Distractible - Animal Noises Too

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the high-volume trend with YSL Love Shine Plumping Lip Oil Gloss. Formulated for maximized volume and 24-hour hydration, this gloss delivers a non-sticky, ultra-thin, glass-like additive texture in every shade, from bold berry reds and pinks to breathtaking nudes. Shine on with YSL Love Shine Plumping Lip Oil Gloss. Visit yslbeauty.ca to elevate your lip game now. Good evening gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Distractable, this episode. Mania Mark the Barmy Baker demands brain work from the boys for finding fauna fanfares.

Brunching Bob builds an illicit empire, emulates Bird Base, noses Gavia Emma and Tyler's Termination. Wumbling Wade marvels at the man without fear, endures shitstorms, slaps hard and screams. From effusive eyeballing to outraged or tarionne. Heheheheh, it's time for Animal Noises 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted. And enjoy the show. Hi. Welcome back to Distractable. I'm so glad you're here.

It's so good to see you. I hope you're ready for a lot of eye contact, and a lot of ear contact, from your favorite host, Markiplier. That's M-A-R-K-I-P-L-I-E-R. You okay, man? People been misspelling your name or something recently? I'm great.

Oh, that sounds believable. What are you looking at as you say that? You? I'm looking right at you. Why are we down there? I don't know. why are you down there? Hey, let me move you. It's a little unsettling when you're like, I'm fine.

Can't you tell by the way I look at you? I'm fine. I'm so good. You sound fine. Guys, I want you to rate the sanity of the snack that I'm eating for lunch. It's a tortilla. Zero. That I'm eating for lunch. It's a tortilla. Zero.

That I'm tearing into chunks and then scooping little bits of cream cheese with and then rolling up into little cream cheese rolls. Give you a cannoli point. You want some? You're also gonna get the, oh man, you're also on the wheel for the eating the most already. Yeah, baby, yeah.

Okay, all right, tough challenge, tough challenge. So this is Distractable. You found the right place, you've chosen us versus any other podcast out there. Maybe you were scrolling Spotify and you were just like, Hey, I've never seen this one before. Why don't I give it a try? And here you are. And boy, howdy, you don't know what you're in for.

Heh heh heh. This is a game show where I judge the performance of my friends Bob and Wade here. I'm one of those two people. And the only reason I'm here to judge them because last episode I won by a clear sweeping almost tiebreaker victory. And so now I get to subject these two to my whims and my first whims is to tell you something that I should have talked about in the last episode of Small Talk because it's something that I did but Bob you reminded me of something that I did. This has nothing to do with the episode and this only has something that I'm proud of. I made bread. Oh successfully homemade breads really good. I had we were out of bread and I really wanted to make Nutella on toast. Just toasting bread and putting Nutella on it.

So of course, instead of going to the store and buying bread, I was like, making bread can't be that hard. And it turns out, usually when you say that, cosmically it means it will be the most arduous thing you've ever done in your life. But in reality, because we had bread flour and yeast already, so long as you have those things,

you can pretty much make bread. You could even do it with like, I never remember if it's baking powder or baking soda. You want soda, I think. Baking powder, baking soda in your nose. No, wait, hold on. I'm trying to remember the scary movie cocaine quote. I don't remember it.

All right. Good joke. That was almost a point there, Wade, but yeah, could have gotten it. But yeah, no I made bread So you made like a sandwich loaf. Did you put like a little honey in it or something? What do you what direction? No, it was it was a sweeter bread I found a recipe, you know the recipes online where you click there and then you have to scroll through a

Million pages to get to the the the actual recipe. Did you put the butt crack in the middle? I did not No, I didn't why does bread have a butt crack? Well, I could have, but you know, I accidentally made too much. See, I split the recipe in two for every ingredient except the liquid that's in there. So every dry ingredient was perfectly halved and I was like, perfect.

And it was either water or milk. And I chose milk because I have this like, higher protein milk. And I was like, God, I have a little extra protein in it it and I boiled two cups, but then I decided to have everything else So I was like perfect. Everything was halved. I did the math right. I double-checked it. Dump the whole two cups in there Guess I'm making more bread. So I rehabbed all the other ingredients And then I made a ton of bread and I proved it in In the oven at like 85 degrees. It's like 80 to 85 to 90

