Dissect DJs - Blazing through NFL Week 1 🔥

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

The NFL is back! And with it, let's bring it a new segment where we fire through all the important notes from Week 1 in quick hitter fashion! Everything you need to know about the NFL's opening week in under 10 minutes:The Ravens vs Bills, did we just see the greatest game ever? - The Eagles splashy title defense has begun - The Browns go full Browns - Macho Mahomes is back - 49ers remind us what makes them the Niners, for better or worse - Are the Broncos elite? - Did the Dolphins already pack it in?It's a new era in the NFL and a new era with The Dissect DJs, 'Go Football' on 3: 1-2-3- NEXT!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Oh yeah, give me that football season hype. What's up, everybody? It's Ryan Castle of the Dice. DJs. If this is your first time joining the podcast, welcome. We're checking back in. Welcome back. And it is finally football season.

And after I've just spent an entire Sunday consuming awesome NFL action, as I'm one to do, I thought, let's try a little something different for a change. Because we are the DJs that like to spin it, mix it, throw it back. and dissect it. And as I'd mentioned on the Happy Gilmore 2 podcast, sometimes things happen that I take note of, and I just want to get on here and spin it real quick and throw it back at you guys.

And that is exactly what I'm feeling right now is I thought we could test out a new segment that I'm thinking I'm going to call blazing through the NFL rundown week one. If you're wondering what that is, that's exactly what I just said. Pay closer attention next time. Just a little segment I want to try.

I'm going to take a little bite out of it, see how it tastes. If we like it, we might keep biting that cookie. If we don't like it, we don't have to take another bite. But either way, I don't want to do a lot of preamble because it defeats the entire purpose of what I'm trying to do here. So let's go. Hit my music!

All right, let's get a cracking. Blazing through NFL, week one. The Philadelphia Eagles. Beginning their Super Bowl title defense by having their star defensive tackle get kicked out for spitting on the Cowboys QB a minute into the game might be the most Philly thing I've ever seen. Thursday night football was just three nights ago and it already feels like two weeks ago. Football, I'm so glad you're back.

Patrick Mahomes. Trucking through a charger defender as he's laying up to avoid contact as you're running out of bounds and then big up in yourself like you just did something macho. Hey Patrick, we all know the deal. That man would have been escorted out of the building in handcuffs if he tried to do anything physical to you while you're on your way out of bounds. And you know you would have sold it like a WWU superstar getting put through a table. O-N-1, last place in division. We might be all right. We might be all right. The Browns. Starting a 40-year-old QB, week one who hasn't been seen as a viable week one starter in five years, because your plan A QB has been a disaster in every possible way.

Classic Browns. The Browns. Losing a game because your kicker missed every crucial field goal and extra point. Shit. I'm sorry, I mispronounce that. Smit or Sizmit. That's a Browns kicker by the way. Don't worry. You don't worry. You don't need. to learn the proper pronunciation he'll be gone soon the browns losing a game 17 to 16 to the bangles i can't quite explain it but that is the most browns bangles score ever the buccaneers and falcons ending a game on a missed field goal with a final score of 23 to 20 i can't quite explain it but that is the most falcons buck score ever yeah beggar mayfield after years of general media not wanting to see it we all just need to admit it bad man be dangerous i woke up this morning feeling pretty dangerous Ameca Ibuka, coming in a fantasy draft season as the darling fantasy rookie that's gonna go off.

Scoring two TDs this week. Point Fantasy Scoutheads. Aaron Rogers. Finding a way to make the Jets lose one more time in his first game of not being a jet is the most Jets thing since he tore his Achilles five minutes into his jet's career. Steeler fans talking themselves into a Super Bowl run with Aaron Rogers, an early favorite for best story to watch unfold in 2025. Hey, Steeler fan, mark this moment and get back to me in week. As you're trying to explain your fifth straight loss, as Rogers defends a six-point outing on MacVee by saying, there are some people in the locker room that aren't sharing his elite vision.

Can't wait to see it. Rogers. Never change. Actually, do. Or don't. I really don't care. Justin, my dissect DJ's partner and noted Steelers fan boy, told me to make sure I talk about Chris Boswell. Chris Boswell.

It was pretty good kicker. There you go. I talked about Boswell. Dolphins. Losing 33 to 8. To a team led by Daniel Jones is the best reason I've heard for a team's fan base to pack it in and decide this is the fall they finally go on that backpack journey to Nepal. For those keeping score, it took half a quarter for Tyreek Hill to be seen crashing out

on the sidelines. Congrats to those who took the under. Giants! A lot of pre-season hype. Six points later. Giants reminding a lot of people, they are in still fact the Giants. And Russ Wilson is still the QB. Saints!

Week 1 starting QB was Spencer Rattler, and that completes my season report on the Saints. Lions, going 15 and 2 last year only to get immediately bounced in the playoffs, lose both offensive and defensive coordinators, and then instantly crash back to mediocrity is probably the most Lions way that could have gone. Some people will tell you that the Packers 2713 win over the Lions is a we have arrived game. I'll let those people say it. The Seahawks, having a player named Kobe Bryant making big plays against my Niners. Don't. Niners, instantly reminded me that Jake Moody was the sole reason for about three Niners' losses last year.

Nineers, instantly reminding me that Jake Moody is still the kicker even though there was a whole offseason to correct it. Niners, why though? Brock Purdy, showing he can bring it home when he needs to make a play with the game on the line. Love to see it. That's pretty good. Put a dub on the board. Niners. Making it through a game this season without ending it with a devastating injury report.

Bow for one. Ryan, hitting a wall sometime around the third quarter of the afternoon games and dozing off for a quick spell. One for one. Trying to figure out if the Broncos are an elite team. TBD. Trying to figure out if Bo Nix is an elite QB. TBD. All I know is as of now, five fantasy points can go screw.

What a fuck. wins a win, right Denver? Cam Ward. Looked alright. Probably would have helped if a receiver caught a pass. Titans, probably gonna suck. Sorry, bro. And speaking of the Titans,

Derek Henry, that dude. Lamar Jackson, That Dude Part 2. I can never in my life remember seeing a more dangerous run-thick combination than those two. Because there's never been one. One is like tackling a ghost, the other will truck through your soul. It is a nasty combo. Ravens, I've officially put Lombardi on notice.

That being said, I hate them. That will never change. You gotta love when week one Sunday night football gives us a game of the year contender, and probably winner. Hey, that's pretty good. Bill's Ravens, what can't you say? Nice. Late in the fourth quarter, Justin texts me, what a game.

And I responded, this is why football. That's it. This is why football. Yeah, boy. Finish that sentence however you need. You know what I'm getting at. You could make a solid argument. The top five plays of the week all came from this game, and you'd be right.

Yep. Derek Henry, having the best game of his incredible career only to cough it up and cost the Ravens the game. Either die a hero or live long enough to see become the mbamma ma. You get it. You know where I'm going with that. That game couldn't have ended quick enough for the Ravens, and it didn't. Congrats Bill's Mafia. Josh Allen.

That dude part three. Patrick Mahomes, watching this game at home. Oh, fuck. It's over. Solid run, boys. The Bill's Ravens era has arrived. See you in the AFC championship. And that is the blazing through the NFL rundown week one.

I will see you next week. Or will I? I don't know. We'll see. football next