Distractible - Bad Mood

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Watch Video Now: https://spotify.link/distractible Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G home internet. The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet according to the experts at Ucla Speed Test. If you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-dashmobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ucla speed test. Intelligence data second half,

25. All rights reserved. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to distractible. This episode. Blasting Bob Snubs Marvel shows his ballistic brilliance, then begs to be therapist. Wicked Wade the Blower becomes pennywise, gets funny fuzzies, throws tantrums, and rationalizes rage. New McMark predicts snow in paradise. Plans a spring clean, threatens interviewees.

people unpleases and gets grumpy. From goblin mode to corporate stall meetings. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's time for bad mood. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to another episode of Distractable. That's right, I'm your host, the guy who's in this room today. No, it's not Mark. It's me. I'm in weird places. My name's Bob. I'm hosting because I won the last one despite all that stuff I said in it. And I'm joined today, as always, by my two competitors slash co-host, Mark and Wade.

Hi, I'm going to say a bunch of stuff today. Who knows where it's going to take me? Probably right to the top. I'm going to say some stuff today, which will take me to the top too, right? Uh, almost guaranteed, probably. Anyway, if you've never been here before, I always host this episode while sitting in an unpowered Halo Fire Team Raven arcade cabinet. That's why I have this thing in my hands. Also, as the host, I will be giving the boys some sort of game or prompt or whatever. We'll talk about it and I'll give them points, which I'll write down on this book thing, which is not my usual one, but whatever.

And then there'll be a winner, and they host the next one. That's how it works. Could I introduce some bias early on into the episode? Okay. Okay. So think about it this way. Right? If I were to win, that would give me enough time.

Now that I have all this free time, and I'm probably going to blast through all the dungeon crawler carobbooks in the next day or two. So I'll be so desperate for time. I'll be able to spend time to make the perfectest crime episode ready. For the next recording session, bang, boom. It'll be the greatest episode of distractible. You could be on the precipice. This obviously won't be the greatest episode of distractible ever.

Obviously. Obviously. But if you Fabricate a reality where I win Despite all my shortcomings Don't make a joke about that You got tall comings, not shortcomings Sound clip that forever

Clip that, send me the wave file I'm going to use that in everything I'm just send it to game developers You're gonna, wait, you're gonna be playing a game And you're just gonna hear your own voices A goblin comes up You're putting me in a game? I didn't know you're making one Yay

No no I'm gonna send it to game developers I'm not gonna do that I wouldn't even recognize me, thankfully. Bob, if you make me win. All this can be not yours, but, you know, mine. I'm one poor choice away from just declaring that Mark wins right now and ending all of our sufferings. That would be a record for shortest episode ever. I mean, where would the fun be in that?

And you might have a lie point on the books already for teasing us with the perfectest crime. Oh, because it's a lie. Anyway, how's it going? You guys got any small talk? And Wade, you want to introduce your own bias? You got any selling points? Hey, I'm Wade, and as you heard, I'm Wicked Witch of the Bald,

so I'm here to entertain, scare, and fly around on my snow blower. Because that's what we have in Cincinnati, snow shovels and blowers. But it's warm. The snow is melting, and whenever it gets to be warm outside, I'm going to go on my first outside walk of the year.

Inside walks, not as fun. Outside walks, much more fun. Dude, outside walks. Damn, that's crazy. I gotta tell you, it is so warm, it is so beautiful here in glorious Los Angeles. The rains that were coming through here. It just rained again yesterday. Rain?

Rain, yeah, rain. I forgot snow could be melted when it falls. Sorry, go ahead. Not only that. There is apparently an approaching cold snap that will bring snow to L.A. next week. Take it. Take it. It's probably only going to be up in higher elevations here in LA, but from what I hear, it's going to dip down to the 40s and then the 30s here.

And it's going to be during a moisture event, so it's going to be likely, I mean, they're already predicting on the mountaintops. It's going to be full blanket snow coverage, like two feet of snow up on the top. But there's a chance. We'll catch some flakes drifting our way, you know, just. And that would be, that would be astonishing. Amy is actually thinking of actually by the time this episode's coming out, this has already passed. So we'll know if we're buried and died in a blizzard. But Amy's thinking of canceling a trip that she had because she's never seen snow here.

It's like if she leaves and doesn't catch it, who knows when it would ever happen again. But then I said, I mean, obviously it'll happen again next year because this shit ain't going to get better. So, you know. And isn't that just a fun, lighthearted joke we all love to laugh about? Anyway, I'm getting a new microphone as well. What kind of thing? So I'm trying out a different microphone because they discontinued, I mean, Blue just got bought by Logitech, and so they discontinued a lot of the other models.

And I never really liked this microphone that much anyway. So I'm trying out a warm audio, something, something, something, 8,000. That's a big number. Oh, that is a big number. All 7,99 of the other models must be jealous. I remember when Tony Stark got in the newest Iron Man. suit and said, I hear you $8,000. It was my favorite moment.

Laugh. I don't know enough things about Marvel to understand that joke. Sorry. It was aimed at a very specific member of the audience. Just one. You got it, right? Tim. Hey, just because nobody likes your weird niche superhero movies doesn't mean it's a bad

joke, buddy. I'm sure somebody got that. Anyway, in the relevancy of the now, you know, not then. I also realized that a lot of my peripherals in my computer setup are really jank and old, and I have spent a long time accumulating a lot of crap. Like my Xbox controller doesn't even have a cover on it anymore, and I don't know why I put batteries on it because I don't have a wireless dangle for it. Like, I don't know.

Given that I have spent so much time and effort building up all this computer crap for all these render farms, I think I'm finally going to do an overhaul of my entire computer recording setup. Give it some love. I'm going to clean up this stuff. I'm going to do a whole whole polishing of everything. There's a bullet. Is it covered in goop?

Is it goopy or post-goopy? I don't know if you can show those on podcasts. Yeah, they definitely know of gun podcasts where there's like walls of guns behind them and there's just like guns on the table. Not that I'm aware of. I've never been able to see ourselves full frames. Whatever you just held up was completely not in sight for me. It was a big bullet, huge bullet.

