Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Tom Daley – on learning to lose and being changed by fatherhood

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

British Olympic diver Tom Daley joins the show. Over fresh pasta, Tom tells me about becoming an Olympian for the first time at age 13, his special relationship with his late father, and becoming a dad with his partner ‘Milk’ screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. This episode was recorded at Bancone in Covent Garden, London. Want next week’s episode now? Subscribe to Dinner’s on Me PLUS. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, but you’ll also be able to listen completely ad-free! Just click “Try Free” at the top of the Dinner’s on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Get 15% off your Saily plan with the code ⁠⁠dinnersonme⁠⁠. Just download the Saily app or head to ⁠⁠https://saily.com/dinnersonme⁠⁠. Stay connected — and don’t miss your dinner reservation. Stay connected — and don’t miss your dinner reservation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I'm currently traveling abroad in London right at the moment, which is why so many of my episodes have people with British accents right now. It's amazing here. I love it. Until I need directions or restaurant recs or anything, and I've got no Wi-Fi and sky-high roaming fees, which is just not cute. That's why I started using Salie. Salie is an easy-to-use eSIM app created by the folks behind NordVPN. It gives you instant mobile data in over 190 countries and you only have to install it

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or planning our podcast recording, I know I'm hydrating the earth's finest way. Fiji water. It's earth's finest water. Hey, it's Jesse. Today on the show I thought, you know what, I'm in London. Why don't I talk to one of England's national treasures? It's Olympic gold medal diver, Tom Daley. And I feel like queer people growing up compartmentalize very well because you have to be someone else until you're not, until you're able to be able to talk freely

about who you are. This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Tom Daley and I have been friends for a few years now. I have known his husband, Dustin Lance Black, for quite some time, and I am so excited that Tom is coming through London. He actually lives in LA right now,

but he's coming through London to promote his new documentary, Tom Daily 1.6 Seconds. It's out now and it is absolutely fantastic. I watched it last night. It is a beautifully told timeline of his career from age 13 to his retirement. It's so crazy to call it retirement at age 30.

I decided to bring Tom to Benancone in Covent Garden. Bancone is celebrated for its refined, yet approachable Italian cuisine, particularly its fresh homemade pasta. Chef Benoit has 10 years of fine dining experience, and apparently this is their sixth year of having a Michelin star. So I am so excited to try their pasta

and catch up with my good friend, Tom. So you're here promoting your documentary, which I got to watch last night. So I'm in a show right now at the National Theater and I'm exhausted and I have no time for myself. Can't even imagine. And last night we had an early show, which is my dream. We had a 6.30 PM evening show last night,

6.30 PM curtain. Wow, okay. And I was home at like 9 PM. I was like, this is a 6.30 p.m. evening show last night, 6.30 p.m. curtain. Wow, okay. And I was home at like 9 p.m. I was like, this is a dream. So I was like, what am I going to do with my extra time? I was like, oh, I'm going to watch Tom's documentary. It is so fantastic. Oh, thank you.

I mean, it struck me though, when I was watching it, because you just, by the way, happy birthday. You just turned 31. Thank you, I did, I did. You've had an entire career, starting at age 13 and ending, you know, retiring at age 30. You have experienced incredible loss with the loss of your father.

You've been at the very lowest of your career and the highest of your career, literally with gold medals. You have become a husband and a father, and you've retired. I know, it you've retired. I know, it's very weird. All in the age of 30, it's like a truncated life.

Yeah, it's very weird. It was almost like when they say your life flashes before your eyes. Yeah. It was kind of, that is what 1.6 seconds, that imagery is. Yeah, and the title's so brilliant, 1.6 seconds, because that's how long it takes To do a dive. To do a dive. Yeah, and the title is so brilliant, 1.6 seconds, because that's how long it takes

to do a dive. To do a dive. Yeah. But like, those 30 years looking back, and I'm sure filming that documentary, you must have just been like, wow, so much has happened. Yeah, I do think looking back sometimes, I forget some of the things that I did,

and it's also weird seeing myself talk about the different Olympics and how my mindset changes and my perspective shifts. And I think, you know, the big thing that I think has changed everything for me was becoming a parent. And that feeling of, you know, realizing that nothing else matters or nothing else matters as much.

I think you get rid of worrying about and sweating the little things and you realize everything is much more like big picture stuff. And I, you know, having that perspective of being able to stand on the diving board at the Olympics, knowing that regardless of whether I do really well or terribly, I'm going to go home to a family, a husband and my kids that love me regardless. And that's something that's really special.

