Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Side Dish: More Heather Graham

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

More of my interview with ‘Boogie Nights’ and ‘Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me’ star Heather Graham. Heather talks about going to yoga retreats with Molly Shannon, and she reflects on her time hosting SNL, plus – I tell the story of how I proposed to my husband Justin. This episode was recorded at Le Pavillon in Midtown Manhattan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and I know and love her from Boogie Nights, one of my all-time favorite movies. Also, Austin Powers, a spy who shagged me. It was also just announced that she's going to be on the new season of White Lotus, which I'm super excited about. I had no idea about that when we sat down for this conversation. She had to keep that. top secret, I guess. She's had an absolutely incredible career that spanned indie classics,

cult favorites. She's even directed some of our own projects. We met up at La Pavilion in Manhattan. Over steak and scallops, Heather and I talked about our shared love for cooking, and we recall our first time crossing paths in Tulum, Mexico, right before I got engaged. To get back into our conversation, you're pulling up a chair just as we share some of our all-time favorite TV shows. When you were young, like, what were you drawn to? It's like, were you watching interesting films? Were you finding things like that?

Well, when I was really young, of course, I watched Wizard of Oz. I felt like that was like a seminal moment. Like, I love that movie. And like, Sound of Music. And Tootsie, that was like, I love Tootsie. I mean, I watched The Godfather. I watched Sophie's Choice. Yeah, I love the movie Somewhere in Time with, like, Jane Seymour,

who I recently became friends with. I'm like, she's amazing. Yeah, and then, Harold and Maude. That was when I was older, like, 20. I remember watching that movie and being like, I love Ruth Gordon's character. Like, I feel inspired by her. Yeah.

I feel like that movie watching it, it kind of inspired, like, my personality, just the way she, like, loves life and, like, tries to appreciate every moment, and it's just kind of joyful. I just thought she was incredible. Right, yeah. Did you...

What about you? Like, what was your, like, yeah. I mean, I saw you talking to Ted Danson, so I know that's one of the inspirations. I loved, I love sitcoms. Yeah, I love cheers so much. Yeah, sitcoms were big for me. I love, like, family ties. I loved Silver Spoons.

I loved Alf. I had a big crush on Michael J. Foxx. Yes, me too. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but like back to the future and all those films, like I love. I mean, and then when I came to New York and, like, I was sort of exposed to more, um, not even like, like, it's funny because like when I came to New York, like, I, I was exposed to so much more music and film and, like, all this stuff was accessible to me in Albuquerque,

but I just wasn't looking for it because I wasn't. I wasn't really allowed to watch it, actually. You weren't, okay. I wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies and stuff. So when I kind of moved out, it was really excited. I suddenly got to watch all this stuff, which is so fun. Did you move out young? I moved out when I was 18.

Because once I made that money, I could get my own place. Right. Then I can watch R-rated movies. Right, right, right, right, yeah. No, I guess that's when I moved to New York. I mean, not that my parents were keeping me from watching that stuff, but I just felt like I had more access to it. And same with food, too.

Like, it's the first time. I tried sushi and Indian food. And all these things that, like, I just never tried in Albuquerque. Me too. I hadn't tried sushi. I didn't know what hummus was. Yeah, cuss-coose. All these exotic things.

That's so funny. Yeah. No, I feel like when I was a kid, no one ate sushi. No. No, I remember it's specifically in Albuquerque. I remember there's a Japanese restaurant that we'd always go to for special occasions. But we'd always get like the terriaki. It's like, it's kind of like Binnihano where they cook on your table.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my uncle would always get sushi. And I remember, like, me and my cousins were like, oh, that's so gross. He's like, we'd watch him eat the sushi. Like, he's eating raw fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like my favorite meal. It's like people were slightly more judgmental about, like, exotic cuisine, you know?

