Dissect DJs - Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Piña Colada Song)

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

We go full blown 80's with it and dissect the real story behind the happy go lucky Rupert Holmes melody "Escape", better known to everyone in the world as The Piña Colada song. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dda, D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Rupert tell us! Hold up. Before we get into this letter, we've got to introduce ourselves. What's going on, Steve? Pass. This song sucks. Can we do that beginning, dude? Can you not do that with this one?

You're going to like the song, so don't get it on it. All right, all right. I'm going to give it a track. This is a song that I've heard my whole life, and I don't think I've ever actually listened to. So this is what the dissect DJs are here Because we are the dissect DJs

And this is what we do We break down all different kinds of music And sometimes we gotta play some shit That sucks too And sometimes you gotta bring the fucking energy for me Because I introduce you so What's going on everybody It's the dittus

Dittus Dittus Dittus Diz Diz Zs And we're here to show you The motherfucking Pita Collada song Now have you guys Dissect this song Have you ever gone to the words And realized

What is he talking about? I bet you haven't That's why we're here. I bet you haven't. And your bullshit-ass internet keeps fucking throwing me into the bullshit-ass. Don't believe me the internet. Maybe it's your computer. No, it's your fucking bullshit internet that keeps throwing me into the bullshit.

All right, here we go, we got, got it. All right, if you guys have ever heard this song for the entirety, you know, this song is actually way deeper than just a fucking peanut colada drink. But before we get into the story, Castle, do you like a pinocalada? Yeah. Delicious, aren't there? It's a good beverage that is a brinketola drink. Blended. I'm talking to

Blended and you're in Jamaica and you're on an all-inclusive resorts and you have a choice between peanut calada sex on the beach and Rumpelman's shot. Yeah, I'm going

collada on that one. Allow me to take the opportunity to speak on delicious alcoholic beverages because this has been a play I've been fighting for way too long. There's some kind of innate nature that exists in a lot of guys that suggest.

Men, for some reason, feel like that. But go ahead, give it to me. I already know where you're going on with this. And I have to agree with you. We both on the same page with this. So go ahead. If a beverage is delicious with alcohol in it, they have to be like, oh, it's gay.

No, that drinks that makes you gay. And my response immediately is always like, I think being gay more has to do with the orientation of what you want to do with your sexual preference. Not so much what you want to do with your beverage preference, you know? And it turns out I like my beverages. It tastes good. Yeah.

That's a preference of mine. Any guy that's ever referred to anything as being gay, any guy that ever do that has an extreme lack of personality. Like, he just goes into it and doesn't know how to think about himself. It's like, I'm glad, you're a little bitch, dude. Anybody that does that and says anything is referred to as gay, you're a little bitch. I mean, yeah, I'll do a whiskey on the rocks when I want to do that.

But also, a blended pina-ass calada sounds dope as fuck sometimes. If I'm chilling on a bar, oceanfront property, and they got a nice little blender situation, and they're going to serve it to me in a nice, one of them big ass, like, little goblet cups, you know what I mean? They're going to get a little pineapple, the garnish, follow by a little kiwis. There might be some sugar in the room of shit. What's up? Like, yeah, they're treating me with that.

That's a dessert in a beverage form that's also going to get me a nice little buzz. I'm going to drink that. I like that. You know what? Guess what? My sexual orientation stays exactly intact. It doesn't move a needle. It shouldn't be questioned over a motherfucking Pinnacolada.

I tell you that right now. I like myself a Pinnacolada. Yeah, it's a good drink. It's not my go-to at any point in time, but if I'm at the beach in a tropical environment and you throw me a Pena-Colada blended or not, I'm going to go ahead and take that and say, I thank you. Yeah, it's actually a drink that I never once thought

to go out of my way to order. but if it's like a thing that they have like it's a special special do you guys and they're like oh yeah yeah like the pinnacolada machine right there the slushy it's like five bucks and i'm like it's right in front of my face i'm like serve it up okay now with that this song actually has nothing to do with a pinocalea other than asking uh ask it really all the whole song as you'll find out is simply somebody asking if someone likes a pinicolada beyond that the pinnacelada has nothing to do with the song we have since passed the first uh words of this song Well, explain them.