You can prove it in there and I I should have let it go tiny bit longer It was almost perfect, but it needed to prove just a bit more, but I made it and it was great It tasted delicious. It was really good. I couldn't believe it. I made bread How long did it take to make it? It took probably the mixing took about you know, 2025 minutes to get all the ingredients measured out and make a mistake and then fix it. Proving it took about maybe like an hour I probably should have let it go for a little longer than that like hour 15. That's in a heated drawer, bake it for 30 minutes and it was done. Did you bug it in a pan in a a loaf pan or just like on a big sheet? I've had a loaf pan for meatloaf for a while but it's small so I made the rest in like this casserole dish. Both turned out fine. Each of them were perfect. It just, I took out one sooner than the other and it was great. I never made bread and it worked perfectly. I'm flabbergasted. You can just make bread. I have also done that and it's always surprising when you do it and then it turns out and it's

bread and you're like, Oh, I've also fucked up some breads really good. So it is possible to fuck them up real good. But Fakasha or is that what the flatbread with like dimples? Oh, that's one of the ones I've had a lot of success one. Those are really good. I've never tried to make it, but Amy's tried to make it and her success rate is a little iffy. I mean, okay, not a little iffy, that's putting you into question, but she's had a few failures or just does not do anything. I hear her say a little iffy, that's a little bit too generous. She's never succeeded once in her life. I don't want to call out Amy, but she cannot make a bread

to save her. Okay, no, but there is something to say Amy cannot cook grilled cheese. What? She's great cook great like rest knows ton of recipes can make a ton of things for some reason cannot make grilled cheese like the outside burns before the cheese is cheese or something or yeah exactly. Yeah. Oh, well that's I don't know what it is. It's got to turn that temperature down a little bit. Welcome to the show where we criticize Amy's cooking everyone Yeah, I'm gonna really pile on. Get ready Amy. I know you watch these. Did you guys know I ran a grilled cheese empire in college? I feel like I should know that. It was after we lived together. It was a it was a Sinfonia thing

Were you still in a dorm? No, I lived off campus I was it was okay because you with an oven just in your dorm making I guess a stove is what I mean to make grilled cheese for everyone It's kind of not sounding mark did that not that but mark made food in the dorm a couple times I remember that I made food like two times the microwave or I was only allowed to have like a microwave You know, there was a little kitchenette There was a little kitchenette in the dorm and no one used it my I was a symphony and find me off a symphony It's a music fraternity and I was in we sold grilled cheese every Wednesday at lunch in the in CCM in the

Big I don't know entry whatever the fuck it's called atrium and I was in charge of that for like two years and I took it from a thing where it was like the night before like two years. And I took it from a thing where it was like the night before, one of the dudes would go to Kroger and get some bread and some country crock and some cheese. And they would sell it to where I had like a journal of like, I kept accounting and I kept, and we did specials where I got special bread and special cheese and you could

get a, a dollar for a plain grilled cheese or like a few bucks for like a fancy grilled cheese. We added tomato soup at some point. That was a big seller. You could add on a little cup of tomato soup for 50 cents with your grilled cheat. It was a whole thing. I turned that bitch into a profitable enterprise. I was going, I was buying eight, 10 loaves of bread,

the whole like gallon of country crock, piles of cheese, all this stuff. It was a whole thing. It was a veritable fixture of CCM. I hope that down there, the traditions continue. It's like a Michelin star grilled cheese restaurant now. Yeah. Well, they really tried to kill it off. My, when I took it over, we used to do it in like the entry, the atrium entryway of CCM, which was like this big open space was really cool. That's just a counter there. And we just plugged in an electric griddle and they were like, oh, you can't do that.

Like after the first couple of days, we were like, oh, just plugged in an electric griddle and they were like, oh, you can't do that. Like after the first year, the some new administrator in CCM was like, you can't do that. You can't do it. And so we found like another space that was like way the hell in the back hall somewhere in the secret speakeasy where we served illegal grilled cheeses. I think to serve food, There's no permits or anything required You're just allowed to sell food. Is that true? It wasn't like a for-profit business Then you start this off as saying you made a profitable profitable, but it was For Sinfonia, which is maybe I think was maybe a nonprofit if I remember I'm not 100% sure about that

I heard profitable empires what I heard and an empire is not a business. I made a profitable endeavor but the profits were not shared. Hey, I'm with you but I think telling you to do it is probably illegal advice because I imagine there are some regulations with selling food. That said, I love the idea and I'm on your side of doing it anyway. I mean, I'm pretty sure that there's a distinction between like setting up a restaurant and like kids are allowed to have lemonade stands on the side of the road. I'm not saying this is exactly the same thing, but there's something in between. You're not allowed to ever sell any food and you have to be a licensed regulated health inspected restaurant where it's like you're allowed to sell like a lemonade stand or like cookies. We weren't like an operating

restaurant. We were like one day a week, some buddies cooked some grilled cheeses and we charged a nominal fee so that we could like cover our expenses. I'm with you. We made like 40 cents of grilled cheese or something and on the expensive ones we made a much better margin but that was that was just savvy business I just want to know where that when the distinction like when do you have to they let us do it they knew we were doing it they just didn't let us do it in the really really really good location that kind of put a damper on the things you know the man really dragged us down yeah I can see that I'm sorry for that. Wade, entertain me. um lulululu

