Dissect DJs - Are Any NFL Teams Actually Good? | NFL Midseason Report

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

The NFL is officially in midseason form, and so is Castle as he's back to dissect all 32 teams in the NFL to determine one specific thing - is anyone actually good?Are the Eagles and Chiefs running it bacK? Are the Rams and Seahawks for real? What about the Patriots? Is the NFC North the cream of the crop or the garbage in the dumpster? Will The Browns or Jets ever be good again? Is it finally the Ravens or Bills time?Nobody breaks down NFL tape like this, it's time to spin it down to the gridiron - NEXT!People who enjoy this episode also would like: NFL, Football, NFL podcast, sports, Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Las Vegas Raiders, Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Rams, Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tennessee Titans, Washington CommandersAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What's up everybody, Ryan Castle here of the Dicex DJs. If this is your first time joining the show, welcome. If you're checking back in, welcome back. And if you are checking back in, then you may recall that back in week one of the NFL season, I blazed through the rundown of the NFL Slate, gave my thoughts, opinions, and observations of the week that was. And now we're just over the halfway point of the season, so I thought let's put the headphones back on, because I got a lot more thoughts and observations, and I thought it would be a great time to do my NFL mid-season report.

So let's waste no more time, drop the beat, and let's get it started. All right, let's get it cracking. NFL mid-season report. Let's pick it up where we left off in the NFL opener review. Chiefs. I had stated after week one's Bill's versus Raven's Sunday Night Classic that it was over for the Chiefs, Pack it up, boys. The Ravens and Bill's era has arrived. That's what I said in week one.

Ten weeks later, Bill's, Ravens, I have a question for you. Are you good? I mean, seriously, the room has become chilly because of all that wind coming through the window that the Chiefs have left wide open for you. Hell, the NFL has left wide open for you. Since their epic week one showdown, the Bills have lost to the Patriots at home, got completely bird handled by the falcons and lost to the fucking dolphins. Bravens have lost to the lions, chiefs, Texans, and Rams, and barely squawked by the fucking Browns today, who were forced to finally play Shador Sanders so we could all learn what we all knew all along.

He's not that good. Somewhere, Mel Kuyper is talking himself into a hairspray-induced spin cycle, explaining to his wife that he just needs a full season to prove what he saw. 32 NFL teams miss. Bills, Ravens. I'd like to say it's one of your times, but after 10 weeks of watching football, I still have to ask. Are you good? I can't really tell. That brings me back to the Chiefs. Question for you. Are you good? Five and five. That is the Chiefs record. I'd say that means you're just not that good this season, but I am way too familiar with their game and the script at this point and we know they will slip into the playoffs and ruin everyone's January.

See you in the Super Bowl again. Sigh. You know who's not good? The Jets. Life's just more fun when the Jets are a total dumpster fire. I can't explain why, but it's always hilarious. Every time. Fortunately for us football fans, life is fun all the time during football season. Except for this week, kind of. But you know what?

The Jets are too easy to rag on. And you know who else is? The Browns. Also, not good. Nope. In an internal battle with the Jets for biggest dumpster fire franchise in sports. Browns. Drafting two QBs in the same draft and whiffing on both of them.

Classic Browns. Losing to their hated rival Ravens on a fourth and won 35 years. yard touchdown run by a tight end. The same tight end who dropped a wide open pass to end last season. The same tight end who has been declared legally washed by everyone. Mark Andrews. Way to prove the haters wrong before inevitably all right again. Yeah. Classic Browns. I have family in Cleveland and my favorite part of the football season might be hearing them talk themselves into how this season will be different every August. Yeah. No uncle Kevin. I don't think. think this new QB is gonna be the guy. Yes, I do think you'll have another top five pick in April

and we'll draft a new QB again. No, I don't think that QB will be the guy either. But I look forward to hearing you talk yourself into him just like this guy. P.S., don't look now, but DeShana's warming up. Have fun with that. You know who else is not good? The Titans. We don't talk about that enough, and we don't need to. Speaking of top-pick QBs, Cam Ward, he might suck. We'll give him a little more runway, but can I be the first to declare, Cam Ward might suck. TBD.

