Distractible - Aliens Among Us (Part 2)

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

It's time to once again venture into the great unknown world of tic-tac ships and octopuses/octopi, and see if the recent UFO Congressional hearings mean that there truly is life elsewhere in our universe... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This week, it's an out-of-this-world experience. We know Wade rejects soundproofing and wants to discuss senatorial probing, ain't or no. Skeptical Mark discloses the true and terrible origin of octopuses and their ilk.

God Mode Bob stands for your entertainment, but misses his buttcheeks being cupped. From horny comments to scenic Cincinnati. Yes, it's time for Aliens Among Us, Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. I think that's how patents work Patented Can we edit before I take this off Nah nevermind Anyway as you can tell I'm joined as always by my co-host Mark and Bob hey Hey

I'm standing up get ready for a lot of this Bob's joined Doing the distractible challenge Where every time we film he's going to have a new Background from now on you'll never know Where we'll be I got one of those green screens so I could do that but i don't feel like it well i did and i somehow ended up in a toilet so you still don't have foam behind you i don't want to like

call you out completely but didn't you say several weeks ago i ordered stuff it was the wrong stuff i ordered more stuff i've got it why didn't you just like put the wrong what do you mean the wrong stuff it's foam right it's just black foam yeah but aesthetically it wasn't going to be pleasing to me well then why didn't you just put it up temporarily because i didn't like it well i don't like the way it sounds i'm with you no it's on to something here i'm feeling it so you have piles of foam dude i've got like eight piles of foam. Just sitting away from where you are? You could keep them in the...

Are they in the room where you are? No, no, no. They're down the hall. Why wouldn't you just bring them in the room? They would help. Because they were the wrong ones. Oh, my God. Where's your Bob?

Where's Bob's foam? I'm... Look, I'm in a... You guys need some laundry done? You know, I bet you could make the echo worse by opening all the cabinets and opening the washer and dryer, just really letting the resonance get in there.

Not like that. I bet just keep them open. Every time I talk, like, Good point, Mark! You know, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm great.

Oh, man. For everyone listening, Bob is in a laundry room, and I can't make fun of him for that because I have recorded many things in laundry rooms. They are actually pretty okay places to record. Usually they're full of laundry. Yeah. But they're nice contained spaces. They're usually like a smaller room in the place and

it is this one happens to have a shelf that's right the camera is right at like eye height that is also yeah i'm standing vertically straight up and this is like it's it's nice that was a tricky thing when i was on vacation was trying to find a sitting area where i could have a camera it or i wasn't holding it it was going like this the whole time you should have put it on like one of those gopro sticks and just walked around the whole episode if i ever bought one of those it would have stayed in the box i would have never seen it uh you're right hey when do i scream really loud that we're all gonna die um give me 45 seconds okay you got it i guess i didn't explain why we're all here uh we're here on the show because we host and that's our show.

If you want to know the rules, go watch a different episode. I don't feel like rehashing. We're too late in at this point. I'm a host. These guys will compete. One of them will host the next episode. Small talk time. How are you?

Yesterday night, I got to Cincinnati after doing 2,400 miles in three days. That's a lot of miles. That sounds awful. My butt hurts. It was actually fun, awful my butt hurts it was actually fun but my butt really hurts i should have been there to like welcome you back but i don't know where you live so we're all gonna die thank you mark uh is that your small talk yes yes yes you want to know why is it have to do with today's episode or something else microplastics oh no no no those are fine those

are incorporated into our dna and we're okay this is breaking news as of when we're recording this which is which as of when people are listening to this you might already be dead uh you just don't know it yet um so quote devil comet heading straight toward earth well how long i guess you know okay so first off the when will will be we'll know but it's a cryovolcanic meteor why will we know it's the devil comet so in the distance you'll just start to hear you just hear a banjo playing the headline i found says it grows horns. So I guess it is a horny comet. Anyway, it's a cryovolcanic meteor, which I think sounds super badass.

Okay, so there's a thing. The headline says head straight towards Earth. And in the article, the first sentence says we'll pass close to Earth. So I'm going to go with the headline as the truth here. Straight at that spot close to Earth. But it is. It underwent a cold volcanic eruption, which is strange. But it has horns. Yes, it does have horns.

It's going to pass a death-defying 144 million miles away. A mere inch in the scope of the universe. Yeah, as far as universe stuff goes, I don't know if that's close or not at all. How far away is the sun? That's as far as California is from, like, the UK, right? Okay, how far is the sun? 93 million miles. So it's slightly further from us than the sun is.

