Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Sarah Hyland

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

“Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland joins me at Gracias Madre in West Hollywood. Over chips & guac, we dive into her healthcare struggles during the show’s run, her love story with former “The Bachelorette” contestant Wells Adams and her hilarious stories of growing up in New York City.  Want next week’s episode now? Subscribe to Dinner’s on Me PLUS. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, but you’ll also be able to listen completely ad-free! Just click “Try Free” at the top of the Dinner’s on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show, the incredibly strong and talented Sarah Highland. We'll talk about her love story with Wells Adams, why filming modern family was incredibly hard at moments, and her dad's DIY approach to keeping her East Village block safe when she was a kid. My dad, his nickname was the mayor of 7th Street, because at night he used to actually like walk 7th Street between first and second with a baseball bat. What?

Yeah! You're going to want to stick around for this. Oh, what's that I hear? Is that the sound of a spicy margarita being made? I'll answer that question myself. It is. It's got all you need. Lime, agave, citrus salt, then of course, tequila, or if you're feeling smoky, mescal. Today I'm at Mexican restaurant Gracias Modre. It's just off Melrose and West Hollywood, just a block away from the Survendipum Sur for any Bravo listeners.

Gracias Modre is a place that I've been to before and love. It's plant-based and beloved in vegan vegetarian circles, but you don't have to be an herbivore to appreciate it. This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I chose today's spot for someone I consider a little spicy yet oh so approachable. I know she also loves tacos and makes responsible nutrition choices. I mean she makes vitamin infused chocolates for

god's sake. Shout out to source. So without further ado you might know her from pitch perfect bumper in Berlin the wedding, or as my niece, for 11 seasons on modern family, it's Sarah Highland. I mean, hi. Oh, she's gonna dance in. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Body rolls.

Body rolls in. Well, that's awesome, I slide, don't you remember? Was it your birthday? Oh, no. Christmas, Christmas Eve. Oh, you came over for Christmas Eve, I thought. Christmas Eve, I thought. Christmas Eve, Santa was great.

That's right. Now I remember, and Santa was hitting on my mom. Shut up. Oh yeah. Holy shirt balls. I have all these photos of him like, cozying up to my mom on the couch and like just with his arm around her.

A Santa? I'm also a boy. Also her face is kind of like, I know what you're doing. You know, like she's like, enough is enough. So Mommy did not want to kiss Santa Claus. Mommy, I did not catch Mommy kissing Santa Claus. No.

Forget that was last time. That's a long time ago. I know. That's what I'm saying. Have you Googled herself recently? Oh God, no. Why? Okay.

I'm just asking because I gave an interview. Someone asked if I've given you any advice. And so like, if you Googled your name right now, this is the headline that will pop out. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Jesse Tyler Ferguson tells Sarah Highland to wait before having kids. So I just want to go on the record by saying,

I don't care if you want to have kids tomorrow. I'm not breaking the news here folks. Breaking the news. That's so funny though. I love that. I'm glad I got that off my chest. I was like, that's the first thing. I know, it's probably working.

But also like you're probably, I guess I could go myself every day. My God, so do you remember the year that I decided to get a spray tan right before the Emmys? Oh yes, I remember. Very well. Very well. Was it the same year that I got a spray tan?

It might have been. It might have been. I know I got one because I was wearing a white tuxedo jacket and I thought, okay, well, I'm very pale. Maybe just a little bit of color might help, you know? Yeah, just a top. So it was like a Thursday and Stephanie, our makeup artist, the head of makeup from Modern Family, said, oh, I'll do's the top. So it was like a Thursday and Stephanie, our makeup artist, the head of makeup from Modern Family,

said, oh, I'll do your spray tan. She comes in with her kit, does my tan, and that night I went to an event for, it was like a pre-immie event. Do you like the red carpet, take photos with everyone, and then I see a photo of myself that a friend took,

I took a photo with I think Nolan actually. I took a picture of my phone and I was like, oh, let me look at it and I see myself for the first time and I look seven shades darker than I normally would. Did you wash it off before the event? No, so this was on a Thursday. Like I got the break time on a win. The Emmy's were on a Saturday.

This was Friday, okay, so it had been a day. It had been a day, or maybe it was the night of. But I looked like I was in another race. I was like, thank God by Sunday it all faded. I was good to go. You're good to go for the Emmy's, but maybe not for the pre- Emmy parties. I miss going to those with you.

