Dissect DJs - The Grab Bag Episode | "Soulful Strut" - Young-Holt Unlimited

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

In this special edition of the Dissect DJs we open up the Grab Bag and ask some of the most thought-provoking, mind-shattering, inquisitive questions to ever be discussed in podcast form, to the soulful sounds of Young-Holt Unlimited's 1968 classic "Soulful Strut".Would you rather be an Oompa Loompa or one of The Lost Boys from Hook? Climb the beanstalk from Super Mario or run the loop in Sonic the Hedgehog? Be granted your biggest wish or avenge your greatest regret? Who would you rather fight-  The Breakfast Club cast or the entire team from The Mighty Ducks? All this and more on a very soulful episode of The Dissect DJs - NEXT! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DETECDG, DJ, DJ. Oh yeah, you are listening to the soulful sounds of Soulful Strutt by the Young Holt Unlimited. I am Ryan Castle, which means that you are also listening to the beautiful sounds of the Dicek DJs. Dicek D.Js is a building at your boy D.J.M.C.J. Jigoo Jigoo, Jigga, Jigoo. And guess who's in the building? Miss Dizo.

DJ Castle? Oh, and of course, these in the building. But also, once again, back with us. We're so excited. He is returned to Cali, and he has returned home to the Dysect DJ's Nest. Mr. Greg Mestis. What's up, y'all? Hello, I don't have a cool intro or anything, so I'm just going to say.

We just gave you one. Hi. No, but like a, like a da-da-da-da-da-cats. I'll add it. I'll add it later. I'll add one right. Just look at it. I'll put one right here.

There you go. Yeah. That was good. That was good. Come on a raise up. No, Carolina's in the building, guys. Messis is here, and we have a good one for you because you said, you already said the name and everything.

You gave the title. Soulful Strutt. We are ready to die. By the Young Holt Unlimited, a song from 1968 by Soulful Trio. And it's one of those songs you all know, but didn't know you knew. She don't really know. It was created by drummer Isaac Red Holt, L.D. Young. He's the bassist.

and a pianist named Don Walker. And yeah, this one was created in 1960. I thought that was Don Walker on the Keys. He's a signature sound. Yeah, the way he hangs on that E-sharp, it's pretty, it's unique to him. It's nowhere to you. He really lets his fingers take a walk along the keys.

Takes the keys for a walk. Yeah, right along the strand to the beach. For some reason, I think of sharp cheddar, and then I think of a cassidia, and then I get hungry, and I don't know where I'm going with this. That was stupid. All of that was stupid.

So I would like to transition into an idea that I had for this episode. I thought, what if we did a little bit of a grab bag episode? Grab bag. Open up the sack, reached in, grab some random, just topics. Once we had Greg here, I was like, you know what, let's just all, just come with some fun, unique questions that we could bring to the table, kick it around, some what would you rather? Would you rather?

Would you rather? A little why would you use Like how would you handle You know whatever whatever we all want to bring to the table We're just gonna like reach in pull one out And we were on text message And we were like what are we gonna do We didn't want to do an old song

Which we're gonna do an old song after this And it's gonna be classic and you're gonna love it But we were like let's do something different And we came up with would you rather He sent us a trip a clip from family guy And I was like yes Don't bring that up That's that's how we came up with this

I'm coming out about how we came up today You gotta come up of how the development of the I was just trying to get you guys mind expanded and let go and that's all right I was losing it and I didn't have anything I'm you were losing Seem fast on that one you're like someone

save me but yeah no it's okay it's okay to show a little behind the scenes you know how the magic is made I guess thank you you know a family guide is fun shut me down but I like to turn it up I like to turn it up yeah you're supposed to be your co-host he's like an enemy

cutting your face with it didn't I told myself I wouldn't this. Look at what's happening message. Look at this. What? What are you doing? Look, it's just right in front of my. I told him I wouldn't do this. Hi everyone. That's me behind the hand. Can you stop? Yeah, my bad. All right. That's just for the visual crowd. Yeah, don't forget we're on YouTube. Watch us. Enjoy. D.I. Digick DJ at Radcastle on YouTube. If you want to see the visuals of this, also you can check out her TikTok where I plan on putting a lot of these clips. Yeah, there's going to be good ones. Why? Because we're starting with Would You Rather? Are we starting? I'm ready.

And you know, we actually haven't talked. about the TikTok thing a lot, but I've been actually, like, expanding a lot more, like, just clips from our show if you want to, like, see the visuals. Maybe you do, like, just listening to it, but you're like, follow the TikTok and see what, so where can people, so people can access visually on YouTube, TikTok, PBS, you said to. And that's it. And then Instagram, too. You do some up there, too, as well. You know, all the social mediums, you know what they are. Are we ready for this? I'm ready for one. All right. Let's go ahead and reach into the bag. Sounds like Jag is reaching in first.

Tell us what you got, Jag. All right. I got two randomly I picked up. Did we want a good one? Just, how about just, yeah. Let's just no judge, you know. Start with a good one.

I love that idea. Okay. All right. Would you rather have a... Preferably not being about shitting since always your first topic is about shitting. Okay. So not that one.

