Distractible - A Disgusting Episode

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

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Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself. Doom the Dark Ages, available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5 and PC. Printed in for Mature. Good evening, gentle listener or watcher, and welcome to Distractable. for Mature. and says no to textures. Mannequin Mark rejects poop fiction, defends curiosity, then plugs wounds and kills warts. From kakar cartoons

to immobile Pontiffs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. That's right, you're listening to my favorite podcast. It's the only thing I listen to. My car, the shower, while I sleep. This is the only show I listen to. I'm Wade, what are you laughing at? What's so funny? I love the whole I Was just thinking you know a thing that pump some people do before they speak out loud now you I've never done that

I know anyway if you never see the show before I'm hosting because I won the last one means that I am hosting See this way you think this is why I this is what you think. This is why I need time to think, Wade. This is what happens. I'm hosting and Mark and Wade are competing to see who will host the next one. One of them will host the next one. Unless I win, which isn't technically impossible, but I don't think that's going to happen. You guys are on it today, right? How are you doing? How are we feeling today? Pretty good, Ben. Hey, question, guys. Does it look like I'm wearing a jacket and no shirt?

Yes. A little bit yeah. Are you wearing like the deepest V in existence or what's going on? No, no. Oh there it is. I thought you were going for the Hugh Hefner today, I thought you just came in a robe with a hat. But I just, I realized like I could technically just I guess show up in a jacket and no shirt and maybe no one would question it listeners Definitely not questioning it honestly like some people online would be like did you guys notice nah whatever just doing something It's fine anyway, so just wanted to put that out there into the world well now I can't stop thinking about mark not wearing a shirt, so thanks for that It would be really funny if I secretly took it off and then throughout the

episode, I just started like standing up on my tip toes. You just keep pulling. It's actually not connected. It's just straps up over your shoulders. You just slowly keep pulling it down as it goes on. Nam, it really goes down. It really goes. It's super stretchy. That's the thing. It's like very stretchy But if you're not wearing a shirt and we get the bonus point for match your background your skin tone right on Yeah, I'm pretty

Pretty magic. I am NOT today. Well if we get that in an hour from now won't that be relevant? And I have to put the photopia No, I don't think we need to do that. It's okay. Anyway, Miracle of Miracles, I have an episode prepared again. Usually I show up with nothing and we just do whatever and it turns out how it turns out. I have a script in front of me. Well, I wouldn't call it a script. That's how I feel crazy. But I have things and we're going to talk about those. But the tradition is, before we talk about the stuff I have written down, we do small talk. What's been going on with you guys? Any flooded toilet poop situations? Looking at you, Wade? You have poopy poops? Well, no, just our poopy cat. We got those like,

dog training paper things you put down, the little potty pads or whatever and uh he uses them about 60% of the time so we have had about 60% less poopy floor that's an improvement yeah that's the only poopy update i've got you just he just decided it gets litter boxes forever huh we think it has something to do with uh going through kidney failure to some extent yeah well Keter's husband around i think he is 18 about 18 when i'm that when i'm 18 years old, I'll poop wherever I want to. I've decided. Do you still multiply by 7 for cats to figure out their age? Is he like 140 or something?

I don't actually know. How old- how old is cats? That's what I'll Google. How old is cats? How old is cats? That was a great question. A cat's first year of life is equivalent to about 15 years of human life. And the second year is nine more, and after that they're generally around four human years. Of course cats are more complex.

Dogs is like, yeah, just seven, multiply by seven. And cats is like, well, it's 15 years and then seven years and then it's like one year, but then it's like eight years. Do math. I'm a cat. 24 plus 16 times four in parentheses I'm not doing that that's how old he is it's pretty old yeah that's good though that's a 60% poop improvement Mark how much is your poop improved my poop is greater than 60% like probably 80 I would say improvement. I you know, actually I realize I don't want to talk about that poop at all Hahahaha

Sorry I find this topic disgusting You know it actually I'm gonna know but this Well, it could be any poop improvement That's not the poop that comes out of you exclusively obviously I mean it gets so personal with you dude, you know, I just don't need anyone knowing that I poop. I just don't need people knowing that.

I got a book I think you should read, Mark. It's gonna really change your life. Crazy Caterpillar? It's called Everybody Poops. Oh. And James is reading it a lot right now. Just check it out. I've seen that book.

That book is fucking disgusting. That book is the grossest book I've ever seen. Potty training, potty training in general, like I don't know what I thought it was gonna be, but it's more concerning than I expected. Like one method of potty training is your baby doesn't wear pants now. Your baby is just full Winnie the Pooh, and if and when they start peeing or pooping while you're just doing like everyday life like you're in the living room and they just start going you just pick them up and

run to the bathroom and be like in the toilet in the toilet in the toilet that's so terrifying it's a technique that i'm not gonna do and then like James is interested in the toilet now and the other day i was like oh dad needs to go to the bathroom hang on and Mandy was like Oh, maybe James wants to see how the bathroom works and I was like, oh Why do you want to see that? That doesn't sound good. And I thought about it and I was like no That's actually what I'm supposed to do. Isn't it? I'm supposed to bring my son into the toilet so we can talk about how toilets work and I can It's I don't like it's concerning It's good that he'll be able to use a toilet at the end of it,

but all the rest of the in-between parts? I never thought all the way through how that works, and I don't care for it. Make it less concerning. Get one of those things they use to bypass drug tests, the Wisinator. And you can use that to demonstrate. Interesting. That sounds worth it, probably. I have a question.

Cause I just looked up the book, Everybody Poops, expecting to find the page that I saw in a store one day. sure. and I'm not seeing it. what book did I see that was like a madman scrawling of a bunch of animals and then poop literally filling every single square inch of the page is that not that book? I don't specifically remember that page as being from a book store. I swear to God, I'm not joking, I went into a bookstore and I was like, oh everybody poops. Mark's in an adult bookstore in the fetish section. Fetish section? No, this was not that. It was awful. It was just like there was animals everywhere and there was just brown. Scrawled everywhere and I'm like this is

a horrible book but everyone says it's saw this is a book my kids learning out of poop and I look at it I'm like this is a nightmare. What in the world is this? I think it was in Barnes and Nobles. What book did I see? I don't know but I would love for you to retrace those steps and try and find it. Where? Wh- Then what did I see? You should probably Google that. I am! Illustrated book page with animals ocean of poop. See what comes up. Oh, you got adults does shits.

