Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Tan France on ‘Queer Eye’ Ending, Coming Out to His Family & What's Next

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

'Queer Eye’ star Tan France joins the show. Over spicy pomodoro and a mind-blowing tiramisu, Tan admits to a sweets addiction that requires extra luggage on his trips to the UK. He also opens up about body dysmorphia, how his visibility on the hit Netflix show led to him coming out to his Pakistani Muslim family, leaving his Utah home, and seeing a cheeky, more explicit side of Tan in his new web series ‘Honorable Gays,’ out now on YouTube. This episode was recorded at Cento Pasta Bar in West Adams, Los Angeles.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spring break planning at our house is, it's definitely an adventure. Our kids have very strong opinions, and they're always on different sides of the spectrum. Beckett has very strong opinions about the ocean. It has to be a certain temperature, and the wind has to be blowing a certain way if he's going to get anywhere near it. He doesn't want sand on his feet. Sully, on the other hand, he will roll around in the sand and doesn't care about the water temperature, and he could be just sitting amongst seagulls and he's happy. Justin and I, we just want air conditioning and Wi-Fi, honestly.

Juggling all the details of a trip can be very stressful. And while I'm thinking about our plans, I also start thinking about our house while we're away. And it hits me. Maybe we could list our place on Airbnb while we're gone. It always sounds great, but I don't know if I can manage all the details myself. That's where Airbnb's co-host network comes in. You can hire a vetted local co-host to handle all the behind-the-scenes details. managing reservations,

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not to recap per se, but to understand what's really going on. Think of it as C-SPAN meets Ayanla Fix My Life, a little stream of consciousness, a little emotional autopsy, and a whole lot of nuance. From housewives themselves to culture writers, comedians, and everyday bravo-holics, I'm joined by rotating guests to explore the psychology behind Bravo's most fascinating personalities. Because when someone storms out of a reunion or rewrites their own history mid-season, we don't just ask what happened. We ask why.

So if you're looking for something different than a recap and deeper than a soundbite, you're in the right place. New episodes of Andy's Girls drop every week, streaming from the cloth fist to wherever you get your podcasts. Say bon, say bon. Hey, it's Jesse. Today on the show, you know him from Queer Eye, Next in Fashion. He has a new show called Honorable Gays out now. It's the fashion guru himself, Tan France.

And we also watch Golden Girls every day. night. Like, we are fully 75. I know that sounds crazy. I like being a grandma. I think I was destined to just be an old person who is comfortable in a house. This is Dinner's on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So today we're at Sinto Pasta Bar in the West Adams neighborhood of Los Angeles. If you're talking about pasta here in L.A., Sinto is definitely going to be part of the conversation. It's very beloved and well known for its signature dishes. It's beet pasta with whipped ricotta. It's spicy pome d'Oro.

It was started by the guy who does the pasta at Bustia, which is one of the all-time great restaurants in all of L.A. And it started as a pop-up. Now it's here permanently. You eat on this adorable, beautifully lit patio with a gorgeous olive tree. It's perfect for a date night or for afternoon pasta with the fashion guru himself, Tan France.

All right, let's get to the conversation. May I? You may. Thank you. Yes, you may. Hi, how are you feeling, honey? You look very nice. I'm so annoyed.

No, are you kidding me? Because I changed my shirt three times knowing I was sitting down with you. I dressed down thinking he's going to be casual, so I'll go really much. But your casual is like way more chic than me on like when I'm trying. You look very, very nice. There you go. Hello. How are you guys?

Welcome, Chento pasta bar. So I know you guys pre-ordered. So we're going to start firing. some food. We'll start with appetizers, then we'll move on to pastas. What did we get again? I forget. Tell me again. We have the gem Caesar salad. Yes. We have the Machi Crudor coming. I'm also going to send the chart octopus with Ramesco. Do you like octopus? If you don't, we can do something else. I have a full menu available. It's not for everyone. It's not for everyone. I love that dish. It's charred, but I totally get it.

Can I be really honest? Well, I'm just going to be really honest. I used to love octopus. And then you saw that show. I saw the chef. You and a thousand other people. Okay, I'll work on something else for the starters. Something that doesn't traumatize tan. No, he might love it. I will only take small bites, but not a big eater.

Did you see the documentary about Faro? Yeah, no. I was thinking that's a safe bet. It sounds like it's a two minute dog. That's a safe bet. I think we'll do that. And then for pastas, we have the beet spaghetti coming, the spicy pomodoro,

with whipped ricotta, basil oil. That's everyone's favorite pasta here. And I'm going to send the sweet corn annuleti so you guys get to try it. It's my favorite pasta on the menu. I really want you guys to try it. And then we'll just do a bunch of desserts. Perfect.

Thank you, so much. Do you want something to drink? No, water is perfect. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. Do you have a non-alcoholic? I have a non-alcoholic.

Gia revolve. So it's Gia with raspberries, Yuzu, and a little ginger beer. It's refreshing. Actually, that sounds cool. Yeah. I'm with those. Perfect.

We'll do that. I'll take the menus away from you guys and we'll get going. Cheers you guys. Do you not drink it just because it's I know we're saying it's dinner. We're lying. It's lunch. Do you not drink in the daytime?

