Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Side Dish: More with Ann Dowd

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

More of my interview with 'The Testaments’ star Ann Dowd. We talk about parenting, dealing with rejection as actors, and Ann shares how debilitating stage anxiety made her leave a show. Plus, the meaningful practice she’s found to ground herself. This episode was recorded in The Living Room of The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So if you're looking for something different than a recap and deeper than a soundbite, you're in the right place. New episodes of Andy's Girls drop every week, streaming from the clothfish to wherever you get your podcasts. Say bon, say bon. Hey, it's Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Here's a little side dish episode from this week's episode of Dinners on Me. This week's guest was Anne Dowd, the Emmy, a winning actress, who you might know from the Handmaid's Tale, the leftovers, and more recently the Testaments. We met up at the peninsula in Beverly Hills,

where fittingly, we settled in for tea in the living room. With Anne returning to the world of Gilead in the Testaments, where tea is a key part of schooling there, it felt like the perfect way to spend the afternoon. You do this often? I don't do the tea service. I mean, so, I mean, the last time I had tea was in London. Oh, no kidding. Because that's what you do when you go to lunch. Sure, you have tea. But I have heard about the tea service. service here at the Peninsula. I've been here for massages. Oh, yes?

And staycations. It's a beautiful hotel, but I've never had to stay. What's a staycation? It's when you live in the city and you decide you want to, like, stay in a hotel for a few nights. I've never done that. Staycation. No. New York's a great place for stay patient.

I bet it is. Yes. And sweetheart, where do you live? I live in Encino. Oh, that's pretty, isn't it? So, yeah, it's very nice. I used to live in Los Phila's, which I loved. I feel like a lot of New Yorkers when they come in to L.A. for the first time,

gravitate toward the east side. So I was in Cincinnati. Little Lake and those villas. But yeah, now I have children, so I've moved to two. How many children? Two. And how old are they? They're four and six.

No. Yes. I know. I'm exhausted. But is it the, oh, honey, that's amazing. Thank you. Thank you. You have kids, right?

I have three. But 34, 28, 21. Do you have grandkids? No. Okay. No. No. No grandchildren yet.

Do you want grandkids? Oh, but love it. Yeah. But there's no pressure. No. No. Oh, no. Not pressure me.

Okay. God no. Because I, my mother-in-law, she was like, let's get to it. Like, let's go. Isn't that something? Oh, she loves grandkids. She's very happy right now. That's wonderful.

Yeah. What are their names? Beckett and Sullivan. No, those are beautiful. Very strong, unusual names. Two boys. Two boys, yeah. Say the names again?

Beckett is my older son, Beckett. That is a gorgeous name. Isn't that great? Yes. People ask me if he's named after Samuel Beckett, who is actually one of my least favorite playwright. So the answer is no. I just like the name Beckett.

And then Sullivan. Beautiful. It's named after one of my favorite streets in New York. Sullivan Street. Yeah. Yeah, that's Chelsea, right? Yeah, well, at the village, yeah. Oh, in the village.

And one of my favorite counting crow songs, Sullivan Street. So, yeah, they're my boys. Beautiful. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. My goodness. You recommend, eh? Yes, it's part of the experience.

One glass is in food. I'm so excited for you. I don't drink. I'm just having some cider. Are you, sweetheart? Thank you. I'll have a sip of this. Yeah.

You don't drink. I don't. I stopped a few years after having kids. Oh, that was smart of you. Yeah, I tried for a little while, and it just became a little overwhelming for me. Yeah. Yeah, so I was like, I just feel like,

it's my energy levels are so much better when I'm not drinking. Good for you. I do miss it. And weekends, you can't do it because the kids are still there. They don't go away. That's right. I was just saying, you know, being on Modern Family for 11 years, I was a dad on the show. Was it 11 years?

Can you believe it? Thank you, honey. Thank you so much. Thank you. I was a dad on the show and I feel like I got a lot of training to be a parent on the show. But the thing that people ask me if being on modern family prepared me for being a dad. And I was like, well, you know, when you have babies on the set and they're fussy, literally someone comes in and takes the children away

and brings you sometimes a twin like they like switch them out that does not happen in real life which is you know you just got to deal with that one happened well that's so interesting we had twins for the first few years of our family that's been my experience too and how did that work well they actually hated being there they were such lovely little girls and they had such a great time

offsets jaden and ella were their names are their names. And then they'd come on set and it's like the moment they saw the set, they just got really collicky and fussy and it was kind of heartbreaking

because, you know, they just... You feel like, what are they doing? Torturing children? Exactly. I used to worry about that terribly. And, you know, now being a dad, it's like, my God, I mean, I'm so happy that the parents let us work with our kids because, you know, we needed that

and they were actually so lovely off-set. And, you know, we got what we needed from them. But we basically fired them. Like, they didn't get invited back after the second season. And then the girl, Aubrey Anderson, and then she played my daughter for the rest of the run, started in season three. And she was happy enough with it. Yeah. Good.