It's heading straight for us. But it's a very small cryovolcanic asteroid. Yeah. I mean, that sounds really cool. I want to see a cold volcanic eruption. Does it erupt snow? I don't

know. And I don't even have a picture of it. I don't even know if this is real. It's just a volcano and a guy standing next to it in a bunch of in a puffy coat and a hat and he's just all oh it's cold that's it man people who who uh are watching this on spotify must be really glad that we have the visual representation of this i rubbed my chest and i blew hot air in my hands he missed it it. All right. Anyway, that's my small talk, except it's probably not. If we do die, though, and no one ever hears this episode, you were so right.

Yeah. If we're dead all by the time people hear this, I was right. Do you get anything for being... You know what, Mark? Two points if you're right. If I'm right? Yeah. Future points.

Do you have other small talk? Because you said it wasn't your small talk. Um, so much has happened that I can't even remember what it was. Sounds fun. Well, that was fun to talk it through. All right. Well,

we're all going to die and Bob moved. That is the small talk. We have no other updates for you at this time. How many points do I get if I successfully move? Uh, I don't know what's fair. Like three. Oh,

you're the judge. Is that fair? All right. Three, three is fine. How many did I say? Didn't you already get points for moving? I could have sworn that the last time we did something there was like some points being aside for moving these are conditional points and also i already

successfully moved so i get the points oh hey three points or maybe this was points assigned in that mythical thing that doesn't exist anymore i don't know what you're talking about i don't think anybody knows what we're talking about i certainly don't but i'm gonna pretend like i do i have to say mark i'm gonna give you a bonus two points for going along with the theme for today thank you because we are all gonna die i'm gonna die give me big fancy hair dear editors for just a moment as i say aliens you know man really ask a lot of the editors you know just cut my hair out and put it on wait or marks i feel like that's even harder or you can just shave mark and make him bald for a minute give me his hair i don't care i feel like there is hair assets online that are already cut

out and transparent you want them to cut out my hair and your hair and put it on his head yeah cutting out my hair is really difficult i didn't say yours i said his you think his is you it's his is bob boop boop done wow have you made a thumbnail 2015 you don't make your thumbnails dude it's me do you think i do much i'm always busy but i never do anything i don't know how i had to google how to install adobe acrobat so like yeah i've not done thumbnails but enough about me let's talk about the hell's that uh aliens guys the congressional hearings on aliens happened and i didn't read anything into it so i don't know what the hell they said but apparently somebody important was like aliens the real so you're doing this whole episode just so we can tell you what happened instead of you going looking at an article i'm the host i decide what

we do that's such a good topic idea though you see a thing you're like oh that's so cool somebody would spend some time researching that for me and then tell me about it if only i had a way to learn about it so here we are wow oh man this is great but hey it'll be so easy for you to get points because i won't know if what you're saying is true or not you're right okay um well i'll kick it off by saying that the uh alien human hybrid breeding programs were probably the most interesting part of that hearing. Is that a thing? The deep analyses and terabytes of video content that were unleashed upon the unsuspecting people were really, really, really cool.

So we got alien hub? Oh. Clever. Not clever enough to make him laugh, but clever. Anytime I get a compliment, I take it. Okay. Well, I didn't watch the hearings. Well, Bob, you are going to win this episode so easily. You love space, Mark, and aliens come from space.

Well, they aren't intrinsically linked. Well, okay, they are, but, you know, they're not extrinsically linked for sure. Absolutely. They're XXX intrinsically linked. Extrinsically definition. Who, in a way that comes

from outside or is not related to someone or something. Aliens aren't people, so... You can't be extrinsically linked to anything because extrinsic things aren't related to things. I rest my case. You're not wrong, which doesn't mean you're right, but means you're not wrong. Being not wrong is extrinsically linked to being right.

Well, I didn't see the diagrams that you're talking about, Mark. Three points for sex. Your turn, Bob. Mine could have sex in it. But the part that I liked is these guys had already talked, but a couple like Army, Air Force, Naval people talked about their like experiences seeing alien ship type things. One, they insist on calling them uaps which is like unidentified

aerial phenomena instead of calling them ufos or whatever but i thought uap was the like birth control you had put into your arm what is that an iud that's it i thought those were bombs that does not go in your arm do you know what iud stands for internal urine distributor try again in underwear dick i don't know inebriated underarm dispenservitable universal diary. I don't think we need to fill them in on what it is because that's not the subject of today. Okay. Next time I host. It's going to be sex ed and teaching Wade all about the various ins and outs.

