Dissect DJs - The Most Annoying Sports Fan Draft

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

It's Super Bowl week and that means fans of ALL kinds will be out and about and invading watch parties nationwide! With that in mind, Castle is joined by Juan Hernandez to break down some of the more irritable variations of the fan variety, with the FIRST EVER Most Annoying Sports Fan Draft!Some of these fans you may have encountered, some of these fans you may know well, and all of these fans will bring their own form of entertainment to your Super Bowl party. We draft 'em all one by one, did we leave any out? Let us know!It's time to call out Super Bowl fandom NEXT!Full Video Podcast: https://youtu.be/a2niOhYwmgoListeners of this episode may also enjoy: Super Bowl, NFL, sports, football, Tecmo Bowl, Nintendo, PS5, video podcast, Dissect DJs, Ryan Castle, Juan Hernandez, CBS, FOX, podcast, sports podcast, ESPN, Live Draft, Fantasy football, halftime show, commercials, analytics, crash out, sports bar, Spotify, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, comedy, sports talk, Kalshi, Fantasy Football, Super Bowl 60.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Is this a TechMobile? Oh, yeah. Is this a TechMobile? Yeah, it is. Those are the dulcet sounds of TechMobile. Oh, yeah. And we are back. It is the dissect DJs.

You're like to spin it, mix it, throw it back and dissect it. And today I have a very special guest with us. The one and only Juan Hernandez. Hey, is there like a cheer track for that one? Techmobile obviously has a touchdown anthem sound, so we're going to play that right now. Boom. Is this your first time on the Dysak DJs?

I remember you were... No, I did on one of the OGs. You were there at the Three Things podcast, which was my original podcast before this. Well, but Three Things was the format that turned into Diasect JX. Right, yeah, exactly. So that's what I'm saying.

Like, you were one of the original... Actually, my very first podcast I ever recorded was with this guy right here. Was it me? Yeah, the very first one that I did on three things was with you. Okay. And then this was actually originally a spin-off

of the Three Things About Podcast. And I don't think that you've ever made an appearance on this one though. It's been a minute. It's been due. We did a Super Bowl podcast. Yeah, I remember that. Years ago.

Oh, you know what? You have appeared because I reused one of our episodes for, I think the Super Bowl like two years ago when we dissected the Chicago Bears of 85's Super Bowl shuffle. And then once I used our recording of that and I made it a new episode in Dissect DJ. So for the Dissect DJ's audience out there, you may be familiar with them from that episode, but it's time we put something new in the books. And it is Super Bowl Week.

So, of course, I got to bring back one of my favorite football friends to discuss with who I go all the way back to 2009 with when we first worked with each other at Fox Sports, where we used to have daily debates about all kinds of bullshit. And we got sent out at one point with microphones to Staples Center to go interview fans for Fox Sports.com. Little man on the street segment, talk to Laker fans. also did at Dodger Stadium ones. Baby Castle still held the blowout. Yeah.

Roundface, Juana. That was the days. Those are the times, man. Many moons ago. But today we have a different mission, and as we head in a Super Bowl, I think we all know what it's like to go to a Super Bowl party, and you get inundated with all different types of sports fans. So today, here's what I would like to do.

I would like to hold the ultimate draft of the most annoying sports fans. So what I want to do is go back and forth, and we each draft a sports fan that would be the most annoying to be around that we're all very familiar with. I love that I'm the guy that you reached out to for this one. First, first name in the books when I thought of this idea. Hey, let's go talk about a song and like, let's go Viable on music. And it's like, hey, let's go talk about something that we hate for a while. And who's the guy that I should text? I have no more experience with anybody else of somebody complaining about a certain type of sports.

It's fan this way or that. Or this guy right here. Or just most things. Yeah. Which is why I had to come in uniform. Yeah. Let's talk about the most. Let's talk about the most.

Let's talk about the most... Yeah, got to rep the Al Davis starter. You need to check the YouTube feed out for this one. Yeah. Go ahead and flex it. Go way back. Go away back. So Al Davis.

Snow white. Even more the gold watch. Yeah, I just thought that was a coincidence. To go full mob. Yeah. I'm fully mobbed up. Just like Al. It's almost like you're ready to bang for up a franchise.

I can't actually wear this. Yeah. Are you over it? You're already. done? Brutal. All right. It doesn't look like a comfortable material at all.

Not in this weather. He's really struggling with getting it up. I know there's wires and stuff. Win-l loser try. It's win-luser tie Raiders till I die. I read a book, dude. I know, but how many ties we get in football? And how hilarious is it to watch the Raiders try?

How many we get? Does it matter? It's always the Steelers or the Packers. They're involved in it. I ripped my Tecmo Bowl shirt. That was the inspiration for the Tecmo Bowl intro because anybody that grew up in the 90s, Like that was our first taste of video game.

These kids... Actually, we're in full millennial mode right now. I got my dare shirt. Yeah, yeah. That's really a disco-dom shirt. You got your Tecmo Bowl shirt. Yeah, wearing the Raiders starter jacket. Another element that exists between us is a very strong love for the 90s and all things of it.

