Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Soledad O'Brien

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Peabody and Emmy award-winning journalist Soledad O’Brien joins the show. Over burgers and shakes, we discuss her impressive reporting career, earning accolades for her coverage of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. Plus, we get her take on why cases of Black missing men and women don’t get enough attention in the U.S., objectivity in journalism, and the state of the Republican party. This episode of Dinner’s On Me was recorded at Harlem Shake in Harlem, NYC. Want next week’s episode now? Subscribe to Dinner’s on Me PLUS. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, but you’ll also be able to listen completely ad-free! Just click “Try Free” at the top of the Dinner’s on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show, journalist, producer and activist, Soledado Bryant. My mom and dad got married in 1958. Interracial marriage was illegal in Maryland where they lived. And it wasn't until my little brother, six kids was born, that the Supreme Court would overturn the ban on interracial marriage. And I just think we're young people. I think they think of that as long ago.

And I'm like, when I was born, my parents' marriage was illegal. This is Denner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's always interesting to meet someone I recognize from TV, who's their covering, like, the most important moments of our lives. There's this familiar feeling with them, but I also don't know them. I guess people might feel that same way about actors, but we're not being ourselves, we're characters, and Soledad O'Brien is very much herself, both in person and when

she's working. She's unabashedly opinionated, she's smart, and she's incredibly witty. I mean she's the only person so far in the show that I actually don't know personally, which can be intimidating, but also exciting for me because I respect her so much, and I have so many questions about her impressive career spanning multiple TV networks. It was fascinating, but also encouraging to see someone who has continued to evolve in their field. She's wearing so many hats. She's still reporting and hosting,

but she's also producing important documentaries with her own production company. It's funny to do interviews with someone who's known for interviewing other people. She made me feel so comfortable, and I don't know, I'm so glad I can call her a friend now. Ah, yeah. You're so good.

We met up in Harlem at the diner, Harlem Shake, just moments before a thunderstorm. She's a recent Harlem resident, and I thought, why not grab some burgers and shakes? The walls here are covered by all these notable diners who have been there, and they were gracious enough to ask us to sign headshots to add to the wall. Alright, let's get to the conversation. I'm so glad you're doing this, Fib.

I am so happy and I love anything that's like geographically desirable. I know, right? Oh, I just have to take a shower and walk down the street. I'm going to do that. Yes, so you've looked and startled them how long? Oh gosh, hardly at all. Not even two years. We moved in November 15th of 2021.

OK. But we have loved it here and left Chelsea. And it's been great. I love it. How are your kids now? Old. My boys, I've twin boys, they're the youngest. They're 19.

Are they off the college? No, not yet. They redid ninth grade because, of course, COVID. They learned nothing the first go round. So put them in again. And they actually really needed it. Boys, this is said with tremendous respect. Boys are like, so low.

I have two boys. So low, I think. Girls are like, boys, they need more cooking. You know, you're like, maybe we shouldn't hit your brother over the head. No, maybe we shouldn't drive that, you know, that truck into the wall. Girls are always jumping ahead, trying to figure things out.

So I think they really, they love, they were going to high are always jumping ahead trying to figure things out. So I think they really they love they were They were going to high school so they got to restart. They did ninth grade in middle school And then they had the option in high school to do ninth 10th 11th 12th So they basically just started up with their class So they're 19 and then my two daughters are 21 and 22 about to be 23 are you're too 20 on that are living with They're the only well, you know, they they old they never leave The podcast they never really leave I mean especially if you live in New York City right so this year

Cecilia was doing a little traveling in Europe and I had four of her friends just staying in our apartment Yeah, and my niece just got a new job her friends just staying in our apartment. And my niece just got a new job. So she was staying in our apartment. So we had just tons of people living with us. Which was great. Which was really, really fun. And then we wanted to host non-profit events. So I run a little tiny foundation. We have a lot of friends. We do a really fun speed dating event with CEOs of color. Just all come over to my house and they do speed dating event with CEOs of color. Oh, interesting. Just all come over to my house and they do speed dating with these other young women kind of in the neighborhood or all over in Manhattan. It's really great.

And so I kind of love the idea of not having to do it in Midtown, at JP Morgan Chase, but you should be able to be in a house in Harlem in their neighborhood. It's really fun. So we've started hosting event and then I told people like if you have a nonprofit event that's the smallest. Yeah, come on over.

You know, it's come on over. We'll host it here. You have an event space. Yeah, it's, and we do. It's really kind of fun. Did you, are you hungry? I would like a drink. I'm thirsty.