Okay, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's my whole list. Would you rather have a hand made out of ham or an armpit that dispenses sunscreen? Some, some creed. Sun cream

I'm not familiar with what sun cream is I'm not sure what sun cream is A natural abundance Coming out of your armpits that you're able to then cover yourself With 30 SPF Convenient actually Can you repeat the first one I miss what that was Would you rather have a hand made out of ham

Or an armpit that dispenses What kind of ham? This is actually it's honey baked Yeah that is probably the best kind Yeah but your hand's going to be gone. I'm not going to ever want to take a bite on my hand. I already want that as an option to like... Every dog's going to just want to attack your hand. This question was brought up. This answer was brought up. Will the hand grow back? It does grow back in a while. What's a while?

One month. A couple. So like most the time your hand's going to just have a bunch of bites. It's like when you were a small child and you had like a stuffed animal or like a like a Nerf football that for some reason felt like very biteable. and then it would just kind of end up having bites out of it the whole time. Anytime you played with it and you're like, yeah, I don't know. I just started biting it. It's just easy to bite. It would be like your hand all the time. You'd have this weird deformed ham hand that you'd have to explain to everybody all the time.

We just got a hammed. Yeah, as much as I want the ham to be the one because it's delicious and it's juicy and it would be like an appealing thing if I ever need a snack, I just take a bite of my hand. Let's be honest, if I'm at the beach and don't have any sunscreen, guess what? Just lift the arm, squeeze it out, cover my face. There's a motion you have to be in for it. Yeah, but if you have a hand made a ham and you have two pieces of bread, you have like a ham, hand witch, add out all times.

You do have a handwich, ready to go. Well, then you can't use your hand for a month? If you go all in, like, if you eat a finger or two of your hand, I'll tell you what, if my hand was. It's like one meal is your hand. It's like not even going to last you until dinner time. If my hand was made of ham, my dick would be spelt like ham all the time. Honey baked ham at that.

Yeah. Yeah. You have a honey bacon scent aroma. I got you. I don't really see. So what's the final verdict? I see no real benefit of having your hand being made of ham at all. Yeah.

I don't even really like the smell of sunscreen. So I don't like that one either just because I don't want that just being around too much all the time. But you got to pick one. Yeah, I don't want to have my hand being edible by anything. So I'm going to do the sunscreen bullshit. It was sun cream though, right? It says sun cream. Even better.

Maybe that smells better. Cream, okay, that sounds thicker. That started us off, guys. I'm going with the cream out of the armpit as well. We have a unilateral, unanimous. Is it unilateral? Anyway, we all decided to pick sun cream out of the armpits. For a minute there, I was so stoked of you using the term unilateral,

because I didn't even know if you're, using it right but i was like what a rare like great vocabulary word by justin so i appreciate that it happens often so all right i'll reach into it it was not used correctly i'll reach into the bag let me get my soundtrack please you don't need to play that much of it probably yes we do no wait it gets different right here let it cook man right there was where i was going to know just like your hand baked hand after the horns is when i will fade saying we're going to use it a lot you can just let it stay. Isn't that actually the whole song

that just keeps looping? Something like that. It feels like it. You come from North Carolina and you start throwing the podcast under the bus with our skills here. I'm sorry. He's just asking questions

and there are reasonable questions I've got to say. Would you rather live on an island with the savage kids from Hook or live amongst the oompa lupas from Willy Wonka? But if you live amongst

the umpalumpas, you have to also be one of them and like participate in their role in the willie wonka universe in the factory do i still have a ham hand in this situation no totally different scenario are there female umpalupas doesn't look like it not that i saw pretty much just a bunch of the same like six orange dudes all the time orange dudes that are like four feet tall or the hook or the savage kids from hook that are just like kill the lawyer you know like those guys like rubio and all them that would get obnoxious after a while i think get, I'm going to go with them, the umpalo.

More question with the umpahumbas. Do we have to practice our harmonizations of the songs or do we just naturally know them? You're going to have to practice a lot. That shit takes training. Yeah. You think you just like have it naturally like implanting your brain? No, they do routines. I bet you they spend the majority of their weeks like their work day.

Like it's like 30% checking the chocolate like river and like making sure the, the viscosity is up to level. about 40% making sure that there's not too much dangerous operations and checking the safety even though that shit clearly doesn't play unless they want it to and then it's like 20% of the day is spent just like learning the music and the songs and the dances and the routines and when to use them you get when you go so down sweets eating as much as an elephant eats is that one is actually I don't know the song I don't know don't come to me yes I didn't watch Willie Wong I only watch it for that one time that we did a review on it,

which by the way, we have to practice every day. Go back in our review and actually, you know what? Did I not post that? That was it? I'll repost it. You know, this will be a reason to say, hey, I'm going to repost our episode of Willy Wonka because I don't actually think I ever posted it on Dysak DJs. Maybe I did. So there's no female o'bblum-buss.

We have to practice. There's no savage kids either. We have to practice harmonization. I'm a kid, though, so I'm not even thinking about sex during that time. I got to say, am I a kid with the kids? No, you're you now as you stand, but you have to the world. Peter had to join the fucking savage kids and how did he get along? He was able to reformulate his whole game. He was able to be like, started like doing this a lot, you know?

Suddenly he started being able to envision the sweets. Suddenly he's like, dude, boom, there's a banana cream pie in front of me because I imagine so. Two questions. How old are the mermaids? Which world has the mermaids? Is that in hook? It's in hook, yeah. Oh yeah. Isn't there a part where like, I forgot about that? I haven't seen hook in years. I forgot there's a whole part. The mermaids and how far are they from the tree? Are they a distance? What, dude, okay, maybe I shouldn't have brought this up without watching Hook in the last 10 years.