What do they say? I'm going to first throw out the drumbeat out the gate, which goes, wait, wait, wait, wait. Castle, can you replay that first real quick? Isn't that a great answer to a fucking song? It's pretty good. Anyway, now. We haven't actually called out the singer of the song yet.

Rupert Holmes. Oh, the Holmes is in the building. Did anybody know that the song was done by somebody named Rupert Holmes? Yeah. Okay, well, most people didn't. And that's why I want to make sure I get it. it in there because there's been times where we go through a whole song and I realize we never actually give a proper intro as to the artist.

I feel like most people know. I didn't know that. This is literally the first time I've ever heard of Rupert Holmes. So if I didn't, there's probably a lot of people. And you're right. Rupertoms Pinyakalada. And then he's already gotten through the first verse, which was, I was tired of my lady. We've been together too long like a one hour recording of our favorite song.

It's like this song. He's tired of this relationship. ship. He's done. The way we're tired of this song. Most people are tired of it in society. I'm not. I love this shit, but you are apparently, so you're ready for this relationship. So his girlfriend is the Pina Ghalada of girlfriends. No, no, no. That's not that you know,

you're going Pena Colada in the wrong, you're putting in the wrong concept. To me. To me. Very simply, this fool's tired of his girl. They've been together a long time. Yeah. Exactly. So how is his girlfriend related to Pena Colada? Because this song is tired. It's delicious. I'm talking about the song. I'm talking about the song

Pinacolada. It's tired. I've heard it too many times. Oh, okay. When it comes on the jukebox, I want to hit skip. That's what his girlfriend is right now. Pass. Next.

No, we'll get to the next verse. So while she said, lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed. Now, this would be like a phone at this point with like an app on probably like, you know, Reddit or some shit. But we'll just go ahead and go with it. I read the paper in bit. I mean, it sounds better when you say paper than like I started my phone and like scrolled through Huffington Post. I got to my phone and watched it read it. I don't know.

You can make it work. And in the personal columns, there was this letter that read. Now, so far, this fool's, let's just go through the scenario. He's tired of his girl. She's laying there next to him. He's like, this fellow sucks. He's in the paper, and he reads something.

He's like, holy shit, what is this? That's essentially where we're at. Any questions with that? No, I'm fine. Then let's find out why this motherfucker wants a Pina Coladas in his life. Oh, my God. Man, the story is getting deep already. You get the story so far, or you want me to explain to you?

I like that guitar solo real quick. Guitar solo with the wave in the back? It sounded like the wave. It kind of brought home the vibe that I was imagining where I would hear this song. It brought in the visual. So far, you would say the sounds are fitting the song. So far, that little guitar solo is my favorite part. That brought it home.

That was a nice little touch, yeah. But before that happened, this man goes into the question of, what he read in the paper. This is what he read. And he's putting it in... So is he looking at like the... What is that thing that he should have in the newspapers? The personal columns.

Like, yeah. Personal columns. Literally said that in the previous lines. Is this really a thing that people actually did? Like, they would put... Back in the day, yeah. They would, like, be like, I'm looking to date somebody

and I'll put myself out there via newspaper and be like... Yes. There wasn't social media. There wasn't other ways of putting your name out there. There was no swipe apps. There was nothing. So, yes, this was the way you put you so about it. Man, I'm glad we live in this.

Yeah, this is a whole different world. That shit would be... A whole new world. Everybody real quick, just imagine if like... A dazzling place with Bumble and Tinder. Shut up with your bullshit. I have a good point to make. I did too.