I... Okay, let's see. I'll torture chat GPT with this question. This is the kind of thing you should ask. Alright. Am I crazy? Let's see I'll torture chat GPT with Stop there man, the answers obvious you guys carry out I'm gonna ask about this Yeah, Bob get a whiz in there that way you don't have to like it's probably less awkward That sounds like it will definitely not cause problems or confuse him or scar him for life. Yeah, it's funny But it's one of my least favorite things about parenting stuff. There's so much stuff that comes up where it's like I knew that these things were gonna happen intellectually but I didn't think through like practically what it was

gonna be like and you just get in the situation and they're like like oh he pooped in the tub during a bath ah shoot and then it's like wait what do we do and they're like well get the poop out of the tub obviously Is there a scoop for that or oh with my hand no Oh, no, like there are there are better solutions, but there are just so many moments like that where they're like Oh, yeah, just bring your just bring your kid into the bathroom with you and show them how you pee in the toilet. Oh Really? Everyone else who talks about it is like, yeah, obviously, all parents do this.

This is totally normal. Just bring your kid in the bath, go to the bathroom with someone and be, and while they watch you be like, this is dad's zipper. This is how, and then we flush dad's pee down the toilet. And it's like, like I get why that's normal intellectually, but it's hard to just go from I pee and poop alone by myself in the bathroom for my entire life that I can remember

to, yeah son, come in here, let me show you something. Yeah that is weird. Let me show you how dad gets work done in the office. Especially being tall, because a kid coming in at that height is right in the splash damage like height, that's terrifying. Only animals stand up and pee in their own home toilets. I like to sit too, but I thought if you were teaching it was a teaching a stand, you're teaching a sit. Yeah, well that's the thing is that I thought about it and I looked into it and everyone was like,

yeah well you should stand up so they can see better. I was kind of trying to have him not see better if I'm honest about it, but that is the point isn't it? He's supposed to... okay. Well this is an exciting new chapter. Mark, did you find your weird fetish book yet? No, there's two versions of this book. The gross one and the regular one? Or what? Literally, there are two books called Everybody Poops. Is one of them narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and kind of a joke? narrated by Samuel L Jackson and kind of a joke. No, it's okay. So there's one that you know of that's made by Tarogomi with like four squares on the front. Is that the book you have?

That sounds right. Four squares, like a horse and a duck and an apple, right? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's another book called Everybody Poops by Justine Avery with a bunch of people on the front and all of them say I do I do I do I do and I can't find an interior page of this book but I bet

have it delivered. I'm not gonna buy it. But what if you what if you need to know what's in that book? You didn't even read the content, you were so surprised at the imagery. There's a coloring book version of it. Comes with one color crayon. I'm gonna need like five more brown crayons, dad. I'm assuming that's not the cover of the book as you've described it. No. Why did you pick up the book, everybody poops and crack open to a page?

It's bad luck that that's the specific thing you saw. But what you see that and be like, oh, that can't be right. And like, go check and see what the what the book was about or something. You wouldn't think that if you've heard like, yeah, this is a great book for kids to learn how to poop. And I'm like, is it? This looks weird. Flip it open. Huh? Slam it closed. What do you do in a bookstore why is the

weirdest thing in a bookstore to crack open a book I don't generally go look at kids books even though I have a kid what was in a center aisle it was in one of the tables in the middle on the way in if I if I had that thought if I was walking past it I had I would look at it and be like oh that's that book kids used to learn how to go to the bathroom that doesn't apply to me and then I'd keep going so glad that your curiosity is water how do the other half live look if you saw this cover you might also be like that's kind of weird peak I hope it's like a horror novel. It's supposed to be terrifying and awful. It was,

it was. But the thing is I can't find anything on Google that shows any interior of that book. There is nothing. All right. Mark had a fever dream of a poop book. It might've been, maybe it was, who knows. He found the Jumanji of poop books. Wait, can I just point out the thing about this whole story that's possibly the weirdest part? You were in an actual physical bookstore. I don't even know where there is one of those around me anymore. They all keep closing. Barnes and Noble? Is it Barnes and Noble still around? There used to be like a Barnes and Noble or the other one in every strip mall in the world, it felt like. And now I feel like if I had to go to a bookstore, I'm not sure where

one is that I would go to. Did you go to the bookstore on purpose or you just like at the mall or something? No, there's a bookstore out here if you were in lovely Los Angeles in Glendale, which is not actually, I don't know if they're part of Los Angeles, I have no idea. Glendale has a Barnes and Noble in there, what's called the Americana. I have been there. I've heard that the offspring song, Welcome to Americana. That's what it is? Anyway I'm jealous of your Los Angeles bookstore we don't have that kind of fancy stuff here. I haven't been in years this was many many moons ago. I think we literally have a Barnes & Noble and since then at least one. I mean there probably is one but like I growing up I knew where several different bookstores were that I could have gone to. Oh yeah there's a lot less. I'm sure there is is one, but like, I, growing up, I knew where several different bookstores were

that I could have gone to. Oh yeah, there's a lot less. I'm sure there is one, but I don't know where it is. Like, there's not one in any of the shopping centers I go to normally, it's weird. There's a very simple way to solve it, I just Googled it. No, that sounds stupid.

This is how we got in the, didn't mention Jungle Jim's problem, because we didn't actually look up anything. It's a Barnes and Noble in Kenwood. That's like, half 40 minutes away from me. They're actually look up anything. It's a Barnes and Noble in Kenwood. That's like half 40 minutes away from me. They're actually, it moved. It was in the other building. Is it in the new part of Kenwood or whatever?

Yeah, yeah. It's like there's like a mall offshoot in the mall parking lot that's just more mall, but it's disconnected from the mall. Kenwood Mall has always been a disaster. It's kind of the only mall left in the entire Cincinnati area. Yeah, Tri County closed. So Kenwood's like THE mall.