sure sure okay all right I think that's great oh what's new what's new um yeah we did that thing for daredevil but I actually started watching it and I was very sad that all of it wasn't out because I wanted to keep binging I was really enjoying it good show so far and uh I still want to go back and re-watch the old one I read one of those articles that kind of like recaps the original so that way it prepares you for this one but I started watching and I'm pretty into it. Hell yeah. It's the first time I've binged a show in like two years. I have not watched a lot of shows. I've been missing a lot of the different Marvel things and whatnot just I just haven't made time to watch it but I was like you know for this one

I will and I started watching it and it's pretty good. Well that's good. I haven't had time to watch it but i was like you know for this one i will and i started watching it and pretty good well that's good i haven't had time to watch any show obviously but that's the same story i've been telling for ages now for about two years but someday i'm gonna watch so much stuff i'm gonna do so much little since any weather the other hand is a bitch the days i can't go outside enjoy it it's beautiful weekend i was like ah i've got this whole weekend to enjoy being outside rainy biggest wind we've had since like last fall thunderstorms puddles Everything terrible poo poo raining from the sky what happened it didn't do that up here We only live half an hour apart. Maybe it was the dogs, but it was just a poo everywhere I thought it was from the clouds deer rabbit. I don't know wolf an, wolf? I mean, elephant, something pooped all over the yard.

That's definitely an elephant. It's pretty nice outside right now, you should- I'M IN THIS CHEHR ALL DAY TODAY! Alright, I'll get off my old man rocking soapbox. Wade yells at Cloud. Hey, come back tomorrow! This episode is brought to you by Walmart. I'm a busy guy.

I don't have time to grocery shop. I'm always busy, but more importantly, I'm very lazy. I like to have things delivered because it's convenient. Meat? What else people buy? You can choose the date and the time. You never feel more powerful. Walmart subscriptions. Groceries and essentials delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Shipping, delivery, and minimum order fees may apply. Eligible items only.

Terms apply. In the era of sequels, this is another one. Oh, weird part four. This is going to be another cerebral episode. You're going to need to use your brain. Okay. You're going to need to use your brain. Okay. You're going to need to use whatever form of imagination

you have or are capable of. Well, okay, calm down. And you need to use your ability at horticulture-y? Etymology? Entomology or etymology? How's etymology, can I look up etymology? Am I allowed to look that up? Etymology.

Anyway, you're going to need to use some kind of scientific department. I'm going to flip a coin to decide who's gonna go first. Ed Bob, wait tails. Like I said, heads. Bob! That's me, baby! Bob, what's new in the area of horticulture? Oh, I'm about to tell you Bob open up your ears. Okay

What plant makes that All right, so I'm guessing when and why Wade makes that noise? Yes, please, give me that. That's the sound Wade makes when he's been in the pool for about an hour and a half and someone outside the pool opens the lid to the grill and says, Burgers are ready! And Wade goes, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh h So Bob, can you tell me what animal that is? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Almost there This is part of the process

That is a pug No, not a pug now Wade. It's your turn and I'm gonna give you a clue that I didn't give Bob This is one we had in the last episode. Oh, I disqualified that one because ah Oh, I should have I should have given you that chance, but wait No fair is fair. I will not on this. I know this one I don't know this one, but it sounds like a pig or a boar. So I'm gonna go with a boar That's not what it was That's not what it was. You guys think I remember what happened last episode. You are crazy

I have the worst memory of all of us combined Subtractually memory. All right, Bob. Do you know what this is? I think I do is that was the koala, right? Yes All right. We did a koala last time. Are you sure? Yeah, we did I remember cuz it sounded like that and I was all that's a koala last time? Are you sure? Yeah, we did. I remember, because it sounded like that and I was all, That's a koala this time? Yeah, and here there's a bonus that, uh, that, um, I don't know if you guys will be able to hear it. But I have videos now.

Oh, wow, I can tell an animal by seeing it. Well, just so it proves what it is. Oh. I bet James could beat you at telling animals by seeing them. He probably could. I bet he could. That's a ko by seeing them. He probably could I bet he could that's a koala It is a koala. Yeah through the listeners It says koala on the video

I don't like his mouth. I'm not a fan of that mouth shape. Nope don't like that. That's not pleasant All right, so Bob gets a point for the sound I get a point for the visual right? No, so what we're gonna do actually is before the way it worked is we did identifying the animal. If you couldn't get it, it's, or if someone did get it, the next part was who could imitate it the most. Well, I already made the sound, so I get a point for that, right?

