Distractible - Anything Goes (Part 2)
Episode Date: September 12, 2025Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about... your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Destractable.
This episode, makeshift Mark kicks off, displays the new merch,
then tells his horror story of consuming babies.
Weekender Wade refuses hospice cohabitation,
clubs balls, praises the bangles,
and earned Dick as an assistant.
Blameworthy Bob has a warm pond,
a mute mind, and quotes a Nana's meme.
From altered images to Californian philanthropy.
Yes, it's time for anything goes, part two.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted.
And enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome to Distractable.
Oh, was it recording?
Now is it going?
All right, cool.
Hello and welcome to Distractable.
The podcast where you come for laugh, scoves,
and maybe a few heartfelt boo-hoo's every once in a while.
Have we ever made anyone cry in this episode?
God, I hope so.
God, I hope so.
Probably.
Well, I'm your host, Markiplier, the guy you know, the guy you love.
All the listeners, you know my voice.
All the viewers, you know my face.
You know my eyes.
They know your soul.
They know my soul.
And I know theirs, intimately.
What's wrong?
I like what he's got going on here.
A little indigestion, I think.
Oh, indigestion.
That's funny.
Boy, do I have a story about that?
All right, just steal my story, I guess.
Yeah, go for it.
Oh, I won't.
Not yet.
Not yet, guys.
Not yet.
Anyway,
how are you guys,
my fellow hosts?
I can't look at that anymore.
Hi.
Oh, thank God.
I'm comforted.
I like when you make a lot of eye contact.
It makes me feel confident.
Good, good, good, good, good.
A lot of real, genuine,
not at all disturbing eye contact.
Yep, yep, hip, HP, NG.
Edit out my yon.
Double it or nothing.
Double my yon.
All right, this is Distractable, the game show where I'm going to be hosting and subjecting these two to my whims.
Where's my pointkeeper?
Fuck.
Always love when you come prepared.
Fuck.
Hold on.
I didn't know I was going to be recording.
That's true.
To be completely fair to him, he had no idea he was about to have to be recording.
That's true.
Only about an hour's heads up.
We were doing stuff.
What do you give me a hard time for?
All right, yeah, fuck you, Mark, you idiot.
Ha!
A little mean, that's a little horribly cruel.
Yeah, he's hosting, man.
You should go easy on him.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
I'm going to write some points here.
Grubbing out an address first, but then I'm going to rub it.
Points.
I'll get you some points.
You got points for a 6-8-17 Markiplier Drive.
Yes, I own my own road.
Keep telling you, man.
It's hard to stay in conspicuous.
when you live on a road that's named after your own self.
Oh, they would never assume.
They would never assume.
That's why I live on Not Wade's Avenue.
It would be, like, stupid in every conceivable way,
but how funny would it be if you just, even if it wasn't you,
if someone was like, oh, God, I love Markiplier.
I'm going to rename one of the streets in my town to Markiplier Avenue.
And then just droves of people just show up, we're like,
Mark lives here, right?
Who is this?
Which house is Marks?
and all the poor idiots who live on that road.
I mean, it's not their fault.
But fuck those guys.
Look, maybe back in the day,
my fans would be rabid enough to do that,
but they're real chill nowadays.
They're real chill nowadays.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway, I got to write points for...
Who insulted me?
Who insulted me?
Me.
Wade, did you insult me?
No, Bob insulted you.
I was...
I baited him into insulting you.
That's points, right?
Well, I'm deducting points.
Yeah, get him.
Who?
Hey!
Okay, that was agreement.
All right, Wade.
All right, minus one point to Wade.
Man, I can't believe how well that worked.
Ben.
I was trying to reverse fall.
Never mind.
Fa la la la la la la la.
I'm fine.
So I have some small talk, which many of you know and many people have had questions about.
But I'll let you guys go first just to bait the engagement, to drive up the viewership and the listenership, which is more valuable than the viewership maybe.
well mine's meant to follow yours up but you know what i'll lead off with it because it's your
fault what the fuck you're not doing well wade you're not yeah well i'm gonna get you even more
so uh over the weekend uh molly and i had a really really wonderful lunch on saturday we went out
like to a park had lunch got some uh shaved ice and uh came home and uh i decided to go upstairs
and change into like some shorts because i left sitting in basketball shorts get comfortable
and I got upstairs
and I got hit with like
just the craziest
nauseous
dizziness
vertigo spell
I've had in a long time
and it's like
oh man that sucks
sit down for a minute
and shake that off
it didn't go away
it lasted six hours
or something
and Molly's like
do you think you need to go
to the ER the hospital
and my reasoning was no
Mark's there
people are going to say
I'm just copying him
so if I die
it's this guy's fault
he hasn't
texted back, so he might still be there for all
I know. I can't be in the hospital
same time as him. That's his content.
Yeah, if anything bad it happened to me,
it would have been your fault because I was like, I can't go
copying, Mark, go to the hospital.
I'm deducting a copying point.
Okay. Yeah, I get it.
I get it. Well, okay, wait,
no, I shouldn't deduct. You didn't copy, but
I'm going to have this, I'm going to put
this under a lie category.
This is a lie copy point.
Deduct, lying the deduction
of a copy point. This is, I'm lying.
I mean, it worth twice as much.
Because I would have copied.
I would have done it.
I would have done it.
Well, I mean, if it lands on the, if it lands on the spy and the wheel,
then this lie could either count as a point for you or doubly against you.
That's true.
All right.
That lie might go hard if you get lucky.
Yeah.
I need to denote things that are lies.
All right.
Bob, before I get to my hospital story.
Oh, you know.
Pff.
I really not that much.
I'm still sick.
I made James' life.
I had to clean the hot tub, and it got really hot.
And so I was like, I emptied it, but then I didn't clean it.
Then I filled it back up, and James loves it.
So now we don't have a hot tub.
We have the world's smallest pool because kids aren't supposed to go in hot tub.
It's not good for them because they're tiny.
So we just keep it at like 90 degrees or whatever, some like warm pool temperature.
It's the fucking, it's the best thing he's ever experienced.
kid loves just going under the water
falling down
scaring his parents
thinking he's going to drown
coming back up laughing about it
you know kid stuff
you made James alive
that is true
that's true in at least two ways
you'd think that would be worth two points
but it's not
you also might think that I would have done
some other stuff since the last time
we all talked and hung out
but I mean I hit some golf balls
Wade was there for that
that was pretty fun
yeah I was
I was good at it three times
you did great man
you did really you did really good
good oddly enough I was
winning one round and then I
forgot to play
yeah then it was right near the end and you were
like I'm not gonna do it anymore
and then no one hit any more golf balls for a while
I was very very bad
and I had one round where I was like actually I'm doing okay
and then yeah we just kind of were like
what if we talked instead and we all forgot about the golf part
it was fun it was a good time
yeah that does happen
and not to me. I wasn't there. I wasn't invited.
