Dissect DJs - Taylor Swift - folklore (album)

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

We breakdown all 16 tracks from Taylor Swift's new surprise album 'folklore'. Small spoiler alert: Track 9 is called "This is me trying", something we were very ready to hear by that point... Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dysect Dijs I'm doing good I'm on some new shit Been saying yes instead of no I thought I saw you at the bus stop I didn't though What's going on everybody It's the Dicect DJs

Is DJ Castle With me as always is the one and only DJ JAG DJ MCJJJJG What's up everybody We're going to try something a little new for the first time. Yeah. So the one in all, like, Miss Taylor Swift dropped a surprise album last week that apparently

people, I don't know, I don't really usually follow Taylor Swift circles, but apparently nobody's all coming. So we're like, you know what, let's go ahead and dissect the entire album of Taylor Swift's folklore. And this is track one. We figure it's going to go off. Every song is going to go off. It's Taylor Swift.

She's always top of the charts, top of the album covers. And the war was very into it, but I got to be honest, that first track castles. It's song Blue Balls, right? What was he saying? She said something about, like, she saw him at the bus stop, and Taylor's hook was never had a bus stop. That song kind of sucked off with that. I wasn't feeling it at all.

And I'll be honest, I'm totally cool if that's all we listen. Everybody, do you want to just, you want to just next that one? Let's go to number two. Next. Let's go to its track two. Cardigan. Cardigan, there we go. Call him out.

Oh, my God, it sounds like the exact. Yeah, was that a different song for the first one? I mean, you're the one controlling. That one had more of a horse clop, and the first one had more of a piano. I heard, I felt some horse clop, yeah. I think it was like a piano horse clop hybrid. But you know what, I could already tell it's not getting any better. Like, I got the gist.

I got the gist. Cardigan. The next song, next. The last great American dynasty. All right, that sounds promising. Tell me about the last great American dynasty. Let's skip that one. Exile

Featuring Bon Iver Bonivar I think that's how he pronounced I don't know I'm gonna skip to the middle Is there any song that has like some energy? Yeah yeah let's skip a little bit Next

So you're telling me this isn't the same This song is My Tears Ricochet Wait Ricochet is the name Does she like have a No Let's see Come on Taylor

Wait my tears RICOchet is the name of the whole song? The name of the song is My Tears R-Tier's. Oh, okay. R-I-C-O-C-O-C-E-G-E-G-E. Yeah, yeah, another word, R-C-E-G-E. How far did you skip forward? I'm all the way, two and a half minutes in.

This is two and a half minutes later? Yeah. It's a same thing. It has not picked up. It's not going to pick up anymore. I feel like it's picking up. No way, no way. If this is two and a half minutes in and it's like, no.

Next! All right, what's the song called? What is it? Mirable. I will at least give This one, it feels like it might have energy. No, it doesn't. It doesn't have any energy.

It's the same fucking song as the first four. It doesn't have any one. I don't. I just, does she hear the fucking, does she? Real quick, I just have to say,

because I'm watching all the music videos for each one of these videos. What she basically did for each one of her videos was doing a 10-second Instagram video. Don't I like turn it down? Sorry, I'm going to turn it off because I was fucking song sucks. I was tired of hearing it too.

I would rather hear your voice right now. Her music videos consist of her doing a 10 second Instagram video. Is it like her walking in a botanical garden? No, like I'm getting a vibe of that. This is her 10 second mirror ball. This is the video for her entire song. Oh, yeah. And it repeats itself.

That's it? It just repeats the same 10 seconds. That is very lazy. Lazy, right? I wonder why she was able to. No wonder. Okay, yeah. Now I'm getting like, when I hear a secret album was dropped,

I like usually thinking, okay, well, they've been like in the trenches, in the studio, working for like last seven, eight months. No, she fucking was in her garage for two days. You know how easy it is for Taylor Swift to knock out a music video? If she's not going to try hard, she could at least be like, okay, just record me singing it. I'll be walking around, whatever. No, she did a 10 second. On a loop?

On a loop. That is bullshit. All right, let's go to the next one. Next song is called seven. Is it track seven? Let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six. Yes, it is.

Okay. That is the epitome of lazy. That immediately lets like, what's the track seven? She just... She was like, well, just put it the seventh song. Just call it track seven. I don't have time to come up with names right now. You're not being very swift with your name.

She's not being swift word, Taylor. Or Taylor with her Swift. It's the same fucking song. This is track three again. Actually, we didn't listen to track three for longer than like three seconds, so I think it was track four. It's literally a video. Let me see the video.

a video of her in a tree when she was seven on repeat for seven seconds. Why couldn't she give us more a video than like a five seconds? Just let it run. The Taylor Swift heads will think it's adorable and they'll be like, oh, let's come. That was a bad idea. Bad decision, Taylor. All right, we're a minute and a half in. Let's hear if it changed it all.