I stopped drinking a few years ago. Oh, okay, okay. Like a year and a half after kids. Yeah, wait, aren't your kids much older than mine? Aren't yours like seven, eight? Am I wrong? No. Okay, okay.

I have a, one's going to be four in November and the other one's going to be six in July. Oh, okay. Yours are a little old. mine. I've got an almost five, almost three. Okay, so you're right behind me. Yeah. You're a good cook, right? I love to cook, but they don't like

Indian food. There's only one Indian food that they will appreciate. But other than that, they will... It's called Dal, which is... Oh, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you like Indian food? Yeah, like a creamy lintel. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. My favorite food, and it's like the most basic food for Saladish.

Everyone has it most days, and then you'll have something fancy, but that's a quick thing to make. They love that. Other than that, they won't handle spice, which my family is so offended by my kids. I like, why won't they have spice? Even if I just put pepper in something, my others is like so spicy. It's pepper.

How's that possible? So yeah, food is difficult, but they do eat amazingly well. Like, they will have, I hate when parents do this because it's suggesting that others aren't doing a good job. That's not what I'm saying. It's just right now, that God, my kids are doing well. They will eat broccoli. They love peas.

They have fruit. My kids were eating that. I'd be bragging so much. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. They don't really know what candy is. They've never heard of it. That's good.

I know. Do you do Halloween? They do do Halloween. They don't know that the thing that they're getting is something that they consume. Wow. How did you keep that from them? I don't know. We just never explained it to them.

And so they know they're getting candy, but they don't know what it is. Do you like candy? Did your husband like candy? I'm obsessed. We have my chichudo, coconut milk, lemon grass, a little pear on top. And this is the gem seizure from my breadcrum. This is the faro salad. That's great.

Thank you. Good crumb fresh, a little bit of eggplant. Gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you. So I go to, and I'm going next week as well, so I go to England every three or four months. And I will go with one full suitcase, one completely empty suitcase. I'm talking about a live suitcase.

Then I'll go to a place called Tesco. Do you know England? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, go to Tesco, and I will make sure that my suitcase is full. And I mean fully full, fully full. And then that I will consume the next few months. Of candy.

Yeah. I know that I'm going to dive diabetes. I know for a fact. But I don't need real food. I said when he was taking our order, I'm just going to picket things. I'm not an eater. In the daytime, I will maybe consume 500 calories. And then as soon as the kids go,

down, I will consume about 2 to 3,000 calories between 7.30 and 9 o'clock, which is when I go to bed. Just constantly eating. That is the strangest eating pattern I've ever heard. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. I know. It's so... And you've always been this way? Yeah, for like the last 25 years.

Ever since I moved out of home, I will have... I talk about cake a lot. I love cake. I have cake almost every day, if not every day. the reason why I feel like I can get away with eating two to three thousand calories within a one and a half hour period is because I do work out a lot do you I do I just want everyone to know I'm not completely irresponsible what is what is your thing that you like to do I do weights most days but I also do a stem I stuff for at least 20 minutes most days which is brutal but on after all these years it's still not any easy I work out so I can eat the things that I eat My husband, Justin, is, he has to work out every day. I'm good, like, taking you a few days off.

I feel guilt. You feel guilt. Like, exceptional guilt. I know I have body dysmorphia. And I don't say that proudly. I know that it's a problem. Has that always been something that you've dealt with? Yeah.

It's the opposite of what I think most people go through. I'm so embarrassed by my skininess, my patina. No, I relate with that. I mean, it's, I think that is hard. I think any sort of weight thing is hard for some people to hear because if they're on the other end of it, they're like, oh, you're so lucky. But like, for me growing up, I was very, very skinny.

And it made me very insecure. I think it also made me a target for bullies. Same. But also I was deemed unathletic. They weren't wrong. And with not to be a Debbie Downer, being in the gay community, God, I felt so much pressure to have a body. It's a real thing.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It seems like a stereotype. But it's a real thing. It's absolutely a real thing. And when the gays say, oh, you're so skinny. I'm like, that's not a compliment. That's not a compliment.

You're saying, I'm less of a man than you are because you're built. And it's so frustrating. And then they pit you against each other. And yeah, I found it also difficult. And so I've always had an issue with body as far as my own goes. Thank you. But I'm at a point now where after almost 19 years of marriage, which I try my best to remember.

My husband knows how I look. He's happy with it. He's been happy for 19 years. I don't need to impress the 30-year-old Weho Gays with my body. I've only come to that within the last few years, and I'm so grateful to find you in that position where I'm like, I don't need you to be turned on by me.

Was it difficult for you being in the public eye on a show with other gay men, was that part of a thing for you as well? Like, was there residual stuff from your childhood coming in? Yeah. I mean, so I don't know if you know the names of them, so I'm just going to tell you. One of them in particular has the body of a Greek god,

his name is Anthony. Yeah. So Antibrovsky had a nice body, like a great body when we first started, but then after he shot season one, season two, he really committed to becoming the Hulk. And my God, did he achieve that? He did.