You live with a shit far away, and also we're in the hospital or whatever happened.
You don't know what happened.
Yeah, well, you won't tell us.
Yeah, we know that our text would ignore it and you were like, oh yeah, by the way, guys, sorry, miss this, I'm fine.
Like, days later, look, a lot of people texted me.
We both saw your Instagram posts and we're like, oh, God, I hope he's okay.
A lot of people texted me, look.
People texted me.
They're like, is Marko Kato's like, I don't know.
He probably just needs content.
It's actually just a room you put together in your own house, just here.
I'm going to tell you about it, but before I tell you about it, I got to show you guys something.
This is just for the viewers.
Oh.
Get the pixelation ready, editors.
Oh, wow.
I saw a picture of that, but I didn't know what existed.
Oh, it's flipped.
Man, why did I set all this up just to be able to do?
do this.
Look, it's just not time right now.
That bit is going to totally pay off.
It's going to be so funny.
Sometime later, it's going to be time for that, and it's going to be hilarious.
Uh-huh, yeah, okay, all right.
Meanwhile, people can see you on the wider angle the absolute mess that my room is.
It's really not that bad.
This is the filter to look like Michael Jackson at the end of Thriller when he looks up and his eyes are all fucked up.
This is just that filter.
Look at this!
Oh my God.
Is this what you think it is?
Listeners, I would describe what I'm looking at to you, but I don't know if I'm allowed.
Yeah, you are. Why wouldn't you be allowed?
All right, Bob, you got it.
I would describe what I'm looking at to you, but I don't know if I have the words to capture such immense, inconceivable beauty.
It's the triangle of fairness shirt, I believe.
I think it's also reversed in the camera, so I'm looking at it backwards.
I we already said that that already was talked about not live
no literally like 30 seconds ago I said like whoa it's flipped I was talking about that
I said that wait do you remember how I sat down with like man why did I set all this up
the media thing I said before that was that's flipped why did I do all this for that
because I don't believe you I'm too good of a listener you know if you're a representative
all the listeners no wonder we give them so much shit listeners right
up and do nothing like a me like a me it's a him your leader all right like a me i'll give you
one for that like of me but not for listening i want to be very clear that's not a listening point all
right but i'm wearing the official distractible merch i bet you guys wish you had some of these you'll
have to buy it off the website if you want a piece of this look at this the soos the soos is that
Assumably in
Oh my god
Are you really? Okay hold on
Does it say assembly instructions
Jesus Christ you guys
Hey the Seuss! I mean
The editors flipped it for everyone I'm
assuming but you guys are man
Yeah Mark's just trying to make us look stupid
Have you ever heard of the ship of the
Seuss? I like this one
No it looks good
Yeah it's pretty good
They both look good and then we got
this one as the last one
Ooh
Look that fancy
boat. We had two people make designs
for the ship of Theseus, and they were both so good
that we kind of just wanted to be both of them.
If you take threads out of one of the shirts of the ship
of the ship of Theseus and switch it with threads from the
other shirt of Shipathias, are they the same shirt?
This is just a damn good shirt. This doesn't even say
distractible. We kind of fucked up with this one because people are just going to buy this
because it's a good shirt, but it doesn't say distractible anywhere on it.
There's no distractible whatsoever.
I don't think there's anyone alive who would hear about the ship
of Theseus and not immediately think, oh, I know that from Hit Podcast Distractable.
Yeah, you got to put that in, guys.
You can't just go to the website, buy that one because it's just about distractible.
Man, we messed up.
Not even the back of the shirt.
There's no distractible anywhere.
No, no.
There's, I think actually maybe on the collar.
Yeah, on the collar, it's printed.
You see it, right?
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, yeah, I see that.
There we go.
Distractable.
there. So it's on there.
It's on there, yep. It's happening.
And finally, God, how long has it been?
Honestly, possibly like a year. I don't remember.
It's been so long. I'm not even sure we ever had merch.
Yep. I don't think so either.
I don't think we did. Ignore the distractible merch sitting behind me.
Anywho, my story. So I was in the hospital, and I want to preface this.
No matter how much you guys make fun of me for what I'm about to say.
understand this was easily one of the most painful experiences of my life okay right that's pretty high
bar for you it is yes it was actually it was actually you had some shit happen it might have if
if it lasted any longer it would be number one uh but yeah so i was eating carrots
classic mistake you guys know how i don't chew that good no i thought you changed that behavior
years ago i thought we talked about this were you eating baby carrots or whole horse carrots
Just baby carrots.
They were soft and chopped up.
I like how online people called it me relapsing.
Like I relapsed into not chewing.
Like, go easy on me, he relapsed.
Anyway, so I was playing a hilarious prank on Chika, and this is karma, right?
This is all karma.
So I took a baby carrot.
And I don't know why.
First thing in the morning, this is like, right?
I woke up, I went to the fridge, grabbed a handful of carrots.
And I was like, yeah, this is a good breakfast.
And I'm like, it's not the worst thing.
But I was like, I'll do that.
And then I went over to Chica.
I munched one down.
And I went over to Chica, like, oh, I'll play a funny prank on her.
So I pick up her paw, and I secretly pop a baby carrot in my mouth.
And I go up to her paw and go, crunch!
And she goes, oh.
She really does the pole.
Oh, zarks.
So it's like, that was really funny.
So I'll do it again, right?
And I haven't swallowed any of it yet because, you know, I was still playing the prank.
Only one to one can't pat my head.
and rub my stomach at the same time.
So I pop another in secretly, and I go crunch, and she's like,
she puts her other paw, like, on my hand.
Like, no, please.
Stop.
Stop.
So I do it again, and then I think by then she gets her.
I think she saw me put the carrot in.
And then I put her paw down, and I put another carrot, and I'll crunch it down.
I'll like, see, it's not that bad.
I get done with that, crunch a few more times.
See, I was chewing a little bit.
But the thing was, I was in the middle of the joke.
So I did, like, four baby carrots at once.
and then I tried to swallow that all
and it didn't go down
very good and it's like
have you ever swallowed something and it's like too much
and you feel the pain of it because it's going down
well that gets a lot
worse the farther down
it goes so what
happened was
I got the baby carrots
went down and then they just stopped
right around here dead center
in my chest right so right in the center
of my chest and I'm like
ah shit this sucks ow this
fucking hurts. So I go to get some
water and I know shit's bad
when I tried to drink the water, it doesn't
go down. It just
right back up. I can't even get water
down. Oh. I start to,
it starts to hurt even more and more
because it's like your esophagus
has like peristaltic motion when you swallow
it kind of is the same as the intestines where it's like
rhythmic, it pushes things down so it can get things down.