I believe it. It was like a 0.0.1. one. It's a 5-7-6-7, 6-7? He said the thing? Is it possible for the bullets to just go off and... I mean, spontaneous combustion is a thing, so I'm sure it's a spontaneous shoot is a thing. I'm sure it's not impossible, but I feel like I'd be surprised if that happened with something like that. I don't know. Like if it fell and it hit something just right, that hit the firing pin, would the bullet go off? It wouldn't be able to go with as much speed, because it just would kind of like a...

No, it doesn't have a barrel, right? It would only be propelled with whatever the casing could hold, but the casing would probably explode. It would probably not be good. Yeah, not great, yeah. It's like this little Halloween or Halloween, those are the Fourth of July fire poppers. You throw it the ground just like, peep, peep.

Just like that, I bet. I'll throw it real hard to the ground. I'll tell you what happens. But with metal fragments flying everywhere, which is probably good. Yeah, probably. Anyway, it fell off the desk the other day, And I had that thought as it was going towards the ground.

So I'm fine. That's fine. I'm sure it's fine. It wouldn't do that. With these huge bullets, I got next to me, these gigantic, very manly, very red meat-eating bullets, you know, around me. I wouldn't know anything about having weapons in my area. I see two blurs. I see one slightly blue blur, and then I see some shiny off of it, and then I see a...

They're very cool arcade weapons. Don't you worry about it. The only weapon I need is luck. Don't have it. I got this day. No one laughed. No one laugh at that. No one.

Tim? Tim? He feeds off your laughings. I do. I'm like penny-wise, except for instead of fear, I need laughter. That actually reminds me, wait. I had a funny scenario. So I was working on cloak stuff, and we were interviewing someone for a new position.

And on my desk, where I was interviewing, um, Jason had found a knife. Just in storage like we were going through storage and there was just so happened to be a knife there Wasn't mine, but he was like this must be yours. So he's like he set it on my desk as I'm getting this guy that's being interviewed in Coming in and on the desk is a big fucking knife like it's like a with a with a letter on it that says hey found this knife and I sharpened it for you Jason I this isn't an intimidation thing It's just, it's, I don't know where this came from. I, I've never seen this before.

So let's talk salary. Anyway, it was very understanding, so it all worked out. No one, no one was threatened or scared or anything. That's exactly what someone who was very threatened and scared would say. Yes, Mr. Marketplier. I'm not scared, Mr. Markiplier. How do you know that guy? I've met every Jason in the planet.

No, Jason wasn't who I was interviewing. The guy interviewed didn't. I met every interview. in the planet. Oh, I just want to sell some shirts. Oh, ha-ha.

I love your designs. Mr. Markiplier. Your voice sounds so familiar. Oh, well. You're hired. Now you're fired. Here's your severance pay. Oh, that's good.

That's better than joke I was going to made. I mean, that was good because you both laughed so hard at it. It wasn't funny. It was just legit. You know, there's an epic rap battle with George Carlin versus, uh, Richard Pryor, and one of the things is like, when I tell jokes, people laugh, when you tell jokes, people go, hmm, that's funny. I feel like I'm the guy, people go, hmm, that's funny. The compliments of like not laughing but being told, man, funny.

Really the same. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside, people tell me funny. I do that. I feel like I do that a lot, and I apologize, because I do go, no, that's funny. I do that a lot. I get that a lot here, yeah, I don't know. You do that to me, too. Wait a minute.

Oh, no, but to you. No, it's really funny when it's you. Wait, hold on. What are you really funny? Look, you're both really funny. Trust me. Oh, okay, thanks. Oh, no, I fell for it again.

I got a low sense motive against his charisma roles. Yep, everything else. All my other stats way low, but my charisma. I can't wait to hear your new microphone, Mark. I'm sure I'll notice. I mean, I doubt that it's going to sound any better, but I think from a functionality standpoint, it'll just be a little nicer.

That's all I'm really hoping for. Because this one, it has like this weird swivel head on the top part of it, but there's no real point to that. And I feel like all and all the ergonomics of this thing are just like, I don't like the way I have. It's not very elegant and it bothers me. Not this microphone, but my mic at my home desk setup is, it sounds good. It's good mic, but it's really tall.

And then it has like a big ball thing on top. And like, it's just real awkward. I get that it's aesthetic. It looks cool, but I don't care. I don't want it on camera. I'd like if it was much more compact and ergonomically designed. I'm using a Newman. It's a Newman.

It's a Newman. How would you had that so, bitch, forever? No, I had like the 105 or the 106. I got this one a couple years ago. It looks, I mean, it's very similar, but it's one of the newer ones. Look, I'm not even going to correct you because I think it's funny if you call it. It's going to piss a lot of audio. Heads off if you keep calling to Newman.

So please do. Oh, I'm sorry. It's a new man. That's good. Keep going on to that, man. What's it supposed to be? I'm not. It's Neumann, but whatever.

It don't matter. It's N-E-U. How is that noi? It's like German or something. I don't know. That's why it says Berlin. I just thought it was my microphone's last name this whole time. Newman, Berlin.

My microphone. It's Neumann. My new mic is going to be. Warm audio, Y-thousand. Is that how audio heads say that one? Yep, I'm pretty sure. Noyman. Was that the bad guy?

Not the bad guy. Dennis Nedry. What's the actor's name? That was the bad guy on Seinfeld, yeah. Neumann? Seinfeld heads are going to get really mad if we say. Sorry, Steinfeld. That's it.

Wade, did you do small talk? Probably, yeah, about going outside and so on. It was as very, it was as good as my jokes, man. It was funny. That was really good small talk. What if I point this of you? That was really good small talk. I'm the pillars on which this foundation is set.

And then you guys are the stars that stand on top of it. That's nice. That's really sacrificial of you. Just power wash me occasionally. Then reseal. That's just another step I don't want to take. Explains the cracks in the bald. This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G home internet.