I'm thirsty. You know, I've never eaten here and I've walked past it 50 million times. I know, I'm so excited. Why am I not eating here before? Never, I have never eaten here. Not've walked past it 50 million times. I know I'm so excited. Why am I not eating here before? Never. I have never eaten here. Not funny. I need a cocktail for sure or at least a glass of wine. And then what is the thing everybody orders at Harlem Shake? If you're looking for something kind of special, we have our fantastic frozen. Oh. Nothing like it. You know what, I actually, I came in so gung ho

on having a cocktail, but I don't think you can do a milkshake in a ca- I think that's- That's our two- There are no rules. You were the first person who has made that rule. I don't know, I feel like that's a good, you know, they, what do they say, beer, not want, whatever the water is.

I can't be full liquor. So what do you mean? It's in that vein, I probably should have a frozen thing. I think so. And then I'm gonna have the chickenlem classic. Okay, with beef or impossible. Beef. And do you want everything on it? I'm gonna take everything on it, yeah. Okay. Can we do the curly fries with Chipotle mayo? Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Are you good food shareer or not? Oh, yeah. Oh, you are good. Me too. Okay, so curly fries. Unless it's dessert. I will try the Harlem shake. Thank you.

I'm gonna do the Harlem shake. Okay, so, I'm gonna do the Harlem classic. Okay, with beef or impossible. Beef. And do you want everything on it? I'm gonna take everything on Oh, yeah. Oh, you are good. Me too. Yeah. And I will try the Harlem Shake. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Appreciate it. I have been such a fan of yours for so long. Oh, thank you. And it's so surreal sitting in front of someone that I've watched, like, deliver so much news and content to me. So that's really cool for me. And I know that you've been very outspoken on specifically social media, which I love so much.

And, you know, it's a crazy time though, right? It is a crazy time and I feel like it's a time to. And I'd have to put a bit of a depressing time, really. Sure, but it's also a time to speak up. And I think, you know, well, it's not for me, how old are you? I'll be 48 soon. So I'm gonna be 57 next week, two weeks.

Oh, I've heard that. Thank you. And I love my birthday. Are you really broke? I've ever go. Oh, I've ever go, okay. Titely wound, highly neurotic. One thing I love about getting older

is that anxiety around speaking up, like is this the moment? Should I, I don't know, I'm so young, I don't know everybody, what if I'm, you bridges, making people out of you going away, right? It just doesn't matter as much. And it's so freeing. It's been really fun actually. Do you think it's age that does that? Or do you think it's also experience and stability in your own career that allows you to do that? I think it that. A little bit of everything. I think it's probably a little bit of everything years ago.

I remember I used to be very frustrated chronically with Meet the Press because the host to meet the press at the time never asked a follow-up. I mean, it became a punchline joke. He just would never ask a follow-up. Literally, someone could admit to killing another human being. And he would just move on to the next question. Moving on.

I used to, you know, tweet about it. Like, I can't believe in this interview, he could have done this and this. And a friend of mine said, you know, you are so right. But you know what, I really enjoy being on Meet the Press. I'm just not going to say anything. And I remember thinking, this is probably early 2015, 2016, because it really coincided with a lot of the egregious media behavior around the Trump coverage. And I just remember thinking, like, wow, I have so much clarity that I have zero interests

in being on Meet the Press or anything else. If it means just ditching these values that I have, it was so clear. And I always love a clear thing. I just thought, wow, that is so sad. And he said it very clear. I like to be on Meet the Press. I just don't want to risk is so sad. And he said it very clear, I like to be on Meet the Press. I just don't want to risk. I would never say anything about that

show because I don't want to risk nothing on. Being invited back. You know, not boy, you're wrong. The show is great or boy, you're wrong. I think that was a good question. Just, do you realize what you're risking by saying something? And it was so nice to really not give up lying a clue about it. You know, I know that part of the job description is that you are meant to be very neutral and you're meant to help inform the public without too much opinion one way or the other. But we're also all humans who have feelings about these things. I mean, I want, I remember anderson argue about marriage equality with people and it's like

he has such an invested interest and you really want anderson cooper to pretend like oh i have no dog in the fight i always have such a struggle around this idea of objectivity i think there's some topics where we like to pretend like i we're not sure and and i i think that's false because I don't think reporters really feel that way. I think they're actually just not telling you.

