Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - TROIAN BELLISARIO — on dating Patrick J. Adams long distance while on hit shows and having her second child in a parking garage

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

‘On Call’ star Troian Bellisario joins the show. Over a le club sandwich and quiche, Troian tells me about growing up with a dad that was an ‘80s TV icon, playing a teenager on ‘Pretty Little Liars,’ and her second child’s birth story. This episode was recorded at Loupiotte Kitchen in Los Feliz, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The other day I was making lemonade with my sons Beckett and Sully and Beckett is a little bit of a perfectionist. I'm not sure where he gets that from. It's me. It's definitely me. But he was getting really upset about the seeds falling into the juice and it was turning into a bit of high drama. Now listen, there's an easier way to do this. Who knew? Wonderful seedless lemons are a 100% naturally seedless lemon variety. They're juicy, zesty, bright, and everything you love about lemons minus the seeds. That's right, no more seeds floating in your lemonade or diet coke or getting caught in your teeth when you take a bite of salad. Frankly,

that's just a hazard. Wonderful Seedless Lemons are available nationwide at retailers such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Walmart, Kroger, as well as select Costco outlets. Look for Wonderful Seedless Lemons at your local retailer or visit wonderfulseedlesslemons.com to learn more. Hey, it's me, Jon Lovett, host of Love It or Leave It, America's number one late night political gay live comedy podcast. Each week I break down the biggest and dumbest stories in politics to help you keep up with and laugh at the news. It's amazing to think how much the show has changed.

We're always pushing to make sure that we're doing a show you can't find anywhere else. And this season, that's what I hope you'll find not only in the jokes at the top of the show, but also in the interviews and segments we'll be doing with an incredible lineup. I guess I'm really excited to talk to you. Listen to episodes of Love It or Leave It every Saturday or watch on YouTube or come to a live show in LA. You'll be amazed by what we cut. Hi, it's Jesse.

Today on the show, you know her from Pretty Little Liars and her latest Amazon Prime series, On Call. It's Troy and Belisario. I started anamorphing into a full feral animal in the front seat of the car. Yeah, howling. Yeah, because you were giving birth. Because I was giving birth.

This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. The hair and makeup team is the heartbeat of almost every television and film set. It's the first stop for the actors, usually at a painfully early hour of the morning, where we roll out of bed and into the chair to be transformed.

It's also where some of the best conversations happen in the hair and makeup trailer. One of my favorite parts of any work day is settling into that chair, coffee in hand, mask patches under my eyes, and more often than not, red dye in my beard. Yes, without a little maintenance, my red beard is actually pretty gray.

Some of my most memorable chats happened in the Modern Family hair and makeup trailer, surrounded by the talented cast that I love so much. I remember one morning, in particular, listening to Sofia Vergara, Sarah Hyland, and Eric Stonestreet passionately dissect the latest episode of their new favorite show, Pretty Little Liars. They were obsessed, insisting that I had to start watching immediately.

But for whatever reason, I never did. There's only so much TV one can fit into a week, and my plate was already very full with RuPaul's Drag Race, Raising Hope, The Walking Dead, and Downton Abbey. Flash forward more than a decade and I finally watched the pilot of Pretty Little Liars, but only because I became friends with one of its stars, Troian Bellisario. Our paths crossed thanks to her husband, Patrick Adams, my co-star in the Broadway revival

of Take Me Out. Patrick was also a guest on Dinners on Me a few months ago, giving us the rare chance to have bookended conversations with a couple I greatly admire. Though Troy and I have spent countless hours together in group settings, we've never had one-on-one time until now. And I was so thrilled to take her out for a meal, chat about her Amazon Prime show on call and finally confess just how late I was to discovering the show that launched her career. Pretty little liars.

Hi. I'm excited, am I coming to the club? You're gonna live in there. Hello, hello. I brought Troy and Belisario to Lupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz. It's in its fifth year serving the neighborhood, and the cafe is run by local filmmakers

Ben Proudfoot, Brandon Sommerhalder, and David Boland, who also collaborate next door at the Oscar-winning Breakwater Studios. Lupiette Kitchen feels like a little Parisian escape with cozy tables, warm lighting, and the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to linger over a latte and some of their beloved soft scrambled eggs. It's got this charming French vibe and it's right in her neighborhood. I thought, why not break bread with Troy

over a little slice of Paris in her own backyard? Okay, let's get to the conversation. Are you in a press tour today? I was this morning, I was on K-Cal TV and I had these really big, like, diamondy earrings. And I was like, I'm gonna take these off. And right before I left, I, like, diamondy earrings. And I was like, I'm gonna take these off, and right before I left, I was like, I can't take these off.

And I was kind of doing that panic thing. Have you ever? Why, what do you mean you can't take them off? I couldn't figure out how to take them off. There were safety buttons. Wait, now why would, oh, as I say, how would you get stuck in earrings? Exactly, why would you ever get stuck in earrings?