What? Why is there, okay. He's like, Hook has Al Pacino. Okay, but I'll answer it. I'll answer. The mermaids are ages 14 to 26 because I don't feel like this island doesn't let people grow up, right? Then I'm going with the mermaids and I'm hanging out with the 26-year-old. They're simple.

No, but actually, I don't think. There's no female oompa-lumpas. I have to sing all fucking day. in work. I get to hang out with a bunch of kids, which is a little annoying, but at least they're having fun, and I'll go hang out with the 26-year-old fucking mermaid. How about I point this out? Simple decision, man. What about this? You could eat everything in the factory, and the fucking savage kids in Hook, they got to imagine their food. So, like, I don't even really think they're eating anything. I'm eating at anything.

I'm a man-old, all right? All right. You're sitting a lot on the 26-year-old thing, and I feel like now that I'm... You said it. But now as I'm thinking about it, isn't it like a main point from Hook that, like, everybody has to be a kid? Nobody can grow up. None of the pirates. None of the pirates. Some of the Indians were not. Yeah, Captain Hook was randomly in that little like sh-de-doo.

If you watch the cartoon, if you watch the cartoon, the guys are sitting there like, white is the red man, red dig-da-d-d-d-d. And so they're older. Sounds like a song that happened. They're older. And they're so no. The only kids that are kids are the kids in Neverland in the tree and shit. I thought that's what that was.

And you said 20-fucking-six-year-old mermaid. I'm going 26-year-old mermaid. Can't be the umpalumpas. final decision. They are always trying to like murder and shit. There's a lot more murder happening in both. But the umpalumpa farm has murders happening when kids are just like not listening to Willie and like just being selfish.

The savage kids at Hook, they kind of just seem like they're ready to just stab you. Well, they are not eating. They're eating. Yeah, they're hungry savages. So what are you going with? What are we going with? I'm going to go umpalumpa just because they're fun and they sing.

You know. And Greg would look for it. fantastic painted orange and with the green hair. Thank you. I think you could actually like stand out as like the umpulib. You might be able to take the business model up here. Constant singing that would have to take place. I don't know.

I might be my favorite part actually. If I could just sing all of my messages to everybody, that'd be great, man. It actually isn't a bad idea. Yeah. People would really listen to you. You could be their poster child.

You're like, we got the one umpalupa that like stands out, looks great in orange and green hair, something that we never thought we could be. And people, listen to his messages more. So far less deaths on the Wanka Ranch. Uh, that being said, I, I don't, something that really weirds me out about that whole like Wanka plant. I don't think I'd want to spend all my time there. Um, I think I could make the Savage Island work out. There'd be a

little bit of a Lord of the Fly situation going on, but I think I could like make them respect me as their leader. I would just like win them over by not being a child. I'm pretty good with a bow staff, you know, I could probably figure out how to work, uh, like a, like a dagger into the game. I could do art wheels, you know, I'm going to do like front rolls. And maybe I could even get this whole, like, imagining what food is on my plate and thing to work for me. And I could just, like, literally have my favorite meal every night, you know, and stay in, like, Rufio shape.

So I'll go with, I'll go with Hook Island, you know. I'll just savage out. I'm hanging out with Castle, although I'm hanging out at the mermaid ladies. All right, reaching to your bag. Reach into your bag. Oh, yeah, shoot. What is that you got? I don't know if I even have here, man.

I really am not prepared. That was the only thing I asked you to do was prepared. Even one. Okay. Does it play, guys? What you got, that was my turn? Okay, fuck, marry, or kill?

Oh. Okay, this is going to be a guy. A person you'd only want to have sex with, a person you'd like to make your spouse, or someone for whom you wish to murder. We know how fuck marry kill goes. We did like a whole episode. Oh, those were the options.

Oh yeah, that's right. Justin didn't even know what it was when we did the options. Those are the options. No, no, he's given the options, Cassidy. I know. He was explaining the rules of fuck. No, no, that's not the rules. No, no, he was telling you. Those are the options. All right, let me do another one then. Okay, here we go. What did you want to be when you were in your mid-30s? You say that like that was years ago, dude. I find. Here we go. Honest, hottest trainee you've ever slept with. Go. I don't like Greg's light as a questioning, man. I feel like you did not take this game seriously. Her name was Jessica. But not really.

It was Mexico. Swat trip, actually. I didn't tell you guys about this. I believe it. Well, it's not like this is being recorded for everyone to learn about that. So I'm getting the vibe that Greg did not prepare any questions. All right. I'm ready for another one.

All right. Me and Justin might have to just supply everything. I got a deep one here. I got a deep one. This one's going to not be as funny, but are you ready for it? Yes. Greg's better at just playing off of it. Would you rather, would you rather?

I had another one. Live forever. I didn't want to hear it. Or die right now. I can, yeah, live forever. You know, you have to make that choice right now. Like, okay, Greg, like right now, I have a choice, and I have to make it. Either I die right now or I'm forever living.

Yeah. I die right now, dude. I could be honest, it would be awkward. That decision would make it awkward for us. I could be, you know. Yeah. And then he pulls out. Forever I'd appreciate it.

It would like, cool. So. He pulls out a knife. And he's just like, we're going to figure this. You guys want to live forever? All right. I'm just saying. Here's my question.

I'm about 50-50. He seems like he wants to live for you. Well, here's my question. It's just him dying right now would be so awkward. You'd be like, yeah, right now. It would make this podcast get a lot more dark and weird. Okay, but is it like vampire rules where it's like I can like stay as I am now? Or do I just like, when I look 70, I look 70 and 80, I look 80.