I know. I was talking with Julie Bowen about this a little bit, especially at the beginning when the show was new. And we were like, the new kids on the beginning when the show was new and we were like The new kids on the block and like you know everyone was celebrating us and they were throwing a party for us Like because they were so excited about the show and then like it all slowly went away. Hi No need to apologize And you can just start teaching awfully brows the menu. I would love an aquafresca

Yeah, we have pineapple or watermelon. I'm gonna do a watermelon, please and I will have a Spicy Magarita, please Achila, please. Thank you so much That like love that we all got at the beginning with you know going to those parties and just feeling that wave of support. And then we were lucky enough to have such a long run with it, but there was that time, and Julian and I were trying to figure out what that time was when the support started going, it's like, okay, your time's up.

Let's get out of the pool. When we didn't know how to exit the exit. Yeah, exactly, yeah. We talked about that. I am a big fan, long time listener, dinner's on me. So I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, you know, it was like there's that there was a turn. fan long time listener, dinner's on me. So I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, you know, it was like there's that there was that turn. Thank you for listening by the way. I mean, duh, you're one of my most favorite people in the entire world. So I like to support my

friends. I absolutely listen to you and well as recapping your wedding on his podcast. Oh, I want to hear what this was like from that side of things. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, look at that. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you.

What's your favorite thing? I always like to ask that. A couple things I love are tacos el mar. Oh. It's coconut meat coated with garbanzo flour, pickled onions to die for. Oh wow. The wakakables are a classic bowl for the flavors, textures. Let's get some black and chips. Amazing. I love the wakakables. Thank you. Thank you. And I'm going to have the tacos Del Mar. Yes. You got me. Yes please. Oh man. So excited. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You didn't know I made it Danny again.

I'm gonna be done with you. Thank you so much. Oh, I'm excited. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you. For my tacos del marg, cheers, babe. I'd cheers. I love an agro fresco. Oh, I love a spicy marg.

I'm such a basic white bitch, but I really love a spicy marg. Oh, who does it? Okay, I have so many things I want to talk to you. Okay, let's talk. First of all, I was thinking today about how your childhood was like my dream. He's like, you know, I was very in an opportunity,

in Mexico. I dreamed of going to New York. I watched a 20-watt every single year. I was like, I didn't even know what New York was. I was like, that's where I want to be. And you're tiny little TV in the kitchen. Exactly. And I was like, that's where I want to be. And you're tiny little TV in the kitchen. Exactly. And I was like, I just want to go someday.

And you were not only born in New York, but you were raised there. I believe both your parents were actors, right? Your mom was an actress, but I know your dad is. It's currently working in Harry Potter on Broadway. Dumbledore. Dumbledore on Broadway. But your mom was, is, was an actress?

Is, and is now was then. Okay, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. A little time in between. Gotcha. And your brother was an actor. And like, what, like, just talk to me about like, not only like, just growing up like a child actor in New York, but actually just living as a kid in that city.

Yeah, it's, it's wild, you know? I mean, it's always like, grasses greener type of stuff. I grew up in like a 300 square foot apartment with a tub in the kitchen. On the top of a five floor walkup with mice everywhere. Like, I'm so grateful for it. And I loved every second of it growing up. But it definitely was like, I knew it was different,

but yet I couldn't imagine a different type of childhood, even when I was a child, like, even in that present moment, you know, the East Village, I grew up on 7th between first and second street, and the East Village, in the 90s, it was not what it is now, and it was very dangerous.

My dad had, his nickname was the mayor of 7th Street because at night he used to actually like walk 7th Street between first and second with a baseball bat. And what? What? I cannot imagine him doing that. I know. Well, I could walk up and down the street

with a baseball tag, just kind of like our own like street patrol type of situation. It's just sort of as an intimidation factor. As an intimidation factor, just kind of like our own like street patrol type of situation factor. As an intimidation tactic, you know, like there was a lot of people on the street that had little kids and you know, I had to protect that.

Out of protecting, you know, just like, but he was, it was my dad with baseball bat. Love that. Yeah, and so everyone nicknamed him the mayor of seven street, because that's what he did. So it's, it's, it's very wild thinking about my childhood, about how my parents had to literally like lift me up

out of the foyer because there were needles there from overnight. So it was very, very dangerous growing up, but I didn't think of anything otherwise. Hello. Hello, I don't drink so much. Yummy, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you so much. You're so much. Yummy. Thank you.

Oh, welcome. Thank you so much. You did it. You did it. You did it. Okay, here we are. You started acting and making money when you were four. I was four, yeah.

And that was like, what? Voiceovers commercials. I played Howard Stern's daughter in place of cards. That was at seven, right? Well, that came out in 97, but when I shot it, I was four. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. Do you remember what that was like? Every single moment.