Good. Good. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Anne and I discuss what advice we would give to up-and-coming actors. Okay, be right back.

And we're back with more dinners on me. I mean, I think it's, listen, if I, if I meet someone who wants to be an actor or really do anything in this business, I always say, is there anything else you want to do? And if the answer's no and, like, they desperately want to be an actor, then I said, then do it. But like, if there's anything else, I mean, if you don't desperately want this, I feel like you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. And I don't want to discourage anyone from trying to live a dream. but like it's it's something that you really desperately have to do. So I deeply resonate with you saying and there's a deep love for being an actor.

I would say too rather than desperate because that tends toward the negative, keeping it more in the positive. It's a love story you're keeping alive. And if someone wants to be an actor, I don't mean, my daughter's an actress. Okay. It never occurred to me to question her.

And I don't question others because they're going to learn so quickly whether they can do it or not. Yeah, that's true. they can take the rejection. Yeah. Because I remember working with an actress. I was kind of jealous of her, too.

She was very talented. I don't remember her name, unfortunately. Just tell you that. Merrill Streep. Yeah, that one. Who was extremely, she was very good at auditioning, got roles and was talented. It was good to me.

I thought, that's the, well, she got rejection on two things in reviews. Or didn't get a job. She quit. Interesting. I think you'll know soon enough. This business teaches you very quickly. You can or you can't. I think it's almost black and white if you have that reserve in you.

How do you deal with rejection or reading things that are not kind about you? Don't read any. Does it ever trickle down? I try not to do this. I've told me I just did a play in New York. Oh, did you love? I did a revival of True. The Robert Morris did on Broadway, not trueicic.

And I was like, I'm not going to read reviews. This is the time I'm not going to do it. And of course I did anyways. You know, people have opinions. Some things are lovely. Some things are not. I always feel like if you listen to the lovely things, you have to also listen to the negative things and vice versa. But I'm not good about just not reading things.

And so, I mean, that's what everyone says. Don't look at them. Things sometimes trickle down to me regardless. And, you know, sometimes I don't want to hear them and I'm going to hear them anyway. Both good and bad. Right. So you're saying you don't, obviously, I don't, I don't, I'm trying not to seek them out. It's a strict rule because even the positive, you focus on something.

It just, I'm too prone to focus this, that I don't read any. And if someone's talking about them, I don't listen. I don't pay any mind. If I wanted to know something that was said, which is unusual, I would ask my husband to check it out. And he would, he would talk to me about it. But in general, because the negative and the positive, the negative, I feel mortified. And it goes right to the place of, it's like that feeling of jealousy where that feeling is so uncomfortable. I want to say, I don't want to be jealous of so-and-so, or I don't want to be crushed because someone said they didn't think I was putting the role.

I'm sure I had plenty of bad reviews. Sure, I did. I'm sure there were plenty, but I, no thank you. In a way, it's like watching why I don't watch because I don't have a comms place. Well, you become your own critic. Well, that's the thing. Exactly. Exactly.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Anne opens up about crippling stage anxiety and a surprising confession about a one-person show that became one of the biggest challenges of her career. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. Can I tell you a story about being present? Yes. I was doing a play on Broadway.

What the heck was the name of it? Ed Harris was in it. He was fantastic. Loved him, by the way. He's a cool guy. He's about to be on Broadway again. He's doing a revival of other desert cities, yes. Okay.

So I was doing this play on Broadway. And the character literally just comes on in the middle of the first act, I think it is, does a very powerful scene. and then leaves. And that's it for the night. And the anxiety about it. Oh, my. That he would have?

That I would have. That I would be emotionally present for where I needed to be to do this scene. Because the director, this to me was a nightmare, had me sitting on stage, huddled in a hump

on the steps of someplace, right there for the audience to see all the time until I had to go on stage. I had to lie there. I'm a pacer. I want the hallway. Right, right, right.

Don't talk to me or bother me. I'll get to where I need to go, but I need that hallway. I understand that, yeah. And you had to instead. Riley, on the stage. On the stage. So the anxiety created over time, can I do it? Yeah.

Because who she was came to me, and usually you've got to work on your text. You have to do script analysis. It's important to do that. Who am I telling? No matter how often you've done it, you've got to figure out what am I doing, what's in my way, and what am I going to do to get what I want? Those basic questions. We do them automatically.