I would much rather have someone say to me, here's how I feel, but at the end of this interview, it really changed, or I'm gonna push back hard because that was not my experience. A lot of that for me comes around reporting on policing. This idea of like, well, you gotta be objective about policing while at the same time. And I was one of the reporters who used to say, of that for me comes around reporting on policing. This idea of like we got to be objective about policing while at the same time and I was one of the reporters who used to say, oh, the police

have released a statement on the shooting. Hang on, let me type this word for word what they said. Yeah. That in my script. Yeah. Police say a man approximately five foot eleven. Yeah. Black man between the ages of 30 and 35 was found, but I don't know. We never acted as if they had a vested interest in the story. In fact, they were part of the story. Right. It was always the voice of God telling you. And then you would learn later that some of that was not only just a wrong, but it was

intentionally wrong at times. Right. How if something went down was absolute bullshit at times. And so I think we've been slow to this idea of like, well, we want to be objective, but we're going to quote the police, you know, or shouldn't they just be a party to the conversation? Should they just be a piece of, here's what they say, here's what this lady across the street says, here's what this person says. I think it's changing, but I think this idea of,

I don't want Anderson Cooper to pretend like he doesn't give a shit about marriage equality when he does. When he got so much slack I don't remember this. I think it was when he was covering the hurricanes and what you were all so over there as well. And you're showing emotion and like God. People loved him for that.

And he was, people were dead. And we would step over dead bodies. It was the craziest thing. And he was like, this is New Orleans. This is like major city. And there's a guy who's been dead on the street that suddenly someone finally has covered him up with tarp. But he was there two days ago.

And I'm back again doing my live shot. Someone should be outraged about that. That's not normal. Right, right. How is the frosay? Oh my God, this is the greatest thing ever. Who's been keeping this from me? I mean, honestly, all of America has been drinking this

for so long. I didn't realize it was so sweet and like, it's delicious. I thought it was just really cold. You know, my mother-in-law put ice cubes in her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my mom too, yeah. I thought it was that. Yeah.

Someone's like crunching a ice cube. No, it's like, it's delicious. It's delicious. It's like a margarita. Margarita, Jose. I thought it was that. Like someone's like crunching a bicecups. No, it's like, it's delicious. It's like a margarita. Margarita, frosa. I love it. I love it, you love it. By the way, cheers.

Cheers to you. I might have to have a sip of that. Please, this milkshake is so intense. It has red velvet crumbs all over the top of it. It's good. It's delicious. It's got a headache. Brain freeze.

We both have brain freeze. I thought they had to do that. First of all, I feel like things have shifted. I feel like news reporters are a little bit more, I guess, brave about calling out things when they're just not true. I mean, obviously we've been faced with so many lies in the media in the past, you know, five, six years,

like more so than ever. But, you know, I also come from a time when, and you as well, like, when, six years, like more so than ever. But, you know, I also come from a time when, and you as well, like, when, you know, there was three networks that showed that the evening news. And like, I would be in my bedroom and I hear bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb. I knew my parents were watching the evening news. And it was something that they sat in front of for like an hour, an hour and a half, and then it was over for the day.

For the day. It was never ends. And now it's It never ends. And now it's just never ends. I'm on this constant stream, you know, to not have context behind that as well is actually super dangerous. You know, you can't just have this non-stop stream of information without context and without faces and feelings and stories behind them.

And that's why I think some of the stories that you have done are so wonderful because they are important stories, but we're talking about the people who are behind these stories we do a show called matter of fact which is a syndicated show that we co-produced with her's t-vets in local markets all over the country and one thing i liked about that show when they first proposed it was this idea of we're gonna talk about how policy lands on people we're not gonna have

feuding congressman we're gonna cut out the middleman so if you want to talk about how policy lands on people. We're not going to have feuding congressmen. We're going to cut out the middleman. So if you want to talk about homeless moms, let's go find some. Yeah. And we'll sit down with them and we'll talk to them. And they don't have to agree, but we're going to actually understand what's happening to them

by going right to the horse's mouth, so to speak. Because I do think in an environment where the news never ends and where people like to do these fact checks but they've also just elevated a person they'll be like fact check not true you're like why did you give him six and a half minutes right you literally just platformed person harm is already died and by the way with social media their show which will get two hundred fifty thousand viewers

that's actually going to be all chopped up and edited for social media which is going to get far more eyeballs and drive more traffic. And no one's gonna care about the fact-check. So I think sometimes we haven't kept up with how the medium is really being used and exploited. I think it's a mistake to platform people. People would say to me, well, you wouldn't let Donald Trump

talk and I'm like, well, you don't have to give someone a microphone if they're consistently make stuff up. You, there's no rule that says, oh, yeah, page 17. Gotta give them a live mic. We have a goal of informing our viewers. We kind of owe it to them to not have to go back later and say, but sir, that's wrong. That's a lie.

