Dissect DJs - Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

Episode 171 jumps smack in the mid-2000s when emo rock was ALL the rage, as we break down Panic! at the Disco's 2005 smasher "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"!We all know the words, but do we know the story? We intently watch along with the iconic music video and try to figure out once and for all why somebody needs to close the Goddamn door with a little poise and rationality.Video Episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1cahC3LdnwListeners of this episode might also enjoy: 2000s music, music review podcast, circus performers, video podcast, comedy, Dissect DJs, Ryan Castle, DJ JAG, karaoke, lyrics, song stories, VMAs, best of 2000s, DJ music, remix, theater, Broadway, live performance, YouTube podcast, video review, Spotify podcasts, TikTok, Instagram, madlibs, wedding videos, tragedy, theatre, nightmare wedding, My Chemical Romance, Vampire Weekend, Fallout Boy, video reaction, lyric reaction, music video podcast.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It's the die sick. It's the die sick DJ's. Oh, we're back, baby. What's going on, everybody? It's the die, sex, DJ. With your boy, DJ, MC, Jig, Jig. And of course, you know who I'm with. What up, Steeze?

I think it's got to set the record for the quickest you've ever stopped. Any song. You're not going to introduce yourself? You're not going to introduce yourself? I am Professor DJ Castle. He is Professor Jagg. In case you're not watching the videos, we are wearing doctor shirts today. And there's a good reason for that.

we decided to wear a doctor shirts today. And you know why? They were $5.5.5. I was going to say at the T-shirt factory, but yeah, I guess that's a new T-shirt factory. Yeah. And do you know why? Who are you, first of all? I said Castle.

And we are the DJs that like to... You didn't answer the question when I was going to say that. Because we're the DJs. I like to spin it, mix it, throw it back and dissect it. And we're throwing this one back today to, if I had to guess off the top of my head, I'm saying 2006, 2005. Yeah, that makes sense.

And this is widely considered a emo anthem inspired by the passage from Douglas Copeland's 1992 novel Shampoo Planet. Who knew that, right? I think DJs do this for you. We make sure you know all the info

about all these songs, and this is the Panic at the Disco. I write sins, not tragedies. Which doesn't make any sense. Maybe it will by the end of this. We'll see. We got the lyrics out on this one. We want to do a little breakdown.

We're breaking down like we used to. It's actually not panic at the disco. It's panic! The disco. This group, based on just the name and titled the song alone, and their video where they're wearing top hats and, like, eyeliner in their suits and their... These guys were for sure theater majors, probably did some improv, acted out mystery, dinner tales, and are very into their art.

I'm just going to say it that way. And also, I will say that at this time, this was such a vibe that people were into. This was everywhere. It was everywhere, wasn't it? And this sort of music. Remember my chemical romance? That just feels like another group that were in that setting. Look how emo that is.

Just like that. Just as I. I don't know who Vampire Weekend is, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that they're also in this category of... Dashboard Confessions. Artists. Yeah, there you go. You know? Where it was just like...

I don't even know how to describe it. Like, that kind of name. group where it was just like it's almost like they did one of those things or like what's the thing that's in front of you right now and the last time you were vulnerable what are those two items put those together that's your band name that's who we are so the last time you freaked out where was it how would you describe that experience it was yesterday i was panicking the disco yesterday at the kitchen yesterday's kitchen is a great band name that's right up in this yeah this song i always listen to and was like, what are they talking

about? What is really going on here? And I can't wait to really dissect this one and really kind of get into detail as to what they're talking about. Are you ready for this? No. Let's do it. What an emo answer. Exactly.

I imagine as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor and I can't help but to hear. No, I can't help but to hear in exchanging of words. What a beautiful wedding. a bride's made to wait. Yeah, but what a shame.

Really wish you wouldn't drop the sound in the middle of the song like that. I did that on purpose, but I did. So then, uh, the post game editor is going to have to figure out how to. No, just leave it. It's fine. People get you. People understand. Okay.

