Dissect DJs - Alvin and the Chipmunks - Christmas Special

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

It's Christmas season and that means it's time for Christmas music, you don't have an option, it's gonna happen either way. So let's dissect one of the most noteworthy, hard to ignore Christmas jingles of all time - Alvin and the Chipmunks. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

All right, you Chipmunks. Ready to sing your song? I'll say we are. Yeah, let's sing it now. Okay, Simon. Okay? Okay, Theodore? Okay.

Okay, Alvin. Alvin. That's sick, D. That's sick, D. Oh my God, I've already fucking annoyed. I don't want to do it. I just decided we don't want to do it anymore. Yeah, run through it, dude.

This is one of the most annoying. Such a dumb song. Fucking Christmas songs. in the history of fucking songs. Oh my God, they're from the Gets. Why?

Why? Why? Because we are. Disseck fucking Dixie. Watch this. Bitters spin. Mix it. Throw up back and dissect it.

Dysk DJs. We're back again. Fuck you. It's Christmas season. So we got to do a Christmas jam. And we thought of one of the best ones, right? This is... The farthest thing from a jam.

Why is Dave such an asshole to Alvin all the time, though? He started there. He started yelling within three seconds. Alvin didn't respond within a second. He was like, Alvin? Was he sleeping? Ah! Like, immediately went to full volume.

And I will say this. Alvin, he responds pretty positively. Okay. Yeah, he's like... Like, he wasn't like, dude, what the fuck? Okay. I was sleeping. All right.

I'm tired. I was taking as shit. I'm a fucking shipmunk. Okay. By the way, the chipmunks look nothing like chipmunks. Have you ever noticed that? Has that ever bothered you? They wear like these long...

I know Alvin has a big ass... Dressed like outfits. Alvin has to have an A on his because he has to stand out because he's obviously the leader. He has a ball cap going on. Simon has glasses for some reason. That's right. Simon and Theodore, right? Alvin.

I'm in Theodore. Do, do, do, do, do. Wait, wait, did I just mix things? Can we just play the Alvin and the Chipmunks' regular song real quick? I haven't heard it since I was a child, and I would like to hear it again. I feel like I just mixed it up with like a 70s song or something. It's definitely not it. This is definitely not it.

This is not it. These fools rocked out, bro. Hey, what in the fuck was that? They rocked out. with that shit. What, wait, first of all,

that's not what you were supposed to play right now. I know, but it was Alvin and Chibbicks like rocking out to the exact same

song we've always hated. Did you like that one better? I still kind of hated it. I didn't really like any of it. I don't like anything the chipmunks sing. Even as a kid when I used to maybe

watch the cartoon and I was supposed to like them. Whenever they'd sing, I'd be like, shut up. Why do you always got to sing? Why do you got to sing, Alvin and the chipmunks?

Nobody wants, I was, I've always, been annoyed by their singing. I don't know why. Like, I, you could have a cartoon show of them getting to some mischief and me watching an album being a troublemaker, and I can get next to that. I'm with that, but when they started singing, I was just like, I don't, I don't want to hear, I don't want to hear you all sing. Your voices are annoying. And generally, I don't know, top three thing of enjoying a song

is like, actually liking the voice that I'm listening to, and they're just annoying. Let's see this one. Let's see this one. I just want to hear the theme song. I can't find the theme song. Oh, my God. It's so easy to find. I don't think so, fellas, I made that record once.

All right, let's try. I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told a witch doctor I was in love with you. And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do. They have some hits, you know. I didn't know they had these classic jazz. I'm sorry, do you think that they originally made that song? Yeah.

An Alvin, Simon and Theodore, original? Yeah. They sing other people. They basically do karaoke. They do high-pitched karaoke. And I'm actually wondering what Alvin and the Chippmong sound like before you turn the pitch up, because that's all it is. Just take the pitch up and, like. Yeah.

They sound like, they speed it up. They're like, I saw all the worst doctor and turned it up. They probably sound like. Dave. They probably sound like, that was Dave singing, right, probably. I don't know. Like, Dave sucks. Is this it?

No, they're fucking regular. Oh, wait, yes, it is, yes. Fuck you. No, but this isn't, this is like a remix version of it. Oh, okay, I mean. No. Fuck. Oh, here it is.

No, it's not. Wait, when are the Alvin and the Chitwings from? This sounds like some 1950 shit 1959 Holy shit dude Holy shit dude I just look The chipmunks Christmas song I can't find a fucking theme song you're trying to find out

I played every chipmunk song From here to fucking Timbuk 2 And I don't even know where Timbuk 2 is Apparently it's not where the song is from Because we're back to the Christmas song Oh I want to tap out of this shit Real quick, Merry Christmas, everyone.

