Dissect DJs - Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

In another crossover episode with the 3 Things We Gotta Talk About podcast, we take a look back at the 1990 Digital Underground hit "The Humpty Dance" and break down all the pressing questions that come with it- like what the hell is the Humpty Dance? Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Stop what you're doing, because I'm about to ruin. The image and a style that you used to. I look funny. But yo, I'm making money, see. So, yo, I hope you're ready for me. Oh, stop what you doing, because we about to ruin this song, probably, because that's what we do. Because we are the DJs that like to spin it, mix it, play it back, and dissect it. Because we are the dissect DJs.

And I am DJ Castle with you coming live with another throwback episode where we're We're going to take it back to another breakdown this song segment from season one of the three things we got to talk about podcasts. And in today's episode, we are breaking down Digital Underground's The Humpty Dance. The Humpty Dance from 1990, which brings me to this, how's everybody doing? Happy hump day, which is a sentence that does not make sense, not because it's not Wednesday, but because that is a stupid thing to say. Don't ever call Wednesdays. hump day. If you have a person in your office who walks up to you on Wednesdays and says, hey, happy hump day, you should electrocute that person immediately. Now I know what you're going to ask next. Ryan, how do I electrocute somebody? That is up to you to decide. I am not the one who was electrocuting people in my office. That is what you are doing, hypothetically. But hypothetically, that person deserved it because they referred to Wednesdays as a hump day. And that is a stupid thing

to call any day. And you know what? Even though today's release, state is not on Wednesday, even though that would have made perfect sense, you could be listening this on any day. You could be listening on us on Friday. And you're looking back and you're like, hey, remember how much it sucked when it was Wednesday? Well, we made it through that shit. And now it's Friday, which is a way better day because there is zero risk of anybody walking up to and saying happy hump day. But I digress. Now this dissection of the Humpty Dance that you were about to listen to came from episode six of the three things we got to talk about podcasts in which Jag and I did an entire hump day special in which we discussed three things hump day related

number one is hump the grossest word in the english language number two humpty dumpty what the hell is up with that guy what is the story how did it happen why did it happen and why is it a story that we all know that's actually my favorite discussion in the episode I encourage you to go back and give that one to listen but number three three was the breakdown of the Digital Underground's 1990 classic, the Humpty Dance. And that is what we're going to get into right now. And just as I did in the last throwback episode, the end of the road, I'm just going to go ahead and let the episode play out as it did on the Three Things podcast because we actually

get into another great discussion, putting together the ultimate hump stable, which I know is a sentence that does not make sense to you now, but that's the beauty of this episode. By the end of it, it'll all make sense. All right, so let's say happy non-hump day and throw it back to 1990 with the digital underground. Rest and peace, shock gee. This fool is doing because I'm about to ruin the image and a style that you used to. I look funny. But yo, I'm making money, see, so yo world, I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather round. I'm a new fool in town and my sound's way down by the underground. This fool's making money. He's underground. He's handling business. You know what? The start of this song It's a lot of bragging mostly

And that's what the whole song is actually It actually is It's just one long But you gotta give him credit Because you know what There's one thing that I lack in my life It's you know what? I lack in my life the confidence

He's just like you know what I'm the shit He's walking in like I'm the shit That's all he starts saying Yeah And I'm about to ruin To steal the nostalgia you used to Like he literally comes in and just

Yo I'm the shit I'm here And it's just It's a certain level confidence in balls to be able to walk into a room and start off, call it at the gate, the beginning of the camp, I'm the Humpty Dumpty. Yeah, it takes enough balls to walk in and tell anybody your name's Humpty Dumpty. And then take a dump everywhere, right?

I'm drink of all of heresy you got in your shelf, so just let me introduce myself. My name is Humpty. Pronounce with the Humpty. Yo, ladies, oh, how I like to pump thee. That's a pretty weak rhyme. I'm not going to lie. That's great. It's really, you know, he didn't really.