You already know the T-Mobile 5G home internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month, but here's something new worth noting. Team Mobile now is the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ucla Speed Test. No, seriously. Their 5G home internet speeds are officially the fastest, which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know. And yeah, it is still a great value. Back by a five-year price guarantee,

so your bill doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention. So if you want the fastest 5G home internet, for the simple setup and savings that actually stick, head over to t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability today. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on ooplaspeed test intelligence data, second half 2025, all rights reserved. Uh, anyway, do you guys want to talk about today's topic? Ugh. I think we've really been said and wait up for this one, I want to talk about what happens when you get in a bad mood. You're allowed to not be in a bad mood way, but we would really pile in it on. So I pretty well understand if you were in a bad mood. But I, this is stolen from an episode of Bluey where bingo is in a bad mood and

it's pretty funny. There's some shenanigans. But also recently, I've been really bitchy and I have really bad tendencies when I'm in a bad mood. Not in like a, oh, I take it out on everyone else in a way, just in like a, I'm real insufferable. I don't know how much you guys have experienced me being in a really bad mood around you. Because usually if we're, if we're hanging out or doing something, we usually having fun because that's kind of what we do. But I, I'm miserable when I'm in a bad mood. I like, because like, Mandy, if I'm grumpy, Mandy's like, I want to cheer you up.

Let me do something nice for you. I'll get you your favorite food. Only makes it worse. I don't know why. I literally, if someone does it. If I'm in a bad mood and someone does something nice for me, I'm like, fuck off. I don't deserve nice stuff right now. I hate that you did that.

And it's like, man, that's really rude. I'm really not a good way to behave. But it's how I am. I'm awful when I'm in a bad mood. I guess that is kind of taking it out of other people. But I literally, I would just go lock myself in a room and be like, everyone stay away. I'm in a bad mood.

But then people intrude on that because I don't live in a vacuum. I live with family and stuff, but like, anyway, I've been having some bad moods lately. I felt kind of bad about that. And I was curious, maybe you guys can teach me how to deal with my bad moods better, or if you have any funny stories, or if you have a similar or your own unique version of how you behave when you're in a bad mood. I just want to talk about it. I'm working some stuff out here, guys.

Help me. Theripize me. Therapies you? Theripy him in the face? Hit me with the therips. I'm going to hit you with the theranin. I don't know what that is, but it sounds entertaining. Is that next to neon on the periodic table?

Theronon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah. Yeah, Theramin is the little electromagnetic device. Theranah Theranon was the company that that person was made the lady on the Forbes. It's German. Theranoin. They're annoying. Probably.

She went to jail. Yo, the lady who just straight up lied. Theranos. Allegedly? No, it was pretty much conclusively. proven in the porch and she went to jail. We're not making those claims. You can look it up.

She did not succeed in her defense in court. But yeah, no, that was, man, if that machine did exist, you really do a lot of good stuff. I actually know what you guys are referencing for what? What happened to my voice there? What was that? Who? I don't know. I just got excited.

I told know what happened. Well, actually, know, you guys are referencing for once. His true voice came out, man. Oh, man, I can't believe it. That was not the voice that came through. I'm very scared right now. I'm very scared. I'm fine.

I'm perfectly fine. Just like Bob's magic trick that scared me legitimately. I actually, I'm not going to lie. Bob, when you disappear in that closet, I actually went, where'd you go? I'm not joking. I fully had a second there. I know. I have that effect on people.

I'm quite the magician. We here, Distractable, incorporated our toddlers. What was the question? I don't even remember what we're doing here. What are we doing? Wade knew about Theranos after we talked about it for a solid 90 seconds. He was finally like, I know what you guys are talking about ever once. I didn't know the name, but I knew the subject matter.

So once it was explained, it was like, oh, I have heard that story about the lady who was, yeah, selling the whatever, Theranos. I felt like one of the part of the group for once. You know, I was on the end. I knew you're literally already in. Imagine how we must feel knowing so many more things, so much. more of the time. It's like a constant high, man. I don't live that life, but I was here once. I peaked. I was I'm sickerous. I flew too close to the no. Now I'm falling back down. I got bad mood stuff, I suppose. Mark, you got bad mood stuff? Yeah, I've been in bad moods every

once in a while. What do you do? How does it go? Do you take it out on everyone around you? Like I apparently didn't realize until now that I do? You only took until now to realize it? I always thought I didn't, but the thing was I used, when I used to be in a bad mood, I used to also be single and alone. And so I couldn't take it out on anyone anyway, so it didn't matter. But now I realize I actually am pretty mean sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, but not in like a I seek you out and take it out on you sort of way, but in like a, if you come too close to me, I'll be a real bitch about it. And that's also kind of, it's pretty unfair.

It's not very nice. For some of those, imagine single you going to like a bar and like, ask, like, hey, you want to go out? Yeah, and then you're like, well, I don't. And then walking back out again because you're in a bad mood. Yeah, I did that a lot. You got me. Yeah, yeah.

I remember we were all out eating dinner and he would just like shoot himself down after he gets the yes, which is the craziest moment to do it. No one wants to go out with me. I said yes. Well, you lied. Actually, unironically, some in cells. You're probably trying. You're probably ready. Oh, man, that guy found Mandy. I would absolutely be that person. Who gets to go first? I'm going to flip this pen. And if I catch the tip, that's Mark. And if I catch the clip, that's Wade. That's a really good way to do it I caught the clip Wade you go first Bad mood me

Alright So I have just I remember being in a really bad mood At my computer And I have this like wrist rest rest Right that I rest my wrist on That's the whole point wrist rest rest

And I don't remember what I was in Such a bad mood about Whether it was family or something But I was just genuinely pissed off Not even just like Mrrh I was actually like pissed off And I just like

Through a baby tantra Where I like slam my fists around and I hit my desk and knocked the wrist rest off, which was slightly askewed to the left. Well, I had food on my desk and the wrist rest of course had to hit the thing of like hit my drink into my food, which then knocked all of that off on me. So then I threw the tantrum and covered myself in like, I don't remember pizza or whatever the hell it was. And then I was in like an even worse mood kind of, but also it kind of reality checked me where I was like, huh, me acting like baby makes mess like baby

now I've got to clean up this mess that I made because I was being a big bitch for no reason I deserve this This doesn't have to be a theme of the episode You are allowed to be in a bad mood And I feel like like slamming your desk And making a mess is kind of like From our perspective in the

Now that you're not in a bad mood seem silly I feel like of all the things a person could do That's not that's pretty good Like if you go punch a pillow Or you go you go you go scream into a pillow Or you slam your debt As long as you're not hurting yourself or like breaking

your own stuff. Sounds like you just kind of made a mess. That's not that bad. It may feel silly that you did that. You're like, I got to clean this up now. But you didn't like scream at someone or like dude, like, you know, that's fine. That seems okay. Sometimes you're in a bad moon.