Oh, we'll imagine. As I'm pacing the pews of a church corridor and I can't help but to hear. No, he can't help but to hear the exchanging of words. This already feels like a school assignment. So he's listening. He's basically walking. He's at a church. He's walking and he's listening and then he can't help but to hear.

No, you can. Okay, you can help but to hear. Stop listening. Go outside. Well, how loud is it? What are you paying attention? Why are you? I mean, how loud is the conversation?

It doesn't matter. You're too close to people if you're able to hear their conversation unless they're yelling it. And in no way does it say somebody was yelling. It's an exchanging of words. Why are you in their conversation? I'm more confused as to why you're pacing the pews of a church corridor. Because you're in there for a wedding.

You're there for a wedding. Oh, he's at a wedding. Did he say that yet? No, but that's why he's doing it. Because the next lyrics go, what a beautiful wedding. Oh, there it is. Okay. What a beautiful wedding says a bridesmaid to a waiter.

Thought he was just hanging out. So why is there a waiter at the church? That's a little random that the waiters at the church. But in any case. Maybe it's one of those weddings where they do the whole thing. Everything's at the church? Yeah. I don't think I've ever done that.

Don't do that people. That's a bad deal. Yeah, go to a nice reception hall. I have a good sound quality for the DJ. Did it into your church because, like, It's part of your community. And I like, no, we have a big care. Unless you get a significant discount or even free, then I get it.

Then I get it. Probably leave early, though. Continue to dissect this. And so what a beautiful wedding says, a bride's made to a waiter. And yes, but what a shame. What a shame. The poor groom's bride is a whore. Color me intrigued.

So who do you think said that? The bride's made to the waiter? She was the only one talking here? The waiter's just like. Yeah, because, I mean, the way, at least my lyrics are written out is that those are written in quotation. So it's almost like a conversation. I know, but it's just, it says exchanging a word. So the bridesmaids originally said, what a beautiful wedding, says that bridesmaids to a waiter. We know that. But do you think the waiter was like, and yes, but what a shame?

The way that the lyrics are written out in mind, it feels like that was the waiter responding to the bridesmaid. That's the way it seems to word it, because it's different quotations. How does the way to know that the brides is a whore? I'd say just kind of do your job right now. I mean, you're there to like work a way. I need a drink. You're throwing a lot of toxic heat into the flames right now of somewhere where you're just like getting paid minimum wage to serve some drinks. So maybe stay in your lane, Brazzif. And who does it? Is it a guy or a girl?

Do we know that's a guy or a girl? Doesn't say that waiter. It would be waitress. So yes, it is a waiter. Okay. Well, that's, if I had to guess, that wouldn't have been my guess. But, yeah, this guy is, he's, some people just are fueled for the drama. They want to, like, just watch it burn.

Like, you know what I said. This is the part that always pissed me off. We're going right into it. I chime in with the haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door. What are you doing but in their conversation? What is your problem? They're talking. Is he the groom, you think?

Is that what this is? Is that what it is? Maybe it never says that. Well, the only reason he would be so mad about overhearing that conversation, like to that degree, is like if he heard somebody talking about his bride like that. And he just found out the waiter was just, laying it in, throwing those words out there. I wouldn't have said, having you people ever heard of,

I would have been like, Hey, give me your fucking apron, you're done. All right, you know what? I don't, I want you off the fucking premises. I'm calling the police.

Five minutes if you're not gone, okay? Oh, and is he talking literal? Like they could have closed the door to talk? Yeah, where are they communicating? Maybe that's what's happening here. Have you ever heard of closing?

I thought it was more the, the whole time I've ever thought about this. I thought it was more of like a theatrical, like, door. Well, like, close. at this guy it is everything with these people is theatrical this guy's literally wearing like a red coat that like goes down to like the back of his calves one of those top hats i mean this guy looks like an extra from like a christmas tale in piccadilly circus circa 196012 look at that yeah these are these are the the of the dramatic types which i mean i think is why the waiter actually probably

fits right in he's probably he probably knows some stuff a lot of of drama being spilled around this corridor. And this guy's done. He's not having it. So he's telling him, close the goddamn door. No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. What do you think poise and rationality means? Probably not talking shit.