And then I just next thing, you know, I look like 150 and people are like, dude, that's the oldest person I've ever seen. And I'm like, walk. around like just like i don't want to be here anymore but i can't you know yeah it's tales from the crypt you start turning the tails from the crib guy for sure can you not like just decide to like pull the plug on it whenever you want though like what's keeping you from doing that you're committed no it's forever you can't die all right we'll say you can brad pitted in uh vampire oh yeah then i'm that all day all life i'll be brad pitt from what was that diaries of the vampire

what was that yeah vampire strikes back what was it i just remember i just remember it was I mean, I struck the vampire. Legends of the fall, is that it? I don't know. Something like that. Okay,

but really think about what you're signing up for. Everybody you ever going to know is going to die. And then the new people you love are they're going to all die. And everything is just going to change. When you're just dying right now would be so crazy. I'd be like, at a certain point you just like accept that as like the way life works.

Dude, I'm out. I'd rather do that than it'd be like the year 34, 26. And I'm just like, fuck, I'm still around. Still around.

It's still me. I'll tell you, it's more of this, the immediate circumstance that happens. Like, I, I just don't want you guys to have to deal with my dead body. What if you were like, immediately. What if you were like, instead of right now, you were like, okay, like a year from now. And then you just live the next year, knowing, like, this is your last one. I definitely die into the year and going nuts. Yeah, does that change your, does that change your?

Yeah, is that change your thing? You know you're dying a year from now. I was down to out right now. And you'll be healthy until the second of death. You'd be like, whew. That does sound like. an entertaining year, I feel like the last half of it would just be like

a fucking trip though. You just be like, man. Wait, I got a good one. Okay, what if it's for the next five years, you get to live in your absolute peak, like the most handsome, most fit, most energized, like amazing everything, but only for five years.

Like right now. Like right now, yeah. We had the same joke. We had the same job. Or we're both stupid, we're stupid people. Sure, you guys are in your peak. Yeah, yeah. Just do. Just go on, go on.

Or, what about if it was the peak you could possibly beat? Like, like, you're limitless, like, like, my whole body, everything. Like, you never ate a carb. You worked out every day. Brad Pitt from Fight Clubabs. You know, you're just, and then also, like, just Captain America, upper body, whatever the fuck, you know. Yeah, okay, or that was the first one. Or.

Yeah, it was the second option. Or, uh, you do live like, you live a long life. you're like 150, but you're just an old, you're guaranteed to live a long life, but you're just a really old, frail person. I do feel like 150 is just like 50 years. Like by the time you're 100,

you got to be like, you know what? I think I saw this life thing through. Yes. And then you did like a whole other like even longer than we've been here. We're fucking by like 10 plus years. And like you got to do that for fucking another. Like, yeah,

that would just be a long stay. Imagine that. Where the people around you were like, dude, believe he's he's still he's still around huh imagine that but like living forever then I know but that's what I mean the difference

with me is if I could like stay like Brad Pitt vampire in that legend of the fall movie or whatever the hell what was the interview with a vampire that's it yeah it was one with him and like Tom Cruise or like vampire that was vampire strikes back dark we all had stupid guesses but I landed the plane on it but yeah

no if I could do that especially specifically if I could be like Brad Pitt vampire form then I would just go ahead and live forever like you'd go through some runs of life vampires sounds so hot that would be dope man and you'd go through certain iterations of life or like the last like 40 years kind of kind of been like whack but like this last like eight after that kind of caught on you're getting pretty hot actually I'm kind of digging where where things are going now so yeah that's that's my answer if I could be uh Brad Pitt interview the vampire I'll do that forever if I got to like age like a 150 year old man in 150 years like I'm fucking uh I'm just crashing

out in this next year and just making it the the narliest year not only I've seen but anybody that I've ever been around what about die right now versus I don't really want to die right now man that would make this podcast so much darker yeah what if I just decided we flip a coin and then one of us just has to like we draw a card or straw and then it's like one of us just got to go right now and that's the decision they got real quiet

we're like oh shit what about that because I have a straw right here I didn't tell you guys this is the soft would be the fairest way this is the soft portion of the episode yeah all right Justin your shit got dark

what was that yours yeah I got one more you ready wait it's my turn see now you like mine better huh now yours were awful dude I mean let me know when you're ready to you need to at least sit one roundout. You're like, which tranny did you hook up with that?

That was a legit question, dude. Sorry you guys haven't lived as much life as I have. You put no thought into any of your shit. Okay. Would you rather sit in the dive bar for 12 hours and force conversation with any person that came near you at any time? Or spend a week on campus.

You spend a week on a college campus as a tour guide who gives specific emphasis to everybody in the group about joining the school's improv team. I have to do 12 hours versus a week. I'm doing 12 hours all day. I'll do 12 hours and talk to random people in the bar.

That's easy. 12 hours. But it's like... I'm talking to 12 hours. I'm not doing it. Any person that like even like sits around you and they're like and they're not and they're not like continuing to respond and stuff and you just got to like make conversation about the weather.

I'm doing that. Ask them how their day has been like what they do. One of the reasons I am a DJ and why I do what I do is because I work one big day and I work all day and then I have multiple days off I'm that for all day if there's between working one day for 12 hours or one day seven days I'm taking the one day and forcing myself to figure it out so that's my decision final thought go yeah wait so it's you're you have to entertain people what is it again at a dive bar and just be the guy that like just talks to everybody that like even comes around you're drunk and

dive we're talking to people like I said literally what I do like all the time that is how Greg does bars yeah I don't even need to be drunk I just go park me. You're talking about Tuesday. Yeah. Oh, anyway. All right.