Now I feel like everyone's like, oh, yeah, let's try it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Or maybe it's just we've got more sophisticated. Maybe. Maybe. No, I love that you're foodie. I'm so, it seems so fun that you know all those shots. What was it like hosting the James Beard Awards?

I mean, that must have been so fun to meet all those people. I definitely. And do they all just invite you to their restaurants and like. I mean, that does. happen. It's very, I have such deep respect for the culinary world. I think like if I hadn't been an actor, I would have gone to culinary school. I would have loved to have. Are you a good cook? I think so. Yeah. I find it very meditative. Wow. And like what do you make? I really. I love to just try new things. I'm such a cookbook collector. So I love to just like crack open a cookbook and try new

things. I, it's amazing. It's, yeah, I find it very peaceful to be able to do that. Um, But when I was asked to host a James Beard Award, I just, I have such deep respect for that community. I wanted to. And that's a hard. It's so hard. It must be like having a restaurant. It seems like one of the hardest things. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. But I just, I wanted, you know, that's such a special night for them. It's their Oscars as they probably hate that we call it. But like, it's such a big night for them. And I wanted it to be as special as possible. So I took it very seriously. Like, I mean, I really went all out for them. And, yeah.

And it was great. I got to meet all these, like, heroes of mine, these chefs that I just absolutely love. Wow. Yeah, and it's definitely, you know, it ingratiated me to the culinary world in a way that I'm very happy to be ingratiated. That is cool. Yeah. My friends are always teasing me because, like, whenever I'm having lunch, I'm, like, asking, what are we going to have for dinner? You know what I mean?

You're like, what are we going to eat for breakfast? I'm always, like, I'm eating something. It's so good. And I'm like, okay, what are we going to eat for, like, next, you know? I love that. I love that. So good. So fun.

Yeah. I mean, what else is there in life, really, right? Like food. The people that you love and like. I mean, it's a whole emphasis of this podcast. It's like, I want to have great conversations with people over a meal and like,

I know. Just be able to share the experience of eating with someone, you know? Yeah. So I feel very lucky I got to do it. Are you sure you don't want to try this? No, you have it. I think I'm going to save it. Yeah?

Okay. I don't want to get too full. But this bread was insane. The bread's so good. onion and like parmesan cheese-crested on it. I know, it was incredible. Love, love. Yeah.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Heather talks about going to yoga retreats with Molly Shannon, and she reflects on her time hosting on S&L. Okay, be right back. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. It's not just about finding someone talented. It's about finding someone talented who also gets it. Someone who understands your needs and actually makes things easier, not harder.

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yogurt tree with Molly Shannon? How did you two become friends? Well, I kept running into her. I think I met her in like 2000 maybe. Okay, wow. Yeah, I mean, I was on Saturday Night Live at one point. Did you host? I did host, yes.

How is that? Yeah, it was a long time ago. I mean, it was terrifying and fun. And, yeah, so I met Molly and then I kept running into her. Like, I'd be at the grocery store and Beachwood Canyon. and I'd run into her. And we're both, like, very into psychology and therapy and talking about analyzing people. Okay.

I love that. And reading books and just, I don't know, she's an amazing person. Like, she's an incredible, I mean, did you read her book? It's so good. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, I really like her. I've met her a few times. She's lovely.

I know. She's trying to convince me to write a book, which I'm kind of considering. You should. What would it be about? Just my life, I guess, kind of like hers. But her book was incredible. Like, I loved it so much. How do you know her?

Just from being a fan and seeing her around and I kind of forced myself on her. I've always heard she's very nice. So I was like, I'm going to go say hello. And I introduced myself and she's lovely. Wait, we're not going to let you. I'm not letting you get off the hook about talking about Saturday Night. Because you're talking about being scared to perform in front of an audience.