Just actually be like, give me the facts. What are the real facts? Like, what are you going off of? What is your information? Where are you getting your information? I'm trying to handle this like an adult. if I was here to just do my job as a waiter and just to like pour some drinks and pass some sandwiches out

I would carry myself with a certain level of poise and rationality that says I'm not going to go to the bridesmaids and be like what is shame the bride is a whore though right like isn't that isn't that don't we are we all a little annoyed about that like I just yeah I'd be like fuck this guy dude according to chat chb-t poise is known as emotional control and rationality is logical thinking so as an example Staying calm during an argument would be poised

And making decisions based on facts Would be the rationality Kind of sounds like I nailed it So sounds like you nailed it I'll give it to you I was researching while you said it So I wasn't really paying that much attention But I'm sure you're smart enough

It's pretty much exactly what I said That's why I'm wearing a tie That's printed out of my shirt today That's why you're dissecting like a true Disse I sign in with I haven't two people ever heard Get it this way

I mean technically Your marriage is saved The fuck is he he talking about? This party is chaos, by the way. Yeah. Everybody's got faces painted white. There's like a mime on stilts. Girl has like a pink mop on her head. Look at this guy. This guy looking at the fantastic goatee. I even know how to describe what this guy's got going on, man. I feel like half these people would be like a bartender at one of those like decorative bars that like make, you know, drinks out of a distilled barrel, chop up their fruit and a command and then light it on fire

and then like educate you on it but also like don't want to educate you because they look down you for not knowing some of the deep information that goes into these cocktails that they're being paid good money to serve that's what i get when i look at this guy there's a lot going on of this party what's going on what's going on with the uh back to the lyrics back to the lyrics well in fact well i'll look at this way i mean technically our marriage is saved with us calls for a toast so pour this shan i don't know why it's saved you get saved because in literally the last line it sounded like there was chaos and maybe he wanted to know she was a whole thing he was a whole thing he wanted to know she was a like our last episode.

See what I did there? And now he knows, because the waiter has spoken, and so now he knows, okay, well, she's a horn. Well, now it's saved. Sounds like the marriage is the last thing from saved. It's like the farthest thing from being saved, I can imagine. It's like when you wanted to like save your video game and playing Nintendo. And why does this call for a toast?

And your brother unplugged it instead. That's how far away this is from being saved. It's just like he's telling them. And now it's like asking the waiter to work. Yeah, and get to work and pour the champagne, dude. That's what he should have done in the beginning, dude, instead of fucking gossiping all over the fucking church. In a church?

In a church? Pour the champagne and shut up. Dillhole? I wonder if this is the guy who is out there talking. That's the one talking shit. That's the one talking shit. That's the guy with this stupid fucking mustache. Stupid mustache.

And matching undercarriage mustache. Someone would call it a goatee. I'm going to try to get undercarriage mustache going. Pass. Let's see what else we got going, man. I like this buildup. Oh, yeah. Here we comes.

Let's go. Nicely done. Yeah. Something talking about, DJ, Jag. Fuck was shit more like that. Nix it up. Isolate some shit. I feel like he just repeated himself.

Reverb that out. He's just trying to rationalize the fact that he just found out his woman's a horror and he's like, I'm just trying to be positive about the situation. And hey, waiter, serve the fucking champagne already. dude. That's what we brought you here for. Get to work. That your dishy gossip.

That part right there is great for karaoke, by the way. Everybody, I add a little reverb to any way. This feels like a song. This feels like a Justin. Yeah, I do pretty good on this. This feels like a song you would carry up for sure. I tried it. How rich your people ever heard of?

