Distractible - Anything Goes (Part 3)

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

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Guarantee exclusions details at T-Mobile.com slash home internet. Good evening, gentle listeners guild or watchers. And welcome to Distractable. This episode, Marooned Mark talks exploding dongs. gives us a three-quil. Bijou Bob makes everyone come while stuffing. Waxes Wicked

Mr. Presley and constantly compabulates. Witching Wade is dubbed Wattu due to Gen V but raises vegemite, hentai and bald eagles. From slaughtering podcasts to samurai bears

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's time for Anything Goes Part 3. Now sit back And prepare to be distracted And enjoy the show Welcome to

Distractable The only show you'll ever need Because we killed all the others ones We killed them dead We snuck into their apartments And now those shows don't exist anymore Yeah, we killed all those others ones metaphorically, of course. By being so good? What, you got an episode where we insulted them

all? Finally worked? Yes, they're all gone. Good. Yes, and now people only have us. Well, you know, I don't know if the world would be a better place if we were the only podcast in the world, but I know it wouldn't be a worse place. Well, hey, his point is arguable. His point is arguable. It's up to you if you want to argue with, though. No, I choose not to, but it's arguable. That's rainy out. I'm too tired today.

Given that it's the podcapocalypse, podcapulic, podcapacolips, podcapacolips. Podcastapolips. Podcatholics. Nope, that's not it. Pod Catholics, yeah. Bycatholics. Given it, it's the pod Catholics, I had, forget my point I was going to made. I was going to say something clever and woody after that.

I think I just rubbed bacon grease into my eye. Oh, dude. Is that a new skin care routine for your eye skin? What do you keep at your desk? Mr. Clean and Bacon? No, I mean, I ate the bacon, but I haven't, I didn't exactly wash my hands since that moment. So, that doesn't sing. I'm fine. Oh, you can make some gravy in those keepers.

My name is Mark Blar. I'm going to be the host today. I've got my scoreboard and I've got an episode idea. And the people that I'm going to subject to my whims is these guys. Bob. And Wade. It's us, baby. Yeah, only one of them is going to see the end of this episode.

I never watch our episode, so it'll probably be Wade, I guess. Am I representing the listeners again? But I can only hear the end. We represent the Listeners Guild. It's going to be stuck in my head now. You did it. I don't take credit for that. Dude, I just got Pink Pony Club out of my head after the last like four days.

I needed something else. This is fine. Is it Scary Movie 3 where they're like the killer videotape from the ring? Like, we're playing it all day. Here it is again. They just keep playing the ring tape on repeat. I don't remember accurately enough to know, but... Oh, Shizzle Gizengar.

Never mind. Look, Scary Movie 3 was a really, really funny movie. It shouldn't have been that funny. No. For being the third in the franchise and completely different directors. Third movies are often the best. Godfather Part 3, you know? The Matrix?

Revolutions. What's that one called? It's the third one called? Re-revised? Frozen 3. I'm melting. Oh, that was pretty good. That was pretty good.

All right. Small talk. Man, it's been, it's, I don't want to date this episode too hard, but it is coming out the day after American Thanksgiving. I don't know if you could tell. I'm pretty sick. I did not sleep last night. I'm feeling great.

And guests arrive at our house, which we moved into less than two weeks ago for Thanksgiving in approximately 30 hours, totally ready. We have done all the grocery shopping and stuff and we have a plan, but like, I got a little sick over the weekend and I was like, all right, I'm on the other side. And then yesterday night, I just had a pretty miserable night. It's not the flu or anything. I took one of them nose tests, but boy, do I love getting sick right before hosting a house full of people I'm supposed to cook for. Do you have a moral responsibility to not host those people if you're sick? Because you could get them sick? Possibly. I'm definitely at the point now where I don't it's it's just a cold I don't I took a COVID flu test it's none of those

things and I'm like on I'm actually on the backside of it today and it's going away but I honestly don't know the thing is we're kind of it's all family and even if I told everyone like hey I'm sick I've cold so like you know it's up to you if you want to come pretty sure they would all just come anyway I don't they're not concerned about it and they'd rather just hang out I wouldn't pending menu Thanksgiving food I mean pending menu I'd be there. Turkey, stuffing, you familiar? I've heard of it.

Anyway, that's all that's been going on. Okay, I give you a point for being a plague bearer. Yeah, I'm patient zero. If our entire family's wiped out in two weeks, it's probably me, probably whatever I had. I'm actually calling you plague host because, well, I guess you're not the host, but plague host sounds cool, and it sounds like a plague ghost, so there's multiple ways that you could have fun with that one. It sounds like premeditated, scripted winning to me.

