Dissect DJs - The Sandlot

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

The summer of baseball movie reviews continues on the Dissect DJs, as we break down the iconic 1993 film - The Sandlot!We run through this entire 90s classic that anchored the greatest era of baseball movie history, asking and answering all the curious questions that  rise along the way. Why can't Smalls throw a baseball? Why was his stepdad Dennis Leary such a dick? Was Babe Ruth really the legend he's made out to be? What was Wendy Peffercorn's deal? What is the Mt. Rushmore of stories told within movies? And as always, we hand out our MVP, Practice Squad Player and 6th Man Awards. Because heroes get remembered, but legends never die! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

And so, in a few weeks, the popcorn went to the beast. And he grew big. And he grew mean. So he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on his mind. To kill everyone that broke in. And he did. And he liked it. A lot.

You know, we love our music dissects here for the dissect DJs. I'd say we're a music first podcast. But you know something, Jag? There's something about the music. movie reviews, but I just kank enough of lately. Kind of feel like that's where our best work is. I don't want to say that. You went a little extreme with that comment?

I enjoy them the most. I'm disrespected as a dissect DJ of music for the last 148, whatever we're at. But I disagree, but I know that this is an avenue we can take to kind of switch up the music. And why not talk about movies, classic epic? We did a league of their own. Yes. I'm coming to find that we're doing. baseball movies.

That is exactly where I'm getting to. Apparently, it is now the summer of baseball here at the dissect DJs, because we are the DJs. I like to spin it, mix it, roll it back, and dissect it. And also, because heroes are remembered, but legends never die die. No, sir. They live on forever Like a fucking turtle Forever

Because it's time that we keep our 90s baseball movie streak alive And I sec the 1993 classic The Sandlot This is one of those movies That you can watch as a child You can watch as an adult You can watch as a 90-year-old man about to die and a smile will come across your face.

It really is a movie for all ages. And it's interesting because we're just talking about how we both watch this as a child and now watching it back as an adult. It's a different watch. But at the same time, it kind of takes you back to your childhood wonder because that's like what the movie is. And in the last episode, I gave a little diatribe at the beginning where I was making the case for baseball.

And I just, I guess I'm going to keep it going. mostly on the last point, which was baseball fantastic movies, especially in the 90s. Something about those 90s movies. I started running off some stuff off the top of my head on the last one. I actually went ahead and did some research on this one. Are you ready for this run?

Research, because we don't do that here. We don't do enough of that. We should do more of that, and I feel like our episodes and just general information that we give would be so much more impactful, but we don't do it. But this is a good time. that we brought it.

What do you got? What do you got? I have no idea what he's about to do. All right, check this out. Baseball movie run in the 90s. Are these all the baseball movies that happened in the 90s? Yeah, I mean, the noteworthy ones. Got you, got you, got you.

All right, so we're actually going to start in 1989 because we had Major League. And that's just one of my all-time favorite movies. I'm a look at the man's jersey. We're tribe fans over here. Cleveland represent. Who are these fucking guys? I fucking love that movie. So that forever was a favorite of mine.

Keep bats war. Also, in 1989, we had Feel the Dreams, which is just one of those legendary... Was that in the 90s? In 1989. So we still haven't even answered the 90s yet. Which, by the way, what's his name? Was in both?

The movie... Who? Who was the blind dude in the movie we were about to do? James Earl Jones. He was in... He was in Field of Dreams. Yeah. Low-key baseball legend movie actor right there.

Yeah, he comes in as Mr. Myrtle, the end of this one. Okay, so then let's get to the 90s. Now we start really cooking. And we got League of Their Own in 1992. Last episode, or one of the most recent episodes that we just did, a little re-record, which may have inspired this episode. Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.

Then we had Mr. Baseball. Did you ever watch that one? I have watched that. Tom Selleck goes to Japan. Oh, that's not even the way I was thinking about. I was thinking of Mr. 3000. No, yeah, that's like way later in the 2000s. We're sticking a 90s thing.

Did that come from? Let me see. I'll see when that came out. Mr. Baseball was a movie where, Tom Selleck goes, he's like kind of a washed up baseball player in America. He goes to play in Japan. And I have a soft spot for it because when I saw it, that was the first time I ever visited Japan. And I remember watching it just after I'd been there.

So all the like Japanese. References. Yeah, references. Like I had just seen like, for example, I remember him like trying to like take a piss in a urinal. He's like, what are you going to do the next? You're going to tell me how to take a piss? Because in Japan, the urinals are just like on the ground. You just got to like aim for that shit.

It's like a fucking carnival game with. Wait, really? It's like there's a little hole in the park. Yeah. You got, which would be good practice for everybody to grow up to figure out aiming. I guarantee you they don't have, they don't have any fucking mess problems.

But I remember like seeing that. I mean like, that's right. That's what they're over there. I don't know. Maybe they figured it out unless. Real quick. Mr.

300, 2004. Yeah, yeah. No, that's way later. We're talking about the 90s. Then we get to 93. Now we really start cooking.

You ready? So we get the sand lot, which is what we're covering here today. By the way, have we mentioned that? Yeah, I already said it. Okay.

I thought we did. I wasn't sure if we did. But yeah, say a lot. What else? Rookie of the year. Rookie of the year. Fucking classic movie. Isn't that Brandon Fraser?

No. That's the movie with Henry Rowan Gardner, where he breaks his arm. And then suddenly he could just throw like a, yeah, and that somehow makes him become like major league fastball worthy, you know. With a. At 12 years old. Gary Busey is chet. Oh, what's his last name? Way would kill me.

That doesn't know. Jason would get on me for not knowing this. He's like a... He's yelling at us listening to this right now. Yeah, yeah, because he loves this name. I'm literally going to look it up. I know it's Chet. It's Chet Speedman, I think.

Chet Stedman. Okay. Cheteman. What a classic. This is a great baseball name, especially if you're like the washed up pitcher, who's like pissed off if it gets like taken over and everything. All right.

So we're at 93 rookie year. Then we get to 94. Major League 2, which I, for one, am a fan of. I appreciate it. Where do you stand on Major League 2? It's a little weird that they take. took out, uh, wasn't Eddie Murphy, it was, oh yeah, uh, they got rid of Wesley Snipes. They got rid of Wesley Snipes. But, but kept the same, but kept the same name and like that's, that,

Willie Mays Hayes. He's him. Willie Mays Hayes is now this guy. It's like, I couldn't get, I couldn't go along with that. The rest of the movie and everything was fantastic. That annoyed me. They could have easily just got rid of me, Willie Mays, brought in another speed character and then like, this is guys, but to name the same guy, it's like, come on, guys. Here's the thing, though. Omar Epps did such a good job, like, replacing him, though. He was a great, really may say. But you're right. They could have easily just been like, this is the new one. Yeah. I always hate it with movies. They're just like, no, you're stupid. Or French Prince-Pillaise mom. Yeah. Same shit. Like, wait, that's not her. They could have divorced. He remarried.

Like, why didn't they do a couple, two episodes when it took care of that? Yeah, yeah. But instead, I have to think this is Ms. Vibb. I think this is, get out of you. Family Matters did that too with the mom. And like the last season for like two episodes. Yeah, it was, it was really bad. And it was just literally like, just don't even mention her. Take her out. She went to, like, you know. She went on a trip. Yeah, she's in Alaska for a month.

Like, whatever. You don't need to, like, just tell us. Yeah, I always hate it when they do that. I hate that shit. That's not that happened. But other than that, Major League 2 was actually fantastic. I'll give you that. I actually saw Major League 2 first.

So I had a, I always loved it, especially because it was about the Indians. And then I saw Major League 1 years later. No, I actually realized, like, oh, Major League 1 is way better. And then I watched Major League 2 again. And the thing about Major League 2 is they, like, wrap up, like, the season, like, so quickly. Like, they run through the season, super. Like, it just feels like they,

they just try to, like, rush stories with it. And anyways, we're not here to talk about major league. What else we got? What other movies? Little Big League. I mentioned this in the last... Little Big League. In the, in the, uh, a League of their own opening. I love a Little Big League. It's the one where the kid becomes the manager of the Twins. And I love

it because they have a bunch of real major leaders at the time. And I just love getting reminded of, like, 90s MLB. They got Ken Griffey Jr. is just like, the badass of the Mariners who just like fucking knocks it to the movie. That's right. They brought in real like players. Randy Johnson comes out of the pen the last game as like a surprise.

What happened to those days? We're like and there was also like the Whippy Goldberg, a basketball movie where they actually is real play Eddie. Like they don't do that anymore. You have to pay too much. You really see that. There's an exorbit amount of probably copyrights that you have to pay for that. But they used to do that in the 90s.

It was fantastic. You had actual players with actual jerseys. And they also have Carlos Baerga in that movie. and Sandy Elmar. And just like, and they're just literally, like, there for, like, montage sequences. The one thing that kind of gets me

about Little Big League is they literally use the Indians as, like, the team that I just keep beating in the montage. And they have Carlos Baerga and Sandy Alamar in the movie. And they're like, there's this part where Sandy Alamar is trying to tag him out at home plate and he keeps, like,

hopping around and he finally hits home plate. And it's a good, like, end of montage sequence. That's the one. Sandy definitely would have tagged him out. Yeah, that's the one that they do. We talked about this in episode 20, because I think it was episode 20. Just way back because they do a whole montage to Dion.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, run around Sue. We talked to, did we, I don't even remember we brought that up in that episode. That's episode 20. That's 100 episodes ago. I don't know what you want me to do. I always thought that was a cool song to do a baseball montage too. Okay, so that's a little big league.

And then Angels in the Outfield. Same year. 94 alone had Major League 2, a little big league in Angels in the Outfield. We were cooking in the early 90s, and especially like us being like kids back then. These movies are really different geared. I know during that, what was like 10? I was definitely right in the heart of my little league experience where I was an all-star every year. And like, all these baseball movies are fantastic.

And yeah. So much to love about like 90s baseball. There's just something they got in the, right? You're missing the 94. What's that? Brandon Fraser, man. I tell you I said earlier. The Scout.

I never saw that one. What? Was it good? Yeah, Brandon Fraser kills it. and then he almost blows it and then he kills it. I actually don't remember it either. I actually remember seeing the very end of that on Comedy Central one time. And I just remember seeing that, like, the story was that he struck out 27 players in a row.

And I was just like, this movie is ridiculous. I remember watching it. That was all I needed to see. Like, that was like their pal. Like, hey, he struck out every battery face. I'm like, I don't even want to watch the rest of it. I've seen enough. This movie is very unrealistic, and I don't.

But he could have given me. He contributed to the 94-year. Yeah, okay, sure. If you liked it, then I'll take your word for it. Well, they had real players, too. They had Ozzy Smith in that one. You let this fool strike out Ozzy Smith and... I don't know what they...

Is that what happened? Is that what happened? He struck him out. He spoke out Ozzy. And then Ozzy did a backflip, as he always did. It's absurd. He struck him out. And then he did a backflip?

I don't know. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? I just remember Oz's doing backflips. So anyways... It was awesome. The early 90s was just cooking with baseball movies, and the sandlot is right in the middle of

All of that. So here's my question to you. The Sandlot. More of a baseball movie or a friendship movie. What do you think? If you had to pick one, come under your head. Friendship. I think I would agree.

It's more about coming to... What is it called? Coming of age. Coming of age movie. Like, you got this kid that's transitioning from being an absolute nobody. He moved, which, by the way, at the beginning, they say they moved to this count this area in the last two weeks of school. Of school.

Bad time. Terrible time to move a kid. You guys couldn't wait for him to get done with school and do the finals. Like they took him out before the finals had him join a school. The last, how did he pass those tests? Right. Or joined friends.