They changed their parking lot, now you go in, you have to do a loop, you can't just park because it's such a cluster. That parking lot is such a nightmare. You're underselling how annoying it is to go in and out of that place. It's so awful. It is terrible. I mean, it just doesn't make any sense because they have like parking structures with multiple levels. If they just took another one of those big flat lots and just put a parking garage in there, problem solved. You mean room for expansion,

more shopping? I think what I heard Mark say was 15 more storefronts. Anyway, books are over there somewhere too now. Books are somewhere there. Books. Ha. This guy. Someone on the subreddit is being like, No, I've seen this book. It's a plant. Someone puts it in bookstores. Because what else? What would it have been? It's so burned into my brain of being like, How would anyone give this to their child?

This is, I have seen my hat all over again. Here's what I think happened. I think there's an experiment being run where certain people in like the world have like a gene Where they see a certain thing on a book cover there or on any kind of cover cereal box And they're compelled to pick it up So they're planting things in different places that have this on the cover and you're one of those people and you're part of this study And you just don't know it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna subscribe to the idea that it's such an offbeat weird thing to look at a book and pick it up. I'm not going to buy this. You're not gonna make this a real weird trait. This is a perfectly normal thing. You don't have to have some spiral hypnotizing cover to be like, whoa. I just love the idea that Mark is a sleeper agent and his trigger word is a children's book that doesn't actually exist. That just gets planted in his life and places.

Soldier, here are your orders. Turn to page seven. Ah! Why'd you order me that? Turn to page eight. Got you. He's a sleeper agent, but we trained him wrong as a joke. Look at that! Turned to page 8. Got you. He's a sleeper agent, but we trained him wrong as a joke. Hahahaha! Ah, that was a good bit. How do you like my face to foot technique?

I gotta watch that movie again just to see if it's actually funny or if I was just really, really had terrible humor back then. I think it's funny I don't know which movie we're talking about Kung Pao enter the fist. Oh, I saw that one time ever I mean, I don't think I've seen it that many times, but See you remember it sticks it's that quote. Yeah, that's the that's basically her only line I watched it with Molly and I learned that half of Ryan's like the only Ryan Ryan shout out to you again You don't have to shout out someone every time you mention their name No, I do I got told the only time I bring people up on here is to shame them and this was only half shame

So it's kind of like a nice one compared to my usual bits But I bring people up usually to like make fun of them for something I'm learning that I'm kind of an asshole, but I get away with it. Do you? usually to like make fun of them for something. I'm learning that I'm kind of an asshole, but I get away with it. Do you? Do you? Like people think I'm stupid, so they're like,

oh, it's okay, it's just Wade being an asshole. Yeah, I do, people let me do it. Do you though? Maybe not with YouTube, but generally, yeah. Generally, do you? Yeah. Well, I guess we'll find out in the comments on this episode.

Did I win? No, you didn't win, because we didn't even play the game yet. Woohoo, good episode. Mark I win? No you didn't win because we didn't even play the game yet. Woohoo! Good episode! Mark, congrats. You assume boldly but correctly that Mark has a strong advantage because I'm hosting. Is that real? I've not read the updated who lets who win the most things. It's probably real, I don't know. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. With prices going up on just about everything lately, being smart with your money isn't

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canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter distractible in the survey so they know we sent you. Don't wait! Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from our show. Listen, I have a thing that Mandy told me that turned into a whole episode idea because chainsaws.

You guys know chainsaws. I know for a fact Mark knows chainsaws. I know chainsaws, yeah. You drove around in your truck and chainsawed some stuff when there were catastrophes in your area and you were helping people. I gotta confess, I see a chainsaw walking down the sidewalk, I cross the street. Yeah, I get that, yeah. Don't feel good about it, but it's funny Anyway, we we know what they're for right if you look at a chainsaw, you know what it's for

It's for juggling at a circus cutting down trees or cutting up part trees or whatever Okay, what if I told you that those were originally invented for a different purpose? And I'm talking vastly different, unrelated to tree anything. What do you think James Jeffrey and John Aitken invented the chainsaw for in Scotland in the 1780s? 1780s? 1780s. What do you think they invented the chainsaw for? Did it even look like a chainsaw?

It was some kind of contraption where it was like a hand cranked. The chainsaw blade and actual chain were similar but you just hand cranked it so it was a lot slower but it was the same basic invention. The new ones are just motorized chainsaws. But so this was, yeah, this is 1780. This is a hand cranked thing with gears and this chain still goes around and does a cutting motion type deal.

What do you think they invented that for? I'm guessing. I know this one. Okay. Mark uttered first. I don't want to, he was so confident. Go ahead All right, I'm gonna say that because you started this off with some poop tangent It's it's a fancy Scottish poop cutter for just cutting up poop once it's outside the body or what do you know?

No, no, no, it's how they wipe. Oh Okay, when they're done they just Then they're clean the blood will wipe it all away. I could see that I can see that Wade What do you think in Scotland? Their hair is just different than other countries and they keep it in a real tight braid 1780s real Braided Scottish hair time real difficult to cut with scissors. So they needed something better for it So they invented the chainsaw to cut through the braid They don't have to unbraid the beard

to cut through it, you know? Probably. Question. Yes. Was it still used for cutting anything? Oh, it cut stuff. Okay, it cut stuff, all right. You could even say it shaved stuff, but not in the way that I think Wade is imagining.

That doesn't help, yeah, that doesn't help at all. Do you wanna know the answer, or do you wanna keep guessing? We got a couple more guesses, right Mark? Yeah, I got guesses. Yeah, I got guesses. Alright. It was meant for... it was an early catalytic converter for cutting emissions. In the time before cars, they still needed to cut emissions.

Yep, absolutely. Because of industry. I know, yeah. I said what I said. The way they designed shoestrings, those little plastic edges, really annoying to cut the plastic bits, so that was designed to cut through the plastic part of the shoelace so you'd have the little ends that tie your shoes. I got it. I know what the answer is.

