Dissect DJs - Are These Girlfriends Lame?

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

We covered the boys and now it's time to turn are attention to some of the legendary girlfriends in cinema history to answer one basic question - Are These Girlfriends Lame?  We break out the Lame Meter and rank 'em all! Check out the video podcast of this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YuPgJlBMmFcWe cover some of the most famous characters from movie and TV history, including Mary (Cameron Diaz) from There's Something About Mary, Juliet (Keira Knightley) in Love Actually, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) from Sex in the City, Rizzo (Stockard Channing) from Grease, Stacy (Lara Flynn Boyle) from Wayne's World, and even Taylor Swift. Let's Dissect! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We are back. It's the DJs. I like to spin it, mix it, throw it back, and dissect it. And we are remixing an old favorite today. DJ Castle, DJ, DJ, Jig. DJ, Jig, Jig, Jekka, Jekin, Jekh, what's going on, everybody? It was coming in hot today. I am a little loud, let me turn that down.

Let me try that again. What's going on, everybody? Not a volume issue. Not a volume issue. What was it? Just coming in 98 miles an hour. I'm note one. I've realized that my energy on these videos,

again, and we're going to announce this again because Castle did it on the last one, and we need to repeat it. We're doing videos. If you're listening to this, go on YouTube, Cassel is the master editor, and he has us on video. I didn't even know this shit.

I don't even know. He told me three weeks ago. He was like, do you realize all the videos? I'm like, oh, what? And I watched them all, and I am funny. I choose not to believe that. I am hilarious. Because it's very embarrassing to think

that my partner in podcast. It was more just to add emphasis to the story, so it's not what's happening. The point was I realize I have not been bringing up the video podcast element on any of the past like five or six episodes, and they're all out there on YouTube, full episodes. So check them out. And as also mentioned in the previous one, we got on TikTok now. Finally, after debating about it for years, if you go back in our archives, you'll look at literally go back to like episode like 15 and we're like we thought about it we're like

not tic-tok stupid i don't want to do it and i never really did and you know i got my page callie castle i've been posting our clips on there but i'm finally just like let's just create our own account that actually devotes all of our clips so if you're all about just seeing dissect dj's footage and that's the kind of thing that's just going to make me more inspired to create more content for all of y'all so go out there support it support us i don't want to make the whole intro about that But we need to. Go subscribe, apparently. We got to do this shit.

I always been a hater. All these motherfuckers, they'd be like, subscribe, bottom corner, right here. Castle, by the way, I'm pointing. If you could put something right here. There. Right there. Subscribe to us.

Hit that. Hit that shit. Put the like button, whatever the fuck they make you do. Only because it helps us grow and possibly make money off this shit. Trying to get that next level tip. Because I make money other ways. Castle makes his money. But we would love to just do this.

This would be great. If we could figure out a way to just do this. To just do this, we will talk about all subjects. We've talked about music. We've talked about movies. And today, we are finally getting into subjects. We've actually been diving into subjects quite a bit the last few episodes, which I'm glad that you're sticking with it. Yeah.

That's why I was saying that this is a remix because it's just a few episodes back. We did a fan favorite episode of Did This Boyfriend Suck? We had guest on. We had the dude from Wedding Singer. We had Ferris Bueller Fucking Ferris Bueller If you haven't seen it

Go back Watch it, listen to it Rewind it Mix it up Throw it back And But we can't just cover the dudes Okay

Can't do it We gotta cover the other side of the aisle Must So today's subject is Guess what Were these girlfriends lame Were they lame?

At first I was gonna do The same Naming Convention I used the other one And then when I said it out loud, I was like, can't do that? I don't do it. I don't do it. I don't do that.

And then I rolled him a little dice of let's go just going late. So we're going to discuss some of the legendary girlfriends, maybe wives of cinematography, TV, what have you. And we're going to go in on them. So before anybody wants to get offended and say that we are discussing classic cinematic women or whatever in a certain way, I'm just going to say we did the same thing with the men folk. Go back and listen to it. We've got to cover both sides and go after some of the popular females that we've seen over the years and just give a fair viewpoint from where we see it.

So, as we did in the last one, we're going to bring out the meter. And this is how we're going to rate all of our contestants. We got number one, the bottom, total creep. Actually, I feel like we should change what that is for. Yeah, yeah, it should be. It shouldn't be total creep. It should be like. Be careful here.