I just yelled like, fuck and slammed my fucking fist down and then made a huge mess and then felt like I'm still in a bad mood, but it's like I was no longer in a ragey self-destructive mood. It was just like a, well now I'm an asshole. I see that I have an asshole I have a mess to clean up

and I'm still in a bad mood What did that accomplish? Didn't help my mood but I guess it did help my mood but it didn't help my mood That sounds like it helped a little I can't really imagine you doing that with sincerity

I could imagine you being like for the bit Just be like Doing something crazy And make it a big mess I don't get actually mad very often Like I get upset or like annoyed Actually mad is very rare for me

That was an actually mad moment That sounds like a decently healthy way trying to work it out. Sounds sarcastic when I'm really trying to be sincere. It sounded a little sarcastic. I'm not going to lie. Look, I have the same problem with James. James, the first time he went poop on the potty, he was like, I did it.

And I was like, you did. Wow, you went poop on the party. And I was like, no, wait, how do I always be sincere? I'm really proud of you. I love you. I love you so much. Good job. Yeah, no, I do that real bad.

But that sounds pretty good. That sounds. Oh, okay. If you went higher pitch, now, I believe you. I've been known to be in bad moods on occasion. I'm always fascinated by the fact that something flips in your head and it feels good to do shitty things when you're in a bad mood. I don't know why, but, you know, it's like, you have these words that you want to say,

usually, and you're like, I'd be a shitty thing to say. I don't want to say it. But when you're in a bad mood, it's like, I'm going to say, oh. It sounds like I'm trying to say a slur or something. This is not going to work. I don't know what I'm going for Meanwhile he's actually like You're a poo-po-po head

I've been in numerous bad moods I'd say the most recent streaks With even sometimes on this podcast Where I would come on And we'd cut it out But I just get so frustrated From all the stress and the pressure And it would bubble out

And I'd blow up for one reason or another And I would just have to go And it's always like Blow up And then it's like I go out And I talk to Amy And then I feel better That's like been the only thing that's made me feel better is like I go over and I'm like

And Amy's like you're being a dick and I'm like I'm being a dick I'm instantly it's oh I mean you're right She just has the needle for your balloon It's not like you know we've had fights on occasion and you we've been mad at each other But for the most part if she says something like that it's just like And I'll come back and even if I I blow up you guys to come back and go Right. Sometimes I come back I'm sorry, sometimes I come back, I'm like, I'm still

mad because Amy wasn't there or something but yeah, no. We're gonna get Amy cardboard cutouts for our office just like, all right, we've got to pass the fine mark. Hey, you're being a day. And you're right here. It's like the, on Nuneis-sa, what I made, SCP, Amy, you know, the

the, what was it? The light stand with a lab jacket. With that fucking walkie-talkie that just made the crazy-ass noises. That was such a fun one. I love that walkie-tugue. That's the most reason bad moods. I've got plenty more.

Bob, have you ever blown up with us? I'm a, I'm a, I'm a shover downer. I've definitely been in sessions where I was in a bad mood. I think I could say it's never been related to you guys or because of you guys, but I've come in in a bad mood because of other stuff. But the whole time I've just like, let's keep going. But I think if you, if someone who knows me watch carefully, they could tell because the whole time my comedy is a little bit more assaulting and a little, a little bit more like, like it comes. It's not like I'm here having a good time.

It's like I'm here to take it out through jokes against people or whatever. Yeah, we've done stuff enough over the years where I think we've all had moments, I'm sure. But thinking about this, there really is more like a very self-centered therapy episode, but I like this. This is good. Have you ever had a moment where you had some big realization about, like, how you were processing your bad mood or how you're processing emotions in general? Because I've always been a very, like, shove it down inside. And I do process things internally. It's not like I shove it down and never deal with it, but it takes a long time to do that.

And there are way more efficient ways to deal with stuff emotionally and like productive ways. Like if I'm being a dick to Mandy for reasons that are unrelated to her, it's both unfair to her. But also, she could totally help. Like it's very similar to what you said, Mark. Like I am an asshole. But often if Mandy is like, look, I'm trying to be nice to you, but you're being a piece of shit, I'm immediately like, oh, you're right. Oh, sorry. Lally deflates it very quickly.

but like have you guys ever had a like breakthroughs about I don't know about yourself or your personal you know journey with that sort of stuff processing emotions it's a little bit less to do with bad moods but like I learned how much of a people pleaser I am which I think relates to like whenever I am in a bad mood like you I internalize a lot like I'm like well I'm not going to go share this with everyone else and put it on their shoulders this is my problem and I've I've got to be the one to handle it like I can take it I can deal with it I've done it I've done with it my whole life. But like even at a young age when my parents split up, I remember being asked like, oh, do you want to go stay with your grandparents or here? Do you want to go to like your dads, your

moms? And you know, I was always asked where I wanted to go, which was a lot of pressure at like four years old because it's like four year old me was like, everyone seems to like spending time with me. They love having me. So I've got to like make two people sad to make one happy. And I would always try to even if I wanted to go somewhere in particular, I would try to be balanced and always pick a different person so that way everyone got to have the joy of me around my four-year-old ego um because you know as a four-year-old i july thought everyone was always so nice because i was a kid i was loved so people were nice to be even if they wanted like a break i never knew that as a kid they wanted a break so i was like well i picked them the last week and i got to pick someone else this

