Distractible - Bad Or Worse

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

What could be worse than not listening to Distractible? Trick question, there is nothing worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Maverick Mark puts his pals through progressively painful places and paces. Weightless Wade crumples boundaries on the basketball court, ponders alone, and bird-bashes a bride. Platter-busting Bob pimps his ride, fears not making it to the john, sucks steel balls and blows up Bruce from deity slaying to interplanetary colonization. Yeeeeeeees. It's time for bad or worse. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Good evening and or morning and or afternoon To everyone who listens to this wonderful podcast distractible go now tell your friends about it do it now before it's too late

Hey guys, I heard this new podcast that you should listen to I don't know if you've heard of it go on You're my only friend and so I'm telling you. Ah, thank you. Thank you I was actually reminded of an episode that was just like, people, you know, sometimes people in the subreddit will be like, what episode really makes you laugh? And I remembered illegal advice and you guys talking about shooting God in buckets full of wheelchairs, a 10 gallon bucket of wheelchairs. So I listened to that one again recently and man, that was fucking funny. Man, we used to be funny.

That partially inspired today's episode But it's not really in any way going to be related to that So no one get their hopes up. It probably won't be anywhere near least funny. Legal and advice. How'd you guess? It's a bad guess actually. I'm gonna take away a point for a bad guess. Hit me again. Oh It's this way. He's back. I'm tired. I'm grumpy and I don't want your stinky point, but I'll give you a stinky point I'm gonna give you one really stinky. Ah, you got a stinky point. Is there gonna be stink lines coming off? I'm drawing stink lines and there's a fly here, too I hope at the end you can use that fly for an extra point and no, I don't think I will I draw real good

He's not you I'm gonna give you one burn point. Yeah Who won no one yet? I thought we were gonna do a speed episode where we just started ended and it was all bamboota boom We might I've I've never had more prompts for an episode than this one here. I've got I Can't count Wow, that's so many. I wish you could count mark. I'm so sorry Look how many you can't see but look how many prompts I have holy crime is freaking ready boys

I have us in the tiny little rectangles So I saw all of your screen except for where any of the prompts work Well Bob has an unfair advantage because he saw a little preview of what's to come editors don't show it Why do you have us in tiny rectate? What's the point of seeing each other if you're not gonna look at us? Well, it's like it's the vertical like tick tocky slivers So I don't see like the wide angle you can change that. Yeah, but then it gets too much. Oh, okay Never mind. I don't want it to be too much for you. All right. Okay. All right. I'll give you an honesty point That's good. There's only one honesty point per episode and I think you're gonna get that one honesty Yeah, I'm probably gonna be honest. Oh, that was a lie this honesty point. No. No, I got a feeling there's gonna be even deeper dishonesty

I'm gonna shoot whoever I God You better not be my god I was like I was like I'm gonna shoot God for making math too hard for Mark. I was like I already made that joke. I gotta think of something else. I'm gonna shoot whoever god. It didn't really come out good. Keep going. I'm gonna curse whoever made math too much for Mark to count prompt good. That's great. That's great. Uh Bob you've won the right to start small talk. Guys I know everyone's gonna be very excited about this and especially the viewers, I ordered more parts for my car.

I think I talked about how it's summertime now and I have gold wheels that I'm gonna, I need to get the tires mounted on, but I'm gonna put those on. Gold wheels? And if you wanted to Google it, they're gold NK TS10s. They're like thin, spoked wheels that it's a it's a classic Subaru look the the iconic Subaru WRX look is the blue which mine is and with gold

Rally rims on it and so my rims are not high-end rally rims. Mine rims are honestly really cheap, but it's the look Are you a pimp? No, it doesn't look like a pimp car It looks like a nerdy car Are you a pimp? No, it doesn't look like a pimp car. It looks like a nerdy car, douchebag car, if I'm honest. Like Weird Al and that song White and Nerdy? No, kind of, but no. Gih, no, ick.

But also I ordered carbon fiber, a carbon fiber lip and a carbon fiber spoiler. It's not really a spoiler. What's it called? It's okay. I'm never going to play that game. You can tell us. And also a carbon fiber roof spoiler, which goes at the top of your rear window.

Guys, it's coming together. I know everyone always loves my car updates. And I, when I get all this stuff installed, I'm definitely taking some pictures and I will share. I'll put it on the subreddit for everyone who appreciates it and gets really excited for me. Is this how you feel when you talk about lenses, Mark? The blank stares and the palpable disappointment.

No, I'm excited. I'm listening. I'm listening. No, Wade's disappointed because he thinks like we glossed over his spoiler joke. Wade, we both got it. No, no, it's something you glossed over. It's that I found it hilarious and you guys didn't laugh at all. I got it. I'm just in the middle of something here. No one will ever find me as funny as I do. And it's just tragic.

Well, you weren't even laughing, Wade. Duckbill spoiler. That's what I was trying to think of a word. Duckbill spoiler is what it's just tragic. Well, you weren't even laughing Wade duck bill spoiler That's what I was trying to think of a word duck bill spoiler is what this called that I got got any grapes Yeah, see no, haha. Good job, Wade Oh, and I also got an armrest extension because the armrest in my car is really low It's a JDM armrest extension, which means it's from Japan Wow Did you guys hear about the Cybertrux gas pedal extension? Dude, it's so sick. It has a second cruise control and this one is not automatic or smart at all.

It just goes baby. It goes, that's all you need. I didn't know they came with those race mode pedals. Yeah, for those who don't know the Cybertrux had a stop-sell order, I believe, because the gas pedal, I had a stop-sell order, I believe, because the gas pedal- I saw a video of someone demonstrating it. The cover on the top of the gas pedal with like the anti-grip or the grip stick part of it, it comes off super easy and the way- if you looked at the bottom where the the foot space is of the driver's seat there's a little lip under the front of the the the floor where it goes into like the the front of the car and the electrical components go in there.