That's the dumbest thing in the world. Do they really, like? There is a safety release, but you can't see it behind your earlobe. Cause if it's a diamond, you don't want to fall out. Yes, exactly. And I just never had fancy enough earrings that they have their own safety release button.

That's hilarious. Yeah. So, first time I've driven. You deserve those earrings. Jane Lynch, one year when she was hosting the Emmys, we were walking out with her and I was like, you did so incredible. And she was like, really distracted. She's like, I'm walking out with her, and I was like, you did so incredible, and she was really distracted.

She's like, I'm just really upset right now. I was like, why you did incredible? She's like, no, I lost a pair of million dollar earrings that were put on her, and she was nervous about owing money. Can you imagine? I mean, that's terrifying. Every time that they've put something on me and they're like, by the way,

this has its own security guard. And you're like, what? Why are you giving it to me? Don't. Please don't put this on me. Plus, I like to roll so, I like the lowest profile. I don't want to roll with anyone. I barely seem to want to go anywhere with Justin.

So I don't want a security guard following me too. Yeah, totally. Or just following your wrist around for the cufflinks. Exactly, that's really all they care about. I've never worn anything that expensive that required one, but I've been tempted to. I mean, always. I'm starving because I just did a Pilates class.

Oh yeah, well then let's get some food in you. So I'm starved. Let's see, I'm definitely doing something with eggs. I have to, sorry. I, oh, remember, hit your spot, hit your mark. Oh hi. So have you guys dined with us before? Yes, we have been a long time ago. Excellent, all right well welcome back.

Some new exciting adjustments to the menu. So give it a look, see if you have any questions, let me know. I definitely want some coffee, but I also want something refreshing and bubbly. Oh, we could do both. Is your lemonade sparkling? It's not, it's actually homemade.

Ooh. Yeah. I'll do it. Squeeze it on the premises. I want Primus Squeeze lemonade, and I'm also gonna have some sparkling water as well. All right. I'll do the same thing. I'll do the same thing,

and maybe we can make it sparkling. Great, so two lemonades and a big sparkling water for you guys? Yeah, we'll show that sparkling water. Sure, yeah. I'll be right back with that. Thanks. Thank you. Ooh, I'm gonna have to know what that cake of the day is too.

Okay, so what are you thinking of getting? I think I might go with, I do love a club sandwich, but the quiche is sounding really good too. I'm happy to get the quiche if you want a bite of the quiche. I just want a bite of it. Yes, then you get it. I'm gonna to get the quiche if you want a bite of the quiche. I just want a bite of it. Yes, then you get it. I'm gonna do the club.

Yeah, I was thinking we never have had quality time together, so this is finally. It's very, very exciting. Last time I saw you, I did not get any quality time with you because it was at your incredible boxing day party. Oh my God, thank you so much for coming to that and enduring the madness.

So last year we came and we had to leave before White Elephant. The game. The game. So I wasn't prepared for how insane your White Elephant gets. You weren't? So to explain White Elephant,

everyone brings a wrapped gift, usually under like $20 or $30 or something. And what I always seem to remember is that it's usually something ridiculous that you want to get rid of. But with your group, it was really great stuff. When we decided to throw a boxing day party, I think the first year was last year. We were like, well, let's do a white elephant.

Both of us were like, what is a white elephant? Yeah, yeah, yeah, look up the rules. Yeah, so we had to look up the rules. And so that everybody kind of comes with their own idea, which is sometimes you want to do a total joke, and then other people will bring very, very nice things. Your gifts were lovely. A Taylor Swift sweater.

Yes, which was a very, very desired item. The person who won that item left the room so it couldn't be stolen. Yeah, it was a little bit dodgy, I will say. She fully went missing, which is totally inappropriate, because there were several young girls in that room as well that just totally got shafted. Yeah, that's right, there was children playing

and adults playing, and the person that won the Taylor Swift sweater was an adult. Firmly an adulthood, and then just roast it. Yeah, she was like, oh no. And people were sort of saying, where's that Taylor Swift sweater? I'd like to maybe steal it, because it's part of the game, you can steal gifts

for a little while until they get locked. You're supposed to steal gifts. You're supposed to, right. And then the other big ticket item was the chicken purse, which did get called back into the room. Yes, that's right. I brought the chicken purse as well. You did?

Yeah, that was my gift as well. These are amazing gifts. Yeah, it was so fun, but I did not get to see you at all that night. So this is making me happy to see you. I'm very, very excited. I know you are promoting your new show. Have you seen On Call?

Have you seen all eight episodes? I have, yes. What do you think? I mean, this is a, it's Dick Wolf. It's a cop show, it's Dick Wolf. But it's like the king of. He's the king of procedurals. And, but it's 30 minutes only.

Oh. Yeah, it's a half hour drama. And it's kind of like, you know, procedural, you got to solve the case by the end of the episode. And this one is really just about two cops kind of going from call to call to call. And there are long standing, like, through lines of the characters that, you know, there's one major thing that happens that some of the crimes have to do with,

but it's not like we close an episode and have solved a crime. We can't solve crime, we're beat cops. Right. So it's a little bit more of like an episodic character-driven thing, which is really out of the box for Dick Wolf productions. For sure, yeah.