We've got to be careful. This is terrible The worst The worst The worst Yeah I like that The worst That's a good one

Yeah Bottom row The worst next one Number two Yeah she kind of sucks She kind of sucks She kind of sucks Number three

Number three She's all right She cool She's all right She's all right Number four That girl will be solid Kind of dig

Solid I like her I like her Oh wait wait That was number five and the last one. What should the top one be? Oh, she bad.

Oh, she bad. Oh, she doesn't see a baddie. I'll tell you what. Run down one more time. One, the worst. The worst. Two. She sucks.

Kind of sucks. Three. She's cool. She all right. She all right. Four. That girl will be solid. I like her.

Five. Oh, she bad. Damn. She. Addie. Damn! She like, whoa! All right.

Y'all got it? There we go. Let's kick it off with Mary. From Something About Mary. And it's something about Mary. They don't know. She kind of sucked. Really?

Really? She's built up. You know what? Mary's built up because the movie builds her up and all the guys build her up and you got the pizza guy going after. You got the spy going after. You got Ben going after from high school.

You have the old, what is it? What was his, what was the old boyfriend that he was with? Wooge. Woogie? Yeah. Wogie with his zits and shit. And then you got Brett Fav. Brett Fav.

That decides to make a. Out of left field. He's popping in. Everybody loves Mary. However, you think Mary doesn't know that? You think Mary doesn't know that? You don't think she's playing the card of like everybody loves me. So I'm going to go ahead and, you know, dabble and get, you know, what I want from each of these scenarios and enjoy the moment.

Watch the movie again. She's exactly what she's doing in every moment. She's, I don't, she doesn't want to settle down. So she's taking a little bit from each guy, which each guy thinks that's all of it. And therefore, they're like all in. And she's just giving them a slice, you know. Is she, though? Yeah.

I don't really feel like she's doling out slices. She might be playing into their interests a little bit and playing down the fact that she knows that everybody's like trying to get with her, you know? My thing with Cameron Diaz in general in movies, something that I've noticed the past like 10 years or so. I've really taken notice. There's a certain thing that Cameron Diaz does with her roles in it. I'm not like putting it on her.

It's the roles that she's given. But it always seems like she's playing or, character where her life is kind of perfect. She looks like Cameron Diaz. She's like just in an amazing situation. Probably has like an amazing house, just an amazing setup. But it always seems like she's kind of like, oh, I'm like sad. Like I'm just like, I'm missing something. And she's, and you're supposed to kind of feel like sad for her for whatever reason. And I'm just thinking off the top of my head. I don't know. There was the holiday, something about Mary, the sweetest thing. the, what was that movie where it was one of those

I don't, I mean, that one was so early in care I don't even, maybe in that situation. Yeah, I guess a little bit, you could say that. What's the one that has like all, one of those, all the people, then it becomes, you know, one of those movies. Charlie's Angels. I never saw it.

But one of those movies that has all the different actors and intertwining stories and it comes down to a lot of it is about pregnancy. Her banging Justin Hibberlake. I don't, what is that? Was that their movie or that? No, they just dated. I don't know.

Okay, I'm talking about her movie roles. All right. The point is, a lot of her roles are just like, oh, not kind of. Oh, the other girl, that was another one. It's just like she's basically got like a perfect life, but for some reason you're supposed to kind of feel like sad for her because she's like not quite fully happy.

And so this movie, she doesn't like play sad in this movie for the most. part but there are definitely like several times which he's like oh this sucks because all these guys are into you and that sucks and we're supposed to kind of feel bad for you and like maybe you're leading them on a little bit maybe you're leading everybody on a little bit and you're just kind of yeah which is kind of one of the funny lines that um Matt Dillon that's Matt Dillon right the one who's like who's the detective pretty sure that's his name yeah yeah he's the spy um he's like think it would help us all if our friend Mary here would stop jerking us around

And tell us who she really wants. If I may, I have a proposal. I say none of us leaves this room until our young Mary here stops jerking us around and decides once and for all who she really wants. And she looks like chocolate. She doesn't understand what he's talking about. But like, yeah, you're kind of playing all sides.