Where that perfectly fits the- the tapered tip of the gas pedal cover. So if it slides off and you're pushing forward, it'll push the thing forward right into that little thing. Wedge the gas pedal down on full throttle, just like you want. And if you don't know what happened and you can't look down because you're going full throttle on wherever you are and those things you know it's an electric engine it goes it'll go that's one thing you can't say about it it doesn't go it goes i saw some people and i think this is just people who are not car people online who are like why are there covers on the pedals why not just make this? This is a very common thing. Lots of cars have a cover plate on the pedals for aesthetic reasons. That's not the thing that's weird about this. That's very common. The thing that's weird is that if you haven't seen the video,

basically the pedal is mounted to the floor. So instead of some pedals are mounted to the top of the foot area, this one's mounted to the bottom, right? So it like swings the top swings. And Mark was describing how it'll get wedged Basically the thing that's weird is that it's the areas designed in a way to where it creates a wedge that holds the pedal down The covers on the pedals not weird. I saw people talking about that I kept thinking and I think everyone thought this but I feel like I'm one of the only ones who doesn't say out loud that I still hate the Cybertruck like I think a lot of lot of people, even people who own it, saw it and were kind of like, oh, I don't know, that's crazy. It looks kind of ugly.

But then it came out. And now all these people, especially people who own it, post these videos where they look so much cooler in person. And I got it wrapped. So mine's matte black Cybertruck instead of shiny aluminum or whatever, stainless steel or whatever it is, blah, blah, blah. I still think it just looks fucking awful. Am I alone in this or?

They've got like Stockholm Center, they bought it. Now they regret it. They're like, no, I still think it just looks fucking awful. Am I alone in this or? They've got like Stockholm syndrome. They bought it. Now they regret it. They're like, no, I actually love it. I mean, that must be it because I haven't seen anything about it. Even reviews like where it's like close-up videos. It's ugly. It's just fucking ugly. And all those people. It looks like a PlayStation 1 like car that someone designed in like a half-priced game. They could only afford to put 10 pixels on the car and that's what they did came up with

I just wanted to put that out there because I've since before launch I feel like a lot of people memed on it and I was like, yeah It is ugly and after launch Oh even a bunch of reviewers who have some negative things to say about it because like it has terrible visibility in the front and the Big giant windshield is really weird and they were like, ah, but it looks so cool, doesn't it? And I'm just like no no, it looks really ugly It was like a big triangle box strolling around it. If you think it's ugly, let me know and if you like it, shut up

I'm not interested in your opinion on that, but it is also funny It was a stop-sale order, which is like a ridiculous thing that doesn't happen to normal auto manufacturers And they're not recalling them. Well, the solution is to pop the little plate off because then it's fine It's a stupid problem that just creates an incredibly dangerous scenario Uh-huh good thing that thing's not enormous good thing It doesn't turn into a horrible battering ram of pure steel good thing It's not shaped like an actual bullet and made of such a rigid stainless steel that the crumple zone is about an inch and a half. Uh, in my-

Good small talk. I got you one. Wade- Thanks. Go on. What were you about to do, Wade? No, carry on. What you were about to do, Wade. Uh, thanks. I've also got some small talk.

No, no, no. I can tell the disdain was there. I was just saying, Bob, for his small talk, and I was turning it over to you, and you were already going down the path. I'll give you minus one point for going down the path. I wasn't this time. He was, he was, you saw it going. I think he thought that I thought he was gonna skip me,

but I didn't think he was gonna skip me. You did think I was gonna skip, I could tell, I could tell. Going down the path. No, I was scrolling through pictures of the cyber I heard it. I heard it look man. It's someone who already told you to take points away from me today I'm not gonna switch gears now. I heard it in the tone everyone on the subreddit You heard it too. You heard it editors amplify his audio play it again in my There was a weird thanks because there's a picture here of the weird fucking

Plate extender thing that they're putting on the gas pedal. It looks ridiculous. That was a little harsh mark I gotta say I usually with you but no that was totally I can tell I could tell I could tell I didn't I didn't Read the same situation that you did. I gotta say it's fine. You know what mark? Thanks bitch Fuck you for thinking that I thought that you thought you were gonna skip me and I hope you eat the most unwiped asshole You sick fuck I hope you choke on it and then you go to the hospital and then to remove turd nugget from your throat that you choked on There you go. Is that what you wanted? For my small talk. It's wholesome. All right. I'll give you a point for that. That's, that's,

that's impressive. There's this, I found this. I'm not stealing your tits. Your small talk. Wait, I just tick tock update. Cause I know people like that too. Oh, it's cool. It's your turn to talk. Go for it. I've had the tick tock channel where the guy just does insults that are confusing. Like you can't tell if they're good or not. Yours was clearly pretty insulting, but I love the idea of like insults where you can't tell if they're good or not yours was clearly pretty insulting But I love the idea of like insults where you can't tell if it's an insult Like you just you're fighting with so they're like do you look like someone whose mom buys crispy creams at the grocery store? Cuz that's probably an insult right is it can't go to that can't wait in line at the drive-thru for the crispy cream can't

Believe it you like the kind of person who uses self-checkout Shit, you look like the kind of person who gets self-checkout. Oh shit. You look like the kind of person who gets four hour energy because five is too much. I can't tell if that's offensive, but it feels good to say. Anyway, do your small talk, Wade. Yeah, Wade, what's your small talk? So my nephews came by and we played basketball for like two or three hours outside. And it's like the second or third time this year, I've actually like played basketball. And I hadn't played really at all in years. Like I still have some of my ability to like dribble and I think I

still have my form but my god does the ball not consistently go where I want it to go anymore because I'll shoot I'm like yeah good form switch yeah good form over the backboard yeah good form three feet short yeah good form three feet short. Yeah Can I say literally right before we got on to record this I was I think it was a Molly posted some stuff on Instagram and one of them was a video of you guys playing basketball or something and I was like, oh who is that? I don't know who that is but it's you and like Your nephews are in like jeans and like normal clothes and you're out there looking like a basketball guy and you have like your Air Jordans on and they're all like messing around