Can I request to be called the original Plague Boy? No. Oh. Wade, you may be the original Plague Boy. Thank you. I'm not sick. If you so choose. You better get sick if you're going to take that moniker.

I'll try. I'll try. Is that your sick voice? Oh, it's me. Very sick boy. It's Plague. Hello. We, you're very sick.

Oh, man. I forgot that's what happens when Wade gets sick. I hate it. Oh, man. No, I just have bad allergy. Doesn't have been good. I'm not done. a whole lot. I've worked a lot.

I played some really great games. I was talking to Mark about all these great games he should try, but he's, you know, busy or something. I watched Gen V season two. I started watching Welcome to Dairy. I've caught up on a little bit of shows the last couple of days. What is Gen V season two? Am I supposed to know what that is? So the boys, the superhero show that's like real crazy. They have a spinoff called Generation V or Gen V. That's the juice they drink that makes them all super de-duper, right?

It is exactly the juice that they drink that makes them all super de-duper. I watched GenV season two, which I've been trying to watch for like a couple months and just haven't had time. Caught up on that. I started watching Welcome to Dary, but not all of that's out yet. That's the Pennywise It show. I do actually know that one. I think Stranger Things Season 5 comes out this week. And then Fallout Season 2 is coming out soon.

I want to watch those as well. So I've got a lot of shows I want to watch. I watched The Boys for a little bit. And then, all right, I know people probably have made this commentary a thousand times. But it just seems like the people that make that show just want to. to make the grossest shit possible to put on the grossest shit on the screen. Because I got to that episode and

all right, spoiler and or sensor warning, skip ahead. It's where the one that can shrink goes in. Do you know? Oh yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. You mean the thing that everyone always theorized Ant Man totally should do, but Marvel would never allow? Well, he went in the front, didn't he? He was a pipe cleaner. I got to there and I was like That's enough of this show for me

I'm okay I'm just all right Oh don't worry GenV season two has its own take on something similar Oh good yeah He was so good the first time That's gonna get him to watch it I'm gonna call you the watcher

Thank you I know that character from Marvel's What If Which I've not seen the last season or two of that but I don't I kind of like binge shows I'll watch a bunch of shows for like three days catch up be done and then I'll go the rest of the year be like oh there's all these shows I want to watch and then like just one random week of the year I'm like you know what this week I catch up on shows I haven't done that in a long time I hadn't uh but yesterday I was just like I'm taking a day

and just watching stuff and being brain dead and having some brain rot I enjoyed it it's nice well that's good that's good This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah. We all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered.

It's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI. I'm not 100% sure. Yep. When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will.

We're on our way. Uber. On our way. Download the app today. All right, you boys ready for an episode? Oh, I'm ready to rumble. I already did. So I have an idea here, and it's going to blow your minds.

It's called Anything Goes Part 3, where I don't do shit, and you guys have to go do that shit. All right. All right, man. All right, all right, all right. So here's, here's the, the thing we're going to flip the thing and you guys are going to, uh, uh, take turns, very specifically, take turns, giving me any kind of information or article or things happening in the world, try to keep him relatively topical, that are going on, and then I will judge its worth. Heads is weighed this time. Because he's bald.

I can see into the future that I'm going to win. Hens! There you go. You get the go-first point. That's okay, because I know I have something to talk about that there's a 0% chance you're going to steal from me, Wayne. I'm confident. Excellent.

Well, I've got to take this before you find it. All right, and go. All right, this is three weeks old. I apologize for that, but I think it's worth. Soldier boys' latest handhold counsel, counsel? Consoles are out. Soldier Game Flip and Soldier Game X. Now available for purchase.

Game flip? That's crazy. We've not had a Soldier Boy update in so long. Wait, what's the difference between those? No idea. But they're both original Soldier Boy ideas, and they are for sale. What's the price? I didn't say on this particular page.

Let me see if I can find it. Wait, what's the Soldier Game Pro? Soldier Game Pro is 17775, but you can get it in black, white, or blue. Oh yeah, there's the pro. I see the Soldier Game Pro. and the soldier game box. Stop talking about this. Oh, okay. Stop talking. Stop talking about it.