Well, I just, it was off the charts. And I would wake up in the night, I would say to my husband, I can't do it. I can't go one more night. And he said, just breathe. So out of sheer desperation, which is the place I was in, I learned to meditate. And I cannot tell you, strongly enough, the effect that had on me. Did you meditate on stage? Or do you meditate separately?

At home. At home. I learned how to do it. I lay flat on my back, knees up, follow the breath. Not judge, but if the new thoughts come in, they would. You just say, okay, thinking about such and stuff. Let me go back to bed. Gentle, gentle.

It took two weeks of, I did it for 20 minutes a day. That's it. Is this transit of the meditation? It's just, I don't know if it is. It's just, it's kind of general meditation, meaning you follow the breath. You don't try to control the breath. You just literally follow it. Whatever the thoughts come in.

You let them come in. That's it, exactly. You don't judge yourself. It's just a done. Two weeks into it, okay, and I'm not exaggerating, I would have moments where I was present, and they were so incredibly powerful. Jesse, I don't know how to describe this.

I'd be sitting on the balcony, just sitting in a chair, looking at a brick, and I wouldn't have changed. one second, being present. I would have times walking down the street when suddenly presents would happen. It was like being at an amusement park of heaven. There was nothing you would change, and everything felt that you could solve it.

Everything was possible in this moment. And I had a few nights on stage of that, but the fact that I could get myself there before going on stage, and during the day meant hell was behind me. Right. And why did I not keep it up?

Have you stopped it? Yes. It's always there for you. That's it, but following the breath now, the anxiety will pop up. No, I'm going to do it. I swear if it's the last thing I do. Right.

But, oh, they're not exaggerating about what happens when you're in the present moment. I know. I've gotten also fallen off my meditation. I was doing it for a while. Really? Yeah. And I was in my much,

happier person when I was meditating absolutely. Oh, wow. How long did you do it for? I was doing a pretty good job of it for like at least six to eight months. Wow. And for me, it would always be hard for me to wake up. And then I was meant to, my practice was asking me that I would meditate first thing in the morning.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then again, in the early afternoon. And I would have a hard time waking up and then kind of asking my body to calm down immediately. I see. So I wasn't doing a great job of like sitting in that. I understand. My mind would be going about things I needed to do for the day.

But I know that I felt better and I feel like, I know it's there for me. Yes, it's there for me. That's really what I want to focus on very badly. I would love to be able to go back to that. Do you think you would ever want to be on stage again? Okay, I'm going to tell you something else. I can't believe I'm telling you. Tell me.

I love a scoop. I did a one-person show at the Armour. Yes. Written and directed by Robert Ike. Incredible. Rob Ike. Genius. Yes.

Hands down. Brilliant. Kind. I've never gotten close to it to a director in my life. Over time, we worked for months together. He was in England. He would rewrite. What was the name of the show?

Oh, Ipsen. I'm... I'm... Okay. Oh my God. But it was a one-person version of this. Yes, six characters. Okay.

Oh, I can't believe I can't take it the name. At the Armory. At the Armory, sweetheart. I love that you can't remember it. I love that. Do you believe that? I actually love that. I think it's terrible.

The title was not important. It was like you were busy enough with the six characters. And I've never had a time of rehearsal. Enemy of People? That's it. Oh, you did Enemy of the People? Yes. When did you do this?

I did this probably five years ago. Oh, my, how did I miss this? I don't know, but it was an extraordinary experience. And he was, I can't say enough about him. To this day, a dear friend, and I would do anything to work with him. Brilliant. And he was like my family, family to me. Well, he went back to England, and I don't know how to put it.

The anxiety got to be so much to come on and be by myself in the armory, which is vast. Huge. It's huge. And everybody was on. a screen. I mean, everybody had a screen. I was on the screen. Huge billboard of me so that those sitting so and so

and so where could see. Oh, how interesting. But that's very lonely because you're not looking I've done two one person shows. You have? It's very lonely. Amazing. Yeah. I miss very lonely. I have to have glass water. Oh, that's so, first of all,

that plays so great. I can't believe I missed this. Well, listen to this. I had to stop. before the run ended because I could not. I would be moaning, I can't be able to tell you this, throughout the day the anxiety would be so profound. And I realized I can't go on. So I had to end it, and I say had to,

because I was at my woods end before it ended. And Rob was nothing but kind and gracious about all of it. But I've not done a play since. So you had almost like an extended panic attack. And so now the. idea of going into on the theater, into, back on the stage. Um, terrifies me and it's something that I love so deeply, so deeply and miss.