and they pass the ball to you and you look so official and you're just like and the ball just goes two feet short right off the post where that thing where it hits and then rolls away at full speed the whole clip i'm like oh look at, oh he looks and then the ball's just like boing! That's the way it is getting back into it man. It like caught me off guard because you look like you look like a basketball guy like you got the shorts you were in a sleeveless shirt you look like you. Did he dribble between the legs did he do that? No but he like he looks so cool right like they throw you the ball you're just like oh, oh, like you look like you would play basketball and then it was just such a,

it was such a perfect like, it's wild because like that's the, I don't know what part of your brain you have to train for that, but like whenever you're learning to play basketball, they teach you to keep your elbow in. Like some people shoot, like your elbow goes out. You want to keep your elbow tucked in. So it's like, I'm trying to like do those things,

like the small like things I remember about like, okay, I don't want to get into bad habits. I'm trying to learn to play again. Gotta like do all the right things. I'll either swish where it like hits the bottom of the net. Like you're watching like Steph Curry warm up. And it's like, you hear that lovely noise, like the swish, swish.

And it's like, dude, I'll hit two of those in a row. And it's like, all right, all right, I'm feeling it. And then the next shot, we'll hit the top of the backboard and go flying into the woods. And it's like, I swear, all right, I'm feeling it. And then the next shot will hit the top of the backboard and go flying into the woods. And it's like, I swear I'm doing the same thing. Yeah, and then sometimes I'll completely fall. Like I'll shoot the same shot 10 times

and there'll be four makes, two will swish in, two will bank in, and then two or three will be just wildly in some weird direction that doesn't make sense. And then two or three fall like completely short, like barely hit the pole. And then it's like, I feel like I'm doing the same thing. Why am I getting such drastically different results? But I'm less worried about that.

It's more so like just trying to get into basketball shape again, because the muscles you use when you're playing, like I think any sport are very different than like when you work out or when you walk or do this or that. Can I also say, Wade, you're you're absolutely right, because the only aside from watching you playing basketball, whatever,

and it made me chuckle because and you missed a shot. Whatever. Like very funny. Well, it's just it was such a perfect like like whiff. It's just very funny, which Molly definitely chose and posted on purpose because I'm sure she had I'm sure she had videos of you making plenty of shots. There were some good shots. Yeah, there were a couple like three pointers or half court shots The main thought I had when I saw you I was like man, he looks good. God his knees though

They looked fine But I'm just imagining like we're definitely at that age where if you're not in pretty good shape and then you try and play A sport like that. You just gotta you gotta be careful And maybe that's just how I feel cuz I'm out of shape But like we're approaching the age of problems if you're not keeping up with it's like we're at the age where you have to keep up to maintain your athleticism and an injury potential We're not at the age where that's a default yet because that that does happen down the road

But I'd like to defend us just a little bit guys. Well I know you guys are way more in shape than I am too so it's like it's a it's a function of the fact that I'm not athletic and I'm not I don't play any sports but like that was my thought internally I was like God I hope his knees are okay. For a few years after I stopped playing my knees bothered me a lot like doing stairs and stuff actually bothered my knees a lot I would say the last like three or four years, I feel like they've hurt less. Either that or I've just become numb to it.

But playing like so many years of basketball outside, like on a blacktop court or like concrete instead of like, you know, the indoor properly made gymnasiums. Probably didn't help. I will say yesterday, I decided to try to like do a couple of layups and I tried to like go up and grab the rim

and just see how high I could still jump. So I used to be able to dunk the basketball and I can't palm the ball. Like that's as far apart as my fingers spread. Like they just do not spread very far. So in order to dunk, I either had to two-hand it or I had to like pin the ball between my hand and like my wrist.

And like I could get up to here or so on the rim which isn't that impressive, but like it's enough to where I could get the ball, get it in there. So yesterday I was like, I wonder how my vertical still is. Let's go. Oh boy. So I ran up to like, just try to see how high I could get up on the rim and I ended up grabbing it. I don't know if you can see this might not show. I've got like a little red dot here and like a couple of lines on my fingers here where I grabbed the rim. And I don't know what that's called, but if you first start like blisters, maybe blisters or something like, you know, where you like burst the little blood

vessels a little bit. Like I grabbed the rim one time and then i landed and my hand didn't bother me i just noticed that afterward but like that's that's as high as i can get now is like here whereas i used to be like down here so i've lost like eight inches of my vertical but i will say i landed from that jump attempt and my knees didn't bother me but my whole body was like oh my god what are you doing something about putting all of that effort into getting as high as i can to the landing i was like all right let's see what i got because i used to do that just over and over it's like whenever i was trying to dunk it was like try to dunk fail try to dunk that try to dunk fail and i would just keep going on repeat for

what felt like half an hour i did one big jump where i put everything I had into my legs and I landed and my whole body was just like in Fucking red alert mode where it was like SIT! WATER! GET THE SPAN WATER! OXYGEN! WE'VE NEVER NEEDED THIS BEFORE! WHAT DO WE DO? HE'S PUTTING IN EFFORT! HE'S PUTTING IN EFFORT! OH GOD! I feel my my reaction of man. I hope he's okay It feels very vindicated right now one jump, and I was like you guys shoot for a while I'm gonna go stand in the shade with my water bottle I hurt I don't hurt nearly as bad today as I did the first time I played basketball a little while ago So this third time playing it's like, okay

My body is at least being able to handle it I was outside shooting for like two or three hours the first time it was like 30 minutes and like the next day I could Like barely move any of my body because of soreness now Now it's like I was out there shooting around for a couple of hours and it's like do I feel it a little bit? Yeah a little but nothing too crazy. Am I in shape or like do I have good endurance? No but it's at least progress. It's the first time I've had progress in like a sport or exercise in a long time so it's a baby step but despite the uh horrible air ball or three times that I overshot the ball and it ended up like in the woods or wherever else might not be a consistent shooter, but the rest of me is getting there and Bird, who we I think we insulted last episode for something he and Tyler and I played. We played 21, which if you don't know what 21 is, you try to get the 21 via shooting.