So that plays too. So here's what we're doing. You said we're imagining we're going to a Super Bowl party or hosting a Super Bowl party? Yeah, let's say we're hosting a party. And it's the worst people in the room? Our mission is... Let's create an environment that has the worst Super Bowl fandom that you could possibly have. The worst one fan.

You're sitting in a room and you're just like, this is the worst group of people that could ever be collected to watch a football game. So, yeah, that's our mission. So I asked us both to come up with some sports fans that we've all been around, creating a draft of the ultimate most annoying sports fans. So do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? Kick it off. Go for it. Okay. You defer.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I defer to the second half. Fair enough. All right, so my first pick of the all-time most annoying sports fan draft, the I don't care who wins, but I'm rooting against your team fan. Oh, I don't care who wins. I'm rooting against your team fans. Yes, and this one is specifically ingrained in my mind

because the most annoying fan, I use quotation heavily around the idea of fan that I've ever been around was like 10 years ago when I was watching a Dodgers playoff game at a bar. And there was this lady who was the most obnoxious person you could ever be around. And it was like a Dodgers elimination game. It was like game five of like divisional round. And it was one of those games where it was like one nothing Mets. It was against the Mets.

I remember that. One nothing Mets like all game. And she was so obnoxious with anything that went wrong for the Dodgers, which was a lot. In a one zero game, there's a lot of strikeouts hitting into a double play. You know one of those games where it feels like pulling teeth just to get a runner. on second base. Her fandom was purely based on. Yeah, and I know that because every time she would yell and cheer about something,

she would make sure to let everybody around her know, I don't even like either team. I just want the Dodgers to lose. And it's like, oh, good. So you've covered your base, so that way if the Dodgers lose, you already let us know, this won't affect you. So I'm going to play devil's advocate here because, sure, she sucks, but in her defense, LA has like a really weird way too many packer bars. Okay.

Right. I feel like if you put anybody in a room with any group of fans for any particular team, and that's not, that team is not, they just, just being in the room with all of those people, it just makes you hate that team. Sure. I've had no skin in the game my whole life towards the Packers or having anything to do with the Packers. And just living in a city where there's just, a weird amount of packer bars.

When you're just surrounded by nothing but packer fans, it's so easy to be like, oh, I hate the Packers now. Here's where you're wrong about this part. I'm not wrong about this. It's one thing if it's a transplant spot where it's like, this is a Packers bar in L.A. It's another thing if you're in the middle of L.A. And it's the Dodgers in an elimination game.

And you went out of your way. I don't even think she had any friends with her. You went out of your way just to be like, I'm going there just to annoy everybody at the bar. If you end up at a bar and it's randomly a Seahawks bar, and you're like, oh, shit, I didn't expect this. And now everybody's running for the Seahawks in L.A. Spend enough time in a Seahawks bar,

I guarantee you'll just hate the Seahawks. Yeah, no, that's going to happen anytime. I'll even vouch for this part like, I'm a diehard, diehard, diehard Rader fan. Obviously, I saw the Al Davis jacket. I came in with the Al Davis starter jacket. A snow leper with cancer. Put me around Raider fans long.

And terrible decisions. Put me around Raider fans long enough and I hate them. Yeah. Well, yeah, because those Raider fans are a hard hang. But all fan bases are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every fan base of every team is. And so I feel like there's a like natural inclination.

Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to get on board with that one. Like, it sounds like this is a specific. If it was the Giants in an elimination game and you had this, the other thing was she was like right in my face. It was literally, it was like standing room only. This sounds like one. And she was like right next to me and she wouldn't stop being.

This sounds to me like one terrible person that we need to go find her and shame her somehow, some way. She's not going to listen because I don't even think she likes sports. As a generic like painting with a broad brush of a fan. If you had this experience though, I haven't experienced enough of those people. Yeah. Because here, I'll give you an example. We all know this one. My actual like the one that makes me roll my eyes.

Are you doing your first draft pick right now? I'm going to throw it in here as an example because this is everybody can relate to this. Just make it your first draft. Everyone can relate to this one. All right. We guy. The we guy. The we guy. We guy.

When you're talking about their team or you're talking about the team that they root for. Yeah, Juan hates this one. Oh, I hate We guy. We guy sucks. We guys is the worst. We guys is when you're trying to have a conversation about insert X team and insert Y team, we guy has to, well, we beat you or we this or we did that or we could have done that or we should have done this and it's like point out on your stat line where you

contributed to the outcome of that game it's cool it's so you're on the bench right like during the practice squad or we guy is is actually like the second somebody says we i just automatic there's i've never ever and i dare anybody who hears this to come up with a time when they heard somebody say we then their team and then follow it with anything intelligent they never ever follow with it because The second somebody says we, you just know you're going to hear some absolutely atrocious takes that are not useful, are not insightful, or not intelligent whatsoever. Here's my slight pushback on it is that if I'm talking to a Niners fan, like, so I'm a nineers fan.