I mean, tell me about what you remember at age four and being a working actor in New York. It's strange. I think I'm one of the few people that remember way too much about what. I'm shocked that you remember things that happened to you at four. Yeah, I mean, I remember the whole audition process because I had been begging my parents to let me audition and them being, you know, theater actors. They're like, no, you're going

to face rejection and be poor for the rest of your life. Don't want to be an actor, trust me. And I was like, no, no, no, no, this, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, girl's name, but she was so sweet, she played my older sister. It's just like us running up to Howard Stern's screaming daddy-dassy. And like that's it, and like walking away. It was the easiest gig for a four-year-old. And so we're filming at JFK. My quote unquote trailer was a conference room.

And they were like, hi, I'm so and so on the PA. What do you want to eat? And I heard PA, and in my head, I thought personal assistant. So I was like, oh, personal assistant, thank you so much. I get this entire conference room to myself. Look how fancy I am. I would like Blimpies and chocolate covered strawberries. Thank you so much with a sprite.

And she was like, I'm not sure if there's a blimpies here, but I will see what I can do. And I will see what I can do about chocolate-covered straw berries at J.A.K. Somehow they made it happen. And they brought me a turkey sandwich from Blimpies and chocolate-covered strawberries. I was like, this is the life.

So by the way, PA stands for production assistance. Yes. Not your personal assistance. But as a four-year-old, PA stands for production assistant. Yes. Not your personal assistant. Your personal assistant. But as a four year old, I didn't know production. And it says, my dad had been doing theater. So I didn't know the film, television life. And so I just thought personal assistant.

And it was like the most glamorous thing in the world to me. And I had so much fun. And Howard was just the kindest individual. And I just remember thinking, like, you have the kindest individual and I just remember thinking like you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen, you're so pretty. And then the next job that I got was playing Jennifer Aniston's daughter and objected my affection. And I had a honey wagon.

There was no blimpies or chocolate covered straw bear eyes. And a honey wagon just for people who have never heard of this, is like, how would you describe it? It's like, it's kind of like a sleeve of a room. A sleeve. It's a sleeve of a room. A quarter sleeve of a room. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, basically a trailer that's divided into like four, three or four parts, maybe.

I would say more like five or six. Five or six, okay, yeah. And so like you get your little segment of the trailer and sometimes it's about their minute, usually no. Or, well, in the 90s, the Honeywagans, you lifted up a cushion of the couch and it was literally. That's right, that's right. I remember the first time I actually was in one

that had a chair that converted to a toilet. I was like, this cannot be Santa's hair. This cannot be Santa's hair. I was sitting on that when it was, you know, when it was not, when it was the couch. When it was the couch, and being very uncomfortable that underneath this cushion was just like blue, like toilet water, you know.

Who knows how many people have been in here, what kind of people. What kind of people. Yeah, it was all very disturbing. Yeah. So that was a honeywag. So it was a Honeywag. So it was a Honeywag.

A bit of a, a bit of a culture shock for me. A demotion from a conference room. Yes. Exactly. From the chocolate-covered strawberries and conference room, my mom was like, oh, thank goodness. She's not going to want to act anymore because she sees how life really is a working actor. Yeah. But then I would, you know, I'd be doing my penmanship on the side of the street

because it was a nice day out and the honey wagon smelled like a bathroom because it was. Right. And Jennifer Aniston saw me and she was like, oh honey, what are you doing? No, come into my trailer. Do you home or there? And my mom was like, gosh, Jennifer, I am trying to teach my daughter a lesson that it is not all glamour, and now you're inviting her into your entire trip with like a bed and a kitchen, and it was like one of those massive trailers, and you know, she's Jennifer for an Aniston.

At the height of friends, right? Like beginning height, like us, like essentially, like modern family season two, three kind of, a big, big deal. So she had this massive trailer, and I would just do like Jennifer and Aniston would help me with my penmanship, like modern family season two, three kind of big, big deal. So she had this massive trailer and I would just do like Jennifer and Einstein would help me with my penmanship and everything and my mom was like, my goodness, my daughter's just like the luckiest little girl ever that she

keeps getting hold into these places and. Okay, I was wondering this because I did not come from parents of you know My parents were not in the entertainment business, but I know Several of my friends, you know grew up with with parents who were playwrights and actors and What was it like for you? Growing up with parents who were you know successful. They were working But you know, I mean you were sort of hitting it at a different level. It seems like even early on.

Yeah. Do you know what that was like for your dad and for your mom to sort of be shepherding you into this industry and have you doing so well? It was their complications with that? My parents have always been so supportive other than them saying, no, don't become an actor. Right, right.