And that's literally, not only you're performing in front of a live audience, but then they're recording it for like, the world to see. I know. That's what I'm saying it was terrifying. So let's talk about that. That's like doing theater times 500. I know. I know. I was deeply terrified. I imagine. I feel like I admire people to do that so much. I think I would excel on SNL. I've always wanted to do it. Why don't you do it? Because no one's asked me. Maybe you should tell them you want to do it. I think they know. Okay, so do you remember a lot about... You would be really good in that.

I went to see Sophia Bagaradu, and she, she's only cast member from a model family, did it. And I hung out with her, like, backstage before. Wow. And she was so terrified, but so great. And just being in the environment of, like, you know, that energy before the show, I was like, I want to be a part of this. It looks so fun. Did you have fun that week? Were you just in a state of complete terror?

A mixture of fun and a state of complete terror. I mean, I think I would be better now. I think at this point, I think when I was younger, I was more like, I want to be in movies about the Holocaust and, you know, really serious actor. I think now I'm like, I like comedy. You know, I'm like, life's hard enough. What were you doing at that point that, like?

Because usually it's like you're doing something. Was it the hangover? No, I don't know. It was probably just post Austin Powers just got asked, you know? I can't remember if it was a specific movie, but it was probably just after Austin Powers, like a year or two after. That was very comedy.

Yes. But I think that, But I think now I love comedy, okay? When I was younger, I was like, I don't know, comedy, you know, I want to do drama. I really wanted to do serious drama. I wanted to be doing things about important subjects like the Holocaust. You know what I mean? Or like people dying or something.

Now I'm just like, oh my God, I want humor. I want comedy. Like I just admire, I love watching female standups because, yeah, when I was growing up, there were no female standups. It was all men just talking about how much they hate their wives, right? Yeah. So it's so good to watch like. like an Ali Long or an Amy Schumer or somebody go,

okay, well, what's the female side of the story? So as I've gotten older, I just love comedy. So now I think I'd be better than then. Then I was terrified. It's so funny that you're saying this because you've done like... And I'm better at laughing at myself. Oh. I mean, it's, you have this iconic,

comedic movie career between Austin Powers and the hangover. I mean, these are a huge, I'll have show. Thank you. Iconic comedy films. It's funny to me that you're like, now I'm into comedy. I mean, I always like had a funny bone. You've an appreciation for it, though, a different way. I like comedy, but now I absolutely love comedy.

I think I liked it, you know. I'm talking about myself as an audience member, I guess. Like, I love being in those movies, and I love doing comedy. But I would say, like, as an audience member now, I admire and respect comedy more than anything else. You know, like, I just think it's the most amazing highest art form. Like, how do you make life funny and not, like, sad and depressing? You know?

Meanwhile, is that amazing? This is so good. I know. Do you, are you one of those people that can watch your own work and enjoy it? Somewhat. I mean, sometimes it's hard. I mean, like, either you, you know, get kind of self-conscious or you're weird. You can't really watch yourself or you start, like, looking at how you look.

I don't know. How are you? I think I used to be really good at it. Yeah. I know what's happened in the last few years, but I do not. I don't want to hear myself talking. I don't want to see my face. I don't want to know about it.

So you decided to do a podcast where you film yourself. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I have a hard time with it. But you used to not? I used to be okay. I mean, I watched every episode of Modern Family.

Part of it was because I was a fan of the show. I genuinely love the people on the show. And I was like, if I wasn't a part of the show, I'd want to watch it. And because it was such a big ensemble, like, so much of the show didn't involve me. I mean, there was, you know, if you took out my part of the show, sometimes it would only be like six or seven minutes of the 22 minutes episode. So, like, there was so much more that didn't involve me that I got to watch other people's work, you know, who I love so much. Yeah, everyone was so great. And so I watched every episode and then I don't know what happened, but like, I've been having a really hard time, like, stepping back and like looking at myself in a way that I enjoy.

Some actors don't watch themselves at all. I know. I think someone told me like Christopher Walken, like he never watches himself. Some really good actors are just like, no, I'm not doing it. Yeah, Jesse Eisenberg did an episode of our show, and he was so excited because he loves the show. and he refused to watch his scenes. So he asked for an episode. He asked for a copy of the episode he was in with his scenes cut out.