So it's squeezing and it's compacting it and it's
compacting into a more dense ball of sharp
baby carrot bit partially chewed baby carrot bits
after about a few minutes I realized like holy shit
this might be one this is unbelievably painful
I am now convincing myself that maybe this is a coincidence
and because the pain is just me
literally just ah
and strangest thing
and I'm sure it's just the body's response to try to clear something out
waterfall of drool just like I can't stop
endless drool but I know I can't swallow it down
because it won't go down so it's just
so I'm I make it about like 10 steps towards the bedroom I think Amy was still asleep at this point
call it to Amy and she runs out and and finds me huddled up against the couch clutching my
chest just drool everywhere horrible sight she was horrified called 911 immediately we
woo bunch of paramedics come in there they take a look at me and I'm huddled over clutching my
chest and I can barely get words out.
Like when I say this was unbelievable, it was
unbelievably painful.
And I was just sitting there like,
holy shit, is this how I'm going to die?
And so they get an EKG,
they see it's not heart, but it's like,
the pain's just like fucking, because it won't go
away, right? Because it can't get down,
it can't go around. So I take a Wii Wu ride
down to the hospital where I have
to try to explain people over
and over, yes, I've had a heart
attack in my past. I ate
some carrots.
It's carrots.
I ate some carrots.
Even the ambulance drivers who I convinced eventually came into the hospital.
And they were like, he's got chest pain, but it's not cardiac related.
He ate some cares.
And the hospital staff was like, just because you say it's not cardiac related, doesn't mean it's not.
So they get me in there and I'm trying to like, it's carrots.
It's carrots.
Mark's sitting in the ER going, I don't think this is how you fix a carrots.
So I get into the hospital room and they're all very worried because it's like I am like nine out of ten pain clutching my chest spasming, ow, and so finally they do an EKG there and it's, they're scared first because the first machine that they hooked up to me was going,
B, he hooked up, she's dead.
I'm sorry to tell you this, sir
But you're dead
So they reattached the leads
And they do it again
So and they're like
Oh, this machine's broken
But in the meantime
They're just like
Oh, I know, another IV
And so I got one IV here
What I mean here?
Oh, it's carrots
It's carrots
They make me think I'm dying
So they get the, they get a new machine in and they hook me up.
And finally it's like, perfect blood pressure, perfect sinus rhythm.
My heart has never looked healthier, right?
So then they're like, oh, hmm, okay, all right.
Well, let's get a, let's get the doctor and he'll talk to you.
And I'm still in agony.
So when the doctor comes in, I'm talking to the doctor as if, like, he would know what my chart said or something like that.
So I'm like, ah, the pain, because it was going up and down.
It pains back.
he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't even know you, man.
I don't know your story.
Where'd you grow up?
Well, you came in here.
I thought we were going to do, all right, were you just hiding from someone?
I think it was just because when it's a chest pain, they move so fast that they, because you could die in a second.
So they didn't write anything down.
So they just sent the doctor in.
And so I had to explain to him through all the pain that I was eating carrots and I played a prank on my dog.
it's wrong and they was like oh you got oh okay all right you got food oh that makes sense very
painful i feel for you we're going to get you some pain killers so they got me some morphine
helped a lot they got me this thing called glucagon made up medicine definitely fake this wasn't
real anyway they get glucagon in me and that dilates your esophagus and i shit you not if that
didn't work the solution to my problem he said i thought he was joking at first
He was not joking.
Drink soda and jump.
That was the second solution.
That's what they did for Bugs Bunny when he went in there after choking on carrots.
I mean, honestly, I really, because, you know, after they realized I wasn't dying, he was like,
no, try to make me laugh, you know, because I'm in agony.
And so I'm trying, you know, I'm joking along too as much as I can.
And I thought, he said, yeah, we'll give you some sprite and we'll, you'll jump up and down a few times.
And I go, ha, he's like, I'm serious.
Yeah, well, yeah, that's.
That's the solution.
Otherwise, they get an endoscope and they push it down or pull it out.
But you have to go under for that.
So they got the glucagon, and they got the morphine, and I sat there for an hour while they were seeing if that worked.
And then I started slowly drinking water.
And at first, before the glucagon, it still wasn't going down.
Then afterwards, it was starting to go down.
And then I got another whole bottle of water.
As soon as it was gone, pain gone instantly.
It was crazy.
Which makes sense because when I had battle instructions, as soon as it's gone and not, like, stretching your, your,
intestines or your esophagus, the pain's gone instantly. So, uh, I feel silly walking out of
there, like, because I'm walking out, you know, like no wheelchair for me. Just like, uh, thanks
like an hour after I came in with full wee woo, like everyone's like put an attachment to
be actually. Thanks guys. Well, lo, la la la la la. But definitely one of the most painful
experiences in my life. I don't know how my pain compared because it's totally different,
but I had I had sciatic nerve pain which basically like almost paralyzed one of my legs one time
it just got really compressed and pinched that experience when you go in and like I was I was sitting
in the waiting room crying like actively like shuddering like it was the worst pain I've ever felt
and I and I everyone in the waiting room was like why the fuck aren't they seeing this dude
what's wrong with this guy because I just sitting there like constant and the moment when the
doctors see you, I'm sure they, like, the way you described it, they see you and you have chest
pain and they're like, he's fucking dying. Everyone get in here. All the machine, boo, in the moment,
they're like, oh, he's not dying. Everyone just fucks off and you're still there, like,
and they're like, all right, calm down, sir, you're fine. All right, can I get a full history? Can you go
back to age of 13 if you could? But the huge switch from, you don't feel any better at all,
but you feel like you're going to die to the doctors being like, well,
get to you. All right, calm the fuck down. Like, you're going to be fine. That doesn't feel great.
I, it's not very fun in my experience. No, not at all. Yeah. I mean, it makes complete sense. And I,
the problem was, I kept saying, I have had a heart attack in my past, but it wasn't because my heart
was bad. It was a drinking thing. And then I have to explain that. And they're like, what does it
I mean. I'm like half Korean. I get, you know, I can't process alcohol all right.
What's Korean? Yeah, which Korean?
What does that mean? What does that mean? So, yeah, it took a bit.
Which half? Left, right, top bottom?
Yeah, that's what happened. That's why I was in the hospital. That's why all that occurred.
It wasn't my guts for once. It wasn't. It was because I played a prank on Chika.
Yeah, I assumed you had like a bowel obstruction or something because you love to get those.