And what you made really clear in the documentary when you're talking about your father, I think he must have instilled some of this in you, because I think of competitive sports, and I think of those crazy parents who are in the stands, and they're way too emotionally involved. Your dad was just there to have a good time. Oh yeah. He does not care if you won.

He just wanted you to have a good time, and he was there to have a good time himself, waving his huge flag. He just was there to have a good time, and he was there to have a good time himself, waving his huge flag. He just was there to have a good time, and it wasn't about a medal, which you ultimately did end up winning, but like, it was about just that moment in time. Yeah, I mean, I feel like my dad lived to make us happy,

and he was at his happiest and filled with most joy when we were. He was an incredibly special human being. The relationship I had with my dad, I see a lot of that now with my kids, and that special connection is just... It was one of the hardest things to have to go through, at 17 years old, and having to go through it very publicly as well, in that way, because growing up itself is difficult anyway,

but then having to do that undiscriminately about what's right, what's wrong, and all of that was a challenge, but at the end of the day, my dad was 40. And to like, he was so incredibly young to die. And I think about it now, I'm like, I'm 31. In nine years time, I'm gonna be the same age that my dad was, and I don't know quite how that

is going to feel when I the same age that my dad was. And I don't know quite how that is going to feel when I then become older than my dad. And I think when you, when I see footage going back of like, my mom taking me or my dad taking me to the pool for the first time or going to the first diving lessons and those competitions, like the age I am now was the age that my parents were when they were taking me to competitions. And if that was another reason to do the was the age that my parents were when they were taking me to competitions. Yeah. And that was another reason to do the documentary, so that my kids, in the future, when they look back at it and they see what their papa did.

So yeah. How are you? Hi. Good, how are you? I'm Sean, General Manager here at Backpony. Thank you. Thank you. First time here?

Yeah, for me? Yeah, first time. No, never been here. New York's TV, rundown food, for me, have you been here? Yeah, it's first time, no, never been here. New York to give you a rundown through the menu, just very briefly. Great. So the majority of the dishes on the menu are what our mains are, pasta dishes. We do have some antipasti as well

to kind of break it up a little bit. The antipasti's idea is to share. So I would recommend definitely two or three plates to definitely share with. And then for pastas, you can definitely have a bowl each. We also have a dessert menu, and then we also have any sort of cocktails, wines, soft drinks, all the coffee, tea, all to be in as well.

Oh, great, great, great. What are some of your popular dishes? I've always loved a fried artichoke. Oh yeah, that's good. My artichoke is definitely one of my favorites on the menu. So it's a whole artichoke which we deep fry. It's then seasoned with a little bit of some chive oil, some dill, and some sea salt.

The romesco sauce itself is a tomato base with some nuts and also some garlic. Okay. So it's really, it's a cold sauce, but it's really nice. That goes to go as well with the potato sourdough as well to kind of just mop up the sauce a bit. In terms of the pastas, our popular one is definitely the silk handkerchief with walnut butter.

It's our- Can we say that again? The silk handkerchief with walnut butter. Oh yeah. Which is just over here. It's our signature dish. It's folded in a triangle and you get five pieces on the plate, so it's almost like a star shape on the plate.

Oh wow. It then has a blonde sauce, we've topped with toasted walnuts and a confit egg. Great, oh my God. And I see you have a new Michelin star, congratulations blonde sauce, we've topped with toasted walnuts and a confit egg. Great, oh my God. And I see you have a new Michelin star, congratulations. Michelin 2020, about 2025. I've had it now for the sixth year in the running. Wow, congratulations, that's incredible.

Let's do the fried artichoke for sure. Do you want the potato sourdough? Sure, I feel like a burrata is always a good show. Okay, let's do the burrata. For sure, the burrata. I was really drawn to the sporky. The spicy pork is what I was trying to say. Yeah, that sounds great.

The tacotale. Let's do that one, the silk handkerchief. And you choose one more, Tom. Oh, gosh. Why don't we do the gnocchi, like you said? Let's do the gnocchi. The gnocchi? Yeah.

So the starters, we're going to have the potato salad, fried-out drink, and burrata. And then for mains, you have the silk handkerchief, spicy pork, and the gnocchi tomato and stretch cheese. Any drinks at all for my menu? Do you have, like, a lemonade or something? We have a fresh lemonade. Oh, I love that.