She played all sides. That's how I'm trying to say. Just a little bit. She took a piece from everybody and not giving anybody the whole pie. Being said, she's bad as fucking that movie though. She's kind of the perfect girl a little bit. You're giving her a bad, so you're giving her bad?

She looks dynamite. She wants to, like, chill and watch SportsCenter. Takes care of her brother. She takes care of her brother, like, spends her time, taking care of, like, special needs kids, has her own business that she's crushing it in. So she's, like, financially independent. She's a character that's built to be, like, the perfect girl.

So I'm not going to pretend like Mary would not be an awesome girl. to kick it with. I do think that the most telling moment is the fact that, like, Brett Farrb just walks in. And after all the work that Ben Stiller has put in this whole movie, just whole impassioned speech, Brett Fav comes in and he's just like, I'll miss you so much.

And she's just like ready to be like, oh, Brett's back. Cool. I'm going to just go with Brett. And you're going to tell me that Tucker wasn't being led on this whole time, you know, with the whole, like. Tucker was trying too hard the whole time. No, but he had a grift.

And obviously he did it. By the way, I fucking Norm. I fucking love Norm in that movie. And he's like, what, that guy, Brett? He was like a fucking Eagle Scout. How the hell do you think I got rid of the last guy, Brett? Wait, Brett.

Are you saying that Brett didn't say those things about Warren? Are you shitting me? Mr. Goody Two Shoes? He was like an Eagle Scout. Wait a minute. You two should be kissing my fucking Harry Bing bag, you know? Because if it was for me, she might have married. That was low-key, one of my favorite little moments of the 90s.

So, yeah, I will drop her down from that girl bet just because of the little bit of, like, the kind of leading everybody on and acting like she doesn't know, like, why everybody's interested in. So I'm going to say, yeah, that girl's solid. She's solid, though. She would, who wouldn't want to spend their time around Mary all the time? And there's something about Mary that they don't. She sucked. Mary.

She sucked. All right. Who you got? I thought you a little curb ball I've been saving this one He gave me a whole list By the way We went through a list of like

Who we might get into Why are you telling him how the sausage is made We might you know we had like 12 Here's the thing I just try to get Justin To come up with some ideas beforehand Because he never comes repaired And then he just starts throwing

random shit out there All right whatever I'm always ready All right Okay let me hear it This one I can guarantee And I'm 100% guarantee that he will say she is.

All right. I'm listening. The wife. In what we recently went over. Love Actually. Oh. Kira Knightley? Yes.

I mean, come on. Castle. If you guys have that, this was partly promo for our previous episode, Love Actually, which you need to go back. We listened to. Check it out. Jayway, he and I went over it. and went in detail for Christmas to find out that she is the worst.

She is okay with her husband's best friend putting note cards in front of her of like this random-ass poem that he comes up with. And then after he's done, he walks away and she goes out and gives him the biggest kiss like that was beautiful. What? You better go tell your fucking man that his best friend is disrespecting him out front right now. Go watch Love Actually. It is the rudest and castle forever. Hates that.

Was I wrong about this? Do you think she's the... I more put that whole awkward situation on the fucking shitty friend that like can't handle his friend having a hot wife because he's the one who forces that awkward situation. She had no reason to actually go follow him and kiss him after he does it. That's where she turned him into the worst. Am I wrong?

That's where she turned in the worst. Before that she's fine. Yeah. Before that moment she's fine. Kieran Knightley is adorable that movie though. I mean, she's got that. British accent. She always wears these, like, cute little, like, outfits with, like, her little British hat.

And she always just looks... I don't know. She, up until that point, she seems like the perfect wife. So it's hard for me to drop her from, like, five to a one. You're telling me, early in that movie, she didn't real... Not early. Early in that story, when she saw the video of him only showing her in the movie that she would, that she didn't already be like, yo, this is a little awkward.

Your friend has a, uh, on my... You know what I mean? I think that she's... was maybe trying to be on the, I don't know exactly what I'm dealing with, but I'm not trying to rock the boat with my new husband and his best friend. But I will say she failed the test when he went full creep. She didn't handle it like I would want my wife to handle it all. So it sucks because she was at batty status and that drops her. I'm going to just say, I'm going to have to say that drops her all the way down to like, yeah, she kind of sucks for doing that. I thought I had him. No, I can't say she's the worst because she's not the word. I held this card ever since you've been talking about. She does seem really, I mean, come on, Karen Knightley in that movie is a score. If you're getting married Karen Knightley, Circa what, 2003? Which just seems like the perfect wife in that, up until that point.