Because you were pulling a prank without a carrot in the world.
I can't tell if he likes that or doesn't like that.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
That's a lie.
I don't like it.
You got two lie points right now.
That's a plus line, though.
I've not even been the one to lie.
I don't think.
Unless I did.
Anyway, so yeah, very painful.
Same kind of thing as an intestinal blockage.
But yeah, totally unrelated.
Not anything to do with my past history.
I just, hey, chew your carrots.
There might be something else.
I'm going to get a follow up and they're going to look.
I'm actually going to get an endoscopy.
Just in case, because if there's something else, because I've had baby carrots before,
I'm not the best chewer, but if there is something else, they're going to look just in case,
if there's like a lump or something like that or some kind of like,
if I've had acid reflux and haven't noticed it, and it's caused like scar tissue up there.
You know, there's a possibility to be something else.
So I am going to follow up, except when I call the doctor to follow up, this isn't my normal doctor,
like some of they referred to me.
Call them up.
I was like, hey, I want to get a follow up because I was in the hospital, and they're like,
all right
what for
I'm like
literally the attitude I got
uh well I mean I
I was in because I had a blockage
in my esophagus
uh huh
and they said I should get an endoscopy
you need to go under for that
I'm like
why
yeah
like what am I supposed to say that anyway
they haven't called me back
I think I called the wrong number or something
you don't sound like you can afford to go under
I don't know if we want to talk to you anymore sir
yeah like
they referred me to the doctor that they have at the insurance companies that
evaluates your cases over there.
This guy doesn't even know if you have to go under for an endoscopy.
Like we're going to see him.
Anyway, so, yeah, that's my story.
I've never had that, but that's honestly a fear,
kind of a small time fear that I have in my head.
Because I chew my food pretty well, but I'm the,
I've had it happen where, like, I'm eating something.
I can take a big bite and then immediately as you're like finishing taking the bite,
Someone is like, oh, hey, I haven't seen you in years, how you do it?
And I'm like, um, boom, boom, I'm like, try and hork it down real quick because you're trying to talk or whatever.
I've had a couple times where I like, it got down there and I started to feel the start of that pain.
And then I took a drink and I could feel the water just like sitting in my, and for a second, I was like, oh my God, can that happen?
But all like the couple times that's happened after a second, it just goes, push and flushes and I'm fine.
but that sounds really awful.
I can't imagine.
It's like really unpleasant.
I doubt there's many foods that can do that.
I mean, you'd have to be eating like chicken bones usually for something like that to happen.
I think carrots was probably the best thing for it because it's sharp, like it's crunchy,
but it's not going to tear my esophagus like a chicken bone would if it was fracture or something like that.
Yeah, well, and carrots are not very, they're not like water soluble, right?
Like, if you're eating anything with, like, bread or starch, and then you try and take a drink, or even just your saliva, it'll eventually dissolve a little.
Carrots are a little more like...
They get more plump and firm and, you know, they keep growing.
Actually, technically, yeah, they do kind of plump up, but I remember that Bill Nye thing about he dipped the carrot in water and yeah, I did that.
But I think that all in all of the things that could do it, which are like the hard kind of foods like that, that's probably the better one to do it.
Just harder to take care of.
All right, my next episode idea is you guys are going to have a baby carrot eating contest.
Whoever can eat the most baby carrots in one bite and swallow wins.
All right, a battle to the death.
Mark's all stretched out, so it's really going to be skewed in his favor.
Oh, I've got my, I've got my gluca gun right here so I can pre-glucca gun.
Gluck.
I'm going to pre-gluck.
I'm going to expand.
I am not stretched out because I was eating some things, and it's still, it's still kind of tender.
I like it's sore
to eat things
so I gotta eat
soft foods for a little bit
Do you know who really wants to kill you
are wagers and waitresses
because they wait
until right when you put a big bite
in your mouth
and you do like the first two chews
and they're like
how is everything
can I get you?
You're like drinks empty
like do you need anything
you better say it with your words
if you do
I'm not gonna notice your empty cup
and you're like
water water
I know I know that's a stand-up bit
and I know you're probably saying it
but I've never experienced that
because there are many more often than not
I am not stuffing food in my mouth
and I've seen you eat
I've seen you eat
it's every second
you don't breathe
you just eat
their mouth is never empty
when we're going out to dinner together
I occasionally come up for air
they don't wait for that moment
it's always the biggest bite
and I swear they watch
they like creep around the corner
and they're like oh he's about to take the bite
let's see if they need anything
no honestly I think Mark's spot on
I eat a lot
I'm like a big dude.
I'm stereotypically.
I eat a lot.
I'm a big guy.
You make me look like I don't eat very quickly and like I don't eat nearly enough food.
I don't know how you do it.
But I think it would be hard for a waiter to find a moment where you weren't in the process of shoving food in your mouth during a meal.
I think that's a you problem.
It's like the former president once said, eat fast and carry a big straw.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's what he said.
come here for all of your history knowledge
listeners and viewers
did you see eat fast and carrot a big straw
or carry I said carry
but carrot's hilarious because of what happened to you
that's tragic because what happened to you
that's what I meant
you know what I'm scratching all this out
I don't want to do anything
this episode is brought to you by Uber
you know that feeling when someone shows up for you
when you need it most
yeah we all need that sometimes
and Uber knows that
Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered.
It's showing up no matter what.
I think that might be them knocking on the door
because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting
them right to where you are.
To either them or the FBI, I'm not a hundred percent.
Sure.
Yep.
When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up.
Or there's a will?
We're on our way.
Uber.
On our way.
Download the app today.
All right.
So it is now well into the episode.
The laughs just don't stop.
except they do now because there's no time for really anything else we got to go with and
anything goes ah dart it I'm good at these okay you go first all right um what we're doing
anything goes whatever you want to talk about there's things I could talk about that might not
be topical I could kick it off with something that is but I've also just told the big story
how you can let him off the hook when he just jumped it and told you he's good at these
all right I won't let him off the hook you're on the hook you're on
The hook.
I want to talk about something.
Our body design.
I've been throwing football.
I've been playing basketball.
I've been swimming.
I've been doing different things.
And then like Bob said, we went and played a little bit at golf.
And my forearms hurt.
I've been doing the sports.
So why I hurt?
Why those muscles like not recognize.
I've been throwing football 20 yards for the last few weeks.
No, swing a golf club for an hour and a half and you have to be sore.
I'm a little bit peeved that my muscles weren't.
more prepared for that because I've been training
them. You haven't been training them in
golf? No, but they should
know better by now. Like if I work them out
in one way, they should be prepared for everything
because that's how body should work.
Braintel body be prepared.
Body no prepared. That's not my fault.