And if I'm talking to a fellow Niners fan and we're discussing like stuff about the team, like I might slip in a wee thing just because it just comes out as just like a form of grammar. So it's not something where I'm like going out and being like, we, I, yes, I'm this team. but like it just becomes a conversation between us. I can totally get with the like natural inclination for people to identify and it slips out. It's you know me. You've seen me when people go off on this. I go, oh wait, we?

Yeah. What, wait, you? Wait, hold on. Last week. He's just literally pulled me inside. He was like, we guy right here. Yeah, we guy right here. He's just some random guy that was there.

And he's like, here's the thing. Like, if I caught you in saying that and you would just chuckle and you would, yeah, right, whatever. Yeah. It's the people who they genuinely. are like no of course we like we're the fans like we had something to do with it is like no no you didn't that's where they lose me yeah no you didn't like because they actually take it that far as like as if they have anything to do what's going on no you you didn't cut a check you're not getting a ring you don't get to touch the trophy you're not going up for the trophy ceremony like no yeah yeah

there's no we and you know what no we it's they they won the game you rooted for them that's it that it stops at that and you know who's actually the worst for that because they feel like they actually have legitimate reason to vouch for it. You mentioned them earlier. Packers fans, because they're owned by the city, they actually, they'll have that ready in the back pocket.

They love to use that one. But here's the thing. I love that logic. I'm technically part owner. Yeah. And it's like, okay, cool. So who did you draft?

Did you pick up the phone and did you make the draft pick? Are you responsible for that Jordan Love pick that drove Aaron Rogers crazy and eventually out of town? Are you brokering from Elite Willis trade that's coming this? season. Because we know somebody's going to take a reach on that and make them their starting quarterback come September. Yeah, because they're going to trade them.

Yeah, yeah. You're just going to sit. You're just going to sit. We made a good move. Yeah. You're just going to sit and crash out when they lose in the first round of the playoffs. And we will enjoy watching you do it. All right, my pick.

I am going to go with high five dude. Okay. Yeah. High five, dude. We've all been around this either at a sports bar or if you're actually attending a game live and there's just the dude who any time it's like we picked up a first down we got a base hit we hit a three they got to just immediately be like everybody around about a year ago or so we did an episode on hey maybe don't on like just some of the most annoying things that like people do

oh yeah this also would have been like right in your wheelhouse I did a whole one on the guy who overed cheers at a bar who just like every five minutes is like hey guys cheers which is like okay that's cool when we first get our drinks First time. How great is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then like every five minutes, he just keeps picking it up. And he's like, hey, yeah.

And it's like, dude, we cheers. We're all cheery now. We're cheered out, okay? That's what I get from over a high five guy. I feel like going to the game with your high fives being like a pistol where you have six bullets. And it's like save them for when it really counts. If we got a crazy touchdown, high five worthy all around the table. I can give you.

First down for a seven-yard game, we're chill. We're good on a high fives right now. I can give you hating that guy if it's my team that's in the Super Bowl. First off, if it's my team that's in the Super Bowl, I'm not at a Super Bowl party. I'm not watching that with a bunch of others. What's your ideal surrounding for that? Me. Just me in my living room and that's and that's that.

I couldn't, I don't think I could do it. Your wife's not even brought in. She's not invited. Absolutely. She'll be there. She'll be there. She at least gets the invite. All right.

Yeah. Of course she gets the invite. All right, yeah. Well, you said, I had to call. Clarify here. You said just me. But even, even she, she's hilarious, man.

I remember I'm not a crash out guy. I'm a very like, if they upset me or disappoint me, like I'm very like, stoic and despondent. Like, I'm just very like, ugh.

Yeah. And I remember she used to, for like, when we were dating, she would come and try to like console me. Yeah, yeah. And I remember finally one time just being like, hey,

you don't need to do that. I really appreciate, I really appreciate what you're trying to do because I know what you're going for. But actually what you're doing is like, it's actually making me more upset. I don't need to talk about it. We don't have to have a conversation about it.

Just let me sit here and just be a baby about it. Because ultimately that's what it is. When it's our team, we're just being, like, I'm fully aware. I'm fully aware that it's really irrational that a bunch of like 20-something-year-old dudes who wear armored costumes and their costumes are the ones that I root for. And like how they do in their armored costumes affects my own. emotions. You know how stupid and irrational that is? There's a lot of irrational shit about being a sports fan. Here's actually the thing. If I was at, if I was at a Super Bowl party in the room

with somebody who's a diehard fan of the team playing, and this is why I, like, again, I couldn't be at a Super Bowl party if my team's playing with a bunch of people who are just casuals, and you've got all these dynamics, and you've got people who potentially want to, like, rub it in your face if your team loses. Or, like, there's so many variables. where you genuinely just want to sit down and watch that game. But like nothing kills the vibe worse than I'll throw this pick in. The Frick, the Crash Out. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The Crashout fan. That's your next pick? Yeah, the Crashout fan is ridiculous. Because like people love to pretend like, oh, I'm just passionate. Oh, I'm just passionate. No, you're not passionate. Like, you're a petulant child. Yeah.