You hear? I don't know what that sound is, but I don't care for it. I don't know why it's, I don't know why that's the sound effect. What the fuck? All right. So the thing that people reminded me that I forgot about the last anything goes is that I had a random timer. And you only ever had that timer to say your entire story in. So now we can no longer talk about soldier.

boy. That has been done. There is no discussion to be had. And then Bob will go. And then Bob, you get a random time. I've set it between one second and three minutes. God, I hope it's one second. All right. A podcast that I follow, I think it may have, I don't remember what it was. I think it was an NPR podcast possibly. An episode came on this week. The new Wicked Movie came out, which is the second movie of a play, a musical that only that shouldn't have been two movies. and the second act of which is barely even a thing and I thought it was really funny

because the podcast is three people and they're going to talk about it and it's like two critics and then one other critic who's a huge wicked fan like uses the wicked like loves it seen it on Broadway loves it

and one of the ones who's not a huge fan went fuck damn that I couldn't even give you a point for that what was that 28 seconds that was 31 seconds that was pretty close 28 seconds

later will be the sequel. All right, so now we all know how the game goes. You got to get your story out there quick. Or else you're never going to know anything about it. I'm ready. Put me in, coach. Okay, ready? Three, two, one, go.

Netflix announces 50 cent produced Diddy documentary series proving it's all about the Benjamin. Oh, my God. That was the whole sentence. I didn't even get the whole sentence out. Well, there's no way he gets a point for that. Four seconds. Four seconds!

Sorry, man. I don't even know what you were talking about, so I can't give you any... Oh, I should be used to only having four seconds. My turn? Yeah, your turn, Bob, ready? The clock starts when I start... Okay, in Bangkok, a woman in Thailand scared the shit out of several people when she started moving after they opened her coffin to cremate her.

She had been... Apparently decided to be dead, put in a coffin, and showed up at a... crematorium or whatever you call it, a place where they cremate dead remains so they can be sent to the crematorium. And they opened the coffin to get the body out to chuck it in the furnace. And she was all, hey, wait a minute. And they were like, what the fuck do you mean? Wait a minute. Get in the furnace! Or something. I assume that's the exchange that they had. Did they put her in there? The 65-year-old woman's brother drove her from her province to this temple where they do the cremation. there's no information about how the brother got her into the coffin or if he's been arrested

the brother had no official death certificate or anything he was just trying to get rid of his sister I guess I don't know that was close if that was uh if they didn't know she's she's she's fine now I mean the brother's story was that she's that woman had been bedridden for a couple years and that her health was in very bad shape and he thought that she had become unresponsive and appeared to stop breathing for more than a day before he decided she was dead and tried to bring her

and apparently he also attempted to bring her to a hospital and the hospital was like nah dude you can't get in one you go to the obvious next step which is I guess okay so he brought her to a hospital because she expressed a wish to donate her organs and the hospital

was like we can't take random organs from this random dead that was great you got a lot of time for that one I was very responsive to the time or two. I was being very respectful. That is very good. All right. Wade,

were you ready? Oh, I'm ready. Should I go when you go or should I say three, two, one go? Go, go when he goes. Give him the best shot. All right. Joe Burroughs back for Cincinnati Bengals.

They're spinning on people. They're concussed. They're injured. They're still better than the defense. The offense is somehow still outperforming the terrible defense. Worst defense maybe ever in the history of the NFL. Well, that's just not true. Wait, who's spitting on who?

Oh, Jamar Chase was spitting on a defensive back from that other team we played. Yeah, Jalen Ramsey. At the end of the game two weeks ago, or over a week ago recording this, the Jalen Ramsey came at Jamar Chase and threw hands and punched him, and everyone was like, what the shit? And then like the next day it came out that the Bengals player Chase had spit on him during the course of the game because they had been up on each other's bidness. I don't know who started it, but that was.

completely unacceptable that he did that. Yeah, that's a ridiculous thing. Honestly, football, like, pro athletes, throwing, punching someone with a helmet on in the helmet. One, stupid, break your fingers. Two, kind of like unacceptable, bad example. But I at least understand it's heated. Like these guys are fighting for their lives.

It gets heated. Fine. Spitting on someone? Crazy-ass choice. Yeah, I don't like the spinning at all. Pretty ashamed of that. Pretty stupid. You know, I should have watched what it was.

I think there was another hook in the last. game that I did of this they'll tell you and then that can be another episode premise that we do we'll do the perfectest anything goes wasn't it the last person talking wasn't it like the last person talking about that so it gets the point I think it may have been we definitely had an episode where whoever was talking when the timer went off got a point I have no idea if it was anything goes man I was so clever back then oh man what happened to me we were younger Man, now I've got to go pull up

Didn't we talk about that guy who stole his Kid's blood or whatever? He's getting younger That was it! That was it! Whoever was talking last Got the point. That's what it was I forgot! All right Everyone shut up. That was three years ago. I can't

remember what happens. That was over three years ago actually. Can you believe that? I don't believe how long this has been happening now. Yeah, I can't because I don't remember anything that happened last week. I was thinking about whether I wanted Cheetos or Cheetos puffs. Puffs, obviously. I don't know.