I was just, I was amazed that he came to this city in the last two weeks. I guess you got to do what you got to do. What an awkward two weeks of school that would be? Just like walk around and be like, who the fuck is that kid? Is he new? Did he just show up? Did he just show up?

Literally. Done next week. Yeah. It's almost like don't even put them in the school. Like that's, hey, sit the last couple plays out. And let's just start out fresh next season. Exactly. Put some spring training in.

Do a little like recon in the summer, which is what he does. Which, by the way, his mom kind of pisses me off when like, okay, like two weeks after they get there. She's like, Scotty, have you made any friends yet? He's like, no, no, no. No, he's honest. He's like, I'm still new, mom. I don't know. Which is honest.

You know how hard it is at that age is. Like when you're five or six, you can go up to a kid and be like, you want to be friends? Which is an awkward question, but not at five and six, because the other kid would be like, yeah. And then you guys just start throwing dirt at each other or whatever happens. But at this age, he's like what? What would you say?

He's 10, 11? Yeah, he says he's like ending fifth grade right there. Or like he's starting fifth grade. Something around that. So he's around like 10 years old. 10, 11, right? Yeah. So, yeah, man, that's that's that weird point where kids are starting to get a little more mature

and a little more talk shit. And it's hard to make friends at that age. I would be like, mom. Get off my dick. I made an amazing erector set. Yo. That ball clip and hit you in the fucking head. That is gangster.

You guys are the one that moved me out in the middle of the last two weeks of the school year. And now you're going to get on my balls about fucking making friends. Come on, man. Come on. I do want friends. Obviously, I want friends, Mom. Yeah. And also stop talking shit on my science project.

This shit is going to pay in the future. You're really going to discourage it? You know how much parents nowadays would love it of their kids? building science projects fucking rude goldbergs that could just fucking move for a ball from this way to this way

and then just like flip a ball and like red at her mom's head and he was all apologetic and shit out of like mom did you see that shit? That was awesome! That being said Scottie's mom kind of a baddie.

There's the kind of stuff that you don't realize when you see it as a kid then you watch your back as an adult and you're like, but the stepdad? Scott's mom kind of get it. But the step dad? Dennis Leary? Dude.

What a dick! have qualms with Dennis Leary that I want to come over. What a dick. First of all. Okay, so you're jumping into this family. You're like, you're inheriting this kid as like your stepson. He clearly wants to learn how to catch. This is a situation that is something I could imagine happening at this point.

And I realized, you know, I was like, okay, if I was in his situation, I'm trying to like break bread with the kid. I want to become like, all right, let's figure out a way I can connect with him. Scott, he's doing all the heavy lifting here. He's like poking his head. Dad, Bill, I mean, Bill, I mean, dad. I don't know what to call you, but I'm trying. I don't know.

And then he keeps just asking him to play catch. Literally the easiest thing. He's not even asking you to take him to fucking go get pizza. He's not asking you to go take him to me. He's like, can you just throw catch? And he's just like. And he's just like, he's just like. He's just like.

He was like, he said you would teach him how to play catch. He was like, yeah. Yeah. So can we do that? Like, he's like, yeah. He's asked numerous times, doing you have not gone outside for at least 10 minutes. How long it's take the? Whatever.

work you're doing, first of all, wasn't on a computer. You had time to knock it out. You could stay up late and do what you need to do. Shut up. Do you go play fucking catch? What is wrong with you? I haven't had numerous step parents in my life. And this happens. This happens. They try to make food for you that adds extra pepper to your macaroni and cheese and I fucking hate your macaroni and cheese. Anyway, I'm going off. No, I got a lot of Dennis Leary's thought. I feel like we'll go back to him because it's going to come up.

But I do want to start at the beginning. Oh, we're starting. Okay, I thought we were going off on there. No, we will. I promise you Dennis Lary, Spoutage will definitely come back. Because, yeah, that guy kind of not really making an effort over there, stepdad. Almost none. He really is almost making.

Virtually none. Like, the fact that the kid is, like, fucking trying his best to, like, you know, build a bridge there. You have a Babe Ruth baseball. Your kid's looking at it in all, and you're not like. Let me tell you about the babe. You know what this is? No, he's just, like, looking at him. awkwardly get out of here and then he puts it up and he's just admiring it like you're

scotty goes through the whole movie without knowing who the babe is which for one i'm not buying how would they they make a lot of reference to what a legend the babe is at this era yes and the fact that he doesn't know first of all anybody should know at that point but also your stepdad has this ball that he obviously like admiers as like his prize crown jewel you're telling me not one time he was just like let me explain who the babe is he just literally that just shows you know what I think it's kind of like a 60s dad thing

I think that's kind of what he's reping it's just kind of like a hey I got work to do you watch after what I'm done get outside and play I don't care yeah I'll teach you out of catch but not now yeah and that's always gonna be my answer I got work to do

I'm right up against gun you know and then the mom finally finally gives him a little hint and they go play catch alright we'll cover the catch see that I can make peace I can make peace with the fact that Scottie couldn't catch because that's not something that's just like a natural

Like you just gotta keep his eye on the ball A little bit Yeah, but like I could understand The fact that he is his attempt to throw Is literally like a fucking little like underhanded Like what are you lawnballing? Well first he runs it over and hands it to him Uh here

Eye on the ball okay? Yeah All right here we go Okay Just need a bigger glove Pro it back to me this time. His first throw is he literally like underhand, like drops it. He pulls it.

And he throws it like less than two feet. Get the fuck out of here, Scotty. Come on, man. I've seen some unathletic kids in my day. I used to play Little League back there. Every kid at least knows how to make, and his first attempt at throwing with the kids when they first see him, and they're like throwing the ball over.

It's like, how hard is it to actually do the acting of throwing, man? Now throw it accurately? Not as easy. But to just launch a ball 20 feet, more than 20 feet, it's not very hard for a 10-year-old. Everybody knows how to throw something. The very fact that when he finally learns how to throw, all Benny has to say to him is,

ever had a paper route? Hey, you know how you throw papers? He went with a guy once. Just do that. What was that? He's like, oh, I helped the guy once. Like, well, you're on the bag of the bike? How does that even...

What a random guy? Godmit, Scott, are you a bitch in just like every area? Yeah. Like, he couldn't even do a paper on yourself? his hat? Who? Where is that hat? He was just like on the back like, oh, that's how you do that's how you do that.

And then he had this long excessive build hat. This stupid hat. Where do you get that hat from? Apparently that's a fishing hat or something like that. From what I've, I did have a little fish on the back. Yeah, because you want longer so you have a bigger shadow or something. But still, shut up. Get a better hat.

Take Benny's advice. Benny, who gives a lot of great advice and is a very fatherly figure to all the kids in this movie. If there was one piece of advice that I 100% agreed with him. is do you have a furnace? Okay, cool. Burn that hat when you get home. Bring a t-shirt and jeans tomorrow, okay? Oh, yeah.

You got a fine place? Throw that hat in there, man. Oh, yeah. You know, it was the only one I had. Not anymore. Throw my old hat. Which he doesn't. He had it as an adult.

Dude, why would you bury that hat back up? And he wears it to his job. As an adult. As an adult in a MLB state, like he's the announcer. You walked into a major league baseball stadium as the announcer with that hat on. And nobody smacked that shit. Like, they should have taken that revoked your rights to announce that game right then. Like a jet, man.

All right, we got to get to that. Let's actually, before we get to the very last seat, let's get back to the beginning scene. We haven't even started the beginning. Hit it. Okay. So the very opening scene, I had absolutely zero recollection of. Oh, were him walking into the stadium? Oh, yeah, I remember.

I didn't remember that happening at all. I remember that. A movie starts off really boring. I remember that as a kid. I was like, that's fucking, I fast forward a minute and a half. Yeah. Now we're off and cracking.

It doesn't take long, but it's just like, who's this guy walking into like a baseball stadium? Like, I didn't remember that. I know I had remembered that we end up finding out that Scottie ends up being a broadcaster. But I didn't know that we start the movie with that. And he says this line that,

honestly, I was kind of like miffed by. I don't, remember what is this uh he says uh there's a lot of great moments in sports but there's one all-time great moment in sports history and i was immediately just like heavily debatable this is going to be hard i see what you got here because there's a lot of great moments in sports man i could i could i've seen fucking countless in the last 20 years alone but for you to say there's there's just one answer to that and then he says what and then of course it's the old and by the way there's no even footage

of it, the story of the babe pointing to the outfield and then he hit a home run. If this happened, it was bottom of the ninth, two outs. He calls his shot and smacks it, which the tying, just going back to this, the tying run was on the basis. Does that mean that he won with his home run? Here's the thing about this play. I feel like it's heavily debunkable. There's different stories about it.

And that's the whole thing with the Babe era, which I think actually correlates with everything in this movie it's a lot of lore everything in this movie is a lot of kind of like childhood wonder and like stories you hear about and that's i think why the babe is the center piece of this movie is because so much of what his career was is like stories of like greatness and you're hearing about like this wonder what do they say uh he's less than a god but more than a man like this guy who like couldn't possibly live up to the words that like are told of him But because he played at an era where there wasn't really much cameras showing what's happening, it's a lot of just like stories like hereby, hearsay.

And the footage they have of the babe is him doing some happy Gilmore swing of the bat. There's no chance. Everybody's like he's the greatest player that ever looked like. There's no chance he hits a single ball from any of the pitchers nowadays. I'm sorry. To me it's more when you see him run the bases and he has a little like trot. A little trot. Yeah, exactly.

Like people like to think Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player. Michael Jordan could play in today's game and said any, any era Michael Jordan could play in. So I'll give him credit. Babe Ruth has zero chance from like the 70s on. Definitely 90s on. Am I, are you the Greens here? Well, it's the kind of thing where it's like, okay, well, if the babe played nowadays,

like he would have the... Smoking and drinking and shit. It's like he would have... He would also be matched up with today's modern day training. He would probably be in much better shape than he was back then. Like, it'd be a different area. That's why it's hard to like compare eras. but the way he's talked about at this point in the world,

which, okay, by the way, I always wondered what year this movie takes place. You told me you didn't want to tell me, you figured it out. How did you figure this out? We know exactly, by the way, and you bet you don't, what year San Laugh had taken place because they never mentioned it. And I was guessing early 60s, according to the music, which, by the way, the music's fantastic.

We'll get into that. And according to clothes and everything that was happening, I was like, this has got to be like 1960. 1962 It's 62? Yes, because he says at the beginning He's like, the summer that I first met the guys It was the greatest summer of my life

It was the summer that Mori Wills broke the record for stolen bases So as me like pause that Google, what year did Mori Wills break the stolen base record? It's 1962 Which was then confirmed At the end of the movie when the dog is running around town There's a point where they like run through a picnic The dog runs through a picnic

and there's a banner that says like America, 1962 or something like that. I missed that banner, dude. Oh, that's good. I know. So we just watched the end of the movie together, and, like, I caught that, and I was like, oh. So in case you were wondering, when this took place exactly is 1962. The summer of 1962. The greatest summer any of the guys ever had.

So then we immediately cut to all the kids playing. And I'm immediately like, the clothes these kids are playing him could not be any worse clothes to play baseball in. So hot. They got their like quarter air or jeans on. They're like, they'll have like a button up shirt, which by the way,

they give small shit about like, or Benny's like, yeah, wear a t-shirt next time. But in the opening scene, they're all like wearing, like, wearing shirts that you would wear to like church.