Yeah, look, hey, we're not trying to like... Yes, we are. What are we trying to do? I don't know, I just... We're not trying to, like, negatize the Christmas spirit here. Yeah. Negatized. Write that down.

I'll type it. We wanted to do a Christmas song, but at the same time, okay, this got brought up when we were doing Erotic City, and Chalvin, or actually, we decided the theater or the chip monk got, he got featured on the track, and they were like... Theodore got featured on Erotic City. Let's go ahead and jump right into the Chipmunks Christmas song. It's terrible. This is kind of shit that gets played around this time of year.

And, like, the fact is, hey, look, the Christmas spirit is great and all that. And we have fun with it. But, like, when you hear this shit when you're shopping in Macy's, you're just like, dude, can things just fucking, can you? Fuck them. Can you just, no, like, I'm not on that level of Christmas spirit right now with y'all. And, like, that's what we're- Never get there with this song. No, that's what we're here for.

for to represent all of y'all who feel the same way because we need to be represented too. We want to have a voice that speaks up against the Christmas bullshit that we don't need to hear every year, but we do. I'm sorry, I'm pounding a lot of time. Hey, that's howl you're editing, dude.

Doing a lot of table pounding. It'll sound fine, I'm sure. All right. Are we actually supposed to break down the lyrics, though? I mean, like, who cares, right? No, Christmas time, Christmas cheer. Christmas is near, time for toys and sign for cheer. They don't think they say that. They're in the rear.

I get it, dude. He says something about how he wants a... Let's let's let's let's this play. It's only a minute, 30 seconds. He wants a Hulu Hoop. First of all, weird request. Weird request. But if we're in the 50s when this was made, like that was like...

Still, still, all he wants is a Hulu Hoop. I remember this is a kid. I just want a Hulu Hulu. Why would that be the one thing you request? Like, that's a terrible request. You can get something much... It's got to always the head back then. It was like that and like the ball...

What are you just stand there and just... Yeah. Just fucking just... Just shaking. They had like that and like the little cone with the ball, the string on it where you try to like get it in. Yeah, I'd much rather do that. Or that stick with the ring that they would like, chase. I don't know.

What about the one of the? Maybe you get like a football, throw it through a tire swing. Maybe a tire swing. Yeah, tire swing would be way better than Hulu Hoop. I don't know. First, I would probably. What about skip it? Skip it.

Skip it. Skip it. Skip it. I don't know if that was around. You know how many kids probably took out their own fucking foot doing that? Oh, all the time, dude. I remember using it as a kid. I would like bang the shit out of my ankles.

Yeah. Terrible. And I think about it now, they probably got sued out their asses. Skip it. I mean, why? How bad could a kid get hurt? He just bang his fucking angles. And then your knee?

And then you're paralyzed for life from a skip it. Point is, uh, chipmucks. If you got paralyzed by a skipet, Please call it into 5554-2-6-7-1. Is that the... Yep. That was the number. I knew it.

Okay, fellas, get ready. That was very good. Simon, naturally. Very good. Theodore. Alvin, you were a little flat. He calls out Alvin for being flat. Wow, dude, Dave really had it out.

No. Honestly, he was causing an emotional detriment to Alvin. And there's a reason why Alvin lashes out and also tries to rebel. He rebels because Dave is a dick to him. They have a very clashing relationship. He didn't give him a compliment at all. Like, Alvin, you know, you always do good,

but you can do better. You're a little flat. Yeah, immediately. He didn't give him any positive encouragement. You know what? Fuck you, Dave. I just want to say that. How about that, bro?

How about fuck you, Dave? Yeah, you're fucking disrespectful to your kids and shit your fucking chipmunks. Why does he have three chipmunks as pets that he dresses us? Let's ask what's going on with Dave. Why do you have chipmunks or pets that you put in outfits and you make them sing? No, he doesn't put him in outfits. He puts them in fucking blankets.

Yeah, whatever those things. And he puts letters on them so he remembers their names because if not he wouldn't remember. I mean, just Alvin. I got to be honest with, no, the other one has a T and the other one has an S. I'm looking at it. Look it up right now. Look it up. Look it up.

It's A-T-S. I'm almost certain only Alvin has. All right. Well, look, you never realized it. Watch this. About to prove you wrong. All right. Oh, no, no, first of all, I'm totally.