You didn't watch it, but the Titans lost to the Texans today. Another game where the Texans are doing everything they can to give the win to the other team. And then, just snatch it from them with mundane tactics. Hey, Texans, question for you. Are you good? I'm gonna say no probably. I thought I'd ask. Either way, I am sick of the Texan's shit.

You know who else? The Broncos. I am officially sick of their shit. I have Bo Nix on a fantasy team, and let me tell you, I never get used to seeing it be midway through the fourth quarter, and he's sitting on a five-point burger. Hey, Nix, learn to do something in the first half.

Anything ever at all. Because I am sick of your shit. And then talking confidently in the microphone and post game like you had it all along. Sick of your shit. John Payton? You too. Although watching you get trucked on the sideline by a ref might have been the funniest part of my Sunday.

Broncos. Out-chiefing the Chiefs winning a 22 to 19 game that at no point felt like they earned. Classic Chiefs. Except it's the Broncos. Broncos are now 9 and 2, and yet I haven't seen them do anything good outside of the last 5 minutes of a game all season. So I have to ask. Are you good?

Because my eyes tell me you suck, but your record says otherwise. Either way, I am officially sick of your shit. I have an idea for a new game that we can all play to make football sucks. Sundays, more fun. Steelers, I'm looking at you on this one. It's called Put the Ball in Darnel Washington's hands. And then just let people try to tackle him. Have you seen this man? Dude is straight up Andre the Giant in cleats out there. It says he's listed at 6-7 and 300 pounds, but my eyes tell me he's got to be at least 6'9 and 480. Watching Bengals bounce off him down the sidelines like a game of Pong was like watching spike charge down field in little giants.

It was like watching your drunk uncle prove he's still got it in the family turkey bowl while being covered by your little nephew. It was like watching one of those mascots take out their life's frustration on some pee-wee football players and one of those halftime games they always put on for some reason. We should be getting to watch this guy truck through defenses every down. Just hand it to him. It'll work. And it'll work. At least it would if you were playing the Browns. Just ask the Ravens. Steelers!

I'd ask if you were good, but we all know where this is going. See you in round one with your 9 and 8 record where you will be promptly handed your annual first round defeat. And then Aaron Rogers will go on a five-month-long retreat of some kind, waffling on whether he will retire or not. He's learned from the best, who in this case is Brett Farr, who is very much not the best. Bangles, spending all their money on a couple of receivers and then having a piss poor defense while not having a viable QB to get them the ball, who then resort to spitting on the opposing team.

Classic Bengals. The Falcons. Lost to the Panthers for the second time this year. That is all I want to say about either of those teams. Oh, except this, I am officially sick of their shit. Both of them. I'd ask if they're good, but I'm certain they both are now. except when you bet against them the Chargers should have to pick up loose beer cups

around SoFi Stadium for losing 35 to 6 to the Jaguars they should have to attend every show of a Madison beer world tour and dance in the beer garden to every single song even the slow ones for losing 35 to 6 to the Jaguars she's a singer right I don't know I just learned who she is this year and yet I I have to ask, hey Chargers, are you good? One week you're rocking the Chiefs, then you're getting drop kicked in the mouth by the giants and the fucking commanders. Then you're manhandling the Vikings and Steelers, then you're losing to the Jags, 35 to 6. So, are you good?

The more I hear myself say lose to the Jags 35 to 6, the more I feel like, no, you are not good. Nope. That's the answer. And singing for he's a jolly good fellow in the locker room will never change that. Jim, I love you, but that is the lamest dad shit I've ever seen. Cool points have dropped significantly since the who's got it better than us, Niner Days. The Dodgers, your back-to-back world champions. Some people are saying that the Dodgers Blue Jays World Series was the greatest of all time,

and I am one of those people. But does that mean that this Dodgers team is the greatest of all time? Wait a minute. That's probably not supposed to be in here. No, no, baseball slipped in here. That's just a true fact. I'm going to leave it in anyways. Back to football. Rams, Seahawks, classic NFC West Showdown. Sam Darnold.