Well, we're gonna disqualify this one because we had it last time. And also I remember this one hurt you guys's voices a lot I don't think we need to do that one again these next ones though like last time I have not heard these okay so we, Wade, this is your new sound. What the fuck was that? Oh my god! I know this one! Okay. That's getting angry. No, no, no, no. This is a baby howler monkey after the teat is pulled from its mouth and it's not done eating yet. No. You fool!

Okay, yeah. You're right. All right, okay. That was not close. I'll give you that one. Bob, what is this animal? I'm pretty sure that's the opening to an Avenged Sevenfold song, but no, that's definitely a mule. No. Oh. Would you like to see the video?

This is a Tasmanian Devil. I've heard what Taz sounds like and it's not that. Kind of terrifying. So no one gets the point for that. But there is a point on the table for this imitation wait your back Oh, God I mean not dissimilar the snort. I think really helped you there. That was not bad There's like I don't know if it's the sound there is like a snorty noise. They make at the beginning of that video, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Absolutely. Didn't feel good. Bob? Oh, sure. BOOM OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGH No, that's just that was just extreme sleep apnea It's really hard to snort and then make a scream noise right through it's like two opposite takes of air Yeah, I don't think I could do that either. I'm gonna give that one to Wade. He is

Tasmania devil in the sheets Tasmanian in the sheets in the teats gotcha all right Bob this is your animal this is actually an old Morgan three-wheeled it's the original car it's a one-cylinder engine trying to start wait I know this one. I Gilbert Gottfried. I know this one. It's like 88 BPM. Man, is that is that macaques? Is that a macaque? You know, that's not a bad guess. But honestly, I can't even remember what this animal is when I look at the name. So macaque is a good Guess if I knew at all what this was supposed to be cuz looking at the name I'm just like I know this name have never attached it to an actual animal So if that's a clue Wade here is it one more time?

Can I get it down low? That would make a hard sound to use in a beat like producers out there. Yeah, so I forget the name of this animal, but I will describe it and you will know exactly what I'm talking about. But this is not a crocodile or an alligator. It's the longer, more needle-nosed one during sex. I'm sorry, I don't think there's a third,

I don't think there's a third kind of those. I think it's alligators or crocodiles. Maybe it falls under one of those, but it's like the really long, needle-nosed one. It's, I think, yeah, that's a crocodile type, I believe. It might be called a needle-nosed crocodile for all I know. Those are really good for taking outlets out of the wall. You know, I'm not gonna give you an animal name.

I'm just confident that I'm close enough that it'll win. No. A gharial or a gavial? Maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A species of crocodile known for its exceptionally long and slender snout. Okay, then it is a crocodile type,

but not your standard. Both of you did not get it and prepare to be shocked at what the hell this is. Oh, I would not have guessed that's what those sounds like. Prepare to be shocked at what the hell this is I would not have guessed that's what those sound like. Yeah, me neither. Also this video is terrifying He's just chilling if that was in the middle of the woods at night just I saw eyes Listeners imagine something terrifying making that noise that we will not describe in any more detail all right except for the fact that it's a bird with a blue face and a red it's a cassowary everybody knows what a cassowary is if I remember cassowaries they're also assholes and will kill you

unless that's an emu I think a lot of the big birds are kind of a-holes anyway no one got the point for that, but honestly, how would anyone ever? I mean, this, but there is a point possibility for imitating that. So Bob, you are up for the bonus point. All right. Yeah. Here. Do I have to make the sound with my own voice or can I use tools? I'll allow a tool. Sure. All right. I have to move my mic for this but here we go I don't like the facial expression, but the sound was pretty good. Was that your dick man? What was I'm not gonna share it Unless I win then I'll share all right. That was really close. I honestly that sounded Pretty good. It's good cuz I broke the thing I was using to make that sound I do I have to compete at this point cuz I I'm not gonna get closer than that

I always throw but I encourage you. Hey, you never know till you try I couldn't get the suction because I started laughing laughter don't laugh you're gonna mess me up ort ort ort ort ort ort ort ort that's better that's what I was trying to do but I started laughing so it just came out or whatever the fuck it was I heard ort ort ort

stop laughing Or whatever the fuck it was I heard or Cuz I'm trying to picture a human that fucking bird It's either you you you fail miserably or you give the audience some ammo that they never should have had My thing was just this 3d printed Cup koozie scraping back and forth on the desk. I fucked up I started delaminating layers off of it by jamming it in my desk too hard. Well, it got you a point. So I think it can't be that big of a loss. Yep.

Worth it. Why don't you try the burp, burp. All right. It's pretty good. All right, Wade, open your ears. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. I think I know this one. I know this one. I know this one. Every time I hear that sentence I think of him. Oh, it's a European swallow. No, that's what your mother did to me last night, Rebecca. Damn you, Connery. I think this is...