Right. Also, there's a difference in the way Alvin and Chipmunks look now because you get this, like, new version of like the updated version, which by the way, yeah, Alvin's the only one with a letter around his chest, motherfucker. But yeah, like they got this like 3D looking version. I want to see like cartoon version. That's what I grew up. That's the new version. Dude, the old version had TSA. No, they, okay, fine. There we go. Boom. These motherfuckers right here? Yeah. Just a big A on Alvin. his whole, what the hell are they wearing, by the way? What are those? Pajamas. I want to see a picture of them with Dave.

You're right. He was the only one with the letter. I want to see them with Dave because I want to see how big Dave was. I feel like an asshole. You should. You should feel like an asshole. Shut up. Dave looks a lot like Eric from the Mermaid movie. Does anybody remember what Dave looks like?

Dave's a fucking asshole. He looks like a child molester. That's why he had... He literally looks exactly like the dude. I think they just use the same character in the mermaid. Like, I'm looking, look it, look at it, this is him. That's him, right? It's the same guy.

Same fucking guy. So, quick note, guys. Little Mermaid Prince is the Alvin and the Chipmunks. Dave. Adopted father. Yeah, for some reason he had, was it ever explained? I never saw that part. I don't know.

Well, Ariel apparently went back to the ocean. So he couldn't get with Ariel anymore. So he's like The next step, obviously in life is I've got to adopt some chipmunks. Put some clothes on them and name them. Put a hat on one of them

and give him an A. I don't know what we're supposed to do with this song. Do we play anymore? Yeah, we're going to play the rest of it right now and then talk about it at the end and then clap it out. Real quick. Fuck any store that plays this song.

Take it down again. Seriously, I'm just trying to do some grocery shopping. happen, right? Okay, I get it's the Christmas here, I know, I feel it, okay? Feel the coldness in the air. I saw the lights outside. That's all well and good. We could do that, okay? I could do it. Just throw some jingles. Just throw some jingles. Throw some jingles out there, dude.

Throw a little ho, ho, ho in the background. What the fucking, uh, the Mariah Carey song? Even fucking throw that shit on there. I don't care. Don't put this on. This is annoying as shit in anybody that's putting on their Christmas playlist. Fuck you. Especially if we're at a party, we're on a Christmas party. And I'm supposed to act like this is a cool song. to play to our party like oh no no it's funny it's funny no no no it's not fucking funny it's

annoying and we all gotta sit here in the same room and act like it's not happening and then if somebody acts like it is and they may get a point about it they start dancing to it and they start like say and now it's like okay now i have to deal with this asshole that's making a fucking point of the fact that we got to listen to alvin and his fucking chipmunks theater bring it in for his solo while dave is yelling at alvin fuck you dave there's a stupidest fucking gift you can get alvin you want a fucking hula hoop Why don't you get a fucking life, you piece of shit? Holy shit.

Alvin and the Chickmunks hung out with Alf one time. Stop it. This seems to be addressed. I don't know what this is from, but I'm just going through the Google images of Alvin and the chipmunks, and they hung out with Al. Look, that's Alf. Alf and Alvin.

This is the best thing. Like, we don't get this enough nowadays. Back in the 80s and 90s, like, we used to get, like, TV crossover specials where they'd be like, randomly shows up on Alvin and the Chipmunks and it's like he just in he exists in that universe I just wonder I believe it I can't believe it. Steve Urkel shows up on uh you know the uh what was the movie what was the show with Danny Tanner and the fucking the daughter home improvement not home

improvement um full house yeah like there's an episode where like Urkel just shows up Urkel shows the full house yeah no yeah he does Uncle Jesse tries to teach him like how to be cool and then he starts like trying to show Jesse how to walk and he has him like walking like I don't know. That's a whole thing. But that's the way it used to go. Like, so Alvin and they hung out with Alph one time. I don't know why, but I want to watch that episode now. Ooh, it's on YouTube. I can check it out. I would rather do that than watch, then listen to the rest of the song. But it's fine. We'll play it out. We're already too deep. Okay, fellas. Get ready. That was very good, Simon. Very good, Theodore. Alvin, you were a little flat. Watch it. Alvin. Alvin. Alvin. Stop being so disrespect with your fucking kid, bro.

Do not call one of the kids out and get compliment the other two fucking kids. You piss me the fuck off right now. It's not even his kids. It's a fucking shit. Whatever fuck he's doing. That he inexplicably owns. Dave, if you ever call out one of your fucking kids

and compliment me with the other two fucking kids right in front of the other fucking fuck kids, unless the kid is really doing something bad where you need to call him out like that, you're a fucking asshole. And I want to fucking slap you. If I'd do that shit in fucking front of me, I'd tell you right now, I'd slap you.