So back in the early movie industry of the 1780s, they needed to cut footage, but it was film. So they had to have something that cut at 24 FPS. So they would crank it and it would chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Similar to Mark's answer, but it was actually plays. When the director would yell cut, the Scottish accent was so pronounced and loud whenever they would talk,

that they couldn't hear the director yelling cut. So they got cut in half They're like, oh, well, I guess he needed it and then they fall over and I a prominent crop in Scotland is spring barley Spring barley incredibly difficult to cut without a chainsaw. Oh, what did how did you did you Google that? Yes Yeah, it's like how the shit would you know that that's not a thing, you know We were there one time we went to the mall and I remember there was just barley everywhere. Okay, well, I'm gonna tell ya. Mark got the closest.

That's not me. And you should have just quit while you were ahead because your very first guess was the closest you guys got, Mark. No. The chainsaw was originally invented to assist in performing symphycyotomies. What? Symphycyotomies, which is the surgical removal of pelvic bone to help with an obstructed childbirth. No! Oh God! This is like an actual horror story. The chainsaw was invented to stick up in a woman's pelvic area. No! To make more room if the baby

wasn't fitting out of the the pelvis of a woman who was trying to give birth. How did that help? It cut and shaved and otherwise widened. Shaved what? Bone Mark. It was because there's bone in the pelvis and sometimes the bone... Bone's not exposed. What is once you chainsaw it a little bit. Yeah so this is apparently the origin of the chainsaw and then some other person saw that and was like wouldn't that be better on trees? And the surgeons were like, ah, maybe. This is what I'm gonna say, boy that really ripped right through that lady. You know. This is a story where I wish I had aphantasia because a vivid imagination for chainsaw crotch is not it. Nah, it's horrific. I will say I think this is the most horrific one,

but I literally, I learned this fact, Mandy was telling me about this, and I was like, man, that's probably an episode of a podcast. So today we're gonna talk about inventions that are currently known for some use, but were obviously invented originally for some other use, like the scariest sounding surgical procedure I could possibly imagine. This episode probably needs some kind of

warning on the top of it about... It started with poop talk, I'm pretty sure. I didn't think it could go downhill from there! I've known this for about a week and a half right at this point and I'm still very uncomfortable about that information. The next one's way more fun than that. Oh good. Also Mark, I guess you get the point for that one. Ah, thanks I guess. Congrats dude.

Chainsaw Anus, got it. Chainus. Chainus Onus? How'd you know about the sequel? Chainus Sonus? I hope you guys do not do that on that. That's just one video every day for a year of something about chainsaws And I really run out of stuff eventually but no you'd be shocked not before you try your very own homemade

Simphi Psyotomy. Yeah, I don't like that. Anyway guys Bubble wrap nothing bad could happen with bubble wrap, right? Everyone knows bubble wrap. You order something in the mail that's breakable, maybe it's a glass vase or something, comes wrapped in bubble wrap because it protects it. It's bouncy, it's squishy, keeps it safe. That is what everyone knows bubble wrap is for. So what did Alfred and Mark think bubble wrap was going to be for when they invented it in 1957? I know this one! The phrase is losing all meaning. Do you actually know this one? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. 1950s, right? This is after World War II had ended. We were still kind of in the Cold War. This was pre-Bay of Pigs. And a big problem in World War I was trenches. World War I, World War II, mines. So before you go out on the minefield, you'd put down your bubble wrap and then you would cross it. It would kind of disperse your weight. And whenever you did hit a mine,

the explosion would be minimized because there was bubble wrap in between you to protect you. Sure, sure. Mark, what do you think they thought it was gonna be? What was bubble wrap originally meant for? Well, those pesky childbirths. After you chainsawed, you chainsawed your way in there, you gotta have something

to catch it when it falls out. So you just lay a bunch of bubble wrap on the ground and PLOP. Hopefully. 200 years and 7 billion concussions later, they were like, ah, this is what we need. They just kept dropping on the floor. They were like, it's good for him, it's good for him. What if this is just a whole list of horrifying medical contraptions? Everything just comes back to. The true Halloween episode none of us wanted.

Nah, bubble wrap's cool. It's fun. You know where it's even more fun? As wallpaper. Eh? Alfred Fielding and Mark Chavanez, Chavans, Chavans, Chavans, Chavans, Chavans, were trying to invent a new type of textured wallpaper.

When everyone other than them realized that that was a stupid idea and had no interest. They also tried marketing it as greenhouse insulation before eventually accidentally discovering that if you just wrap stuff in it it keeps it from breaking as much. They got fired they were packing up their office like well guess we'll just wrap it in this. Wait! Probably. Accidentally inventing something that That always makes no sense to me. It's like, what are you doing in your lab with like a hammer and plastic and you're like, tink, tink, tink.

Ah, shit, a gun. Fuck. I mean, I feel like phrasing it as accidentally inventing something is maybe short selling how inventors actually work. But also, isn't maybe short selling how inventors actually work. But also, isn't that kind of how inventors actually work? Isn't it mostly some person

who is like, I have this idea for a thing and I just need to make it. And then they make it and it's just the fucking craziest thing. And then they're desperately just like, what is this actually usable for? What can we do? What can we do? A childbirth? Ugh, yeah, stick with that apparently. Oh wait, no, nevermind. Market it, sell it, we'll figure it out later. But would you have bubble wrap wallpaper?

No. No. Yeah, it sounds awful, doesn't it? I hope we never, one of the trends I hope never comes back is wallpaper, dude. That's what happens once you pop it. You get like a whole new room all re wallpaper, and it's all done, and then your kid walks into the room, and it's just like

Like fuck no stop That's $85 a square foot stop. Here's a conversation to have because Wade you don't like wallpaper I actually am totally fine with wallpaper because what I'm sick of is the hyper modern Everything's a flat white wall. I mean, that's fair. There needs to be some texture You can have wallpaper that's not like the the super textured stuff It could give like a subtle something to it and there's you could do that with paint and not have to peel it off to replace It though replacing wallpaper moving wallpaper is so awful It's not that bad. You're soaking is so awful. It's not that bad. You soak it and you scrape it. It's not that bad.