So I'm not shutting the door. You need to do an ensemble. You need to not do a 5% show. That's right. You need to be in the Greek chorus. Yeah. Yeah. And being, whatever.

Uh, but that was an extraordinary experience. And it really, uh, affected me. I don't know how I can say it. I have a few friends who have had similar experiences on stage, and it's one of them definitely went back and conquered that fear. That's beautiful. But other people haven't. I've heard this from other people. I relate very much to that.

Just having done this one person's show is true. That's amazing. What did you do? It's called True. Oh, yes. That's True McCopo. And then the other play I did was called Fully Committed. Beautiful reviews.

It was very well thought of. I remember hearing about it. about it. Yes, yes, yes. They were very kind, but I played about 40 different characters, and it was all very rapid fire. What scared me about it is I would have to learn the text so, I had to have it, have it so deeply engraved in my head that I would be able to, my mouth would be able to do the text, and I'd be able to be thinking about, what's that person in the audience doing, what's this person to do? What am I going to have for dinner after? And that scared me. Yeah, no shit. Well, how did you handle that?

I would have to pull myself out of it, but it started happening more and more as the end of it. Where your brain would go elsewhere? My brain would go elsewhere. My mouth would keep going. That's what I experienced. I found that terrifying. Terrifying. Like you go into your head somewhere where you're not present.

It's like when you're running downstairs, if you start thinking about running down the stairs, are going to fall. Yeah, you know what I mean? That's what it felt like. Yes, yes. That's a good example. Yeah.

When you look at your career so far, because there's more to come. Thank you. Whether or not you say so or not, there is. I appreciate that very much. Thank you. Is there something that, you sort of look at is like something that you're most proud of or that you feel like embodies

what you do best or do you look at your work that way? No, the way I would say what I would say if I would look back and find something positive to say about it is that just what we talked about keeping the love story alive, joy, the presence of joy in the work. To me that's just a way in and I've been able to keep that. So it's very interesting that anxiety is knocking on the door a little. I'm like, no, no, I prefer the joy, thank you very much. But it's that. No matter what the role, each experience, I'm sure there were a few that were not,

but by and large I felt very fortunate with the people I worked with, the roles I got to play, the variety of them. the people I worked with, I just, oh. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, does that make sense? It does make sense. I also want to ask, you know, it's a very unusual thing that you get to play a character, take a little hiatus from that character, come back to that character, and then sort of continue on.

And, I mean, do you ever find that Aunt Lydia affects you in ways that are negative? I mean, just because of how heavy it can be sometimes. I know, you know, you aren't meant to judge these characters. You know that, of course. Of course you do. Yeah, of course. But, like, I think that there is awareness of like, I know, it's tricky. I'm interested in just knowing if she ever infiltrates you.

That's really interesting. I used to be asked that question, you know, how do you go there? Right. And is it difficult? Well, that part's fine. Right? I find. I love going there. Well, in the beginning, I thought, is it hard to, you know, find your way back? And I'd be like, hmm. And then I thought, well, I'll just be quiet about that.

Right. But after a while, I finally said, no, I can't get there fast enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with that. It's fun. That's a fun part. It's, it's, that's exactly. To hack down and be horrible or, you know, whatever version of horrible is to other people. But to, um, so that it affected me negatively. I don't think so. Yeah.

I learned things from her. I learned things that I should have known already about a work ethic, that you're not special. You're there to do a job, do it to its completion. Don't for a moment think you are special and not going to do the job you have for the best of your ability.

It's keeping that framework, which I like, that frame of mind. I appreciate. And she's very strong, I would say, as a person and so I appreciate that when I'm scared because I have that to

go back to, to speak to. Come on. I've had conversations for there. Help me out here a little bit. I always feel people would make fun of me for saying that. But I really mean that,

you know, having the conversations with. And then when masks, we were talking about mass and the generosity of character. It's such a pleasure talking to you. It's such a pleasure. It reminds me

of those things. I want to thank you for that. Thank you, Anne. Because that doesn't happen all the time. And now I have goosebumps talking to you. And I mean it. Thank you. That was a little more from my conversation with Ann Dowd.

If you haven't heard our full conversation yet, make sure to check it out on Dinners on Me. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at the Peninsula in Beverly Hills. Next week on Dinner's On Me, you know him from Netflix's Queer Eye and Next in Fashion. It's Tan France. We'll get into what it was like to become a queer public figure overnight, how he handles being married to a type B personality, and his secret to his beautiful, youthful glow.

Spoiler alert, it involves yogurt. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode.

Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasni and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.