weekend then someone else next week and like i try to make that balance and so the people pleasing became just an integral part of who i am which you guys have seen at conventions where we're like let's go to dinner and i'm like hey can we bring 50 other people or whenever I'm like trying to balance out like doing co-labs or playing games of people it's like well I was really having fun playing this game but I'm not played with so-and-so in like two weeks so I better do this this week instead of continuing that thing I actually want to do and when it comes to like being in a bad mood it's very similar it's like everyone who needs the vent I will be there say

what you need to say get it off your chest then someone's like wait what do you what do you have anything you don't to get off your chest I'm like no I'm good on the inside I'm like yes please let me out it's like shut up you I'll deal with you by playing a video game later but I mean I'll talk to Molly and like with Amy you know Molly's there to to help me and she'll let me know if I'm being an asshole or so on and so forth. And I've gotten better about letting stuff out there. But there's still that people pleasing tendency in me where it's like, no, I've dealt

with a lot in life. I can continue to deal with a lot. This is relatively small compared to what I've dealt with in the past. It shouldn't even be that big of a deal. Why am I in a bad mood anyway? And I'll try to like rationalize out the bad mood, which doesn't really work. But I try. I try that aggressively.

And man, does that not work? You know what kind of, you know, what kind of asshole I am? I'm a people unpleaser. Nothing pisses me off more than a poorly timed text When I'm not even mad or busy In fact, most of the time when I'm not busy I'm not even like, oh, I just sat down If a text catches me at the wrong time

I'm intentionally not responding for a while Actually, it's not necessarily that But I just don't, I'm like, I'm not gonna No, I agree, texts are different I hate getting text I'm very insular sometimes when I get pissed off And I'm just like everybody just fuck off I'm not gonna talk to anybody I don't want to be bothered

And then instead of doing some productive efforts I sit and I don't want to talk to anybody Fuck everybody you know so I don't know It's the most impotent useless kind of grumpiness possible I did that sometimes when I was like in high school with my My high school girlfriend sometimes I would get mad because I'd be like But I want to be damn it you And then it'd be like finally she'd be like

I want to spend time with you. And I'm just like, oh, now you want it. Well, yeah, I'm not going to do it. I'm mad. It's just the stupidest thing. It's like the most asinine opposite day kind of unhelpful bullshit. And so, yeah, I've tried to push that out as much as I can. But when things you're really busy, I do get caught up in it, I'm just like, oh, I want to do anything.

I want to go drive in a circle. Where's 275? Let me drive around it. I have that in a weird way, too. Like if someone messaged me about playing something I'll be like annoyed and grumpy the entire time leading up to it And then I'll play or do whatever it is I'll legitimately have a good time and it's like

Man why was I so not looking forward to this? This was fun And then the next week I'll go through the same fucking cycle of Oh, like Ryan wants to play a game on Friday I'm like oh Ryan wants to play a fucking game on Friday I guess I'll put him on my schedule to stream with him on Friday Oh fucking asshole poking me And then we'll play off like one of the best times I've had all week I'm like oh what a good time

And then I'll hear like the next week like hey you want it Oh, fucking you want to do something, you son of a bitch? Again, we had such a good time last time. You whatever? I don't know what it is about me. Where I'm like, people want to play games. I'm like, I don't want to fucking play that game. I want to do it.

Go do this? And then I'll play. It's like, oh, that was so fun. I wish we could have kept going. Hey, you want to play next week? Oh, do I want to play? Fuck you. Do I want to play next week?

I got shit to do. It's the same thing with a shower, you know, sometimes. Or it's just like, I know, it feels good. It's not what I'm in there. I'm like, oh, my God. I got to take my clothes off and I got, oh, I got to step in there. Ew. I don't have 10 minutes to shower.

Having, having a kid has been such a bad excuse for me. Because there's like, in everyday life, if you're just on your own, like, ignore everything else, there's always a thing where you're like, well, I could shower now, but like I was going to work out later. Or like, there's always something, right? That's what it's like, that's not a great, like you could always think of something. With James, it's always like, well, I haven't shower. in a couple days, but James is probably going to wake up from his nap, and I'm going to have to change a poop or, I don't know, who knows, like babies do all kinds of stuff. I'm going to have

to roll around on the floor. Why would I ever shower? I'm just going to pig pen it up. He doesn't care. I don't care. I'll just wear these same sweats for, it's such a, I don't know that that's universal, but I feel like it's so hard with him added on to my regular baseline level of laziness and slothen slotheliness sloth slothiness slavinliness whatever it's like it's so easy to just look at anything and be like I could drink some water there's a glass of water in my hand that I got to drink but I'm just going to be dehydrated in like another couple hours why would I even like what is this a losing battle God you're so right I've had this water

I have this water bottle next to me and was like I don't want to drink that ice cold Water? Ew, I'm going to grab this ginger beer instead. Ew, I'm drinking and I'll drink it. Fine. I'll fucking drink you, fucking son of a bitch. I was not trying to peer pressure you. I do the exact same shit. It's, I don't have water. Is Diet Mountain Dew water? Can I drink my Diet Mountain Dew and feel good about my life? It's used to make it probably. Yeah, something in there's water. This is unrelated but related. It reminded me of a time where I was, I was at some kind of convenience store. I used to work at a convenience store to set this up. And of course, when people would come in, you have like the ding,

so you knew that a customer was arriving. I remember being in a store and I was in a bad mood. I think I was arguing with somebody. I don't remember if it was family or friend or whatever, but I was having like an argument. I was kind of in a bad mood. And I remember what ended up breaking it was somebody walked into the store and it had a very similar ding to the place I worked. And like in the middle of being like, yeah, I don't care if you fucking ding. Hi, how are you? Like just out of habit of working at the store. I turned to green. some random person while I was in the middle of this argument. And it completely shifted everything away,

made it really funny. But, uh, you need to get that, you need to get that sound saved on your phone or something. So you just be like, God, it's just a bad fucking bit ding. That was a really hard thing to break was if you ever heard a similar ding

or if I went into like UDFs around Cincinnati. If someone walked in, it was like, do not greet people, Wade, you're not wearing an apron, you don't look like you belong. You look like a fucking weirdo.