I got a great song. I changed fucking aerials. Anyway, go ahead. You literally just threw Bumble into a hell new world. Yeah, it's okay. It was good, though. Okay, so take your dating profile and whatever it is. You need to not...

Sorry. Okay, Tinder, Bumble, hinge, whatever it is your dating app of choice. maybe you choose all three or all seven whatever i don't know there's probably a shit ton out there these days but imagine your dating profile being a part of like the la times and it was like there so like anybody that you know or have known or person that could know you could be like hey isn't this your friend craig the guy who says that he has several cats and uh he enjoys long walks in the beach and also he is Why are you standing up?

A whole new world. A dazzling place to swipe left and right. You know you want to get in this social media and swipe for that next level of your life. A whole new world. You're good? Yeah.

All right. I'm glad you got that out of your system. My point is, the idea of a dating profile being just like a part of the newspaper that literally anybody could access game change the most and boring embarrassing thing i can imagine yeah different day and age i'm really glad that uh i well i mean it's not like if i was growing up in that era i don't think i ever would have gone that deep and gone newspaper with it but like that was all they had like if you were like a desperate like let's just throw myself out there and i actually wonder i imagine maybe that

did do they do you think they put their uh phone numbers in there and everything or that's all they had it was a phone number right now there was no emails yeah I know how are people supposed to react to let's bring in Uncle Carl can you give us some information hey how you doing um yeah so what used to happen was uh you would leave your number you're doing characters now I'm trying it might not very good

give me a second I'm doing like a D character and leave your number on in the person this is going nowhere again I'm going to cut this off immediately can we just get into the next verse. No, I'm trying to explain the verse. Okay, so he's reading the column. Okay? And it says, if you

like peanut collars, he's reading that. And he just makes it sound good. If you like peanut collars. So this is him reading and a girl which is an easy start because like, as we discussed, that's a delicious drink. Most people are going to like that. Unless you're an asshole. You're an asshole. You don't like peanut collars. Just know that.

And getting caught in the rain. Okay, well, that's the opposite of what everybody likes. Yeah, a little deep there. Going a little thing like like that. Nobody, literally nobody likes getting caught in the rain. There's people that like that. He opens it up with Pinnacolado, which is like, he doesn't, whoever wrote it does. Yes, yes, exactly. I'm imagining he is the guy who's writing it, right?

No, but he didn't write it. He's reading it. It's a person on it, so it's a female writing it. Okay, then it's a female. My point is, I'm coming from the mindset of the person who wrote it. So they're looking to make a dating out, right? And they're like, if you like Pina coladas, and it's like, okay, that's a good way to bring everybody in because everybody likes Penaucaladas.

and then you go right to and getting caught in the rain. Pinoquiladas, you're bringing in probably 85% of the people that are reading. Like, oh, yeah, okay, I'm with you so far. You're losing. You fight with the next. At least. Yeah, yeah. But you bring them right back in with the next one.

If you're not into yoga. I don't know, man. I live in the South Bay. A lot of people are fucking... Yeah, and I live in the Inland Empire. Nobody does yoga. I mean... And it's clear, sir.

I never got a yoga class. So, like, that wouldn't lose me. But like, next line. Right now, honestly, I'd stay with it. If you have half a brain. I'm out. I'm done. Why?

Why are you having half a brain? I'm saying, like, I was with them. You're smarter than half a brain? You're smarter than half a brain. You're more than half a brain. I hear that as an insult. If you have half a brain, like... You're just saying, as long as you're not stupid.

I hear that as if you are stupid. If you have half a brain, that makes me hear... Oh, you're at different. You're saying you only have half a brain. I'm thinking that. I'm looking at it as you only have stupid. have at least half a brain. All right.