You can make a fresh lemonade in passes, though. Oh, I'll do that, then, as well. Why not? Why not? Why not? Any allergies? No, not for me. Not for me. I, everything. So I met you initially through Lance,

because I knew Lance before you. Yes. And I knew Lance because my husband, Justin, worked with Lance on Proposition 8. They worked toward marriage equality together. So I was around Lance when he, you know, met you. Yes. And, you know, it was sort of like, oh, it was sort of secretive.

Like, he didn't want to say who it was because we all knew who you were. But, like, you know, we were close enough that he did tell us, like, oh, wow, that's so interesting. I know. It's crazy now, looking back on it, to think that I was ever in the closet,

mainly because I just wish that the world was at a place where you didn't have to think about publicly coming out, and it just was something that people just didn't care about. But it's, I feel like everybody always wants to know everything, especially in the world of social media, and everybody wants to know everything. It's always, of social media, and everybody wants to know everything. It's always, I mean, figuring out a way to come out

is always a challenging way. But also, like, you were 18. You were very, I have a fear list about, you know, giving this person your number, and you tell this great story about, like, putting your number in his phone and then putting a winky face after it. And, you know, like, it's like, oh God,

what straight guy puts a winky face after it. And you know, it's like, oh God, what straight guy puts a winky face after their number in another fuck man's phone? I know. So you know, it was definitely your- The giveaway. Yeah, the giveaway. But you know, and I certainly relate to this because there's an age difference between Justin and I,

but were there fears around sort of the age difference and just in also coming out and being with someone? It seems like it all sort of happened simultaneously. You came out because of this relationship, which I love. Yeah, because I met Lance in the March of 2013. So it was just before my 19th birthday. And I, at the time, had no idea who he was, what he did. When we were at the dinner where we met, he was ready to leave

because he had a script due the next day. I was also a little bit- Well, I should pause and just tell people who are listening, if you don't know, we're talking about a full name, Dustin Lance Black, Oscar award winner for his screenplay for Milk, and you know, he's a brilliant writer, and anyway, so that's who we're talking about.

Yeah, no, he's an incredible human being, and he is, and he had to leave, well, he was meant to leave because he had a script due like really soon. So I was like, oh, okay, cool, like, we'll see you later. And the main thing that I remember walking into that dinner was, you know, it's gonna sound a little bit cheesy, but seeing him, instantly, eyes like went to him. I just remember thinking, oh my gosh, who is that?

And then kind of, the whole dinner, it was that awkward thing of catching eyes and then feeling like I got caught, looking at him and staring at him. But I feel like when we met, we also connected on so much of a deeper level than I have ever experienced with anyone. We had been through so much of a deeper level than I have ever experienced with anyone. We had been through so many of the same things. He had just lost his brother. I had just lost my dad.

He had just won an Oscar. And then the down, like, you know, the high of that, but then like, what comes next? And the same with me with the Olympics, the high of the London 2012 Olympic medal, and then not knowing what to do afterwards. So it was a really tough and challenging, you know, period of my life that I was already having. And he really inspired me to carry on diving because I was ready to, you know, throw in the towel, if you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I loved hearing him talk about those early moments with you and doing exactly what you just said, you know, really convincing you to talk about those early moments with you and doing exactly what you just said, you know, really convincing you to that you were the best at what you do and you need to see this through. And it's really lovely to hear him talk about those early days. It's a special thing when you find your forever teammate and you know really instantly and he make always makes it so that there is no

dream too big there is no dream that we couldn't work to making a reality together now for a quick break but don't go away when we come back Tom opens up about his no-nonsense approach to relationships and the surprising struggles that came with being a professional athlete as a kid Okay, be right back Now that Beckett is five and Sully is not far behind at three I've been thinking a lot about school options I want to set them up for success, but also make sure they're learning in ways that actually work for who they are That's why I love what K-12 powered schools are doing.

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There's no safe like simply safe. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. As an athlete, obviously, I never really had time for a relationship. So, like a proper relationship was new to me. And I'm one of those people that if I'm going to be in a relationship, why ever go into a relationship if you don't think that it's gonna be forever is my thought. So right away I was like, can you see yourself getting married

and do you wanna have kids? I was very upfront about it. Because I was like- You and Justin are very similar in that way because he, you know, I was pumping the brakes early on in our relationship like four months in. I was like, oh, it's just like, you know, see,