It can be a pain in the ass, but textured paint or if you have like, like in California, it's really popular to have orange peel texture as part of the dry wall. That's not any better. If you want to change that, you just have to like, stand it all off or scrape it off anyway. If you're going to texture your wall, wallpaper is as good as any other way that you're gonna do it. And right now, Amy's helping to fix up the new room and it's like, she's gonna put wallpaper on there. No.

And it's really nice texture. It's a really nice color. It's like, wow, you don't have to paint that. You just kind of slap it on and it's even and done. You don't have to worry about perfectly evenly coating everything. It's like, that's kind of nice. I do find it really intimidating the seaming and the lining up of wallpaper. Yeah, yeah. You're like theoretically, you're like, yeah, well you just put it edge to edge, right?

But to actually get that edge so nice and actually straight and everything, I feel like there's no way I could do that. Yeah, there's an art to it. Someone who's a professional obviously can do it, but if I had the idea of like, oh, I'll just wallpaper my wall behind me It would not turn out like I would want it to it would be that seems hard. That's why there are professionals

They do paint in different colors. Yeah, I know I'm not talking about colors. I'm talking about texture I don't feel my wall anyway, you know, how often am I I'm not touching my wall either I don't know what you're doing poop book guy. Maybe you see a good wall You're like I need to touch that I'm gonna find this book print out that page get wallpaper made of it And I'm gonna secretly go into your house Cover I'm gonna cover the outside with it I think some people are on the subreddit are gonna back me up about this But it's only gonna be like two or three it was like no I've seen this version of the book no whoa Wallpapers coming back wallpaper might coming back. Wallpaper might come back

I just don't want it. It is back. We're not we're not the people who dictate that it is back There's lots of cool new wallpapers There's that's the thing too is you don't you need to wallpaper every square inch of a room You can do like one wall or a part of one wall if you have like a an area that makes sense Do you guys like the accent wall thing? I'm not big on the accent wall thing What accent what do you mean by accent wall? Where you have like three walls, one color and one different. You mean having a nice design to a room so that there's like a focal point? Yeah, that sounds awful, doesn't it? James's room has that. He has white walls, but then he has one,

the main wall is green that his bed is on and it's like a jungle-y theme. But if the whole room was this color green, it'd be way too fucking much green. There's a nice diagram that you can see about, it's mostly for set design, but it's for creating different space with just painted walls, where if you paint certain walls black

and certain walls white or certain walls one color and then want a complimentary darker color, you can kind of shape the illusion of the space to have more depth or more Height or shrink it down. It's crazy. How effective that is especially in like photography and on video Video Hey a reboot or something fuck you the chainsaw help him so like I wouldn't just say like, accent walls are dumb and suck. It's just like, it has a purpose. Yeah.

Why, why, why is it dumb and suck? That was for the watchers, not you. Don't look at me. You don't think I'm watching? Editors make my eyes really watchy. Just galaxies, just the Oppenheimer shot in Mark's eyes. Make it look nice, I just don't like dealing with, the accent wall I don't like the look of, I feel like it look nice. I just don't like dealing with the accent.

Well, I don't like the look of I feel like it just looks like someone was lazy. Didn't finish the job. If anyone else is it's Mark, but I don't think any of us gets to be in it in authority on interior design. I think that's very personal preference. What do you mean? I've done great. This is very important because I said so. A Play-Doh. Why did Noah McVicker invent play dough in the 1930s

in Cincinnati huh? Ding. Oh that's confident. Sometimes the baby's not ready to come out and you gotta find a way to plug them back up in there to make sure they're not coming out. Give them time to play in the womb. Hahaha. Right? Yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm the one who chose to start this, but with that most horrific thing I think I've heard in a hot minute. Guys, I know this one. Alright, I don't think he said that, but come on, hit me with it. At one point in his life he had to have... So, Play-Doh. It comes with those different like plastic contraptions where had to have, so Play-Doh. It comes with those different plastic contraptions where you can make little Play-Doh spaghetti or make Play-Doh star shape, whatever have you.

So plastic explosives in the military became a bad because people don't want to inhale microplastics. So they made Play-Doh because inhaling micro-Play-Doh was much less concerning, and you could have different designs for your bombs to make them blend in with their environment. Wade is exactly right No, obviously not. All right, that hurt my heart

I would have been like, oh, that's interesting. But I guess not. That's that is I could see how you would think then Why am I a military in Mark's vagina? No, well, obviously Oh, so continue keep working. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I don't want to cut you off. Keep working. Keep working No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We had to find different food ways to compete with that and the pizza dough was the key to a good pizza So what if we make dough out of something else that can also be different colors and you can really make it malleable to kind of make it whatever shape you want because pizza One or two shapes you've square around but play dough It was really called a dough because you eat it Alright so when was this invented? When?

Uh, 1930s in Cincinnati. Perfect. That doesn't conflict at all. So this is when the theatrical version of the Simpsons first got on stage, and they needed something to replicate Homer Simpson's skin tone and texture. So what they did was they made stuff for the play, and Homer would then be able to say No, no, that's stupid so 1930s Great Depression

People that were struggling they saw the rich people going to their big fancied computerized ATMs They're like we're gonna make sure they can't get their money out We'll make something that could fit into any orifice to stop their coins and dollars from coming out and they made the dough to Shove right in the dollar slot so the rich couldn't get their money from their ATM Herbert Hoover Herbert Hoover Yeah, no, right. I see where you're coming from. Yeah. No, I got it. That's okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Keep going Yeah early on None of my I got this one. All right, cool

So whenever you get dirt under your nails, you have to get like a file to clean out It's really annoying but the dough could shove right under it It'll stick to the dirt and you pull it out and your dough Would be a little bit dirtier, but you under your nails perfectly clean and the teeth Who needs floss when you got play-doh with that guess both of you are impressively close Mark was close don't say about the childbirth don't Home maintenance was the right genre. Not a plumbing tool necessarily, but home maintenance, yes.