Once they realize that the train had left the station and they couldn't stop it, they realized, well, we have to support her now. And you were sure that? She's on this ride. My dad, he was doing Merchant of Venice in the Shakespeare Theater of Louisville. I'm just kind of like really taking any job he could

to put money on the table. So he would be in Colorado for six months at a time. And here I was, you know, on television shows and doing movies left and right. But I think that they were always just really proud of me and just always making sure that I wanted to do it. I don't think they ever resented me in any type of way. I think they just realized, you know, like I guess this is what our daughter's going to do it. I don't think they ever resented me in any type of way. I think they just realized, you know, like, I guess this is what our daughter is going to

do with her life. We really hoped for her to be a doctor or a lawyer or something. We want to make sure that she doesn't make any mistakes. I'm so grateful for how my parents raised me and navigated that me being in the industry and kind of doing things that they weren't even doing and had never done before. But I wasn't like a Dakota fanning. Sure. I was just like kind of like a steady working actor from the age of four to 18.

Yeah. When I booked Modern Family, that was like the big rocket to the moon. Kind of thing. I think that honestly, because I came from a theater family and because I had essentially just played jewelry my entire life for 14 years in TV shows and even Broadway and things like that, it really helped set me up for navigating modern family to this success

that I was able to just personally, on a personal note, because it really could have gone sideways for me. I was 18, I was living in LA by myself, I could have become that club girl and things could have gone very differently. So I think because the way that my parents raised me and navigated me within the industry,

and my mom was a wardrobe supervisor at some point. So anytime I do a job, I hang up my wardrobe. It could be 5 a.m. in the morning after a crazy long night shoot. I'm hanging up my wardrobe because if everybody leaves their wardrobe on the ground in their trailer, there is someone that has to pick it up and hang it up themselves and that two, three minutes of their time for every single actor at so much time. So thoughtful.

And so for me, that's something that I always do. So I think they always just truly raised me to have respect for every but every single being on a production and hello! Oh yes thank you so much oh my goodness! Wow and thank you thank you a couple! Thank you so much! Thank you! And now for a quick break but don't go away when I come back I talk with Sarah about her health challenges while on the set of modern family and the incredible mental strength and work ethic that got her through it. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me.

I feel like... How are you, Glockham? I'm all that. So good. Isn't Greg? The same fish? I know. That's crazy.

I'm taking Wells here. No, he'll love it. Did you do a double date here? I loved it. I just was just saying he's... I missed Justin. You have to tell Sarah I missed her. Which I...

I know we'd be friends regardless, because I love you and we have music with theater and comment and we just connected very deep level when we were doing Modern Family Together. But definitely, we both have their knowledge. One of the reasons we are so close is because you love my husband so much. Oh yeah, my mouth is so full. If we got the worst, I'm not fully confident that I would win you in a relationship.

I would straddle. I promise I'd straddle. This is pretty good. And that's what I would win you in a relationship. I would straddle. I promise I'd straddle. The spread eagle. And that's what I would do. I would go full on Chicago for you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. It's so funny because in your episode with Julie, she was like, in a lineup, I don't know if I would have picked Justin. And I was listening and I was like, I would. Because I used to date gay men. And I'd be like, that one, I would want to date him. So I'm going to put him with just a...

I love that. I love the gay art. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, when I first started the show, obviously, I was single, but you were, were you living with your boyfriend at this time? No. So I remember it was either the day of,

or the day before your first date with Justin. You're filming at J. and Gloria's. Uh-huh. What it was, no idea. Okay. Um, but we're in the foie of J. and Gloria's and you come up to me and you're like, I have a date with a 23 year old. I was like, I have a date with a 23 year old.

I was like, I have a date with a 23 year old. Oh my goodness. We both had dates that weekend with like 23. I was like hilarious. I was so excited. I was like, oh my gosh. These are the guys we're gonna marry and I went on that one day and I was like, absolutely not.

I hope this worked out with a 23 year old for dressing because it did work out for me. That's so funny. funny remember that I do not remember that at all that's hilarious I absolutely I'm sure there's a piece of me that was like okay Maybe this boys too young for me if Sarah and I are both I'm sure I'm sure I probably like Accidentally freaked you out in that moment I mean to even just hearing that in retrospect. I'm like oh my gosh. My heart palpitation Me too! Because even just hearing that, and Rucho's back to my, oh my gosh,

my heart palpitation is, you know, we've all vacationed together. Like I feel like we all, it's, it doesn't feel like I'm the old man of the group, even though I am. I am. I'm very pleased. My husband's older than your husband, so.