I had just come out of like a kind of an open thing or like a very casual thing. And that was like something new that I hadn't done. I was like, that's something kind of refreshing about that. And so I wasn't really like looking to like, like clarify what it was. It just sort of like, let's just see what happens. And he was like, I'm fine with this

for like a little while longer, but then we're going to have to like, find it. This is the fried you want. Find it. Yeah. This is your fried artichoke. Yes, oh wow. Marata with the five French beans and the crispy shallots, wild garlic and croutons and then your potato salad,

which I also serve with some olive oil on the side. Amazing, thank you. Thank you so much. We share this in common in that we were both bullied in school. I went to a Catholic school and it was very focused on sports and I was not athletic. I think kids also get kind of sense that I was gay

and other and maybe they didn't know what gay was but they knew I was other and I didn't have a lot of friends and sort of that thing like, you know, and the sheep's off by himself, the wolves will gather because it's an easy target. And I didn't know this about your history, but you were bullied in school. And not only that, but after you came home

from your first Olympics, which was Beijing, right? Beijing, yes. And you had reached such a height, and you would think that your classmates, the people that you were in school with would be celebrating the fact that one of their peers had reached literally the pinnacle of what you could do as an athlete, and that wasn't the case.

No, it was a big crash back down to reality. It was, yeah, I mean, that's the thing. It's like a really, you know, going through bullying is, it's one of the, I guess everybody always says, Ian makes you who you are today and all of that stuff. Yeah, sure it does, but at the time, it really sucks. And you feel embarrassed about it because you never think it's going to be you

that's going to be that person that's going to be on the receiving end of that. And then when it is, you're like, oh gosh, how do I get out of this cycle? And you kind of just want to run away from everything. And then how do you actually make it better? And to have to do it very publicly in the UK as well. Well, that's just, yeah.

Was the, and having to talk about it. And growing up's tough anyway. But then having to figure out who I was as a person, like my sexual orientation, all of that. I just, there's so much that going through it and now looking, when I was doing the documentary, looking back at it and seeing my younger self just be, I don't know. It was almost, I look back at it now

and I almost like feel like I was tortured through lots of my childhood in that thing. I mean I don't look back on it and ever think of anything negative about my childhood. I always look back on my childhood and think, oh my gosh, that was so much fun, I had the time of my life, this was all great. But your brain is a clever thing to be able to like,

make you forget about the things that were slightly more difficult to have to handle. Yeah, I think it's a survival mechanism that our brains do for us too, to let us release trauma. The crazy paradoxical thing about all that though, is like, in the midst of like, of you being bullied, you then won a world championship.

Yes. It's just, Tom, I mean, I can't, it's, literally, you're being presented with something that says you are on the top of the world. Yes. And yet, you know, you're also dealing with bullying at school, it's just, I can't even fathom how that must have, how you must have processed that.

Yeah, I feel like my coach in the documentary talks a lot about my ability to compartmentalize. And I think that is something that I still very much do now with my everyday life. And I feel like queer people growing up compartmentalize very well because you have to be someone else until you're not, until you're able to be able to talk freely about who you are.

I remember being asked a question, what do people think at school? And I just remember there was one interview, it was like a print interview, and I just remember I just started crying. And it was the first time where I didn't know what to say. Because I was like, of course you want to go back to school and you want your friends to be supportive.

And my closest group of friends, they were, and they were amazing all the way through it. But it was the wider thing of turning up to school and just never feeling like I could go anywhere or fit in without somebody saying something. It was when it became physical that I was a little bit like, okay, now this is, I remember I got rugby tackled on a field out at lunch one day and my wrists, I had to put my arm out, so then I couldn't die for a week

because I had injured my wrist, and then I was like, well, what am I going to, like, I can't just, like, allow that to happen. What happens if that happens again and it gets worse? You know, I never wanted anyone to get in the way of my diving. And that was the first time when it truly impacted what was happening in Nepal. And I couldn't keep those two worlds separate anymore.

Yeah. I think you're a little ahead of me as far as your kids in school. But that's the one thing I'm just so nervous about. I find with Robbie, now he's at school, I think they are very much a reflection of how you treat other people. And I think if, again, all their behaviors, in a sense, I guess, are learned by, like, who is able to say what to other people, how do you react if somebody is not doing well, how do you

react if somebody's hurt themselves, how do you react when, you know, and I think depending on how the parents react with their kids, they will react with the other people. So, like, I don't think you would have to worry too much. Right, right, right. You'll have to cross that bridge when you get to it. It reminds me of something else that I've been dealing with my son that your parents have dealt with with you, is that my son, Beckett, is not great about losing.

Like, we had to take him out of soccer because this idea that, like, the ball is not going the way that he wants it to go and that they're gonna score like that's the whole point of the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, he gets a little perturbed if like he loses the game and Yeah, this is a great part of the documentary of you were winning so much as a kid I don't know if it was your coach's idea, or your parents were like, they had you compete against the adults.