And Wade is right with your last guess about cleaning out under your fingernails and stuff. Kind of. Back then, homes were heated by coal furnaces, which basically meant that there was coal dust and soot all over everything in existence because it went out the chimney but some of it didn't go out the chimney coal is dirty nasty stuff. Plato was invented to help clean the wallpaper in your house. You rub it on the wall and it pulls the soot or the coal dust or whatever off the wall and that was great for the company until coal was phased out almost completely and replaced by natural

gas or electric heat and nobody needed that anymore until a teacher realized kids could eat it and survive. So that meant it needed to go into the classroom. Play-Doh did a complete rebrand, saved the company and started selling this goop to kids. Was this an assassination attempt? Was the teacher like feeding the annoying kid play dough every day? Like fucking die, Timmy. It was a school, right? So even though everyone else had natural gas heat, the school still was coal heated because schools are always behind the times and have low tech and no money for stuff.

And so the teacher was probably just cleaning the coal off the wall with the stuff and dropped a piece and a kid immediately was just like, oh, and that kid didn't die for the next week and a half. And the teacher was like, we need more of this. That's a bring down lunch expenses, 10 fold. All I can think of when I think of Play-Doh is the stupid video of you and Ethan making Thanksgiving dinners out of Play-Doh. Oh yeah. And then fucking eating it. And that is the most vile thing I've ever seen you try and eat that was the most vile thing Look, I know you've I know you've done worse, but the it's a texture thing for me the thought slimy play-doh

Getting it in between your teeth. That is involuntary and I hate it It's something there's something about that that like deeply disturbs me and makes me actually throw up a little bit. I got Bob on this tangent earlier, Mark, before you got here because I was looking on Amazon and I came across Kraft macaroni and cheese gummies that were recommended to me and it's just a box that looks like Kraft mac and cheese, but it's like Play-Doh-y looking gummies that reminded me of the soup drops that we talked about, the soup edges those are not as bad as eating Play-Doh to me but yeah those are bad I you know there's so many different candy and snack manufacturers that can't get the collaboration thing right of like crossing into a different type of

candy but for some reason it was totally unrelated but Takis is really good at that and so Takis is dead to me as we all know sure sure sure sure. For years yeah. But they're so good at doing the collaboration like their popcorn was really good they had some kind of crusted peanut thing that was really good but can't eat them because you know Ethan has exploding death disease but how are they just gonna and how has no one working at Takis gotten me a bag of their fucking powder. How? Pretty unforgivable. I realize you want a bunch of different powders from a bunch of different countries. Have you tried cocaine?

Have you? I did use a cocaine grinder in high school. Your cocaine grinder? That I used for my chemistry class. Do you grind cocaine? Someone in my family did, because we had a grinder. I actually have no idea. These just look like coffee grindersers but that makes sense I guess yeah you want to get the

cocaine beans and grind them down but I guess that makes sense because I for some reason I imagine it started as a powder but I guess maybe it doesn't we've not gotten there and schedule one yet so I'm not really sure how it goes it's like cooked and reduced down to like a powder by basically cooking all the moisture out of it I think but it has to be then like broken up or I don't know cocaine's bad don't do it all the tv shows make it seem pretty fun but it seems like it's probably more bad than fun to me now I acknowledge that this is a pretty weird line in the sand but the idea of eating play dough haunts my entire existence

and that video that you guys did like I can't imagine a much worse thing someone's trying to torture me and force me to do something for me it's styrofoam peanuts I mean you didn't seem like you enjoyed it when you were trying to eat your giant hunk of play-doh but you you did fine it was incredibly salty that was the only thing just concerning because I feel like there shouldn't be salt in play-doh it might have not have been salt that just tasted salty so who knows maybe it's cuz you be salt in Play-Doh. It might have not have been salt, it just tasted salty, so who knows. Maybe it's because you played with the Play-Doh so much, the salt from like your... That was just skin, skin

juices. Yeah. That's lovely. More inventions! I know you can get this one. The hint is in the name. Treadmill. We all know what treadmills are. Go to the gym, do a little jog on the treadmill. Maybe you have a treadmill in the basement that you never use just sits in the corner collecting dust All right, Wade you and I both know what the we're not gonna say it We got to get our bullshit jokey answers out correct answer put off So that's we know what treadmills are but when William cubit invented the treadmill in England in 1818 what did he think it was going to be used for? Let me ask you a question Bob. You ever had a wart? Sure. I cut one off with toenail clippers

and used like a pair of like needle-nose pliers and yanked it out. What the fuck? Yeah I hate that story. The treadmill full speed you just sand that thing right off! That's why it was infinite. Did you really do that? He told that story on this podcast before it was terrible. I awful never came back Because you did that and the war was like fuck this dude. Oh my god. I'd rather just stay dead It grabbed its bubble wrap wrapped up its belongings and moved away actually sells insurance for Liberty Mutual now Every now that I hear my hand away. Actually sells insurance for Liberty Mutual now. Every now that I hear my hand, liberty, liberty, liberty. Funny thing about a word that I had a while ago, I had a word during COVID, like it was on my thumb and it wasn't bothersome. Or maybe I've had it longer,

it's like a tiny little thing. With all of the hand sanitizer that I was using during COVID, especially on set. It just died. It died. It straight up just couldn't take it anymore. Cause I had been drowning it in like high percentage alcohol multiple times a day. And I'm not saying this is a good therapy because like it dries your hands out like crazy, but it didn't, it didn't affect anything else really. One day I looked down and I was like, oh, it's gone.

That shit's gone. So if anyone's curious about four or five, six months of straight, high alcohol percentage hand sanitizer, it'll kill about anything. Hot skin tips for Mark. That's probably a good one to keep and never use. Even before COVID, when I was working at United Dairy Farmers, the amount of times you have to wash your hands, like, you know, when you're working with food products, it's like you're

constantly washing, sanitizing, washing, sanitizing. It does affect the texture and stuff of your hands. So during the COVID time, and yeah, I don't know how often you had to do it, but I imagine that probably did a lot of things to your hands. You probably have eight extra fingers. No, they're pretty good.

They don't have to be on your hands. Where are you sanitizing? I got a book for you later, Mark, I'll show you. All right, cool. It's called, it's called everybody things. Oh god. We can remove it with a chainsaw, just bend over. God.