I have a huge issue with how that all played out. There was still no reason to run out and kiss him like that. I'd be more into Karen Daly. Who is that? It's just the opposite of Nightly. Anyway. All right. Justin has been loading up on.

What do you got for the third? third uh what you got i mentioned i just i i said something about reese witherspoon to him the other day and he was just like oh too bad she wasn't with a knife and i didn't even understand what he was trying to say until like literally a week later when he like tried to explain what it was and i i don't know i i i never have known you to be like this shitty dad joke guy wasn't with a knife come on that was good i don't know That was good. Does it say something about the aging process that you've suddenly moved into the stage of like just terrible dad jokes? Okay.

All right. What you got? What you got? I'm going to hit you. I'm going to hit you somewhere that has been discussed previously, but I feel like needs a little reheat. How about Rizzo from Greece? I love Rizzo. What about Rizzo?

I was like, yeah. Rizzo's my girl. She's the only one that kept it real on Greece. She knew what was that? It was senior year. It's time to bone. It's time to have some fun. Let's get it.

Am I going to rule the school? You know what I mean? We're the top of the school. And she was all cocky with it and stuff. Like, come on. Even though she was 30 in an 18-year-old role. Yeah. We ain't worried about that.

Yeah, but you're going to ignore all the activities that she displays her at the movie. First of all, she had a thing with Danny. For whatever reason, that's not going on anymore. I won't blame her for that. We don't know exactly why they didn't work out.

I mean, it seems like it just was... They probably held hands. It seems like it had been happening the last year. From like the very first... From the very first time we see them both at the same time, Danny looks at her, he's like, you can go Riz. And she's like, eat you hot out, you know?

What's the Zook? you're looking good riz eat your heart out what's sloppy second say my style it's very fresh this isn't like an old like hey yeah we used to like there's a relatively fresh thing but obviously danny's found sandy now he's like moved down to that so fair play she moves on a canicky you know so they start having a thing she turns on him every single time to hand i'm not going to say that he's blameless in it too they kind of seem to have a little bit of a toxic relationship.

Thus then elevated when Scorpion's guy, fucking crater face over here, shows up at the school and she jumps in the car. She's like, I don't have a date. Then he shows up, jumps in his car, the guy who literally crashed into Kinicki's car last week, Walt Rizzo was inside, mind you. And she's just going to like jump in his car. Who knows where the fuck this sketchy dude's taking him. Cha-cha, though.

Takes her to the dance. and she's just happy to spend weeks and weeks and who knows how long time actually passed in them it could have been months. Just trying to get Kinicky jealous makes them feel like, oh, you might have knocked me up. He says he's willing to do the right thing

and like man up for his mistakes. And she just like throws in his face like, you know what it's not even your mistake? Like she's just like, she says it on the way down of a fair pounding him below the down of a Ferris. No, no, no, no. This is before when they're at the drive-in.

When she's like. When she's like, yeah, it's not even your problem. Why don't you tell me about it? What's it to you? I thought I might be able to do something. You did enough. I don't want to wait for my mistakes. Hey, don't worry about it, Kinnaki.

You're somebody else's mistake. Thanks a lot, kid. Anytime. Like, she just keeps, like, pounding him in the dick, just over and over again. But he's literally trying to tell you, Rizzo. You know what? I'm ready to, like, man. up let's raise a child together i know i'm in high school high school 70s movie high school even

though he's like 32 but i'm i'm ready to like you know let's do this i can figure this out and instead you take the opportunity to be like yeah it was other dudes i was boning not you all right so don't even worry about it like there's literally not a shitter thing you could tell a guy if this is what's happening that's the worst thing listen she's the head of the pink ladies she's uh she's had her fun in school. She's now the head of the school. She's enjoying her time because she knows this is the end of her time for her to, you know, do this type of behavior before she's asked to be a real woman in the world. I like Rizzo. I'm going to go ahead and put her and I like, I like Rizzo. That was not one of the categories. The middle one. What's the middle one?