People who crash out, especially in public places, like if you're in a sports bar. Yeah, yeah. And somebody's actually crashing out. when their team loses. That's like, I don't know, man. There's some... It gets your mind going to like, what else makes you react this way?

Exactly. That's the one thing that actually could probably entire, like kill the entire vibe of a good Super Bowl party is somebody genuinely crashing out. We've seen it in a lot of... Losing their mind over every single thing that doesn't go their way.

And it's not even like, it doesn't have to be the smashing TV, that's what I was about to say. We've seen a lot of these social media posts over the last like 10 years. I'm talking the person who just whines over like every single first down that the other team gets, every single call, like they're just,

because we all get there. We all get to a point where we whined. But you've got to catch yourself. We're all adults. You got to pace yourself. I had a coworker when I worked at NFL once who was like a diehard Jaguars fan. And I remember he was like losing his shit

in like the third quarter of a preseason game. And literally by like week two, he was like, I'm officially done with this team. I've just decided. I'm like, good. That's good for all of us. That's good for you especially because like the fact that you're losing your mind over something that happens in the second half of a preseason game,

which as any football fan knows is mostly complies to players that are not even going to be on the team when you watch the team. So like how is this actually affecting you? You'll get a kick out of this one actually. It reminded me our downstairs neighbors are like full crash out fans. Like he's a Steelers fan. Which is just... Is that the one you sent me a video of recently? Yeah.

And then like it's... And then she's a Niners fan. And she just... I don't know, man. There's a very short list of things that are less attractive than an adult. Absolutely like just wailing and losing their mind over... I don't know. Okay.

I actually... There's something funny about that that that I made a point to be somewhat that person. So I live in this complex here. I noticed they're in the World Series. It doesn't feel like anybody else here, like watches the Dodger games, because there'd be these big moments and I would be clapping as a result, and I'm like, I don't hear anybody else doing it. So that game seven, they got two outs left,

and then we get a game-tying home run. I was so hyped. I actually went shouting, I ran out here, and I actually shouted into the neighborhood. Because I was like, none of you care enough about this, and I'll let you know something just crazy happened. You all should change the channel now So that's the one time

That I actually made a point to like get out Like I ran out here shouting But I don't yeah I'm not the guy who's like yelling about a first down Or a bad interception I might give like a double clap If like that a big play happens or something like that But that's about as far as I'll go

Yeah yeah exactly I get hyped on my team There's a very different energy Between the like people who get really into something And cheer Yeah Versus the people who are just whining and throwing temper tantrums.

Exactly. That will kill the vibe for everybody in the room very quickly. But can we go back to the, you glossed over it, but those videos we have of where the guy starts bunching the TV and like they start like beating the shit out of it, that's a level of emotional instability that I care not to be around. I think in today's day and age, the way the internet works, I always watch all those with a grain of salt. I actually think it's probably more annoying.

If people are actually recording the live moment of a big moment in a game rather than just sitting and watching, that you were going to say, then the guy that attacks the TV. That's actually more lame. But the guy who just blows up on the TV and just donates one to the gods. Yeah, yeah. I feel like so many of those are set up. It's possible. We're going to pause the game.

We're going to actually go. Like the outcome, everybody already knows the outcome. It's so like, it just seems so funny to me. I guess. I have a hard time buying that people just lose their mind. That's where I disagree. I've seen some irrational sports fans and I totally believe that there were people that take it out on their TV. I'll give you an example of what I would bet most of those actually are.

They're mostly not fans crashing out over their teams. They're probably mostly people who just lost a crap lot of money. Yeah, yeah, that's possible. I would say the legitimate ones where people are really... Possing a combination of both? Yeah. Why not both? Everybody's like, yo, Christmas is going to suck this year.

Might as well, might as well throw TV off the. Yeah, yeah. Let's just add to it. Add to the pile on. I can more understand the ones when they just have like the instant reaction or like standing right in front of it. And they're like, fuck. And you could almost be like, oh shit, I want to do that.

And then they just walk away. Yeah, yeah. But the funnier ones to me are when they keep going and then they start stomping on it and like bending the TV. Yeah. They're like, fuck it. I already ruined it. I'm going all in. This TV is taking full brute force of my emotional problems that I'm figuring out how to deal with

by watching my team play a shitty football game that they had no business winning in the first place. And I knew it. I knew it. But this is how I get my emotional wrecking out. Can't let it get to you. Take it from me. The crash out in the moment is not worth it. Just hang on to the bitterness and spend the next 20 years like bitching and griping about Tom Brady

and telling everybody it was a fun. You don't have to crash out in the moment. The Juan method, yeah. All right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've seen the strategy and play before. It's fun to be around. You want to get Juan going on a 15-minute rant and a debate. Just tell them that.

Yeah, just bring up the tuck rule. The tuck rule was in place for a reason and it was a fair call. All right? I think it's my turn, right? Yes, you. I'm going to go with the talk shit on the best player guy. Okay. Now, we see a lot of these when we're at,

We attend games live. And it makes a little bit more sense if you're at a game live because they keep talking shit about the best player. Like you go to a Laker game, you're talking shit on LeBron. I feel like football, football is different. Basketball, this is more of a basketball thing maybe. Baseball has it because you could sit in the bleachers and you could just chirp. You could chirp in an outfielder the whole day.