Well, poorly worded. So this is a bad dating ad. I'm with you. All right. And the next one. If you like making love it midnight, now like, come on. That's a good time. But although it's right in the middle of party time, if you're in your party leaders and

you're trying to go out, midnight's a bad time to do that, right? Like Saturday, midnight, bone sets where you're supposed to be going out to the club and dancing. You're probably not going out at that point. Am I right? I mean, I imagine it would be coming back time if you were going to the club at that point. But like, the point is... What if you haven't left yet?

If you haven't left yet, and you're not getting out. You're not getting out, right? Midnight, you're kind of stuck. You're going to have the whole half hour, 45-minute session, then you've got to relax for a second, got to talk to each other. I don't know what to happen, whatever happens after that.

To me, making love at midnight, putting that in your dating ad in the newspaper, kind of creepy. Like, I understand what you're going for there, but, like, how about a little bit about who you are and, like, what you bring to the table and not just like, well, like, let's change the voice for a way. Well, she does add the next line,

If you'd like to make love at midnight, then... No, but she does have the next line of in the dune. Oh, yeah, that's right. This is a girl. In the dunes on the cape. Doesn't bring it home at all to me. She likes to have in a bunch of sand at the end of the beach, which is... It's a little uncomfortable.

A little uncomfortable. Romantic setting, I get it. At midnight and the dunes. The level of uncomfortableness is significantly higher than a matter of... I like the idea that it's an adventure. that you're going to at midnight, you know? It's not just like, oh, so you're down at midnight? It's just like, yeah, let's go to the dunes at midnight.

Yeah, but at the kid, it sounds like a walk at a fucking half. I don't want to walk out. It's an adventure. I'm fucking over. How far is it? Who cares? Is it more than a mile? If it's more than a mile, I'm over it.

If a girl tells me, like, wait, let's go, we're going on adventure. I'm going to. I have to ask how far? This takes me. What is the distance? Could I Google this real quick and see how far the walk would be? No. No, we've already taken away too much.

We obviously don't talk about the same. All right, next line. Then I'm in love. I'm the love that you looked for. Right to me and escape. Which, by the way, the name of this song is called Escape. It's not called Pinacolada? No, it's called the Pinacolada song.

Does anybody know this? In parentheses after Escape. So if you didn't know that. Well, that was a poor choice of name. Well, they knew that, and that's why they put in parentheses right after. Like, it's the Pinacolada song. And everybody's like, oh. But it's called Escape.

So, yeah. That's where we are. this letter he's reading. That felt like a whole thing. That felt like I just took an adventure walk to the dunes. And there is no partner waiting for me at midnight. So, yeah. Now I'm just like tired and my legs are so hard.

I told you don't fucking walk so far. That's what going through these lyrics feels like to me. And the dudes is for more than a mile. I'm going to be tired. Just play that damn second verse. I know that sounds kind of me But me and my old lady I've fallen into the same old don't routine

So I wrote to the paper Took out a personal ad And though I'm nobody's poet I thought it wasn't half bad Oh, these two This man is shady as hell First of all, first line out the gate I didn't think about my lady.

You should have. You've been with her fucking half your life, sir. Also, this is a newspaper clipping that you found. Yeah, but he's with his wife and he's reading a newspaper. I know. And obviously he did think about his lady because he's bringing her up. The first reaction after he reads it is... I ain't thinking about it.

I ain't thinking about it. I ain't worried about it. I ain't doing nothing. If you weren't thinking about your lady, then we wouldn't even know she existed in this song. You wouldn't have brought her up. But here we are. first line. And then he says, but he says right after, I know that sounds kind of mean.

Shut up. Yeah, you're a little bitch. You just call that. Yeah, you does sound mean. Is that mean? Is it mean? Is it mean that I'm not thinking of my wife? Is it kind of mean? I'm so bad. Yeah. He's a little bitch. This guy's a little bit. Rupert. First of all, your name is Rupert and it sounds like, uh, he sounds like a Rupert now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, he sounds like a Rupert. But me and my old lady. The fact that he refers to her as my old lady. Had fallen into some old, that dull routine. See, I didn't even read that next line before I started talking. You're right? Yeah, he's just so... He keeps mentioning old. In both of those lines, it says,

old lady, old dull routine. Look, I'll be honest with you, sir, it's up to you kind of half of you to spice it up. Now, in one of the lines beforehand, I did my best to spice up the relationship. I took her to top golf and paid for everything. Like, if you had something like that, I'd have been like, okay, he's trying his best.