She's cool. Yeah, she's right. She's right. Rizzo's cool, man. You don't, you're throwing her under the bus and making her sound like she's the worst to the worst. Nah, man, she's cool. I mean, yeah, and then you called it out earlier that she screams, I'm not pranked it on the Ferris wheel, on the way down, like literally in front of like the entire

school. She's... She's... You're laughing. But yet, it was a false alarm. What? She's lucky that social media didn't exist back then, man. Like, that would have definitely been...

When your girl doesn't know how to break the news. Then they start hooking up and connect it. And Kinnig is just ready to do it? Yeah, he's ready to go right back into it, man. Yeah. All right, cool, man. That's a good one. Justin wants to do his guy from that scene.

Yeah. Justin's favorite character in any movie, Guy in the Green at the AM. Full episode on Greece, if you ever want to see it. We have, did I actually ever upload it to Dissect DJs? It was on our Three Things podcast. We did a full dissection of that episode. If I haven't uploaded it yet, I will re-upload that soon.

I'm going to make a special re-upload because we had a fun four-person discussion on that whole movie. And we all love that movie. So I'm going to just go ahead and plug that real quick. But I'm going to just going to say, I don't want to say Rizzles the worst. But she kind of sucks, man. I don't really see a whole lot of redeeming value in dating Rizzo. I guess I got to ask, who's the worst? Do we have a worst girl?

Do you have anybody in mind that's the worst? I mean, if we have to pick somebody is the worst, so far, I will say her. No, I'm saying, out of all the girlfriends you think about the list that we had. somebody that sticks out like well we gotta go through them and figure that out all right well all right so right now we'll say rizzles the worst then all right yeah just so the very fact just the very fact that he tried to man it would be like you know i'm willing to be a dad when i'm in high school and she literally was just like yes somebody else's mistake but then she came with the solo that's the worst thing i can do i can stay home every night went around for mr

right you know she walking went nuts bro it was good as a thing she had this sensitive side but she only will do it when she's like singing you know while walking behind the the bleachers as like the driving theaters like playing behind her with like hot dogs and popcorns like walking in the background and shit all right it's your turn all right i forget her name you will you will probably have to remind me once you know it but wayne's girlfriend Stacey from Wain's World. Stacy, that is it. Stacey, Laird.

In my opinion, from what I saw, other than a little clingy, great girlfriend, willing to go out. She's out at the bar. She's out of the same concerts you enjoy. Getting him gifts for obviously gifts that he doesn't need or want because he doesn't have any guns to constitute a gun wreck. Nonetheless, she's getting him gifts, going to the places that he enjoys, and just, you know, trying to be around and saying hi to him while he's playing hockey

and just very involved and supportive. I feel like she's a great girlfriend. If I'm going to give it to her, I'm not saying she's the best. I'm not saying she's a batty, but she, she's cool. What was the next one? What was the second one? That girl's salad. She's solid.

She's solid, man. Stacey's solid. Tell me otherwise. So we get Wayne's perspectives of Stacey, to be fair. Only Wayne perspective. Yeah. So we meet her as an ex-girlfriend. If they had made Wayne's world and, like, did a movie on his life, sort of like a

POV with Wayne going through his life, you know, he's like talking directly to camera. If they had done that a year earlier, we probably would have met Stacey as his great girlfriend that he, like, loves, and we would have seen a different side of her. So I recognize that. A little bit of a stalker. happens to show up every single place he goes to Not really getting the hint Saying stuff like

She brings him a happy anniversary present And he's like Stasia, we broke up six months ago She's like so That doesn't mean we still can't go out It does actually That's what breaking up is And then she gives him a gift

That's completely misguided She gives him a gun rack A gun rack A gun rack Don't you want to open your present? If it's a severed hand, I'm gonna be very upset open it okay what is it gun rack a gun rack a gun rack a gun rack she huh I don't even own a gun

let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack what am I gonna do with a gun rack but her heart is in a good place I gotta think that like while Wayne was with her she was somebody that would be like I saw this and I made you she wrapped it up nice I appreciate that. She always dressed nice. And can we be honest, Stacy can take a hit. There is two times in that movie where Stacy takes enormous hits. While they're playing hockey, she forgets to look forward and hits a steel car while driving a thing and just demolishes herself.