That's true, it's just a big, hodgepodge of people we love. It really, really is. Okay, so certainly at this time, in your life, things are changing rapidly. You have this steady work. You have it, you're on a show that's a huge hit. I so appreciate how you say you don't want to be defined

by your health struggles. But this is also time when you were having a lot of health struggles. But at this point in your career, you're going through not only like, you know, early 20s, late teens, which is such a tumultuous weird time anyways, figuring out, you know, you're dating people trying to figure out who Wanted a partner and then on top of that, dealing with something that is not only putting you in a tense amount a pain, but also changing the way you look.

In a period when you are on the hottest show on television, let's just face it, it was like we were on a five, five of them, he's on a road streak. Crazy. But it's like all eyes were on us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, can you talk a little bit

about what that felt like? Also, I know you've had these conversations so many times with so many people to have this conversation with someone who is in that space with you. I just hope that, you know, I'm here to take care of you. I don't want you to know, I feel like I'm exploiting this moment of your life because it's something I know that was really hard for you to go through.

But what was that like for you? I mean, I remember there was a day on set. What was that like for you? I mean, I remember there was a day on set. I think I was in rejection on dialysis, and I was in just an extreme amount of pain. And so I just kind of like, they were like, relighting something, and there wasn't enough time to go back to my trailer,

but I also like a barely move. So I found a little corner, I sat in a chair in like Jane Gloria's kitchen. Why are we always at J.A. Gloria's? We've had a lot of seats here. We feel like so much stuff. Any time there was a family, seemed we were almost always at our house.

Yeah, exactly. And so, and I was just kind of curled up into a ball and you came up to me and very lightly touched me on the shoulder. Because I felt like everybody at that time thought like if I even breathe on her, she's gonna break. And you're just like, can I get you anything? Is there anything you need?

I'm here for you. And me being the, you know. Oh, I've been dependent on that. I'm so strong and I don't need anybody. I was like, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just, I'm fine. everything is gonna be okay. And it just like, I just want to let you know

like how appreciative I am for that, because I know in the moment, I was probably very cold in that place, but it was also like a protective of like, if I expel any energy and even energy of gratitude to a person that I love so dearly, that's going to take away from this trying to freeze myself in this moment so I don't feel any more pain than I already do. So I want you to know that like anytime you did any of that, I was always so appreciative

of it. I think what it goes back to is what you were talking about before, is just that workhorse mentality that comes from my parents of, you don't know when the next job is going to be, and you always have to work hard. And if you don't work hard, and if you complain, you get the boot.

So for me, if I ignored how I felt, most definitely not healthy. Please don't do this for anybody else that's listening. This is just how I got through something. If I ignored or tried to set aside my pain and just forge ahead, that was the only way that I knew how, and that was the only, honestly, that was the only way that I was going to be able to make it through anything, was just you work, and you just constantly work, and you constantly just struct yourself with work,

and that's it. For me, I don't remember a lot of filming, and because I was always focused on essentially just surviving and knowing my lines and being there 100% when they yelled action and then immediately collapsing when they yelled cut. Sure, when Modern Family was hitting and this was advised from either mostly from friends of mine who had been through similar experiences like Sean Hayes and Will and Gray

So you know I was I was friendly with Matthew Perry from who was on friends because my friend was dating him at the time Almost all the advice I got was like just remember every moment and really take it all in But there is that thing where it's like you were not you weren't you literally weren't capable of it You had to sub preserve I remember a day when we were shooting, and I don't remember the specifics of the scene, and you might not remember it, because I think you were in a intense amount of pain that day, but we were pushing a car.

Oh my God, I remember that so much. I had gout. You had gout. I was on dialysis. I had gout. It was, that's right, you had gout. And I remember you were wearing a high heel She put me in high heels that hadn't been established by the way those heels had not been I feel like I got cabbage on my nose

I'm sorry For the listeners out there. I was rubbing my nose. It was very intense They had they had not established my outfit yet and they insisted that I was wearing heels and I legit there are pictures on the internet of me like We were purple watches. Yeah, I had I had gout because they had put me I was retaining so much water they put me on like water pills or whatever it was and and and because I was put on that I got gout in my foot It was the most excruciating thing. I love that day. It's so vividly. Again, I don't remember the scene

because I think I was so concerned about you. There was something on the windshield. I was trying to rip it off and was pushing it. You were, and yeah, because you were up there. Is there someone up at the sunroof? Okay, so I don't remember anything. There's something. I'll have to go out of the tape.