His body's insane. And even though he's one of my closest friends in the world, we started out as complete strange as somebody I did not think I liked at all when I first met him. And then we became very, very close. Why did you think he didn't like him? He was so nice. I thought he was too nice. And after work, I need someone to gossip with and say,

hey, well, that bitch said to me today. Like, can you believe it? that happened and I need them to say yeah I did hear it again you fucking believe she said this to me like I want somebody to yes and me and he was not too diplomatic yeah however he dropped that very quickly and was when I said I don't think you and I are going to be friends about such a shame I'm very forthright I will just say what I'm thinking and it's it's not a I know it's not a positive for most people but I think it's a very English trait that I'm just going to say the thing and we can get it done and he was like oh no I'm dying to gossip I thought that you

You were too nice. I didn't like you because you were too sweet. I'm like, oh, I've been waiting for someone to bitch with. He was like, great, let's do this. And so we had just this one evening together, which was magical and changed my life. And you got caught up and I did all the bitching that you needed to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like two and a half, three weeks into Queer Eye and it was like, oh, thank God,

I just need someone to talk to. Because I was really struggling, really struggling with being on TV or being on camera. I didn't know what to do with it. And then I had this person that was there who was the only one who was similar to me. He didn't drink. He didn't go out at night. The others were all partiers. And so I was like, I've got no one.

And then I have this guy who's not willing to do real, real. So I was really struggling. And then thankfully, you talked. I'm glad you had that moment. Yeah, I'm so grateful. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Tan opens up about the tough conversation he had with his family before Queer I premiered.

And he reflects on the cultural significance of seeing himself represented on television. Okay, be right back. When you're about to leave town for a long stretch, everything suddenly feels really important. What are you packing? What are you forgetting? And what will life look like when you're gone? I'm heading to London this summer to do a production of Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm playing King Herod. And it's one of those trips when you're away long enough that you really have to, you know, get organized.

And it made me think about how many people are heading into summer travel right now, whether it's work, family trips, or just getting out of town for a bit. If you're going to be away, it can be a great opportunity to list your space on Airbnb and earn a little extra cash while you're gone. Let's your homework for you instead of it just sitting empty. If the logistics feel like a lot, I totally understand that, you don't have to take it all on yourself. With Airbnb's co-host network, you can partner with the local co-hosts who can help manage the day-to-day details like managing reservations, handling guest communication, and on-site support, so everything feels more manageable when you're away. So before summer really kicks in, it might be the right time to get started.

Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. For years, a deranged man in Wichita, known as the poet, stalked Ruth Finley. He sent her letters, gifts, and poems. The Wichita police put everything they had into Ruth's case, but got nowhere. The poet was always two steps in front of us, and we just didn't know why. And the city was already living in fear under the watch of another monster who called himself BTK. And he also had a thing for poetry. Could we really have two different people?

But no one could have guessed how this would end. That's one of those Hitchcock endings that we did not expect. From Sony Music Entertainment and New Metric Media, this is the poet. I'm Rachel Brown. Coming July 1st to the binge, search for the poet wherever you, you get your podcast to start listening today. Subscribers to The Binge can listen to all episodes, all at once, add free. And we're back with more dinners on me.

I mean, I'm very interested in hearing about this, just that sort of shift from private life into like being in the public eye. I mean, for me, it was a little differently just because I was, you know, an actor. And like, I was, you know, I certainly wasn't famous, but I was, I knew that that was part of what would come with my career if I was ever at a certain level. Yeah. I know just, I did read your biography. Okay.

Your autobiography. You talked about a lot about, you know, being a very private person and how hard that was for you to then come into not only a show that was so popular, but where you had to bring so much yourself to that. Yeah. That was sort of the job description. Yeah. And, you know, just hearing you talk about sort of having a hard time finding your place with the other guys and, like, figuring out what your relationship was, I can only imagine. was a very difficult thing. I mean, at this point, you were already,

you know, you and your husband were, had been together for a while, which I'm sure was a great sense of security for you. So grateful. That he went through that whole process with you. I met Justin in the beginning of modern family. So also in a way, I mean, it was very nice to have him go through that with me. But you know, we were just getting snowing another as that was starting.

I mean, to have someone that you already established. Yeah. Yeah, that must have been very helpful. Yeah. Because at that point we'd be together, for I think like nine years. So we knew each other so well. And I don't know what your relationship is like with your partner.

How long has it been? 15 years. We got married in 2013. Okay, okay. Yeah. Within the first couple years, we'd ironed out all of our weird shit. And I knew him, he knew me, so we knew how we were going to argue and solve a problem. So by the time I got queer eye, it was just nice to have a constant.

I just knew how it was going to go with him. And no matter what, temptations coming away, because quite frankly, that was the only unexpected thing is, when I got queer, I didn't know how big it was going to become, but I imagine that if it became a thing, I imagined what fame might look like. But I had no idea how it would feel to have sexual attention. That was a bizarre feeling. But because I was so set with my husband, it wasn't jarring, it didn't screw me off, Whereas with the others, I think, I don't want to speak for any of the others, but I know that everything was overwhelming.