My name is Humpty. I like to think that he spent a day. pronounced with an umpty. Oh. You're right. That is it absolutely. It's a really lazy ride. He also said he was going to drink up all your, your, your, your scotch.

What did he say? Hennessy. Your Hennessy. Why the fuck are you even inviting this man in your house? This man walks in, cocky and shit. Announcing himself as fucking Humpty Dumpty. Then he grows right for your scotch. Right for your Hennessee.

Right for your Hennessee. I don't know why the fuck I can't remember Hennessy. What a weird memory lapse I'm having right now. We've just listened to it twice. Tennessee. To out of you To just let me introduce My day was bumping

Whatever. Anyways, yes Let's continue this Gone And all the rappers in the top ten Please allow me to bump me All right He likes to funk the ladies

Yeah And he's gonna bump All the rappers in the top ten Yeah Now again This man is coming in With sheer confidence Yeah

Something I haven't been able Do in my life Dude I'm taking notes from this man No The level of just walking in to know you're the shit is that's not confidence that's cocky it steps over

it steps over confidence is just walking and not saying anything but like you know I'm shit but then pronounce it announce it yeah yeah you're walking over cockiness and I've never been able to be cocky but I appreciate when somebody's able to go that route because it's like man you literally are just an asshole

I appreciate it until he wants to drink up all my hands and I'm kind of over his cockiness Why'd you get handsie anyway? We don't drink a handoffty when the stereos pop me He just talks about Humpty-Duty. You know what? I want to just say

the rhyme creativity in this song is about as solid as the Humpty Dumpty rhyme itself. It's really, it kind of feels like just like Humpty-Dunty. In both cases, it kind of feels like a first grader who forgot to do his homework

and then like as they were waiting on the bench outside to walk in and was like, oh fuck, I forgot we were supposed to write a poem. Humpty-dumpty-dumpty, pronounced with the umpty. Ladies, I like to funk thee. And DJs, I'm gonna bump thee.

Yeah, there you go. Signed Brandon. I like the rhyme. I like my beat funky. I'm spooky. I like my oatmeal. Come on. That part's kind of funny.

He's just going through a rhyme dictionary right now. He likes his own little lumpy. Nobody likes it. Yeah. I don't know, man. I feel like he gets towards the end. He definitely didn't take more than a day on this song. I can guarantee you that.

Straight gangster Mac But sometimes I get ridiculous I'll eat up all your crackers And your licorice Oh yo fat girl Come here are you ticklish Yeah I called you fat Look at me I'm skinny

So he just tried to make up The fact that he literally Legitimately just called Some woman fat He doubles down immediately Doubles down like yeah I called you fat Yeah you heard me And then he asked her if she's ticklish

Asked if ticklish But then after that says Look at me I'm skinny So you just call her fat Called yourself skinny Fuck you I'm not fat Doesn't stop you for getting busy, but like, how does that help the fact that you just called this woman?

I kind of want to know if she was ticklish. I don't want to know how big this woman it was. Like, how fat are you calling this woman? Like, was she, like, actually fit and you're, like, you have a weird connotation of the way women are supposed to be? Or was this woman legitimately 400 pounds and actually fat? And so, like, and you're super skinny. Like, how skinny are you? What if she was actually not fat at all?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying? She wasn't fat. He's just an asshole. He's like, you're looking at me how I'm skinny. Like, this guy legitimately went and called her. the woman fat and be like yeah but it's cool I'm skinny. Imagine this real quick from just you're chilling at a party

you're a little faded, you're just kind of chilling on a chair and you watch this man walk in and he just comes I imagine he kicks down the door he looks ridiculous he immediately announces his name as Humpty Dumpty he struts his way in grabs all the Hennessy fucking

pounds that shit throws it away then walks up to a girl and says hey fat girl yeah I call you fat look at me I'm skinny. It falls off a fucking wall and all the King's Toorses Can't fix his ass It never stop me from getting busy