I get it. Dude, we had like one day of sex ed growing up and health class covered a lot more than sex. I have no idea. I thought girls had a third pee hole for forever. Remember? So like. You do remember that. That's true. Well well maybe we should team up and do an episode where we actually teach you what the birds and

bees are all about we did bobs and the bees we have not done birds yeah totally different topic what about aliens and the bees if that'll get you more interested sure two and a half bees bees so aliens right

Bob were you going to say something or did we get derailed? These guys had already talked, right? There were already a couple like military ex-military people who had talked about. They saw things. They saw little tic-tac ships while they were flying their jets and whatever. But I just love hearing them talk about it because it's like just has that vibe of like at any moment, any one of the congress people listening or anyone could have just been like i think he's making it up like it just has

this weird vibe to it right because it's a very official guy a military guy in a suit very straight lace like and he's just like yeah we were flying our jets you know on this heading at this speed and we we intercepted the object on the radar. And when we got there, it was this little tic-tac thing and it just took off and it traveled 30,000 miles in two seconds. And everyone was like, that's not visibly possible. But they tell the story like it's a recounting, you know, a military thing they did.

Like, it's like an official thing. But like everyone listening is just kind of like okay aliens right cool cool we're all here in this right oh just the whole vibe congressman asks such good questions we all saw during the tiktok hearings and the facebook hearings how how in-depth and detailed the congressional questions can get at these hearings. Just the whole vibe is like, feels surreal in a way that's very funny to me. Yeah, it is strange because at the end of the day, okay, this is what Congress is supposed to do, right? In an ideal world, Congress is supposed to represent the interests of the people right and if a lot of people are like hey are these real it's not strange to have

a hearing where everyone gets around like is it real here's the experts that say maybe or not let's get it all out in the open technically speaking that is what government is supposed to do it's supposed to open up these conversations now whether or not it's true is not what was determined in these hearings. It's just a platform for people to say things. Now, what those people do for a living or what they, what their jobs were before coming there is important to this, to like whether or not they actually have any validity to what they're saying. But that is where it's interesting because these three main people were all high ranking military officers. That doesn't mean automatically that you

should believe everything that they say, but it is interesting because if there were some thing out there, then the military would probably at least have a clue, right? They would at least have an idea. They're watching, you know, radars and systems and they're like literally you can hear the pilots going like what the fuck is that thing yeah that's weird jesus christ did you see that thing move and it's so weirdly normal right because it is it's exactly the footage from that movie about that thing too like the pilot is like whoa look at that are you guys seeing that it's like this is so painfully scripted like but that is how people are that is like literally if you'd think that it would be like oh what like youtuber reacting in your fighter

pile like oh my god like she's in the thumbnail phase oh that's how i make my thumbnails but uh no it's just like wow and then people recount it, we saw some shit, but I don't know what it was. I don't know. He claimed that they recovered non-human biological stuff, too, at one point. No, I like that, too. There are a couple exchanges, and this is paraphrasing, but there were a couple exchanges where the congressperson is like looking at the guy who's recounting his story about alien stuff. And the congressperson is just like, so did you,

did you have like contact with the alien that was like piloting this thing or what? And the, and the military guy's like, yeah, yeah, we did recover some wreckage. Um, and we did, uh, we did look inside and we, we did discover some non-human biologicals. And the congressperson's like, so aliens, he's like non-human biologicals. And the congressperson's like, so, aliens. And he's like, non-human biologicals. Could you say it, man?

Come on. Which could be anything. Like, technically, animals are non-human biologicals. You open up the spacecraft and there's just a sunflower. It's like, what the fuck? All aliens are flowers flowers it's that sunflower from that tiktok where it's strapped onto a post in a tornado and it's all

just wanted to fly around a little bit i love your visual references today bob you you just so much more so much more physical when i'm standing up guys i know i know that's that just convinced me that i need to go back to recording let's play a standing desk because i can do this i just get so tired i know my feet hurt i even have like a pad that's like all for my feet but it's still like oh man i'm so tired i don't want to do that luckily should invent a kind of chair that you strap onto your legs that hold them in a straight upward like position and then cup your cheeks. And so you can be like sitting, but also you're like standing. I'm looking it up. Standing chair.

What if it's designed with like two giant skinny arms coming up and just grabbing your cheeks? Oh, even better. It's a thing that you install in the floor and you just squat over it and it's all. Oh my God, it it exists i found it i'm gonna buy it immediately i'm i'm wait hang on is this something that costs like eighty dollars on amazon or like nine thousand dollars on kickstarter i only saw the picture just now so let me hold on a second kickstarter the standing chair if students were meant to be stitting, we already would be. This is a priceless invention.