Thank God we recorded it. Let's roll the tape, people. On Instagram, play of that. There's something. I'll have to go to the tape. Thank God we recorded it. Let's roll the tape people on Instagram. Play the clip. There are so few industries I feel where like people are expected to work through illness like that. And I do feel like the entertainment business, especially if you're in front of camera, you know, if they can't write you off for like three months,

or four months where you go through this thing, like you kind of have to show up. I hope you hear this praise and like, just know it's coming from such a place of love and I know Julie's throwing this praise and she goes, well, I just remember how strong you were during that time. And I was like, how is this little munch camera doing this?

You got such super power. We were filming a whole episode at Lake Tahoe, we were on a lake boat, and you were in the middle of dialysis, and you were after shooting, you would get driven. Like three, four hours. Three, four hours to Reno, was it? To Reno. To do dialysis, and then come back to work the next day.

I mean, these were the things that were going on in your life. And then on top of that, to also be, you know, the starlet of this huge show, and to have all these eyes on you, I just, your strength still, even in retrospect, as I zoom out, and, you know, the show is four, five years behind us now. It's just, it's been a while,

pandemic really messed with our timeline. But it's just, it's been a while, Penn, the pandemic really messed with our timeline. But it really just, it astonishes me and it also just, it makes me wonder why I can't have more strength in myself sometimes. Oh, just because you truly, you're such a super human, truly, truly. Thank you so much, I love you so much. And I think I really needed to hear that.

Oh. I do. Cause you know, it's that workhorse thing. You just keep doing it. And then you forget and you don't look back about like, oh, look what I have accomplished. Look what I have done. And I do know that my strength is something that I am very proud of. Hello. I'm not at all. It's absolutely delicious. I can't believe this is not fish.

I know, right? What? The essence for the nut fillet. What is it exactly if it's not fish? Yes, yes. Please. Please, code with carbonzo flour. Has our pickled onions, our ginger, cilantro,

crema, it just feels like that baja ensanada essence. It's perfection. It really is. It's a skill, so it's amazing. We wanted to check are we doing good on drinks soon on refill? I'm on the bottom of the hot water fresh. Right away, join in the margarita.

I'm okay right now. Thank you so much. I'll be back with that. Thank you. Thank you. Also, something insane happened during this time. When you were going through probably the hardest part of your chronic illness,

you were going into your second kidney transplant, that your brother was giving you. Donovan. So Donovan was giving you his kidney and right before all this happened, you and your now husband Wells started to talk to one another date started to date wild. What were we thinking? I mean, I remember when you started talking about him and you would come into war in Tahoe That's right in Tahoe. Yeah, when you were on dialysis. Yeah

What was it like opening yourself up to love and to to, not even, listen, at that point, you're just like, oh, it's another guy. I'm gonna maybe go out on a date with Lucy where it goes. But like, it is, you know, it's a very vulnerable place that you have to put yourself into when you meet anyone new. And you were in such a vulnerable state. Yeah. Just, you know, it's a physical human being.

Yeah. I mean, I know firsthand, because I lived through it, but talk to me about, like, what that was like to sort of bring walls into your life at that point. Yeah, it was so, it just kind of goes to show that as much of a detached queen as I am, I'm like, whatever, it'll work out such a Sagittarius

being honest. I told you guys about him for the first time in Tahoe But we had been talking for a little bit at that point, but Tahoe came around and Taylor Swift came out with reputation And Justin and I were dancing our asses off on the on the The Justin came to Tahoe with us and I I was like, I'm gonna tell Justin, I'm gonna tell Justin Justin about Wells. And then of course, like Justin and Wells

being the Portuguese kings that they are, he was like, he's hot. Yeah. And yeah, I just was, I was just open to it. I could tell he was a really good guy and we were texting and sending voice memos like non-stop to each other and then like getting on then like it graduated to the phone calls and Somalennial it's absolutely ridiculous and you know he was opening up a lot to me about like very personal things and

I was just like man like Being on the bachelor at just really did a book. It's like he went to a boot camp for love Yeah, are you excited back up a little bit? Yes, sorry. Well, it was well was a contestant on the bachelor at yes And you were watching that season and you were do you do you tweet something about him? I tweeted he was on the bachelor's. Yes. And you were watching that season. I was. Do you do you do you do you tweet something about him? I tweeted. He was on the mental all and he made a reference to not only Harry Potter but Lord of the Flies. The men's I'm not a huge bachelor or bachelor. Mental law is like a reunion type. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. And the bachelor nation and that bachelor nation, which I'm a part of. What is bachelor nation? Just the culture around. It's like a fan base. Gotcha, okay. I'm making it.