They all got like their, their converse, their Chuck Taylor's on. Which. Worst athletic shirt ever. I don't know why, how, who Chuck Taylor ever convinced

they had an athletic brand? Who is Chuck Taylor? I don't know, look it up how I tell us. They had to run all the way into the 80s. They were his commercials with Magic Johnson and Larry Bird for Converse advertising like the same Chuck Taylor's that like they were wearing all the time, which has no ankle support. And then even at the end of the movie, when Benny takes out the P.F. Flyers,

it's the exact same fucking shoe. I was like, am I going crazy? All it had was a logo that said PF on the side. and guess what I looked at those closely I got those same fucking shoes right here I got the PF Flyers

cast I was there where'd you get those I need to order I don't know I ordered them you know they don't have the PF Flyers

I bet you can get the sticker I literally just got a sticker I'm gonna look up the sticker at that shit right here PF Flyers sticker same fucking shoes that Benny pickled the beast in right here

and I can tell you I've worn these they're the least comfortable least athletic shoes I wouldn't even I wouldn't even go on a walk to the beach in those

I can get you a PF Flyers sticker you could slap them on there Boom And you have yourself Some PF Flyers Guess what? They're still slinging PF Flyers

Jason literally just texting me What I told him I were doing a sand light He's like yo I wore my PF Flyers Last Friday So like I guarantee He had a pretty penny for this He has the actual

PF Flyers Well I'm sure they've made it A more updated model But they're still hustling people Based on Benny the Jet Rodriguez Pickling the Beast Going off name value alone.

So real quick, Chuck Taylor, 1917, began manufacturing one of the first basketball shoes. In 1918, he's wearing non-skids, which basically had a rubber sole. That's what these are, yeah. And it was a forerunner of the Commerce All-Stars. And the Converse All-Stars, honestly, it was just good name-branding because they kept the Commerce All-Sars thing going, like, into the 80s. They were still selling that as a basketball shoe. A bird was representing that.

Yeah, you know his ankles. They were not wearing that on an NBA game. No way. But you know what? You saying that like 1917 thing, by the way, I totally forgot to bring this up. But as I was looking up, baseball movies in the 90s, I saw this. This was interesting. The first ever baseball movie ever made, you wouldn't believe how early this goes.

You took a guess. Okay, so baseball, 1980, Chuck Taylor's. I'm going to say 1918. 1898. What? I didn't even realize film went back that far. Or, like, I knew, like, baseball was kind of thing, but, like, the recorded baseball era,

that's about as far back as it goes. The ball game, and it was just a very short, like, a little film was, like, literally a minute of, like, a guy, like, running from first to second. You know, I mean, back then it was basically, like, we just picked up, like, a minute of this thing happening on the camera, and it was like, that's all I got. Yeah, I got you.

Silent film. It was called The Ball Game. I thought that was fascinating. First ever movie about baseball. 1898. Talk about historical bullshit right there. So, oh, here's one. What's the deal with milkman?

I just see that clip when they first showed the neighborhood, and there's like milkman delivering. Oh, yeah, that was a normal thing. I know, but why? Why was milk something that was just delivered from, like, house to house? I just feel like milk's not something I want sitting outside. Okay, if you're there, great, but then they would just apparently leave it on your doorstep.

Like, I don't want milk just chilling in the sun. Yeah, it'll turn to, like, cheese in like an hour. Just get your milk at the store. They had stores back then. Why did the deal? Why was there just like a happy milkman with his like white hat and white suit? What did that stop? When did it start?

Real quick. Going back to Chuck Taylor, he played his first game, he substituted for another team in the final three minutes and didn't score a single point. Wait, he was like a player? Yeah, yeah, he was a professional player, a semi-professional player, and he got, and he was part of the Akron Firestone Nonskids and all this other shit. But then he switched into, in 19-converse. Awesome shoe salesman. Yeah, he was like, but still he sucked. And his name lives on to this day, isn't that crazy?

It's like, if you think of the two most famous names associated with shoes, it's like Michael Jordan, Air Jordans, and Chuck Taylor. And Chuck Taylor was a shit player according to everything I'm reading. How is he up there with Jordan in the pantheon of? It was just the first one to wear a shoe, and everybody was like, that's a nice shoe. So everybody else was just like barefoot in it? Yeah, wear shoes. You should wear shoes to play any sports, unless you're swimming.

I don't know what they were. What were they wearing boots? Like, who the, anyways? But yeah, Chuck Taylor, I think we're done with Chuck. I just want, I was astounded as I was. I think we got enough on Chuck. I was astounded as you go. But yeah, I'm going to get you a PF Flyer sticker for your shoes because I'm going to get me a sticker.

And I'm going to rock those because those are classics. I would actually probably wear these shoes. These shoes have been in the closet for a while. If you gave me the PF Flyer sticker, I'll probably bring them out a little bit more. Okay, so let's go ahead and get to the point when Smalls finally meets the game. so he's just hiding out in the outfield watching them just like scouting and then he finally has the his the way he like literally approaches he just kind of walks in the outfield and he just kind of starts being like yeah yeah i got this i got the next ball nobody knows me and then they finally

like hit a ball over to him and he's like oh i got it and that's like his in right and it's like okay cool this is how you make friends with this is like it's a good way to do it so many so many instances of like the first interaction you have like kids you grow up is just like, oh, I had to go get a ball, and they threw it to him, and then we started, like, talking. It doesn't know what makes sense. But this team goes off on him. He's an L-7 winning, bro.

Did you see how he threw the ball, though? He gets, like, two feet of, like, air on it, and it's just embarrassing as fuck. They all start laughing at him, which at this point... They drop to the ground laughing, too. They go all in on that laugh. Honestly, Smalls kind of deserved it. It's like, how do you not know how to throw a ball

more than, like, a foot? But here's the thing. I've seen this a lot in like TV when it comes to like sort of like bowling moments. It's like sometimes you just got like own it and just like make like just call like, yeah, I know I suck. I got to learn. You guys got to help me. Yeah, you got to teach me like, yeah, I fucking don't know how to throw.

Look at my glove. It's like a rubber glove that my grandma gave me. Plastic. Yeah, yeah. It sucks. Yeah, but I want to learn. Like what's your guys names? You know, you like, you could overcome it.

He runs away and essentially it's just like, oh, ruined forever. I saw another moment like this recently. Do you ever watch Cobra Kai, the series? No, that's your thing. I got into the first season, but it's like six seasons even out. Fucking, yeah. Love the Cobra Cuy. Yeah.

There's like an arc that literally starts with this, like, character who's still to this new season that's starting, he gets bullied and he becomes a bully. His name's Kenny, it's a big main character. I think it's like season four or five. It literally starts like the first time you see him. He's like, young kid, he's like all, like, just excited, like, starts cool. He's, like, dancing. He's waiting at the bus.

stop and he's just like dancing he's like listen to headphones he's like dancing he's kind of dancing like a nerd a little bit bus pulls up and then all the kids are like laughing and he turns around he sees him he's like oh my god they're watching yeah and he gets out and he walks on the bus like this and it's just like okay can you listen oh that bro bro bro you were the one that went to the bus stop knowing the bus was about to fucking pull up you're the one deciding to dance like a fucking mania. Okay, so once you do that, you can do that, but fucking own it, man. All the kids are laughing at you. You'd be like, ah, just be like, that's what I do. That's what I do. He couldn't use the bus as a sole train line as he went down and kids would

have been like, okay. Oh, you don't know how getting it down. Like the very fact that like, as soon as they all saw you and you immediately just dropped your head and you're like, I'm embarrassed. Like you gave it to him. You're done. They're going to attack. And that whole season, yeah, and that whole season is just a story about he's getting bullied and then he becomes of course, like he learns karate, then suddenly he becomes all fucking mad. He's a badass. He becomes a big player in the whole series. And he's always angry in like the next few seasons because he got bullied.

But it's like, you could have fucking shirked all of it. If you just owned it, you're the guy that dances. You're the guy that dances. I dance like a fool sometimes. Trust me. I know this. Justin made a fucking living out of that in college, dude. I went straight to karaoke and that's how I made my name in fraternity.

I was like, you know what? I'm singing Keith Sweat Twisted in front of my entire fraternity members, 30 men. That's right. 30 men. You know, you know. If the first time Justin dance, he, like, in front of us, if he just was like, he ran away. They would have hopped on me like a bunch of fucking hyenas, bro.

We might not be friends now. Yeah, but instead, I was like, guess what I do. I'm Puerto Rican. Have you not seen it? Unapologetically. Straight up. You seen my jersey that I wear every day? This is Baricco?

Yeah. He just was, like, unapologetically him. I can't believe, real quick. I can't believe I sent Keith sweat. Well, why don't want I picked that song? That was a great song. You were the only one that appreciated it. Well, because you did the whole rap when they didn't put the lyrics on the screen.

That was what I appreciated. It just said like, thinking about that way. Yeah. Yeah, it said instrumental like breakdown. And like he was just like, no, I know the rap. They don't want to put the rap on the screen, but I want to do it anyways. And then he was like running around the rest of it. And to this day, I'm a karaoke.

I do karaoke weekly. That's a gangster thing to do. If like, you know the sign part and you're like, wait, this part isn't even on screen. He's going for it. Killed it. Yeah. Yeah. I was that. So I pre, thank you.

Yeah. I literally with Key Sweat, when it was CD, rewound it, listen to that part, rewound it, and got that whole thing, rap figured out, and then remembered it all the way through college, made an impression on Castle, and guess what? And now I know all the words. Oh, dude, that's all.

Oh, yeah, no, I figured it out. As soon as, like, you started playing, I was like, no, I got to fucking put this on my iPod or where the hell. Was it my shuffle? And then it became a regular at my rotation, and then I fucking got that wrapped down. could still with you right now. We're now.

We're going to talk about Sandlot. Yeah. Which brings me to fucking Bertram. We should do twisted though. We should put that on the list. I think we did that already, didn't we? Did we? I don't think we did.

It feels like an early thing that we did. We'll look it up. Maybe it was like a three things episode. I don't know. Bertram, hearing him say they don't want smalls because he's a geek is rich. Bertram. Look at the fucking mirror.

He's the kid with the hat with the glasses, the one at the end where they're like. Oh, squintz? Bertram. No, no, not squins. I mean, like, a few of them have glasses. Burtrum is, like, very unnoticeable. He's just, like, the nerdy kid with glasses,

who at the end, when they're like, Bertram got really into the 60s, and then nobody really slow again. Oh, the tall lanky kid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that brings chew. Yeah, chaw.

And they all go nuts on the carnival. Which, by the way, that actually does make you dizzy like that. That's not something we're going to do. I've only done that once. And my goodness, it was not an interest. Well, I remember Dip being a thing. you like college but the only one I ever saw bring chaw around was a Sean O'Donnell special I remember being proud of it being like nah it's cha yeah more hardcore than all you guys

I was throwing a fucking huge fucking lipper in there by the way on that scene where they go to the carnival and they all start throwing up somebody directly ripped one of the other off I was actually gonna wait now look it up but uh you ever remember the movie problem child yeah we got red hair. There is a scene identical to that. They're at a carnival. The only difference is instead of like kids being sick because they took a bunch of Shaw in Problem Child, it's because he's a problem child

and he starts speeding up the thing and he's mad because he's too short to get on. And then like it's the exact same thing. Everybody starts like throwing up on the thing that spins around. Problem Child was in 1990. There you go. Sandlot ripped him off, man. Classic scene though. Classic scene though. Anyway, go back. We had to talk a little bit about how Benny is

just like the G. man like he is such a stud he's clearly like two years older than all these kids he's a little bit older but he he also like kind of as like a father figure to them literally they go to that carnival and he's like that's um me guys and it's like did you do you have a steady job that we don't even know like I think we're playing baseball day you mean it's on you like and literally the next scene they're all like does anybody have any money to buy a baseball and they're like no they never do like Benny yesterday you just said it's on you like we're just like I got all you kids get in there, he little scamps.

But also, he immediately is able to figure out, you know, what Scottie's weaknesses is. He's like, I want this kid on my team. I want nine. I want to bring him in. Everybody else thinks he's an L7 weenie, which, by the way, do you know what that means? Just, no. You know, Oscar Meyer weiner or something like that?