Sometimes I like the extra crunch. I do. See, that's the thing. I like both. You know, Mandy hasn't worked out, though. You know what it is. You have to get Cheetos puffs and then regular flaming hot Cheetos.

And you consume them together in a mix because then you get the puffs and the crunch, whether you get the regular and the spicy and you can mix and match. Is this your topic? Should I have started the timer? I mean, it can be. All right. So to clarify for everyone that's very confused in how this episode is going, because clearly, rules only applied

three years ago. The way this game works is I have a timer. That's a random time and it's not just get the topic and it's whoever's talking last gets the point. So, I'm going to drop the time down to two minutes, which I believe is what I had before

and it's still one second to two minutes. So now there's two minutes or any random time in between and the last person talking goes first. It reminds me the munch. where you had like the pretzels and chips and that are you know i always thought those did not live up to the name i get what they're going for but it needs to be like i liked them they were my dinner sometimes

when i worked at ud s it used to be like way better if it's going to be called the munchies it's really not any more special than just like a checks mix it's just other checks like it's fine it's good it's good to me but i am the blandest person i know yeah you don't even like the flavor on your food bob wins that point good job bob i don't know what that was about cheetah Yeah, Mandy's Cheetos. All right, cool. Well, good job, Bob. You introduced it and you got the point there. Wade, go.

Oh, oh, man, I was ready. Twitch. Oh, Twitch makes me so mad and happy, depending on the day. Happy on payday, mad the rest of the month. That's a bad spread. What's, why are you so mad? Bob wins. I can tell you. I have a reason to tell you about, but man, I won't tell you.

You'll never know my Twitch T. It's okay. I have a good one, locked and loaded. All right. you ready? You better be because the timer started. A Missouri judge who wore an Elvis Presley wig in his courtroom and played the singer's music from his phone during court proceedings has agreed to a deal that will cut his career on the bench to an end. He is going to step down. Judge Matthew Thornhill, who is a judge in suburban St. Louis, faces a six-month unpaid suspension and he will resign after a disciplinary hearing where they had to discuss

his Elvis in impersonation during court proceedings. So he was actually Elvis. He was sitting on the bench and the defense attorney would be like, objection, Your Honor. And he'd be like, what does Elvis sound like? I remember the classic Elvis. Elvis stuff, you know? The jailhouse rock.

Blue suede shoes and whatever. Hound dog. I can't imagine a context in which this makes even the slightest bit of sense. But what would you? you do if you were in court and your judge was just like an Elvis or was, you know, whatever, I don't know. The judge was Elvis? I thought it was one of the other,

it's the judge. No, this is the judge. This is the judge of the court. And Bob gets the point! Oh, that laugh almost got you in there Wade, that chuckle would have counted. Praise a little thing called guilty. You're going to prison. I mean, pretty much

I would have concerns as a defendant. I mean, we can't talk about it. I'm not talking about it. Yeah, that top. is over and dead. Wade, are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. A prisoner in Australia is challenging the state's ban on inmates eating Vegemite,

claiming that it is his human right to enjoy Vegemite. Vegemite, that's the right word. Yes. Okay, I confuse that with Vagicil sometimes, which is weird to say out loud, but my brain does. Why would you need to know what Vagicil is for any reason? In case I ever go to prison, I need to have my human right to Vagicil. Vegemite. Which one are we talking about? Vegemite. You brought up the topic. I just didn't know there was a human right to Vegemite.

I'm gonna get you a tub, a tub of Vegemite and a tub of Vagicil. All right, great Vegemite Vagicil topic. Darn you, Bob, we're talking in a normal human cadence. Vegicil. I'm just having a conversation. Oh, there was so much more to this article. We'll never know. Vegycil. Yeah, Vegisil. You get the Vegisil point, but I'm trying to write down who brought it up and then draw an air. to who gets the actual point. It's like, do you remember Hina and Hentai?

I used to confuse those. It's the same thing. I remember how you told a bunch of fans, including relatively youngish fans, that you were getting a hentai tattoo, yes. Yeah, they were with their parents at a convention. Like, oh, loser gets a hentai tattoo. You guys should come watch.

Yeah, I remember that. That was a good day. That was very funny. You did it a lot. You did it multiple times. That's not like after the fact embarrassment. I still get thinking about it. I don't like it.