That didn't happen. We have to come up with a better strategy for helping people, because I think a lot of people are just confused. And of course, again, I think a lot of people are just confused. And of course, again, you elevate a lot of things and then you like to point out that it's not really true. And social media has really done that, I think, very well. We say something and it's like, she was abducted by aliens.

No one thinks it's accurate, but this woman claims blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like, right, well, it's just not- Why are we talking about that? We don't put flat earthers on every time we do a story about NASA. Like, let's check in with Steve. He's a flat earther, Steve. NASA says they're going to explore the moon.

They just named a bunch of astronauts, too. Do you have anything you want to add? Because we want to get balance. You don't. You say these people are experts. We're going to talk to experts. And anybody who's gonna come to us, if we wanna do a story on flat earthers,

we're gonna make it really clear and we're gonna think very carefully about the way in which we elevate what they're saying. So that people get what we're trying to do. There's context behind it. Absolutely. Right, right. Now for a quick break, but don't go away.

When we come back, we'll get into the state of the Republican Party, her parents' interracial marriage and amazing love story, and the misunderstood history of Rose of Parks. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. I mean, I'm just a big fan of transparency and not creating narratives. That's how good and heroic, but aren't actually accurate.

So Rosa Parks would constantly tell journalists who would say, you know, Rosa Parks was tired, you know, it was the end of a day and Rosa Parks was tired. And'd be like, oh no, no, I was no more tired than I was any other day. I was tired of being pushed around. It's a very different kind of tired, right? She's like, I'm tired of racism. I wasn't tired for my seamstress job. And she would say it all the time. And reporters would kind of ignore it because they liked this other narrative of just this lone elderly lady, she was 40, elderly lady, one day at the end of her job, just couldn't get up elderly lady she was 40, elderly lady one day at the end of her job just couldn't get up and she's like it's just not true.

It's kind of funny how many times she tried to set the record straight and sort of shift the narrative back to there was this very strategic intentional fight to be sick and over racism and they were gonna fight it. You know, it wasn't one day, this one person did it. So, I think you have to just constantly reframe the narrative with like, this didn't used to be this way and this is what happened, this is how it happened. I mean, you were born into a family, your parents, when you were born, it was illegal for them to be married.

People don't ever, like college students when I tell them that. That my mom and dad got married in 1958. Interracial marriage was illegal in Maryland where they lived. They drove to D.C. and got hitched and drove back to Baltimore and lived illegally. And it wasn't until my little brother. So that was a six, I would know her five. Six kids was born that the Supreme Court would overturn the ban on interracial marriage. And I just think we're young people.

I think they think of that as long ago. And I'm like, when I was born, my parents' marriage was illegal. My parents could not buy a house in Long Island without extraordinary measures because people would not sell to them. Right. When you were young, did you sense that there was any time that they were hiding who they really were from anyone? No, I don't think I ever felt that way, although it's always hard because

you don't have anything really to carry. There's no context. I mean, sure as kids, you don't really look at that way. I think my parents were very happy with, you know, my dad was Australian. All my relatives were in Australia. My mom was Australian. All my relatives were in Australia. My mom was Cuban. All my relatives were in Cuba. So we didn't have, like most of my friends had relatives around and stories and we had us. We just had us, oh, the food is coming.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We have a side of origin, Chipotle meal. That looks so good. Which, you got to do it. Thanks. This one's mine, right? Yeah, that's you.

This is me. This looks gorgeous. This looks so good. I'm not gonna have to take a picture of it. Dude, these things together. So I think they both wanted to protect us and wanted to inform us. Right, it's a weird thing.

You don't want to make your kids miserable about like America's amazing. And life is great, and you have, you're poised to have a zillion great opportunities. So, but you also want to be realistic about what life is gonna be like. And I think that sometimes is a hard, road a hoe as they say, right?

How do you tell them like this is how it is, but not depress them and make them sad and unhappy? Right. I think that's the charm. I mean I guess I'm selfishly sort of I'm interested in this conversation for myself too. I mean I'm a part of a same-sex couple and I have two kids. My oldest son is three now. My younger one's only ten months but like you know when Justin and I first got married, marriage equality was not legal across all 50 states. We were still fighting But when Justin and I first got married, marriage equality was not legal across all 50 states.