It allows you to do all things at all times. Behold, stitting! So this has the vibe of like, because there are wheelchairs for people with disabilities that basically do this, but it's a much more, you're like strapped in and it's secure because it's generally for people who are paralyzed or otherwise unable this has the vibe of like a guy saw those wheelchairs and was like how can i get one of those they could also combine this with like a segue and have it like automatically take you around too oh no dude you gotta put you gotta put a mount for a swag way on it so you just get the little two-wheel thing in the back

and then when you sit on it you got little get the little two-wheel thing in the back and then when you sit on it you got little bars that you pull what happened to all the old were they called swag ways is that what it was that's one of the big brands wasn't it i thought or is that because like those didn't those have highly explosive volatile batteries that people definitely did not throw away properly yeah no there's like landfills around the world filled with exploding suegway batteries 100 oh yeah exactly alien batteries oh right aliens we're talking about aliens aliens would be down with stitting i'm pretty sure aliens love stitting all they do is stit how do they distinguish between talking about unidentified aerial phenomenon that are

extraterrestrial versus like i don't know uh bolivia made an airship that's different than we've ever seen or something well i think that's kind of the point of the classification right initially you get something and you're like we don't know what this is it's an unidentified aerial phenomenon but then you know you look at photos or whatever and you're like oh actually it's just a drone but this one they looked at and they were like oh it's a big flying tic-tac okay so ufos are still a thing but uaps are a section of ufo that's alien i would say it's the other way around yeah uaps encompass all ufos because they're all as if they fly they're airborne phenomenon that are unidentified but all uaps are not ufos there are other things that can

be unidentified aerial phenomenon what if aliens can't fly and they just have really amazing slingshot technology and they like rear it back and just like an angry birds based race i think i saw that angry birds in space i do believe that was a documentary there's a planet way the hell far away just flinging red orbs around every once while we see one and astronomers are like whoa is that a devil asteroid holy shit well tell me more boy go ahead mark uh with this tic-tac thing that is a common theme that everyone seems to be which is interesting because we went from flying saucers to tic-tac shape things now why would there have been a shift in the general understood mentality of like a saucer versus a tic-tac shape because those are extremely different shapes it is very

unlikely that one would be mistaken for the other and why suddenly when there's actually like fighter jets encountering whatever these uaps are why are they suddenly in a tic-tac shape well maybe 70 years ago they were you like the saucer shape but they've been going so fast for so long, it like stretched them out. And now they're tic-tac-shaped from all the overuse. He's got it. He's cracked the code. He's done it. I like to imagine that the way humans view UFOs is just a perfectly accurate

timeline and history of the development of this other species spacecraft. So, they used to have saucers, but then Glorplo developed a new kind of fusion drive and it requires a different sort of radiation shield. And so, they had to move to sort of a more oblong shape and they got tired of the polished chrome look because that's a little much. So, they went to more of like a matte, like, I don't know look because that's a little much so they went to more of like a matte like i don't know maybe that's just how it works look at our spacecraft like they haven't changed that much if i'm honest but if you go from like the early rockets to like the

space shuttle that's kind of interesting it's just an airplane strapped onto a rocket but it's interesting yeah it's interesting they could have gone through technological advancement i'm sure that they have they have they have discovered aliens surely embody the glory that is capitalism and have companies and corporations that are innovating and competing all all year long well if they're that advanced they probably don't because their society still exists you don't think they have they have a fantastical billionaire named Glilon Bluss who operates Space Y and makes very aesthetically pleasing interstellar spaceships while he poorly manages their Chirp Chirp app? Well, they made most of their advancements when he was working with Glil Glates, but now they're not working together anymore. A lot of Gs in this alien language. But it really latched on to just a

couple consonant sounds and stuck with them but the basics is most of what was talked about in these hearings i believe was just the idea that there was this uh reverse engineering program around recovered crashed whatevers they never said that they were definitively aliens they never said they were definitively from another planet or anything like that there was nothing definitive out there but they did kind of definitize that there was a recovery program which doesn't what does that mean like unsubstantiated by like official government statements or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. They basically did say the US government is in possession of, I think, more than one crashed UAP ship of some sort, craft item, whatever. Yeah.

So, they have wreckage and are doing the thing that they did in that Will Smith movie where they open it up and try and figure out how it works and whatnot. and then create a computer virus that could really just like bone over all of those super advanced alien computers definitely for sure maybe that's why they're pill-shaped it's like a bus or an airplane so they can have more passengers maybe like maybe we're the zoo for the aliens so they get on their little pill-shaped ships and they come and they fly by to see us dude that's a recurring nightmare that I have. You know, the Futurama episode where Fry and Leela get the like free vacation to the, to the planet.