I still think it's stupid to do that at a game live, but it makes a little bit more sense because at least you're like trying to get in their head and you're shot. when you're like watching at like a watch party at somebody's house and they like i always remember before the super bowl when uh it was like paid manning against like the seahawks when he's on the brocos and this one dude just sit down he's like Peyton manning's a fucking pussy dude he sits down on the couch that's how he starts his like appearance at this place like i'm opening with this this is this is gonna be what and i literally the second he said that i got up and i love it i was

like, I'm going to find another room to hang out in. Cool, you're going to shout at Peyton Manning all game and just let him know what a pussy is because he's playing in the Super Bowl while you're sitting. And I'm pretty sure that guy was like on some shit because the next thing I knew he was in another room and he was like watching a TV. It was like a clip of like ridiculous going on. And Justin Bieber was on and he's like, oh, check it out, dude. It's Bieber.

Ah, that's sick. And this was, like I said, Seahoggs Bronco Super Bowl. Do the math. 2013 I believe so Bieber was like what 12 at least he felt like it and it's like why are you getting so hyped jeez too i made the decision right then and there i'm gonna go watch his game somewhere else and i did when the guy in the room just constantly wants to talk shit on like lebron while he's watching a lekers game or whatever and it's just like dude we all know he's the best player like what shut up yeah you're annoying you're just find another thing to bitch about you know what i mean like

Listen, if you're going to hate on the best guy at any one thing, like, you better, like, you, you got to bring you better have a tough rule. You got to go. You better have a whole everything to back it up and you better. And you better be willing to make a turn on it because what did I do? I went, that guy, that guy went, got drunk and tried to throw. I love this about this. I tried to throw the Lombardi trophy into, off of a boat. Yes.

And I went, oh, he's hilarious. I love him. And I did a full of 180 on him. True story. Justin Herbert right now. Justin Herbert is my guy that I'm like, let's just not put the gold jacket on him yet. You know? And then if-

Can he win a playoff game first? And everybody looks at you. Like, everybody looks at you like you're crazy for having a take that's against the grain. And it's like, no, I'm not trying to do like a Colin Cowherd type thing here. I'm legitimately just saying like, let's be honest. He hasn't accomplished anything yet. Can we like pump the brakes a little bit? Let's wait until he wins a playoff game.

I'm just going to say that. Let's just wait for that. Reasonable concept. You know? It is actually a hilarious thing. The first 10 years I knew this guy. Get two beers in and wait for him to start going off on a Tom Brady rant. He was the most despised person.

And then at that moment when he won it for the bucks, which I think we both watch that game together. We did. We watched that Super Bowl together. Yeah. And there was this kind of feeling like, dude, he actually just went right to another team and won it. Like, you kind of can't deny the legacy at this point. That was pretty badass. It was the seventh Super Bowl.

Bowl that finally sold me. And he actually went to another team and did it at the first year. It's like, that's fucking badass dude. Like that, you can't even deny that. And then on top of that at the parade, he threw the Lombardi. It was the Super Bowl parade that saw that. One boat to the next. And it's like, and what my comment was at that time was like, you know what's badass about

that? He is legitimately the only person in history who could get away with doing that move. If that was like the drunk tight end, if that was gronk. It was undeniable. If it was gronk that did it even, anybody else on the team, they would have been like, how dare you. you disrespect the trophy, but with him, I was like, but he kind of earned the right to just chuck it in the ocean maybe.

But for me, it was, he made himself for me so unlikable because he was such a robot all those years in Foxborough. And then he goes to this team and then he just starts just being a cool older guy. Yeah. He's still killing it. It was that cool dead phase that he hit. He was letting himself have fun. And I was like, oh, that's who you were all along?

Okay, cool. I could rock with that. He let his stripes out a little bit. That was what did it for me. Yeah, yeah. He hung loose a little bit. All right, you're up. Okay, so I know one that I think probably,

they don't make everybody in the room uncomfortable, but guaranteed you can't ignore them. Pre-snap-clap guy. Yeah, okay. Pre-snap clap. We've all been in like a bar or at a party. There's like the guy who just claps. Before each snap.

Before the play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before, come on, let's go. Every down of the drag. Let's go. Second and three, let's go. I need you to. Calling out with the distance, down and distance.

All right, second and three, here we go. Everybody, everybody claps, right? Something in the game happens, we clap. That's a natural human instinct. But like, to stand and clap before everything is, there's a very specific, like, lacrosse bro energy of the guy who does that, right? Totally. I actually have on my list, the over clap.

It's a little bit different. I think it's in that same vein. But again, it harkens back to a memory. To the high fiver. It's a little bit different in that they're kind of in their own world. I could actually argue that maybe the over Clapper is more annoying than high five guy because at least he's trying to engage with everybody else. Overclapper guy.