Okay. A little bit more horse clop. And that's it. That's the only difference Next What do you think the name of this song is? Weekend vibes Okay so the last song was seven, right?

So I want you to think of Eight But think of it in months Ocho? Oh, August? I got it? All right, well you kind of lobbed it over the rim I just kind of threw it home

So I mean August but lowercase August So not the... Oh, so it's artistic Yes. Does she have an artistic 10 second video That plays on a loop for it? you're telling me this is not seven still this is the same song this is eight this is August actually there are only five second loop videos yeah I know yeah 10 seconds

46 is it to another minute I'll say this at least that actually had a little passion behind it yeah yeah yeah like August is so far my favorite but this entire I mean I wouldn't yeah I mean I'm not saying it was a great song but at least I felt a little energy in that one The last like seven songs were all just kind of heard doing that. Lofty, I'm a sweet girl. Why is any of these a dance song? Where's the banger? I want a banger.

Yeah, we're shake it off. You know, like something like that. Where's I feel 22? I don't know. I mean, I've heard. The most depressing. Point is I've heard some Taylor Swift songs that have made people move before. But there's no way you have to be a die-hard Swiftie to like actually listen to any of these songs fully.

I don't even just enjoy them. Just listen to the whole song. I'm having a hard time imagining actually playing any of these songs front to back and just like actually giving it a solid. Okay. So would you agree she hasn't been really trying in naming her songs in the last, like for sure the last two? I mean, if they're going by 7 in August.

In August? Yeah. It would agree that she hasn't really tried in naming her songs. I mean, yeah, there was one called Cardigan, wasn't that? And then her last two is seven and then August. August with a lowercase A, yeah. Lowercase A, which is August. eight, eighth month, whatever.

So, and number nine, the name of this song is called This Is Me Trying. All right. I am ready for that one right now. I'm so ready for Taylor to try in this album. I'm going to actually suggest that we let this give this one at least a minute because this is her trying. Let me skip to a minute in? No, no, no, let it run. I know this is painful for me to say too, but like let it run a little bit.

I can't do it. Oh my God, I'm so bored. I am so fucking bored right now. Did you skip ahead? Just skip ahead. Let's get ahead. Elicit affairs. Wait, wait, wait.

So we're done with her trying? Yeah. I kind of wanted to hear more of her trying. I know you did, but I didn't. Just because I want to hear what her trying sounds like. And I get it, but that was 30 seconds in at that point. That was 30 seconds. That was 30 seconds in it.

And this is her trying. She was not getting better. This one's called illicit affairs. Okay, that sounds. sexy maybe? And this is again a little five second video of her looking at the screen and then looking at like. And then blinking and it's just a quick blink. And then come back to looking at her. You know what the sheer lack of, this is her just doing a selfie. The sheer lack of effort she put into the videos speaks volumes. I mean I don't need to for this. This is this is

track one through five again. It's the same fucking song. It's the same song. You're telling me that wasn't the same song that's already played three times on this album. All right, next song, Invisible String. Okay, at least we got a little bit different of a guitar wrapped. That part, if I can loop that, what would you do with that?

Put like an Outcast track behind it. Well, yeah, Outcast would kill that for sure. Yeah, anyway, like, so far, Invisible String It's just different. It's a little different, so I'm, all right, let's... End this video. the way is her in like an old, old 1900s white pajama head to toe. Is it her doing the same thing five seconds in a row?

Five seconds, but she's walking up to it. That's where the outfit ain't heard. She did all these on the same day. This is like she's wearing the same outfit that she was wearing in that last one. She has to stay on this one. This one might drop it. Let's skip ahead. Mad Woman is the next one.

Dude. Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait, we didn't. Wait, we got a fucking... No, I don't think. I gotta say, I gotta be honest, this is the first time in any of our episodes where it's starting to feel like work. Like, I feel like I'm doing like a homework right now, like just getting through this. Like this is, this is like, I just feel like I should be getting extra credit for it.

It's hard for me to actually imagine somebody like going through this whole album and being excited throughout. Just being like, oh my God, give me more of this. Because even if you're into the whole lofty voice, Taylor, little country, twang little like her walking in a field on a five second loop even if you're into that the lack of variety is just like stunning it's just there's no way that somebody could want that what 14 15s i'm just hoping it's it like mad woman's gonna be better don't tell me there's 20 of these because i don't have 20 in me 16 and we're at 12 we're at 10 what's the odds that the clubbanger's going to come out on track 13 i think one of them might be

Let's see. Well, it's not this one. You're right. So we'll skip Mad Woman and go into it. Wait, wait, wait. Let me just hear on Mad Woman if she like... Is Mad at all? Jumped, yeah, yeah, jump into two minutes.