I'm a freak I like the girls with a boom I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom Now that's kind of unique I can imagine pretty much any other bathroom Being a better location than a Burger King bathroom I mean is Burger King bathroom equivalent to like a baker's bathroom And a McDonald's bathroom and a Jack in a Box bathroom

And a dough taco? Like all these different Fast food restrooms are gross Are they all equal? Bathrooms? Who's fucking throwing game at a Burger King? If you're able to go in a Burger King, order a Whopper, the girl's ordering some fries, you're like, yo, you want a milkshake or some shit, and then you want to get Humpty Dumpty

and then pull it. Someday you go from offering a milkshake to getting busy in a Burger King bathroom. You got to give yourself some crap. I mean, I'm not trying to say that, I mean, that sounds a little nasty, but man, like, that's a vibe that Humpty Dumpt don't give a shit about what's nasty, what's that. To find the girl that's down for that, and you're just happened to find her, and she's like, yeah, I'm getting

a milk tank. The same girl that would work if you I guess I'm down to fucking the bathroom. Like, you know, that's a unique situation. It's probably the same kind of girl who would react well to, hey, fat girl, are you a ticklish? She's like, yeah. Do you like to get busy in a Burger King bathroom?

Although he never says, like, you just met this girl. It could be a girlfriend. You know what it is? No, no, no, no, I figured it out. This is the kind of guy who once he realizes he's in on a chick just doesn't give a fuck he's just gonna talk shit to her yeah yeah he's gonna fuck it yeah that's Humpty right you stop dealing with those guys you guys yeah I'm crazy allow me to am ugly but it just don't phase me I'm still getting in

the girls dance and I even got my own dance this shit doesn't phase him this man is very cocky you know what it is it's that ugly cocky it's like he's like yeah I'm ugly shit what you're gonna do about I already know that it'll stop me because I realized confidence is all I fucking need. I'm gonna call this bitch fat, ticklish and fucker in a burking bathroom. What's you gonna do about it? They get into the... Dude, we still got five minutes left in this song.

I do kinda wanna know what the Humpty Dumpt is, because he's asking us to do it. We should switch to the others. I'm gonna switch to the other. Yeah, just go to last one. Hey, what is the Humpty Humpty Humpty? Ah yeah, that's the break y'all. Look at all that bass group right here. Hey.

Hey. Thank you. Since the actual song is called the Humpty Dance, you'd be amazed that it took three minutes and ten seconds before you actually told us what the... It should have been established up at the gate. Possibly out the gate. And then from there tell us about whatever story you had

with the Fat Girl in the Burger King bathroom. Yeah, you could have got into that later while we were all doing the Humpty Dance. Yeah, you told us the Humpty Dance, tell us the story, then you finished the Humpty Dance. You've asked us two different portions at least in the song to do the Humpty Dance, And we have no idea what it is.

I get to know what I'm doing. Explain yourself, Humpty. We're a little disappointed. I've got to be honest in your own to ground. Like this whole time, even in my life, I remember being like,

what is the Humpty dance? Yeah. You're telling me. I'm not having a visual. Check it out. First I lift to the side like my legs was broken. Shaking and twitching

like I was smoking. How the fuck am I supposed to do that dance? First I lean to the side like my legs is broken. Yeah. And then do something else like I was smoking. What? Neither of those things sound like sexy danceman.

You're not giving me any kind of visual, like, Cupid shovel, to the left, to the left, to the bright, like, give me something. It's a boring-ass dance, but at least I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing during this fucking dance. Also, I don't usually envision a crackhead with a broken leg as what I'm trying to embody in the dance floor. Yeah. That doesn't sound like a sexy visual to me. I don't even know what to do at this point. You're teaching me the dance, and I have no idea what to do at this point.

If a crackhead just walked in the club right now, like he'd be killing the Humpty Dance. Killing it. I know everybody like, I guess that's a dance. dance right there. Crazy Wack funky. People say you look like MC Hammer on crack Humpty. So our goal

in doing the Humpty Dance is to look like MC Hammer on crack. Need I remind that MC Hammer had a little bit of a crackhead look to begin with. MC Hammer was going

super fast. You can't touch him. Yeah. And now you want me look like him on crack? Huh. I don't even know what to do it.