Basically the adults, so that you would lose, and you ended up winning that too. Yeah. That was the funny thing about the world of diving, is that it was the ones, it's kind of a sport where your size doesn't really impact how well you can perform

and do some of the dives. But I think for me, learning to lose was an incredible part of my learning to be an athlete. Because it's easy to win in terms of the mentality behind that, but it's incredibly difficult to lose. And learning to lose is probably the more important part about sport than it is about learning how to win. I think it's about in life.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Tom shares what pulled him out of retirement for one final Olympic dive and how a single piece of advice from his coach sparked an unexpected hobby. Okay, be right back. of advice from his coach sparked an unexpected hobby. Okay, be right back. All right, summer is here and although I'm working a lot in New York City this summer, I am already planning my next little getaway on my day off. I don't know if it's Provincetown

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Go to quince.com slash jtf for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's q u i n c e dot com slash jtf to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash jtf. And we're back with more dinners on me. Speaking of losing, the first Olympics that Lance came to was Rio, right? And you were at this point, I guess, 22? Yes, 22. And you had, individually, you had a really rough Olympics. I don't know if you would consider that the low point.

Oh, 100%. It was the lowest point in my career. And I might even go as far as to saying one of the lowest moments of my whole life, honestly. It was... Like, when you work for something for four years and you get to the day where it's meant to happen. And it all starts off so well, with an Olympic record in the prelim rounds,

winning and being like, okay, now I just gotta get through the semi-final and then into the final and it's all gonna be good. And it's gonna like, you know, this is, everything's aligned, this is feeling great. I was ready to go out there and win an Olympic gold medal. And that semi-final, it just fell apart. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did,

like, it just was not happening on that day. And I was in complete disbelief that it was even possible that I couldn't... wasn't gonna make the final. Like, it didn't come to my head, I was like, oh, no, it'll work out. Like, even if I mess up on my dive, someone else will mess up more, and, like, it'll be fine, said, oh no, it'll work out. Like even if I mess up my diet, someone else will mess up more and like,

it'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. And it just round after round after round after round, it just slowly started to deteriorate to the point where I didn't make final. I completely crashed out of the competition and I was so upset and distraught about the fact like I have to wait a whole another four years. How am I going to put myself back through that whole stress of training every day, all the sacrifices, to the point where like you go to an Olympics and it might not happen again. happen again.

But so as an athlete, you really have to go into a competition knowing that you might not, but learning to enjoy the ride. I mean, and what was, what do you think was different about your mindset in that Olympics in Rio? Yeah. Yeah. Well, so while going after that competition happened, I met up with Lance outside After that competition happened, I met up with Lance outside the pool and he said to me, maybe you weren't meant to win an Olympic gold medal here because

maybe your future kid is meant to see you win an Olympic gold medal. And my mentality there was diving was my identity. Diving was my be-all, end-all. It was everything I did. It was the only thing I thought about when I was eating, sleeping, drinking, training, whatever it was. It was diving, diving, diving was my life. And it wasn't until Tokyo happened, obviously it got delayed a year with the pandemic.

That was the following Olympics. The following Olympics in 2021 it ended up being. And I was then married. I had, we had Robbie. I'm standing on that diving board with a complete different perspective of, I'm more than a diver. And I think once I got to a point in my life

where I was old enough to realize that you're more than just what you do every day and not to put all of your self-esteem and self-worth into that identity as a diver. It almost freed me of the pressure and the expectation and the weight of that. And I was able just to, for the first time, go out and genuinely enjoy a competition.

Do you think standing on the edge of that diving board as the spouse of someone that you love and the father of a three-year-old. I mean, you just must have been a completely different person. Like, just emotionally... A completely different person. And I think... I feel like lots of people will say that becoming a parent will change...

I mean, it does. It changes you. It changes your brain chemistry. It changes the way that you think about everything, what decision you make first and how to do it. And I genuinely think that since becoming a parent, it allowed me to just be really diligent about doing the exact right things so that I could be back home with Robbie. And when you're home, there's no thinking about anything else on your own with the kids because it's chaos. And it's the best kind of chaos because it takes you completely out of your head and

thinking about diving and worrying about that because you've got to be there for them. Yeah. Yeah, and then you obviously did so well in that Olympics. I mean, you won a gold with your partner. Matty. Yeah. You know, I always knew that I could. I had to start to come to terms with the possibility

that I might not because I was getting older, you know, Beijing 2008, I knew I had loads of Olympics ahead of me. I had lots of time, whereas as I got older, the likelihood of going to another Olympics was diminishing and diminishing and diminishing until, you know, I felt like Tokyo was my last chance. But once I kind of stopped torturing myself through those Olympics, because in London and Rio, I wanted it so bad.