There's only one three points allowed to be made. Otherwise it's two pointers and free throws. And if you, if the ball hits the rim and bounces off and you jump and you tip it before your feet hit the ground, you send the person back to zero or if they get past 13, they go back to 13. It's like the save point. It was really fun. I hadn't played that in probably like 12 years. It feels good to be back playing basketball again. And it's something I did a lot growing up that I hadn't done since my first or

second year of like college or something or right after college. So it feels good to be playing it again because it's been so long Anyway, it's time for the episode. I can't have this all be small talk. Let's get down to the meat of the matter Wait, you win the right to go first Great It's still worse! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Yeah, music is playing right now. Yeah, okay. It's bad! Or is it worse? It's really bad and also worse.

It's bad! Oh, it is so bad! All together now! It's bad! Bad! Or worse! Alright, cool. Good. Wade, I want you to name something that's worse than Stubbing your toe. That's easy stubbing two toes man. Is that your final answer? Well, hold on I can how extreme you want me to go you'll be go like all right stubbing two toes

Bob I want you to name something that is in between stubbing your toe and stubbing two toes. Wade played a really smart first move. God damn. It doesn't have to be related to toes, but it's gotta be worse than stubbing one toe, but not as bad as stubbing two toes. Well, you know what? I feel like I might have something for this specifically stepping on

between three and six Lego pieces that are all put together into one shape. So it's not like one little piece and it's not like a whole thing, but it's like a little chunk of Legos. So you step and you step on it like right in the heart of your foot, right in your arch or something and it breaks apart under your foot. And so I would say, I would say that's definitely worse than than stubbing your toe but it's hard to judge if that's worse than two toes or not. The the genius of Wade's play is that if you stub one toe versus two toes it's almost a negligible difference because the pain is in the

same space and it's accessing the similar nerves so it's definitely worse but it's like it's hard to discern how, like, that much worse between 1 and 2. But I feel like stepping on six LEGO bricks is much, maybe not much worse, but it definitely feels worse because it could fragment, the multiple pieces could dig in, it could be tall, that could really do some damage, especially to those tendons along the arch, so I'm giving Wade the point on this one for toe. You're overestimating the amount of damage Legos can do. I- the thi- what I was thinking was the thing about Legos is it's a sharp pain, but it goes away quickly. That could cut your skin.

What the hell kind of Legos are you playing with, man? You got six! You sa- if it was just one, I would say like, oh that's- It was six like normal, you know, like two by threes or two by four It's not like six enormous chunks of Lego. It's like a little I'm just saying that it's not one piece of Lego It's not like it's not gonna cut you your foot How much callus do you have on your foot? My foot wouldn't be cut by Lego the way that I'm judging this is which one would I rather do? Would I rather stub two toes or would I rather step on sick an ass- a random assembly of six Legos? There's an uncertainty to that that I don't know what the assembly is

It could be quite- it could be shaped like a knife up in my arch if it's in the dark No matter what you're wandering through the house. There's either Legos or a rogue coffee table I feel like I would rather stub two toes because I've done that and it has yet to break anything It's always just been like UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU One toe is worse than the Legos. I don't think the Legos is in between. I think the Legos is better than even stubbing one toe. You'd rather step on Legos. Okay, so this- that also would put the point in your favor, because if it's- if it's actually not as bad as even stubbing a toe, then it doesn't fall in between. It's gotta fall in between. Yeah, but I mean, just for me personally, I stub my toes all the time,

and they bother me for like days or weeks after sometimes, especially the damn pinky toe. I stub my pinky toes so much and they hurt so bad every time. If you stub both your pinky toe, you didn't specify which toes, like you splay out with both legs and both pinky toes. No, dude, pinky toes are not, Maddie, not that recently, but at some point in the recent past, Maddie caught her pinky toe on like the bed frame or something. It was like broken.

It was like weeks. She had to wear a boot on her foot because she could it couldn't walk it was really bad I cracked it so what I was gonna say was stubbing a toe and breaking the toenail as in between because what I did Was I stubbed my pinky toe and like the nail cracked in half all the way down to the base So I had to wait for it to grow out and putting on socks every time I put on a sock it like catch part Of that nail and yank it and I would look it like teary-eyed every time I think that's oh, that's so bad That sounds horrendous. All right, we got so many to get through. There's plenty of points to be at I'm giving away the point for toe, but Bob don't worry. There's so many opportunities here Name something worse Bob name something worse than getting a paper cut.

Getting two paper cuts. You can go for it. Okay, I know, I'm gonna play the game regular style. I don't want to be that guy. I would say picking up a stack of paper that's stapled together, like a packet, but not knowing that the staple isn't bent over on the back, and so you like pick it up and the staple like stabs into your finger, but just a packet, but not knowing that the staple isn't bent over on the back And so you like pick it up and the staple like stabs into your finger But just a little but like you pick it up and you're like ah and you're like and you get a little drop of blood From the staple that's that is a good one because yeah

I have had that happen before where it pierces the skin I would say that that actually is worse than paper cuz it cuz what I do is I go tennis how many rusty? Staples I have in this office You know all right wait name something That's right in between getting a paper cut and picking up a stapled stack of papers and it piercing your skin I think when you get one of those like sores in your mouth like on your inner lip or whatever like those little Whatever they are like the little bumps every now and then like almost not a pimple or whatever But like cold sore like one of those cold sores in your mouth. There's two different types

I actually learned this recently there's there's cold source, and then there's one that is on the Does everyone get those cuz I'm just gonna put out there. I don't think I get those I do maybe like two times a year right there's Canker sores versus cold sores. So there's a difference between this. The one is mostly on the inside of the lip, that's a canker sore. A cold sore is a large blister on the exterior part of the lip. So you're kind of thinking like canker sores. Are you talking about the interior ones called canker sores? I think it's the one on the inside of the lip. That's a canker sore, yeah. I feel like a paper cut. So the staple one's harder forker sores. I think it's the one on the inside of the lip. That's a canker sore, yeah. I feel like a paper cut.