All right. Wade. Yay! I didn't know what the topic was. All right. That's going to Wade there. Bob Good topic on the Hena. Wait, you didn't bring that up.

That was kind of an equal contribution topic, really. It was your turn. I'm going to change the alarm. It's too abrasive. I want cheery. That's awful. I don't think we're starting a children's cartoon. That's a bit better.

Ooh. Okay, everybody ready? Whose topic is it? Wade, is your topic. Go. Oh, there's a motorist in North Carolina who told 9-1-1, they had a bald eagle drop a cat through their windshield. That's kind of a crazy experience, wouldn't it be? I question how you could know that so specifically.

Obviously, if something went through the windshield, that's pretty concrete proof that something went through the wind. But they were watching and they were like, oh, is that a bald eagle? Oh, it's a carried a cat? Was he dropping the cat? Oh, my windshield. Oh, great topic, Bob.

Is it all over? No! Yeah, and don't you hear the gong? No. You didn't hear the gong? No, I was so busy being caught up in Bob's description. I was just imagining it. That's exactly how it happened.

Uh-oh, I lost a contact, ladies. Hold on. You lost a cut. Oh, it's there. It's there. Be careful rubbing those eyes, dude. Yeah. I got sucked up into the void.

No, Jal could experience the perfection that is my eyes. That I rubbed bacon grease into earlier. So good, the grease made them even better. Is that your secret? I actually the secret is, okay, total sidebar. I'm not turning a timer for this. I always forget that eyedrops are a thing. Like, I'll go through my whole day.

It being like, ah, God, if only, if only there was some way to cure this. Oh, man, let me rub it some more. God, it didn't work. Oh, woe was me. Like every day. And then the other day, I got something in my eye. I was at the, I think I was at the dog park, actually. and dogs are running by

and one splashed into the puddle because it'd been raining here like crazy and literally dog park pond water went a drop went right in my eye and I go like oh oh what could I do rubbing it doesn't help you and then I go and I'm like oh yeah eyedrops I need to flush this

huge bottle of huge bottle of eyedrops not even like contact solution like actual lubricating eye drops And it was great. Instantly, it felt better. I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, they do. They're wonderful. I also don't use them.

Dude, eyedrops feel so good. I have some, and I also forget they exist because I don't get that very. But there have been a couple times where I found the eyedrops. I was like, looking for something else. And I was just like, yeah, I could use a hit. And you just like do some eyedrops. Feels great. It really does.

Your eyes feel so fresh. It's ridiculous. All right. Back to it. Whose turn? Bob's turn. Yes. Ready?

Uh-huh. And go. Araknid superweb reveals the surprising constant party life of cohabitating spiders. There's this, what's come to be known as the world's largest spider web is currently housing tens of thousands of spiders in a cave along the Albanian and Greek border. Researchers published their findings recently of two different species of spider peacefully cohabitating in this giant, terrifying sounding colony, which is nestled in a pitch black cave and it's also a sulfur-rich environment. So probably is just great in there. That must be

really fun research. You lost me at spiders. I want nothing to do with a big story about spiders. Tens of thousands of spiders. Oh, wait, you were so close to getting in there. If only your commentary was just a little longer. I bet you wish you had... That was horrible. I would love to know more about this. Actually, I would love to know less about that. I don't want to know about any super web that's on the Greek and whatever border.

I'm definitely not going to go caving, and I'm definitely not going to go caving in that area. It's a very oddly specific place to go caving. I'm stealing... This is fantastic. I'm stealing a turn here, but it'll still apply whoever is talking and we'll ask, gets a point here. There's a VR game that I want to play

and also don't want to play. That is a caving simulator. I'm talking full on in the butthole, the earth like this. I'm not terribly claustrophobic, but just watching clips of that game makes me a little claustrophobic. I couldn't do it.

I could not do it. You got to get like a mixed reality setup for that, though. You got to build like a pillow fort. So when you do try and like lift your head, there's like stuff and you're like, ah, gah. I know, right?

No, I disagree. Don't do it. What's cool is the cave levels is the levels where people died in. The levels, the caves, the caves where people died. Oh, sick. Wow. Are there ghosts in there so you can see if you're beating the losers who died? Oh, man, if I was a game developer, that'd be so... Phasmophobia in the Nutty Puddy Cave.