L7? You're doing it right now. Yeah. He's a square. Oh, square, but that's a rectangle. Yeah, it's a square. That's a rectangle like a moment. Well, because, you know.

I have to, like, there's no way I can make this anyways. Well, call him. I'm calling him a rectangle, it makes a little bit less sense than calling him a square. But that's what Squints was getting at. Benny just kind of looks out for him. He's like, you know what?

I'm going to help this kid out. He throws like a damn jackass. And he catches even worse. He literally has a way of catching just by doing this. So he tells him. Go back to that. Can we give Benny so much props?

He tells him to put his fucking glove up in the air and he'll do the rest. And he hits a perfect slap shot of a ball. Oh, rope. He hits a rope in the deep left field. Deep left field. With Scottie doing this. Closing his eyes saying,

please catch it, please catch it. And it falls right. Fucking right on target. What a hit. Dude, that's almost an impossible hit. It literally is.

It's like, you have to be precise. The top major. I would actually love to see an All-Sar game week challenge where it's like, get boring because nobody would have hit it. Who could hit the target?

Nobody's hitting that. They call it the Benny the Jet Rodriguez challenge. Like, can you hit the target? Yeah. And then just see how close you could hit it. I'd be curious. Every time I'm like, gee. What a hit.

And in that single play, literally Smalls wins everybody over. And then randomly, like, suddenly can throw. Maybe because Benny just told them like, yeah, you just throw it like the way you throw. You ever throw a baseball? You sort of like, you know how you throw a newspaper? Do that. And then just let it go. And it's like that, that alone, the fact that the explanation is like that basic shows how ridiculous it is that Smalls couldn't even throw a ball more than a foot.

True. So yeah, Benny's a G. He wins him over with that. And then Smalls, you know, he pretends like he knows like the Bambino, even though they're like, you don't know the Bambino. And he's like, oh, I thought you said Bambino. Yeah, no, of course. The Colossus of Clout. King of Crash, all these names.

It's kind of interesting to think that like the Bambino. Bino still had, this is 1962, he played in like the 20s and 30s. He still maintains this figure as like the king of baseball 30 years after he played. So I guess that'd kind of be like, that's sort of like what Jordan would be now.

Yeah. To kids growing up. So. He played till 1935. So this thing is going till 25 years later? I think it speaks to what I was saying earlier about like how a lot of his era is like lore and like

stories passed down and like these great accomplishments that can't be verified. Like I was saying earlier about the called shot. First of all, they didn't even try to do that right now. They're getting a fucking ball in the earhole immediately. There's a disrespectful as shit to do. Which is weird about baseball. But anyway.

Yeah. But also I've heard, I've seen, there's like some grainy footage of it. And it looks like maybe he's just doing this. So maybe he's like just pointing or he's like talking about like the wind blowing. I don't know. It wasn't like the clean like point imagery likes it to believe. But that's a thing. Like Major League.

Like he did on Major League. Oh, yeah. And then Bunny. Jake Taylor? Yeah. And what happens to him? They fucking brush him back. Then he gets back up and he does it again.

It's like, do you and dude? And then he bunts. The slowest player. Weird play because he's a catcher. He has like no knees. And he legs it out still. Fucking ridiculous play. I would do a week.

We should almost just keep the summer of baseball going. We just turned our podcast and like the baseball movie reviews. We have done. all the baseball movies summer at 2024 rookie of the year get it in here yeah you know what that's what we're doing i wouldn't mind yeah because these are fun so the babe was like the star that like they all like reference to as like this legend and i think it speaks to the time of the fact that didn't have any reference of exactly like it's not like now would you just pull up like a youtube highlight video and be like oh bj armstrong was a problem and they could just be like a crazy like hype package

of it but smalls goes home and now he's like now i got to learn baseball and this is a different time you can't just go google shit on the internet like teach me about the great bambino he goes and writes a notebook right and he puts down things i learned about baseball on the very first line he writes the great bambino question mark and i see that and again i'm like fucking dennis leary you're right there you got your trophy room with all this baseball stuff this kid is like desperate to learn about the history of baseball. He doesn't even obey Ruth. Who the fuck's fault is that?

Whose fault is that? Step dad? It's kind of Scotty's fault, too. Like, Scott, he shouldn't fucking, well, listen to a game on the radio. I hear a story told here and there. But yeah, come on. Like, all the time you're trying to get him to play catch. He's got this ball.

You could easily be like, hey, dad, I mean Bill? I mean, dad, can you teach me about the great bandbino? He'd probably be like, eh, you know what? it's almost like it doesn't help that as Dennis Leary because like his whole thing became like I'm an asshole like he's literally his biggest like comedy gimmick was like he has a song called I'm an asshole like his whole thing was like I'm an asshole so when you see Dennis Leary being the dad who's like kind of like nonplussed by this kid it's like yeah but does he teach him how to fucking throw a little bit about Babe Ruth he's getting him clowned on by his friends all the day

Which, by the way, that reminds me of the fact that there's so many moments with these kids that just reminded me of why being like a kid was like a pain in the dick. It was like, all these kids will find any fucking reason to make fun of you for some shit. They're at the clubhouse. He's like, oh, sorry. My mom made me wash the dishes before I came over there. They were like, oh, yeah, do watch the dish. Well, first you made it put on a jacket. Yeah, and it was like.

What? How long does that take to you? Why did that take you any time? You just had to put on a jacket. The washing dishes, I can understand. But why did you put on your jacket before you started washing the dishes? It's like, what is not ragable to kids at that age? You could be like, I got to do homework.

And I'm like, oh, he's got to do homework. He's worried about his grades at his learning potential. What an L7 weaney. You'd be like, I got the mail. Oh, that's definitely made. Oh, where'd you go right now? I wouldn't have got the mail. Like, oh, he cares about the only form of messaging that we have in this day and age.

What an L7 weaney. You'd be like I gotta take Omega Via multivitamin because I care about my growth and focus in memory And they're like Oh, he cares about his growth

And focus in memory Fucking hell seven weighty Kids suck man The very fact that every single time They try to like reference something Like Smalls is a goofus Plenty in this movie, okay Don't be a goofus

Don't be a goofus Don't be a goofus He has many times You clown on him for being a goofus But I kind of hate the way that they're constantly Clowning on him for shit that like he just doesn't know Like they've referenced the beast And he's like, what's the beast?

And they're like Smalls, you're killing me And then he... I do love the dad joke of Smoors They got the smores And he calls right into it. Smoor's seat and he's like, what's... Sorry, I'm like,

My mom made me put on my jacket And then she made me do it. You made you do the big fat tautish. Hey, you want a smore? Smore what? No, no, you want a smore? I haven't had anything yet. So how can I have some more of nothing?

You're killing me, smalls. How could I have some more of something if I didn't have anything yet? You're killing me, smalls. Classic line, by the way. Also, this is the movie, which I feel like is the case for a lot of kids, taught me what smores were. True. A lot of...

Honestly, he would have asked me if I wanted a smore. I'd like some more. I would have said the exact fucking thing that he said. Again, it makes sense that that would be the response to anybody who doesn't know what the fuck of smore is. So maybe instead of being a jerk about it, just be like, oh, and he does, but you'd be like, I just how he makes s'mores. And this is how we all learn. Although I will say, you got to melt that chocolate a little bit. A little bit more to melt needs to happen.

You can't just, like, have the straight. They got the kid in the back. I'll take one of those. Yeah. Yeah, like you were saying, this takes place in that tree house, which is an epic tree house. Epic tree house, which is just outside the beast's house, which means one of the kids lived close by, just an observation I made. Or did they just build the tree house?

Like, they were so into this sand lot. They're like, we could build it. They are ingenuitive. I don't know. There's no parents in this whole movie other than like Smalls and his dickhead stepdad, Dennis Leary and his hot mom. Like, we never see anyone else. There's no reference to get like they're just literally going to this tree.

Who suck clearly? Because you know how I. Somebody built that shit. I know they suck. First of all, they took him out the last two weeks of school, which is like, let me finish my fucking school. Second of all, on the July 14th. scene, Benny has to come to the house

and be like, come on, we've got to go. And so he's like, oh, okay, I'll get my stuff and leaves. They run out the house and him and his family are doing nothing on their front lawn. The mom is clearly inside because he goes, Mom, I got to go, I'm going to go play. So mom's inside. The dad's probably doing a fucking work inside. He runs out, and

everybody else in the neighborhood has tables out, has fireworks and are enjoying the 4th of July, but his parents fucking suck and are inside. At 730, because it's already getting dim and the fireworks are going on. your parents suck smalls there's a reason why you're not very able to cope with the times and we're an l7 we're an l7 bro and it's not your fault kind of is but your parents didn't help

yeah and they had an epic set up for fourth july man everybody had like tables out and they oh we used to do that for my family like growing up oh it's awesome we cut off that we blocked the streets and there was a neighborhood party it was perfect dude i still want to give a fuck there was always that one family that was like we're not doing it and then their house would just be empty it was like fuck you that was the smalls fam Smalls fan for sure. But back to the tree house, and then we get to the epic, which I actually think that this might be the best scene in the movie.

I think it might be my favorite scene. What is that? We get squints telling the story of the beast. Right? I love the way he starts telling it. First of all, it harkens me back to, like, you're a kid, and, like, somebody would tell ghost stories. They always had to have the flashlight thing.

It reminds me of, are you afraid of the dark? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the Midnight Society with, like, the, wow, there's something about, like, telling ghost stories. Everybody gets in this. He was good at it too He honestly was good He told the story before

All the other ones have heard this story And they were fully enthralled Like there let's hear the story He's good at telling it man The way they show the black and white footage Of this story as it's unfolding And it kind of has this like almost twilight zone feel to it And I love the way the dog

The Beast is like this horrible puppet That's like huge And it's just like It's 10 times bigger than any dog could ever be It reminds me of the twilight zone Because like you watch some of those episodes and they might have the effect of the monster and you could like see the strings

and it's like some like terrible like puppet but like everybody's got to act scared of it and my favorite part of that is he killed 120 178 people and like he just adds an extra 58 people to a story just as a drop of a story as though it's a statistic 120

my ass started laughing immediately when I heard that then he got big and then he got mean and then he started to eat people And he liked it. The beast was the most perfect junkyard dog that ever lived. A true killing machine. But after a while, the cops started getting phone calls from people reporting all the missing thieves.

The ones the Beast had killed. It added up to about 120, 173 guys. It's true. Everything about the way that story is told. In fact, I'm going to do this. His uncle, was that his uncle that is? Yeah, it was like squid, my uncle, my grandfather, he's my grandfather, Squidmeier, potatomis or something like that.

He has some shit. He has the chain all, like it's scared. Mustache. Mustache. Okay. How long do I have to hold him in here for? Forever. Which in that scene, he explains that he was locked him up for 20 years, which comes to the fine, and when the beast and they start chasing at the end, the dog is at least 22 years old.

crazy to think about. Old ass dog. And he lives to 196. I'm going to do the math right now while you're talking. Yeah, they said 190 dog years.

That's like 28, I think, in like actual life years. I don't know if I can't do the math. And it was like a English mastiff or something. Like that dog could never live that fucking heart. Yeah. Eight at max.

That's not going to find. It's not going to find. Maybe he had a healthy life in that little like backyard. Yeah, 28. Dude, you're fucking good at math. Also,

by the way, that yard. Okay. This yard, It's like a giant bold English Mastiff, whatever That is owned by a blind man 100% that like little back area Covered in shit

There's nobody Oh there's nobody picking up that shit He's got a blind man That's got that guy's been blind since he was Right around 30 Because he got hit with a ball Why he was fucking baseball in which we find out at the end So he's been blind at that house forever

Okay Forever forever So guarantee he stopped worrying about picking up that dog shit A long time ago Unless he's got like someone that comes by that does it for him, but it doesn't feel like that's the operation they have to. Oh, there'd be so much shit back there.