I think there's a reason that none of us have the visual of the Humpty Dance in her head because I can't imagine anybody pulling In that description, it's...

It's a bad start. It's crazy. Yeah, it's not giving me a whole lot to work with here. It's not giving me a whole lot to work with here. It's supposed to look like a fitter, a convulsion. Anyone can play this game. This is my dance, y'all. Humpty Humps my name.

It's supposed to be a fit or a convulsion. A fit or a convulsion. Okay, so you could actually be having a seizure on the dance floor and everybody's been like, check it out how you're doing a Humpty dance. Uh-huh. Everybody could get around. Imagine, like, somebody like, on the ground, like, blah. Like dying.

And everybody was just like, oh. I bet this is actually happy, dude. I bet somebody has OD on the dance floor convulsing with a full-on. And he's like, oh, look, he's doing nobody telling him to do. He looks like Ems to Hammer on Crack, go. That's exactly it. This is the worst description of a dance that I'm telling you. The worst dance that has ever been.

Okay, first of all, if no two people are doing it the same, that's not a dance. That's the antithesis of what a dance is. We're all supposed to be doing a similar dance in order to pull the dance off. Yeah. The butterfly dance. The electric slide. Yeah. The electric boolulu.

Whatever. The bird. Everybody kind of knows what a bird kind of goes like. Yeah. You just told us that everybody's going to do it differently. And then what was the last thing you said? I'm up to humpty hums my name. No two people will do it the same.

You got it down. You got it down when you appear to be in pain. I don't know if I want to do this dance. You know what? You could actually just walk into a crack house and watch a bunch of people riding on the floor at OD and you'd be like, oh, we doing the Humpty in here? The Humpty Dance is fully being done in this entire house right now. Just bump that music. Be in pain. You got to be in pain while doing this dance. This dance is crazy. Humpin, funkin, funkin' jumping, dig around, shaking your rump and when a do-to-chump, points a finger like a stunt, tell them step off. I'm doing the hump.

I definitely have no idea what the thing is talking about. is the worst cover-up of a man who just has no idea how to dance, I think I've ever heard. Because this man clearly has no idea how to dance or has ever. That whole description of what the Humpty Dance was. He literally got into it for a second. It was like, first you do with this something, and then just forgot about what he was talking about. And just started going to like, you got to be convulsions and be like in pain. And then nobody does it the same.

Pretty much anything that doesn't look like dancing. Yeah, you got that. You got that for dance. Congratulations. You got that. shit! Hey, we're doing the Humpty Dance? Nobody you guys.

Comeos! Kamauz! Comeos, motherfucker! And that's it. There's apparently another fucking... Two minutes, two minutes and forty seconds left in this song. The instructions just to follow you continue to do the Humpty Dance. I don't even know what the rest of this song is.

Have I heard the rest of this song? Oh yeah, he starts telling him how the different races that need to do. All the races. White people now. Well, white people will do any dance so they can actually get... Hey! Hey! Oh, Samoans.

See, I'll leave the Samoans out. Don't fuck with Samoans. Because if you fucking take them out, they'll come with their entire family and fuck you up. They always got their whole family with them, man. They don't fuck. And they don't fuck around. And they're yet.

I think that's it, Steve. I think we almost... You know, it's like... If you had actually called the dance, Let's get stupid. It would have been better than the humpie dance. Because, like, that's what the dance is. Let's get stupid.

There's no actual real dance to it. Let's get stupid. Oh, man. All right. So, we have come to the conclusion that the Humpty Dance is created by the cockiest man possible who decided to disrespect a woman who was a little bit on the larger slide. According to him. In a Burger King bathroom and make a hump.