Okay. Okay. Let's just take the time out of it. Like you just do 12 hours versus like a whole day as a campus like tour guide. A whole day. So 24 hours versus 12? Just just the same. Let's just.

Who's tour guiding at 2 a.m.? All right. A vampire. Let's just say the time frame is the same. Okay. Would you rather spend it? Let's say seven hours. Seven hours doing the dive bar thing.

We're seven hours. a campus tour guide out of college, it being like, you guys really should check out the improv team. We're called the Jocular Jeds. Jed is named after our school founder, Jed Jad Jaden Sworgan. He was a really funny guy. He had a great sense of humor. It's a lot of fun.

People just throw out ideas, and like, we wear silly costumes. We have casual Friday. You guys are really love it. Here, I'm going to pass out some flyers. This is one our first practices. You know, you just get really into it. Why don't want to do anything? So we know which one you want to do it.

do because you have the whole presentation nailed down to. I'm getting drunk at a dive bar and talking to people for seven hours. If you had to do that and like force people to like be interested and then you're every now and then you're like and this is John Stone Hall. That's where our math department is. Our improv team, the jacular jeds actually likes to meet there sometimes and we just like wig out. Why would I want to do that one? I'm going to just do.

At least the jocular jeds. Would you rather at the dive bar with random people? I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to go that one. day long dude i think i would do at least then i could like drink while i'm doing it i wouldn't have to do like walking around i just wanted to present the other one i was trying to think of like what would be a nightmare situation if you had to like lead a bunch of people and and what i don't know if you're a good time that like actually Greg would end up joining the improv yeah i'm like too

a joke yeah this was a little deep a little awkward a little fun okay okay if you were an inch into do it no it sounds great it's already happening okay if you're an itch into your mom

and your dad was an inch into you would you go forward or backward to escape that's so ridiculous Greg do you have one you want to bring to the table

bro that is so I didn't think you were going to introduce some extreme incest Greg let me hear your with both parents Greg your timeout has been lifted please reach in on the Greg bag. Oh my gut. I think that was like all of mine.

Oh, my last one was... You said you had one. No, I didn't... We're skipping my last one? I did listen to half of it. Well, the other one I had was who is the handsomest man in the room, not including Ryan or Justino. And the other one was just what if God was one of us? That was all I had. Talk about Jimmy Hendricks over there?

Andre 3000? That was actually really funny, though. the Jimmy Hendrix pictures off, been off camera all season. Chewing gum. I would probably, that's the most wild position one can possibly imagine themselves. You're not going back to his, dude. Greg, I was begging you to, like, come up with something. I got a better one, dude.

Greg really did not get the assignment this. By the way, I gave you guys these like a week ago, and he was like, yeah, I wrote a few down. No, it hasn't been that long. He was like six days ago, dude. That's a week, dude. Deep one, deep one. Okay, this one's like seriously you can think about. Would you rather fulfill your biggest wish or resolve your deepest regret?

Ooh, that's a good one. It's much better than the- Well, I guess the answer will vary depending on if the person has lived with a lot of regrets or is like a dreamer, right? Wait, did you say, what was the first one again? Your biggest regret, you get to get rid of your biggest regret. resolve it or fulfill your biggest wish. Oh, I'm going biggest wish for sure. I'm going biggest wish and then just giving money to whatever the regret was that I had.

I mean, your regret doesn't need to be a monetary situation. I'm just saying. My biggest wish is to have multi-billion dollars and then I will give some of that money to my deepest regret and resolve it. Easy. Yeah. How could you resolve your, what's your regret? I don't know. Whatever is, I'll throw money at it.

Hey, look. Money can take care of a lot of debt. It was like that one speeding ticket. A lot of daycare, a lot of alimony. Whatever, you guys say it was. Money can't solve everything, bro. Like if you're between your mom and your dad, money's not going to do nothing about that, dude.

Oh, we can solve his biggest regret. What would you do? I would. I go wish for sure. Like, I'm living forward. I'm not moving backwards. You know, like the mistakes we ate in the past, make us who we are today,

make us stronger people as well. And that is actually what could. create the wish that we could actually fulfill our dreams with. And if you actually just gave me like a leg up, if the question was you don't just get your biggest wish, but like you will be put in the potential to achieve your biggest wish, you just get a shot at it, I'm going that too. I would just like, let me just get a chance to achieve my biggest wish.

And then I'll like conjure up what exact that is. Biggest wish. I think I'd go biggest wish too. I don't know what that would be, but I don't have a regret that's big enough to overpower a wish. I don't have any regret that's like enormous enough to where I'm like, yeah, I get it. I have to avenge that. I don't know what's going on here.

We had a pain point here. Just, you know. Yeah, I'd go biggest wish, though. Would you rather climb the beanstalk, if this is a real life situation, climb the beanstalk in Super Mario? I always want to do that. Or run the loop in Sonic the Hedgehog. Like, if you had to really make one of them happen, like which one would you rather do if you had to?

so I'm Mario or I'm a hedgehog. You know when Mario would like hit the question box and it'd be like Blu-dood-dood-d-d-d-d-do-do-do and I read like just like a beanstock and you climb it and now suddenly he's in heaven and he's like collecting coins. But you've got to climb, we're going to imagine. This is actually real life. You've got to climb that fucking beanstock all the way through the cloud. And you're like, I don't know how high this is going.