If you're just like, hi, how are you? Like, someone's walking in to buy their coffee. I, This is a very, uh, I am him energy of me, but I, I used to work at Jimmy Johns and we used to, it was the one on campus and it was open super late. And I must be the only human in existence who we would,

you know, we closed at like three if I remember right, which is really fucking late. But we would get a big rush because the bars would kick everyone out at two and then we get a bunch of people in. And then right up till close, it's like, it's three o'clock. We close the door and we're like, go the fuck home or go somewhere else, drunks, whatever. And everyone, and including,

I'm still surprised, I mean, I know what happens, but I'm still confused why people are so mad when you go to a store and it's like, ah,

we close in an hour and you walk in and you're like, yeah, I'd like a burrito or whatever, and they're like, burrito, this guy,

doesn't he know we close in an hour? It's like, yeah, I know you close in an hour. Doesn't that mean you're open? And I know that as a customer, I know that that's like a dick like it.

Like, Like, you're at work. I understand that sucks. And sometimes it's worse than other times. But when I was working, if someone walked into my Jimmy Johns at 255 in the morning, all my coworkers would be like, this fucking God, God damn. I'd be like, just make him a fucking sandwich. Like, it takes us five minutes.

By the time we're done making this drunk sandwich, we can close the doors. And it's no different than if they didn't come in. But we didn't have to stand. they're doing nothing staring at the clock for five minutes. But like, I feel like it's very natural to get mad get that you're like, I just want to go home. Just go away. But if you're open, especially, I think one time I went into a place, it was like, it was really late dinner.

It was like 7.30 at night. And I was like, I need something. I went in. And the place closed at like nine. So they weren't like about to close. They had like a solid hour and a half still. And I walked in and I got that same shit where I walked in and they were like, oh, hey, sir, what, uh, sorry, we're kind of, the lines kind of closed down. What can we get for you? I'm like,

you guys are not even romoli closed. Like, you're, you are jumping the gun on this one. I get that you don't like your job or it's been a rough day, but like, please make me a sandwich. I'm really, I'll pay you. I'll pay you full price. Just give me the sandwich. I'm sure, I'm sure, I don't know, I mean, do you guys feel that? I ever work till close somewhere and it was like, I want to say something that's going to sound extremely derogatory. All right. So, With the sandwich shop, I imagine it's different with like a sit-down restaurant because like sometimes people do come in late But with the sandwich shop, I think it's that case of where the monkeys in the ladder and the banana and the water You know this?

I don't know what the hell you're talking about Was that something I'm supposed to know? Okay, so there's a science experiment right? There's a cage full of monkeys or something and monk not or something it was monkeys for sure who was absolutely All right, all right, we locked in monkeys. Okay monkeys or children something there's there's 10 or so monkeys in there, right? And they put a ladder and there's a banana on a rope up top. Eventually, you know, one of the monkeys like, hey, climbs a ladder.

As soon as he climbs the ladder, they spray cold water into the cage, right? They take one monkey out, they put a new monkey in who has not been sprayed. He's like, banana goes up there, gets spray, everyone gets sprayed, and then they beat the shit out of the new monkey. Damn. So it got to the point where they were replaced the monkey and eventually it's like, the monkey, even if it touch the ladder and they didn't spray it. They would still beat the shit out of the new monkey, right?

They'd be like, don't touch the ladder. And got to the point where they started replacing so many that there was no monkey that had ever been sprayed with water. But they would still beat the shit out of the monkeys because they were like, this is just what we do. This is what we don't touch the ladder. The ladder will be beat up. And it's like, I think what that is what the people come in is people that work at

restaurants where people sit down, but they get to a new food restaurant. They can't be like, oh, I got to be. mad for something. We're going to beat their share that customer for coming in before clothes. Even if it takes five minutes to make the food. I think I think that might be that. That's such a horrible experiment. Like I know I'm laughing and smiling, but also that's like, that's terrible. That is interesting. I had never heard that before. I think it's real. I'm pretty sure it's real, but you know, who knows? I have to say too, you and I both worked at the same restaurant, sorry. And I do, it is different at a sit down place when it's like, okay, we close in 15 minutes.

And then someone comes in and just like, table for three. And it's like, Like, well, you're not going to eat and leave in 15 minutes, are you? But I did always think the social, like, some people are oblivious and then, so maybe it doesn't work so well, but the social pressure of being that last table in a restaurant while like five servers and the bartender and the, and the chefs in the back are like in the way, everyone in the whole place is, is waiting to leave and you're sitting there just like, sushi, that's got to be so fucking awkward, right? Like, they are, they're suffering enough, but maybe people just do.

Don't give a shit. I don't know. They're having a magical moment. It's the greatest date I've ever been. Didn't we do that at a fogo or something once? The Brazilian Steakhouse where we were the last table. They still had to bring us to the meat. Oh, we would never. We would never do that. What? No. We were the only table. There's like four guys just hovering around us with meat on like, you go hot more? No, other people did this, not us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We wouldn't do that. That doesn't sound true. I don't think that happened. Were you spreading lies about us? Puts me in a bad mood, man. Better look out. He's not going to want to hang out with us. There is nothing like finishing, cleaning up your ice cream area, and then having a customer in it's like,

I want a giant chocolate malt, extra thick. Like two minutes before closed, and it's like, but that sprays everywhere. It'll cover everything we've just cleaned and milkshake again. You go into the guy,

but sir, it sprays everywhere. We don't have the technology to block that. I mean, that happened a lot. People would come in last minute for ice cream. It was always like, Oh, fine.

We'll make it. We're open and we can serve it here. You enjoy your Sunday. Glad you want that midnight banana split. We actually had closed and we'd locked the door. We'd turned like the lights off. We were counting like the registers or whatever we did before closed. Like before we actually got to leave.