But in particular, you've got the gaze coming left, right and center. You just want to be a part of it. And so there was so much to navigate. But the others, and it sounds like you were in the situation also, you were already in this industry in somewhere or another. And so you kind of knew what the next steps were if you were to achieve success and think. I knew what the ground work was. Yeah. But if you've never tried for it.

This is spicy Pomodoro with ricotta, basil oil. Chef recommend kind of grab a pasta, dip it in there. Don't mix it right away. Okay. This is for you guys to share. This is the sweet corn adioloti. We have truffle cream fresh on the bottom. Gorgeous.

And I'll be right back with the beet spaghetti as well for me. Thank you so much. I swear to God this is true. I never. even dreamt that this was a possibility. I'd never thought, oh, one day I'm going to end up in entertainment. That is ludicrous.

Like, unless you, unless that was a dream of yours when you were younger and you worked towards it, that doesn't happen in your 30s. It doesn't just come out of nowhere. But weirdly enough, it did. And so, you just have to recalibrate what life is going to look like for you

and how you navigate the world. And I didn't know how to, but I know that out of all of them, I struggled with it the most. I'm going to be a real Debbie Downer and just lean in. The situation for me was so different from the others, in my opinion. And actually they do accept. They have said that they don't know how I've managed all of it

because, sorry, I'm going to make this about race real quick. Yeah. There were already white queer people on TV. It wasn't shocking to the whites to have another white queer person on TV. that had never been a me. They literally never had been a version of me. And so when it started to get big, so no joke, when I signed on the show,

I thought, it's a show called Queer Eye. I'd never seen the original Queer Eye. I didn't really know what it was. I didn't want to watch the show because I didn't want to try and emulate the other guy. His name's Carson, but at that point I didn't know. And they said, all you need to do is be yourself. I was like, great, I'm not going to try and copy somebody else,

and I'm not going to watch the show, I'm just going to be me. And then you do the show thinking, the gays will watch. And that's it. And it's going to be an American show. My family's all in England. They don't know I'm gay. They don't need to know.

A few people in America will watch this. And it was on Netflix. They'd never done it on scripted before. So no one was going to watch this show. I was going to do something fun for the summer. And then I'm going to go back to my normal life. And then the show is about to come out and it's becoming very clear. this is going to be a big global show.

Netflix's first global show. And I started to really panic thinking, oh no, my family's going to find out. We need to minimize this as much as possible. I want to do as little press as possible. I want to say no to this press. I want to say no to that press. If there's anything in the UK, tell them I don't want to do an interview in the UK.

I don't want to tell people where I'm from in the UK. So my experience was so different. The rest of them are like, oh my God, we're famous and the show is huge. And I was like, oh shit, we're famous. The show is huge. Keeping a lid on it. Yeah. Oh,

that's so interesting. It was a very, very, very bizarre experience. And God, I must say, probably terrifying for you, too, if, like, it was something that you were really concerned about,

which just sounds like you were. Terrified. Terrified. You know, being on a moving train that you can't stop. Stop. And I thought I could. I really did think,

oh, I can stop all this. I can calm it down and I can control who sees this. And very, very soon, I realized, oh, shit. going and I've got to just tell everybody in my life, hey, there's this massive secret. Yeah. And I'm about to tell the world at the same time as you.

I told my family two days before the show came out. Wow. Dan. That must have been really intense. Shocking. Oh my God, absolute shocking. How did it feel leading up to that and then also after it was done? Well, I felt physically sick.

I know a lot of people come out when they're younger and I'm very happy with them and that's amazing that they can. I was in a Pakistani Muslim family. You're not coming out early. You're just not. And I'd never heard another South Asian say, I'm gay. I think that most of my people just assumed it was a white person thing. Maybe the bug got a few black people,

but it was definitely just a white person thing because that's all we saw on TV. And in the UK, we didn't have diversity like you guys had in America. And so it was just a bizarre feeling to know that what I was telling my family they'd never heard before. Like my mom had never heard the word gay. She didn't, she'd never heard the notion of somebody being queer. She watches Brown TV. It's a network in the UK called Z TV. It just shows South Asian programming day and night.

So she doesn't watch Western television. So they don't show anything. There's never even been a queer storyline. She's never thought of the notion that two people of the same gender could be into each other. And so it's teaching somebody the basics of what queer people are and then saying, and now I'm telling you, I am one of those.

And I'm about to flip your entire world and this entire community upside down. Bizarre feeling. Thankfully, it went relatively well for a while, and then we didn't talk for a year, which was very bizarre for me in my future. family. We're very, very, very close. And then finally, they watch and they're like, oh, you're not the devil just because you're gay.

If you're actually doing something really nice, absolutely you can stay. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we return, Tan reveals a major life change that he and his husband Rob recently made, and he tells me his skin care secrets. Spoiler alert. It includes yogurt. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. How's everything tasting?

So far, so good. Yes. I'll bring you share plates for the annual loatis. Thank you. Sure, thank you so much. It's incredible, so great. This is like chef's specialty, it's brown butter, beet sauce, ricotta, chival. This is also gorgeous.