Are you kidding? Oh, my God. And all the scenes were with me. That is hilarious. Wait, I haven't seen that episode. What does he play? He plays my neighbor who's like this like really annoying like environmentalist. Oh, really?

Oh, my God. He's so funny. I run my sprinklers a little too long and he like comes over and like says something. He's perfect. Wait, these Brussels sprouts are in. I know they're really good. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Russell's best can be hard. Mm-hmm. They can get spongy. This is great. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Heather and I recall our first run-in with each other, and I tell the story of how I proposed to my husband, Justin. Okay, be right back.

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your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. And we're back with more dinners on me. Wait, so you were saying that you feel like you first met me in Touloum. Yeah, well, I was in Touloum, which is like my favorite. place, which by the way, that is an amazing foody place, too. It is. It is incredible.

Yeah, no, I walk by you on the beach. Of course, I'm a huge fan, and I was nerding out by recognizing you and seeing you there. And, yeah, you were with, I guess you were on a date with your husband, maybe. When you say it was, 15 years ago, it's the trip I proposed to my husband.

Oh, my God. How did you propose to him? I'm kind of curious. So, I didn't get him a ring. I got him a So I had been gifted from Modern Family a Rolex watch. It was a gift like for, you know, we got picked up for like a third season or something or maybe it's the second season.

And they gave us a Rolex. And I was like, this is like very fancy. I mean, there used to be a time on TV where like, I remember like the cast of friends, I think got like cars. Oh my gosh. I mean, there was a time when like the gifts were huge. And do you remember they used to have like if you went to the Academy Awards or something, they give you a basket and have like crazy things in it like a computer or something.

I mean I never went to the Oscars, but I do know that like there was like, and for the Emmys. They used to give crazy gifts. Now they don't. Now they don't. No, they don't. No, no. It's like a gift certificate for like 20% off with like Lynn's crafters. Exactly. But so they had given me a Rolex and my husband Justin, my now husband, he would always borrow the Rolex and where he was. And how many years had you been together? How long did you go together? This was two years. Okay. And so I thought, okay, what am I going to get him? I don't want to get him a ring. I don't want to get him an engagement ring. So I got him. I don't really like rings actually. They're like, yeah, yeah. I don't need that. I don't need. I don't need. I don't need. I. I don't need. I don't. I don't need. there. So I got him instead of an engagement ring, I got him a Rolex watch. Oh wow. And I was like had diamonds on this around the side. And on the back it said spend all your time with me.

Oh, that's really romantic. The problem with a Rolex watch is like you can't just like slip it into your pocket. It's like it's chunky. Do you ever like worry like when you have something like that fancy and expensive like someone's going to like attack you and steal it? Yes. And also I was traveling. Yeah. And we, you know, I didn't know if I should check it in my

or if I should carry it on. I was nervous if he carried it on. Like, he would see it though, because we were sharing a carry on back. Okay. I think I did carry it on. Yeah, you should. But when we got into the hotel room,

I was like, where do I hide this? Because I couldn't put it in the safe. Yeah. Because, like, he was using it. Yeah. And so I was like, I remember one point it was like inside, like, the tube of the toilet paper. Oh my God.

That sounds like a crazy accident waiting to happen. I know, truly. Like, someone throws it away. And I kept moving it around. And, like, he's like, also a lawyer. And so he's, like, really perceptive. So if I was like opening up a drawer, he's like, what's over there? And like I'd be like, I could not hide it from him.

So I kept in my pocket most of the time. Wow. And so. And what, like, you're waiting for the right moment? I was waiting for the right moment. Yeah. And so there was a few nights and like in Touloum, as you know, like you sort of like. And were you carrying it with you just like waiting for the moment?