She eats it on that car. She gets up and she's like, oh. Uh-oh, incoming, Stacy, 10 o'clock. Highway. Are you all right? And she's okay. Giggles on. And then tries to make him jealous by making out with some random guy

and goes through a glass ceiling only to land on a couch and then survive and be fine. But she could take a hit. Stacey could take a hit. Yeah, a girl's tough. I got to say you glossed over what's going to drop her down from that girl being solid is the fact that while Wayne's having this moment, with this new girl, Cassandra, that he's, like, super excited that he's pursuing. He's going to places to see her.

Stacey keeps finding her way in there. And not only is she following her around. Wait a minute. Oh, Dreamweaver got to believe of a two-post to-night. Okay. He goes and finds the most private place. They literally go on the rooftop. And Stacey follows him up there, bringing some random.

random guy she literally just grabbed out a line who's like fabio look at dude it's like yeah yeah and then he's literally like positioning to be like oh we got to send here and make out to like make him jealous okay i cannot give a girl a rating of like that girl be solid if she's doing shit like that she's going out of her way to try to be like oh wait notice me way look i'm making out with another random guy like that's just not going to score points in my book but i do think that when she was a girlfriend that she was probably pretty solid. Now, probably stage five clinger. We've seen a little bit of that.

That's definitely why they broke up. Yeah, there had to be elements of that. We don't really ever get to learn what it was that went around in the relationship. But I have a feeling that we kind of get a hint of it. So based on what we see of her, I will say, I like that she always like dresses up nice. She looks nice.

She's gift ready. She always just seems to want to bring something that makes her man happy Even if it's not ever her man anymore and it's completely misguided It seems like her heart is in the right place, But she's sort of in that young girl mindset where like she doesn't really know how to Place it in the right direction and everything and the the grab in some random guy and bringing him on the roof That just drops her all kinds of points for me so but but can't take a hit drop my goodness dude that should have murdered her right She straight fell through a glass ceiling

At least three stories Lucky there was a couch there Because she would have died That Wayne's Road could have got dark Way quicker If that couch wasn't there Yeah Glass shattering following her

Like that would have been A crime scene immediately And Wayne probably would have been They would have been like What happened on the roof Go up there and they see Wayne and Cassandra Both of them are getting brought in for questioning

Let's be honest Like this whole movie takes a sad turn Quick I'm telling you Stacey could take her here man But she just kind of gets up and she's, again, she just giggles it off. She's like, uh-huh. Do you think Stacy's mom has got it going on? Or?

Never mind. Next. All right. You're sorry. I only have so many room for Justin's bad dad jokes. Is it my turn? Yes. All right.

I brought up Stacy. That was my thing. Yeah, yeah. That's where I was going with next. Yeah, I was going. About Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City, a classic. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Carrey. Care. She, um, she bad. She's bad. You see those outfits here? And then she just, yeah. Oh, yeah. She brings her A-game.

And she's, in the city, she's having sex. You know what I mean? Like, in the city's where that happens. Yes. So, I gathered that by the title. Yeah, I want to go ahead and say it, man. Careers about it. What negatives can you say about her?

She's trying to be with Big. Big's over there doing this, being an asshole. There's so she's out there just trying to live her life. as a writer. She's banging away because that's the style of the world but she has a conscious behind it

where she's questioning and wondering is this the right thing to do you know and now on top of that she's supported for other women to them, you know, open themselves

to that same world because they're all in it together and really have a discussion as to how to deal with that type of dating and world and then going back to her outfits Carrie got some out

go back to the sex city and look at her outfits or hats the amount of hats and shoes that she puts on staggering. She's giving Manhattan 2000s vibes hard.

I just remember her literally in the intro when she has that like kind of pink number and she gets like splashed by a puddle or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be honest, I haven't watched that much sex in the city but I went through a period where I saw a good slew of episodes straight

and here was my note that I took it. So I always was intrigued by Carrie Bradshaw because when that show was really popular, it was like when we were in college, and I was a writer in college. I had my column in the school newspaper, and I remember people saying to me like, oh, you're like the male Carrie Bradshaw, and I didn't know what that was.