And someone came like, I think I haven't even told this story in here before. Someone came frantically up to our door and was like pounding on the door. And it's a glass door. So we see them and we're like, okay, something's wrong. So we open. We're like, we're closed. Can we help you? It's a police.

I desperately just, I really need a milkshake. Sir, we are closed. What do you mean you desperate? An emergency milkshake? I've never heard of this. It's like, I am really fucking high and it just sounds so good. I need it so bad. I was in a bit of a conundrum because I was like,

well, there is another one, UDF open like 24-7, like three miles from here. But I also don't want to tell this guy who's high out of his fucking mind to go driving three miles to another location. So what do I do here? I don't remember if I told him there was another location or not, It's like I don't really feel like it's morally correct for me to send you driving off somewhere in your current state But also I'm not making you a fucking milkshake. We're closed everything's shut down

Couldn't if I wanted to Well, I could make you a milkshake Die Go die I can't get arrested we're closed We can kill now Die dealing with people late at night The rest of the day was fine

That last like 20 minute window of just staring angrily at the front door Daring anybody to come in It was your monkey last ladder boat, squirt. Did it work when you glared at the mangerly? Did anyone ever turn around? No, because we, I think we, like, we knew we couldn't actually glare. So it was like a...

We should create a scenario as like a therapy session, whereas like you're working at the desk and I'll walk in and you make me leave, right? Okay, all right? Okay. You get the apron, you got your little choo-choo hat. Right? You had a hat, right? For UDF?

Yeah, they wore hats. I'm pretty sure they had hats. I don't think we had hats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poofy shoulders. Like gloves, like dainty gloves, right? No, don't think we use gloves. Anyway.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Hey, you open? No. Open. Uh, can I get a milkshake? How are you in here? The door was locked. Oh, I'm fine.

Thank you for asking. I would like a chocolate. Malt, please. We're out of malt powder and milk. I see milk studs you could crunch them up. The cash register is broken. I'm going to hang out here. The police are on their way.

Well, thank God. All right, I guess you can take out. Ah, see, come on, man. No, you failed. No. You'll never grow as a human. Oh, you were so cool. How can I say no?

That charisma, man. It beats me every time. That's right. Look, hey, but you're funny. Don't forget that. Hey, very funny. All right. Well, I'm gonna say this therapy session is concluded.

Can I share a story I found before you finally wrap it up? I don't care if it's for points or not. I just found it really funny. If it's actually funny, I'll just find it really funny. point at you and tell you. There was a story of, I was like, I don't know if I have this many stories. I was looking at other people's stories of what happened when they were angry. And there was a person who, I couldn't tell if they were like a CEO or worked in HR,

but they worked in like customer, whatever, an employee something where employees would come knocking their door and come into their office, basically quite often. They were having a really bad day. After dealing with someone particularly annoying, they were like, whatever, they went to take a bathroom break and they went to like a bathroom stall, closed and locked the door and were like sitting there doing their business. And someone came and like knocked on the door. while they were in there and they were just already annoyed and pissed, but they forgot that they

weren't in their office and they yelled come in angrily instead of occupied. And apparently that changed the trajectory of their day because it was just really fucking funny of come in and the person outside's like uh never mind. And I found that story very funny so I had to share that one. You're just holding the door handle you're like my life is at a crossroads right now. I have a choice here. I see two paths. Anyway, that was a short and sweet, but I found it really funny.

Unfortunately, I actually laughed and I didn't point at you and say it was funny, so I guess it wasn't funny. Because it wasn't my story. Wasn't there a story about how like, I forget which senator or something, it was like, it was like a bathroom stall. It was like tapping your foot or something. Remember being assigned like, I want to solicit sex from you other person. in the next stall. There was someone something like that.

I don't remember who, but it was like a senator or congressperson or something. Yeah, that was in the news. So from then on, is anyone else, this happened to anyone else where I became irrationally afraid of tapping my toe in a,

in a bathroom stall, lest it be misread as a solicitation or something, because I'm like, I'm not a stall toe tapper by any means, but I've been known to bounce my knee a couple times when I'm pooping. So I'm like, Anyone else get weirdly afraid of that?

I am not an overthinker, generally. I'm pretty laid back. But public bathroom stalls, if I'm in a stall, like if I had to sit down to do business and I'm in, I sit in there and I'm like, I need to make sure I'm ready in case someone opens the door. I don't. When I go to the bathroom at home, I'm like a toddler. I like, I strip naked and just what, but when I'm in per, I like sit on the thing and I'm like, oh, I have my pants positioned and I'll make sure that I look presentable. and I'm not tapping. I don't want to make any extra noises.

I don't want anyone around me to know what's going on here. It's very polite and professional. I literally, possibly the only place in the whole world where I'm like, I better make sure I don't do anything unthoughtless or do anything extra. If someone came in here, they'd be like, oh, excuse me. And I'd be like, yes, good day. Like, I don't know what it is about. But yes, no, I didn't need that news story in my life to make me way overthink what I'm doing in the bathroom stall.

And I come up with contingencies, too. If I sit down and I forgot to check before I decided if there is toilet paper, I'm frantically like, all right, which side do I ask? How do I ask for toilet paper from my neighbor? What if our fingers touch while he's handing into me? What does that mean? Do I need to do something? Like, I go down whole rabbit holes. It's stressful situations, but I would never tap my toes.

I do everything in my power to avoid using public restrooms. I plan my trips around, all right, well, if I eat this food, usually I've got like 30 minutes or I've got three hours before I need to, so we can go to the store after that, but then straight home. Ever since we were at a convention years ago, we had like someone that was escorting us around, because there was a lot of fans around. And so someone escorted me to a restroom at one point. And I thought their whole point was they were going to not let it else in the restroom. So I went to like stand at a urinal and then right as I was in the middle of pissing, a fan comes running in, camera out.

Dude, can I get a selfie? And I'm like, dick in hand mid-piss like, can it wait a minute? Like, and I was like, I don't know if I'm on video right now. I don't know what the fuck's happening. But like, I don't know, ever since that experience of just like there's nothing I can do. I, I am standing here and there's, I guess I'm either on camera or I'm not. I don't know. Why are you pissing so far away from the urinal?