So the staple one's harder for me to imagine because I've not pierced myself with something like that for a while. But a cold sore or canker sore rather, I know whenever I get them, it's a similar sensation to when you bother a paper cut, but I feel like it lasts a little bit longer. A paper cut, I feel like you have one or two days of,

ah, fuck, but I feel like the canker sore, if that's what it is, it's four or five days of, oh God, fuck. But I feel like the canker sore, if that's what it is, it's like four or five days of like, oh God, that's sensitive. Will that just go away? Cause every time I go to eat or something and you move your teeth, it's like, oh, stop. Totally get you. But I feel like that's worse than picking up the staples

because you said it lasts multiple days. So I'm giving Bob the point. I notoriously get them in a spot, like under my fingers where I end up using them and it's like I'll go to like click my mouse or I'll go to go to grab something and whatever I'm doing we'll just peel it back and like reopen it again. You don't put a band-aid on it? No. Why not? That'll keep it from healing up. Those are for important painful cuts. This is just a paper cut you know. Well you just said how bad or whatever. You know what's the really, the really pro move? If it's a bad paper cut, you like, take some like, scissors from the first aid kit

and trim the little skin flap and then you put Neosporin on it and then you put a bandaid? That bitch was gone. See I don't know if those are sterile, so what I do is I put it in my very sterile mouth and bite the skin off. Hey I mean, same difference. Licking your wounds has proven benefits to wound healing. Because the saliva in your mouth has like benefits to wound healing because the saliva in your mouth has like pain killing properties and they're even though there's a lot of bacteria in your mouth they say in reality your mouth being one of the entrances to the body it has a high

like antimicrobial and like immune system supporting mechanism. Good so biting the skin off is good. No that's not what I said. Science says it's good. Good work, Wade. Lick your wounds, bite your skin. Wade, name something worse than missing the bus. There could be school bus, missing any bus. It's not fun. First thing I can think of is being late for work.

Because bus, I think missing the bus, things like, okay, I might be late for school or my parents have to drive me. It's the whole thing. Being late for work, I feel like it's a whole nother ballgame because there's more long-term consequences. And it's a similar thing, because you're likely to be late.

Missing the bus doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna be late. It just means you have to find another inconvenient way to get there. Now there's more ways than ever, because you can call an Uber or a Lyft. But if you are just in fact late for work, one, your boss is not gonna be very happy

and you'll probably get a warning if it happens multiple times. Two, if you have appointments or shit to do like I feel like it's a different thing. Similar but different. Because missing the bus may make you late, but if you're definitely late, that is worse than just missing the bus. Missing the bus is inconvenient. Being late for work is like consequence. Bob, that's a narrow window. Name something in between missing the bus and full-on being late for work. Desperately needing the bathroom at work.

Theoretically, you're totally free to go use it, but you have to make it from wherever your desk is, from wherever the, you know, whatever your station is at work, if you're at a warehouse or if you're at like a register or whatever, you have to make it from there into the bathroom without encountering a customer or a person who needs something from you. it's like you're fine, right?

You're gonna make it but the whole trip to the bathroom you're like And you're like living in constant fear of like god, I hope Dave doesn't stop Cuz you can't if someone comes up to you you can't be like I just gotta take a quick shit and I'll be right back And then we can deal with if someone comes up to you. They're like, hey, did you can you send me that whatever you're like? Yeah. Yeah If you're like stuck in traffic or in a meeting or something like that kind of situation where you just can't get to the bathroom Well, that's like might pee your pants. Like I'm not it's not that bad Well, even that's not as bad as being late for work. Probably. All right. All right, hold on I need specification because do you need to take a

shit or is it just your bladder's about to explode? Because if you have your bladder full there is kind of the relief part of it. You know there's nothing better than the feeling of just like oh my goodness finally. I'm gonna say you're not like sick, it's not like you have diarrhea, but it could be either or. Maybe your coffee just caught up to you or something. It's not like you have diarrhea, but it could be either or maybe your coffee just caught up to you or something It's not like you're going you're going to be ill But it is like you desperately need to get to the bathroom and then you'll you'll be fine You're in the sims and suddenly you've got three red arrows going this on your bladder meter is like Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun

OOF THE VAMBA DEEBA AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I actually ran into this situation just a little bit ago because yesterday I needed to get something handed off in terms of like the edit and I had to go to the bathroom really badly But I couldn't go immediately because I'm like I need to get this to the point where it can start rendering and then I can go but I needed like another hour To get it done. I'm like, oh my god, or not an hour is like just enough time that I was like, ah, I don't know however, when you're late for work there's Consequences and I feel like that is a little bit worse because there are consequences to that if you're it's just an Inconvenience for needing to go to the bathroom and in the same way a missing the bus is inconvenience But there's no real pain to it or discomfort. It's just like ah Well, it depends right because like I'm not saying you're wrong

in giving Bob the point, but it depends because the bathroom is a higher intensity, shorter term thing. Whereas the bus is like, how long does it take to get there? How long does it take to get your ride? Is someone pissed off at you later for either being late or inconveniencing them to make you drive you or the money you spend on a ride?

So it's a smaller intensity, but could be longer term. It's hard to compare those two things. I don't care if you give Bob the point, but it is hard to compare. But because we were specifying between the uncertainty of being late and the certainty of being late, that's the window. It really is like, there's no uncertainty

about a bathroom need. It's a need. No, no, I'm just saying, which is the bathroom need even less than the bus? Those are the two I could flip flop. I don't think so. And I'm gonna saying which is the bathroom need even less than the bus. Those are the two I could flip flop. I don't think so. And I'm gonna give him... It's a real narrow window, but I think he threaded that needle.