Like I wanted those medals and to win so badly that I couldn't get out of my own way. And it wasn't until Tokyo where I finally was able to get out of my own way and allow myself to enjoy it. Because when you're happy and you enjoy something, it's so much better. It's like back to the roots of what your dad instilled in you, just have a good time.

It was never about a medal. Never about a medal. And when it's never about a medal, you really truly are able to enjoy it. Yeah. Let loose and just like, and I think that was something that, and someone asked me the other day

what advice I would give to my younger self, and I actually think it's more the other way around. I feel like my younger self had a completely different outlook on what it meant to do things in everyday life and not care so much about, you know, the outcome of things but enjoying the process and actually enjoying the journey of it because, you know, as an athlete you never know whether you're gonna win or you're gonna lose and you if you don't enjoy the process and you

don't enjoy the journey it's you've already lost. Yeah, yeah. Where was Robbie watching? From Canada, actually. Lance was on a production that he was doing under the banner of heaven. He was in Canada filming. So he was out there with my mum and Robbie and, you know, he was... Did they have some sort of like a viewing party or were they at the house? It was 4am, 3am in Canada.

And everything went up? Yeah. So my mum and Lance were, and then going into the last round, they woke Robbie up because they were like, you know, he might... He wanted him to see the... So there's a video where Lance sees that I do a good dive and is like screaming at the TV. At four in the morning. At four in the morning. And Robbie is actually asleep on the sofa behind him because he was like and it's like screaming at the TV. At four in the morning. At four in the morning.

And Robbie is actually asleep on the sofa behind him because he was like, he's like, yeah, I'm passed out. He's like, what is going on? Yeah, had no idea what was going on. But again, those moments are crazy to have, like, documented forever. Yeah, totally. What was it like having that huge moment

but yet the stands were completely empty? And something that was lovely that had to happen because everyone was meant to keep a distance is you and Maddie had to put- Give each other our medals, yeah. Which I thought was really lovely. It was really special. I think we should keep doing that.

It was actually quite special that you got to do that. Yeah, it was a very weird thing to go to an Olympics where there is no one in the audience. They had like 20,000 seats there. They were all empty. The weirdest thing as well is they still did, you know like before a sporting event, they turn the lights off and they make it like do it.

They were still doing that. They were like, are you ready? And they were like, we're still in the hall. What are you talking to? But I do think there's part of it. Matty is my synchro partner in those games. He'd never been to an Olympics before, right? So going to an Olympic game for the first time

is an incredibly daunting experience. Whereas going to the Olympics for the first time without having that big crowd and that big audience, I don't know if that may have been a good thing. So it was like incredibly concentrated and focused, and there was no like extra like, but it was, I think the most surreal thing is that the fact that you could literally hear a pin drop,

it was that silent. So the reaction to a dive had never been more true because divers will only react well to a really good dive. If it's like a bad dive you kind of just get a... Yeah. Hi. Hi. Yeah, that's so good. We'll move on to the next. Yeah.

Great. Clear House, I've been to. Yeah, that's so good. We'll move on to the next. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Great. Actually, I want to skip ahead to Paris, because that was sort of, I mean, in some ways, it was a bonus because you had decided that you would retire after winning gold. I thought I was, I genuinely thought I was done.

You were like, I'm done. And then you had like another album in you. I just felt like I was the, you know, I always said I would keep going until I won an Olympic gold medal and then I did. Yeah. And I was like, okay, what comes next? While you're ahead.

Yeah. And then there was, you know, I took two years off, got to have a lot of, get to do all the things that I didn't necessarily have time to do when I was training. Which tell me what those things are. Oh gosh, just being able to leave the house and go to events that I, you know, stay up past 8 30 PM. Like, you know, like go to dinners, went to our first Met Gala, like all of those like

fun things that you like, I just would never have been able to take any time off training to go and do. And then yeah, when it was a year to go to the Harris Games, it would like, you know, I started to consider to go back into the, back into the pool because of my oldest son. He's already, yeah, exactly. Robbie's already used his token to get me back, an Olympic token. Hopefully Phoenix doesn't ask me in a couple years time.