I specifically remember, again, this is a watching Dodgers World Series memory I have where there was some guy over here, like a few seats down from me at like a bar. And he just kept doing that. And at first he was doing it when the other team, I think it was the Yankees would do something. And I was like, oh, awesome. I have some Yankees fan that's going to over clap at everything. And then I started doing the math on when he was doing it.

And I was like, wait, this guy's just doing it on everything. Like, Dodgers score run, he's doing it. Dodgers get a walk. He's doing it. It was literally just like, there's no rhyme or reason for his clapping. Like, do you have the over or something? Which could almost. Yeah, which almost like goes to.

All right. I'm going to come. I merge two ideas with this one, okay? Because that'll go to mind. The guy who has a specific bet he's writing on that he needs to tell you about, I'm going to also mix that with... This goes with fantasy nerd too. Fantasy bro, yeah.

Fantasy guy who's got to tell you about, like, what they need. Remandre Stevenson needs to score this right now. I need eight points to get back in front. Like, just constantly walks you through it, what he needs from his team or, like, what players, especially when they're like laying out like three to four players. I need three and a half receptions from Quantavius Baggins. Exactly. The only time I'll accept fantasy discussions is like if me and you are playing against

each other and we're in the room and we know the matchup and we have, that's what we're locked in on. That's when it's fun. Maybe if it's another person like in my league and I am aware of the matchup and everything, I'll accept it, but don't talk about it on every play. I couldn't even get with, uh, I mean like living in California, we technically not allowed to like sports bet right yeah whoever never sports gamble in californ is ridiculous prize picks was the big thing that like you could finally start like picking the over under on certain player props on price picks

and i remember when that first rolled out it was probably like a like a season and a half ago and i was like okay cool like i can finally bet on something this is cool i'll i'll do this and i remember like it sucks watching a game and having to be like catching yourself not even caring about the outcome of the game oh when you have an over under on it yeah and you just like i need i need caleb williams to throw the ball five more times and it's like that too yeah that's what i'm saying like fantasy guy does that like i can't handle that no it's an annoying thing i hate being in the room with fantasy guy because it's like i'm here to watch the game yeah i do not care that you started freaking aquanimia St. Brown as your flex.

Great call. I don't care about that. So just drop it. I don't care how many yards he gets. I don't care how many anytime TDs you sign him up for. I don't need any of that. We're here to watch the game. Right.

And I will say I fucking love that fantasy sports exists. I could watch a Bears Lions game in the dead of December, which I have no allegiance to. And I have a Monra St. Brown. So I have something to look for or, you know, yeah, my opponent has Jared Gough. I appreciate it. It's just when they overstayed it,

I've been in rooms with people where they need to remind you the two guys that they need to score on this red zone drive every snap. It's like I heard it the first time. They need their kicker to score 50 points for them or the weakest toes. I heard the guys that you're looking for the first time you said it. So it's known. It's up here. I got it.

You don't need to like keep, you know, banging on about it. That's one I feel like we've all experienced. Okay, this one's kind of a. a shoot-off of the same guy who would be doing that. I can't handle when people want to talk to you about sports. And they're the hypothetical, like, the fan, like, almost like a social media feed general manager. They just throw out the, like, most ridiculous, what, what if your team did that?

Would you accept this trade of, you know, and they're throwing- Fan-GM guy? Yeah, like fan-GM guy. I can't handle that stuff. I can't handle it. Let's not, I don't want to sit down. and talk about what this team could do or who should be the coach. Or what they did when they're like, yeah, we really fucked up

when we draft that running back in the third round in 2018. That really set us back a few years. It's just like, if it's current and relevant, cool. I'm happy to talk about it. But like, we don't need to talk about the simplest potential transactions that a team might make. I have no. Potential roster moves guy. Yeah, because an insider tweeted that they heard that there were talk.

They heard rumblings. They heard rumbling. I can't handle that stuff. Especially because those are the people who, like, find a person in the room who, like, they target as like, okay, this person knows balls. So I want to sit and talk to them. And if you're trying to watch a game and they want to keep talking to you about this stuff, they won't let you watch the game.

No, yeah. And it's so hard. Their conversation is going to dominate the room. Yeah. I guarantee you both those guys in that conversation are both we guys as well. Okay. As they're discussing, like, yeah, what we need to do is we need to focus on the O line in this draft. And yeah, we need to draft.

need to draft a new receiver that runs a sub 4-540. You know, they're going to start having those conversations. Coming up on draft season here, that's another one that drives me crazy. It's like the guy who calls in the local radio station, I mean, hey, my team has the number one overall draft pick and all Raider fans have done for the longest time is complain about the Raiders never being bad enough to draft number one overall. And then as soon as they actually get that number one draft pick, all anybody wants to talk about is how they should trade down to get more draft picks. I'm like, do you guys not realize

what you did here? Yeah, no, it's never, they're never going to be satisfied. Nothing's ever good enough. Yeah, I got a cousin of that guy, though, that I will select as my next draft pick, since we're discussing drafts. Analytic nerd guy. Okay. The guy who just ruins watching football by breaking everything down into obscene statistics. That's just like nobody, nobody needs. to look if you found some stats that you want to put on your Twitter feed to inform people have at it i'm not even going to look at Twitter anyways go let your followers know about where this qb ranks in qb are among all-time players in the afc championship game but when they're spouting shit off as you're watching it and telling you what the the analytics say they should do or like

only uh 81% of two-point conversions actually succeed in the third quarter when you're down by four. So technically they should hit the extra point right now. On the road. You forgot that stipulation. On the road. Yeah, yeah. And when the wind is blowing such.