Dance with her. I think actually when you get to... And that creates a dance that nobody can do. I think once you get to the actual dance, it kind of blows the cover off on whether this guy is actually cool or not. Because if we want to just like cover it, imagine again, you're sitting on the sofa. It's kind of like faded out and you watch this guy's entire performance as he kicks in on the party. He struts in like he's the shit. The only evidence that he's a shit of any kind is what he's telling you.

He's assuring you he's the fucking baddest. about the bump-the, he's the Humpty. Yeah. And then he drinks up all your Hennessy. He says, hey, fat girl. Then he brags that he's gotten busy in a burking bathroom. Probably not the classiest brag I've ever heard. If I heard a guy claim that in a party, I'm probably not thinking I want to kick it with this guy.

Then he assures everybody he's got a dance that we all need to do. And it ends up just being convulsing like a crackhead in pain. I think at a certain point you kind of look at him. Like once he's like riding on the floor like, come on dude, the Humpty Hum? Do the Humpty Hump! I feel like... Should we just ask this guy to leave, maybe? I don't think he's bringing anything to the party.

He just fucking trashed her Hennessee. He called your girl fat. He's convulsing on the floor and claiming he started a new dance. Like, probably just kick him out, right? Dude, this guy... I don't know about you, but I think this Humpty guy sucks. What's funny about this Humpty dance is that everybody hears it out the gate because it has a great beat to it that everybody knows, right?

And then very quickly turns into a song that nobody understands. but because the beat was so strong out the gate. The beat carries the whole thing. The beat carries it to be a song that still gets played to this day. And really, I can't really think I've ever seen Humpty, what is it, Digital Underground? Yeah. Yeah, I remember they had a song with Tupac that I liked, but other than that, can you imagine this being like the card you have to carry everywhere you go as a musician?

Like, hey, do this stupid song where you act cocky even though you're an asshole. and you do a dance that doesn't make sense. It would be a tough gig to actually have to make this near Hill to die on. I mean, that's probably why they only came out with like two hits. That's what I mean. Like, I can't even think of another song of that Humpty. The only other one they did was the one of the Tupac. Yeah, that's what I said.

You said that earlier? I can tell you were listening. So they literally went to concerts. That's what I mean. Like, to this day, they've been playing the Humpty dance as the only thing anybody really knows them for. Damn really quick. How bad is that? 35 years.

Yeah. A long time ago, you had to realize. fuck I should have at least put a dance in there I could have made it a dance who probably wouldn't have hurt me to actually make it an easy it could have been an easy two step a basic ass two step that everybody and then you actually have a dance or just a pelvic

thrust like it's the humpty dance and then you turn to the other side he turned left side two humps right side two humps right side two humps boom humpty dance I don't understand I'm surprised there wasn't like a producer that was like hey guys want to just like actually make this a dance like everybody's gonna be singing

do the humpty hump Like we got that part down All it takes is a pretty basic ass Like you know One two I don't just a thought If you're gonna make it Just put it a little

Something in it guys Yeah You know what I found right now One more thing to close us out Oh shit We're keeping hump day going on Are we going on a bonus hump day time This is Bobby Brown

Humping around baby Yeah So Hump day special Hump day special For the grossest word In the English language It means both a bump in the road and sex.

Yeah, everything. It means the weird dance. It means falling off a fucking wall. It means... Being an egg man. Being an egg man, it means going over bumps. It means something about lady lumps. It means the worst day of the week, apparently.

Even though you're supposed to get excited. Because you're on the back end. Nobody's actually excited. Bobby Brown's apparently humping around doing some shit. He says everybody's humping around. Yeah. All right, turn this part up. I don't think anybody actually knows any of the words of this other than everybody's

humping around. Yeah, nobody. It's like, everybody meant, everybody, man. Like, nobody knows what words he's saying there. It's very, and then is he actually tried to, like, sing, like, a serious ballad in between talking about humping around. You keep trying to, but, um. Yeah, nobody has ever known any other words other than humping around in the song.

I'm trying one more random song I never heard, but it's called humping. What? It's a terrible song for the night. That's actually the... But it's by the Gap Band. Oh, the Gat Band. I trust them. Me too.