I think I'm lucky up. I imagine that. All right, so that brings me to this. Here is my all-time Mount Rushmore. Of? Movies that have stories being told in them. I don't even, I don't have one of these, so you're going to have to go off.

I know. This is the castle. Go off. All right, so number one is Squintz telling the story of the beast. That's top. You're putting him at the top. That's number one. That's like the Abraham Lincoln.

All right. Stone right there. Yeah. My one issue with it is that I wish that there was a little bit more of them mouthing the words as Squintz is telling the story. Maybe it's just like in this day and age where I've seen drunk history a lot, or that's like what drunk history is where they have these actors like literally like mouth exactly what the words of the drunk people are saying.

And it's a hilarious device. And I wish they did it at the end with forever. And that was funny. But I feel like they also could have done it when the guy's like, how long is he going to be locked up for? Not quite. It's not an exact. He's sort of saying... Which, by the way, that's not even the guy. I know. It's weird because it kind of looks like him, but it's almost like it's sort of like their imagination of what he is and what he looks like.

Because when Mr. Myrtle asked the cops how long he had to keep the beast chained up like a slave, he said until... Forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. So that's number one. Number two, Brian from half-baked retelling the story of killer. And he didn't want to fight his brother, but they made him fight anyways. You have to understand who killer the dog was. I just love anytime like a story like that a movie plays you the visual of like what they're doing.

He was bought by this man, Tito Libowitz. And they like showed this like sketchy dude with... Show the scene. To understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now, Killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Leibowitz. He's a small-time gunrunner and Rottweiler, fight promoter.

So he puts Killer into training. I see, No, Killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had to fight of his life. Pit him against his brother, Nibbles. And Kiel said, no man, that's my brother. I can't fight nibbles. And he made him fight anyway.

And the killer, he killed Nibbles. And killer said, that's it. He called up all his fights. And he started doing crack and he freaked out. And then it in a rinked out. What was the number three? The three is just like a personal one for me that is just a movie that I love. He got game.

I love when Denzel is finally getting a hang out with Jesus Shuttleworth, okay Ray Allen, his son and he's telling him about how he got his name Jesus and he's telling him the story about Earl the Pearl Monroe and there's it's really just because I love like Spike Lee style directing it's very much like a style that you could like see like you could just jump in on a movie and just be like oh this is a Spike Lee joint. I can tell. My all-time favorite ball play was Earl Monroe. Oh, the pro?

Yeah, he was nice. See, everybody remember from the Knicks, you know, when he helped win that second championship and everything like that. But I'm talking about when he was with the bullets down Winston-Salem Stadium before that gave him 42 points a game the whole season, 41.6. The whole season. For the Knicks, they put the shackles on him, man. You know, on this whole game, they locked him up like in a straight jacket or something.

When he was in the streets of Philly, the playgrounds, He was like, ha. You know what they call him? What? Jesus. That's what they call him, Jesus. Because he was the truth. Then the white media got a hold of it.

Then they got to call him black Jesus. You know, he can't just be Jesus. He got to be black Jesus. You know, but still, he was the truth. So that's the real reason why you got your name. You name you Jesus after Earl and Monroe, not Jesus in the Bible? Not Jesus of the Bible. Jesus in North Philadelphia.

Jesus of the playgrounds. That's the true son. The way he dished, the way he's, you know, he's spinning. You know how you do? Coming off, all that. Yeah, I've never seen that. I have seen that, but it wasn't a very big movie in mind. Do you got to rewatch it, man.

It's such a good, the score of the movie, the Spikely Direction. All right. As a lover of basketball, stories intense. Like, it just, I, such a good. So can we say that 2024 is going to be baseball, and then we'll switch to 2025. It'll be some basketball movies.

Oh, I would love to do. do he got game yeah there's a lot to talk about i think you need the love of basketball's another class you haven't seen that movie in a long time i would i would suggest to what was whoopies eddie eddie i never actually watched it we got to watch that so next year's based next year is basketball age of basketball 2024 is summer of baseball though and 2026 will be football little giants okay all right game but no but the very fact that spike lee has this footage of like earl monroe that is so clean and it's like literally the actual 60s footage and you're like how does quality of video exists from that timer.

It's like awesome. So anyways, that one's just a personal favorite of mine. Number four, I'm going to go off the board a little bit. Not really a movie, but still just a storytelling that I just love so much. And I know you do too, is Dennis from Always Sunny explaining the Dennis system. Oh, yeah. Mostly because it utilizes that device that I was just talking about where they mouth the words as he's telling the story, where he like goes in and then max there.

I did not. Welcome to hell, bitch. We should use the effect on that. I don't know if you have the effect available. I think I do. I think I do. Wait a minute. I turn that on.

Welcome to hell, bitch. This will frighten the shit out of her. But I mostly love how there's a part where he walks in and Max sitting in the living room. And he's like, I can't go to my room because I saw a spider in there. And then he's like, well, I guess you could eat this pizza in my room and the girl's like this pizza's good and Dennis is like you're the one that's good

and then he just started like making out I don't know watch the Dennis and him out You know what and I'm gonna throw it in right here Yeah you see I'm on the couch when they come in and ask to be alone And I see I can't go into my room because I found a black widow spider in there And then Dennis fires back that he wants some privacy So that they can get to know each other more better

And then I say Oh well I guess we could always eat the pizza on my bed And watch the DVD in my room And once we're on on my bed. It is game over. I engage her physically and the sexual waltz begins. Pizza's good. You're the one that's good. So, food stuff, very classy. I'm learning a lot from you right now, dude. So that's my Mount Rushmore of stories told within movies slash a little bit of TV show.

But if you want to give another one that's a movie, just the whole movie of Forrest Gump. Any scene, pick a scene. That literally is all just him telling a story in that movie's epic. And I love it. So there you go. Some more. Russell Research on the Sandlot podcast. I came with joints today. I came ready with it. Real quick, did you know Benny D-2,

Mighty Ducks, I was telling you about that. Then he did one other movie called Chicago Hope and then became a firefighter for the rest of his life. Really? So was Chicago Hope like a firefighter show? A 1997 episode of Chicago Hope.

I have no idea what Chicago Hope is. I don't either. It sounds like, well, there was a Chicago. You don't need to. It's a show that was like one of those shows where there's like action

and people have like traumatic. Yeah, I thought I would see a lot. You would think at this time you'd buy a lot of Benny stock. He'd be like, look, he was a good little star. I mean, he was a stud in this movie. You come away from this movie being like, you know what, I kind of want to be like Benny.

Chicago Hope was a medical, like an ER, like prior to ER, apparently. That makes sense. Real quick, as we continue, I would like to give a shout out to David Newman. Do you know who this is? I do not.

David Newman was the composer. Oh, that's right. Yeah, he composed this movie. Yeah, it's Randy Newman's brother. And put together. all the music and my goodness did he put together some classics. I mean, each of these songs hits throughout

the movie perfectly. You got the, there goes my baby. Right when squint's kisses. Then they got America. Wait, wait, wasn't that this magic moment? Is that the same song? Is it? The same song.

Oh, well, I just noticed that. I might not be. Oh, there, you're right. This magic moment. The next one. This magic moment, you're right. There goes my baby is when he first sees her. When he see her. When he sees her walking out of the street.

America the Beautiful, which somehow we've forgotten it. We've got to do next 4th of July. I mean, it's just America the Beautiful. It's just like a... Yeah, but it's a classic. It's not really dissectable song. It's the true... It's one of the main...

When Ray Charles sings it, it is legendary. But I don't really think it's like a dissectable. It's just kind of like a... It'd be like dissecting the national fucking anthem. We could. We could get into that. That things always confuse me, to be honest. I veto that.

Sounds like a boring as fuck episode. You know what? It would make me feel more. Never mind. I don't even want to go. Green onions. What's that one? Here, just put it on.

Put it on. I don't have a... No, I'm just saying, I'm talking on the recording. You'll play it right. Yeah, but I always said like... You'll play it right now. And then you got tequila. Was that when they were like throwing up?

Yeah, that's the throwing up. A wipeout. That's when he's running from the east. The music is just perfect for all... It is a lot of songs that are just kind of... the nose. It's like literally, this is kind of like

the most obvious song for all these scenes, but it works for this movie. But it's really not because you had to go back and understand music from the early 60s to be able to hit the perfect points

for all these. So David Newman, thank you for that. I'm not sure what else you did as far as apparently he did Galaxy Quest, Serenity, Ice Age, and the Phantom,

whatever. The Sandlot was your greatest collection of music. Absolutely. I appreciate your score on this. How about this question? Which kid and the squad? do you think sucks the most

Is this one of the awards or just? Should we hold off on this? All right, let's just keep running through the movie. Yeah, we're almost done because we got another. All right, well, then we get introduced to Wendy Peffercorn. What is Wendy Peffercorn's deal?

They did such a good job. Casting. What a perfect cast for that. Yeah, but also, I swear to God, Wendy's got at least 10 years on them. I mean, these kids are like 10, 11, 12. She looks like she's like 20. No, no, I'm giving her her.

18 because that's an 18 year old job 18 to 20 year old job She has been there for a summer according to them Because she's Wendy Peppercorn So I would say she's 19 19 they're 11 So she's got a seven eight year thing Which at that age is a lot That's not a small age difference I mean you look at even our age

You're like oh she You're looking at Squintz and Merit Look at Squintin fucking Wendy Peffercorn That's then now That's then well not now I don't know what year that was But that's them older Yeah see now the age gap would make sense. A seven-year gap between 19 to 12, not a cool aged app, not all right.

Also, not really alright with the stunt that squints, pulls. Doesn't age well at all. Not a good age to well. And what makes it even worse is like the narrator goes into overdrive right then after he pulls it. You know, at first it sounds like he's on the right track. He's like, what he did was vile and it was disgusting and it was awesome. And then he just goes on for like the next 30 seconds about like how it made Squints a legend. They're like, he kissed a girl long and hard.

Michael Squintz Polidorus walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low and cool. Not another one among us would have ever in a million years, even for a million dollars, had the guts to put the move on the... the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman and he had kissed her long and good.

It just makes me wonder how many dirtbags saw this as a child and immediately were like, I got to try that. You know, that would actually make sense. He might have led to a lot of assault cases and a lot of sexual assault. They really kind of big up to sexual assault in this movie. But here's what I was noticing. How hilarious would it be if his whole game plans, falls to shit because the lifeguard that pulls him out of the pool originally is the guy lifeguard so what is really How much funnier? I feel like if the movie was made now That's what would have happened. They would have been like he's like Wendy save me and then the guy's like I got this and then he immediately throws him on the deck and he's the one who goes right in for mouth to mouth You're gonna be a right little dude

I honestly probably would be like yeah it would be a way funnier scene. You know what I mean? And it would have aged fucking tremendously. I think that that's what it looked like was going to happen. So she's Marley Shelton, by the way. And she had a successful career and she had Miss Sin City, never been kissed,

Pleasantville, bubble boy, rampage. You know, nothing crazy, but she was still in the industry all the way up until 2018. Here's the thing, though. Wendy's got a solid nine years on them, seven years maybe. She is not shutting it down at all.

She's playing into it. Even from the first time we see him staring at her on the street. And then even after he pulls that shit and he's like staring at her from the side of the awkward here? It's like who's the predator here? You're playing into a way too much Wendy Pfeffercorn. All right? They had nine kids too, man.

Then they end up married. When he finally got in there. So he had to get her, let's say he got her at 18. She's 26 at that point. She must have went through a couple, you know, at that age she might have went through a marriage and then it was a divorce. I mean, back then in the seven. It was like you get married and they just fucking pop out kids. She started late with the kids, right?