You could just kind of like, hey, don't. I don't even know that I was, but there was just something in my brain where I was like, this is how my dick gets revealed. Are you standing at the other opposite wall going for the distance record? Is that what you're doing? No, not now. It's like the carnival game. I was trying to hit the target.

It's trying to pop the water balloon and see how much you could get in there. I was like, I'm a pissed sniper. Well, I mean, that's how they knew you were in there. You were just shouting up the bathroom. Hey, I know the piss sniper. Wait! What's that, uh, what's the sniper's name? The, the dude, the snow guy, the white something.

The snow guy. White death? I think it was white death. White death? Yeah, there's a sniper called white death. I was trying to think of a pun where I was yellow something. Yellow death? Yellow death.

I'm yellow death. I've hit 16 targets with one bladder. Better than brown death, the poop sniper. Point at me. Say that was funny. That was funny. Damn it. Why didn't I go brown? That was a good extra story.

I appreciate that. And none of us tap our toes in the bathroom, noted. God, no. If I remember next to someone who claims to be one of you two, but their toe is a tapping, I'll know it's a trap. I would say that's the end of the episode. Mark, you earned points for, man, I wrote like Wade again today. Perfectest crime lie point. Climate change.

Very funny. Illegal interview tactics. Where'd he go? Not saying those slurs you have to try so hard not to say when you're in a bad mood. Uh, talking to Amy, people unpleaser, monkeys slash children in cages, and, hmm, die. Wade, you were points for outside walk. Penny Loo, you bitch. What?

Oh, here's your severance. There you go. Neyman. And I. actually know what you guys are talking about. Oh, there you go. Yeah. In the weird voice.

Yeah. Bitch baby mess. The thing that makes you activate. Hi, how are you? But that sprays everywhere. And I'm a piss sniper. Making the actual score, I will say, until your last little edition, Wade. Mark was up.

It was nine for Mark and eight for Wade. One of Mark's is a lie point. Wade, Wade scored some piss sniper points. It's now nine to nine, and Mark has one lie point. Can't believe my poop sniper joke didn't get a point. This is traditionally where we spin the wheel. And? Yeah.

The thing about that is I have to move my computer in order to do this next part. Oh man, I can't believe a gun on a mount isn't a good stable platform to put my computer on. You've got to work on your Halo Reach. That's funny. Oh, the coin flip. I'm going to flip my pen. Do you guys all have a coin? Do we each want to flip a thing?

They'll got it. All right. Heads is spin, tails is no spin. Jesus Christ. Tails. I got spin. Man, I flipped that right to my microphone. Sorry about that.

All right. Here we go. Gamer skills. Activate. I forgot that this was a stupid system. Dude, too, too, too, too, too, this is a very legitimate thing. Doot, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Sudden death.

Oh, no. You know, it's not so stupid, it's just natural. The old thing is that stupid. I'm pretty sure it's not stupid. Well, why do we don't have this sudden death? We all. Oh, fuck. Oh, God damn it.

Well, it's got plus 10% on it. I don't know if you knew that. This is 10%? I don't even know. I think it was at 6% plus 10. I mean, you could rebuild the wheel. You could do that from a, I think it got, I don't think it's been spun since the last time. I think it got freshly reset.

And I think we started at 6%. I think that's correct. So I think it's just a, it goes to 16%. And then the other 84 is split between the two of us. 42, 42, 16. I'm hoping it's a still a still image and you get the, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Guess who's not getting a one-man show if I get to do it.

that. Oh, you never know this guy? All right, wait. So what do we decide the weights are? 16 and then 42, 42, if it's 100% if it's on a pie.

This one is just straight up weights. So I think I can just put 42, 42 and 16. Math sounds right in my head. Okay. Now all I have to do is share that one. There you go.

You guys see that? Yes. One man. One man shoe. One man shoe. I'll show you it has a probability of 16%. I believe this. The perfectest crime or a one-man show.

It's all good except unless it lands on. Oh my god. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, I thought it was. Wade wins. Yay. Woo-hoo.

Well, all right. Listen, I asked for bias and this is what I get. get I can't believe it. I thought it was stopping in the yellow. It like paused in there. I'm happy that didn't happen. Thank God we made these wheel spins as easy as possible for Bob being not at home. Yeah, Bob, why don't you carry your wheels with you? Listen, it would be smart if I did that. All right, Wade wins in a sudden death spinorama. There's no one-man shows. Congratulations, Wade. Would you like to give your winner speech? It was a good, well-earned fight and I was in a bad mood going into this. Not really, but I'm in a better mood now.

So well done, Bob. I did it. Congratulations to all of us. Except Mark, would you like to give your loser's speech? You both are really funny. You're funny, you know that? But not in a ha-ha way. In a way that pisses me off. I'm pissed. And let me tell you, when I'm pissed... I don't know, I don't get... I really... I really... I don't know. Mark, you're being a dick. Thanks, Amy cut out.

Somehow that makes me more, man. You sound like that guy I tried to interview. Guess what happened to him? Knife. Severance. Anyway, good TV show, but I've never seen it. So I'm only going based off hearsay. That's not Severance.

That's jackass. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck you were doing. Hi, my name's Johnny Knoxville and this is Severance. That could also be King of the Hill. Dane-a-da-d-o-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l. Let's end this. I don't know. All right, I'm done.

Okay, yeah. Wade wins. Wade hosts, the next one. Thank God for that. That's going to be it. Make sure you check out the merch at distractible. Dotter. Check out Mark and Markiplier,

Wade, at Lord, Minion, 7-7-7-7-7. I am Ice Gurb. This is by Distractable. Make sure you follow the podcast, and then you'll know when there is the podcast. And thank you for listening, and thank you for watching. Equally.

Neither one of those is above the other. They're the same. You're the same. You know when I point and talk seriously that it's the truth, you're the same. Thank you, everybody. That's it. We'll see you in the next one. Podcast. Out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.