Yeah, yeah, oh my God, yeah, right? So he said he wanted to go to the Olympics and see. Yeah, well, I was in, we were in Colorado Springs because that's where Phoenix was born. And they have the Olympic and Paralympic Museum there. And we went and it's, if you're ever in Colorado Springs, get a go, because it is really, really quite cool. And having gone through the whole museum at the end, they play this like movie video of

what it means to be an Olympian and what it takes to be an Olympian. And I got to the end of that film and I just was... Are you in it? No, no, no. But I was watching this about all these athletes and like what it meant to be there and how much work and effort. And I'm just crying, just thinking, oh my gosh, that was some of the best moments of my life, being able to travel, to see my teammates and friends that I've made over the years. And Lance looks to me and is like, oh no.

Yeah. He's like, I know what this means. And Robbie turns to me and is like, what's the matter, Papa? Like, what's going on? And I was like, you know, I just miss diving. I miss the, you know, being able to compete in the Olympics because that's what Papa used to do. And he was like, well, I want to see you dive at the Olympics.

And I was like. Well, you slept through the last one. Yeah, exactly. You slept through the last one. So maybe you have to, As long as you stay awake, maybe I'll have another go. And he's... And then before I knew it, I was like... I was driving home from the museum, and Lance was like, you okay, because you're driving incredibly slowly on this freeway.

I'm just like in the right lane, just like, you know, staring in front, kind of like contemplating life. And he was like, I know what this means. And he was like, and I was like, I don't know. I don't know if it means that. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should be doing this. And I don't know if I've got time to do this.

I'm with the kids and Phoenix is about to be born. And like, you know, so yeah yeah, so I sprung that on him with a newborn baby that I was gonna try and go back to the Olympics for one last go. So how much time did you have before the Olympics when you decided that you were gonna go? A year. A year.

And I mean, from many people a year, since like a long time, but like it's really, when you're training for the Olympics, I mean, you would use, and historically you would use all four of those years that you were off to prepare yourself. Yeah, so I basically started training in the July and needed to be ready in order to try

and qualify for the Olympics in January because if it hadn't happened in January, it would have been over. So it's six months of preparation. Six months of preparation to get to the point of qualifying and then once we qualified, I said, okay, now this is where the real journey begins. Okay, so in this point, you are living in Los Angeles.

Yes. First of all, if anyone's even remotely serious about diving, they know who you are. So what was it like when all of a sudden, like, Tom Daly's now training for possibly the next Olympics here at our local pool? Yeah, I mean, it was kind of odd, and I was very lucky that UCLA kind of, like,

welcomed me in to be able to train at the pool. My amount of training reduced dramatically. And it really gave me a balance between the training and then life and being able to be around for the kids, because I was only training for a way shorter amount of time than I ever used to. And I think that's something that has, I don't know, allowed me to see diving in a different way,

that it wasn't the main factor of my life. I'm wondering if like, in hindsight, if more of a balance in your younger years, and not, you know, it's focusing quite so much on just like being 24-7 at training mode, if that mentally would have maybe been healthier for you. 100%. Once you get to a certain point in your diving career,

especially in a sport like diving, in an endurance sport you kind of have to keep up with those levels of fitness. But in sports that are kind of like more skill-based, it really is about being in the competition, as fresh and as focused as possible. Not just train, train, train, train, train, and the more you do the better you're gonna get,

because that's not always the case. So I think that's something that towards the end of my career, I got a lot better about. And having that work life balance, if you like. And that's where, you know, in, it was before Tokyo is in the, like just at the beginning of the pandemic. That's one of the reasons why I took up knitting.

Cause I, it was my way of being able to sit still, rest, recover, escape. And knitting, which I loved. The camera was always finding you in the stands knitting during the Olympics that year. And it's something you found during COVID, right? Yes. It's something I learned. Yeah, right. Literally, it was about three weeks before we went into lockdown. And it was like- What made Yeah, right. Literally it was about three weeks before

we went into lockdown. And it was like- What made you, what drew you to that? And like, was there someone that you knew that had done it? Well, Jane, my coach, said to me that I don't sit still and I need to keep, like, find something to rest and recover over the weekends, rather than wandering around museums and markets

and, you know, explore, like, be still. Yeah. So then Lance, my husband, said to me, oh, you, like people on film sets, while they're waiting around, sometimes will knit as their way of being able to pass the time. And I was like, oh, knit? I was like, well, I mean, I'll give it a go.

So I ordered some yarn, some needles, and went on to like the YouTube university and watched some videos and taught myself how to knit and then there was some once I was knitting there was some other people around the world of diving that also knew how to knit so then they were helping me out and teaching me and then all of a sudden I became obsessed. I mean you graduated pretty quickly into some very like intricate things.