Oh, can you imagine? I got an EMF5 and I'm stuck. Yay. It was me. Oh, well. And Bob got it. Unbelievable Yeah, I'm good at this game

He's really good Fasmo Cave All right, good job All right, Wade It's finally your turn This is your time to shine or something All right Breaking news Bob and Wade

Both you same website To find stories to share With Mark During this episode Because I've seen the same Headlines he's looking at Don't break the illusion Oh shhosh

Don't break the illusion Oh, we are so uncreative in our searching that we both found an episode. They're like, ooh, this one sounds like it'll have what we're looking for. And it's so far, it has. Is that your topic? Yeah, that was it.

I just wanted to share that I saw, I unfortunately came across your spiders. I will get away from that way. You can have that website. That's all you, buddy. Oh, we pretty thoroughly drained it. You could milk some more out of there. Yeah, I hope you can milk some more because it's timeers got a lot of time left on it. Uh-oh.

Well, man, we've talked about such great things. Blah, blah, blah, blah, ble, blue, blue. you don't remember what we talked about or? Well, no, I remember what we've talked about so far today. I saw, I see the Elvis judge. Uh-huh. He doesn't look like Elvis in the photo they chose, I got to say. It looks more like Bill

Nye and Bill Gates had a baby. It would be a nerdy-ass baby. And also scientifically fascinating. And Bob's got it! I spoke for 90% of that you do. You really just kind of feel the timer and get yourself in there, you know? All I remember from that is Bill Nye baby.

That's the important part. All right, okay. All right. This is going just about as good as the last time. And I actually realized on the suburb that someone made a full transcript of that episode. I'm not sure why. Oh, dang.

We have transcripts? No, this one does, though. Oh, okay. Man, I said Bob got it a lot. Well, it's been true. It's the nature of how I talk. I really just sneak him in there. Oh, man.

All right. Okay. Well, Bob, time for... for you to meet your comeuppance. We've got time for just a few more. Ready? Yes. Up.

Go. The organizer of the Miss Universe pageant has told Sky News that he cannot stand down from his position, despite allegations that he called Miss Mexico a dumbhead. I was expecting something incredibly like racist or a dumb head. Apparently, the contestants are obligated or, and or, expected to post promotional content about the country that's hosting the pageant, and it was in Thailand. So they were all supposed to post on their, like, social media is about something about Thailand. I'm sure they gave them, you know, pictures or had them go on a trip or whatever.

She was supposed to post something, which she did not do for whatever reason. And apparently in front of all of the contestants or a large group of them, he was, this guy was standing at the front with a microphone. And she claims he called her a dumbhead. And he, uh, refutes this, although there was some argument, and he was chastising her for not doing what she's supposed to do. And then he called security, and then she walked out of the room. He? He called security. Security, I called her a dumbhead. Remove me immediately. They had a verbal altercation where he may or may not have called her a dumbhead. She said, you are not respecting me as a woman. And then he called for security, and she left.

and a bunch of other contestants went with her as a show of solidarity because what the fuck what the fuck this is not a room full of six year olds by the way these are all adult people and Bob's got it man wait you really gotta talk more

I'm trying you don't give me a little you know I'm so interested in what you have to say you don't leave any room it's a great strategy I've run out of space Bob you know I think the score is gonna be real tight on this one just use some of my space for Bob's Just don't delete Tom from my MySpace friends list.

All right, Wade, it's your time to shine. All right. And by that, I mean, I'm setting the timer to one minute now. So, wait, one second to one minute. Oh, so I know exactly how long I have. No, no. I don't know who this is. But Dave Ramsey, he's a person, and he said,

owning 15 to 20 houses isn't greedy because God owns it, and he's just managing it for God. And if you're calling him greedy, what you're actually doing is calling God greedy. I declare God is greedy. Think that Dave Ram. If you don't know who Dave Ramsey is, you don't know the rage bait that is Dave Ram.

He's this guy, he's this older guy and he has a show where they do like financial advice. But all this financial advice is always like, all right, so you own three homes. But if you want to have a sustainable income, you really want to own seven or more homes. And you should probably

raise your rent for your renters by like 20 to 30% 50 if they can afford it. Anyway, Dave Ramsey is miserable and his show is only rage bait. And I see it on my like TikTok and when I scroll sometimes. Mm-hmm. All right, Bob's good. Wait, you really got to talk, man.

Yeah, I see that. You don't have anything to contribute to these? That was your topic. How do I make this more fair for you? What if I send you when I hit the button? I'll DM you how much time there'll be on that. You have three seconds. Don't.

Damn it. Look, you'll have to keep track of how many it is at that time. You know what? This losing isn't my losing. This is God's losing. So he's not going to allow this to happen. If Wade loses, he's making God a loser. The wheel will vindicate me in the end.