Yeah, but Mario doesn't get tired. I mean, maybe you would. This is you. Yeah. And also. Yeah, but how are you going to run in us? Sonic. That's the thing.

Loop. That's, you don't have Sonic. You got to go Sonic Loo. You don't have Sonic speed. You can't do that, though. You just got to, like, get a good running start. I'm just hoping you're like, oh, you're not. You're not, you're not, you're you in both these situations.

So which one are you like? So all of a sudden, it's not so much of a which one be more fun. It's which one would I survive in. I'm climbing that bean stock for sure. I don't know. Can I think about this for a second? Yes. Because it was always a secret and it was always like it would take you to a hidden area with, you know,

whatever, coins or a good, whatever it was. True. We need some thinking music for this. I think I've chosen. Just realize that song is like, like, kind of, like, game show between question music. Is that what it makes you think of? Like, it's just, yeah, it's like, it's like a time for you to think about something or come up with an answer. That's what that song is kind of what I was going for. Yeah.

But also, you basically just called it's geniuses. Yeah, that's exactly what this is. Oh, is that one? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty intelligent. It's like our version of the Final Jeopardy song. Except for it actually reminds me of like a great walk in Vegas,

which is like we're going to tell the story of where exactly it just came back in our lives. When we're in Vegas this past year for our buddy Juan's wedding, it just played on a commercial and then it just became like our song of the weekend. It's like anytime we're in Vegas, like there's always just like a song that just, you can't even like manufacture too much. It just becomes a song that just like becomes our go-to song. And that was it that time because it was just like such a good like walking around.

in Vegas some, especially it's like the sun's going down and shit. And it gives you a great opportunity to ponder stuff like, would I rather climb the beanstalk in Super Mario? Would I rather around a loop collecting coins in Dr. Robotten's Castle? I kind of want to know what's up there. I just feel like the adventure of climbing the beanstalk a little bit more fun, even though you're like what, I'm literally going into the heavens. You're just going in uncharted territory.

Doing the sonic loop would just kind of be. a fun trick. You'd feel very accomplished running through it. You even get to collect some coins. But I just feel like the adventure of climbing a bean sock to the unknown, just a little bit more exciting. I'm going down the slide. Not a slide. It's a fucking loop. Whatever. I'm doing that. What about going down the

green tube? That would be a treat. How fuck is the green tube? You know the little, you know the tube? Oh, the pipe. Yeah, the pipe. The green pipe. That's, that one's kind of frightening. That's my answer. You're just going to off the board. Perfect. I'll let you do it.

This is weird, Castle, because I can't look at you when I talk to you. I want to, like, gaze into your eyes, you know? I know. You're way back there. I know. I'm like talking to the back of your head. There's actually no reason you can't move this forward. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. You're farther back. I actually didn't mean for you to stay. Would you rather move the mic back? Yes. Or keep... Or go up a beanstock.

When I actually set this up for you, I didn't mean for you to sit way back. I'm like, you know what? In the other bedroom, like, hey, guys. What are you doing in there? This thing's not supposed to stay. this far out. That's what she said. Like move it?

Can I move it? Yeah. Look it. Look at it. Watch that. Move forward slightly. Okay, there we go. Yeah, yeah.

That's actually what I was meeting for you. Hey, guys, what's up? Yeah, you're actually like on her level now. You've been sitting in the back. I can stand up. I can sit up now. I've been sitting in a back row. Yeah, yeah.

Let's redo the whole episode. Did I got some other? All right. All right. Start it up again. Start it up again. Would you rather, your brother with your,

never mind. Oh, no more incest. That's a tough place. Oh, yes. Let's do it. If you had to wear one of these things as your regular thing, every day, would you rather have just a bow tie?

That's your look. Or a Kangle Hat, like L.L. CoolJ. in the 80s. Can I put the bow tie in other places other than my neck? Wherever you want, it's your bow tie. You just have to have it on you. Is someone about to talk? I don't know what's happening right now. I asked the question you guys.

Oh, I thought you were about to say something. No, I mean, I'm looking at both of you. It was a send-off. I was a laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't pick up the cue. That's okay. Clear podcast.

Yeah, I know. I'm clearly an amateur out of here. I just pulled in to the group. Um, ah, those are both. These horrible garments, dude. He's either like Pee B.

Herman or where's a king of? Or you could think of a cooler person that were a bow tie. Probably a Kangle hat because, uh, piggy blinders. Yeah, there you go. Pinky Fookin blinders. I just realized. both these things are like things that like they might stand out initially but like once you

got ingratiated in a community and they just expected and they knew you as such like you it's it's just kind of like whichever one you think it looks good like i remember there used to be a guy when i first moved out here there was a guy when i worked at sharkies when i like fucking 15 years ago there was a guy who always shut up with a fedora hat now on an initial site you might be like that guy kind of looks deep-exing But, like, he always had it. It was just part of his look. And at a certain point, you're just like, oh, yeah, Fador guy, what's up?