I'm on the wrong key there, but you get the idea. You mean your vocal keys? Yeah, I was wrong. I was wrong key. Yeah, I was in the A minor, and this is done in the... in a C major, so it was a little bit off. That makes sense. I feel like Panic of the Disco is like bringing this shit out of you.

You used the word of rationale earlier. Like, that's not usually in your vocabulary. It really does bring out your... Maybe these people... They really do bring out emotion. They make you smarter a little bit, you know? In a stupid kind of way. And the TV is really making me focus on this or...

Why has everybody got face pain on? What's going on here? I don't know. Like, literally everybody in the church. The bride's in the back I'm still trying to figure out Who the groom is this guy the groom? No, that's just another face-painted guy that's sitting

Yeah, what's this guy's deal? That's not the guy that's been singing or is it? No, he's not. All right. Oh, the bride is running away. That guy's the singer. Is that not the same guy? I don't...

It might be. Sometimes all these types is going to look the same to me. No, that's a different guy. Bride's like, what's she doing there? Wait, is she running away or is she coming? Yeah, she ran. I would.

would say in this group of people gathered in this room, there's at least a 28% chance that whatever wedding you're all gathered for, the bride is going to end up running off dramatically. I can see that. And maybe it's because she's a whore. She might have had her days. As the waiter is calling out to everybody that will listen, without even closing the goddamn door. Yeah. You better approach it with some poise and rationalities.

All I got to say. So while the actual. song lyrics, I don't think, gave us a whole lot more story. The video sure did. Yeah, the video gave us a lot there, right? Uh, yeah, so bride runs away. Groom's like, oh my God, my bride, I must run after her. And she's just full on making out with a mime. Face, face pain getting all over and she just looks back and she's like stoked about it. So what I do? So the waiter, what I did? So the waiter was on point from the beginning. He knew the whole time. He was trying to help. And he was right. It is a shame, you know. But he still should be pouring the champagne because

that's what I paid him to do. Agreed. This also goes back to our I don't want to know episode. Would you want to know that your bride is a whore from the waiter who's supposed to be pouring champagne, or by walking outside and finding out, making out with the stage mime who is either a guest or hired for I'd rather know my kitchen. But with the mime and the waiter needs to be torn champagne. After why I paid him. I think I'd like to get all this out into the bin before this whole artistic, glamorous wedding, that everybody seems completely unbothered by the activity that takes place, because the next scene is then they're all just in the yard, parting and dancing. There's like a man-breathing fire.

There's a clown on stilts. There's like a hula hoop dancer. I got a question. Would you want to go to this wedding? Ah. I'm down for any wedding. If I'm not DJing and I'm invited and there's like, it's open bar, let's go I'm in man let's see what they got man

you want me to dress up everybody's just like I'd wear that hat I mean this guy this guy loves his hat and staff in this video the singer he keeps doing like these and he's like yeah he likes doing that and I gotta be honest if I was dressed like that like say for a costume maybe for Halloween I would fucking be doing that I would be doing the little hat brim a lot

I would be fucking with the staff I did Dick Tracy I'd be pointing with it oh I love the Dick Tracy costume you did a lot of the hat All the time favorite. Yeah, yeah. So I get it. I'd be doing the same thing. Okay, so if I was told you come to this wedding,

and it would be the kind of thing where like, okay, the theme is you either have to wear white face paint and clown makeup, wear a top half with the staff and like a suit reminiscent of the red coats from like the 1700s. Or you just have to wear a pink mop on your head, you know. I think from this part we know that the singer is not the groom. You would, yeah, yeah, it's not there right there. Yeah. As the groom, he was pulling him.

It was discovered early. He's pulling him so he, look, he's pulling him so he can catch her. Yeah, and there it is. Boom. Oh, there it is. So he's the one. So she walks out. He's like, what's going on?

No, you need to see this, homie. And then they walk out and then, boom. And he was still at the altar. So this is literally right after. Right outside. This is right after she ran out. And then watch her reaction when she. Wait a minute.