I've seen you, you've made your own Speedos. Yeah. You've, like, I mean. I've made anything and everything you can imagine. Yeah, yeah. I feel like one of my favorite things that I make for people is last minute gifts. Yeah.

I've made quite a few Willy Wormers. A Willy Wormer for your wee wee? Yeah. For your Willy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, there was one. I was like, could I make one of these? And I was like, my favorite thing about the instructions

on the thing was like, oh, you know, Willy Warmer, one size fits most. Yeah. I was going to say, do you have to check his size first? Yeah. I was like, yeah. Yeah, it's quite a thing. That's incredible.

I hope someday I'm the recipient of one of your Willy Womers. Yeah, okay. I'll make you a Willy Wommer. Thank you. Oh, wow. Look at that. That's gorgeous. So this is the spastic pork, the silk handkerchief, walnut creme, and the gnocchi, the struttas,

and the tomatoes. It's wonderful. Can we get any parmesan cheese? Maybe just some small plates. Parmesan cheese. Do you want cheese? I'm always against cheese. This looks so good.

I know. There's something about fresh-made pasta that is just delightful. Do you cook? I forget. Yes, I love to cook. We used to do a thing in London. Every Monday we'd do a Monday night dinner club where we'd cook for like 12 to 16 people every Monday.

You would just, you would cook everything? Yeah, I would do a starter and a main and get other people to bring desserts. Nice. Do you get pissed off when someone brings you like a packaged dessert from like a bakery? No, I'm like, whatever you, like I feel like it's interesting'm like, whatever you like.

I feel like it's interesting to see who does bring what. Like if somebody like has gone to a bakery and been thoughtful about what they've picked out or somebody made something at home or somebody has just, you know, bought a bag of candy. Like there's, it's very, very. Sometimes when people bring something that they've made, I'm like, oh, I wish you had actually gone to a bakery.

It's not great. Sometimes it can be a bit hit and miss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you hope to achieve in the next, like, 10 years? It's a good question because, like, if you had asked me 10 years ago, I'd be like, oh, to go and win an Olympic medal and another Olympic medal, whereas in 10 years' time, that's not going to be that easy.

I mean, now on, it's not the case. Now I have to think about goals beyond diving, and that's weird for me. I'd love to be able to say that I want to be able to get knitting and crochet and general crafting back into a school curriculum properly so that it teaches kids other forms of mindfulness and meditation that isn't just sitting down and doing breathing exercises, other ways to be, learn to be present and away from screens. That's one thing that I'd like to do. That's great.

I love that. So, yeah, we'll see. But, and then I also love to do, I just finished shooting a TV show called Game of Wall, which is basically Great British Bake Off, but for knitters. I saw you post something about this, right? Yes, so like we cut, like we're looking for people that wanted to be part of the cast and everything. So yeah, that's something that I'm really excited about.

I mean, we finished shooting the first series and it comes out either later this year or next year or something, but that's something I'm excited about. That's so exciting. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun to see what people can create. Sure. That sounds like it's right up my alley. The documentary, it's coming out. I mean, I guess

by the time that this podcast airs, it will be out. Yes. Where can people watch it? It's on, in the UK, it's Discovery Plus, and HBO Max within Europe, and then it is going to be on the Olympics channel currently in the US. Oh, fantastic.

Yeah. I mean, it's so well done, it's so special, and I just feel very lucky that you shared that with us. And obviously the filmmakers who helped put it together. I felt very privileged and grateful that you were sharing your life with the people that have been your champions for so long and fans of yours.

And I'm so glad that we're friends and we're buddies. And I want to hang out in LA. Yes, when you're back in LA, let's do it. We'll have you over for dinner. Yeah. I'll cook. This one's on me. Dinner's on me now and then you can cook. Yes, I will do that. I will bake something to bring.

Oh, lovely. Okay. This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Ben Colinet in Covent Garden, London. Next week on Dinners on Me, you know him from Bond films like Quantum of Solace and No Time to Die, and from TV on The Diplomat and Say Nothing. My Here We Are co-star, it's Rory Kinnear. We'll dive into Rory's awkward meet-cute with the big Hollywood director, his close connection with the original Willy Wonka, and the evolving ways he's made sense of grief over the years. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now

by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple podcasts to search your free trial today. Dinners On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me

and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our producer in the UK is Grace Laker. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans-Dale Sheik composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Klasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.