All right. Okay. All right. Well, Bob, it's your topic and we're just going to go back and forth It's the last one. No, we'll go. We'll go. We'll go. I want Wade to have some opportunity to claw back from the depths of hell that he's found himself in.

Let me in, coach. I'm a fourth quarter player anyway. All right, Bob, go. Children look on in horror and shock as Chuck E. Cheese is arrested for credit card theft. Apparently a gentleman who in Tallahassee, Florida, because fucking, of course, it was in Florida. who was wearing the Chucky Cheese mascot outfit in the Chucky Cheese

like going around and be like Oh hey kids Chuckie Trees And there's body cam footage of two cops Arresting him And it's for credit card fraud Wait I DM'd you the time I was gonna cut him off

He was still telling the story Whatever you're gonna cut off I think that's the idea Yeah is that you're supposed to jump in And if I want to to win. We just need to play a lot of games where you have to be kind of rude to win. Oh, I had that part covered. I couldn't see the T.F. It was covered by my article. Okay, we're reorganizing. I see it now. Why is steam up? You open Steam at the beginning of this

episode. That's a long time ago now. I keep doing it, I think. I don't know what I'm doing. You instinctively just want to play a game to get away from this. I sure do. Let me play something I can win. Blueprints for an hour. talking about? I've got this. There's no way I don't get this point. You've got this. I'm going to, I'll send you the time that it starts at. You're so good. Ready? Yes. All right. And go. In Japan, what do you think the most common animal to fear would be? Oh, I'll tell you. The answer? Bears. Bear attack shelters are going on sale in Japan as the country experiences record high number of incidents. Bears in Japan going crazy.

Jason Bob, don't even try to say anything. I've got this point. I don't know if we gonged or not, but I'm going to tell you about bears. They're mammals. They got claws. Don't you step in. I'm telling you about, this is my point. Almost, I almost

snuck it in there. I could tell you were trying not, you were trying to keep it going and I was like, ah, if I start talking, he'll stop. Man, I have to ask the editors to do that photo finish. Look at the waveform. It won't really, we'll apply the point to the next episode, but to me, it sounded like Bob talked, those two words at the exact moment the gong went off.

That was just from my perspective. I swear he somehow fucking timed it, but I'll leave that one right now to Wade for the effort, but editors let us know, because that will, that'll give Bob a point if he nailed that. timing is that is that cool to everybody i appreciate that that's pretty that's pretty balanced what was that point for what was the topic i've forgotten no bears bear attacks in japan i don't know there were such a thing as bear attack shelters but i can't talk about them anymore the topic's over yeah there isn't such a thing as far as we're concerned all right last round bob it's your topic are you ready i'm ready wait do you want me to send you the time for this one no no i can i can feel it all right Here we go.

Three, two. Scientists at King's College London have discovered that... And Bob's got it! I was just about to cut in! You were looking so eager, too. I know, I was like... Did he not tell you it was like four seconds? I would not have had time to type it to him.

It was two seconds. I also told him not to. I got this. I don't need... I don't need cheats on. Well, that one was a really uninteresting topic, so we didn't miss out of anything. No worry about it. All right.

I'm going to start with Wade's points for no reason. Yeah. You got points for Frozen 3. I'm melting. Very funny, man. That was great. You are the watcher. You went first.

Sold to game. Jamar Chase spitting on that other player. Yeah, I don't like that one. At this point, the rules changed. You called it a subreddit, which. was funny. Uh, Ved, just, no, that's not your point. Veg still went to Bob.

Never mind. Uh, 911 eagle, bald eagle went to Bob. Dave Ramsey. We're doing my points, though, right? Yeah, he's trying to find points for you. Don't worry about it. Uh, yeah. Um, you have a conditional bear point.

Okay. Eight. That's good. Okay. Does Bob have at least? You probably killed me in the small talk. Yeah. Oh.

No, but yeah. Bob, we represent the listeners guild. plague host Crematory Murder question mark Domi Bobby Cheetos Twitch Elvis Judge

Vegasil from Wade Oh wait No wait you got the Hena tattoo that went to you Oh yeah Yeah yeah And then the Super Web I forgot you got

You got some You did some in there Yeah I have arrows going to you at least So I'm assuming that's correct Don't call it a comeback Back by baby Bill Nye baby Bill Nye baby

Bill Nye baby Miss Universe and then Scientist 13 points. So, that's not as far apart as I thought they would be. It's 13 to 10. Technically, within range of at least a tie. All right, I just need to spin a three and have three victories. Oh! Sorry, hit my heel. That hurt. What's the shit? I kicked my chair with my heel and it really hurt my foot. Okay, maybe sit still for a second. Just relax.