Under 40 degrees. Yeah, yeah. It's just like those guys take all fun out of sports watching for me because they just can't get out of their own way. And when you turn sports into like a fucking calculator fest of just like nerd talk, it just makes it being like, dude, you're not, we're watching two teams of barbarians clash into each other. with incredible athleticism, dudes making wild catches, awesome defensive plays.

Like, can we stick to that? Can we keep it at that? You know, let the coaches do their coaching thing. So as you were just talking about that, you actually reminded me or made me realize something. Everybody we've talked about so far, I can't say that person will absolutely be at your Super Bowl party that you go to. I can say this person 100.

100% will be at every single Super Bowl party. The casual, who's a diehard? Wait, explain this. Right. Okay, casuals, bandwagon fans, whatever, those exist everywhere. But the casuals who will not accept that they're casuals, they have to front, like, their diehards. Yeah, yeah. Those get under my skin.

And then they suddenly pull out the jersey they got in 2003. They dust it off. They're the like the name three songs of sports fans, right? Like they walk into a room with a Nirvana shirt. Yeah. Like, oh, you like Nirvana and name three songs, right?

And don't say smells like teen spirit. Yeah. Otherwise it doesn't count. Yeah, exactly. You don't qualify. Guaranteed every single Super Bowl party will have this person who like all of the sudden is the biggest fan of either that team or all of a sudden is the biggest

football fan when they just started watching like three weeks ago. They dust off the Brett Farb jersey they got and they were in sixth grade. Yeah. Like, no, dude, I've always been a PAC fan. Let's go pack. Go pack, go. No, that guy's tough. And you do come across them at Super Bowl parties, for sure.

And that being said, I'm glad you brought this up because my next one is very Super Bowl party specific. The, I'm just here for the commercials and halftime. Oh, gosh. Person. I'm going to say person because probably you're going to be a girl. But, like, you'll find some of the dudes do that too. But, like, we all come across that. And they're the ones that I want to shush you when the first commercial start.

I just hope both teams have fun. The halftime show is going to rip. I just want to see Rihanna, you know, whatever the hell it is. Living in L.A., you definitely run into a lot of people who are more focused on the halftime show. It doesn't bother me that they are more focused on the halftime show or that they only want to watch the super. It's that they have to announce it. The announcements of it. It's the announcements of it.

And it's that as much as we're sitting here griping about all these people at a game, those are the people who will shush. everybody in the room when the first Doritos commercial comes on in the first order. And I'm going to draw a line on this one. Okay, here's my take. I'm cool with us all. Let's focus on the halftime show because the halftime show has become such an event in its own that it's arguably the biggest, like, musical performance of the year at this point. And I'm cool with that. So like, yeah, we can focus on that.

The person that needs to focus on commercials, I feel like we've gone, it's like ships passing the night in the last. 30 years. There was an era in the 90s where the commercials of the Super Bowl became like the biggest thing and everybody needed to pay attention because also back then that was the only time to see them. Yeah. You were like you got one shot to see this commercial. Your best commercials are shown up in the first quarter. They're going to be monumental and there was no like YouTube to check them out the next day. Now you can scroll Instagram. It's so watered down. They'll like pull them out before it even happens on YouTube. Like anytime I see a commercial that looks funny now and I didn't really hear it. I'll be like, I'm sure I'll see that one come up again or I can look it up

on YouTube. I'll figure it out. I don't need to like be locked in on it now. So I'm okay with like, let's focus on half time. But the commercials, we need a time that we can discuss stuff going on in this game, you know? Yeah. And the commercial is always when that happens when you watch football amongst football fans. So if you're the guy in the room that's telling everybody they need to shush when it comes to commercials, especially if it's after the first commercial break, it's like, All right, no, you know what? You can go in the kids' room, join them, discuss the Netflix commercial, the cellular.com,

whatever the fuck. Monster.com. Remember when Monster.com was like a big thing? And they, like, dominated a commercial space. I wonder why they went out of it. Maybe it was spending billions on commercials in civil. Not actually a very effective marketing strategy. I'm out of fans.

I'm out of fans. That's all you got? That's all I got, man. I think, maybe I actually like everybody else. Maybe that's what it is. You know that's not true. All right, I'll empty the clip because I just have a few more written down. Let's see it.

Let's see. I got the reliving the glory days dude, aka the Uncle Rico. Al Bundy. Yeah, yeah. Who's always, you get two beers in him. He's ready to tell you about how like senior year. Yeah, yeah. He was ready to go all county, you know, until he blew his knee out.