It feels like there should be a drop at some point. What's the video on this one? Did you hear that? She was a mad woman. Yeah, she said the words Mad Woman. That was in no way sounded mad at all. Or... Let's go a little later.

Does there a video here? You're not... So, now we've gotten into a point where she's like, what's the song called? Taylor, this track is called Mad Woman. Okay. Mad woman. There's nothing like a mad woman, and you know I'm a madwoman,

and sometimes people are madwoman. Like, this is, I mean, I've heard of artists just banging out an album just to fucking get some play before, like just to get some fucking crazy. But this is absolutely the laziest effort. And the five-second video loop absolutely epitomizes that. On top of the fact that, like, her songs are just literally her repeating herself. The last four songs are called Epiphany, Betty, Peace, and Hoax. This feels like when I'm in, like, a boot camp.

Let's see how these sounds. And I got, like, 15 minutes to go. And I'm, like, looking at the clock. And I'm like, oh, my God, I can make this. I can get through this. Okay, just grind. Don't think about what I'm doing. Just think about that I'm going to be at the end of it and be stoked that I got there.

That's where I feel like. And then two minutes later, you're like, fuck. You look at the clock. You're like, that was about eight minutes. and you're like, oh my god, it was only two. Shit. What are the odds? This one picks up anytime soon.

25 seconds in. All right, let me hear where it's going, though. Okay, so the exact same place that all the other ones went. All right. We are now three minutes and 40 seconds in. You mean you actually just skipped ahead right now? This isn't the... No, it's three minutes and 42 seconds.

That was Epiphany. Let's see what Betty sounds like. Betty's the name of a track? Oh Okay A little harmonica A little change of pace section

I won't make assumptions about why you switched your home room But I think it's because of me Skipping a hit I gotta be honest That was my favorite song The whole tracks before And for me to say

That that fucking song 13 tracks into an album Is my favorite track That's pretty much the only track I'll possibly listen to in this whole thing Here's my take on it That's a song that I would not enjoy, and I'm not going to ever listen to again.

But at least when I hear it, I'm like, okay, people that are into the country music that like to go to like country festivals and stuff, like, I could see them dancing to that. I could see them actually being like, yeah, this is a song that gets me going and everything. Like, that's the first song that I've like understood why somebody would listen to. Are you still playing it? Yeah, give it. No, no, we're done with that. You're done with it.

Yeah, you're right. I don't want to hear anymore. I got the gist. I got it. Next. Oh, space vibe. this one. 25 seconds in.

I want to hear what that little space sound of the background does, because I have needless hopes that it might do

something. I hear you, but we are 40 seconds in and that's where we have gotten to in this song. So, God.

Hang on, I have a prediction. Oh my God, wait, okay. She literally should blow your prediction

immediately? Yeah, I was about to say, oh my God, it's going to be stupid now. But what I was about to say is,

my prediction is that anything that sounds like it's going to jump into something is going to slightly fade down, and then Taylor's going to do her little, like, her light, spacey voice, where she starts singing softly and just starts singing about some kind of... I don't even know what the fuck she's saying.

I can't even... Like, the idea of actually breaking down her lyrics is, like, God, because, like, they all sound the same, and I imagine it's all about, like, there was a boy I once saw when I was a girl, and he looked like somebody that could change my world Like it's just literally The same kind of

In this video is her flying through a Just her filming her flying The clouds outside her airplane That was just her on the plane Putting a phone outside The fact that she could even give us more than five seconds of these things She absolutely made this album in one day I'm gonna fast forward it

Two minutes 30 seconds Yeah it's not changing Okay that's peace next And next No Last song of the album This is the last song Okay, well then we have to give it more than two seconds

But I don't want to What's this one called? We're at two minutes in What's the sun called? This is two minutes in? We're at the two minute mark right now It's literally This could have been the first five seconds

And nobody would have paid the difference This is two, three minutes in Okay so it's not picking up or changing or doing any... Okay. This is the last 20 seconds of the album. Yep. I gotta be honest, that last 20 seconds

couldn't define this fucking album anymore. What of the last 10 seconds just had like some crazy, like, you know, the Beatles had like a crazy ending track where it was like something in backwards

moving backwards. Like, yeah, it was just like, she just hit you over the NASA trip right at the end. Taylor Swift, what a shitty fucking album. Folklore. Okay, well It's hitting the charts