It didn't do its homework. That's not my fault.
It knew we were golfing like a month
in advance. But it didn't prepare.
It did not prepare.
Didn't even take a practice swing.
It's like, it makes me do all the work. And it's like,
why do we evolve this way?
I want to get out of there
Okay, so did I tell you about my
I was tired and I had this weird brain
fart that made me question
the nature of my reality? I don't think so
so I was driving
and it was like I wasn't dangerously sleep
deprived but I was talking in my own head
and I forget what it was exactly at this point that I said
to myself but in my head
you know you got the voice in your head right
and I know some people say they don't and I don't
believe them
oh it's there so
talk to myself in the car
and I say something in my head
that I misinterpreted
I heard myself wrong
and then answered my question
the opposite of what I intended
and I went back like oh no that's not what I meant
and I was like
floored instantly I was floored
because I was like
how did I mishear myself
who's listening
I was like
who's listening that could mishear me
what what I
I was done the whole day
You're having a Dexter Dark Passenger moment or something, yeah.
I mean, basically, I mean, they've said a lot and I've brought up like the, I don't think
it's even the right term, the bicameral mind.
I don't think that's the right term for it.
But it's like the experiments for the two halves of the brain, like how one's kind of a
silent passenger.
And it's like, if I'm talking, who is listening?
And how could I mishear myself?
How could I misinterpret what I said in my own head?
How is it possible?
because I answered the question that I asked myself wrong!
What is that?
Anyway, did both of you's, like, realize the whole time what was happening?
Like, one of you asked the question and the other one answered it wrong, and the first one was like, that's not what I asked you.
Exactly, yes.
It was exactly like that.
Like, no, that's not what I meant.
And that's what happened.
It's like, da-da-da-da-da-da.
That's not what I meant.
And then both of us just went, bong.
Who said that?
Dude, you are one.
precious lens away from Smeagle
galloping yourself. I mean, I think we
all are, you know? I think really we all are.
I'm really going to have to stick to my guns
and say that I just don't have
an inner dialogue. I just actually
don't. You don't see pictures in your
had no inner dialogue, this guy.
I don't. It sounds
completely crazy to me. The couple times
in my life that I ever feel like I've
heard a voice that like
wasn't a sound I was physically making
scared the shit out of me.
It physically, it like scares me.
so much that I'd like go and I look around
the house I'm like who the fuck
what? I do feel like
I'm talking in my head but it feels
more like if I was sitting in an empty room
and I was just like I got to remember
to do that thing later but it's
it's just silent thoughts it's like
I'm aware I would say it out loud
if I was alone but I'm not saying
it out loud so I'm just thinking it
but it doesn't feel like I'm it's just a weird
thing I feel like you're right I feel like I
kind of agree with you that it's like a perception thing
more than a different reality thing for people, but it really just doesn't, none of my experience
lines up with the like, oh, I see pictures. Oh, I talk to myself. Like, I don't, I don't. I really
doesn't feel like that. There are, there, the majority of the time I think it's like that
where it's like, it's not a conversation. It is just a passiveness that is applying, you know,
words to what's around me. Um, but many times it's, it's actual, I, I have a conversation with
myself all the time. I have conversations with myself too, but I don't hear much.
Like, if I'm speaking out loud, it's different.
It's not auditory, whenever I'm thinking.
It's, it's in my voice, and it's in the way I speak, but I don't hear myself.
I don't know how to describe, like, the thought process of, like, it's a conversation, but, like, it's lacking the auditory component while having the sensation of being auditory.
I suppose that, like, it's hard to interpret it one way or another because it's, like, you're not, obviously not hearing it, but...
I don't like this out of my own voice, and I don't mind listening to my thoughts, because it's not my voice.
you could have a conversation in your head
with different voices. Yeah, then I can
kind of hear it if I'm trying to do a voice, but if I'm
just having like a thought, it's not the same
thing. Does it sound like other people talking
or does it sound like you're just being like
Oh, I don't want to go to the party?
Oh, we have to go to the party. You know, you...
No, I, like, I think people
get this when they're like, oh man, I can hear
someone reading that or saying that thing
is like, I can, you can... I can, anyways, like, I can have another voice in my
head that is a perfectly different voice.
I can either apply to someone else that I've heard in my
life or it's like some kind of amalgamation.
So it's like, yeah, I can have conversations in my head with that.
That's weird.
That's the thing that scares me, because I do get that sometimes.
And if it ever gets to the point where I think it's not me, then I know I'm in trouble.
Yeah, well, that's what it's happened to me.
It's been like, it's been like auditory hallucinations where it's been like, I thought
I heard the voice from down the hallway and it was like a woman's voice.
And I'm like, oh, fucking, I'm home alone.
I control what voice it is.
Like, just now, I just imagine Morgan Freeman's voice actually sound like Morgan
Freeman. He just said, I'm Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. What a name. Morgan Freeman. Why are you
saying that, Morgan? I think you get like the impressionist version of Morgan Freeman, like saying
Morgan Freeman. I always think of that, uh, that G-mod meme of where he's like, they're playing
like prop hunt and one of the guys is like, can you hunt me as Morgan Freeman? And the guy just goes,
I can smell you. I think that was a gassy Mexican, right? That did the Morgan Freeman impression.
He did a really good one.
But I was going to ask, wait, so how much silence do you guys get?
Because I would say the majority of my, whatever the inner monologue, inner dialogue stuff is,
the majority of the time, I actually kind of just get like static, like silence.
I get that a lot because Mandy is like the opposite.
She's constantly thinking and talking.
And so when we're sitting not talking to each other, she'll just, you know, I'll have a face
and she'll be like, what are you thinking about?
And I'm like, nothing, emptiness, blank space.
and I people always act like that's fucking crazy like but I just have silence in my head a lot
I just actually don't do you guys get that or do you have a lot of constant something going on
mine's more like I'll be either thinking about something passively or I'll be remembering something
or like having a memory or random thought and then as soon as I'm pulled to like actively think
about it it's gone kind of like a dream like I'll know there was something there and it's like I don't
know I zoned out like there will have been something but I will have lost what it was
There's very rarely silence in my head.
I mean, that's, I think most people
have to have to meditate to get to that level of
Nirvana. I think you were just on a higher plane.
That sounds exhausting.
Kind of, a little bit, but not really, but sort of.
Like that, like, how do you sleep?
When you're laying in bed, do you have your voice
in your head is like, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. And you're just like, shut up,
we're sleeping now. This is why I'm awake
till like five, six in the morning. No joke.
That's why I'm up so late. I have trouble
shutting it down. That's crazy to me.
That sounds so crazy.