Yeah. I think that's a loon? BUDDUN! That is in fact a loon! Oh god damn man. Yeah, good luck making that noise. And here's the video of the loon, just so you all know

what this is. it's a bird no there are there are a lot of loons that's a common Ohio wildlife sound they have little babies riding around on them that's funny that's cute at least I guess bird it's like a goose disguised as the Doppler effect yeah all right anyway so Bob you got the point for what it is But Wade you have a chance if you can imitate this animal Why doesn't he have to imitate first? Why do I have to do it first? Cause you went first to guess

I went first last time OOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO It's not bad! That was pretty good! I think that was better than I could probably do. Alright, Bob? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Huh? Pretty good. That's pretty good, that's pretty good. Ah man, hmm, this is a toss up.

I think the addition of the hand component of it got it acoustically closer. I'd have to agree. Yeah, I want the point, but I'd have to agree. I think Bob beat me on that one. Last time I failed so miserably, I've been practicing animal animal noises quite a lot in my free time. Yeah you got one of those pull cord speak and spell animal sound thing the Loon goes whoo! Yes yes I do. Every day. I got it for James. The cow goes no James we're getting the Loon one! Next up Bob you're first.

I think I know this one too. Oh, yes, the AR-15. What the fuck? What the hell? It's a... No, no, yeah. I know, I think I know what that is. I think, I think that's a... No, no, yeah. I know, I think I know what that is. I think, I think that's a... Is that a magpie? No, unfortunately it's not.

I think I still know what it is. I think I just don't know what it's called. Cause I could see, I could see this bad boy. It's obviously the African hissing cockroach. A damn fine guess. What a damn wrong guess. I think it is actually an African animal. Okay, Bob, because I had to pull up what it was,

I will give you half a point if you can describe what this thing looks like. Okay, I'm seeing it's a bird, and it's like a black bird, and it has kind of a big, like curvyy beak and when it's doing this it's just sitting there with its mouth open just like but it's making all these crazy ass noises it's not quite i mean it's close but when it's making the sound that's like the differentiation i'll let wade also chime in on this because here is this animal and I am unsure if this is actually gonna make the sound in the video. I can't see how but here we go

Damn that's loud. That's so loud. That's terrifying. I mean he got tall bird, right? No, that's not the animal I was thinking. I was thinking it was, it was mimicking like human sounds. Like it was mimicking like forestry, cause there's birds, there are birds that can like mimic whatever sound they hear, right? I've actually seen a shoebill before, they're loud as fuck. This is a bird that has seen war and is mimicking war. Oh, hold on, I gotta play it one more time.

It's so big. Can I vote? We don't try to mimic that sound. Cause I'll break my teeth. Well, don't, don't do that. You don't have to do that. My mouth hurts. If you feel like you have to, I can't stop you,

but I don't suggest it. Ops first. All right. I don't know if this is gonna, hang on. Oh, did we ever say out loud that's a shoe bill? That's a shoe bill. I said the word shoe bill. Yep, okay, this isn't 100% what I'm hoping for,

but here we go, ready? Yeah. That's great. That's actually pretty close. Wade, you have to use your teeth. I used my teeth. Come on. Can you play it one more time?

Yeah, yeah, I got you. I think that was closer. That was pretty good. It had the right resonance to it. What's on your desk? That was my armrests and also at one point one of them fully just went down even though it shouldn't without pressing the button So I'm a little concerned. Yeah, well they're probably designed to withstand that. Also, ow my hands hurt.

Better than your teeth. Wade, you are now guessing first. Here is your animal. I know this one! This is a parrot that sits in the kitchen and here's when the microwave is done. No, no, no. One no no no one more time more time okay wait I know this I might know this really I'm optimistic I have a guess and wait has no chance I do not

this is obviously a lemur that found a storage of helium honestly I can't say that it's not that big it's not that in this case. I feel less confident now. I'm gonna go with my guess that I thought of that I got really excited about. Is this a prairie dog? You are so close. Ah!

No, I'm gonna throw this up to debate because I think that what this is is often confused For that to the point where I'm almost certain that they probably sound the same Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's similar to at least to what the sound prairie dogs make but this is a Marmot oh I believe this is very closely related to a prairie dog yeah no it's hilarious cuz it more it's a it looks like a prairie dog if you don't know for

the listeners they open their mouth like they're screaming when they make this noise they really do. They're all, I did a quick Google and I'm finding, yes, marmots and prairie dogs are fairly related. They both belong to the Skiridae family, which includes squirrels, ground squirrels. However, they belong to different- Lemurs? Different genera.