Yeah, how old was she when they had to? At least 26. I hope so. At least 26. So she had nine kids from 26 to 38 or something over the next fucking eight years. Usually you start, because my grandmother had all five of her kids before 21. Wow. All five of her kids.

She was turning 21 on our fifth. I know, dude. What? What? Right? Is that crazy? Dude, generations previous are so fucking bad. So crazy.

My grandfather was 19. she was 14. I don't want to say anything weird about my grandpa because I loved him, but my goodness, Grandpa, come on, man.

But again, different times, different ages, and then they got married immediately and they started popping out kids. They started having it at 15, 16, she had a miscarriage,

17, 18, 19, and then 21, she had a five pet last kid. What? Can you imagine having five kids before 21?

Can't imagine having five kids now. Having one kid by 21, dude? Anyways, phenomenal. Put an nominal statistic for my grandmother. I must give her. For some reason in that era, they really

like just being like, have another kid. Especially Puerto Ricans, apparently. My great grandmother had 14 kids. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Some kids are getting neglected in there, man. There's no way that you're actually like on top of 14 kids the way.

No chance. Well, all the kids start taking care of the other kids and it ends up being in action. Easy process. Once you get past four, now you have you have nurses and fucking babysitters ready to go. So you almost.

want to keep them going. Yeah. Especially if you work on a farm, which we had a farm, my great-grandparents, all the kids would work on the farms. Now you had employees. So you're basically just boning to have employees. Kind of cool, if you think about it. In five, six years, it's cool.

I don't want to think about it. It doesn't make sense. Doesn't sound cool. But I don't want to. I know my ass is going to root. You can call them kids, but they're going to work for us. We need another hand on the farm. Let's have another kid.

Yeah, that's what they did. It's not even kidding. But yeah. he'll be good to go in three years. We'll hand him a wrench. I'll know what I was doing. Had him a wrench? Anyway, okay.

So we got Wendy Pepcorn. We got the sexual assault case. Sexual assault case. There was a trial. Squints was acquitted. And then they had nine kids. One thing I've noticed that, and we called this out prior to talking, is that this movie kind of has three scenes.

It's three, no, like three chapters, basically. Three chapters. You got him joining the crew and getting into all the kids. Trying to become friends with them. Then they got them beating the shit out of a team. Stage two is then, like, them as, like, a team and, like, they're hanging out together. Carnival. They have that matchup with, like, the random other baseball team that all has uniforms going on.

Who show up in their uniforms at a random, like, at all times. They're wearing their uniforms at all times. And then they have the little standoff. And here's a question I have about that. Was it movie talk? Was it just, like, movie script talk? Or was back in the day the insults just, like, way more, like, g-rated and stupid and, like, didn't make sense? Because they're going back and forth.

They're like having at it. And at one point, Hambino, Porter, he says, You mix your weenies and your mama's dough jam. And it gets a huge pop from the peanut gallery over here. At that point, they're all like,

at that point, the satellite crew was like, whatever he said, they were going to just go, D. We plan a real diamond porter. We ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats. Watch it, jerk.

Shut up, idiot, moron! Scab eater, butt sniver, pus liquor, fart smeller! You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek. You mixed your weas with your mama's toe jam! Yeah! I would be like, no wait, if I was Phillips right there, I'd be like, explain that, what does that mean?

I make weenies in my mom's toe gym. How does it make any sense? Explain that one from me. I need to understand what that means from to back. And then the ultimate, where he completely wins The battle. You play like a girl. Stop the scene.

Everybody stops. And then it's just like, you play ball like a girl. What did you say? You heard me. It's like an anchorman when Veronica and Cordenstone says, you have stupid hair. And he's like, what did you say?

What? Exactly. Couldn't believe it. And at this time in age, you can't do that. You wouldn't be able to do that. Apparently not. would be rated less on rotten tomatoes. Definitely another line that hasn't aged with modern society.

But then it's like it's on. Now we got to throw it down. Our field tomorrow. And then they just go and whoop their ass anyways. They beat the fuck out of them. Because Hambino's back there fucking getting in their heads the whole time behind home plate. On top of that, Hambino is not only the catcher, but also the umpire. Wait.

Did you not notice that? I think he was just calling strike through just getting their heads. Like, because right before the pitch comes, just like, strike through you out. and the kid misses. Yeah, but there's no lump. Yeah, I mean, it's like playing basketball, like, three-on-three without a ref. Like, you kind of call your own fouls. I know, but I've never heard of a catcher call.

It's a strike every time. It is a little bit different in baseball. You kind of need it up because, like, the strike ball thing is, like, you need somebody unbiased to be. You just say strike every time, dude. But he's more like just talking shit. I remember back then I just thought that that's what catchers do. Like, catchers just, like, are there to, like, just talk shit the whole time behind the plate. I had some kids talk shit a little.

So yeah, I mean, I think... His shoes untied, that was a classic. That one part of what he's like, is that your sister in left field? And she's naked? She looks like she's naked. He's like, shut up! He's like, hey, I'm just playing the game. I'm just trying to have a friendly conversation.

Do you should go out with me? You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards. The heater. Mr. out there in left field, naked. She's naked. Yay. I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation.

The shit talk, it reminded me of a hook, though. Like, the way they're like that. Exactly. Yeah. So it makes me wonder if it was like just, was that actually ever a time period? Because nowadays, kids would just be like, you're a fucking piece of shit. And I will murder you with you stead. I will bear you six feet.

They'll be listening to fucking hip hop. Fucking like taking their cues from what they, they're just way more accessible to them nowadays. Hambino was the lead off batter, by the way. Why? They had Benny. Yeah, but they put Hambino a leader. And he hits a lead off. run to start the game.

That's gangster. First pitch out, and it was the first pitch. He slams it. Slams, and then they all start hitting base hits and fucking killing them. They all hit the gaps

of every single, like this. I don't know how they became such epic hitters. They learned from Benny. Yeah, but Benny was the only one hitting the whole time.

He was teaching them how to, like, aim. He's constantly coaching them. They beat the fuck out of them. When you look at that game, they beat the absolute crap out of those guys. Kind of reminded me when you said

he, uh, Ham hit the home run. There's that one scene earlier where he hits the home run. It's like an epic like them playing He's like, here comes the heater, Danunis. He's like, he points, he points it. Yeah.

And then he misses the first one, and then he's like, ah! Ha ha ha ha. You'll be sorry. Want the heater? I'll keep it to him, you idiot. No, he can't play no more. Great, you. I like it.

All the kids are so mad at Ham, and he's just having a parader on the bases, which by the way, smalls, that's how it's done. These kids are trying to hate on them, they're trashing them, And he's like, yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm the game. Just how I like it.

Yeah. That's how you fucking do it. Kenny from Cobra Kai. You fucking just own it and be like, that's right. I just hit a home row. Why are you all so mad at me? I'm the fucking best. I'll show you.

I'm going to find another 90 cents. By the way, that actor was in so many movies. Not really. I thought I would see a lot more. You know what? He was like Jonah Hill before Jonah Hill was Jonah Hill. And the world just wasn't ready for him at that time. I feel like if he came along,

like a decade later. He would have been like in a rom-com with like a way of attractive, more attractive actress and shit. He would have basically done the Jonah, because he's really good in this movie. That guy's like, he's kind of the one that like you come away from the movie being like, that guy was kind of the funniest character in the movie. His name is Patrick Rana, by the way. Patrick Rina. And I'm sorry, he was in classic movies.

He was actually the only character in Sandalot 2, which fuck Sandalot 2. I've ever seen it. At least they got him back in there. If you were going to get somebody you, should get him they got uh they got the sandlot then they got the big uh the big green where he was a soccer goalie remember that one oh i do remember that one yeah okay yeah he was also in son-in-law we were talking shit on that one recently the son-in-law son-in-law that's what's his name we were just making fun and yeah polly shore yeah we had a whole uh polly shore conversation

hating on polly oscar well he deserved he deserved to fade it was just like he deserved to I felt like I was taking crazy pills in the mid-90s because I was like, that time he was getting movies like every six months, starring a role. And he'd just do the same bullshit all over time where he'd be like, uh-tip-le-l-be-oh-a-huh. And it was just like, I remember being a kid being like, this is annoying as shit, right? He's annoying.

Like, am I crazy? Why is he, why is everybody being like, no, Polly's yours, move? And then all of a sudden, the rest of society collectively agreed with me. They were just like, they just booted him. Yeah, you know what? Actually, Pauli Shores is knowing his fuck. Get him out of here.

So now he's on. And he never was on any movies. By the way, Patrick Rennett is now on a TikTok where he has viral TikTok videos. I've seen some of his TikToks lately. In the last, like, years or so, suddenly I've seen him pop up. I remember seeing one where, like, him and, like, his boys were all dancing the different football themes and stuff. Yeah, he's finally decided to cash in on Sandlot success by being like, let me have a TikTok thing. Yeah, three million followers.

Fans still love him after 30 years. I'm glad that the society. society didn't leave him for dead. I could tell you this, though, I'd fuck him up. If we ever tried to fight or something, I'd fuck him up. Why are you always... What's saying? It's good.

I never even didn't know. Just declare violence when it's completely unnecessary. And somebody that did deserve it or earn it. Fight me, Patrick. Fight me. I don't know why I want to fight that. Anyway, it does remind me, though, of one of the best scenes that he has, though, is when they get to the pool and he's, like, walking by the ladies. Oh, yeah.

And he cannonballs him. Hey, sexy ladies. And he cannonballs into it. remember you. Oh, sexy. Hey girls. Absolutely reminds me of spring break one time when I met Kyle did the exact same thing. Minus the like, hey, sexy ladies.

There was a bunch of girls that were laying out. And I felt like I was feeling one of soft. He does. First of all, my thought when Ham did it, it was like, there's no chance his splash would be that big. It's like a fucking monsoon wave that lands on all those girls. But when Dunn did it, he was like a fucking solid 200 50 pound dude the way the splash was that big and I remember watching it and all these girls were

tanning out and he just decides to walk up does a monster cannonball I don't even think he realized it but I watched all the girls just being like oh my god and done just goes right to swimming laps only wanted to pull it's big gray he just starts swimming in life big djee does his thing man no question epic so we're talking about act one was like small trying to integrate into the group Number two is like them kind of playing ball. Well, them playing ball, the carnival and the pool scene.

And then act three literally just becomes about them trying to get this Babe Ruth baseball back. Which, by the way, nobody gave small shit when he had a home run. I guess because they were shocked by it. But he's like, you're right. They were like,

great job. Well, it's because he hadn't done it before. Because I guess, yeah, they were like, he went from being shit to like hitting a home run. So.

Yeah. And even like, him's like, see, I taught him everything. Yeah. So then the whole last. part of this movie just becomes them it's literally like 30 to 40 minutes it's 35

minutes of them just trying to figure out ways to get this ball back right and they go through everything they're doing the ingenuity solid ingenuity in these kids man so many they first start with a stick then they put a pot on the stick then they go with like a vacuum they use multiple vacuums then they come in with a rector set you can't gloss over the fact that the what keeps happening is the just grabs it. They're like, he completely shreds

whatever instrument they've used and then every one of those instruments chucks it over the fence just to let him know what's up. This dog Yeah, he destroys the erector's smart as fuck.

He's like, not only got to destroy it, literally good armor on that fucking dog. The dog has a fucking throat. Multiple scenes. Well, real quick, can we go to the vacuum scene? I don't know if you people have noticed this and we're going to show you

right now on the YouTube, but there is no vacuum because there is a string, black string that picks up the ball into the thing. I didn't know this until I saw all the TikTok about it and then I saw it today when we watched or whenever we watched it, there's no vacuum. It gets pulled up. I can't fucking believe it. It messed up my whole childhood. It's bullshit.