It's crazy, it's so fast-paced, and it's really a huge change for me. Totally different. Totally different. I mean, did you have to, I mean, from what I watched, I mean, you're using firearms, and you know you're running around,

and bulletproof vestsests and I mean, was there training that was involved? Yeah, but it was super fast, even though it was bizarre because it was like we were cast, we were up and shooting like two weeks later, maybe a week and a half. So we got training in there as best we could. And then we were kind of doing, you know, trial by fire.

Like, do you remember what to say? Do you remember how to stand? So it was a really wonderful experience and it was just also so new for me to be, A, playing somebody my age. I know, I wanna talk about that. Yeah, that was a big change. And playing somebody that's totally,

like Pretty Little Liars was entirely glam. You know, it was all about the makeup, all about the clothes, all about the hair, and the drama within that container. And this was like, you know, they do not give a shit about. All right, are we ready to order some food to start with? Yes. Yes. Do you wanna go first?

Yeah, sure. I'm gonna do the Le Club, please. Excellent choice. I'm going to the le club, please. Excellent choice. I'm going to do the vegetarian quiche du jour. Okay. To the spinach and goat cheese one. Absolutely, it also comes with some zucchini, if that's okay. That's great.

Fantastic. All right, I'll put those in. You wanna hold onto the menus? Yes, please. Before I talk about Pretty Little Liars, I wanna, your dad was also heavily involved in like, Magnum PI was it? Mm-hmm.

Was he the, what capacity was he? So he was, so for Magnum PI, for Airwolf, Quantum Leap, NCIS, JAG, this other show that was first lived, short lived, it called First Monday, like all of those shows were his creations. Wow. Wrote, produced, directed some episodes, short lived, it called First Monday, like all of those shows where his creations wrote, produced, directed some episodes, but yeah, created. So like when we're talking about your dad

and someone like Dick Wolf, like they're of this, like kind of, do they know each other? Were they competitors? So I asked my dad about this, because they are like neighbors in Montecito, and it is sort of hilarious because I, so Elliot Wolf is one of our executive producers, our writers and our showrunners of On Call.

So Elliot being Dick's son, I like have sat down with him and I'm like, can we talk about our dads and just compare childhoods? And they do know each other. They have like passed, like they've not really ever had like a sit down meeting, but there are a lot of like bizarro Venn diagram things. That we found.

I mean, both of them created massive shows in kind of similar genres at similar times. Totally. I mean. I mean like eighties TV. Yeah. Like dominate. Can I pour you some of this? Oh yes, thank you. I think that's really fascinating. It is really weird.

But like for my dad, it's, cause he's always been working on so many things. Like I'll, I remember when I was first on Pretty Little Liars and I was like living at my dad's house because I had just graduated college. So I didn't really have enough money to move out on my own.

So I was living in my childhood bedroom for the first season. Are you serious? Oh my God, I love that. Until I moved in with Patrick, thank God. I moved in with Patrick. But there were some moments when I would leave my childhood bedroom to go to set.

To play a teenager. To play a teenager, and I would come home my childhood bedroom to go to set. To play a teenager. To play a teenager and I would come home and have dinner with my dad and he was like, how was set today? And like we would compare, when I told him, I was like, oh, he would ask me what the Nielsen rating for the show was. He'd be like, so what's your rating?

Like what's going on? And I would tell him and he's like, okay, that's good. And then he would like look up his Nielsen rating. I was like, this is, I have to get out of here. That is bonkers. Yeah, I have to get out of here. That is bonkers. Yeah, it was pretty bonkers, but. It's so funny, because as an artist,

I never want to know that stuff, but sometimes it would get thrown in my face. Like, people would be talking about ratings. But to go home and have a parent who literally is part of that world as an executive and is a showrunner and a creator, like, I mean, that's gotta be so wild. Your parents were both pretty protective of you.

You had to earn your way in. Oh yeah, well first of all, his big thing, both him and my mother were, I wasn't allowed. So your mother was an actress? Yes, my mother was primarily an actress and then when she had me and then she came on and started creating Quantum Leap with my dad, they were co-creators and writers,

and then she kind of moved over more into the writing, directing, producing side. But their big thing for me was you are not allowed to leave school, and you're not allowed to, you have to graduate college before you can do any of this. So it was really like wonderful.

I got to go on a few auditions and do a few things when I was younger, but I was never allowed to like take a series or even audition for something like that. So it wasn't until I fully graduated college that they were like, great, join the workforce, like get out there. So that was really cool.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Troyan talks to me about what it was like to play a teenager alongside actual teenagers and pretty little liars and how she and now husband, Patrick J. Adams managed the early days of their relationship while working in different countries. Okay, be right back.