That's like the, the, you know, the pleasure planet where the robots are full service and they give you anything you want. They're actually just in an exhibit in a zoo where it's like the human exhibit on some other planet that some, some species it's like the ape planet or some other planet that some some species it's like the ape planet or the monkey planet and they all go and walk through and see them doing stuff i mean if there were aliens they and you know they were here just to observe why wouldn't they take some back just to be like hey look at these weirdos hey look at those weirdos and they got their haul of aliens here like why not we're the aliens to them. Some of them would definitely be like those people, right?

Where you're at the Grand Canyon and there's all these signs that are like, don't pick up rocks and take them with you. It destroys the environment. Some of them would be like, let's pull over by this cornfield and suck a couple of hicks up with a tractor beam on our way out.

No one will miss them. I'd like to think they don't have a tractor beam, actually, and they just lower a rope down, and they're like, come on! It's got a hook in the end, and with, like, a twinkie on the hook, and it's just like, come on! Come on, grab it!

Got one! And then they yank it up really hard. What if it's the car extended warranty people, and the people that fall for that are the ones they take back? So all spam callers are from aliens? Is that what you're suggesting? I'm not not saying that.

All right. Okay. Anyway. Aliens. Aliens. So you know what is alien? Octopi. I think they're earth creatures.

No, no, no, no. They're aliens. Go on. They're aliens. Okay. Expound. Oh, expound.ound okay i was making a statement no no so octopiece pussies octopussies octopussy octopussum octopussums uh so octopussums they basically have really weird genetics yeah they have tentacles dude and they spit ink exactly this is this is exactly what i'm saying octopussies are weird they have stop wait you say that so

unsure of yourself that's what makes it funny the shame in your voice is what made me laugh octopus anyway octupi have many more genes than humans right so we have about 23 000 something like that genes they have 33 000 i don't know if that's the most uh what species has the most genes it's octopi we had 33 000 it is octopi they have the most complex genome of any creature and they're and i'm and i'm sure that there's like there's history to them you can trace back and they are earth-based um for sure they're not really aliens but there's a reason why a lot of like mythology revolves around uh like tentacled creatures and like cthulhu is like a great you know tentacled beast from the deep or whatever or something like that but their their ability to exercise these genes and their complexity of structure is just of another level that very few other organisms on Earth can even compare to.

Their ability to manipulate so many different appendages, like with dexterity, their intelligence versus their size and even their neurological structure is incredibly diverse their ability to camouflage themselves by making exerting changes on their skin at the speed at which they are and the control at which they are are really really impressive feats uh not only in the environment that they're in but also just like the fact that it's just like this this just came about and i'm not saying like it's like they're in, but also just like the fact that it's just like this, this just came about. And I'm not saying like, it's like, they're just automatically aliens here. But what if, here's a thought, here's a thought experiment. What if a few million years ago, there was a crashed alien ship that had non-human biologics inside of it. And then it crashed into the ocean or something like that. And then that DNA basically spilled out into the ocean. It was that and then that dna basically spilled out into the ocean it was

eaten and anything like some things ate it and probably died and some things ate it and they just moved on but those fragments of dna might have spilled out into the oceans and then led and influenced the evolution of certain creatures that led to these weirdly progressed and advanced offshoot of a species that was octopuses. It did it again. Also, we all know what is clearly the best shape container

to put octopuses inside of. Tic-tac-shape. Oh my God. Right? You know what, Mark? Like 37 points for cracking the code. Yes! Well, I put the tic-tac thing together.

How much is that worth? You know what, Bob? 37 points for cracking the code. Oh, yeah. We did it, Mark. We did it together. No, I'm sad. I'm not laughing.

Shut up. This is how I cry. So this isn't my theory, but I just want to say that. I didn't just come up with this and I'm not some either crazy person or genius, depending on how right this is. But this was kind of a thing. There was a project called the Octopus Genome Project, which was to break, like, same with the Human Genome Project, to, like, analyze all the genes that are in the human sequence or in the octopuses sequence octopuses sequence that's worse somehow well yeah no they they have like a lot of genes a lot of them they got a lot of them you said we have 23 000 so they have like basically a third more 50

percent or even well we're two-thirds yeah we're two thirds of them uh okay well that's okay this is unhelpful because i don't know what's correct anymore it says there's a hundred thousand human genes and i'm like okay what's i just googled that that's a dramatically different number that's a very different number uh how many genes in octopus okay so that's the same number as before but that's quoting the same article that I saw. Okay, this says it has 162 million protocaderen genes. Huh? No, no, 162 multi-exotic protocaderen genes.