He's a tough call. He paid for everything, though. He didn't mention the eye. You're skipping the second part that I mentioned in that. So, you know, he's doing things. He didn't mention that, right? So he's just, he's not doing anything to help the situation with his old lady and his old dull routine.

So he's just going ahead and writing in a fucking paper, which we find in the next line. So I wrote to the paper. I even paid for the driving range. Yeah, exactly, you get it. So he wrote to the paper, took out a personal ass. So now he's going to the shaginess. I'm not trying to fix whatever relationship he has with his woman.

And fixing the old routine and taking her top golf, as I said. But he's writing in the personal paper. And then he's nobody's poet. He knows he sucks in writing. But he thought what he wrote after this wasn't that bad. So the next line we're going to hear is him saying what he wrote in the paper himself. And he's like, hey, I got the. 50 ball special.

Okay, that cost $25. All right, I could have gone for the $20. $25 bucks. I could have gone $40 for $20, all right, but I wouldn't be extra. Which I got to say, all you golfers are in trouble because I hit the golfing range recently, and I hit golf, and I got $170 points. I hit 170 yards straight down the middle for 12 straight hits. Oh, I found my new profession.

You motherfucker, Tiger, I'm coming! Anyways, side note with all that bullshit. All right. He says, I hit the golf. Yeah. I hit the golf so hard. Hit the golfs there. So here goes the letter that he wrote into the paper,

responding to the letter that he read. While he's married, he's married. Well, he doesn't say he's married. Yeah, but the point is. He has an old lady. A long relationship with the lady. And he actually went ahead. He could have reached out to that girl that he couldn't he just gone that way?

Instead, his reaction is to be like, I'm going to write an ad. I'm going to put in the newspaper. Which, by the way, everybody could see. So her friends and her friends. family, they could easily see this fucking ass. They could see that, true, but they didn't say how... Isn't him in your dumb-ass boyfriend, Rupert,

that put this ad about how he goes to golf and stuff? Yeah, is this Rupi? Did Rupi write this? Who talks about how he likes Pinyacolada? Is this? He loves Piaolada. I know he's a big-ass boyfriend. Yeah. All right, let's hear what he said.

Hey, Rupert. Hey, Rupy. Yeah, you know, fucking poet, dude. This is a terrible, fucking follow-up. It's really bad. Half bad by ass, dude. All you did was...

This was such a nomad. Yeah, you're such a nobody. Dude, you've been married since you were 18, had no game or play, and all you did was follow up with like, yes, I like Peter Carr's. Yes, I like the thing that that girl said the first night. And I do like getting caught in the rain. However, I don't like doing yoga, but I'm going to refer to yoga

as health food because those two are intertwined, and I'm into champagne, which she says nothing about champagne. Am I? He just throwing that in her. Like, let me... Well, she's talking about a half of brain. He's saying he loves champagne, which... It rhymes.

Okay. That's what you did there. And then he's talking about, I got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through the red tape. Why didn't you just respond to her ad instead of putting your shoes? I don't know. Maybe that's how the ad works back then. Yeah, you had to do it this way in order.

And then she had to borrow Colomallis will we plan our escape. And again, the word escape, because the name of the song is escape. And this is... Don't forget that. But your fucking writing sucks. and cut through this red tape. He's trying to get some random girl that wrote in a newspaper while his girl is sleeping next to him

to fucking come to him and join him so they can escape. Hey, Rupert! Rupit! Fuck you, Rupi! Fuck you, Rupert! The fact that he calls out red tape, getting through red tape in his little dating ad, knowing that he's got a girlfriend or wife or whatever.