You know, it was just his thing. You know, it was just look. So I feel like I can make Kangle Hat work. I don't feel like I'd want to wear the rest of the gear that supports the bow tie thing. And when I got to wear, like, a sports code, do I got to wear, like, do I got to wear suspenders with it all the time and shit? I got no problem wearing overalls. But I wouldn't want to be forced into the box with the suspenders. And I just feel like there's too much.

crappy edness that goes around with a bowtie thing. If I was able to put the bowtie on my forehead, like as like a headband, like a headband. Like a baby? Like a little baby. Like a little baby. Like a little hairboat. Yeah, yeah. That is exactly what you would let everybody know that this is a baby girl. I'd go with that. So I'm going to bowtie. You'd be baby girl Justin.

As long as I'm able to wear the bow tie. It's a girl. It's a Justin. All right. Fair enough. It really is just the same. song. Over and over. You listen in the full song. It has like a little bit of like pickups and downs,

but it's like the same, you know, in the 1968, that's all you needed. Just needed a good, like, jazz number. Play that out. People would get excited. They'd be like, that's the hit. That's the hit we've been waiting for. I have a couple other Woodjay Rathers,

but I feel like I already went overboard with a couple of mine. I knew that you weren't capable of doing this without going. Just like. Yeah, almost banned. But go ahead. Let's try one. I'm afraid. I'll let you, I'll let you into the,

house one more time. Okay. Through the back door. What you got? Okay. Your step sister. You gotta keep going incest, dude. What is your deal?

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. What? Was there something on your mind when you made all these? Jesus. Christ. Stepsister. He's making progress.

Okay. Jesus Christ, man. All right. He was very much had incest on the brain when he wrote all of his clearly. All right. Excuse you. I was just, never mind.

Okay. So slaps and snaps. No. I got more. Oh, you got one more? All right, last one, hit it. All right. Which one of these would you rather have?

A full mistake conversation with somebody for seven minutes. Or you have to be forced to land an airplane because you pissed off the pilot. Let me explain. When I say mistake conversation, it just came to mind while I was on my run earlier today. This thing literally happened. You're on a run, right? Girl walks past and she's like, oh, hey, how's it going? going like oh hey what's up i'm looking i'm like i don't know who that is and then but she's kind of

like stopping like she's expecting me to talk to her yeah then sentence there for a second and i feel like i see like a look in her eye where she's like oh wait that's not how i thought it was so now we're both suddenly in this like conversation we're like i don't i don't know that is and i don't know that is we were far enough to where it was able to be like she had like kings gear on i was like hey i like your gear yeah go kings and i was able to kind of like just keep it going you know but what have you had to get set in that situation? For some reason we were like trying to both cross the street and then there was like some like parade or construction that goes back

and they're like, sorry folks, we're going to be here for about seven minutes. So it's not just like that you're stuck there for seven, like a lot of time, but it's like, no, this is going to be seven minutes and you've got to sit in this conversation. You both can admit that you just mistakenly thought you were somebody else and now you have to talk and hash this whole conversation out.

I'm doing that. Try your best to not have to figure it out. or the airplane maybe you were like I'm not landing an airplane so I'll talk to somebody randomly for seven minutes seven minutes is not that long of time to start striking up count as it feels like it though

if you don't know exactly how long it's going to be going to try to land a plane are there other passengers on this plane let me explain the airplane situation maybe you asked like the flight attendant like hey there's a flight attendant that means there's plenty of people no because it's not even like the pilot died

and they're like somebody has to take over you asked how long this flight's going to take to land pilot overhears you and he's like oh this guy thinks he could just get there quicker you know what hey you try it no you get in there you landed pilot's a dick right you just first one you just broached on some area that he's just like much more extreme clearly you're getting one this is like a life and death versus it's a little awkward tell you what I'm doing the pilot thing wow now I feel like it's pride of the line This pilot wants to see me fail.

He's willing to put everybody's life on the line. And you probably will, dude. What are you talking about? You never floated to play. You would know that episode of Seinfeld when George convinces the girl that he's a marine biologist? And then all of a sudden he has to like, they're like, that whale's choking. Is there a marine biologist in the crowd? And then he's just like, I'll tell you at that point, I was a marine biologist.

Like sometimes you just like go into something with confidence. You're like, I just do this. And it's a matter of like standing up for myself. the people around me and letting them know that I can do this. Once the pilot's just down to fucking throw everybody under the bus just to be like, oh no, this guy wants to tell us how quickly. Do it, might do it yourself. Yeah, no, let me see.

He starts doing this fucking pose. He's like, no, no, he's going to land the plane. The biggest asshole, dude, this guy should not have been, but he's got us in the air. Now he's fucking making a fucking point. He's got to like just. He lost all his pensions. All his credibility.

And I want to fucking drive that part home. I don't know what I'm doing when I'm up in the air if I was to sit in that fucking cockpit. I don't know exactly how to line it. It is. And in this point, it would definitely play because I'm figuring out how to fucking drive that cock home. I'm going to have to. That thing out. Was that the whole point of that joke?

It wasn't a joke. You derailed me. I would look at you derailed yourself with that story, sir. I would say the first one is an easy. easy. They're not even in the same. They're completely fucking different. It's like awkward conversation for seven minutes or save 300 people's lives on a plane. In hindsight, yes. That would have been like an easier one to...