We were still fighting state by state by state. Propositionate had just been overturned. So we were living in a time when people were married and then that was reversed. So we always think about how are we gonna discuss our lives and our love story with our children when it's time for that to happen. Right and do you make a big deal of it like some people couldn't get married. Right right. Or do you say isn't it

great? People now can get married and how do you frame for them so that they're both optimistic and you know for looking kids especially I think for children. But don't let them forget like actually there was a big fight over it a lot of You know, for looking kids, especially, I think, for children. But don't let them forget, like, actually, there was a big fight over it. A lot of people risked a lot of stuff. It didn't just happen. People didn't one day say, you know what? Oh my God.

We should totally give gay people the right to get married. It was a fight. If you look at now, the abortion rights discussion, argument slash fight, right? Like, I think a lot of people just kind of took for granted. It's always been this way. Having access to birth control. Well, guess what? That's not always necessarily an indication

that's gonna stay. And if you don't speak up about it, you don't fight for it. You might find yourself not realizing how much work it took to get there. Sure, sure. I was so moved by your parents love story. Oh, I love being married. Like I, Justin is a great husband. I love being married to him. We've been married. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary. Oh my gosh. That's a nice one. And I saw that your parents were

married for almost 60 years. Was it? But what really moved me is death before divorce. I know. I used to say that's a charming little family phrase. Death before divorce. Yeah,. That's what they used to say. That's a charming little family phrase. Death before divorce. Yeah, put that on a pillow. Justin and I have this piece of art in our bedroom called The Lovers, and it's matching heartbeats. And then at the end, they both flatline at the same time. And when I heard that your parents died within 40 days of one another, I know that was crazy. I mean I'm, first of all, I'm so sorry,

I must have had a really difficult time, but there's also something. It is, it's lovely. They leap around. It is so true. They really did. And my mom was, she had dementia, so it was a very weird, you know, she was,

she used to call me, my dad died first. And she would call me and say, in the middle of the night, lovey, lovey. I'd say, oh my god, mom, everything OK. Lovey, did you hear your father died? I was like, I was there at the funeral, remember? So it was just messy. It was just so much in dementia that so sad and also just

so hilariously absurd because it's crazy. But yeah, they just really live for each other. I spent a lot of my time with my dad because he was healthier than my mom at the end. To like, my dad, you should go out. I would take him to theater. I would take him like, you live in New York City. We can do these things.

You can get around. My mom was in a wheelchair, and she couldn't move by then. And she was in and out of it. Just dementia is horrible. And he just wouldn't want to leave anywhere. And I was out of it. You know, just dementia is horrible. And, you know, and he just wouldn't want to leave anywhere. And I was just like, I used to tell my husband to this day, like keep living. Yeah.

Even if I'm sitting there telling you, please don't leave me. And she would say, Ted, please don't leave me. I mean, like, mom, we're just gonna get some dinner. Yeah. Oh, please, Ted, please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Oh, it was such a heartbreak, right when he died.

Because I literally sat in bed with them and my dad said, Estella, I just don't think I can do it anymore. I don't think I can make it anymore. Like he literally was trying to stay alive because he took care of her, you know? It was really was a great love story. They had a very respectful sense of each other.

Like they didn't speak badly of each other. I think if I had to look back, like what made it all work was, they just liked each other and then they respected each other. You know, I know so many couples who are just like, snitty or bitchy to each other or someone's the butt of the joke or they love the cutting remark, they like embarrassing the person and my parents were nothing like that. My mother used to say all the time, I love your father the most and then all the rest

of you equally, which I think was a lie. I think my brothers were at the top of the kid list. But you know, like I think they had very clear sense of themselves as a couple and that a very strong couple would raise healthy kids. And also like to start their relationship in a time where like they sort of had to fight for themselves. They were in. I mean I said that's something I certainly relate to as being a, you know, someone

I have a half of a gay couple and having to like, fight for the right to get married. And, you know, because that word meant something to me. It wasn't enough for me to be domestic partners with him. I wanted to be married, because that's like, a universal term. Everyone knows what it is to be married. And so, to-

I find it so funny too that people protect this idea of marriage, right? You're like, let's take a moment and go through the statistics. Right. What do we protect? It's such a, you would think that- Or that a straight couple can get married

after meeting each other for five minutes in Vegas, but like- Absolutely. And also get divorced or annulled when the next 48 hours is not a- Exactly, yeah. And here we are fighting just to get married. You know, it's marriage, it's very, you know, and you're like,

I don't know. Yeah. That's the kind of again. It's just, sometimes these fights aren't what people claim they're about ever really. Yeah. Um, yeah, I spoke a little bit. I'm friendly with Anderson and I remember watching him. I think it was like maybe when he was covering the crisis in Syria and I remember watching

him on TV and just watching where he was, watching all this stuff happening around him in live time and just being so intensely scared for him. Talk to me a little bit about it, so you've covered quite a few really significant moments in the middle. You're not afraid. Yeah, I'm thinking specifically about the earthquake and Haiti.