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where host David Yontiff interviews all of your favorite Real Housewives and Bravo celebrities. Plus, he dishes the dirt seven days a week. That's Behind the Velvet Ro rope on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. Well, it's interesting because, you know, you were just saying, you, with Pretty Little Liars, you were working with people

who were substantially younger than you. Yes. But you had already had the experience of going to school and I know Sasha, tell me how to say her last name. Sasha Petersa. Say her last name? Petersa. Is it Peterson?

Petersa. Sorry, it is so- In my head it's like a French name. You said Peterson, I was like what? I know, Petersa, it's very difficult to pronounce. Petersa. Petersa. Petersa.

Now I feel like I'm saying it wrong. I'm so sorry, Sasha. No, you're saying it right. I think it's Peter-sa. Peter-sa. Sasha, yeah, yeah. She's gonna call me after this and be like, Pierre, to say.

Well, no, actually, I worked with her. She's so lovely. She's the best. We did a movie called Ivy and Bean Together. I didn't actually get to have any scenes with her, but I met her on set and she's so lovely. And the first thing she said to me when she met me, she's like, I'm really good friends with Trion.

But she, when she started, when you started the show, she was over a decade younger than you and you guys were playing contemporaries. It's crazy. That is wild to me. It is wild. And we, she, she was lying at the time. So she told me, because I was 23,

I had just turned 24, maybe, yeah, and she had said that she was 14. And how old were the characters? We were 16 and we would do flashbacks to 15 or something. And, or no, maybe we started at 15 flashbacks to 14, then it would like go from there. And it turned out she was 11 and a half. Oh?

Yeah. My God. That bitch. I didn't know, and so at the table read, I knew she was, I thought she was 14. Actually, the table read, I didn't know. I thought she was in her 20s. What? Yep.

Oh my God, talk about versatility. She was insane, because she was just so like, mature in the ways. What? Yep. Oh my God, talk about versatility. She was insane, because she was just so mature in the way she carried herself. So anyways, I told her in the bathroom after we did the first table read, I was like, God, it was so crazy. You brought me back to the Mean Girls in eighth grade. And she was like, oh, thanks.

And I didn't realize she was yet to be eighth grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just wild. That is unbelievable to me. Yeah. Had you already met Patrick by the time you started? I had. So you were like in a serious relationship,

well, early, but. Yeah, ish. I mean, as serious as you can be when you're like 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 27 or something. Well, it turned out to be pretty serious. I mean, you're still married. It turned out to be pretty serious.

With two kids. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're in such a different place. But I was in such, especially because the first year, Patrick and I were trying to working out whether or not we were in a relationship. And then he got suits. And then it was like the first year of him being in suits

and me being on the second year of PLL, we were pretty much in a solid, committed, long distance relationship. So I would shoot PLL andL on Friday night or Saturday morning after we worked a Friday, get on a flight to go see him. Friday. Watch the sun come up on Warner Brothers. I never heard that term.

The people who told me about it, we never had. You never had a Friday, did you? The people who told me about Friday was the cast of Glee, because we were all at the same time and they were like, have you guys, do you ever have Friday? I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. That's when you work because we were all at the same time, and they were like, have you guys, what, do you ever have Friday days? I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about.

But like, that's when you work, you're called at like, the afternoon on a Friday, and you work until Saturday morning. I was like, are you kidding me? I can't believe, I mean, of course on your show, like you wouldn't, well you have kids on the show, and like, you don't need to, because you were working those amazing hours.

Yeah, we worked great hours. So you were working really, really hard on that show. Yeah, I learned from Pretty Little Liars, which is stupid because now I'm on another show which shoots mainly at night. But like, I was like, never take a vampire show and never take a team mystery show because you are always working at night on a Friday.

Yeah, it's so true, it's so true. I am fascinated to talk to you about that, because, you know, Patrick, you know, he talked a lot about those seven years. Yeah. It's one thing to, like, have a long-distance relationship. It's another thing to do it as actors. It's another thing to do it while you're working and both have steady jobs.

I mean, it's sort of a testament to how much, I think, probably work you put into it, but commitment to one another. Because you're also still getting to know each other at this time. Oh, totally. I mean, I find it really, because I was looking at the timeline of your relationship,

it's like, oh, you guys were together for a long time before you got married. It's like, that's because you were working and having a long distance relationship. Totally. We always used to joke that the number of in-room hours is real low. We're basically just dating. Totally. We always used to joke that the number of in room hours is real low. We're basically just dating.

Yeah. And sometimes what we came to give ourselves, the permission to do, is sometimes you would see each other and just have a fight. You always imagine when you're in a long distance relationship, we're gonna have this incredible weekend together and it's gonna be romantic

top to bottom and you're gonna have sex in every room and you're only gonna eat the finest of food and it's like I would land, we'd both be exhausted, we'd immediately pick a fight with each other and then it was like, then we were just, like well what do we do now? You know, like I guess we go eat, you know? And then slowly, you'd like make up,

and you'd be like, oh my God, I really love this person, and then you'd go on a plane, yeah. Do you ever feel like when you come back, like, there's almost like a getting to know you process again, like, for sure. It's not, I've always found that so bizarre, like, I guess, it's like. Yes, yeah. We call it the reentry period. Yeah. You know, cause you are, well, like I guess. Yes, yeah, we call it the re-entry period.