That's... Every single table orders this. Yeah, no surprise. You guys, enjoy. Thank you. You know, I've never said this before, but I won't say who it was. But during filming of that first season, somebody on the cast was quite prostrated.

with me when they found out that I wasn't out to my family, saying, well, basically, you're kind of a traitor to us on the show if you're not out. Like, how can you be on queer eye and not be singing it from the rooftops? And we got into a heated argument. And I was saying, you have no idea what my experience is as a queer Muslim, a queer brown person, a queer immigrant. Like, it's all well and good you're saying this, but you will never know. this time what it's like as a person of color trying to come out when you've had nobody ever say

those words in your community before and so yeah I was navigating something so different to everybody else at the time so it felt really heavy but once my family accepted it and understood it and now gosh they're a huge part of my life they love my husband they love my kids but we are so close again I'm so happy to hear that so happy also I don't know if anyone warned you I do swear a shocking amount I'm trying really hard hard not to. I thought you didn't swear. I thought that was like a thing.

No. On Queer Eye, what really drove me crazy and I had a conversation about this with the executive producers the first week, I kept saying Conn on camera because Conn is a really common word.

Yeah, really common swear word. I know so many people that's her favorite swear word. It's my favorite, but I don't even see it as a swear word. Olivia Coleman. She loves it. Yeah, I know she loves it.

Most Brits do. In America, it's a lot of, little like aggressive. Oh, it's shocking here. And so I used it so often. And then finally they called me from a meeting and said, you've got to stop saying con on set. And I was like, wait, why? I don't know. What's the problem? And they were like, look, Americans find it so shocking and so jarring. You can't do it anymore. And then they edited all my swears out of the show. And so the audience thought that I was just this classy Brit. Oh, interesting. And I tried at every turn to explain to the audience what you see of me on queer eye is almost who I am.

but I am disgusting. Like I am so vulgar. Not in a sexual way. I don't like when people tell me their ins and outs of their sex lives. I find it very uncomfortable. But I swear a shocking amount. But you don't usually see it on TV.

But anything I do that's not on Netflix, you see a real bit of thing. I was watching, I watched Honorable Gade, which is a new show. Oh, thanks, yeah. And I love the premise of it. I love that you go deep into like these Reddit threads. Am I an asshole?

Yeah. And, you know, you are definitely a more uncensored version of yourself, for sure. Yeah. Like anyone who knows your work on queer eye, they're going to find familiarity in that, but they're going to be like, oh, the reins are off. So, unhonorable gays, first off, it's my favorite thing that I do right now. I absolutely love it so much. It seems easy, too.

It is so nice and easy. We do a couple of days. We shot eight episodes. It's me. Have you ever seen Rob Anderson before? I follow him on Instagram. He's so funny. I love Rob Anderson.

And then Eric Zedanyo, I actually started looking at Eric's work way before Rob's. I found Rob like a year ago. Eric I've known for like three years, but not personally, just online. I thought he was so funny. He has this wig that has a whole life of its own. He's just very, I love a young queer content creator who's really got a point of view and he's got a real strong point of view. and so I asked them to both join me on this show

and just getting to do no real prep because I'm going to read a story to you and you just give me your honest opinion of what you're hearing, dream. And we just giggle about how ridiculous the story is, it's so fun. And then I was like, no, I want it to be animated as well because I want to pump up the ludicrousness

of what this is. I love it. I love that. It's really fun. Thank you. It makes me want to absolutely go into these Reddit threads. I mean, I can't bring some of these stories. You're going to be wild.

I know. A lot of them are tame. We got a lot more. Who does your research for you? Funny enough, my two assistants found all the stories forming. They just locked through Reddit threads for like six months to get the ones that we could do. But most of them, I wanted it, initially I wanted it to only be bridesmaid stories or wedding stories. Right.

Because I love a bridesmaid story. But I have a producing part. I mean, the first few are kind of. The first two are wedding. Yeah. Everything else is not wedding. Okay. And even that I had to fight for.

I was like, no, I think that the audience is going to love these wedding stories. And they did. I love a wedding story. Every wedding I've ever been a part of, it's a shit show. Is it? Absolutely shit. There's some drama that goes down and someone's going to fight at the end of it. And I will never understand why.

I had such a simple wedding. Tell me about your wedding. My wedding was, we did it twice. Once in England, then we had to do it in America for a green card. both weddings were one witness and then just my husband and I we went to what do you call it in America we call it a town a town hall yeah city hall court house thank you so went to the courthouse it was just us exactly what I wanted and then when we did the American version we had a reception

dinner like a week later in Salt Lake we got married in New York then went back to Salt Lake which is where we live and then we had our friends and family there were 44 of them so it was legal in New York when you got married it was yeah okay so So did you get married in 2013 as well? 14, 2014 in America, yeah. It was legal in 13, I think. Yeah. And I always wanted something small.

Look, no shade to anyone who wants a big wedding. You save so much money. You save so much money. Yeah. But not just that, I don't want that much stress for a celebration. Also, yeah, the attention. I just want it to be, I find a private wedding so romantic because I don't need to prove it to anybody else.

I don't need to worry about whether you're all having a nice time. I just want to make sure my husband's having a nice time. You're having a lovely day. And this is just you and I. And so, a lovely time. The dinner was lovely with friends. It was literally just a dinner. I told everyone it's two and a half hours.