No, everything went so, like, no, it's so weird. It's so weird. Literally, in aftershocks. It's so weird because for me, I was never afraid of stuff. I do a lot of horseback riding. Yeah. I went to our show today. I wasn't feeling it.

I kind of chickened out. Yeah. I didn't want to do it. I'm so afraid all the time. I have to be talked into jumping and things like that. Yeah. And I've been on shoots where people are shooting at me. We did a shoot with a story in Chile during an earthquake

where they were looting everything. My Spanish is more like Spanish, so I'm running after people trying to ask some questions in my Spanish, and they would turn around and say something in Spanish, and I was like, turn to my producer Rose, like, what did he say? She says, he says, if you keep asking him questions, he's going to kill you. Oh my God. Gracias, losian, tojo. But, you know, I was never afraid for some reason.

Like, tell me I have to go over jump on a horse. That's just low. I'm like, I don't know if I can do it. So, I don't know. I really felt like I never went into dangerous places. Occasionally, yes, something terrible will happen. But really, I don't go into war zones. I really didn't.

It just wasn't what my kind of reporting. So, I never felt like I was doing anything dangerous. I love traveling. I loved working partly because it was really, you could just be sleep on the plane, be alone, and I had four little kids, and I just felt like I'd never had any alone time, which is when we're going to, must have been Thailand to cover the tsunami. And we were on Singapore Air, which is the greatest airline ever. And the people are so nice. And you're just like, this is amazing. I'm actually covering a disaster. But I'm just like, I'm going to sleep for eight hours.

I'm going to get a little moment to yourself. So part of it was that. I love to work, and I love to travel. And I never like to pick stories by, do I think I can add something if I'm there? Like is it worth traveling? Is it worth missing a lot of stuff? And I think for stories, especially when

race or class was involved, I had done a lot of that work. Like, I was like, yeah, I think I can bring something to this. I remember covering a story, we're covering a 10th anniversary of the killing of John Benet Ramsey. And just sitting there thinking, it was actually a moment of clarity for me of like, I'm in a line with 50 other people,

I do not need to be here. I literally, there's no reason for me to be here. I'm adding nothing, I'm not reporting. None of us are reporting because of course the story's not being reported. We're just standing here doing, you know, rolling live shots. And I really always felt like I was happy to travel

if I could bring something else to the story. When you spoke in your book, you have like a beautiful memoir, I guess you call it. But when you spoke about you having to fight to go to Haiti. Oh my God, that was crazy. And you know, you're at CNN and Anderson's being shipped off. And everybody was being shipped off. I was so mad.

You're begging to go. And how you have to sort of like elbow your way. I thought I was saying, oh my God, someone should better said mommy to Haiti. Yeah, get mom to Haiti. Get mom to Haiti. Because that's, I mean, that was a thing that I loved working at CNN.

Back then, I think we did a lot more, like that kind of international crisis coverage, which much more we did, Katrina think we did a lot more, like that kind of international crisis coverage, which much more we did Katrina, we did Haiti, we did, just what was happening in the tsunami, right? Like back to the Tokyo tsunami as well. You do so many stories that I think, like all the anchors would travel for and make them relevant to like an audience in America today.

But yeah, I think I always felt like I can add something to this story. I think it's a story about a lot of orphans, it's a story about motherhood, it's a story about people of color, it's a story about the history of black people who fought to be free and wouldn't be recognized by the very same people. That we all love in Hamilton, the musical.