A lot of these are top tracks already There's no way though Oh yeah Number one, Cardigan The Last Great American Dynasty Exile My Tears and August Are all songs that are in the top 50

Not even Betty Betty, Betty was the only one that I actually had to believe in And yeah No Taylor Swift's the- Oh my God That is the album That was folklore Okay well this goes to show

That once you have and if there's anybody who I mean I mean this I don't know this could be said about a lot of people but like if there anybody has a name out there that's just like for some reason has like a massive fan base and just can do no wrong

every single time they put something out Taylor's supposed to the epitome of that because like Taylor's a cute girl who has a fine voice she's musically talented so she can put out music but god damn if it isn't boring and tried in just the same shit over and over again

And I got to think that like she's just on this, just mail it in level at this point where she's just like, my fans that are going to be there. They're going to buy my shit. And she's right. Because you just said they've got five songs in the top 50. So this is the proof. Taylor's learned. She could mail it in at this point. She doesn't even have to shoot a video for longer than five seconds.

She doesn't actually, like she shot that album. She recorded that album in the same day. I give her a week at best. So, she just realized. back and she's going to make millions. She's got at the point where she realizes she could shit out an album in a week and then it'll still apparently crush it was shit. That was shit. What the fuck did we just break down? It was worse. We were going to break down with songs because we'd like to break down beginning to end and

then talk about how good they are and the words and shit. There wasn't a single fucking song other than maybe Betty and even Betty was fucking half ass at that. And only reason we're giving Betty any fucking credit is because he had the fucking 13 tracks on the fucking album where pieces of shit. Taylor Swift, you, come on, man. man come on why do i feel like i need 20 minutes of my life back yeah man we just tortured ourselves why don't we even do that that was painful well because six of her tracks were in the top 50 and i was like you know what that sounds like we're hitting a lot at one point it felt like we could get knock a lot out in a short period of time and you know what that's called the taylor

strategy. We just Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift. Yeah, we just... Because if she wants to take such a short time to actually make an album and it doesn't even have it in her to fucking shoot more than a five second video for any of the tracks

or even like do something interesting. Fuck, I spend more time trying to figure out what to do for an interesting snap than she did for any of those videos dude. Half the shit she put on there, I'm like, that's not even good enough to go on my Insta story. I got to be honest. One thing I have

appreciate about you, Taylor, is that you brought out the me in Castle, and he has been non-stop Hater mode. Taylor Swift. Fuck Taylor Swift. I thought you were going to go, bad woman. No, I was doing, I was channeling my inner Justin. I know. I thought you were singing Taylor.

Me too. Fuck Taylor Swift, man. Straight up. All right, what do you give you this album? All right, you ready? We're going to do it at the same time. You'll get shit. And that's it.

You don't get shit. The album sucks. That fuck, what the fucking thing? Need something back. That kind of album just to make money. All you're doing is taking money from all your people that love you because they'll take anything you want to say and they'll just soak it in. They're like, it was great.

That album sucks. You can hear it from the dissect DJs that your shit is shit. I got to be honest, I've always kind of felt like Taylor Swift gets a little bit more shit than she deserves. Because like people, as much as like Taylor Swift has like a huge. following and people love her and she wins awards and shit i've always heard so many people just shit on her and i've always kind of been like i mean i don't know taylor's like doing you know she's she's putting out songs she's had some songs that are like some pop bangers different like songs

that like i'm like that's not a song i'm gonna play but i understand like why little girls like her and stuff like that but my god i feel like all the taylor haters that's just invalidated Justified. Like, this is the first episode of Dicect DJs where it felt painful. I bet she wins top album. I was not having a fun time. I bet she wins top album. I will kick the Grammys in the face.

And I'm going to find a way to do it. I'm going to shine up a gold boot. I'm going to get some steel-toed Martins. And I'm going to kick Grammy in the face. She's America's sweetheart. She's going to win top Grammy. No, no way. Although, yeah, dude, sometimes the Grammys does like to just like jump on the most

boring album and be like, oh, no, it's so. and peaceful and poetic. You just don't understand it. Fucking sucked. But I feel like her undoing might have been that those like five second videos are showing me, which just proved that she literally just shit this shit out. Those were each one of the music videos for each one of those songs.

She literally came up with this album idea on Monday and then by Wednesday it was like, oh, look, secret album everybody. You're welcome. Yeah, fuck her. All right. All right. I'm swift out.

I'm Taylor. Yep. We're done with that folklore bullshit. Taylor's with folklore? More like folklore. I'll have one word to describe that whole album, bitch. Next! I hope that was that album, man.