Throwing four interceptions. There he is. We were wondering when you were going to show up, bud. Good to see you. What if me? Miss, Rams. Pretty sick Nike rivalries jersey today, no? Yeah. I was digging the black. And while I'm at it, Patriots. Pretty sick Nike rivalries jersey on Thursday, no? Pretty Stees. By the way, Patriots might actually be good. 9 and 2,

but I will remind you that seven of their wins came against the dolphins, panthers, saints, Titans, Falcons, Browns, and Jets. And they lost of the Raiders. So thus, I must ask. Are you good? Like really? In those Nike jerseys, I can believe you. But still not cooler than the Rams get-ups today. Now some of you might be saying, Ryan, you're in L.A. Homer,

and you're just saying that because you like the Rams. Fault hoods! Let's get this squared away right now. I am not a Rams fan at all. But why, Ryan? Aren't you a lifelong L.A. local? Everybody always asked me. How can he not like the Rams?

Easy. They left me when I was a child and never returned for 20 years. Rams, kick rocks. I've found a new family now, and they are called the Niners. Niners! Throat kicking the cards 42 to 21 off the back of three TDs from CMC. Was exactly what I needed in a day of watching lousy football, as my fantasy teams eat shit. Brock!

Good to see you, pal. Hey! Between watching you and Darnel return to his multi-interception form, this season might turn out all right after all. Pretty good. Niners, Seahawks, Rams, all having seven or more wins. The NFC West is not to be trifled with. Unless it's the Cardinals, then trifle away.

But those three teams might be good. Nice. It might be good. NFC North. Question for you. Are you good? Like any of you? Are you good?

Packers. I am officially sick of your shit. Barely beating the Jamest lead giants after getting face punched by the Panthers and Eagles. I think you suck probably. Only to have your season saved by two inevitable wins over the Bears down the road. See you in the playoffs. Bears. Becoming a team that pulls garbage football games out of their ass and turning them into last second wins.

Who are you? And what have you done with the Chicago Bears? So of course, I have to ask. Are you good? Probably not, right? Vikings. Yeah, I'm not going to ask. We know the answer.

They are not good. Commander's Dolphins. Didn't watch it. If you were a person who set your clock for 6 a.m. to watch these two teams play in Madrid, only to get a 16 to 13 snoozer, you got what you deserve. Next time hit snooze, get those Zs up, ready for some real football.

Madrid, sorry about that. You were set up for failure. You ever have one of those Sundays where you feel like football is just mad at you? Like I gave you my whole Sunday. What is this? What are you giving me? A 22 to 19 Chiefs Broncos game where both teams are playing for vehicles all day, followed by a 16 to 9 slurge fest from the Lions versus Eagles?

Watching two teams unable to complete a pass for three hours, then take away a potential game-tying drive on a bullshit pass interference call. Why football? Why must you? Why must you? Rock you sin! Coolest name in Sports Hall of Fame. Your induction, sir. Lions! Are you good?

I really want to know. Because that game was some horse v-snurp. By the end of it, I was wondering why. I was spending my time watching this and that is never a feeling I like getting from football. But one thing I felt for sure, these teams are not good, but since they are eight and two, I feel I gotta ask. Eagles. Are you good? Because watching you get in the rugby stance every five minutes is not fun. Everybody hates you. Even your own wide receivers. Do you know how garbage a football game has to be for NBC to give all three players of the game to defensive players.

We're good, Jalen. You can run back to the locker room. We don't need you for this segment. Sigh. It's going to happen again, isn't it? We're getting another Eagles Chief Super Bowl. It's happening again, and we should all just accept it. And we will hate watch it.

But hey, at least ESPN and YouTube TV finally settled their pissing match, and I can watch Monday Night Football again. just in time to watch Cowboys and Raiders God damn it Football I hate you but I love you

and sometimes I hate that I love you but sometimes I really do just hate you and those times are when you make me watch the Cowboys and Raiders but I'm gonna do it anyways just like I'll watch the Eagles and Chiefs in the Super Bowl again

damn it football I am so sick of your show I love you. And that was the mid-season report of the NFL 2025. Until next time, E.J. Castle signing off.