Yeah. Those very people are like, no to the Haitians. So, I always feel if there's something that I can add, then I should go. I Wolf Blitzer asked me when I was covering the story in Haiti. He's like, what is it like as a mom? Oh my God, my mother hit the roof. She was so mad at him. My mother loved Wolf Blitzer, but she was just like,

how dare he? You are there and I did. I said, I am as a reporter. Well, I mean, it was such a weird, like, I don't know, I'm not separate from being a woman. When do you think he meant by that? I think he was trying to get me, as an anchor woman who many a time has asked an awkwardly

worded question of people trying to get an answer that I'm thinking making deliver on probably wanted me to talk a little bit about the kids and all these young who are eighties of very very young country and you just saw so many of these like children who were orphans or dying or abandoned so I think he was trying to connect the dots on what it's like to see babies in terrible terrible conditions conditions would be my guess. Right, right.

Boy, my mom was not having it. I love that mom was looking out for you. I would love your take on this. You know, my parents were both Republicans growing up. My mom, I think just an Albuquerque in New Mexico. And my dad is always mourned. Like, he's like, I don't recognize myself in their Republican party now. My mom actually might be switching parties which is interesting

you know we are here we are like uh... our former president has been indicted now four times and it's like yet he's still the leading candidate is probably gonna win that you know at the opportunity to run again i mean what do you think that says about where we're at and also the words say the republican party do you think that i think the Lincoln project which does a lot of their all sort of Republicans who are not Trump Republicans, do a pretty good job of kind of talking about where the Republican Party is.

And I think that it's just a bit of a mess because it's not based in a value. I mean, there was a time when you'd be like, Republican Stan for limited government, and you know, make sure you're controlling spending, you wanna make sure there's this and this and this and Democrat stand for this and this and this and I think those days are long gone and I think people have recognized that the way to motivate a voter is with a lot of hate and a lot of racism, it moves people.

You know, we in the newsroom like to talk about it's a culture war and I'm always like, I don't think, you know, we're talking about, should people exist? Should their rights be recognized? Like, that's not a culture war. That makes it sound almost silly. You know, should you be able to be a bigot?

You know, these are not culture war issues, but I think what we've seen politicians do of late, I'm a disantis, I live in Florida in the cold months, and so he's my governor during half the year, I think he's really learned the lesson of like trying to mobilize that angry, rabid, kind of racist rhetoric, it can be very challenging, but it hits reality. You can have a very strong anti-immigrant stance because you think that's going to really work with those angry voters, but in the state of Florida, you actually need immigrants. And you saw this backpedaling by folks saying, no, no, he doesn't really need it. There's just no sense, I think, for

standing for certain values that used to be very clear delineation between the parties. Right. Are your kids excited to vote this year? Yeah. Well, you know, kids nowadays are so smart. Yeah. I really, I mean, if there's anything that's depressing you around elections, just go talk to an 18-year-old. Because they're just so smart. And I think TikTok and as much as I'm not the biggest fan of social media, it's really help them understand issues. There's so much more knowledgeable than I was when I was their age. They just, you know, they really understand politics

in a way that I didn't. So yeah, I think they're really ready to- But information's coming to them in such a different way, I kind of wonder like what would have it would have been like if you had social media when you first started- Oh my god, that would have been a disaster. Because I think all the terrible things you did that no one ever saw, no one watched, no one- I know, I was like the one for me is always YouTube. I'm like if YouTube had run around like the amount of things I would have recorded myself doing.

Oh my god, and then you'd have to spend your life trying to kill it off. To absolutely productions of Phantom of the Opera in my backyard. That I would have recorded myself doing. They all would have lived forever online. Yeah, social media spread, but they're so knowledgeable. I mean, every so often I'll watch my kids around TikTok all the time. People like, what are you doing? Am I so-and-say?

It's a really interesting, doc, short documentary about, you know, how Yugoslavia split. On TikTok? Yes, they. Like, I would not have guessed it. At first, we're like, are they bullshitting us? Or is this really, they actually get a ton of information off of TikTok, off of YouTube. Yes. So, I don't know. I think they're well-educated, and I think they understand.

I think they have more compassion for people than probably I had when I was younger. I think they really, they study it certainly. Underpinnings of homelessness, we never did that. We never, our social studies was not sort of focused on like, current day American problems.

I remember it just being very much like the great migration, not anything that was usable and very non-relatable in a way. I talked to young people and they're just mad. They're mad. They're mad that they can't afford an apartment. They're mad about not being able to work remotely, they're mad about a lot of stuff. That's some shit just seems unfair. I mean, it's also really encouraging to see the next generation, mad and willing to talk about it and want to fight for it.

I mean, you know, and just like bring it a little bit more circle, like, you know, your parents are, I'm sure mad about what was happening to them when they couldn't express their love in the way they wanted to and you know, to be raising children that are still, you know, fighting for things and passing off things. And they have expectations, right? As all we can expect from her. They assume they're like, we just assume we're gonna have access to birth control. We assume we're gonna have access to help care that we need. We assume anybody can marry anybody they want.