So every night, not at all times. But like, every time we go out to dinner at night, I would put it in my pocket. And I would be like, okay, tonight, like maybe I'll do it. If I think it's a nice moment at dinner. There's great restaurants there. Great restaurants. And there was this place I remember in Toulogne that we went that you go and it's like they basically just set out tables on the beach and they sit down with you. I don't remember.

It's actually an Italian place. They serve like a kind of pasta. No, no, no, no. I know which one you're talking about. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah. And they sit down with you and they sort of tell you what the catch of the day is. It's called Casa Margarita or something margarita.

Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah. No, I've been there and it's amazing. It's where we went like every night. Yes. So romantic, so great. And yeah, why not? Yeah.

Here, you want to try it? It's really good. This is more than two ounces. It's sour. So I had the watch with me at that restaurant. And as we're walking back on the beach, I was like, okay, this is the moment. And so I was literally about to, like, get down on my knee and, like, propose. And the moonlight was hitting the beach.

It was so beautiful. And then all you could see in the moonlight were, like, these little sand crabs hopping around. And Justin, like, freaked out. He started screaming and, like, running. I was like, oh my God. This is like night three when it's like, I got to get, I got to unload this watch. Oh my God. How many nights?

How did you? It was like five nights there. Okay, okay, okay. I think by like night four, I was like, if it's not tonight, like it's, I don't know what to do. I'm too stressed. I'm too stressed out. I got to get rid of this watch.

And so I think what happened, well, I know what happened is one morning he was having coffee out on our little balcony. And I basically like got down on one knee. I was like, here's a while. I threw it out of it. I was like, oh, you marry me. And I was like, just wanted to unload it. the watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it happened. Really? And what was his reaction?

He was sort of because I was so, like, crazy about how I was asking him. Thank you so much. Because you were, like, stressed. I was stressed out. It wasn't like, no, it wasn't like I had a a speech or anything prepared. Like, I, you know, like, normally there's something that precedes the actual. Is that the mid-tee? Or, okay, I wasn't sure if that's something you ordered. No, that's for you. I think he was sort of taken aback. It's like, for the full day, we were both, like, in shock. So what did he say? He said yes.

He obviously said yes. So was he expecting it or it was a surprise? No. Oh. It was a surprise. Okay, wow. And then you guys talked about marriage? Like was he?

Yes. And he basically said like when you're ready, I'm ready. I'm 10 years older. So I think he was. I did know he would say yes. Yes. I wasn't worried about that part. Okay.

And then do you guys joke about it now? Yeah, we're like that was crazy. Like how it just was, there was zero romance involved in the proposal. That's funny. That's funny. But maybe that's good. You know, it's like you have a real relationship and it's like you're really in love and you don't have to have a romantic moment. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's all that said, when you saw me in Tulum, I was either just about to get engaged or I had just gotten engaged. Yeah, that's incredible. No, it was like the sun was setting. It was like all milky, you know, that time in Toulon where it's like all like dreamy and like, yeah, you were walking down the beach with a guy and I'm like, oh my God, he's a great actor. It was just funny when you're like, you think you're in the middle of nowhere and then you see like this actor. I can't believe. And we didn't talk? Well, I didn't say anything because I'm kind of shy. But yeah.

I was saying. But I saw you. Yeah. I didn't see you. I really, I would have recognized. I would have, because I've been a fan. No, it was a vivid. It was a vivid memory because I'm like, you know what that?

Because it was before Tulum had become so popular. I feel like now, like, of course everyone's in Touloum. But it was at a moment before everyone was going there. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had been there like five years before when it was even more rustic. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. No, I would. have been so excited if you had said hi. I know I should have said hi. You really should. I'm trying to be more outgoing and confident about that stuff.

Yeah. It's interesting that you say that because I, I'm the same way as you. Like, I really have a hard time saying hi to people. Well, sometimes, too, if they're like a celebrity or you like, you like, you like their work, you're like, okay, do they want to be bothered? Like, okay, I was just doing the today. You're a celebrity. I know, but I don't always think of myself that way.