Sorry. Oh. Ah. What is, what? I don't know. Either way, oct, cepalopods are weird. So this says there's 25,000 in Homo sapiens. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Apparently water fleas have one of the most complex genomes. Huh? According to who, science? According to Google, people also ask. Ah, well, they always know. Granted, that was news 13 years ago. Well, so look, can I just pose a question then? Sure. This is all very interesting discussion, getting back to the congressional hearing, right? And presumably, we're a big country, but we're not the only country in the world who's probably encountered these things, UAPs, whatever.

If they exist and they're flying around, they probably don't only come to where Americans are. If our government did recover some alien craft and non-human biologic, is it a huge deal that they did that in secret? in biologic. Is it a huge deal that they did that in secret? Or are people just, you know, nosy Nancys who really want to know what's going on, but like the government probably doesn't know what's going on with it either. It's a bunch of guys standing around like poking, you know, whatever, like putting, just holding pieces together. Like, yeah, this looks like, what about this? Is that that something i don't know

that just looks look is this a big deal because when i hear this it's cool but ever a lot of people out there like they're lying to us and but it's like they kept a secret but also what are they going to tell us yeah we have an alien no we don't know how it works that's it i saw a post where someone was talking about how other governments around the world have come out and talked about this stuff in the past it's just we don't have government collaboration on it so therefore it seems like a big deal especially when the u.s does something because they're the ones that i don't know we hear about being here in the u.s i don't know i kind of feel the same way about aliens as i do ghosts like i

that's not entirely true. I believe aliens exist. As far as aliens being here, you'd think like, I don't know, farmer John or tick tock Alice or somebody would encounter them other than the government. So they would have had something to share about it. That's more definitive than just like weird ass dot in the sky.

And with ghost footage, it's the same thing. Like it's fun to look at but like i've not seen anything to show me that an alien's been here or ghost's been here and you can show me a tic-tac-y thing in the sky but it's like that doesn't tell me much isn't it telling or maybe just interesting to you at all that the government is not any more or less specific about it because like with ghosts as your example right there are tons of people who go ghost hunting who get footage of things and are like, look, look at that. That's an orb. You can see it. And there's like, clearly there's something in the footage that you could see

that is difficult to explain or maybe completely explainable. But the government would look at that and be like, we don't think that's ghosts. Sorry. We think that's an artifact or something. But with the aliens, even the government is like, it was like a ship, like a tic-tac shaped thing. And then it went so fast. They're not saying, no, we didn't see it. But they're also not saying, like, we know what's happening. We know what this is. They're saying the same shit that the farmer says, where it's like, I don't know.

How did it do that? Sure, I find it interesting. It's just not, i'm not convinced because the strangest thing though is we kind of have verified footage of something we don't know what that something was right there's the whole branch and we've kind of talked about this before where we have at least on the government and military level technology that is not available or known to the general public. Trump basically did this when he showed those satellite images and was like, look at this enemy base. And then everyone looked at the pictures and was like, wait, we don't have tech that can zoom that much from a satellite, do we? And then everyone was

like, oh, well, I guess we do actually. So there's plenty of technology that any country of sufficient development in the in the world would have secret and not share with anyone else unless it's like a very small ring. And if there's one thing I've discovered from my experience with YouTube is that sometimes it's very easy for an organization to get so big that they don't even know what's going on in another department that is in the same building as them. And that is very true for YouTube. And therefore, the government being as large as it is, there is no way that everyone in the government, even at the highest level, knows what's going on in another. They represent us, man. They have to know. They're all competent, brilliant intelligent people yeah because what if you are like testing an experimental craft and it's like tic-tac-shaped and you're from some department and you go boom from all

right command we're we're doing the you look out your window and you see a like a fighter jet and you're like oh shit what do i do what do i do i don't know what do you do get out of there where where no not there go the other way oh he sees me he's locked onto me oh just just go go go max speed max speed but i have you tested just get out of there and then out of there and that's some other military department and that's totally plausible i i would believe that except maybe they're speaking russian when that conversation's happening but it still could happen no i think it's cool i think it's interesting but like until there's like something that's like in front of me that is without a doubt an alien creature

walking around like i don't know smoking an alien cigarette flying an alien craft hard for me to be like dude aliens they're definitely here i think they definitely exist i don't know that they're definitely been here well uh wait i have terrible news because i just got word that this topic has been covered in many many movies um so you're just stealing again from independence day alien aliens close encounters um man there's just a lot of movies that you are stealing from today and that is not cool we actually fully plagiarized episodes 3 17 and 39 of the x-files and i think we've done a podcast episode about aliens before but this was like new news on it so i want to talk about the new stuff so i mean i'm even plagiarizing our own content at this point so maybe i've stolen so much information for this episode that it makes it unique and that it's just pure thievery uh we'll leave that up to