She reacted. And then, yeah, yeah. She looks up and she's like, yeah. And then she's like, yeah. And then she goes right. They were making out gross. Look at that. And then we'll head to see.

And then she's like, yeah, sorry. I'm a horror. And you hear everybody talking about it? Like, you should know that. Get out of here. Hey, what is the next thing? Why don't you let it move it forward for a second? Let's see.

And then they're all like, they put their hat down and now everybody's just going to start partying. Look. Hey. Let's dance. There's a guy in a unicycle. There's a fire, a man breathing fire. Wow.

People. By the way, people, you got to be watching. Watching the video for this one because we are literally just talking about what's behind me and if you're just listening You're not gonna make any sense to you or visualize what the hell this video is which is really the only way to get any story out of it because otherwise it's just a guy overhearing a loud obtrusive Conversation and a church and that doesn't give you and then his objection with that Yeah and how he's like you know fucking Pour the champagne I'm still annoyed that he was budding into a random conversation however if he was paying for the wedding then

It's okay for him to do that because the waiters should to be talking anyway. Pour the champagne. He paying for the wedding. He has the right to do that. Also, I never got to finish by a statement when I said if there was a person that invited me to this type of wedding, there's like a 30% chance I would have already been like, that sounds about right.

Just knowing that person, this seems like what they'd be. Feels like what I would imagine their wedding to be. And there's a 15% chance that the bride's going to end up making out with a clown out back after she runs off. And I was right. Didn't even try to hide it. Didn't even like go to a closet. it and she's like sorry i'm a horror that's how we started this song she's like remember that

she's like sorry sorry this is the kind of thing when i want to wonder okay so a group named panic at the disco whose title of the song is i write sins not tragedies yeah she was getting all up in there how much of their actual art let's call it their lyrics their songmaking is is literally just let's just come up with some crazy storytelling off the top of our head or is there something like deep is this like a are they trying to call somebody else out that they know are they like is there a deep meaning behind all this? I told you it's from a book that it's from a lyric I already told you it was what I already figured out that part yeah I told you at the beginning that this was about a down here

this was a about lyrics are about infidelity the sins that I felt were being committed by my friends, by his friends. So yeah, it's a little deeper, but it's also inspired by a passage from Douglas Copeland's 1992 novel Shampoo Planet. Of course, Shampoo Planet. Well, we all remember that era. That chapter of U.S. history.

That was a wild. Oh, yes, Shampoo Planet. Shampoo Planet was a fucking... It's like what you said earlier. What did you use to wash your hair? And what would you be looking at right after? And what was... What were you dreaming of?

about last night. Planet shampoo. Perfect. What's the first word of the last channel you watched? I was watching Planet Earth. Perfect. The last thing you put in your hair. Okay.

First thing when you walk in your bathroom, what do you see? Shampoo. Sounds like a jaunty read. Panic at the disco. All of this, all of this is just word mad libs, I feel like. But I also promise you, I promise you that there's somebody listening, screaming at speaker right now like you guys don't even understand the poetry that's i'd say these guys these guys just don't get real art yeah and if if you feel that way then you're right got a lot of that from the

people who uh took issue with with me saying that trying to dive into game of thrones or uh stranger things seven seasons in is uh it's just i said somebody wrote a cabbo it's like i'm sorry they didn't make these shows with crans and i was like i think i know that what you're going for there, but a little off-face. Like, I don't think. Look, the insult you were hurling, I felt what you're trying to land on me. But, like, I have maybe workshop how you put it together a little bit next time. There's going to be a lot of panic heads out there, just like there's a lot of GOT heads out

there that will hear no slander. And I'm not even like giving slander here. I'm just like reading the pages as they present to me, just like panic did when they read shampoo planet, you know? With that said, I have a... Art is interpreted how... I have a buddy of mine. Let me see where he's at.