I really do. I'm excellent at this game, obviously. All right, Bob, here's one for you. Name something worse than forgetting to charge your phone overnight. Setting the very important alarm that you needed to set for PM instead of AM. Oh! And then you wake up 45 minutes after you meant to and you're like, ALARM!

And the alarm is like, 730 PM bro, I'm waiting. God, the worst thing now is that the alarm has a separate volume than anything. And I'm like, why? Why would you allow alarms not to always be full blast? That's why I set an alarm. A reminder, sure, a reminder is like, gently remind- I don't need a- a- a tornado siren every time I have a reminder. But it's like, if I set an alarm, that's urgent. And why is that a separate volume control? I'm so confident, and also so uncomfortable right now, because I didn't go pee in between the break we just had, that I don't need to defend my position and I'm gonna let Wade talk about it

while I go pee. It's okay I'm probably gonna like prevent defending position just to get through more but go ahead yeah all right Wade thread that needle between forgetting to charge your phone and accidentally setting the wrong PM or AM on an alarm. Bob has been like going outside of the box and all of these and I want to commend him for that because mine Although I think over like the same situation But I literally had this situation recently where I didn't forget to plug my phone in and I set my alarm correctly However, fun thing about phone cords. Hey Bob, I'm just now answering because did you just vomit keys? Nothing? What nothing happened? Nothing happened. I guess nothing happened

Forgetting to plug your phone in versus the alarm. I did the dumb thing where I set my alarm correctly. I plugged my- What's in your mouth? Nothing. Open your mouth. Nothing. I plugged my phone in, I set my alarm.

And at one point I went to put my phone down and I actually like missed the side table and it fell on the floor. And I grabbed it, picked it back up, set it down, went to sleep. I woke up and to the knocking on my door and I was like, picked it back up, set it down, went to sleep. I woke up to the knocking on my door and I was like, why didn't my alarm wake me up? And I looked and my phone was dead and I was like, the hell?

So whenever my phone fell on the floor, what it did was it yanked out that USB part and unplugged it. So my phone didn't charge overnight, despite me doing everything correct. And I think doing everything right and still failing. Whoa, in between. I don't know what his problem is, Mark. I think it's a strategy of deception and it's not going to work. So I feel like it's a cheesy answer because it's trying to fall right in between with the same

topic because I like Bob's way of like going outside of the box. But being as it literally just happened to me like two weeks ago, I I'm gonna go with doing everything right and still having it all go wrong. What's going on over there? Hmm? Well from I'm gonna give I'm gonna give this one because Wade Dude it's been happening since he came back he ate like 30 Campbell's soups and now he's spitting out the lids. It's fine It's fine. So Wade by making the emotional distinction I think you do get just slightly more than just forgetting because that was the prompt forgetting to charge I'm gonna give Bob a mystery point because I don't know what the I'm captivated right now. All right, wait, you're up I'm

Focused here's one wait, what's? It's something don't worry about it name something worse than the Wi-Fi going out every few minutes. Like it's repeated all day long, every few minutes Wi-Fi is going out. You reset it, doesn't work, keeps going out. AC unit not working on a hot day. That is worse, I would consider that to be worse. The other is an inconvenience on something that's all day suffering. I already have my answer. Your car used to be fine and something has happened to where now,

when you try and buckle the seatbelt, it only actually clicks into place and buckles about once in every four or five tries. Alright, uh, yeah Bob, I like that answer. It's very different. I had a similar thing, My- one of my Toyota Corollas, because I had quite a few. One of my 99 Toyota Corollas. Always the same color. Always the same year. Always the same make and model. Um, had this problem with the ignition. What the fuck is that? Had a problem with the ignition where it wouldn't turn sometimes. Like physically I had to jiggle it so that it would actually unlock and go all the way. It was the most annoying thing. And then it spawned into a bigger problem, eventually, where it wouldn't turn at all.

And that was, I got stuck in a- I literally got stuck in a- Alright, hold- stop everything, stop! I feel like this is relative. The Wi-Fi going in and out could bother me more than the seatbelt. If I know the seatbelt's not locking and I can fix it, because being in a car is less of an inconvenience for me because I'm not using it all that often compared to Wi-Fi,

which I use all the time. So I feel like this one's kind of relative. Bob, is it similar where it's like the Wi-Fi, you try to reset it, where it's like, you've tried to fix it, you've looked in there, there's nothing, it's just like. Yeah, it's just how it is now. Like it's inexplicable and unfixable and you've looked at it. And the dealer was like, oh, it's

$1,800 if you want us to put a new seatbelt in and so like that's that cost more than your car is worth and you're like Well, this is just life now. This is tricky Yeah, cuz I don't imagine the Wi-Fi you'd live with that for all you'd get a new router Even the AC going out like you can sometimes fix that same day or next day is the seat belt thing more annoying than that Cuz it's longer term. No, when have you ever been able to get sometimes fix that same day or next day is the seatbelt thing more annoying than that because it's longer term? Nah, when have you ever been able to get an AC fix same day? You just had to deal with HVAC stuff. Was it fixed the same day? Alright, I'm gonna give it to Bob here because there's so much more opportunity to make points if we just

let's get through the list there's so much time. So I'm gonna give you Bob you threaded the needle with seat belt hell. Damn it, he's so much time. So I'm gonna give you, Bob, you threaded the needle with seatbelt, hell. Damn it, now he's got mystery point, I'm getting crushed. All right, Bob, you just washed your ride. You washed it, waxed it, you got it looking spiffy as hell. You're super proud of it. You literally pick up the bucket, you turn off the hose, and you just hear the biggest bird poop you've ever seen directly.

Not on the windshield, not on the roof. It's on the bridge between the windshield and roof. So it splatters back onto the roof and down the windshield. You just got a new phone and you just got home with it. And along with your phone, you've purchased a case as well as a screen protector, brand new phone. You take it, it's just out of the box You take it you set it on your table. You get the screen protector

You get the little sticker you get the little microfiber you take your time You get it perfectly lined up and then whoosh and you stick and you whoo-hoo And then you turn your phone screen on and there's a huge fucking speck of dust Right up in the corner of your brand new phone somehow in between the screen protector You just applied and the screen itself and it's stuck there for eternity Until you get rid of that screen protector that is worse, but I would almost consider that significantly worse There might be a good window here wait What's in between bird shitting on your just freshly waxed cleaned car and a dust after you?