You're like, okay, do miniature golf with someone. You're not, you don't like that much. Or fight a bear in the woods for three, you know, fucking hours. For three and a half minutes. Yeah. With the ham hand. Dude, I don't fuck that bear. up man

he doesn't know about my triangle choke what are you picking yeah i just feel like a lot you're a wizard of easy choices dude i feel like i could just do a lot of this and be like we're going there's like you're gonna you're gonna be like the easiest dad you're gonna be like okay son either you can go to bed at seven o'clock tonight or you can stay up all night eating candy what are you going to do

you're like the easy choice man dude or it's more like do you want it it's more Like an educational, do you want to eat this broccoli? Or do you want to fight this old homeless man who I've hired to get in a nine minute round with you? Which one, you eat the broccoli, right? Ah, good boy, I'm glad for you using it. Luther, stay on standby tomorrow night. Your dad's like, don't call me an old homeless man. Yeah.

I'm going to try to get him to do his homer tomorrow night. So stay on standby outside. Just right behind the porch. Yeah, that'll be good for him. All right. I could lay in that plane. Fuck you, pilot. And then seven-minute conversation could just feel like

In an hour and a half sometimes You're tripping Slaps and snaps I'm giving soulful strut a That was a soulful three slaps And a soulful three snaps Yeah three and three It's good Yeah

It leads to great Would you Rathers And yeah It's classic man And these guys is photo In Spotify just makes them look You look They had a couple of hats

They went for the bow tie And they look like a soulful They went bow tie with it Okay, that was their answer to the question. Not in my picture. They both kind of got loose tithes, you know, those loose 60 ties in my picture, but they pull them both off. Yeah, you have a different one. All right, Greg, out of five slaps.

What are you giving the soulful stretch? Slaps and snaps. Slaps and snaps. I can do five of each. You pick. Anything in between, really, to be honest. This one, for the first 15 seconds. This is only for the first 15 seconds.

right like and a snap but then after that it goes downhill so then I'm just like because it's just the same thing over and over you only gave it a snap it's a same thing over it's it's a same thing over it's cool for a little while and then you're just like all right all right all right how long is the song Greg's the first one three minutes okay least it's only three minutes the actual song might be longer Greg's the first one is trying to implement time period residual snaps like yeah like in time increments I think I think what we could help them them out with in the way we do that is just you say you started with three and then it kind of went long and you're like I'll take it down a snap so then yeah just minus snap so then I'm just

go to two slacks and a snap yeah yeah there you go there you know that's a big change though you went from anyway all right castle what do you got if you had to take on a whole group in a fight who do you like your odds of versus better the breakfast club from the 80s movie with milio s divis or the entire mighty ducks team from the mighty ducks movie with milio sivis Aren't they all like How old are they? Around like 10 to 13 But there's like way more of them

There's like And they're athletic I mean they got skates They got hockey sticks It's only Bender Who's kind of the cool guy And a wrestler Bender's got a nice

And then the nerd is not gonna do anything You really got to worry about Bender And Emilio Estabez Do you get the teacher Is the teacher part of this? Fuck it Get him in there too Because I would want to punch him

I'd be mad if I beat up everybody And I'd be like Where's that fucking principal Dude I wanted to take him out Well I'm at A ruckus Yeah. I'll show them a fucking ruckus.

You mess with the bull. You get the horns with that guy. I would give them those horns. I think I would prefer, man, but then in the Mighty Ducks, you get to beat up that fucking Averman kid, and that would be fun. I'm going breakfast club because they smoked weed. No, it's who you're fighting. He's like, I'm going breakfast club because of how well-dressed they are.

After, wait, after you beat them up, You can just take their weed, I guess. There you go. I don't want to fight the breakfast. That's like one of my favorite movies. I don't want to fight any of those. I love them all. I love all the characters.

I mean, but I guess if I had to choose, I guess them. Here's how it goes. Then I'm like punching, like, there's like women in the breakfast club. Is that really? Here's how I see it going. Yeah, you're fighting sweet 16.

Yeah. I square off of them. I double leg Emilio Estvez immediately. He's the threat. You know, you got to take him down. He's dangerous. He's the wrestler. I'm going to get in a tough grappling match with him.

But if I could fucking choke him out, that's basically where it all comes down to. Once I choke him out, Bender's going to stand back. He's not going to get aggressive. He'll have a knife. But he'll be back here and just be looking at it like with his stupid face like, maybe he does beat Emilio. That'll be cool. He'll be happy to see that.

He's just going to observe. If I can choke out Emilio, I get up, do a roundhouse back kick, boom, take Anthony Michael Hall out. He's not going to fucking do shit. at this point, Psycho Girl, Ali Sheidi, she's running. Or she's hiding. Or she's jumping on your back and chewing on your ear. In which case, I might just be like, ah, and I helicopter around.

And then I hug her, and she lands right on Molly Ringwald, and maybe that takes them both out at the same time. Now I'm like, looking at Bender, and I'm like, What Passa, Ombre? And I just kind of feel like then he would like look at me, and it'd be like, okay. Respect we did her today. And then he just like hops up on a locker and he like climbs out a window because he's a reckless, does whatever the fuck he wants. He doesn't really care. Once he feels like he could be in danger, he's out.

Then fucking principal shepherd comes in or whatever the fuck his name is. He's like, did I hear a ruckus? And I'm like, oh, you about to feel a ruckus, son? And I just run directly at him and I hit him in the face with the trash can. And on elementary school trash can too with that, a black, a plastic tank. one, you know? Fucking run them around the whole like cafeteria train where they like put all the food

down. I fucking have my way with that guy. Fuck that guy. He always sucked. So I think I had more fun with the breakfast club. I'd feel bad if I just beat up a bunch of hockey kids who were just trying to like fucking although I would like to backhand Averman. For more on that

look at our episode on Mighty Ducks that me and Jayway did last year. Hit it! Next!