We'll be done after two and a half hours. And then just me and Rob were going to go on a trip. Yeah, it was exactly what I wanted. That's perfect. Can I tell you a ridiculous story about clothes on my wedding? Yes, please. My first wedding to Rob It was

Oh God, I don't know dates Let's say 2010-ish I'm sure someone will find it online and call me out And say I'm lying But let's say 2010 We were going to a courthouse We had decided six months in advance That we were going to get married

I am the full Taipei person This all commas no surprise, I'm sure Fully Taipei My husband's fully type B I know everything that's happening and I have a password for everything. I have a shopping list that is meticulous. I don't know exactly what brand I want of that thing.

Yeah, absolute fucking nightmare. I know. But at least you always know, at least you always know shit's getting handled. So I got, first off, I got our rings. I wanted Pakistani gold rings. I was in England. My husband was in America, or at that point, it was my fiancé, was in America. And I was like, get your finger measured and just send me the information.

It has a letter. Great. He came back with a letter that I knew was physically impossible. I'd been with you a year. I would notice if you had gigantic fucking hands. You don't. You're my height. You're my size. Like I'm telling you that. You're size with that. I guarantee you. I've been. I've had it looked at. This is it. This is for sure the size. I was like, okay, I will get you that. It's going to cost three times my ring. And I'm positive. You wear my ring. Yes. And I'm positive. You wear my ring size. But I'll get you that. But I'll get you. okay, if you're saying you're that, you're there. Got the ring. He came to England before we tried on suits or whatever. I said, okay, here's your ring, you want to try it on. Massive. Yeah.

Like, absolutely, like it was as if you're... It's a hula hoop around his thing. Exactly. I was literally about saying, a hula hoop around his fucking finger. So we managed to get it compressed. No big deal. Then it was time to get our suits. I said, you get your suit, I'll get my suit.

Even though I do this for a living, I want you to choose your own. I don't want you to feel like yourself on the wedding. chose his suit online I chose my suit my suit arrived tried it on made sure it was fitted to perfection we had no

great money it wasn't an expensive suit but it was a decent suit once you tailor it it should fit perfectly he got his suit I didn't manage his suit I thought I'm not going to try

and manage the situation I want him to have a fun experience and you don't need Tan France ruining a situation with management I'm so nervous wedding day came both were getting ready

for the wedding. He put his clothes on. It was fucking hideous. He hadn't even taken it out of the box. That's how Lucy Goosey he is. So he put the suit on and I looked at him and I was obviously very nice.

I was like, no, you look lovely, you look absolutely lovely thinking. You hated it. What the fuck have you got on? Was it like boxy and really boxy, ill-fitting. The color wasn't right, no tailoring. Clothes up right for his skin. And I could tell that he was feeling

really shitty. about it. He was like, your suit's amazing. I can't believe that mine's like, puddling around his shoes his trousers for so long. And I was like, you wear my suit. Where my suit? I'll wear your suit. It's fine, I'll make it work.

So he looked fucking fantastic on our wedding. Oh my God, I thought he looked amazing. And then in all the pictures I've stood there looking like a two-year-old in my father's suit. Oh yeah. There are no pictures. All pictures had to be burned.

No, you have to. to find some. There's literally no, I mean it was 2010 where we had like binder clips or anything. No, we just had like a disposable camera. We had a friend there. We're like, take pictures with disposable camera. And then I don't even think we ever really printed it. Like there's pictures and was like, I never want to see pictures. That is so funny. I looked absolutely shocking. Also, I can't believe he's like, sure I'll wear your suit. Do you know, I really insisted. I wanted him to feel beautiful. We're about to move. Okay. I'm just going to talk about this because it's really upsetting me.

Okay. We're moving. You're staying in Salt Lake City. No. Oh. That's what's really upsetting. Oh. We're going through a midlife crisis.

We designed and had built our dream home in Salt Lake. And I really wanted to design a house that was a hybrid between a British and South Asian, Indian, Pakistani house. We worked on it for three years. I've been saying for years, this is the home that I will build and live in for the rest of my life. I will die in this house. I will never move again. Three years in we're going through a midlife fucking crisis.

And my husband has made it very clear, and he's not wrong. We live like retired people in a very weird bubble. We live in a gated community. We have everything we need within our community. And then we take our kid to school outside the community. But other than taking them out to school, we don't leave that bubble. Okay. We never need to.

And so I'm hoping. home four or five days every week without fail. We are grandmas. And we also watch Golden Girls every night. Like we are fully 75. And so he said about six months ago, I'm going to blame a friend of mine. Do you know Gigi Hadid? Yeah. We do a show together called X in Fashion and she's one of my very good friends. I was at her house. She lives in New York. And she just made a joke about buying the place next to her. And I didn't think anything of it. Then Rob called FaceTime and she said it to him.

It's just a joke, no big deal. I got back to Salt Lake and Rob had had an epiphany. He's like, we need to move. We need to sell this house. We need to move to the East Coast. I was like, why? Like, I'm not doing that. I love Salt Lake.