Mark, why was the treadmill invented? And please give me something that's not gross, because I'm pretty sure the title of this episode is just gonna be Yuck. Yuck. Gah. God. Alright, well... Then babies need to get walking soon.

So as soon as they're out of the womb, you know after you've chainsawed and caught him on the bubble wrap You just send him right on the treadmill and they get crawling or they get dying You know, yeah, you want strong Sparta actually This was invented in Sparta right around the time they filmed the movie 300 sure sure the historical one Not the not the remake the catapult not as useful as you'd think for trying to aim it, but a treadmill at the right speed, you put something on there, it could be a lot more accurate with where you're aiming. So you put your little bomb or whatever on your treadmill and just, and it goes. Whereas you don't have to manually wind it like the catapult treadmill gets your bomb to the right spot.

I feel like if the treadmill existed in a powered form, you could probably use it to wind the catapult automatically. Oh, that's dumb. Got it. No, no, no, no. That's, that's stupid. The real reason was when they made the Pope mobile, the Pope got really mad cause he couldn't move anywhere while he was moving. And he was like, I'm moving, but I'm not moving. And so they gave him a treadmill so he could feel like he was walking so he didn't get confused as to why he was moving around

and he wasn't moving. So that made him mad and they made that for him. Who wants to wipe these days whenever you can have something that automatically goes between the cheeks, not only wipes, but removes hemorrhoids at the same time. Weirdly made by the same guy that made that chainsaw. It was really focused in the crack. Alvin, Simon and and Theodore whatever their names were yep that was it Scottish Scottish

names true true Alvin Simon and Theodore I was gonna make fun of you but that was fine actually that's a good good act you know what good Scottish accent good job thank you I don't think anyone from Scotland will think so but I'm glad you do do you guys want to know which one of you was closer? Well, I think we both know what the real answer is. Honestly, it's a pretty tough call, because I think either of you is very close. Well, no, we were... No, it's for milling grain. It's for you to run around and you mill.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding mark wins! We set it aside! We were gonna be all stupid, like we don't know, but we knew. Right, Wade? We knew. Yeah. Pink treads. What'd you say, Grain? Grain. Well, we flint-stoned tanks, you know. Okay, so Mark actually did know. I'm not surprised. You're surprised. Anyway, it was punishment for prisoners. They walked on the treadmills and their walking powered the Grain. The giant Grain grinding wheel thing. Grain will have unlimited power.

Palpatine at the grain mill is first job. Apparently the prisoners didn't care for it. So sentiment on treadmills has not changed very much over the centuries. You put a treadmill in a prison now and the prisoners just start hissing and they don't know why. Like a kangry cat seeing water. Kangry? You know, cat angry. Yeah, kangry cat. Kangry.

Now the elliptical, definitely for childbirth. Yeah, I could see that. I could see that, yeah. All right, I wanna do one more. I like this one because it's funny and I have a suspicion that the story is barely true, but technically true. Credit cards. We all know credit cards. Pretty much everyone has a credit card. If you're an adult, you almost have to have a credit card. It's pretty hard to get by on just cash anymore. So, clearly credit cards are for paying for stuff.

But why did Frank McNamara invent the credit card in the 1950s? I remember this. You know this one? I actually know this one. You know this one? I know this one. I really do. Wade, do you want to get any joke answers in before I...

Oh, you know, it's pretty easy. You know odd job from Bond, how he throws his hat? Well, the hat was a little bit too obvious, so they needed something sharp and tiny that could fit like in a wallet so to speak so the Credit card was the perfect like throwing weapon it didn't look very dangerous But man could it cut through your finances and a throat so they invented the credit card after they invented credit card Shut up

Anyway it what I think this is I'm not remembering the details perfectly But it was part of an advertisement campaign for some department store. They sent out in the mail coupon-like card things, and it was like, if you bring this into a store, this counts as a line of credit. It was an idea that wasn't really for a national system of credit across the way, but it was something for a specific one store, did it for an advertising campaign, and so many people brought it in, and it was so incredibly popular, that they were like, hey, wait a minute,

maybe there's something to this, and then they started actually expanding the idea, and then opening up real lines of credit, because all it did was tie it to like, this is your account, and they would send it to someone, and they'd individualize for that account, and then people were like, I've never heard of this concept before,

but sure, I'll go and see if I can actually have free money, and it worked. No, that's stupid. So drug dealers didn't wanna have their money confiscated in briefcases. So they actually came up with the credit system, keep track of who owed who what. And that way whenever the fuzz was low,

they knew they could make their cash deal. That's how Bitcoin started. The modern day credit card that's definitely not usually mostly a scam always. Because if there's one thing drug dealers Don't mind is people not paying immediately They're cool with later. I've heard they're very chill about that. They used to be honorable Remember the mafia Vito Corleone before Michael took over he was all like we respect you Vito

We know you're a man of your word cuz your word was your bond old style criminals different than these new criminals kids these days Criminals not the same as our criminals those children child criminals out there damn and oh no respect Yeah, boomer criminals are much better than these Jennifer's or whatever they are I hope that's the next generation. I like it. I don't know what F stands for but I like Jennifer's fucking kids I hope that's the next generation. I like it. I don't know what F stands for but I like jet F'ers. Fucking kids. Yeah, no, that's because yeah, it's because you can relate to the generation. It's a generation of fucks. Yeah. I think Mark is closer, but there's my version which may yours might be as true or truer than mine.