Let me see where I'm going to get him up here real quick because he deserves a shout-up. You're going to call somebody or not? I'm going to give him a shout-up. Mr. Captain Josh Pardun. He's also known as DJ Osh, and he's part of the email kids. A band, cover band, live cover band. Apparently his show's epic and I can't wait to see him. I knew him before he got into cover band.

He plays violin and he DJs and he dresses up like a madman. And so shout out to the big red machine. Madman. Captain Josh, Pardon, your beast. I don't know if you listen to me, but I'm giving you a shout out, Osh,

because I see you killing it and going across the country with your cover band, the emo kids. So does he dress up like one of the people of his wedding, would you say? Would he fit in there?

Yeah, he'd fit in for there for sure. And he'd probably enjoy that shit, for sure. He's a beast. We won a championship together in flag football as well. Ah, there it is. That's why Jagg loves him.

Yeah, yeah. If you can catch it like a, a 10, yard out from Justin like he's gonna love you you're my daughter and if you can't we won't be friends I've literally not been friends with people that don't catch and I'm like leave my life it's a dishbreaker for Justin's friendship got to be able to catch that I've had people be like like tell me sad story and I get in a group text for a football like oh yeah I have I lost my cat and I'm like just make sure you catch the ball on Sunday this affects your ability to yeah don't come to run a curl

route and make a tight catch and run five yards then uh congratulations I would rather you not show up today. Catch the ball. Maybe take the week off then. Yeah. Catch the ball. Anyways, slaps and snaps on the panic at the disco, the writing of sins, tragedies and stuff. I write sins, not tragedies.

That's it. Want me to go? Yeah. What do you got? Three and one. The story's a little stupid, but I like the song. The song is epic. It's a great karaoke song and a really catchy.

You're like, I chimed it. So it's got good energy. It's fun. you know, takes me back to those late, it's not late 90s, this is early 2000s. Mid-2000s. Mid-2000 jams. It reminds me of college and fraternity and a lot of times hearing this in the room next to me because my room was real hip-hop and stuff like that.

And then right next to me was this. A lot of this, as I recall, yeah. There was a lot of this played in that house. Because of that, I was annoyed then, but I grew on me. And so therefore I started to like it. Literally exactly what I was about to say. Like, I remember when. I first started hearing this song, I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of annoyed with this song.

I'm starting to hear it. It's getting played a lot around me. And then as you heard it more, and the people around you were like really getting into it, like, you start being like, some of these parts where like really he gets into it and he's like, with a sense of hope and rationality. I can't. I chimed it. Yeah, you get to. You get to. Yeah. All right. Give me your slaps and snaps. I would get into it every now.

With that answer, give me those. Two in a snap. And an artistic, like theatrical snap. It was an art. Do you got to see the visual for that? It was an artistic. I imagine pushing like a powdery flower into the air. Because powdery flower into the air is what I'm turning my new band name into.

Or that's going to be my next single. By the way, I write sins not tragedies. Are you trying to say that sins is not a tragedy? I feel like kind of the same thing a little bit. What's the sin? Honestly, this makes me... The sin in this song feels like a tragedy, especially if it's happening at a wedding,

you can call it whatever you want. Yeah. Either way... This song, the title makes me immediately realize that I'm not poetic whatsoever because I'm like, what the... Are they talking about? We forgot another group.

Fallout Boys, another one that was... Yeah. Back in that time. They're in that same... Yeah. Dance dance. Dams! They have a bunch of weird names

to their songs, too. Probably. You know, they do. I don't remember. The song was called Dance Dance, That one was easy. But like, so I got it. Anyways.

All right. So we did those. Anything else we needed to go over with this? And just do your job, waiter. Do your job, man. Yeah. Oh, thanks for the memories. And then there's a, hold me like a grudge.

That fits the category of what you were just stalling the end of the show for. Yeah. The episode. Anyways. Hold me like a grudge works. And I would ask that the waiter, Do your job. Yeah, don't hold me like a grudge.

And if you're going to panic somewhere, have it not be at the church. Do it to the disco. Next!