And he's like, we see no one. We live in a weird bubble and we are grandmas. Our whole life is just, We take our elders to school, then we're at home all day with the kids. That's it. We can do that anywhere. But if we lived in New York, I say- You'd have a social life.

Yeah, I say no to almost everything because it's a five-and-a-half-hour flight from Salt Lake to New York. Yeah. And I get invited to stuff at least once a week, and I say no to everything. Because I can't bother to fly. Because I fly so much work. And he's like, we could just pop out for an evening and do stuff and live like real people. He's not wrong. He's not wrong.

I know. But I love this bubble. I know that sounds crazy. I like being a grandma. I think I was destined to just be an old person who is comfortable in a house. There's something very nice about it. I mean, I'm a homebody. I'm a home body.

I really am a homebody. I like, I'm a very social person, but I bring people to my home. I love to. You can still have that though, Tan, in New York and still be a homebody and then just have the opportunity. Sometimes it's just nice knowing that it's there for you. I do understand what Rob's saying about, and Tall Lake City and being in a bit of a bubble. And the whole town's a bubble.

It is. It is. But I, so it was the first place I properly moved to in America. So it's all I know, really. So it's scary after 20 years to move again. But we're doing it. The husband on the market yesterday.

Oh, no way. Yeah. How did that feel? I am really glad I'm not in Utah. I'm away for two weeks. I go to China tomorrow and then I go to London. I'm glad I'm not there for this period. He's so excited about it, so he doesn't have the same feelings as I do, who loves at home.

But he doesn't have the same feelings. I feel physically sick at the thought of not living in Utah. You've been to Utah. Yes. Salt Lake. It's great. It's a beautiful place. Oh my God, I love it so much.

I feel like I'm the luckiest person in America. I really do feel like I'm truly the luckiest person in America. I moved to America. I got the American dream, which isn't, I'm not talking about TV. I found Utah. They're like, I love this. I discovered Utah. Who knew?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you had a family. You built a family and a home. Yeah. And I built a place for us that is just safe. And I don't feel scared to go out. Even though we live in a place that I think people think is extremely Republican, I've never been called a nasty name on the street by anyone in 20 years. I feel safe.

I feel it's safe for my kids. But I know that I'm just hiding away. Yeah. It's just easy. Yeah. You liked it. It was so good. Everything was delicious.

Mmm. And I'll do dessert. Do you guys have an idea? We have a banana pudding, trammisu. I mean, that sounds incredible. Food and Wine rated it, best dessert in the country. What? Yeah.

In the country, too. But if you want something else, I can add something else, or you guys want to share the turamisu. See, I would love to try the date thing you've got. The date cake? I'm just so excited. Yeah. That's a favorite.

And we have homemade ice cream on top of it. It's really nice. Great. Perfect. Sounds good. I'll send that out right now. Thank you. Can we talk about post fame because you're the only person I know who was on a show for a long time?

Was it 10 years also? 11. Okay. Yeah. So you've got a job consistently for a long time. And then you finish the show. What happens after that? Do you freak out of it?

Because I'm like three months post off finale. And I don't, I'm not worried necessarily. It's not financial at all. God, it's more relevance. Right. Or what is next? Right. Well, what, I mean, first of all, what would you want to do?

Like, what are your dreams? Well, here's the problem. I'm going to say this to you and I realize how ludicrous it is to say to you. Just, if you have a strong gag reflex, just chill out. I'm so excited about this. I want to do scripted work. I don't go fuck yourself. No.

You want to be a writer? No. No, okay. Not at all. I can't write for shit. Do you want to act? Yeah. I did a show two years ago, maybe a year and a half ago called Delhi Boys. It's a Hulu show that I absolutely love.

And I auditioned for a part on it, and I got it when I couldn't believe it. And I play a very violent gangster who's got a different accent to mine. And he's straight. And so I don't play myself. And I had the best week of my adult life. No joke, the best week of my adult life. But I mean, obviously, setting aside kids and husband, all that. Like, as far as career goes, I've never felt what I felt that week.

Then I went and did the second season. It comes out on May 28. That wasn't meant to be a plug, but it comes out in a couple of weeks, season two. And I got to do it again. Had the best time. I shot a movie, a part in a movie. And so now I've done three And I have never loved work more

Than when I'm on a scripted set I love that I love it so much Well I mean first of all it sounds like you are Doing it Doing it I mean you're literally doing it So that's great

Like you're even to get two different opportunities You know that shows that you have This is the date cake Homemade from fresh ice cream Is it like a sticky toffee pudding? Exactly Okay Just a little bit

Okay Just a little bit better yeah Thank you. I'll put this here the little bit. Oh, that looks cool. This is banana pudding Tiramisu. Oh, it wasn't ready. Oh, just kidding.

It's incredible. Cheers you guys. Thank you. Wow, it's so dramatic. You imagine if that wasn't ready. Didn't set. Didn't set. Okay.