Okay, let's just play... Okay, Rupert's girlfriend, his old lady, Barbara, right? Imagine your Barbara's sister. Reading the paper. Georgia. You're Georgia. Barbara and Georgia? Yeah.

I don't know. It feels like some 80s sister's names maybe. George is reading this, and she's like, hey, isn't this Barbara's guy, Rupert? He put his fucking name on it. But doesn't say he put his name out of it. They're doing real conspicuous, inconspicuous. Possibly. But they put together the math.

And then on top of that, it's like, and cut through this red tape. And then he calls out the bar name. So, hey, pretty easy to track this down. Like, this sounds like Rupert. Don't we always go to O'Malley's on Fridays? Let me check out O'Malley's real quick, which also, by the way, does not sound like a fancy spot at all. No, he interrupt to go to a bar called O'Malley's. A divedy dive, motherfucker.

That's not super, like, that's an Irish bar. That's one of those places. It has no windows. It has, like, a pool table. and there's always constant smoke in the air. There's four le clover randomly in paper cutouts throughout the entire place. They have some clover decorations going around the edges that were put up there in 1972 and they just never took it down.

And randomly the fourth song on there is always the dropkick Murphy's singing, let me know the Boston fucking song. Maybe that was rude to me as going on. Whatever, you know what I'm talking about. That's what exactly with the sounds is. O'Malley's to meet up with somebody that you are trying to meet up to escape with in life, Rupert, you piece of shit! Let's just say...

Dude, I mean, this song should have been just called. I know what did you call it. It's escape. It should have been called Rupert, you piece of shit. That would have been up. Everybody would be like, he is a piece of shit. Yeah. No, I mean, for the vibe of the song,

and we talked about it. Like, I'm imagining, like, there being waves, and, like, I'm having an ocean front bar. Umelies is not that spot. Umelies is a soft. smoky dive that has no windows that has like locals that are staring at you the whole time you're there you know this fool's trying to have a fucking excursion starting at omalis that's where it's beginning where's number two go and we're gonna go down the fucking only up from here sharkies

sounds like next like umallies is always next to sharkies in my opinion somehow dude like i think it's called maloys over here yeah maloys you know you guys get the point we love Aloys, though. I do. I do. I love Patrick. We love Patrick. All right, so let's get into the next.

Did we get into the next? No, he's playing our escape. Now he's in his final line here. This is the final line. This is your shit gets intense. Okay. Now, again, a lot of you've heard this song and always go, I like Pete of the other.

Because you know that part, but you never pay attention to this song. Listen to how deep this fucking song goes from this point on. So I waited with high hopes. And she walked in the place. I knew a smile in an instant Her above her face It was my own lovely lady And she said

Oh, it's you Then we laughed for a moment And I said, I never know Did you hear that what just happened right now? No I zoned out So the original writer Of the note that he wrote

Was the woman that was sleeping next to him So it was his own girl So what happens is So he waited with high hopes And she walked in the place He knew her smile in an instant He knew the curve of her face It was his own lady

And she said Oh it's you And they laughed for a moment And he said I never knew I never knew what All right That's what you didn't know

Fuck all this Oh I know that the idea It's supposed to be this moment That they realized Like they had all these shit in common But fuck that Fuck that

Fuck that. They both just realized immediately that they were trying to fucking sneak out on themselves to go do some bullshit at a sketchy-ass dive bar because somebody likes Pinoquiladas and getting caught in the rain. And all they needed was half a brain. Like, what an insult. If my girl answered a fucking dating ad that said like, all you need is half a brain. And she was like, I'm in. Better than what I've been dealing with. Like, the second that they saw each other, they've been like, what the fuck? Are you serious? This is what's up? This is what you've been doing. I know that they're trying to play it off.