Either fan base or like people that have been on this show and about, I don't know. Okay, it's like a small community. It's a very small community. I think it's rather large. It's actually very large. It's actually very large. I'm the one person who doesn't know that what

a bachelor nation is. Hey, you love Wells, you're a part of bachelor nation. I do. Yeah, so I like tweeted about him and he's slid into my DMs. And then we stopped talking and then a year later, I was single again and we actually started talking and he asked me out. And I was like, yeah, sure.

And he was like, wait, really what? Wow. I did not think that this was going to happen because he lived in Nashville at the time. So it would have been long distance. And I think that's the really great thing about our relationship is that not only did we start long distance, but we started just on the phone, like almost like a modern day love letter, just to each other, like off at war, like, I miss you, Daley, please

stay alive for me. And yeah, we really, really got to know each other before we even were physically in the same room. Right. So I felt very safe and comfortable with him, but obviously not enough to tell him what was going on medically in my life. And then by the time that I realized,

like, oh, man, I really... I think I could probably marry this guy. Like, he is like so. Really? Yeah, I was just like, this is like such a strong connection and I have such an amazing feeling about this. I'm gonna put this out there because I'm not gonna start dating him

when I'm in recovery, like absolutely not. I've been through this before and I know how hard it is when you're recovering. That's not going to happen. So I just kind of threw it out there and I was like, Hey, I'm having something happen next week. And it's going to take me out of commission for the next couple months. So you should come to LA like within the next week or else I don't think that this can continue. And he did. And we had our first date at the night before the Emmy's party. And that's when I told him that I was on dialysis and that was on a Saturday and that next Tuesday,

that Saturday night before the Emmy's party, our first date. The next day was the Emmy's, our second date after that. Monday we had work on Monter family and Tuesday had my transplant. And so I told him at the night before the Emmy's party and he made a joke because it's Wells. And if he's uncomfortable, he makes a joke. And he was like, oh, can your brother ask for that back? And I was like, no, he can't.

It doesn't work that way. And he was like, oh, okay. And he saw like my really, really serious side for the first time. And he was like, oh, this is like really time. And he was like, oh, this is really serious. And he was like, that's amazing. Did you know the tutor had already been through it? Can he transplant before? I don't, I don't.

I actually have never asked him that. Because he was a fan of the show. Right. It's actually, he like, I guess it was like in the first few years of modern. And he was watching it with his buddies. And he turned around to his friends. And it was like, go first few years of modern and He was watching it with his buddies and he turned around to his friends and was like Go that place Haley's hot, but like am I allowed to say that is that okay? He's he thought you were like

And so he's sitting like looked it up and was like oh she's 19. It's it's it's safe to say that she's really hot So like I don't know if he actually knew I'd been through one before or not, but. But so you went into surgery right after meeting him basically? Yeah. And then what happened? We'll describe those days after, he stayed in LA, right? No, he went back to Nashville after the Emmys. He was there that weekend for the dog hero award show

that he presented. Right. And yeah, we just, I was in the hospital on a crazy amount of drugs, what I like to call Greenland. And I was FaceTiming him. Lord knows what I said. I was FaceTiming Wells in the hospital. I remember he had like the I Heart Music Awards in Vegas

or something like that, cause he worked for I Heart at the time as a radio DJ. And so he was there and he was like on this bus with all of these people from the bachelor that like I knew from watching from television. I am in the hospital bed. Just like essentially just high off my ass. And I'm like, oh my God, it's been the last one.

I met you in time. And it was like, I was just, and like, he put up with that. And he was just so wonderful and kind and like, fall asleep on the phone with him. And he'd be like, okay, I'm going to text you to know that you fell asleep on the phone just so you know. And it was great. And then he would just come out once a week once I was able to see people in person after I got out of the hospital and that's how we really started our relationship. It was it was wild and crazy but I think I needed that.

We'll be right back but don't go away. Next we'll talk about Wells and Sarah's wedding, which I officiated. Thank you very much. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. I mean, to meet someone, obviously, the highs and lows that happened at that time for you are just always so astonishing to me. I mean, it's and lows that happened at that time for you are just always so astonishing to me.

I mean, it's literally capsulid in that weekend. Oh, yeah. You not only do you meet a guy who you really like, you go to the Emmys, I think we, did we win that year? It was our first time losing. I'm sorry. It was the time we got lost. Oh, okay.

But still, you know, yeah, first time. It was a low, but then it was a high. But then it was a high. But then it was a high. What a champagne problem to have that we don't know how to exit the Emmys. To test a relationship, it's such an early, like, I mean, the infancy. Infancy is, it's remarkable, first of all, that it survived.