Yeah. You know, because you are, well, you've been living apart, so you've been living on your own and you form your own habits. Like when he comes home from shooting on location, does he take his coffee the same way? You know, maybe I've gotten used to waking up and going for a run and like all of a sudden

there's somebody in my bed that I wanna spend time with, but I'm like, well, this is what I do, and that's really hard to navigate with the kids. Yeah. Can I ask you, when you go do, because I haven't done theater since our kids were born, and you obviously have done a lot, what's it like doing theater when kids,

because it's just so weird, actually, I have friends, they're just like, I can't believe we were maniacs that were doing theater until 11 p.m. Troy, when eight o'clock comes and I know people are getting on stage and I'm getting into bed, I'm like, how? How do you do it? I'm about to do two plays next year.

I don't know how I'm gonna do it. What happens to your schedule? It's, everything's upended. And what happens to your schedule? Like, what? It's, everything's upended. I mean, being on stage and that process of getting to be on stage, just that rehearsal process, is so demanding that it really does

leech out any energy you have, and it's really hard. It's why I'm grateful that there are short runs with theater. Yes. And that it's just something that you put your head down and I love doing it so much, I make it work. And also the payoff of like then getting to have the days free with my kids is so wonderful. That is awesome.

And you know, also I got to bring Becca to the theater and like he got to stand on a Broadway stage and like ask questions about, you know, all the props and that was so exciting for him. That's so cool. You were just talking about theater. Was the last thing that you did on stage the play that you met Patrick in or?

No, it was actually hilariously another play that I was with Patrick in. But that was the last thing I did on stage, which was a play called The Last Match. It was like the tennis play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he told me about this, yeah. That's where he had his infamous panic attack. Yeah, so I had just graduated college.

He had, you know, we'd both just gone to USC, but we didn't know each other at USC. And we met, started falling in love with each other, and then I had to leave that show to go shoot the pilot of Pretty Little Liars. And so I was really devastated because I actually thought I was like falling in love with this guy and I was like and I was falling in love with the show and I really wanted to do theater and so it was kind of an amazing thing to me when I came back and we started a relationship. It was really surprising to me, very exciting for me.

And then later when we did the last match, that was when he had his first panic attack. How long had you, so you'd been together for? Oh my God, we just had our anniversary, hold on. It's eight years married, 15 years together? Oh wow. Again, in the room, three tops. Exactly.

We're such young lovers. Yeah, honeymoon phase. What was your reaction? Did you know that something was going on with him when that happened? So it was really, I wish that I had, when I look back on the first time it happened, because he says to me,

I don't know if you remember in the conversation you had with him, he started having it on stage, and then I came on to do maybe our first scene together, and he said he remembered with his eyes, begging me to stop the show, or just begging me to do something, but I'm in a scene with him. Like I don't, and I remember in the scene,

I think I'm like telling him that I'm pregnant and like all of it. So there's like a lot of emotions for me. And I just like walk off the stage and then I'm like going on with the play. And it wasn't until I think intermission that he came back and he was like, did you not see that I was like dripping sweat and I am dying up here?

And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And it was horrible because it's not even like you're dealing with somebody who's dealing with an injury. And you can have sympathy, but you can't have empathy because you're not in the panic with them. And so when they're going through something, whether it's, thank you, perfect timing for Vegekish. Yeah, right.

When they're going through something, Vegekish. Oh, thank you. Not right now, thanks. Oh, thanks. Just so you clip this. Oh, there's some. Yeah, do you have any? One second.

Yeah, it's... It's like, how do you tell them you're gonna be okay? Because they literally, they feel like they're gonna be okay because they literally, they feel like they're having a heart attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can't tell someone not to panic. It's like telling someone not to be depressed or not to be angry.

Like you can't deny their feeling. You can just sit with them and say, I'm here. And the other thing that I will say is like, I think because I don't know if you and Justin did this, but like I have a very like sympathetic nervous system. Mm, yes. Do you do that too? And so I'll notice like if Patrick will come into a room

and he's anxious, I suddenly am like, oh why do I wanna throw up? Like it's just like immediate. Same. Yeah, so it can be. I'm so tied into that. So tied in and so it's painful, but you don't know how to help them move through it.

Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I think that's just part of why, you know, if people find each other who have that connection, it's such a, marriage can be such a wonderful thing. Or just any sort of partnership, because you have that person who can really, intuitively just know. Yeah.

You must have been, not to talk about Patrick, we're gonna stop talking about Patrick after this, by the way, but you must have been so proud of him to see him conquer that fear and stand on stage on Broadway, you know, doing a play that not only required nudity, but like self, direct address to an audience. Direct address, opening the play. Opening the play.