Yeah, so, so, no, I am doing the version of it. But it is, yeah, it's just a scary thing thinking, thinking, well, I had this for nine years and I don't know what's coming next. It's a bizarre feeling, very bizarre. First of all, you've done the hardest part of it is like actually proving to yourself and others that you can do it. But it is exciting and I wonder, I mean, do you find it invigorating to be sort of free from that thing that you've been doing for so long and that people have been seeing you as and like having the freedom to do new things and stretch yourself? I can imagine it's a very exciting time as well. I'll say this. I've worked to

I was 15. Actually, I worked before then. I just couldn't say it was legal, but I've been working my whole life. I don't know how to not work. It's such an important part of my life that I need to be challenged. And I tried to get out of queer I literally three years ago. Like, gosh, I tried to get out from season five. I was like, it's a beautiful experience, but it's nothing more to do. I'm not challenged anyway. You felt like you've met its limits? Yeah. As I said, I could turn up on set and I can fill those three hours easily. I could. I could talk for England. Like, that is my skill.

I can talk for hours and feel absolutely fine about it. And so I just think, well, that's boring at this point. I've done it for almost 10 years. What else is going to get me going? And that first down, that scripted set, oh, God, I vomited at the audition. I vomited it in my trailer before I was about to go on and do my first take. I was so scared of it by it.

But I loved it still. And so I'm hoping that I'll get to do more of that. I shot a short last month that was my own I directed it I co-wrote it I produced it I was in it and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I even if it never succeeds

and it ever turned into anything I at least want to try for that I'd rather look back when I'm 75 and safe it didn't work right but I tried as opposed to saying well I'm just going to sit at home and watch Golden Girls Well, hence the move to these close. But I think, you know, life is going to be always full of these great successes and then things that we tried and didn't succeed at or things that, you know, we, we're presented to us that we made me, then Phil was right for us.

I think the only regrets I have are things that I wish I had done that I decided not to do. Yeah. I think, you know, you're going to have different varying degrees of success for any of your career choices. And it's, you know, but to get to the end or get to a point where you're like, oh, it's too late for me to do this thing that I wish I'd done is where regrets sets in. Actually, I will say age does scare me. Being in my 40s in this industry does scare the shit out of me. But I'm trying to set that to the back of my mind and not make that way. Well, you have to.

I mean, it is what it is. There's nothing I can do about it. And you have great skin. Thank you. Do you know what? So lame. Skin care is so important. to me and I wish it meant less.

But I don't wear makeup on TV. I don't want makeup in general. And so I'm really particular about skincare. Wait, I read something in your book, and I want to know if you still do it. There's a face mask. That is just yogurt and green tea leaves. Do you still do this? I've been doing it since I was 17.

Yeah. And I do think that's the reason why I've got good. Before I go home, I'm picking up some 2% fat yogurt and some green tea, and I'm going to try this tonight. I swear to God it's going to change your life. I know that sounds so dramatic. You seep the tea? Yep. So, okay, I'm going to tell you what it is real quick.

So I'm not sponsored by these brands in any way. It's just the easiest way to communicate what it is. Okay. So that fire yogurt, that's Greek yogurt, it just needs to be really thick. Really thick, yeah, yeah. So whatever equivalent you can find of that yogurt that's really thick. One green tea tea bag. If you've got loose tea, great, but I don't know how to measure that.

So one green tea tea bag. steep that in boiling water for like a minute, just so it softens up the leaves. Open up that teabag. The contents of the tea bag, mix into your yogh, and leave that for like 20 minutes, half an hour.

I always have it in my fridge, so it's been in there for weeks. Okay. So give that a mix, leave it for at least 20 minutes to half an hour, then put that on your face as if you are Robin Williams, Robin Williams, Robin Williams,

in Mrs. Doubt by her. Yes. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Like this is a thick. Yeah. That goes on. on your face, you leave that on. Okay, you're a very white man.

So, give yourself two to three minutes. Oh. I give myself 12 to 15 because I've been doing it for so long, but white skin can't handle it. Even my husband couldn't handle it. He's very, very pale. And the first time he used it, he thought his skin was burning.

And it was very red after because he kept it on the full 10 minutes. You've got to kind of, do you use retinal? I don't. So retinal is a thing that, that is amazing for everyone. Get on that. And you have to build up a tolerance.

Right. And it's the same with Greek yogurt. I don't know what it is about the yogurt, but it really does affect white people's skin. Okay. And so two to three minutes the first time to test it. And then go up a minute or so every time you do it until you get to 10 minutes.

Then you scrape it off, wash, moisturized it with your normal routine. It is going to change your skin. It got rid of my acne as a teen. I get maybe a zip once every two to three years now. And it means that I don't need to wear makeup. Yeah, you have great skin. Thanks, thanks. I mean, if you're telling me to try it, I'm going to try it.

They say it's a secret to a long life. Boom. Watch me die at 60. We can end up on that. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Sinto Pasta Bar in West Adams, Los Angeles. Next week on the show, you know him as a chef, restaurateur, and television personality behind top chef and beloved L.A. restaurants, Gwyn and Maud. It's Curtis Stone.

We'll talk about raising adventurous and not so adventurous eaters, the lessons he learned running restaurants through the pandemic, and the simple secret to being a restaurant guest everyone loves. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, they'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page,

on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode.

Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasney and Justin McKita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.