Meticulously apply a screen protector. Sure, you just got married, you take your brand new wife or husband home, get him undressed and a bird flies over. FLYS ON! Right on your brand new clean spouse. Where'd the bird come from? I just gotta know, where are you? You know, whenever you're carrying them up the stairs and you leave the front door open that fucker just flowed You know it's supposed to be a joke, but I'm just gonna stick with it cuz it makes me laugh

I got I feel like that would have future ramifications your your your Bride or groom might think that they're cursed and the whole marriage is cursed It might be the sign that they were looking for that They just got undressed and then a bird just all over him, right? That's that's the thing. Yeah with the bubble the bubble or the the hair whatever under the screen I think still worse For you. Yeah for you, but actually not for I'm giving it for Bob. Bob you get bird poop. I disagree That was great. Wade. All right, we're gonna get progressively worse

You have run out of gas on an isolated road 50 plus miles away from civilization and you're out of gas doesn't really matter where it happens But you're driving home probably from work. They'll wearing your scrubs. It's a hot day your scrubs are black your seats are leather and black. You turn the corner and as you're turning a corner just a mile or two from home even maybe, your car just fucking dies and you have to get out and push it to a parking lot and call AAA or a tow or someone to come pick up your car because it just fucking died on you. That's worse?

I mean that's kind of the same thing but you just you just put it closer to town. Out of I'm saying something going wrong with like the engine or something is worse than being out of gas even with that distance factored in. Okay so the car is catastrophically okay it's but the car is broken. It's gonna still be a pain in your ass for a long time but it's also going to be expensive almost guaranteed specifically in this instance which was a real thing that happened to me i had to have my fucking engine rebuilt all right okay i'll give you that because it might be a big enough gap for bob to thread here i think all right bob what's what's in between getting stranded this is pretty close i'll probably in

the future i won't allow things that are so thematically similar it'll have to be like thematically different but you're you ran out of gas 50 miles away or your whole engine disassembled a mile away. I'm gonna say you are on a flight from somewhere, business trip, whatever, you're flying home. It's a fine flight, it wasn't delayed or anything and it's fine, you're just sitting there waiting to get there and like 40 minutes before you're about to land the the flight attendant gets on and is like oh ladies gentlemen so sorry

we're gonna have to announce that we're actually not going to be landing at Cincinnati airport there's been a situation we're not going to be allowed to land there so we're going to have to redirect and land in Louisville which is about three hours away from Cincinnati. So we'll be landing in Louisville shortly. So like your plane is fine. You're not going to crash. I think bad is that, but you're not, you're not going to end up at home. You're going to end up in Louisville and you're going to have to like rent a car and drive a few hours home or like wait and see if you can get a short flight

from one to the other. Everything is fine, but also huge pain in ass. Yeah, that is, because either you're waiting for probably a day in Louisville to get another flight or you get a rental car and you try drive, but you're fighting for a rental car. It costs some money, but you could maybe for like a hundred bucks or less, you could maybe rent a cheap car or get lucky,

or maybe there's a bus, I don't know. Like there's a solution that's probably cheaper than if your engine is kaput in your car. There's yeah, this is this is a tight one It's definitely worse than just running out of gas in the middle of nowhere for sure compared to the long-term Effects of your car engine breaking down. Let's assume that it's under warranty. Let's just assume it's still gonna cost money No matter what but let's assume at least it was a Manufacturer defect and it's not like a catastrophic just out-of-pocket expense because that's a big gap. I'm giving way That's for your benefit. I'm saying it's under warranty to keep it close if I may like honestly

I protested a couple of the other ones that you gave to Bob, but this one I feel like he did a pretty good job That's pretty it's it's very it's very close So I'm thinking you'll have to pay for a hotel or rental- It's gonna cost money, no matter what. It's gonna cost money, because there's not gonna be a flight booked, but even if they rebook the flight, you probably gotta stay in Louisville, and then you gotta make the choice. They would eventually comp or reimburse something, probably.

It's a time thing. You lose money because your time is lost. And you don't usually fly for any random reason, you're usually flying for an important thing. You might lose out on an emotional thing, but maybe if it was desperate, you could get there. Like you would get a car, but it's like, it's definitely an inconvenience. This one's a tight, that's a, hmm. I think it threads it because it's not as bad. It's not as bad as your engine. I think this one,

I think this one's a clear cut in the middle. I think it's right in there I think he gets it. I'm really good at this guys. Hey the past two should have been mine this one Bob you earned That's a washer. It was a washer. It's not it's not a metal washer. What is that? Do you want me to show you what it is? It's a it's an Ono Scrollie. Oh, it's the new one they made But it's like it's like polished stainless steel it's meant for your mouth. No, it's not it tastes awful It tastes like weeks of my finger gunk all over it But I did that because I don't know why and then it made you guys freak out so much I felt like I just had to keep going came back and sat down. I was like, hey bob you like

And it just fell out. It was kind of unexpected I will say it's curved and this part this bottom part is very pleasant to like have on your tongue in your mouth It's why I did that initially, but I acknowledge It's a pretty fucking weird thing to do and it's fine if if everyone out there is judging me No, no, I might have to take away the mystery mystery point at this point, but we'll see all right Bob name something worse than Finding a leak in your home that has caused some damage. Wow, I'm really actually kind of blanking. Okay, you finally got tickets to go see Hamilton, even though that's not a cool reference anymore.

It's in another city, it's a big deal, it's like the touring Broadway production, it's very expensive. But you got tickets, you're gonna get a hotel, you're gonna go to drive over, you're gonna see... And you do all this, you spend all this money, you get so hyped, you've been trying to see Hamilton for like three years, you go and you get to the theater and right as the house lights are about to come down, the announcer is like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, the exits are located at the front of the theater just in case there will be lights.