Marmota for marmots and cinnomies for prairie dogs. They share similarities. They're rodents They live in burrows, but they're different sizes and different habitats. It's really close. Damn. That's close Hey, you know lemurs closer than I would have liked to think too I thought I was gonna say that and you were gonna be like it's a bat and it's like not even close All right. Okay. All right. So now that you we've definitely heard it a million times, who can mimic this? Okay, yeah, man, I got this. I'm sorry, we got a truck backing up over here.

If any of you can get up to this pitch, I'd be shocked. Alright, can you play it again? I want to I want the pitch I want to match it Fucking turning into the matrix over here Can we harmonize? Fucking turning into the matrix over here. I gotta be honest, I was just gonna whistle. Yeah. But that's not the same quality. It honestly sounds like his normal speaking voice is a lot lower.

And he was like dad dad dad dad look Look how high I can sing Do we both lose a point on that yeah, that's a toss-up between the the the two of you I don't think any of you got close enough for me to not for us Burly men that we are with our deep rich voices all right great episode man nope great all right Bob Wait, I know this one. I know this one. This is actually it's misleading because it's edited.

That is cut three minutes into a video that started with Tyler laughing. And then if you it progresses and progresses and if you try if you drop the needle three ish minutes in that's actually the sound of Tyler almost dying from laughing. I mean not a bad guess not a bad guess. Can I guess an actual animal? Yes, sure. It's definitely a turtle trying to climb up onto a slightly

too high step. Close but no wait, this is clearly a mountain goat that just ate a hot pepper No, unfortunately damn it. All right, so the truth is a lot less interesting. Oh, it's a proboscis. A proboscis monkey? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha. How is that less interesting? Look at the way that thing flops around. Well, I'll give bonus for flopping if one of you can perform the flopping as you do this. Bob? I don't know if I have anything that's gonna help me on this one. I'm just gonna have to do it. Is that what it sounded like?

I don't think so. Ah, that's close. That's pretty close. Ah, yeah, kind of. Yeah. Wade. All right. Points for flopping.

Oh God. pretty close yeah kind of yeah wait all right points for flopping oh god what happened to you through the beginning to the end of that body spasms he was trying to flop oh I am flopping I am flopping below the desk I want you to know there is flop I feel feel like it could have just been, hey, hey, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, if you have a deep voice, hey, hey, ha. I feel like there's an extra quality to it that I think we were trying to add that maybe isn't even there. Yeah, there's a little rumbling. Hey, hey, ha, ha, ha.

It sounds like you're pushing the buttons on the speaking spell really aggressively, and it's like trying to talk, but it's like getting cut off. It also feels like there's a little bit of a tap in the voice that I think I was going for gravelly, but maybe that's not eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Like a teeth chat, there's something else. There's like a teeth chat. There's like another noise behind it.

Eh, eh, eh. It's like one, but it's tiny. I think it's honestly just that it's kind of resonant and the audio is really clippy because it's trying to cut out background noise. With your burping in my like gravelly I thought we were on the right track but maybe it maybe we were crazy. I gotta give it for the effort to the burps. Alright. And I'll give Wade half point for flopping because it wasn't on screen but I believe you. You should.

It was much smaller than that monkey's nose, but the effort was there. Oh, interesting. All right, Wade. Well, that's adorable. I know this one! This is the sound you make after you eat Skyline Chili and you're on your first date and you go to the movies afterward You're really trying to conceal it, but you gotta let one out. Okay. I'll accept that. It's not right, but okay also This is the sound of a baby blue. J. No, unfortunately red J

Bob that's definitely the sound of a baby meerkat no it wasn't a baby anything actually it was in fact full-grown hippo it was a frog why is he a ball frog what happened to him I think it's angry and it's like all puffed up and trying to intimidate he just got out of a tennis match he signed up to play tennis and found like he was gonna be the ball was really upset about it all right who's gonna imitate that or should we just skip this one cuz so we got this do I get to go first? Sorry, that was kind of an experiment. No, it was Wade. I can't do any of those things though Do the job What are we doing? What's happening?

Just keep going yeah Yeah man yeah I was puffing up and I was moving my mouth I love it I love it Ow Alright here we go No hang on I just had it hang on Alright that's not working that really hurts

Don't like that noise I had I like found the sweet spot Alright that's not working that really hurts. Don't like that noise. I had like found this wait spot for a second but I had my mic muted. Alright I'll give this one to Wade. That is a desert rain frog for anyone who really wants the specific. Uh how long we only have time for a couple more and I have many, many more. That's terrible. That's terrible, man.