And also being brilliant in it. It was so like I could cry talking about it, because when he was telling me about all of these things, all of the panic and the anxiety, and he was genuinely afraid, what if I never can do theater? And so to watch him up there was the most incredible thing because like you said,

when he's having a panic moment, it doesn't. You don't know. You don't know. That's why I'm so glad to hear that you were like, literally looking in his eyes because I had no scenes with him. Yeah. Until the very end of the play. So I would always just watch him on the monitor backstage,

which was a grainy television set from like 1972. But to actually be on stage and not even know. And you're obviously very, at that point in time, you were very connected to him. So I'm glad to know that I'm not crazy in thinking that he was hiding it incredibly well. You know, there's a whole storm going on, you know. Now for a quick break, but don't go away.

When we come back, Troyan tells me she too feels like an imposter sometimes, a health hazard on the set of Pretty Little Liars, and a labor story that truly seems right out of a movie. Okay, be right back. MSNBC presents a new original podcast hosted by Jen Psaki. Okay, be right back. As you look to kind of where the Democratic Party is, do you think it's more a messaging issue, more a policy issue? The Blueprint with Jen Psaki. New episodes drop every Monday. Listen now. texting and stuff, and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz.

Switch today, conditions apply, details at fizz.ca. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. You've talked a lot about having anxiety as well, and that must be something you two have connected on. I mean, something that Patrick and I talk about a lot is imposter syndrome. And I was surprised to hear that you also feel like you, you know, suffer from that as well,

because I feel like you do everything really well. And you throw yourself at so many things. I mean, I appreciate that, but I wonder if that's like a part of it, you know? That kind of feeling of never, never rest. Like never sit back and take it for granted. Like I, yeah, every day, on this too, like on On Call, I would show up every day and do every take,

and afterwards I was like, okay, they're coming over, and they're not just gonna give me a note, they're gonna tell me like, this was a horrible mistake and I don't know what you think you're doing here, but this isn't working. You also, I mean, I'm about to, well I've been asked to direct a feature film. You have? In the fall.

What? Yeah, I'm having a hard time like, fully embracing it because I know like, a million things could happen. But I've been thinking about you a lot because I feel like you switch roles so effortlessly. Like you've written so many great things, you've directed so many great things,

you've acted in the things that you've directed and written. Like I wanna know, like where did that confidence come from? Or is that just all like faking it until you make it? Definitely a lot of that. But a lot of it mostly came from Liars, who was primarily an actor, and then she transferred into being a director. And I was like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm, I mean, I had a really wonderful director on Pretty Little Liars who was primarily an actor and then she transferred into being a director. And she was like real honest with me. She was like, you're young now, you won't be young forever. And sometimes when you're not so young, it's harder to get in front of the camera. So she was like, learn how to do this. And that really stayed with me in terms of just like, be able to do everything because like we talked about earlier, it's very, very lucky to get to go from job to job to job.

And sometimes in my experience, my career, I've had to make most of my jobs happen. Yeah, yeah. So that's why for me me the writing, the directing, that's all kind of come out of a I want to work and I know it's statistically not going to always be in front of the camera. There's just so many days I remember showing up to work

on Modern Family and I'd be like, I know this scene is really complicated, there's like a million people involved and we'd be blocking it and I would just be thinking, I am so glad I'm not in charge of having to direct all this, and now I'm like, I'm gonna be that person. And I'm excited by that challenge, and terribly nervous, I have a lot of imposter syndrome,

because I've also never directed anything before. At least not on that level. Here's my advice to you. Please. Okay, acting, it's gonna be great. You will be great talking to actors because you understand what they're going through. You will have endless amounts of sympathy.

You just walk in and you get to be purely intellectually creative. Yeah. So that's really freeing. Yeah. The thing that I learned, and this is only from doing a short film, directing a short film versus the episodes of television

that I've directed, the buck stops with you and it starts with you. Yeah. And that is overwhelming. It's like, I think, what was that? Was it Nine? That musical that Daniel Day-Lewis was in? Uh-huh, yeah. Yeah, right?

And Judi Dench is like, she's like, what is it being a director at saying yes this, no this, yes this, no this, yes, you know? Yeah. And I think about that a lot because you have to know, you have to have an answer. It doesn't matter if it's the right answer or if it's a good answer, but you have to have an answer for everything.

Yeah. And everybody's gonna turn to you. And I remember the first time I was shooting my short film, which was like, literally we shot it in our house. It was like me and five other people. It couldn't have been more low stress. And somebody like turned to me and asked me a question about a shirt.

Like, should it be red or blue? And they were like, well, what's your color palette? And I was like, no, what? Like I just hadn't thought about it because I'd always had a wardrobe department that was working on their own kind of like, you know what I mean? Like, well, it's gotta be blue

because this is her palette and this is, and I just hadn't thought about that at all. And so I constantly was kind of like overwhelmed by all of the possibilities of like, you haven't thought about this. So I would say like, just get in the habit of really getting in everybody's business. Get with all of your keys and like,

no question is too small, no idea is too silly, to be like, I really love this texture for this character. Like it all feeds your ideas. And that's what you have to do as a director. That's great advice. Now, I'm excited. I'll let you. I wanna hear more about this when you are ready to share.