It's just called Hollywood Magic, Jessum. Well, they could have done it. He was so impressed with that discovery. He texted me about it last week. Did you know that there was a string? I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I will be a string is attached to the baseball and get sucked in. Look at it, people. You'll see the black.

My issue with the vacuum scene was more that, like, it ends up exploding. And as they're like, oh, my God, it's getting out of control. We need to get out of here. And they're literally sitting right in front of the three vacuums that are like this. With an off switch. Right there. It's like, then just turn it off. I don't know.

But instead they like all like, they're like, we need to bail. And then it explodes in the treehouse, which should have set the whole thing on fire. but instead it just covers that one kid in smoke who never had any words and then suddenly comes in with this like poignant diatribe where he's like, we need to start thinking like the beast

I blame myself. It's like who's this kid from? Who's that Tommy? Tommy and Timmy? One of the twins that repeat themselves. They all just say the same shit. It was irrelevant. It suddenly just comes out of nowhere

with this prophetic monologue. Like his lungs are fucked from that whole situation. He's like, I know what we need to do. He's talking like fucking Marlon Brando over here. Then they get, yeah, yeah, to go flying over the fence. Who had the ball in his hand, and then just fucking lets it go. You could have thrown him already. Just toss the ball.

Just toss the ball up. You're right there. Fucking yeah, yeah. But very ingenuity, but then the erector set of the catapult. And then the catapult, the dog catches it midair. Awesome. Looking like fucking King Kong. Yeah, yeah.

I love how the dog's size just switches back and forth between regular dog what we end up seeing and fucking king Kong like that like all the clips before that and it makes you wonder like okay was this sort of imaginative on the kids but then there's multiple moments where it's like this is really happening he's really chucking the erector set yeah how does that thing get chucked over he's really catching the ball looking like fucking king Kong like is this a dog or a monster is it a piece what the fucks at that point yeah Because then, Benny finally gets visited in the night by fucking Babe Ruth. Who is who?

Who is who? Art LaFloor. And they make sure and let you know. Who's a classic that guy who's just, you see them and you're like, oh, I've ever seen that guy. I know there's shit. You know, like he's probably in some bobser movies and stuff. I think he's in field of dreams. I feel like he was in that movie with Jonathan, Taylor Thompson and Jeffey Chase.

What was it like? The movie where he's like his stepdad. I feel like I remember seeing him in that one. Out of all the, you know, you would. think Benny's going to be the top rate on the cast at the end or even Smalls, right? No, yeah. They make sure in Pimpoint that the Babe was acted by... The first thing that it says in the credits is like

Arla Flores the Babe. The Babe. It's like he was in one scene. One scene for a minute and 30 seconds. It doesn't even really look like the bag. And he jacks. He jacks and... Jacks Benny's Hank Aaron. Hank Aaron. Rookie card. He's like, hey, he might have had like the fucking dirtbag, babe. he's like hey well I'm here this looks like it's worth some cash smoking cigars in the house

no big deal I'm taking this I'm taking this Legends never die and I took your cards I feel like this black asshole is about to beat my record I gotta make sure I hide all his cards around town I'm clearly racist because I was in the 30s and he tells him the legendary words

Heroes I remember but legends never die and he's like I know what I need to do it's really what they should have done on the first Actually, what they really should have done and just knock on the fucking door. It should have done that for sure. Squintz tells them that's not possible.

But I feel like once your fourth contraption with all your fucking science ingenuity gets destroyed, it's like, all right. Let's cry uncle. Let's just knock on this fucker's door. How bad could he possibly be? Although it could have been, I remember being a kid and be like,

no, you don't want to check on that door because they won't like us. But. Where are you? I mean, at this point, just fucking you're knocking on the door. Go knock. Guys. It's an important ball.

There's a reason why you're knocking. you haven't bugged him in years. It's okay. Go bug him. So Benny finally just decides to go in there and pickle the beast and get it from himself. And I got to say, of all the unrealistic things that we've seen from the beast, all movie, the way his size switches back and forth from being King Kong to regular dog, to the way he's able to destroy anything that even comes there.

He's constantly blowing smoke, making fucking T-Rex sounds. The most realistic thing that happens with the beast is that, When Benny goes to grab his ball, he's going to chase after that motherfucker. Through the entire town for a mile and a half, at least. You ever have a dog that has a ball, that he brings it out like that? And you run and grab it, guess what he's doing? That's his ball. He's chasing you for it.

He's looking at nothing else, dude. You have his ball and he's after it. And then all of a sudden, this 22-year-old dog has the ups to jump off the chain and jump over the fence. And by the way, once he's thrown the fortitude to do that, He's chasing down Benny in like five seconds. There's no chance that Benny's out running this dog. But instead, he chases him for a mile and a half through a theater, through a carnival, through a, knocks down a big ass cake.

By the way, I just love that back in that time, any scene that involved a chase of some kind that was just going through his city had to inevitably involve a bunch of like old-timey bakers holding like a five-layer cake, which only happens in movies when there's like, it's just the whole scene felt. 20 years I've seen one five layer cake. It felt like something that you would have seen in Beethoven. In fact, if we watched Beethoven right now, I guarantee you we'd see like a scene almost identical like that. Where they're like, oh, oh, oh.

And then, of course, there's also a man on stilts. That's the other thing they're going to find in a scene like that. Who has to fall? And then are we supposed to, like, laugh at the fact that the bakers get cake all over their head? He did everything right. They fucking protect. They baked that shit. You're supposed to be like, ah, I guess I got fucking chef hats.

They deserved it. Now that Homeward Bound had the scene where he's eating. cake. Homeward Bound absolutely feels like a movie that would have that as well. Dude, Beethoven was a huge dog. Anyway. Yeah, he's almost as big as the beast. Real quick, can we go back to a Benny and his shoes, which he takes off a pair of P.F. Flyers. To put on another P.F. Flyers with a sticker on it this time. Took off a pair to put on a pair to keep on some fresh ones. Yeah. He was like, these are the shoes you need to have for this run I'm about to do. Does it dope sliding grab?

Oh, yeah. Benny's sliding grab was gang-up. Slid, grab, and had enough energy to then take off and get back. It was a good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was money. Got to give him credit on that. And then the jump back over, when he comes back, jumps over and does a front flip and lands on his back. Back body drop onto his back. That is such, we've all done a fall like that.

Dude, that's. Your breath is gone. He's not getting up from that, but it gets up, obviously, because it's a movie. No, he's to get up. Okay, so then the fence falls on the dog, and Smalls is the only. one who's worried about the dog and so it's amazing how your fear for the dog immediately goes concerned that dog is a great actor the second the fence is on it you're looking at it you're like oh he looks so sad now help him out the only one that cares

about him is small and he's like somebody help and all the kids just stand there like oh yeah the only one that comes is and then fucking bennie who's been fucking running all over town who just got back body dropped into the yard he's like all right dude that was a huge i want to see how they acted that like i would love to know how that was filmed for him to land that hard on his back. Like, it didn't seem like there was a betting or anything on the bottom. I know, yeah. He just took it like a champ.

What a scene, man. Anyways. But yes, gets chased, lift him up. Benny, after a mile and a half, sprinting the entire time, by the way. This wasn't a jog mile. He was all out sprint for a fucking mile. Still has enough energy to help and help the dog out. Then the dog gives him all their balls back.

Yeah. He's just been kidding. He was just like, so this dog, it's just been wanting to, like, play ball this whole time. Like, I just feel like the dog. I just feel like the dog just becomes like a completely different animal, like, which is like, okay,

was it what the kids were seeing to begin with? Or is a section? He was like, come out and play. He held their ball because he was hoping they were throwing him. He threw it to Ben. It is like what Ambrosius would do to you. If like he had a ball in his mouth,

he would like spit it out and be like, yeah. So then they finally just decided to go knock on the guy's door. Then they meet Mr. Mertle. Fucking James Earl Jones. James Earl Jones. Baseball movie legend. Who,

has there ever been an actor who so easily goes from like terrifying and like, you don't know what's his deal to like suddenly smiling and laughing and just seemed like the friendliest man ever you know who hands them a ball with not only babe ruth's name but also all the names from the 1927 team which could have been jacked from him and somebody else could have wrote a bunch of names on there right he's been blind for 40 years well not 40 years 30 years 30 years he's like george oh yeah i knew george and george knew me and he's like let's make a deal you take this but you have to come and talk baseball with me once a week. And they're like, deal, easiest deal ever.

I'll trade you. That's really nice to you, but that ball really is, signed by Babe Ruth. So is this one. With the rest of the 1927 Yankees. Where's Ro? Lou Gehrig? Babe Ruth! I don't think we could take this ball.

I'll tell you what. You guys come by here once a week and talk baseball with me. We'll call it an even trade. So real quick, let's put yourself, I'm small stepdad, right? Put yourself in his shoes for a second. Okay. You come back home from your work trip to Chicago or whatever, and you find out your goofus stepson,

he swiped your Babe Ruth ball and lost it to the beast in the yard because he decided to play fucking baseball with it like a goofus. And then he comes back with you. It's like, okay, I got this other ball. that's been signed by the entire 1927 Yankees. And all I got to do is go hang out with a man who lives on the other side of the fence of the field and go over to his house once a week. And he says that I can keep it.

It's yours. I'm just saying I have some questions if I'm Dennis Leary in that situation. I'd be like, hang on, wait. The dude wants you to do what? You have to go to his house once a week and then I get to keep this ball. What is the interworkings of this relationship? Because I'm missing something, Dennis Lery didn't care.

He was like, okay, this is my ball, though? Good. And I don't have to fucking play Catcher D anymore. Awesome. That's all he gave a fuck about, dude. Solid. Stepdad sucked. I do feel like they sort of just glossed over the whole reason

that James Earl Jones would, like, they danced around it. Like, he's like, oh, yeah, I played with George. And let's be on. Like, why wouldn't he be able to actually, like, play with Babe Ruth. They didn't really let black dudes in the league at that time. And it's like they almost get there with it. He's like, ah, he would have had as many home runs as me except I was. And then Squintz jumps in and he's like, oh, but you're blind? And he's like, yep. And I was like, wait, you guys were almost there.

Do you be Bruce? George? I sure did. And he knew me. He was almost as great a hitter as I was. I would have broken his record too, but You was blonde Yep Like I feel like they're just like brushing over the fact You're right Yeah yeah It's just like

You're right because who was the first player The first player was Jackie Robinson Which was what year? That was in the 40s It's like 20, 30 10 15 years later Yeah yeah So yeah he wasn't even playing then

Yeah so I guess back in the day They used to like Barnerush Some of the Negro leagues in the offseason They would like play together So it's possible that Babe Ruth would have known him And they would play some game like Puerto Rico There's no chance he was in the league I got you But yeah he wouldn't have been allowed to play major league baseball

And like it feels like it's sort of like reference But they never actually like talk about it They just talk about how he ended up blind And that's so funny that I forgot that Yeah because they do a good job just kind of like Remember when we did a league of their own we talked about like There's a slight knot of the cap to like the Rachel bigotry That was happening the time

Just that one part where like A black woman who's just like not in the league. Launches the ball. Launches the ball. And hurts the girl's hand in her head. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it.

And they're just like, okay, so that was the thing. That was, I don't think about it. Back to the league. Back to all the way made. They do a good job glossing over that because I completely forgot. Oh, yeah. There's no chance you played with George.

Different era. So they, yeah, they didn't want to like spend too much time about it. But yeah, if both those movies were made now, they would definitely be like at least a diatribe about it somewhere. Oh, man.

What a fucking movie. So then we get to the final scene. We just got to talk about that. We're back in the now or the 80s or whatever it is. Now Benny's a major leaguer. And Smalls is the announcer, which I immediately like, why isn't Smalls like a fucking scientist? How did he end up being a baseball announcer?