When I talk about how I first was able to finally make myself all sleep, it was,
shut up, we're sleeping now, literally exactly that.
And I had to like, you know, well, so, yeah, you got to shut up, we're sleeping now.
But yeah, we got a old quiet head over here.
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm just a more elevated person than all you other people.
But I literally just like, like that sound, that soft radio static is what's in my head a lot of the time.
I don't get the, I'm, my brain's very active.
Whenever like you guys say something and I miss it like earlier with the shirt being flipped thing, it's like, that's because I'm always listening to YouTube and also there's always an inner monologue in my head also talking. Oh, I couldn't do that. So I'm like, I'm like, oh, would that be funny? Oh, no, I probably shouldn't go with that one. Oh, let's, ooh, that makes me think about what were you guys saying? I have the same thing, but I've just gotten really good at trying to pick back up where things are. I don't have a success rate all the time, but I'll snap to it. Be like they've been talking. Context, who's, context, who's, context, who's, back in. Back in.
it baby another nailed it again i have to lean into it i lean into the i wasn't listening because
it's my thing i would never hear anything i if there's a tv on anywhere in the world and i'm trying
to talk to a person i can't hear either of them i can shut it down but i have to actively be like
no focus like i can do that but like if i don't actively tell myself too focus on what you guys
are saying i very easily slip into like you'll say something that sparks remember like oh i should
talk about that on this yeah that's a good topic that's a good thing to bring up that's my small
talk. And you guys would be like, Wade, and I'll be like, fuck. Yeah, I love Transformers. What were we
saying? Yeah, and you definitely said that before. It happens. It happens a lot. It feels like the
opposite to me. I have to like remind myself I'm supposed to talk. I'll just be sitting listening to
someone and we're having a conversation, but I'll just be like, yeah, I love what you're saying
right now. This is so interesting. And then they'll stop and I'll be like, oh, I respond now.
Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know this. But I was listening. I just love listening.
to people. It's fascinating.
And my brain picks up on every sentence you guys say at first and that it's like trying
to think about what I will respond with. And then you guys keep going. And then I lose
context. And it's like, oh, wait, wasn't listening. It's like, no, I was trying so hard.
You actually weren't listening though. So I just got to keep giving you shit.
Oh, he was listening. I wasn't listening at all, actually. I opened up a completely unrelated
tab just then. You could see by the light that shined on my face at another tab just opened and
I was not paying attention. I'm a deductive point for myself for not listening.
Ah, that was a long turn.
Who do I give a point to that for?
Wade, was that your discussion?
You get a, you get a, you get a, oh wait, no, I already gave you.
This started from Wade's body design.
Wait, no, that can't be right because it was something else.
No, yes, brain tell do thing, did you.
Yeah, you got a point for that.
Yes.
Well, I have news.
Thank God, Grandma's Dead, would be how I would summarize this story.
Library book was recently returned after being borrowed for 82 years in the
front of this library book, there's an old school stamp checkout check-in thing, and it got checked
out on, oh, whatever, June, oh, that's not even the book, whatever, it got checked out
82 years ago, approximately, and there's a big thing on the front of the book that says,
this is a 28-day book borrow every day that it's late is three cents in overdraft fees,
which if you do the math, would come out to $89,790.
after 82 years of not returning the book.
And that's not even accounting for inflation.
Yeah, no, that's just straight multiplying it.
That's, uh, yeah.
But luckily, the book was originally checked out by the person who returned its grandmother.
And they were going through an old family home and cleaning out, like an attic or storage or something.
And they found this book.
And they were like, oh, shit.
And they brought it back to the library.
And they were like, they left a note in the book, a handwritten note that said,
Uh, my grandma borrowed this.
She's not going to be able to pay you guys.
Sorry, and they just shoved it in the thing.
And, uh, because grandma wasn't around anymore.
Grandma had passed away.
Thank God.
Thank God, because they would have owed 90 grand in overdraft fees.
Sort of like the opposite of the situation that you have gone on with Apple,
where they're trying to get that penny from you.
Hey, they haven't sent a message since.
I think I'm in the clear.
They're charging you $6 a day for every day.
you don't pay the penny.
But what I want to know is who at Apple listens to our podcast
because that's the only place that I know about it.
And hey, wait, no, not that.
Hey, look at me, Apple.
I want you to know that if you are listening to this
and you are in any way able to get me free Apple things
because I've been trying for, hey, I would love,
I've been shouting Apple for a long time
and no one has been knocking on my door
to give me stuff and I see other people
get stuff all the time. Why don't I ever get
stuff? Even though I got free stuff.
Holy shit, wait, I got to make a promo video for Prusa.
Oh, fuck. Oh, that's
like six months old.
Ah, shit. Oh, God.
Oh, they gave me so much free stuff.
Apple, wait, listen, hold on.
I can be trusted with the free stuff.
Hey, if you want a pre-printer, get Prusa.
They are the great. They're so reliable.
Literally, this sounds fake. It's true.
I think I know why people,
don't give me anything that's a whole journey of self-discovery right there yeah I know
how many points did you lose for that another one minus one for Prus I think you should
lose a point for every day you didn't do the promo for Prusa you're right oh man hope your
grandkids one day come in and turn this tens because uh ooh and they trusted me so good they
were like hey we don't need a contract nothing we're just going to send you stuff if you ever
need anything. You just email
us, we'll get it to you. And they did.
And I haven't done anything
for them. I'm the worst.
You know what, Mark?
It worked on me. When I buy
a 3D printer, I'm buying a Prusa.
Okay, that's good.
I might.
You would just buy it and leave it in the box.
Don't even... They were being used aggressively
this past week for another
YouTuber's project that I'm helping out with.
So that's... Nice.
Yeah. So they're being used and they work beautifully.
Except one clogged, but that's not their fault.
They were kind of sitting there for a bit.
And also the person who plugged them and used the complete wrong filament setting.
Yeah, 3D printer's got a really chew before they process.
All right, what's next?
Wade, you're up.
Oh, shit.
I had something.
Oh, you know what?
I've got breaking news-ish yesterday.
For all of my sports fanatics out there, I know who you are, the three of you, Tyler.
Thank you for listening and watching.
the Vangel signed Trey Hendrickson to a one-year contract.
It's kind of wild.
I know that's not something a lot of people care about,
but this is a big star player that we've had for a long time,
and they've had this negotiation going on for a very long time for this contract.
And from what we'd heard, it was like, hey, we're going to sign you to three years.
You agree?
Great, we agree.
We're going to give you this much per year.
Great, you agree?
We agree.
We're going to guarantee you the first year.
I want three years, guarantee.
No, we're going to guarantee you the first year.
No, I want three years.