Okay. How many points will it be? Of course it will be three Okay Oh How about for the wheel If it's a sequel To an episode

Add percentage to the tie wheel Ooh Whatever the other thing Is here There's a certain one that puts Percentage, we'll do the same percentage That one does It's 10%

All right, I gotta find some minuses to the wheel If episode is a sequel We'll add 10% to tie wheel. If episode is the sequel, subtract 10% to tie wheel. All right, three spins it is, shall we? You know it. Happiest contributions? Happiest.

All right. Let me look back at here. I feel like my list is not the happiest sounding. I know Wade has a couple, but... Is it list of points or list of topics brought up? This is happiness. I'm trying to see which one's happiest by least happy, by counting up the not happiest.

Yeah, but by points or by who brought up? Which topic? Who brought up which topic? So you have the 9-1-1 or the bald eagle dropping a cat. That's not very happy. No, that's not very happy. Jamar Chase wasn't very happy. Jamar Chase spitting and then there's a bear attack.

So that's three unhappies to Bob's four unhappies. Wade, you had the happiest contribution. Congratulations. You did it. All right, two more to go. Hang on to your seat, baby, because this one's a screamer. Right, Matthew Lillard? Um, most perceptive, who added that to the wheel?

I don't know that I can argue me for that, because I lost so many things. I didn't even see where Mark texted be the cheating answer. That is a pretty bad fail on the, you know? That's pretty bad, yeah. I think that Bob having the incredible timing. Yeah, that's got to go to Bob. All right, two points for Wade coming up. Is it on the, is it on here?

It's not impossible for you to win. This wheel is very rigged. Come on Hit Hardest thinker Artist thinker Well Wade you were doing a lot of thinking and not talking So I guess I got to give you that one

Yeah I definitely was not thinking I was just going going going and winning winning Oh man I was being so thoughtful Unfortunately Wade you only got two out of the three wheel spins It really was all about giving you that opportunity But it was snatched from the jaws of victory Anyway, congratulations, Bob. 14 points to Wade's 12.

You did it. I'm the greatest. I'm actually amazed how close that was because it really didn't feel close. It didn't feel very close at all. You know, guys, I would feel offended, but you're right, it did not. I did not feel like I should be in that. It felt like I was really running away at full speed with that one for a lot of it. All right, uh, winter speech, Bob.

You know, sometimes it's just meant to be. Sometimes the game plays directly into your strengths. I don't know why my strength is having a sense of when a timer's going to go off across the entire country from where I'm currently sitting. But apparently, if there's a way to monetize that, I should really figure it out because I got the touch. We're superhero power sensing someone's alarm clock. I'm a feeler. I got the feel. I feel it.

I have the feel about setting the microwave and then coming back when it's ready. Or I did before my piece of shit microwave that doesn't fucking. work, adds random time to my... It adds time? It adds random time. What the hell kind of thing? Why would it do that? Go, because it's all a touchscreen.

There's no physical buttons. So it just goes off whenever it feels like. When a little steam comes out of the vent at the top, it goes right over the touch controls, and it can actually press buttons. That's so stupid. It's so stupid. Look, you can't expect a company like Wolf to make good kitchen appliance. Oof. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Well, true. Actually, I live this. Yeah, I mean, if you have one, I think you're allowed to say that you think it sucks. Oh, it's the biggest piece of shit. It is the war wolf. I don't know if you've ever tried to make a microwave before. This wasn't it. So, how much do you take this microwave and you go and show it up your ass? All right. Wade, Loser's Beach. This was a not very hard-fought battle that I was in by pure coincidence. Frozen, though, if you guys need some ideas for titles, call me, I got you.

Yeah, I turned my literacy speech into a ploy for another job. All right, well, that, I hope that works out for you, man. Oh, people call me all the time for stuff, because I'm good. Of course, you do. Sure, I believe that. And then we're going to have a surprise point in a future episode, probably the next one. Well, not the next one, because Bob's going to be hosting as a winner. But the next one that he's a participant in, he might get a conditional point if he actually.

got the photo finish, which I'd be very curious of what that was. Thank you everybody so much for watching and listening. Hope you had a wonderful day and hope you are going to have a wonderful time after this. Sorry your, uh, this podcast only lasts a little bit through your workday. The rest of it will obviously be spent in silence because there's no other podcasts. They can rewatch or listen to old episodes. Be sure to follow the podcast. So you always know when we release another episode, even though we do it at a very

strict schedule. You never know. Follow these guys. My skirm, Lord Minion 777, or Minion 777. I'm Markiplak. Thank you. Podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.