He just fucking learned who Babe Ruth is. He managed to go all the way to like age 10, not knowing who anything about baseball. I can see that, dude. He fell in love with baseball from that point on. Here's my issue with it, though. What? He's the announcer for the Dodgers.

The idea that. that were in like the 80s or 90s now. Oh, wasn't this Vince Scully for like... Bro, the fact that you say that there's somebody else that's the honor to the Dodgers that's not Vince Coley is sacrilege. That's true. I'll give you that, man. They could have picked any other team at that point. Any other team.

And I don't even know where this city was located. It was vaguely put from the beginning. It could have been in Milwaukee. There's no chance that was L.A., right? It might have been L. It might, yeah. I mean, it was like a fucking... Yeah, well, he was probably just subbing for Vince Culley that day.

But Scully never missed the game, right? No. He was at every fucking game. He did every game by itself. And he has the fucking stones to bring that hat back to life. Brought that hat. Wear it in the baseball booth. On top of that, Benny is a pinch runner.

He just comes in. Comes in as a pinch runner. And he's like, well, a lot of people say that Benny's lost his step. I wouldn't be surprised we've used some fireworks. And like, so it's like, okay, is this late career, Benny? So why are you bringing an old player into pinch run? And then he just fucking goes for it right away. He's like, he decides.

Which, by the way, it is most ballsy played in sports because like the odds are, they're just going to be like on a fucking straight up pitch. You're out. I'm going to throw it to home and they're just, odds are they're just going to be like, oh, he's, here, catch her, just the fucking cat tag him. And by the way, what is that slide? Like, this is supposed to be the legend that pickled the beast. He does this tangled up slide where he kind of goes.

Misses the bag. He slides past it. Like, you fucking run right through that shit. And he finally touches with his hand on the back. Kind of looks like he's out, to be honest. The Jets got a suicide league And Like it wins a gang

Gets carried off He is lucky He got away with one Just like he did with the beast And is this a playoff game They carried him off This better not be a regular season game The best part of that scene though

Has to be then small Adult small celebration He's like Betty's The Betty still home The Betty still home He's still home He's still home

He does like a little fucking marimba shake and seen and then we're out and then the thumbs up which i feel like should be a meme somebody bring the the adult benny rodriguez back when he's doing this that should be memed at this point and say i started it copyright dissect djays and that brings us to the end of the sandlot so let's add some final questions and then we'll see ourselves out because uh i do feel like we just watch the whole movie you should watch the movie along with us like i feel like if you put it on mute and you just put it on.

Shit would sync up pretty well. I don't even, I don't even want to check the time. Right now he's scoring. He just, he literally like, right now, Benny's thumbs-upping him.

I think the timing of it is actually. Yeah, yeah. All right, what do we got? What are we got? All right, final questions I wanted to ask.

I started to bring it up earlier, but which kid in the, in the Sandlot squad do you think sucks the most? So I guess we could just do this with the MVP and the, yeah, we'll do that with the practice squad player. So let's do the, uh,

the awards. Let's start with the practice squad player. Which kid in the movie could you do without? And you're like, I didn't really need him in there. What do you got? So we have Tommy and Timmy, two like brothers. I assume Tommy would be the older one, and Timmy's the one who literally only lines

as he just repeats shit that the other kid says. But that's what makes them a duo and almost like, they're legendary in the movie because of that. No, they're not legendary. They're annoying. They bring nothing. They had nothing to any conversation. Usually Tommy's line is only another version

of what everybody else, just said, except for when he has that one random-ass dialogue when he's covered in dirt. And he's like, I blame myself. But Timmy literally has not one original thought. And the fact that neither squints nor ham who are always on everybody's case, never calls him out on it. Kind of bothered me. So, yeah, fuck off, Timmy. You've got to give him credit to Timmy, the little one.

I'm not going to give Timmy credit for anything. He's able to hang out with the older kids. This is older brother. They let him. Yeah, but he's a beast. What am I giving you credit for, dude? No, he sucks. I'm out. He's on my practice squad.

My practice squad is the tall, skinny kid that you called out of there. Bertram. Burstrom. He brings out the chaucs everybody up. He really doesn't do anything else in the movie. He had the fucking gall to call Smalls a geek at the beginning. He's like, no, he's a geek. It's like, look at your ass.

Bertram. You're the one that gets all into the 60s and nobody ever sees you again. Nobody, not even any of them. Just like, nobody ever saw him again. Yeah, he parties kind of was like, oh, no. He tried, like, acid one time. And he's like, oh, my God. My life has changed.

Yeah, definitely. He's that guy that, like, tries drugs one time, and it's just like, you know what? I see the world differently now. You don't even see the world. You will now refer to me as chuk-tog. Yeah, okay. So we got our practice squads. Okay, six men off the bench.

So that's, like, the player that's sort of, it doesn't need to be one of the kids, but like a movie, because they're honestly almost in it too much. But, like, which one you think is kind of like off the back? Actually, let's start with this. Which one of the group would you want to hang out with me? most. No, no, I like the six man. The six man. All right, do the six man.

That's what we do. And squints is the, you got to bring squints into this. Squids. He brings a lot of kids. He brings character to the, to the story. And he adds that. He's always like, yeah, we got that. He's always, he's always involved.

He's always involved. But, and then he, um, the pool scene. And he had nine kids with Wendy Peppercorn. That was pretty legendary. That's six man, dude. That's six man material. That's six man. You know what else is six man material?

Fucking being a not. just close personal friends, but also competitive comrades with fucking George Herman Ruth. I'm going with Mr. Mertle. James Earl Jones, the legendary baseball movie. Yeah, that's the thing. That's exactly what the sixth man of the bench is. He just comes in, cooks for the last five minutes. He makes him fucking believe he's blind, by the way.

The way he just kind of looks off and smiles with his fucking shades. He feels like a blind man. Well done. Also, he was the voice of fucking Darth Vader. Fucking legendary man right there. And Fields of a... Field of Dreams. He's legendary.

He got to give it to him. Six men right there. All right. So then, who is your MVP of the Sandlot? No, I'll give it. You go. Because mine's a little... Yours is a whole little...

Like a thing? Sneaky. I mean, it's got to be Benny the Jet. It's the obvious one. All right, well, it's between him and Ham for me. Bullshit. What? Bullshit.

What do you mean bullshit? The beast. The beast. Without the beast. None of this goes down. Without the beast, this is not a movie. Without the beast, there's not an end story. What is it called?

Climax to this movie that they have to overcome. He becomes, he's this huge beast, and then he finds out he's just a regular dog. He's just a dog. He's just Hercules. They put a shirt on him at the end. He lives until he's 28, which is a crazy, crazy amount of years for a big dog like that to live. Gotta give it to Hercules, man. No, I'll tell you why.

Okay, not only is Benny the best player in the neighborhood, but not as he the fatherly figure to all these kids and just like gives them a place to be. If he's not there, they don't have a coolness factor. He literally, he's the hinge. He has a fucking glove in his back pocket for anybody that needs it. Hey, guess what? You need a hat?

Boom, there you go. I got my magic back pocket. I did a whole video on this couple years ago. Magic back pocket that has anything that you need. Hey, we show up to the fair. None of us have any money, but guess what? I got you all. Don't ask me how I got money.

pay through nine of us into the fucking carnival but because I'm Benny and I do it all I feels like the kind of guy that nowadays would just buy around his shots for the bar even though he's got like low cash in his pocket but he's like yeah this is just that everybody needs right now and you know what I'm gonna give it to him yeah yeah on top of that the other team knew he was the best other than Benny you guys are all a bunch of peeps who everybody knows Benny's a town legend it's down legend especially after he pickled the beats especially after he Pickled a beast. Pickle the beast.

How do you fucking outrun a dog that can break off a chain and jump over a fence twice? And the only, like literally, do you realize the odds of actually beating a dog that you're trying to race? Like, end up with a victory in some kind of way?

My little six-pound dog will catch me in under 20 feet. And brocious will catch your ass. What a little fucking 80 to 250-pound bowl mastiff do? He's 21 years old, though. I know, but still, he was old and he was, youthful enough to jump over the fence A high 10 foot fence, I agree.

He got ups. That's the MVP. That's why he's the MVP, dude. He fucking jumped the 10 foot fence. You kidding me? Yeah. And threw a bunch of shit over the fence. He knows how to huck a fucking twisted metal over the fence. That dog wise behind his ears. I think we nailed it. Those are

the two MVPs of the movie. That's it. And that is a great place to leave off. And that's a sandal out, man. And now... Go watch it. Go, go. It's on Hulu right now. Go watch it. I bet you've been a long time. and you're going to remember all these little scenes, the music, Benny. You're going to remember all this little bullshit,

and it's going to bring a smile to your face because it did for me when I was watching it many times. It's a child movie that literally works at all ages, and it, like, lives on. And that's why we will love not only what this movie did for the 90s and baseball movies alike, but made us all appreciate what a 90s baseball movie can be and friendship to childhood.

It reminds us of a different era. And appreciate that. I remember this movie made me one. a group of friends like this. Yeah. And this was 93, so I was 9. And I had literally just moved it to a new neighborhood. I wasn't as much of a non-athlet as he was.

I was anything. I was a superb athlete at this age. And then my neighborhood had about six kids all about my age, a little older than younger. And I literally just created our own sandline. We did it more with like football, tackle football, and shit like that. But either way, I was going into a group like this. And I wanted a group and saw this movie. And then I had my group a year later.

I fit in with this movie really well as a kid. You know what's hilarious about that is you saying that actually just reminded me on my childhood. And we, so I grew up in Culver City, which was a totally different city back then when I was a kid. We lived on this block called Carson Street, and it kind of had different kids sort of around our age range up and down the block. And there was one kid who lived in the middle of the street who was like, I don't know, four or five years older than me. But he was like the captain. He was the Benny of that. He just like controlled.

He was incredibly scheduled. He was organized as fuck. He did everything out of his notebooks. He would literally like make these different clubs. And he's like, yeah, Wednesdays, we all ride bikes and we go here. And on Tuesdays at this time, we all kind of hang out in the backyard and just listen to music. Like he was just the organizer of the whole block. He was our leader.

His parents were probably like on his ass. Yeah. Let's be real. No. He had a military father. No question, dude. He actually has two moms. That was my first experience.

It's ever that. That's organization. Right. No, he had his little office in the backyard and like he literally, he was like. Office in the backyard at 12? Yeah, he had a little like, it was a shed that he turned into an office. I'm telling you, he was like so. This kid is a millionaire right now.

I hope he is. This kid is a fucking millionaire. And here's the fun part. I just literally put this together right now. You know what his name was? Ben. Shut the fuck up. We didn't call the Betty.

We called the bed. But, you know, me being a kid, him being like five years older than me, He was like a fucking adult. He was all organizing shit. He was like, he was the leader. Yeah, real soundlight, dude. He was literally like a real sandlot. Yeah, we just didn't have a baseball field.

We just had a block, you know? Side note with that, they had an epic fucking field right in the middle, like, their own field. What a thing to have. No other other place. Yeah, they never had to fight any other traffic for it. That's amazing. I would love it. I actually kind of had that because I had an elementary school in the back where we had to wait until the elementary school was up.

Yeah, yeah. Even those fucking kids with the baseball uniforms and never even. tried to take it. They had a nice of field though. They did have a nice field. There was no reason for them to fight it for him. And then they went in like on their field and they took their money. They took their lunch money. They're just like boom. Anyways, love the sandalot. Go watch it. We just went through about I feel like I just played nine innings of baseball, man. I feel it. Especially with the non-AC in this. We need to get some AC. We can't. We could put a fan. We could put a AC in here, but they're doing it for you. But then we're sacrificing. Yeah, yeah. We want

You don't want, Dad. You want clarity, and we gave it to you. You know what? So we're just out here cooking like a hot summer day in the sandlot. Let's go night. Next! Next!