the subreddit but i would i would get your affairs in order yeah the subreddit really never has your back when i wouldn't expect it to jump to your defense on this one either well just to be safe i guess i'll have my affairs in order am i gonna be executed for this can i have your house since i live so close do you want to move again can i have your house i'll move back to cincinnati if you're dead oh yeah do that mark has to move back if he does but then he gets the house you know i'll add you guys to the list but I feel like maybe my wife should be, I don't know, up there. She doesn't need a whole house. She doesn't need a whole house. Well, if I'm dead, you guys can try to make it

distract the house or something. Sure, why not? You know, good luck. Alright. Not my problem anymore once I'm gone. I don't care. Until the alien ghosts get you, and then they're gonna bring you back around and torture you forever. What if that was our first actual encounter of both was an alien ghost? Dude, have you guys seen that movie?

Have you seen the animated movie Final Fantasy? I did, yeah. That was a very controversial movie for the animation techniques that they used, I think, back when it came out. But I actually really enjoyed that movie back in the day. Ghost aliens. It didn't really land for a lot of people because it was like really out there but i liked it yeah i mean yeah it was definitely weird but i just i remember watching it and while i was watching i was kind of like what's happening now but then it finished and i was like yeah shit what is what i

thought final fantasy was a video game series what is this no it's a movie which i don't actually know if it has any affiliation to the game franchise at all i think it does but i don't know what interesting it has ghost it has ghost aliens galeans or elosts i like elosts keep working on that the walking a lead no you don't have to right now. You can work on that later. Dallians. Keep working. Zemblians. Work harder.

Eliambis. Change. Elytans. Change. Gellians. Change. Scallions. Change.

Ah, you know, Aeltasms. Phalians. Phalians. Oh, you can't change yourself. You're Aeltasms. Aeltasms. Phalians. Oh, you can't change yourself. You're Aeltasms. Aeltasms. That was the one. You got there. Octopuslians.

Oh, yeah. Aeluses. Alussi. All right. We got there. We got there. So what were we looking up? Did we win? Did we win?

Did we win? I believe you were in the middle of saying that I am the winner, probably. Oh, okay. Was that right, Mark? I was looking up property in Cincinnati, so I must have overlooked. I can hate you. I was. I was.

I really was. Sure, yeah. Just to see you could say that to me later and be like, oh, man. I was looking up. No, I was. I'll share my screen right now. I was. really was sure yeah just to like just to see you could say that to me later and be like oh man look at that no i was i'll share my screen right now i was i was see oh 7.9 million dollars what we got here lark you you get the middle part, and then Wade and I each get a wing for our families. Is that the idea? I was thinking that we all just move in. Dude, no.

No, 12 bathrooms. I can't do it. I'm out. I can't. No. Oh, look, we can stare at the ceiling here. That'd be good. Oh, that'd be a dope podcast room.

Can you imagine? We'd be so gentlemanly. 20,000 square feet. Okay. It's got a dope podcast room. Can you imagine? We'd be so gentlemanly. 20,000 square feet. Okay. It's got a large chicken coop. I'm sorry. Is that a closet with a table in it? Of course.

Your closet doesn't have a table? Oh, I mean, yeah, obviously they do, but that's just a smaller table that I'm used to. I love that their home gym has empty space. Like that's strange. That's for their jazzercise class, Mark. I feel like you could make the craziest movie in this place. What is that? Is that a wine cellar? That's a wine cellar.

Well, you have to have enough for all 12 bedrooms. Oh, yeah. Bearcats. Go, Bearcats. Alright. I mean, I'm with you on that one. Okay. Ooh, a mahogany pool room. Oh, revealing personal photos of who lived here. Oh, they're so blurry. Wow, weird.

Well, now that you've shared it on the podcast, Mark, someone watching is going to buy this $8 million estate before you do. I don't know. This is our second podcast room for when we get thirsty and hungry. You buy it and we'll share ownership. We'll split it three ways. All right, guys, everyone listening up. We need to take Distractible to the next level. We have to make this the Distractible house. This is look, it's got statues leading up to it. This is our dream. We need this. We need to work together so that we can live here and all of our fans will be able to congregate on the lawn

When we record if we get this house, we're all winning. We're all winning all of us It's got a golf course and a pond! It's at least got one green. It's got a golf pad I love that. I love you know guys know I love- it's got a swan! I love that. I love, you guys know I love, it's got a swan. I swear this place is a level for Roller Coaster Tycoon. This is like the Sims house that you make the first time you turn off money limitations and you're just like. There is no way that's the front.