Like it's this laugh off, but it's like, ha ha, what looks like we were on the same page the whole time. No, fuck that. Fuck you, Rupert.

Fuck you, Barbara. And fuck you, George. Actually, Georgia, you're cool. You're the only one that saw this shit from the whole time.

She knew it was a bad deal from the get-go. Fuck, Pinia cladas. I told you, dude. I told us this fucking story. So let's just recap real quick. He's laying in bed.

He looks at a story in the paper. He, says something about Pinacolados, he's like, oh, you know what? I'm going to write a paper about that and try to find this girl. He then writes in the paper and goes about Pinacolados and loving champagne and making love at O'Malley's. He says he's going to meet somebody at O'Malley's. When he gets to O'Malley's, he's waiting there and he realizes his own woman that was laying next to him in that bed when he was reading the paper was the one that actually wrote the note that he read when he read the paper. You fucking couple is toxic as hell. And you guys need

to end your relationship fucking yesterday. Fucking, fucking week ago, weeks ago. If there was ever a look in the mirror moment and be like,

oh, so this is fucked up and we... Rupert. Barbara. This is a bad deal. Get the fuck out of here. You fucking both of you are in the worst relationship

possible. You will both be happier if you move the fuck along. You were literally ready to fuck off with some random that dude from a newspaper just because they're like

Pinia colladas. And him with her. And you guys, how did neither one of you know that both of you like Pinacolados after all these days? That never came up? It's both of your favorite drinks,

but you never decided to order? What were you afraid? Like, I'm going to get judged. I understand where he's come from a little bit because of the shit we were talking about before, but like she never ordered a Pinacolada? Like, that should have been first date bullshit. All right.

Yeah, you guys have a loveless, talkless, emotionless relationship, and y'all need to fuck off immediately. Second part of that last part. Here we go. Real quick, because this song's going to write out for two more full times. A Pena collatelais. And that's why everybody knows it as, if you like peanut, because they say it so many times.

But, Cassel, do you have a new perspective of the Pinacolada song and what actually happened in the story of this song? This is fucking stupidest story I've ever heard. Y'all didn't realize any of this. How loveless and emotionless is their relationship? If all of the stuff that interests to you that you were willing to put into a dating app, you never decided to maybe bring a dating ad, whatever. all of the stuff they're putting like you know what I need because I'm got to get away from this person that's not like me that doesn't fit my vibe

I want somebody that likes Pena Coladas and wants to escape and get on the dunes even though we're supposed to go to the club at midnight and like we could have made love all day we could have made love at fucking 6 p.m. 3 p.m. We know time. We know times. You don't need to keep calling out times. I'm just saying we could have made love at any time. I'm just saying they both like the idea of making love

on the dune. Shut up. they liked the idea of making love on dunes at midnight with pinia colladas and they like the escape and all that good shit and yet they never apparently told the person they were with that they love that shit because they would have realized they're both into it so what an emotion is like did you guys ever have a fucking conversation when you were in a goddamn relationship did that ever happen and this ladies and gentlemen is why the

dasha DJs going to salsa mixture you understand what is actually happening. Let's be honest, this couple needs to fucking end it yesterday. But let's find out more about these peanut lies and let the song ride out. If you like D-Hupert. This guy sucks.

There's a reason we've never even heard of him again. There's a reason that your name's Rupert. Rupert's are always... Yeah, man, ever since I've heard this story, I heard it in one of the... Rupert's... I get the name in the movie then. Let me find out how they were doing this.

But there was a movie that this was big on. Dirty Work. Dirty Work? Dirty Work? Well, the reason I know this song is because the scene from Dirty Work when Chris Farley's character, there's about to be a fight in the bar. And they're like, oh, man, looks like this is going to be a fight in the bar.

And he's like, hell yeah, bro. I got the perfect song. Rolling Stone Street Fighting. G7! And then he's like, you just hit G8. If you like be in your calada. And then they have a whole fight scene of this song. That's the only reason I really knew the song in the first place.