Yeah, just from the visual of these guys' Covered of... No, just the visual of their... Oh, the Gat Band are epic looking. They got the Froze that, I mean, the perfect, perfect Africa. No, they had like the perfect 70s band look. Absolutely.

And sound. Wow, this is the best hump song yet. How about that? The best hump song is. was actually the one that we had never heard of all of them. Never heard of. And it's just straight called Humpin. Do you think in like the 70s Humping was like a

sexier term? It couldn't have been. It's always had to be fucking girl's weird term. It's a weird fucking turn. Gap band couldn't make it sexy. Bobby Brown couldn't make it sexy. They did the best though. Gap band started trying to and everybody else tried to follow and just fucking... No, if Gapang couldn't do it, we all should have just given up on a red day. We were like, you know what Gapad

didn't bring it? Yes, everybody. We're done here. Three things talked about plus him a little bit of something else how about credit to the fact that we were able to do a three plus things about the straight the shittiest word in the english shuddy word hump like we talk about the things that nobody else wants to touch here do you think anybody else he wants to indulge that hump is a word in the english language nobody ever wants to like invigorate we don't want to admit that that's right that that's right that's a word that people say i mean i feel three shades grosser just by talking about it but you know i feel i feel humped

out. Okay. And with that... I think on that note, we're... Yeah, we're... I think we're all humped. I humped the shit out of this episode.

I'm not even going to follow up with that. I have a hump that's developing in my... There's a hump... Never mind. Oh, what about the hump in the back? We didn't even like... The humpsch back of Notre Dame. We could have talked about him.

We didn't talk about him. We didn't talk about... We didn't even get to him. There's a hump elements that weren't even grow. We didn't even grow. We didn't talk about... Engelbert. Humperdink?

Dude. I'm so glad that we're throwing these guys in there and then, because they deserve a special mention on Hump Day special. Humpbacked Wails? How do we forget? How did we forget humpback whales, dude? Free Willy was a humpback. I think.

No. But still, he was a whale. I don't know my whale. It was half of what I talked about. He was half a humpback? Is that actually? No, he was half a humpback whale. Yeah.

Because he was a whale, not a humpback, so it was half. That those whales were humpbacks. No, they were killer whales. Dang. We're creating a good stable of, of Humps here. We got, I blew it by fucking saying free Willie, dude. Willie was a hump. We got Willie in the stale. We got, what was the hunchback's name? Quasimodo. We got Quasimodo in the stale, Inglebird, Humpard Dick, which is that really an actual man's name?

No, it's not his actual name, that's his stage name. He made that a stage name? Yeah. What is, I'm going to look this up? Look it up. It's not his real name. What is his real name that? I want to know. Inglebert, Humperdick's real name is like John Smith or some shit. It's that really crazy. Humberdick's real name. What is it? Arnold George Dorsey. I told you it was something basic. Basic-ass, motherfucker.

And he changed it. And he was like, you know what? My name is Arnold. I'm going to go with Inglebert Humperdick. Yeah. How did that happen? I mean, I'm looking at his picture right now, and this dude is for sure an Engelbert Humper Dick.

All the way. That would have been my guess if he had asked me to guess with me. All right. For Quasimoto, for Engelberg Humper Dick. for Willie Black-Eye piece, Humps. For Furgie,

for the Humpty Dumpty Humpty Dumpty and the Humpty Dance crew and all the Humps All the Kingsmen and all the Kings horses And the camels. What? Oh, the camels out there

and all the people that are just trying to get through another Wednesday. We hope that we helped you do that here. If there's anything I can do for you today, I hope we helped your hump day along. So now you're on the other side. Hey, guess what?

You're on the dead. down slope of the hump now we hope you hump you just put a period on that one yeah yeah that's it it's a fair hope we hope we made your hump day spectacular now go ahead and hope you later and go make your own hump day everything three things talked about see y'all next time we out for justino on castle we are you