We're gonna assume that you get to walk down the street and not be mowed down by gunfire. We assume you get to be safe. We assume that police should be protecting you. We assume, you know, and so I think they have a lot of these assumptions about what America should be. And I do, I think that's really, I think it's really great. I think they're very smart about it in a way. And I'm much more worried about, I was on a panel once with a young woman who told me she wasn't a feminist. And it was, again, in retrospect, I would have handled it differently, because I would have just asked her questions.

But clearly, she was a feminist. Here she is, working, demanding, equal-paid, to her male colleague. You know all these things that are feminism. You know and I I really felt like people who really scare me are the ones who are uninterested, uninvolved, don't care about historical fights that they were involved in and that they benefited from eventually. You know that's every single thing from her head to her Chanel clad toes, where it was something that somebody fought for her to have access to. I'm like, you're sitting on a set that has 50% female anchors that exist

because people demanded it. And they're getting paid the same as the guys that exist because people demanded that shit. And there's actually some diversity here that exists because people demanded this shit for you. That's why you get to be here today. Yeah. So I get mad too. Yeah, I mean kids though, they do not like to be put in a box.

They do not like to be labeled, which also, I mean, there's beauty behind that, but also when someone, it could be terrifying as well. Yeah, she was older, so she was not she was not that young to be a kid, but yeah, I get that. It is interesting, like how do you, for example, my older daughter, Sophia, very white looking kid, looks exactly like her dad.

People used to say to me when she was born, oh my God, it's like Brad butted her off his shoulder. Like, oh, I took, this was a big baby. I was like, oh great. Cecilia, just like me, literally ethnic looking kid. And their friends would be like, well, she's obviously diverse, but you're not. So if you would say, these people's grasp of genetics

is terrible. You know, and so, but it is an interesting question about like, what is identity? How do you see yourself? What do you want to call yourself? That ethnic-looking kid absolutely would not talk about race in any of her college applications. Interesting. I don't know why.

Now for a quick break. When we come back, we continue this conversation on race, talking about the issue of black missing men and women in this country, whose cases often don't get the same attention from law enforcement and the media as their white counterparts. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. They're all these black women and men too, but mostly women who disappear and the law enforcement is not really looking for them. Often people in the neighborhood don't even know that someone disappeared from this location

right here, and the media has no interest in talking about them. One woman was comparing her own niece who disappeared, beautiful young black woman to a very famous story about the young woman who disappeared in Aruba, Natalie Holloway. And she's like, they're exactly the same. Same age, beautiful girls. Like what is the difference? And here is the difference. The difference is my niece is black and this girl is not and and it was a wonderful walkthrough of like the the Americans who are getting on planes to go to a

rubah to look for this young woman the family pleading for help I mean amazing amazing but everybody should have that right really the story kind of got legs when that young woman disappeared, and I guess her boyfriend was implicated in her killing. Remember, they were in a van together, Gabby Petito, and one of the reasons that all of this really started for this project for us was that they kept finding bodies who were not gatti. And people were like, who is this person that's missing?

We didn't even know they were missing, and now the police have found their body. And I think the dad who was so devastated by his own daughters was missing. And he literally took to the media to say, like, there are other people missing. Pay attention. Can you imagine?

In the lowest moment of your life, to be able to say, there are other people missing as well and you should focus on them. It was a remarkable view. It was incredibly empathetic, empathetic moment that I was shocked to witness when that when I saw that. Right. I mean, very moving and just the amount of empathy that he had. I couldn't do it.

I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you how much he related to other parents who were going through this too. Right. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing? Amazing. Amazing. They were an amazing family. I'm so glad you came to have a meal with me.

Thank you so much. This is such a great place. I would absolutely come back. I'm absolutely coming back there too. Next time on Dinner's On Me, Isaac Miss Rahi, we'll get into growing up gay in a conservative religious community, hitting it big in the late 80s and sending models like Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell down the runway. Oh, and he schools me on the proper way to eat a croissant. That's croissant.

And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to DinnersOnMePlus. As a subscriber, you not only get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen to them completely ad-free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinner's On Me Show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Neon Hum Media, Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions.

It's hosted by Yours Truly. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hersch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Chloe Chobal is our associate producer, Sam Bear, engineered this episode. Hansdale Shee composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Alexis Martinez and Justin Miquita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.