Yeah. And that you guys are such a great couple. And it certainly was something that, and here's like a little like, fly on the wall, if you ever wish to, where it seren, and here's like a little like fly on the wall if you ever wish to wear it. Sarah and Wells' wedding. But like, it was just this general feeling that whole weekend of like, okay, these two people were meant to be together. And you know, you had gone through so much to get to that day. Yeah. For those who don't know, I did officiate the wedding. It was the most amazing thing ever. Honestly, yeah. The world works in mysterious ways because I can't imagine you not now.

And I think for those that don't know, well, Zenai had planned to have Thai Marius. Yes. Both of us thought that it was an amazing homage to modern in a way that, you know, Phil married Hailey and then Thai could marry me. I think it's a great idea. We were like, oh my gosh.

And then obviously, he told us 10 days before emergencies happen. And so then, well, as an I had a discussion and immediately called you because we were like, if he can do this, we need to tell him now. And we were just so grateful because it was, you were absolute perfection. You were Gandalf.

But like being able to do that was for so much honor, but then also I got to be a part of like these really intimate moments. Like I got to be at that dinner. Yeah, the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner. And there was such a theme of like, you know, your brother standing up

or remember, there was not a dry ride in that room after Donovan stood up and talked about his deep love for Wells and his deep love for you and just knowing that you are on this planet because of the sacrifice that he made and knowing that there's such a deep connection between you two. I mean, it was just, it was so overwhelming and there was just so much love in that room and I was truly honored to be part of that whole weekend. We were obviously all so relieved because it had been a wedding that we all knew was on the books for what at that point, two and a half years. Yeah, I mean not to go back to modern, but we ended, we went into the pandemic. We, for me, I was like, it's not gonna be before the pandemic happened.

I was like, it's not gonna be hard for me. Like everyone's like, I was crying, but I was like, it's fine. It's gonna hit me in August when we're not coming back to the show, but then we're all coming together in August for my wedding anyway. So like, whatever. We're all gonna see each other in August,

like so just queen a denial over there. And like it was pushed for a very, very, very long time that I enjoyed every single second of it and I was able to actually be very present, which I was very grateful for. Yeah, not like a tell, I could tell that. Like, it's so good to see you. I miss you so much.

I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much.

I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much.

I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much and he misses you so much. I would love to do a double date soon. I would love to. I'm probably just going to have to do a triple date with you guys because well, it's on Sunday for VIP, Bachelor and Paradise. Hello. All right.

OK, well, fine. We'll just do it without him. Yeah, we'll just do it without him. Whatever. Well, who's been don't need to be a part of it? You know what? When the cat's away. No, he didn't. When the cat's away, the mouse probably just got a better early

and you know, just like get some organized some drawers. Or organized some drawers. That's what I always say to Jess. I was like, take my dream bites, all of my melatonin chocolate. When the cat's away, the mouse will probably clean out the fridge. It's just really wanted to clean out that fridge. I was really hoping you were going to drop something this episode and go, oh my hearing.

Oh I know. It's happened twice already. I know. But no I can't, I can't, oh I can't manifest it has to just happen. I know. I almost did it. My hearing. He.

Thank you. That's all I wanted. I cackled like a crazy witch, my car when I heard that. And I was like, no one's else, it's gonna get it. But I love you. I love you. Thank you so much for having me. Oh my god, are you, you were like on the top of the whole thing.

And dinner is... Dinner's on me. Oh, I got it. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Thank you. Ha-ha. So Sarah is probably one of the cast members from Modern Family that I see the most, but normally it's a double date or a larger group, so it was so nice to have some one-on-one time with her.

I was absolutely fascinated by her early years in New York City, having two working actresses parents, a small railroad apartment with a bathtub in the kitchen. I mean, no wonder they're also close. I think there's a resilience that she learned through osmosis, just seeing her parents work so hard to put food on the table. I mean, it's why she's such a hard worker, even when her body failed her.

And I know she doesn't wanna be defined by chronic illness, but I find how she's been able to persevere despite these hardships incredibly inspiring. Next time on Dinner's On Me, Chef Marcus Samuelson, we'll get into his jaw-dropping story of finding his birth father in Ethiopia and how a conversation with his mom made him change his whole approach to cooking.

and how a conversation with his mom made him change his whole approach to cooking. Listen to even more episodes of Dinner's On Me on Amazon Music. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinner's On Me Plus. As a subscriber, you not only get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen to them completely ad-free. Just click try-free at the top of the Dinner's On Me Show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

Dinner's On Me is a production of Neon Hum Media, Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by Yours Truly. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Chloe Chobal is our associate producer. Sam Bear engineered this episode. Hansdale She composed our theme music.

Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Alexis Martinez and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week. Ferguson. Join me next week.