And somehow all of that turned into, what if we don't do any of the things we agreed to,
this 90-page contract of which we agreed to 89 and a half pages?
What if we just do one year and give you an extra 14 million?
Yeah, that's great.
A week before the season starts, basically.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Other players are being signed.
They're getting these contracts.
The Bengals know what comparable contracts should be.
Why are they so stubborn?
That's why they're such a good franchise.
That's why they win so much because they're really stingy.
and they make sure all of their contract negotiations are as awkward and last second as possible.
NFL contracts blow my mind.
I don't get it.
Also, eventually, are we going to hit like a cap of like, because every year, right,
the next contract's a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more.
There's only like so much money in the world, right?
I know we keep printing it, but like eventually you can't just keep increasing 10 people's salaries
every year while the rest of the world stays in one spot, right?
Something bad will happen, right?
It's going to be bad.
It can't be good, right?
My understanding is whatever you said is crazy, and that's not how it works.
Yeah, that's obviously.
I don't know.
I feel like we don't get raised.
We don't work normal jobs, but even when I did.
I didn't get a raise every single year.
It wasn't like, oh, you're hired as a clerk.
You get $7 an hour next year.
Oh, you're hired as a clerk.
You get $10 an hour.
That's not how it happened.
Well, I don't know if it should be a 40% raise every year.
But I do think people probably should get a raise every year.
but you should like match the pace of like inflation and cost of living increases which they
don't like in America that's pretty uncommon but like they should but they don't which is why it's
so funny like really funny when you look at the whole minimum wage argument and how it hasn't
changed at all and yet the inflation from the last time it was changed to now is it's so funny
funny because it hasn't changed at all
and it's totally still the same value
and amount of buying power for the same
minimum wage and everything's fine.
No, no, it's funny because
those kids think they deserve
money. They're like
35 million, I want 35 and a half million and most people are like
dude, 750 sounds like I don't know what the minimum
wages now, but for me it was like, dude, 750,
I would love 50 more sense.
Dude, it's not
750, man. It's not
750.
That's good because that wasn't much money even 12 years ago.
It's not 7.50, man.
Ah, 12.50. It would love 1250.
Nope. Go down.
This is still 7 and a quarter.
It's 7 and a quarter.
Oh, no. It's less than 12.
It's less than 12, man. It's 7 and a quarter.
I thought minimum wage went up a little bit.
No.
When I got my first part-time job, I think, it had just recently gotten.
up to 725 and I was like yes 725 and then that's still that was a long time ago and it's
in California it's 1650 which is basically like 350 in Ohio but that's a state law not a
not federal minimum wage federal minimum wage has stuck I can't believe you said 750 that's so
funny well that's how much I made as an assistant manager was 750 an hour oh good
Yeah, last time it's changed was 2009.
Hooray.
So wait, as assistant manager, I was making 25 cents more than minimum wage.
Yeah, more than minimum wage.
So, you're welcome.
Oh, we also had no breaks because we worked at a food place.
We didn't have to be given breaks.
We got to work a 12-hour ship with no official breaks and stuff.
It was...
That wasn't the laws, was it?
That's what the truth of the matter was.
You get like a 15-minute lunch if you work eight-hour...
I mean, not like I know employment laws anymore, whatever.
That seems wrong.
I worked at, uh, I worked at, like, Jimmy Johns and pizza places.
I only worked at food places.
And we always got, you always got like a 15 minute lunch.
If you had more, is it more than an eight hour shift?
15 minute lunch.
That's, holy shit.
That's so nice.
That's more than I got.
Yeah, it's, well, it's called lunch, but it's just a break.
You get one for, per eight or more hours, you get one 15 minute break was what we always lived with.
My memory's not the best.
maybe I'm remembering wrong.
In the middle there somewhere, you get 15 minutes to, like, go to the bathroom or something.
But I worked there for two and a half years, and I'm pretty sure two years, I'm
sure sure I never got an official break ever.
I was a delivery driver, so, like, we would just go hide in the walk-in or just not
come back for a while from deliveries.
So, you know, like, I found breaks, but they weren't, they weren't paying me enough to not
do that.
Yeah, if you're paid that little and it's, you know, it's, it's been a while,
I worked a job like that and I've worked my fair share.
I don't even remember at that sushi place.
Did we get any breaks?
I never really took a break anywhere because I was standing around most of the time anyway.
We didn't really get official breaks.
I was always a busser.
I never, you switched and I never switched.
My only breaks I remember was you could stand in dry glasses and that was like you could
sort of lean in the back and dry glasses and that was it.
Oh, yeah.
We never really had like a break, break.
But they would give us, they would feed us if you started or before dinner started,
You would come in and you could get a family meal or whatever, and it was really good.
That's why that job was so great.
And then when I couldn't go back to it, because I had my whole explosion going on.
Your inside explosion?
Actually, it was after that.
I had a lot of back pain for some reason.
I think it was related.
It was either before, I can't remember when it was.
But that was a great job.
And then I, yeah, probably.
Ohio, nor federal law, requires a place to legally give you a break.
So you can be worked 12 hours with no meal or rest breaks.
All right.
Well, that must have just been policy at the places that I worked, but most are good places
give them.
I mean, 15 minutes, 15 minute break in an eight hour shift, really not asking that much.
Ohio, not too great, huh, man?
Huh, man.
Next time I go work my minimum wage job, I'll let you know how hard it is.
Oh, man.
Honestly, if you're hiring people for a specific job or task or something and they get all
their work done, why do you fucking care what they do?
If I pay you to work a full-time job, which is 40 hours a week, and you can do every single thing I expect of you in 38 hours or 35 hours or 25 hours.
Who fucking cares?
I guess I could be like, well, I should assign you more work, but like that's not how jobs work.
If you do your job, you do it well, good job.
The whole obsession with like, you got to be in the office, you got to be available in certain hours.
It's like, man, you guys need a fucking life.
You guys need something outside of work to care about.
Don't you have like a family or something or anything?
Not anymore.
Maybe that's judgy and shitty of me,
but I never, never understood the obsession with that sort of stuff.
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So that'll bring us to a conclusion.
Wade, you got anything negative to say
about California? Be careful.
My pencils on the paper.
Yeah, your tax is fucking below.
Got them.
Yeah, our tax is
pay for the benefits. I don't care
what fucking California taxes pay for. I don't live
there. Maybe you should.
Boo!
Gulf of... What is our country called?
United States or whatever is better.
Fuck the Pacific.
Is that where Ohio's located? The Gulf of the United States?
Yeah, just twice removed.
It's like...
We're on the shoreline of the Gulf of the Gulf of the United States.
You know, Kentucky.
We're considered east. Go. Midwest.