My version is different in some of the details, but somehow also Wade was kind of correct with your drug dealer joke. I knew it So the story that I got is that Frank McNamara went out to dinner and he Forgot his wallet at the restaurant and he had a bunch of cash in his wallet because if he didn't have cash He didn't have nothing and he got his wallet back eventually But all the cash was gone and he was like, man, see? So he invented the diners club card, which was originally a card only meant for a handful of kind of exclusive New York City restaurants

so that businessmen could go out and like take their clients out or go out with their wife or whatever. And they didn't have to have cash with them. So in case they got really drunk before they drove home and they forgot their wallet, they wouldn't lose any cash cash it was just a card and they could just go get the card back from the restaurant and so it was originally the diners club card was meant for like a small just a handful of places and it grew and grew and grew because it was so basically your story mark it was so convenient and successful everyone was like we should

use this for everything. And then they did. But yours, honestly, like I said, this sounds very like some guy dreamed this up and was like, yeah, I'll say I invented the credit card. Yeah, see. And yours is probably just as true. These are the things that probably happened around the same time or one inspired the other or whatever. Who knows? Grain. What? Grain. That was treadmill never mind. Thanks for playing along we started out with just about the most shocking thing we could so all the rest of these seemed way less interesting but- My taint hurt when you talked about the chainsaws and it still aches. Was pretty sure that

wasn't true but I looked up then it seems to be true and I just hate that that's a fact about things in the world because what the fuck is wrong with people? Did it work? You know what in all the looking I did I never read far enough in any article to see if it was a successful tool in extracting any children from their now deceased mothers. I assume. It was so brutally ineffective they sent them deep into a forest. They're like, you know what? You're gonna live here far away from the population and that's when they started cutting down trees to find their way back Just a guy. This is a

Going from room to room in a maternity ward. Just like Another one's dead. All right, let's try this again. Let's try this again. I laugh It's supposed to be reassuring, like I'm giggling hard. I'm trying to prepare them for the fun of a new child coming into the world, you know? Yeah, they dress like a clown, so the first thing the newborns would see would be a happy clown. I slam the door open to get everyone's attention so we know it's about to begin. The clouds outside of a failed Uberly, oh I try so hard to be happy. I gotta keep up. I gotta keep moving whoo kick open the door

The truth History of the horrifying clown troop. I hear everything about that. That's awesome. Wade you earn points for oh Wait that goes on mark side. All right mark. What'd you earn points for? Wait, you didn't earn you didn't earn points for that. That's, Mark, what'd you earn points for? Wait, you didn't earn points for that. That's not yours, sorry. Mark, you won points for not cutting a ward off with toenail clippers and using hand sanitizer instead, and you got points for...

Good... Lymphs. Good... Ah, shit. Something about credit cards. Oh, that says credit cards. Wow, no, it does not. It's supposed to say credit cards.

Wade, you earned points for being an asshole unabashedly. It's something about credit cards. Oh, that says credit cards. Wow, no, it does not. It's supposed to say credit cards. Wade, you earned points for being an asshole unabashedly, knowing about spring barley for some reason, bubble wrap. Oh, the guys who got fired for bubble wrap wrapping their belongings in bubble wrap. Herbert Hoover, doing a good Scottish accent and then Grain.

You apparently just certain points for Randomly saying words for no reason during the episode test. We've really lowered the bar for me over the Did you say a coherent word? He said a whole word mom get the camera Anyway, how many bonus points will there be? Do you know what you're adding to the wheel? Oh, I have to do that still Too all right we get two bonus points, and I still have to add something to the wheel should be best Scottish accent They have to do it right there on the spot. I

Really like that so we get two wheel spins spin number one oh Had the best time I I didn't. I did not either because of the poop. I had a bad time. I didn't because of the chainsaw. Well, is that a re-spin then? Everyone had a bad time? Is that what we're deciding? I did not have the best time. Alright, that's a re-spin. Unless Bob did. You want you want point Bob I didn't have a good time I'm still throwing my throw up because we talked about the play-doh eating respin drop the most items didn't drop a damn thing I didn't even drop anything and that's my thing I do all right that's one. Alright, that's a re-spin. There's a lot of points up for grabs.

I need to eat, drop something, and do songs real quick. Loudest. Alright, one of you was definitely the loudest. He did do his Scottish accent. I will say. I would say Wade gets to be the loudest.

Alright, one more spin. Feels like we've already had too many but we haven't Hey Shirt closest to background. Damn it. Oh fucking god No, look, I we can call it. It's it's mark, right? It's marks flesh weights wearing weights wearing a red shirt and has a gray black background. Mark is wearing, it's a white shirt, but it's got some skin toniness to it because it's kind of opaque almost. I think if I did the calculations this would be closer. I think Mark gets this one.

I am fine with that. I think that's true. Thank you. But I would love to see the numbers. Yeah, Mark, can you just throw that together real quick? I don't want to do the numbers. You want to win, don't you? And that is two bonus points. Wade, you earned a total of seven points.

Mark, you earned a total of nine points. Yeah! Wait, so if I'd gotten both of those bonus points, it would have been a tie. Yeah, it was really close to actually being a tie there. Could have been. Mark, run the numbers. If you had dropped anything or sung a song or anything that whole time, could have stolen that away from him.

That's... there were a lot of opportunities. I just gotta remember him. I need someone to give me the wheel. Yeah, we need- we need like a cheat sheet. And at the start of every episode, we all need like 30 seconds to just be like, just do a bunch of random shit. Like, okay. Those are my points I've chosen for this episode.

Merch? That can be your loser speech. How about that? Oh, okay. Which is now. I meant to imply. It's right now. Merch? Alright, Mark, winner speech. Hi, merch! Coming soon. We have designs in the works, we have different blanks in, actually, they're in.

Oh! We're ready to rock for more merch coming at you real soon. Have a lovely time, thank you for this victory. That's how a winner gives a speech, Wade. Merch. Thank you so much for watching and or listening to this show. Make sure you follow the podcast because then you won't miss them because I know you didn't watch last time, which is offensive.

Follow us. Our names are on screen. And if you're a listener, not a watcher, I guess you don't get to know them. That's it. Thanks so much for listening and watching and all that stuff. That's the end. Mark will host the next one. And he's awesome.

You know, at this point, after all this merch built up and we launch it and no one buys it, we'll just delete the podcast. Merch. That suits like a gamble. I don't know. We'll just delete it. I don't know if we should stake that much on...

I really love deleting things. Merch. It's all fun and games until you try and delete the thing I'm a part of. Wait, we didn't agree to this. Hang things. Merch. It's all fun and games until you try and delete the thing I'm a part of. Wait, we didn't agree to this, hang on. Merch. You haven't heard the ticking of the clock this whole time?

Merch. I go back and look and every podcast ends with the spiral and the tick tock and the, wait, no, no. Sorry, man. Anyway, podcast out!