Pick a number one through five. Four. That is a howler monkey. That's the distinctive howl of the howler monkey Yes, howler monkey known for its 120 decibel screech or hearable from three miles away Well, it's a microphone is you know, it's humans can barely comprehend the it's technical and decibels Yes, true very true pop wait, oh it's a Australian mini antelope I'm gonna look that animal up if that's not real. I'm a deductive point for me

How dare you make up animals here? I hope it's a real animal. It came up as an animal. Thank you What adorable mini antelope wait wait, what the fuck were you right? There is no native species of antelope. Wait, wait, what the fuck? Were you right? There is no native species of antelope in Australia. However, there have been instances of non-native antelopes being introduced to certain regions. Yeah, just like the camels and other things. Was that the right noise?

It's not the right answer, no. This one is much less inspiring. This is simply a lemur. Do I literally guess lemur like three guesses ago? It looks a little bit like this is the lemur who became the Joker in the lemur universe Lipstick is so bold, but it's a lot. Yeah for those who are listening only this His lipstick is so bold, but it's a lot. Yeah for those who are listening only this It's truly just really beautiful. All right, who can imitate that? Oh, you're first. I think oh, okay. You're up

Yep, I got this Yep, I got this That last one was spot-on pitch I think that was exactly right that thank you. Man, that was, it was, oh man, how do I decide? Bob, congratulations, you're the loon. Or no, the lemur. God. All right, last one, Wade. Really thought I had that one.

God. Our last one, we really thought I had that one. God, that's your first one. So that's iconic. And of course okay the first one is the sound whenever I'm talking to my mom on the phone and she keeps going too long the last one is if I had a dad the same thing I'll give you a point if you can name any of those That's a howler monkey not screaming but shredding thick paper mom Laughing kookaburra howler monkey Dad god damn you got one kookaburra. What about mom mom was right mom not in there mom come come on out! Come on out, Mom!

No, you got it. Cucabird, that's this one. That's an iconic one. Yeah, it is. Bob, you have three to grab from. You have... That's one. That's a power washer. That's actually the Owen Wilson anteater.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON is, oh, pass. The second one is a snake. Do I have to be more specific than that? Nope. Wow. That's the only one kind of snake. I should have just said bird this whole time, man. The third one is that guy who sings that song. It's all ba ba ba ba ba ba ba I have no fucking idea is it's a big pig. No, it's not a pig. That's not a pig sound like I got nothing. So the first one is of course, well, not the first one. I don't remember what order I showed it to you, but a Kiwi. Oh Lord. Well, that's the ripping paper noise.

The other one was a Willow Tarmigan. Oh lord. Oh that's the ripping paper noise. The other one was a willow ptarmigan. Mom? Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. And then... Aww. That's not a normal sea lion sound. Now do we have to imitate these?

You can pick your favorite. Pick your favorite from any of those. Alright. Now do we have to imitate these? You can pick your favorite. Pick your favorite from any of those. Alright. That's pretty good. That's not bad. I wanted to do the kookaburra and then I realized I can't. Very good. Bob? the kookaburra and then I realized I can't very good Bob well it's unfortunate that we both selected the same one to attempt so see how this goes

can I hear it again all I can hear is Wade okay okay yeah got it got it oh fucking god God Register I Man that doesn't work like I thought it would at all you can shift to the shift of the tarming in. Oh wow Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, oh wow Wow, wow, I don't know why but the tarming in has big Ethan vibes I don't know why, but the pfft, Taramagan has big Ethan vibes. In a way I cannot explain it all.

No, I understand perfectly. All right, way to get that, you're a sea lion. Way to go. And that brings us to a close on the scoring round. I really thought that was gonna work differently in my throat. I'm still thinking that my frog impression was the best one.

It was, and that's why you got a point for it. I don't think I did. All right. Wait, you got points for Being entertaining poo storm is Tasmanian devil. You are the shoe bill I have a half a flopping point you are the desert rain frog you guessed kookaburra and you are a sea lion Well done Bob got point for cannoli illegal grilled cheese Wade burgers Wade in the pool and the burgers right right you guessed koala you did a cassowary great you guessed the loon you are the loon you are proboscis anus monkey penis monkey yes and then is lemur so that was afterwards so you got proboscis monkey and lemur both of you did Adorably in performing your animal

Being that you got four points apiece for getting that Bob you guessed one more animal than Wade. Seven and a half for Wade Nine for Bob. Alright, so we cannot tie. Oh, there is no way for it to be a tie half points are the same I have to have points are the new meta We're all gonna be like, oh someone earns half a point that's it No mark, you should add that to the wheel though Like I it this unlikely to affect anything ever but just one that's like half a point because fuck you It just goes to whichever player doesn't have half a point right right okay, right?