Okay. So mine was, actually, I have an older sister, right? So I love my older sister, and I followed her anything she did. And the movie, The Sweetest Thing, came out with Cameron Diaz, completely chick flick. And I loved it, Christina Applegate, and they sang this song a couple times in that movie. And that's why I knew it. And then I remember listening to it while they were singing it.

I'm like, wait, what does the song mean? And I knew even then I was like, this song, there's something different about this song. And yeah, always known that this song, Prenicolada song, although sounding happy and joyful, is actually about a fucked up couple with a toxic relationship that needed to end their relationship fucking years ago. Which actually had a bunch of shit in common

if they had just talked to each other. They could have figured that shit out. Communications. Hey, bring up Pinacolada's once. If you want to get fucked on the dunes at midnight, you never decided to maybe bring that up to spice things up. Hey, you got to go bowling the dunes and she would have been like, yeah.

And then you guys were like, that's exactly what I've been wanting. You want a peanut cloud too? Yeah. It was in front of you all the whole time. You didn't need to go through the newspaper ads to figure that shit out. Once again, dissect DJs dissecting the entire story.

You now know why Escape, the name of the song, Escape, also known as the Pinocola's song, is exactly what it is from beginning to end. Let's slap it out. Let me go ahead and give it to it. Three slaps. Three quick slaps. One snap. That's a good song.

It's a classic. It's one of those that for some reason is reached, you know, certain proportions of everybody kind of knows it. They don't want to know it, but they know it. So because of that, you got some staying power. Rupert's a little, you know, lame. His girlfriend or wife, they never explained that way there. She's lame.

The song is kind of less danceable. You know what? You want a rebuttal? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's all you get. God damn it.

Two slaps. Because we go by. Do you know how many times that you fucking rebuttal to do exactly what I was about to do? All right. Fuck it. My ranking is. You want to know what my two slaps are? One, the scene from Dirty Work, when Chris Farley goes,

G, seven, that's worth one slap. That's why I liked this song in the first place, because it reminds me of that scene. Dirty Work with Norm MacDonald underrated movie of the 90s. He used to watch all the time. Go check it out. And two, it gets the second. That's the one where he moons like when he's driving, right?

Yeah, then he gets out of the car. Movie line. Classic, go see that movie. You're supposed to keep driving. He's supposed to keep driving. You just get that. Yeah, yeah, good one. Second slap.

I give a second slap for that little guitar riff with the little ocean sounds in the background. That right there. That right there was worth it for the whole song. Can I just say this about this song, though? Yes. There are certain times when there's songs about like a couple where you get the vibe, like, that's a sexy couple. They probably have crazy sex and I imagine they're super hot. This song, I'm just imagining the two wackest people that like never have sex.

said like think about the wackest couple that you know in life if you're hanging out with them it's just like immediately like a little bit like of a down shift like all right i gotta hang out but it's kind of it's not exactly but i know i'm not gonna have like a fun time with them but it'll be you know i have to like you know it's one of those and that's who that's who that's a rupert and barbara is right here it's just kind of like yeah like the fact that like the crazy thing that they both didn't know about each other that is like super hot is that they both like Pinia coladas, y'all are way. Yeah, and with that...

I would not want to hang out with this. Conclusion of this song that I got to give out to all our listeners, all half a million of y'all that have listened to us, probably less than half a million, but every time, whoever's listened to us, if you are in a toxic relationship, just get the fuck out. I know it's hard. I know the sex tends to be good or whatever.

The sex between Rupert and Barbara was... Rupert and Barber sex suck, too. I don't know what they were doing. But anyway, get the fuck out. Talking relationships is no good. There's no way you guys should be looking at each other's fucking... in the paper and each other meet each other and then just be like oh that's it's okay no this relationship sucks and this is the pinoclet song is very simply a shout out to all fucking toxic couples to get the fuck out

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