I feel like you run into that guy more watching, like watching baseball. I think it's a little bit of a. Between those two, those are definitely the sports. With football, it's a little tougher to pull off. Like a guy walks into a room who's 5-11 and talks about how good he was at football. Those are the ones that will do it, though. You were literally topping out junior year anyway. But that's why he needs to let everybody know.

Yeah. Google my stats. Google my stats. St. Bonaventure High School, 1997. It's on there. I'll show you the website. Here, look. Actually, I pulled it up.

Here, check it out. That sounds like it would actually be a legitimate football program, not like. It's St. Bonap's Chedra is, dude. South Torrance or something like that. It exists. We've all been around it at some point. It's the Uncle Rico. Yeah, yeah.

The... All right. This could be cut, but I want to throw it out because of our recent experience. The I'm not racist, but I'm clearly probably racist. I'm clearly totally racist, fan. I'm sure we won't run into any... Nobody will be around any of those when Bad Bunny performs. Yeah, I know.

Exactly. Nobody will be around to that. The guy who's ready to gripe about how this black quarterback is only getting all this media attention because he's not a white quarterback. And that's what the media's game plan is. And then, yeah, he's going to have a lot of thoughts on the Bad Bunny halftime show. We're not going to have a black, we're not going to have any black quarterbacks on the Super Bowl this year anyway. Where's kid rock? Yeah.

And then the last one I wrote is, oh, make some noise, dude. Make some noise. Yeah. I feel like that's only at live sporting event. That's the thing, though. Okay, so we know the guy at the live sporting event, and I can forgive him at a live sporting event. It's another one of those where it's like,

if we're at a live sporting event, and they'll be like, oh, make some not. There's a guy that's all going to stand up. I always remember. He's got the thunder sticks. Yeah, yeah. I have a specific memory of going to an arena football game when, what was it, the LA Avengers, I think?

I don't remember. Only reason I had tickets of it is my girlfriend at the time was a dancer for them, which was also the Laker girls. They were the same dance team. So she gave me tickets. I was like, I'll go to an L.A. Avenger. I'll check out arena football. They tried to get you to make some kind of noise for everything that happened.

It was so much expected crowd involved men. They were like, every time it was a kickoff, they were like, it's like going to a studio taping of a multi-cam sitcom. They were like, everybody stand up on each. They make it feel like work. Each kickoff you had to get up, each time it was incomplete on the road team. They'd be like, that pass was incomplete. They expected the crowd to get in on all this.

There was a third down one. There was a first down one. They were expecting a lot from the arena football crowd. Cue up enter Sandman when the team comes in and just let the rest do us work. Exactly. Like, we'll know how to chant it out. Yeah. But the reason I bring it up is because I specifically remember there was one guy who was like three rows in front.

of me and it would be like the kickoff and he would get up and he would start waving his arms and then to top it off he'd turn around to us and he'd be like get up support the team what are you doing he was like angry at all of us he's like support the team these guys are making $16,000 a year they need us now more than ever that guy's got a shift at chilies later all right so the point is we expect it at live events but when you get that guy at a bar or at a Super Bowl party you're They're the same guys that come over geared up. I remember one time having a watch party for like a game, like a Sunday afternoon. It was like five of us on the roof at my old house.

And my roommate at a time was like, yeah, my friend's coming and he's bringing his friend. Guy comes with like face pain and like he had like a whole Broncos hat. He had all this gear and I'm like, dude, it's like five of us watching a game. I know, I know I'm offending a lot of people. You don't need to do all that. I know I'm offending a lot of people by even saying this, but grown men in jerseys is already. It's already a thing for me too. Yeah.

Not a big jersey guy over here. Just Al Davis jacket. Yeah. For a few seconds at least now. He's got to five minutes of good Al Davis jacket wearing. You got to keep it clean too. It does need to be clean. Yeah.

I got to keep that thing close. What's the first Super Bowl you remember watching? Probably would be like one of those early 90s. Bills losses. Yeah, one of those early 90s bills losses. And I remember those Super Bowls tended to be blowouts more than not. They weren't so. A lot of fun.

Yeah. So like I didn't like sit down and it was like I was like I was with a friend. So okay, cool. we're just going to go play video games instead because like most of those games. The primary first memory you have of watching Super Bowles more sounded like something like this. Bo Jackson, running back sweet. Only play in the playbook worth playing. I think that's good for the Super Bowl special.

We talked about all the sports fans that suck and all the Tecmo Bowl touchdowns. Hell yeah. That were scored when we were not really paying attention to those early 90s. We can get our hands on that game. Does somebody make like a techman? mobile for like another you need to get our hands on here's the thing I don't trust someone to remake it because they would try to make it different it's like no I want just make that I want the one with like the halfback dive yeah and just make the original over the

middle just make the original like that turtles I don't need CGE I yeah yeah no just keep it basic that's why I don't play video games anymore I only played it when I was a kid because I just like to kept in a basic okay I respect that all right there it is everybody enjoy your Super Bowl weekend if one of those guys doesn't ruin it for you and if you see one of those guys. Tell them we... Let us know. We got beef.

Tell them the dissect DJs. Told you all this was going to happen. Everyone, you ready? This is how we send it to the Super Bowl. Next!