I don't go like, I'm a celebrity. I was just doing the Today show and like Cardi B was up after me. And I'm kind of like lightly obsessed with Cardi B. but I didn't get to say hi to her. But I was like, oh my God, I want to say I'd her. Well, it's so funny, I was on a late night talk show once. Jana Jackson was the person before me. That's fun.

And I was like, I gotta meet Jana Jackson. I'm like, I mean, come on. Yeah. And she was very kind. And I have to remind myself. That's cool. Because this happens to be sometimes when people say hello to me. Like, I truly love hearing that people love what I do or that, like, my work has meant something to them.

But a lot of people are like that, but maybe some people are not. not as, like, I don't know. You don't want to find out someone you really admire is a jerk or doesn't, like, like, like you, you know, maybe, yeah. Has that happened to you where you've, like, been brave and said hello to someone and it hasn't gone well? I mean, I'm sure. I can't, like, think of anything right now, but sometimes people are just like, oh, yeah,

you know, like, I don't know. They're not, whatever. I've had a few. Most people are nice, but occasionally you're like, oh, that person's not, like, what I was hoping to be. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to ruin the illusion. I, totally. It's, you know, I'm sure you've been to some of the parties, like, you know, after like the Hymies or the, you know, the SAG Awards and there's these, like, you know, parties that are just like, it's so chock full of, like, celebrities from every world, musicians and movie stars and TV stars. And it's overwhelming. And there's where there's one specific party, the Enstyle party after the SAG Awards, where I've met a few people where it's just not gone well. Yeah, yeah.

But then there's other people, like, we were talking about Carrie Russell and Matthew Reese, who like, I love them so much and they're, I consider them very good friends now. You should go to Sofrow with them. I'm telling you, I told him about that restaurant and now I think he's become obsessed. I will. Yeah. That's a great place to go with him. Yeah. But I remember the first time I met them was at

a party after the SAG Awards. And Ty Borell, who's on Modern Family with me, was good friends with them and introduced us. And like, I still talk about this with Carrie. Like, it was the most awkward interaction. Like, none of us were like talking to one another. because we were all so overstimulated by the room. Yeah.

Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I get really nervous in those situations. And I was like, I told her, like, God, I was so excited to meet you and Matthew. Wow. And she goes, that's so excited because I was excited. I was so excited to meet you. But like, like, we were just, we couldn't in that circumstance, like, have a real moment because it was just like too much going on.

So, I don't know. I'm trying to get better about, like, now that I'm. But you can have really cool because I was at a party for this movie called Children of Men. And I met Moby there. And then we became friends. So sometimes those moments can turn into, like, and then we became friends, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. Just cool. All I'm saying is you should have said hello. Okay. Well, now I wish I would have. Well, at least now. I know. Well, we can be friends now if you want.

Yes, we can. That was more from my conversation with Heather Graham. If you haven't heard our full conversation yet, make sure to check it out on Dinner's On Me. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at La Pavilion in Midtown Manhattan. Next week on Dinners on Me, You know him from roles like Blaine Anderson on Glee and from his Emmy winning and Golden Globe Award winning

turn as Andrew Kannon and the assassination of Gianni Versace. It's Darren Chris. We'll get into his journey from Theater Kid to award-winning performer. He's a Tony Award winner for maybe happy ending on Broadway and how he reflects on a career that just keeps hitting new highs. Dinner is On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasni and Justin McKita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

Join me next week. Hey, y'all. I'm Maddie. And I'm Poodle. And together we host the podcast Reality Gays. We are two ridiculous homosexuals who love nothing more than talking about reality television and tearing in a new one. So whether it's 90-day fiancé, love is blind, love after lockup, or any other trash TV show about lonely hearts looking for love, your gay besties got you cover, Joe.

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