How about oh man? I would love to add two to the wheel like half a point for Bob and half a point for Wade wait Where am I then if I? Yeah, I think Bob and I both agree I'm cool with that, that's fun. Yeah, I think Bob and I both agree. We can add two. Alright, put it on. This guy gets two slices of the wheel,

but you know, we'll let it slide this once. I really wanna ask, I don't know if the host I could do this, but... I don't think you can't. I'm confused what would even happen if you succeeded, but I'd love to know. Yeah, let's find out. Alright, I'm declaring unfair, because I should have one of those.

There should be one for me, but if it gets declared not double fair. One more for each of us? Yeah, you can. Another one for each of us. God, I fucking hope some tails come up. So if Mark wins, we all get one or just him? No, if Mark wins, he also gets one so that each of us has one if mark looted if it's all tails

You and I get two and mark still has zero. Okay Here we go Is that tails now mindset Is that tails? No, mine's heads. Oh Mine is the lady and Traditionally the lion or whatever the fuck this is has been my tails. Oh so close Anyway, would you like me to roll your d3 or would you like to do that? Yeah, let me see what we got here. How I roll d3 So how much I'm losing by two right now. It's nine to seven and a half

You got what you're down one and a half All right. Here we go Three oh You're saying there's a chance one point for the viewers one point for the listeners and one point for Wade Let's do this. Hang on for no particular reason. I'm just gonna grab this mushroom. Oh Interesting didn't I eat like an entire tortilla at the start of this episode it did yeah Like I get what you're I get we're good for but didn't I pretty much capture that already damn it I ain't this delicious choco room for nothing. I click it a bunch make sure Make sure. One.

Loudest. If it helps my case at all, upstairs people texted me during the middle of that episode and said, are you okay? I'm always so loud, I don't get those messages anymore, but I beat the fuck out of my chair. That is true. That's true.

I don't know, this one might be a tie. We were both pretty. This was tough. We both were pretty loud this loud this episode was kind of the point of the episode So I feel like yeah, you both had plenty of opportunities to be the loudest Trying to remember if there was any moment where one would have been louder than we respin on a tie or just Nix it or both or what do we do? Like what if there is just a tie? I mean host host discretion I don't know. I think if it is a tie just flip a coin and I'll I'll go from there cuz if it's if it's even Stevens You guys can't figure out who was loudest and I can't either. I think it just has to be up to chance

I genuinely don't know. I know there were moments where Bob was really loud. There were moments where I was really loud or Actually, let's just pass it by if it doesn't qualify. Let's just pass it by do three. after this. Okay, respin number one. Doesn't seem to like when I click it a bunch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait that's still you. Yeah, Talos. All right. So, so you're saying there's no chance. Yeah, I'm out of the running now and we already used the coin so I can't even fight it boo well I swear what is with this wheel? point for viewers point for viewers boo it's even it's even there's I haven't adjusted the the chances or anything it's all just

each one isn't even I don't understand oh you know what we'll need a different wheel anyway because this one only goes up to 20 oh shit there's a maximum Oh fuck. Okay. Well change it over because I feel like the RNG and this one is a little too predictable Third spin viewers get a point The viewers get another point All right two points for the viewers. And that closes it up. Three wheels and they all fucked me.

So with Wade's seven and a half points, the all three points, all four wheel spins worked against you. Not a single one went in your favor. So congratulations for not getting anywhere. Bob, congratulations for your big win. Ten points. What do you have to say for yourself? That's another one of the highest point totals I've ever earned for Mark.

I knew I was gonna beat Wade, but I feel pretty accomplished that I did well in Mark's size, too. That's really the main thing I'm looking for in life. And it just fills you with pride to know you do something well. Right, Wade? Is this my time? Yeah, I kind of was like going off of Bob and Henry. Walk the animal kingdom. Thank God for Choco rooms.

What in the? You heard it from Wade. Fuck animals, eat chocolate. No, I know what Choco rooms are, just the way that you ate that one was... I was angry! I was angry eating! I'm gonna get chalky milk from upstairs. Well, congratulations boys. Thank you for your good efforts. Bob, all that training paid off from the last episode. Well done and thank you everybody for listening at home and thank you everybody for watching at home. I feel like everyone got an equal

experience. It's not all about the listeners or the watchers. We each get something, right? Right. Be sure to check out the subreddit where we got all the memes and you'll see a lot of copies of Wade's face from the last episodes. I apologize for that. I am NOT going to be deleting any of those I will be reinstating any posts that other moderators delete. It will just be Wade's face Can I just say shout out the people that are listening to the not listening? But they have subtitles on and they're trying to figure out which one of us was the closest based on subtitles and just movement That's fair. All right, be sure to follow the podcast to be notified whenever a new one comes up We're also on YouTube in case you were wondering but videos on Spotify and YouTube now. Thank you

We will see you in the next episode whenever it comes podcast up