I was like, you mean, are you, is that a reference to Terry Bradshaw? The former quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, like I didn't get it. I didn't know what I meant. So then I finally figured out, oh, because she's a column writer in Sex and the City, and that's cool. And then I watched a show, and I liked it. She was my favorite character. out of all of them. Here's the pattern that I noticed with all of the guys that she would date though.

So she would meet a guy and he would just seem perfect the first time she meets him. And it's just like, what could be wrong? Oh my God, you found the guy that you've been looking for. And then she like has dating. She hooks up with him. And then she kind of starts dating him. And then the next time she meets him, there's just like a little bit of like, oh, but he kind of does this thing. And he's, he's showing a little like, ah, this is something that's kind of annoying. And then the next time she hangs out with him, he's only that.

He's a thousand percent that. I remember one where it was like, oh, this guy's like into jazz, and he kind of scats, and he's like, oh, he did a little bit at the beginning, and it was like, oh, you're into jazz. That's cool.

And by like the third date, like he literally, like, stopped using words. He was literally just only communicating for like five minutes straight. And like, but did a bit da, but da. Then there was one there was a young guy, like, who's like a 25-year-old guy,

and at first he seemed really smooth. And then she, like, wakes up in his place. And then all of a sudden he becomes like Stoner-Brigi, literally walking around being like, I had a dream that I was a zombie. And I could only use my hands, but they were made from flipper seeds. And like, I don't know. And she's like trying to ask him, like, how to use things in his place.

and he has literally apartment, like made of, like, toilet paper and cardboard boxes. So that was what I gathered right away. It was just like, okay, she, is it her that has the bad judgment character, or is maybe she just has the luck that a girl who's reading a dating column in the mid-2000s would have, you know? I will say I never really was viving with Big and the fact that she always seemed like she was, I'm destined to be with that guy. I never really felt that But I also know

He ended up dying on a Peloton I know I saw that I saw that I had stopped watching What Thought we were gonna watch a video on it I'll put it in there It's a good song

It's a good song I'll uh I'm gonna say that girl be solid I always like Carrie Felt like there was a slight And also I saw the episode Where he like leaves her at the altar And you're telling me

They got back together after that Come Carrie Carrie Come on Carrie You're a stout You're a stout stunning columnists in Manhattan, New York, you have the finest fashion. You're going to tell me you have to, like, keep going back to the well that literally, like, kind of left you at the altar.

Come on. Come on. So I love Gary Bradshaw. I'll give her, that girl will be solid, though. What do you got? Is Taylor Swift a good girlfriend to Travis Kelsey? Man, all right. I know we went there.

I know we were doing. Now we're cooking. a little bit pop and cliche and trying to get a little bit of numbers because, you know, this is a hot topic at the moment. It really is. Taylor Swift is bad, man. Taylor Swift is, I mean, she has, like,

really impressed me with this relationship, man. First of all, what? What are you mad? Taylor Swift is the worst. No way. Give me your argument. Give me your argument as to why. She's the baddest.

I will. Go. Go. We'll do this. We'll do this right now. First of all, I appreciate that. No dance music. Go.

I appreciate that she gave Travis a shot. When I saw Travis first shoot his shot on his podcast in the summer, I remember thinking like, you know what? Why wouldn't Taylor give him a shot? He is one of the most successful players in the NFL. He's a funny guy watching him host Saturday Night Live. He was good on that. I don't see why he wouldn't get a shot. She's been dating these, like, British pop stars that are like,

I just feel like, yeah, what a good change of pace this would be for her. Like, give a solid NFL player, although I will say, Travis Kelsey kind of jumped a shark for me when, after the Super Bowl. I saw a video of him, like, in some Vegas club, shunning, like, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, hey, goodbye Niners. And I was like, all right, you know what, Kelsey, I'm a little bit over you a little bit right now. As a Niners fan, I'm just like, yo, okay, y'all got away with it. Y'all pulled it off.

Congrats. Like, Rick, do you need to, like, rub salt in the wounds at that level? Like, at that volume. And it makes me wonder a little bit if we're getting a little bit of, like, pop king, Travis Kelsey. Now I got Taylor Swift, and I'm going to be, first of all, that outfit he was wearing to the game and, like, postgame a little bit. Right. Is it my turn yet? But no, no, no.