Is this a guest house? Is this a side house? It's got a separate barn? That's the chicken coop. It's got a butler barn, Mark. That's where you have your butlers. Of course, of course. Wow, a five-car garage, eight-horse barn?

It's kind of too basic. It's got a basketball attic. Is that in the barn? Oh, my God. This is a... This is Distractible Cult. There's a coop! Guys, this is where the Distractible Cult starts.

This is where we bring our future, and it'll protect us from the aliens because together we cannot be stopped. My God. Oh, there it is. Okay. That doesn't even show the barn. Yeah, where the hell is the...

Is that another property? Dude, all I can think about is the water damage. Who mowed this? There's just one guy who lives on a lawnmower by the time he gets to the other end it's sunday night and he goes back on monday morning it's going again do you see how like all the lines are pretty much going that way but on the top right it looks like something was going the other way is that aliens oh my god anyway uh this is an exquisite 17 acre private georgian estate with incredible rooms for entertainment distractible and dining a cook's

kitchen wine cellar movie theater or podcast zone is what we're gonna call it we have this we have to have this we have to do it it's 7.9 million we could probably work that down to a cool 75 uh last sold in 96 for 2 million that's i wonder how renovated the wiring and electricity i mean it'd probably be pretty cheap to rewire a 20 000 square foot place yeah what do you need like pliers and a roll of a gauge yeah yeah this is our future everybody everybody listening at distractible this is our future this is. Everybody listening at Distractible, this is our future. This is what we're going to work toward. We're going to start the Distractible Kickstarter for the Distractible cult headquarters.

You all can live in the barn. We'll all live in every other room. And we'll make the greatest content the world has ever seen. We're going to take the podcast world by storm. I want posters. I want flyers. I want social media campaigns. I want everyone rallying to this cause because it's a cause we all believe in.

I got to work on my wealthy laugh. By the time we move in there, Baltimore will be in the attic as well. And always haunting us with his voice that will permeate through the house. I hope you enjoy living there, dude. I hope it's a great house for you. We,

we, we, we, we, chef. Great hope it's a great house for you. Oui. Oui. Oui. Oui. Oui, chef. Great episode. Great episode. I'm looking at the numbers here, and I appreciate everything you had to say, Mark, but Bob did tell me a while ago he was in the middle of his victory speech where I'd given him the

win, and you never said otherwise, so I guess Bob wins. Oh. Because he told me he did. Take that, Mark. I could do a coin flip. I've got an actual coin now. What? I couldn't hear you.

Hang on. What are you saying? There's someone. No, no. Bob, are you being haunted? That doesn't sound right. No, I think the episode's over, Wynn. Oh, L-tasms are haunting your laundry.

Yeah, you win. Please. We already know your house is haunted, man. That's just the garage, So we're fine in here. I was checking to see if there's any attic access patches. There's not. So I'm perfectly safe. At least not ones you can see.

Yeah, well, because they're not there because I would see them if they existed. Unless they're made by aliens. Let's not mix them together. Okay. What we have is a classic demonic haunting. This is not an alien thing okay all right well fair enough um winner speech feels great to win you know i feel like i uh really stepped up my game setting wise you really won when you moved back to ohio i gotta be honest yeah no i won

because i'm standing firmly on the ground of the state where wade already lived and now i live here too you know i would give mark three wins for coming back to cincinnati and moving here i'll firmly on the ground of the state where Wade already lived. And now I live here too. You know, I would give Mark three wins for coming back to Cincinnati and moving here. I'll give you six wins. Give me six wins? Make it ten. How much is your house worth? I will give you 30 wins from my private

collection. Those are reserve quality wins. Whoa, aged wins? Ooh, that's tempting. I don't think I own that many. I can offer you six. I rallied the troops. I imagine that I'll probably get the funds into my personal account any minute now.

When does the Kickstarter close? Kickstarter closes in whenever people hear this, so you better hurry up. You're already late. The link is where you'd expect it to be. So let's make this house happen. It's not for me. It's for all of us.

Does anything else, Mark, for your loser speech? Is that it? That was it. Well, congrats to Bob. Congrats to us, I guess, for our future distractible estate. And, um, aliens. Did you do the hair thing again? Ah, it's okay.

Whatever. Uh, we have merch stored at distractiblepodcast.com. You can follow us individually. We have merch stored at distractiblepodcast.com. You can follow us individually. My Skirm, the big Ohio boy now, living that Ohio life. Markiplier, still in California or whatever. Minion777 or LordMinion777 also in Ohio, man.

Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will be hosting from who knows where. We'll find out. Not this room, I hope. It's really hot. Bob might be naked for the next hosting find out until then podcast out