Fuck.
honestly we should be our own region
there's all this stuff where people are like ohio's not midwest
and like culturally a lot of ohio is but i get it because we're pretty far east
but we're definitely not east coast i feel like ohio valley
i mean what are we great great lakes region is do we get to be included in that
are we great lakesy we touch one of those we touch it all over
we put all our nastiest shit into the lake erie lights on fire by us
because it's cool thank god the ohio river's never had anything bad going to it
yeah yeah it's good river good river that was great guys it was great it was great man wade your
size is weird what does that mean what was that mean it's it's got two lie points some negatives
a scratched out completely thing going on here man you you might want to flip that coin something right
all right unfair i'll do it right now all right i well you didn't i didn't what is it for what
what's unfair tell us i was going to say let me read it first at that
Then you could decide to declare unfair.
To your points?
Yes.
All of Wade's points are unfair.
I like this.
This could go really well for me.
All right.
So if it's all unfair, then I need to reverse all of the points values.
But I'll tell you that's not going to help you.
No, I like this.
This is good.
At least that they'd be fair.
You couldn't let me read them first.
All right.
No, that would have been more unfair.
All right, okay.
All right, okay.
Where's my coin?
There it is.
Here we go.
Oops.
Heads?
Tails.
Tails.
Sorry, bud.
All right.
Very fair.
Very fair points.
Fair points.
Thank you, Mark.
For fair game.
All right.
So, Bob, you got, you made James alive.
You can't hear voices in your head, nerd.
Shut up.
We're sleeping now.
Thank God, Grandma's dead.
And then there was a lot more discussion after that, and I kind of stopped writing.
But that's four.
points for Bob, there.
Oh, low bar.
Wade, you lost a point for agreeing,
for agreeing with me, for agreement.
Man, see, things like that, he could have said.
You could have said,
oh, no, you both were in agreement
that you should lose a point. That's what it was.
Oh, that's right. We agreed. Wade
should lose a point. That's right.
I don't think I knew that's what I was agreeing to, but yeah, I guess I did.
I have a minus one copying point, but that's a lie,
so it doesn't count right now.
Unless.
Unless.
Real makes it count.
You got one point for like a me.
Ah!
Then you got a plus one point without a carrot in the world.
It's because you choked out a carrot.
Do you remember that?
It's also a lie point, so it doesn't count.
Oh.
So you...
There was a point for eat fast and carrot something.
I crossed that because I...
Carrot a big something.
Straw.
Carrot a big straw.
He didn't say...
He didn't say carrot a big straw.
He said carry a big straw.
Oh, actually, it was a minus one.
point, and I scratched it out because I felt like that was unfair.
Well, I think you should probably count that one.
Too late now.
Anyway, and then you got one for Wade's body design.
So you're a net plus one unless the lies come in.
All right, baby.
All right.
Okay.
We got this.
Thank God I set such a low bar.
I feel like the contextualization of the unfair.
You can frame it in a way that even if it doesn't come up the way you want,
I believe you could wait in the future.
I believe you can use the unfair coin
if you word your unfair carefully
so that if it turns up the more likely thing
then you might still benefit.
I think it's unfair that unfair was already used
and we should get to use it again.
Ah, too late.
Okay.
Wade calls Super Secret double unfair.
How many?
It's gonna be two.
All right.
One man show.
What do we add to the wheel, Mark?
Let's put another lie one on there
because I want it to work.
Wait, what are the lies ones that are there?
So, uh, lie points count?
No, there's already a lie points count, and there's always a lie points.
I think there's a lie point doubling or reverse.
Lie points doubled, lie points don't count.
Okay, so lie points do count, but that wouldn't matter because you had a plus and a minus lie point.
So there's still at one?
You still have plus one.
Oh, cool.
But okay, all right, okay, let's do another lie one is like, um,
Absolute value of lie points
They all become positive
That was that was how I was the whole thing
Like all lie points are positive
So it's like absolute
Absolute lies
Absolute value
Oh man
We're going into real math
Live points absolute
We'll definitely remember what that means
Yeah
I think we
If you put the two lines around absolute
You think we'll remember that
Oh I see where I get that
Oh nice
All right
We got two spins coming up
Two spins
Wade you have a chance
Technically
Also surprise golf rules
is out here still.
Happiest contributions?
You did make James alive, Bob, but
Wade was complaining about
his forearms hurting.
I saved
great-granddaughter
$80,000, $90,000.
That's true.
I complained about
pay. And I talked about my pain,
so I think that goes to Bob. No, Wade
don't get discouraged. Now, hold on.
Pain, payment, arm soreness.
Those are...
Yeah, I think Bob gets it.
You could still win.
I could.
There's ways.
Theoretically, and it would be hilarious.
This wheel is dense.
Oh!
Oh!
Yes!
Holy shit!
How many points that give me?
All right, so you had two lie points, one negative one positive.
Now, both of those are positive.
Since they canceled each other out, that's a net gain of two points.
That gets me two.
three wait does the scratchout point was that a lie does it count now too no no even if that did it
would still only get a four um bob has five points respin respin respin nope that was really good about
you getting the absolute that's how lies can really come in yeah that makes lies a big swing actually
i kind of like that because the other ones kind of like make them kind of like ooh risky but that one's
like okay well bob wins i think no matter which way i look at this is it
It's the winner.
So, Bob, how do you feel?
As the greatest competitor to ever play the game, I feel pretty good.
I expected this.
I knew it was going to happen.
I deserve it.
Way more than Wade does.
And I'm excited.
I'm excited to grant my glorious hosting another time to the glorious viewers and slightly
less glorious listeners at this podcast.
You're pre-welcome.
Thank you.
you're welcome uh Wade
I tried to say it was unfair
the coin disagreed so I guess I'll swallow my lumps
even if I still disagree
I will not be enacting the filibuster
that is my right for the podcast
I will just take the lump and lose
is that is that a thing
we didn't say it wasn't a thing
we didn't say a lot of things wasn't a thing
that's true implications that we have
exactly but maybe one day if I don't agree fully
I'll hold out I will hold this whole podcast up
but today is not that day.
I do believe he would do that.
Oh, I would.
I was saying I believe.
Well done.
Congratulations on losing.
All right.
Thank you, Bob.
Thank you, Wade.
Bob, you congratulate your big win.
You're going to host the next one.
Everyone at home is beautiful.
Thank you.
You get plus two beauty points.
Hey, I'll give you a wheel spin.
And if it lands on something, you're, you're, I can't promise your dreams will come true.
But they'll double in size.
your dreams will double in size or
they'll shrink by half
listen to these guys my scream, Lord Dominion 7777. I'm Mark Blark
and have a good day. A podcast out.