I let me get to the, I got sidetracked with the Kelsey thing. Yeah, you're going too long to Kelsey. So Kelsey is good. So Kelsey makes Taylor. So the fact that she gave him a chance, I was like, all right, that's cool. I've never really followed Taylor's relationships closely before. But the fact that she showed up to almost all of his games, showing up in the cold winter, like literally the coldest game in NFL history.

Oh, in the heated suites? What? Still had to get there. Still went to Kansas City. By heated limousine? Like, what are you talking about? Like, she had a struggle to get there. She's a billionaire.

You go to Kansas City in the middle of, like, the cold winner then. You tell me what it's like to go into that stadium. Taylor could be doing anything a lot more fun, okay, at that time. That's going to the Super Bowl? No, no, no. I'm talking about the game against the Dolphins when it was, like, literally the coldest game in, like, NFL history. What does that do for her?

She's going to Kansas City to support her boyfriend. To put herself on television to their promote her. to get herself even more album sales because not only is she getting the audience that she already has, but she's exploiting the NFL audience, which is they're going to give her even more billions of listeners and more money. The woman I'm not, I won't discount this, is a genius, a financial genius, but she is, is. The worst because she's supporting her boyfriend from city to city, even though she has a whole tour happening. She's supporting him for him. She's supporting him for herself to get herself financially significantly higher.

I don't know. I think that. Give me another positive. She was literally in Tokyo the day before the Super Bowl, made the trip back. I'm just saying if I'm Travis Kelsey, if I'm an NFL player, regardless of my girlfriend is like a pop superstar sensation. If she has to be in Tokyo the day before I'm in the Super Bowl and she finds a way, of course, now she has more resources than most people, but she still finds a way to make it to the game, makes a jacket,

gets a jacket made with my number and my name on the back. That's my shit right there, man. That cost her a pretty penny, didn't it? That's my shit. Hey, question for you. Have you heard? It doesn't matter. She could have been, like,

supporting a clothing line that she's, like, co-branded with. She does. That's how she, question for you. Everything she does is going to be co-branded with something because everybody wants a piece of her. Have you heard? You're going to hold that against it. Have you heard the folk lore album?

Yes, we covered it already. shit it's shit it's it's it's crap it's the work that is my least here review that you do when you just start like resorting the sound effects well i'm sorry you just dislike it it's how i feel no i just look we went we covered that whole album in a previous episode i'm just saying like when your desire to like review a song is just or an album is just like literally doing your shitty sound effects does nothing for me. It makes me lose respect for your rankings as a whole. You know what?

I feel like you don't respect my rankings as it is. Well, I got to say I was happy to see her give Kelsey's shot, considering she's just been going out with British pop stars, and it's like step out of her realm. I was very skeptical at how it would work. I didn't even really know if it was a real thing or like a publicity stunt. But when I actually saw her going from city to shit, NFL City to support him, dressing and clothes that matched his number and shit.

I just love the support that she's been showing him. The fact she made it to the Super Bowl. That's all I could say. I want that for my girl. Even if my girl is like the most famous person in the world, she is putting her support for me above everything else. And I got to say, she bad. She bad.

Here's what it is. So I guess we got a hard disagreement on this one. I'll be honest, I just wanted to be the antagonist on that one. I wanted to be the protagonist. I wanted to give somebody a five. And I wanted to give somebody a negative. Yeah. Well, I'm glad Taylor was...

And I still feel that way about her. The worst. All about her. All about nothing else. That's how we feel. Worst and best girlfriends. Who was lame? Who was not?

Hope you guys enjoyed it. And let us hear where you standing. Yeah, yeah. Let us know what you guys feel. We're going to come out with different clips. Tap is going to throw these different clips of different. different ones we've talked about, comment, respond. It's the only way we really can blow up.

Full episode on YouTube. I want to stop working. I don't want to do it. I don't want to DJ anymore. Let's do this all the time. Let's talk. We'll give you our... Here's banter about famous fictional girlfriends that never really exists.

And we're going to debate over which one would actually better life partners. And get almost mad at each other and almost fight each other about it. That's what we're here for. We're ready to scrap over Rizzo and T. Swift. All of them. All of them. But for now, that's where we're going to leave it. If you guys got any ideas of whatever girlfriends or boyfriends, we should cover next?

Get at us. Let us know. But until then, we got one word for you. Next!