You know, I just wanna mention one thing that I wanted to say earlier. When I first heard about Pretty Little Liars, it was in the hair and makeup trailer of Modern Family, because Eric Stone Street and Sofia Vergara weren't obsessed with it. No, they weren't. Yes, they were.

They came in and they would like talk about it nonstop. And I feel like you have got, and Eric's like, you've got to watch the show, you've got to watch the show. And I don't know why I never got around to watching it, but I started watching it, I guess after I met you. And like I, I, I, yeah. So I was late to the game.

I haven't gotten, I haven't finished it, but there are spoilers alerts that I've learned about just from doing the research that I'm like, this show, I got thrown into the, I was like, you have an evil twin? Bananas. She's British, by the way. She's British.

I was like, I am definitely gonna catch up, because there's so many things that I feel like, I know too much now. I have to see how it all comes together. It's like, someone gave me all the ingredients, I was like, that can't make a pie. Yeah, you were like, this isn't scene. And they're like, no, it does, it's gonna make a pie.

I'm like, okay, I gotta see how this pie has made. Yeah, it's really wild. There are genuinely plot twists that I'm sure, if you told me about, I would be like, I don't remember that happening. How did that happen? That's so funny. Because it was so circuitous, Scooby-Doo, you know what I mean?

Like, it was, everybody was a bad guy at one point. It's so, it's such a wild time capsule for me, you know? And every time I do see a little bit, I really have not rewatched any of it, but I'll often see pictures on social media, and I'm just like, that's insane. Because along with each one of those pictures, and I'm sure you do this with Modern Family,

you have a vivid memory of what it was like to shoot that day, maybe what even was going on in your personal life. And some pictures you're like, I don't remember that day at all. Yes. Oh yeah. Zero recollection. Like what was I doing? Remember just feeling, did you have this?

Cause you guys shot a lot of the same sets, right? Yep. I mean, did you have that feeling that your home was like your home? Yes, yeah. I mean, I slept on every surface of Spencer's kitchen, living room, bedroom. Like the number of naps I actually took

in Spencer's bed was weird. Oh, I have to have a role coming out of the show soon, so I'm gonna have to remind him about this. But he, and on his set, he would hide things in cabinets and then forget about them. And then like literally 11 years later, he would open up a cabinet and there'd be like a moldy cup of like, he's like,

oh, I remember putting that back in season two, like a fully moldy coffee cup. Oh my God, that's a nightmare. Just like artifacts. Yes, artifacts. Yeah, we had, hilariously for that, there was a jar of granola on Spencer's counter from season one until season seven.

And our running joke was like, when we wrap, somebody's gonna have to eat that. And we got the pot up to like, I think nobody would go, cause nobody actually wanted to. So I think we got it to like $300, I think nobody would go, because nobody actually wanted to. So I think we got it to like $300, but nobody would take it. Yeah, it's basically mummified granola.

I also, can we please touch on the insane way that Elliot, your second came into this world? Oh, sure. Yeah, it's still insane. It's still insane. I cannot wait till she's old enough for you to tell it to her.

Well, she, I mean, she has heard the story. She does not compute the story. Of course not. No, but if you tell her, you say, Elliot, where were you born? She says, in the car. In the car. But what's crazy to me is that Patrick was away working.

Yes. I mean, it seems, and I feel like when you were telling me this the first time, that you were really like, your body was like, not yet, not yet, not yet. Yeah. I'm gonna wait until Patrick gets back. Just like, so. So the first time when I was pregnant with Aurora,

and I guess this happens with a lot of women, first time is like, she was fully a week late. And so I had the experience of poor Patrick who had never become a dad before. He stared at me for seven days like I was a goddamn bomb. And I was like, you gotta stop looking at me. Like, it was like every time we would like go out to eat and he was like, this might be our last meal.

It's children free. And I was like, you have to stop. Like, I can't handle this. It was just so much pressure. And then, so when the second time around with Elliot, he was gonna take a job. And the weird thing about the jobs during COVID, especially because it was a job in Canada,

was that you had to do that 10 day quarantine. And then if you left, so let's say I went into labor early and he was like, I'm getting on a flight. You have to re-quarantine. You literally would have to re-quarantine. And he was doing it, so let's say I went into labor early and he was like, I'm getting on a flight. You have to re-quarantine. You literally would have to re-quarantine. And he was doing it, it was a very small film. And so he would not have,

you would have completely blown their film. They didn't have the budget to extend for that time. So it was kind of one of those things where it was like a big risk for the film. And we were talking to my OBGYN and he was like, okay, so when does Patrick come back? And I was like, four days before my due date. And he was like, uh-huh. And I was like, yeah, but Aurora was so late,

like I'm probably gonna be late again. And did you have a discussion with Patrick, like you might miss the birth? Or was that like not even talked about? It was never even acknowledged. Because he was like, should I not do this? And I was like, no, you're not gonna miss the bird. I think I just straight up willed it.