And you wouldn't even realize I slapped you because how fast I'd slap you bitch pull him aside and take him in the room and talk to him like a man don't dress him down in front of Theodore and Simon fuck this guy man

he's fucking I don't care of you adopted he was trying to be a respectful dad when he adopted three kids Is that kids or chipmunks? Oh yeah Why would you put chipmunks in the clothes and name them? I don't know I've never known anybody

to own a chipmunk and I don't know how this happened Oh no man Fuck this guy. Get this fucking kid a Hulu hoop Why is it still on? Why is this song still happening? Wait, he could

get his fucking kid of Hulu. It's a fucking piece of plastic a circle up around him and all he uses is shaking him out. It probably costs you fucking 50 cents, Dave. You fucking nobody. Fuck you. Yo, look at this old picture

of the chipmunks that I just found. That shit goes way back. Oh yeah, that shit is awesome. Listen how fucking old are the chipmunks, man. Like my grandpa was watching that when he was a guy. Yeah. Straight out. We can hardly stand to go away.

Also, they're like the same size as Dave. They're like the same size as Dave in this picture. Why do you have giant chipmunks? Oh, those are big ass shitmunks. Those are some big ass chipmunks. I actually understand why you'd adopt them at that point. Like they were probably just going to get like shot for being like... They were a human-sized chipmunks.

Standouts in society. Like, oh. So he taught these chipmunks how to speak? 1936. Holy shit. I'm sorry. Maybe that's just the name of the, okay. Maybe that's not one.

When did the chipmunks start? Like that's what we should. I put that. Okay. 1842. Okay. Fucking gold. old rush, so this is crazy.

Alvin and the chipmunks. No. Do you misspell that? Well, no, it just showed me like when the movie came out. Stop showing me when the movie came out. I don't care about that. Oh, you know what? Maybe I'll say start. Start. I actually liked another... 1958.

Damn. Damn. Oh, that's enough. Let's not overdo it. Now, wait a minute, boys. Alvin, cut that the mouth of the way. Those kids are rebels, bro. They went off on it.

Like, fuck, they're seeing it again, bro. Kind of sounded like they were, like, tearing up Dave at the end there, didn't it? It fucking went in on him at the end. He's like, no, no, no, no. And you think about it, like three chipmunks attacking it would actually be kind of fucking terrifying. At human-sized chipmust? Yeah, dude. He could get vicious.

Maybe you shouldn't talk to that shit on Alvin, bro. All right, rate the song, bro. You want to hear my fucking rating? Yeah. That's my rating, bitch. Yeah, I get it. I'm giving me a chipmocks.

I'm going to get no, you don't get no slaps, all right? Fuck this song, stop playing this. Can we please cancel this? Can we stop bringing this up? It's 1956. It's one of those things.

You know what else got... Yeah, it makes sense at the time. You know what else is no longer around from 1956? Racism. Sorry. Sorry, no, that very much still exists. Yeah, no. I'm trying to think of a good one.

I can't think of it. Like, I was trying to think of a restaurant that's no longer around or something? Bob's Big Boy. Yeah, I sound like that. Shit got canceled with the rest of the fucking pandemic. I don't know. The point, yeah, we could lose a song. I would actually say Dave made sense at the end there when he was like,

nah, we're good. You know, and they're like, let's sing it again. He's like, nah, we're over this shit. And then they ate him alive and attacked him. So what animal has gone extinct since 1950? The Dodo Bird? That was since like 18-100. I don't know.

It's like, do things actually go. Yeah. Sasquatch. Bigfoot. I don't know. All right. Were you ready for my rating? Yes.

That was like the weakest snap ever. Yeah. He just didn't want to give it nothing to. I just didn't want to do the same thing you do because you get mad at me for copying you. I would have been cool. And this song bring back memories of like a kid. And like, as a kid, I love this song. As a kid I was like, oh, I guess Chibbox.

Like I remember being like four and being like, it's fucking Chipbox. Yeah. Pretty sure they always I can see myself being a four-year-old. Yeah, you were definitely an annoying kid. I could see that. Yeah, so I kind of enjoy it. It brings back memories of me.

I actually enjoyed it, but I hate this song now, so stop it. That being said, Merry Christmas, y'all, you know? Let's not let the chipmugs ruin our whole Christmas vesting. Yeah, be merry. Don't let me and my negativity bring you down. You can enjoy your Christmas season without this bullshit. Stop being a bit of business. Just don't play the chipmunk song.

Don't play it at a party. Smile. Don't be that person, okay? Enjoy it in many other ways. You could give people cookies. You could kiss them under a mistletoe. As long as they're a willing participant, don't fucking force yourself.

That's fucking some third bag bullshit. You could fucking, you know, go enjoy the snowballed somebody. I don't know. Just don't play the chipmunk song, right? Let's fuck you. Next!