That's a very me thing to do. I'm just like, it's not happening. You're gonna make it back and it'll be fine. It was the week before her due date and it's like three days before he's supposed to come home and I start having, I think they're Braxton Hicks contractions, which are practice contractions basically. So I'm just like laying in bed at night

and it's me and Aurora, Aurora's two at the time, and my mom was supposed to come over once Patrick came home so that if I needed to go to the hospital, she could watch Aurora. And Patrick was like, do you think maybe your mom should come over? And I was like, no, totally fine, because I don't need to go to the hospital anytime soon. And he was like, okay, whatever you say, babe.

And as the days got closer, I realized that I was just, I think, like, willing Elliot to stay inside my body. I was just like I think, willing Elliot to stay inside my body. I was just like, this is not happening. And then he landed at, he landed at like, I don't know, 10 or something, crawled into bed at midnight exactly, and hugged me and passed out, and then I went into labor four hours later.

Wow. Yeah. Because I, I mean mean I'm sure the, whatever it was, you know, the oxytocin or like whatever it was from that hug, just knowing like I'm safe. Yeah. It's okay now, I don't have to keep waiting. Your body released a little bit, yeah absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, so. And then it was a mad dash. Wasn't quite a mad dash cause again, I was still very stubborn. I crawled, I crawled into the bathroom and I remember he like kind of woke up at 430 and was like, where, what are you doing? And I was like, don't worry about it.

And I went into the bathroom and I just sat in the shower for two hours, maybe sat in the shower. And I was pretty much fully in labor, but with Aurora, it had been 27 hours. And so I told Patrick, I was like, you just got home. We know it's gonna be a day. So like, just get some sleep and I'll be fine. And then at around 6.30, I was like, okay, yeah, we should definitely go to the hospital.

And so we get in the car, we were calling our doula, calling our doula, calling our doctor, and he was like, here she is, she's on speaker phone, and I was moaning. And they were like, yup, she's in labor, can't wait to see you. And we were like, what's the birth plan?

He was like, what do you wanna do? And the one thing that I remember saying was, I said, I just want either you or me to catch the baby. We didn't we didn't know at the time whether it was a boy or girl we were just you know wanted to be surprised and instead I and he was like do what now? And I was like I just really like I can either pull the baby up or you can catch the baby and then you can pull the baby out. And he was basically like, okay, sure. And then we got to the hospital,

and as soon as he pushed the ticket for the turnstile, that was when I started like, anamorphing into a full feral animal in the front seat of the car, yeah. And like, just. Oh, like I flipped myself over onto all fours and started just howling. Yeah, because you were giving birth.

Because I was giving birth. And I thought, I don't know if I passed out, I feel like I must have, because I kind of like collapsed. But I remember immediately hearing her cry. And I thought, it's okay, because she's crying. Like, that means that, you know, she's getting air. And this was still in the parking garage, in the parking lot. This is still in the car.

I am, like, my hands were in the child seat, and my butt was, like, facing the dash. Yeah. Yeah. And Patrick Hatter, still attached to me via the umbilical cord. I forget, I feel like you were both telling me that you were trying to get security footage. Oh, we definitely.

Did you ever get it? We did, yes, yes. We are very much not allowed to share that in a public way, but we share it. Okay, what's the other thing? Oh my God. To each other. I mean, it's the classiest security footage

because you can't see me, literally it's just a wonderful shot of our car and Patrick diving into the car, appearing, turning around to the poor valet gentleman who couldn't have done anything, and we found out it was his first day on the job. Oh my God. And you see Patrick just basically being like,

you know, and then he turns around and then he reappears with a baby. And he was just covered in afterbirth. The car was covered in afterbirth. And then he came up to me and they, the hospital actually gave him honorary scrubs because they were just laughing at his jeans and his sweater.

We still have pictures, it looks like a full crime scene. It's such a good story. It was, I mean, it's unbelievable. It really is. And it's the best because she's healthy and she's amazing and she's such a, I call her my bull in a china shop because she's a little tourist that literally just like

shot out in the world. Yeah, I can't wait to see what she does just because of the way she came, she entered this world. Yeah, yeah. Really quite remarkable. It was, it was amazing. I'm gonna turn over a new leaf and I'm gonna say that today, dinner's on me.

No! Yes, I'm not. You don't have to. I'm absolutely gonna do it, dinner is on me. That's ridiculous. It's my new year's resolution. Oh my gosh, thank you so, I hope I'm not setting a precedent for anything. You probably are.

Yeah. Yeah. This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Lupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz, California. Next week on Dinners on Me, you know him from his six seasons on NBC's Community, and more recently helming the Fox comedy Animal Control, which debuted its third season in January, it's Joel McHale. We'll get into his start hosting the iconic pop culture show, The Soup, lying about his height to get on Will and Grace,

and his appreciation for drag queens. And if you don't wanna wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page

on Apple Podcasts to search your free trial today. Dinners On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode.

Hans-Dyl She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Kolassny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.