Also just wanna let you know, the actor who normally plays Alexander Hamilton in our production has come down sick and the role will be played tonight by Rick Moranis What a stray he just caught That man sit at home watching distract him on he's like, oh I aimed right at Rick Moranis and pulled the trigger But look, I love the man. He's funny. He cannot play Alexander Hamilton in Glenn Manuel Miranda's Hamilton. I don't know. He might maybe maybe, you know, the way you're saying Rick Moran is playing as Hamilton is worse than water damage in your house and all the money and all the planning and years

of being excited for this. It's not even the person who plays like the understudy. It's just Rick Moran. He's just he was in town and they were like, Oh, people will love that, he's hilarious. This is a comedy show, right? I think Rick Moranis, even at the age of 70, that he is right now, would crush it as Alexander Hamilton. I bet. You know what, Wade? You're in luck.

I'm rejecting Bob's premise. I'm gonna give you the point by default, Wade, because I can't- I will not stand for any Rick Moranis slander. Look, I'm not even saying the man can't do musicals. He's excellent in Little Shop of Horrors. He's fantastic. Then I think it would- I think that would be an incredible surprise. I feel like that would be, like, such a bone- depending. Okay, here's the thing, Bob. The reason I'm rejecting is because, for the right audience, that's the boon of the century. For the biggest Rick Moranis fan in the world, which might be me, it's the boon of the century. And I don't think it's worse than leak that has caused damage. That's what I get for being creative.

Hey, I enjoy your creativity. Just listen, Mark and I are really staunch defenders of Rick Moranis. You picked the wrong actor in the wrong neighborhood, mister. Sorry, sorry. I meant I meant walking Phoenix. Oh Yeah, fuck. All right. Let's be honest. He could probably do it. I meant John Cena John Cena will play Alexander Hamilton I would actually like Topher Topher from that 70s show will play Alexander Hamilton. What's his name? Topher Grace? No, where's the last name? See you could name anybody and I would my mind would be like well if he got the role

He's probably gonna surprise me right one of the Hemsworth's but not the main one. It will be playing Alexander Hamilton Yeah, you know he deserves a shot There's been overshadowed his whole life. Good for him. One of the other baldwins. One of the other baldwins. Not Alec. The other ones. Brian? I mean, yeah, they're capable actors too. Okay, I see what's going on. I didn't realize we had such baldwin stands. Well, one of them wasn't one of them the president in Independence Day, you know. Pretty good, right? Isn't that the guy?

Is that a baldwin? I don't think so. No! Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman. Yeah! Rearranged Pullman. What do you get? Bill Pullman is the Tom Riddle of the Alec Baldwin family. Alright, okay.

Wade, name something worse than being burgled in the middle of the night. Your house gets broken into. You are being burgled. I was gonna the night your house gets broken into you are being burgled I was gonna say being burgled I can't get that out of my head now. It's stuck Yeah, save that that might that might be the right answer Bob. It might it might thread it in my third Hold on to it. You're spoiling it So I'm assuming that they're not just like breaking in and stealing one thing like you got significantly robbed is my assumption It's like two people bang. You're there grab me. They're going for your computer your TV. They're going for it

I'm gonna say two weeks ago You had a birthday your college student and for your birthday your family got you like a brand new car and you go outside Your college dorm you go to get into your car and your car is just fucking destroyed Someone like either like wrecked into your car overnight something happened Your car is just sitting in the parking lot fucking the AI trash truck Mistook your car for a dumpster and the hooks went out went And shook everything inside out I guess depends on the value of the car versus the value of the burglaring right, but I think there's a norm there's an in

inherent fear element to being burgled There's like you see your car destroyed. That's like a loss as well It does take away the fear like I don't know if you can ever be comfortable in your house again when someone breaks in So I feel like my answer is not scary enough Bob. Do you want me to give him another chance to do this? I know I just disqualified yours. Oh, I scared him. I scared him by throwing out burglaring I'll get rid of burglaring and you can try again, Wade I won't use that as my answer. I know that was intimidating. Because like my initial thought, again, was too close.

It was like, well, the scarier thing is like, I don't know, walking home and being physically like threatened at gunpoint. But like that seems too close. That's the difficulty of this game. They're gonna get worse from here on out. So you have to go more extreme. Well, yeah, I just felt like it was too close to the same thing if you get robbed at gunpoint versus burgled right that was my initial thought was okay well being robbed at gunpoint then you're facing death right away all right you're giving a lot of options you get one second chance here by the grace of Bob 10 seconds on the clock shit being on a plane and like one of the engines fails and you don't know

if you're gonna make it back oh did you guys see that video from the internet of the engine cover? Just rip the engine cowling ripped off in flight and next to the guy he was like filming it out his window and he's like Oh Gustaf flight attendant or I don't know. Who do you call about that? I accept it and that's a gap Bob Can you thread between being burgled and you have lost the right to say burg-urgled, sir? Yeah, I gave up burg-urgled. And being on a flight and one of the engines literally fails, smoking, fireball, alarms start blaring. The masks haven't come down yet, but you are on the window seat, you see it.

You are a senior in college and it is the- it is nearing the end of the year. It's around the time where they start telling you like, oh, you got to order your robes for graduation. You got to you got to get your transcripts in order. You got to pay your fees, whatever. You got to make sure you're all settled and you go into the administration office and you're like, hey, I got this notice that I owe like a fee or something. I just want to make sure we're all good so I can graduate. And the person at the desk is like, oh, yeah, yeah, give me your like student ID number.

We'll look it up and they can them your student ID and they type it in and then desk is like, oh yeah, yeah, give me your like student ID number. We'll look it up and they, and you can them your student ID and they type it in and then they're like, oh, that's weird. There's no record. Are you sure you're enrolled? Are you at like a satellite campus? Or are you at the main campus? And you're there for hours.

And somehow all of your records of your years long college career that you're in and an enormous amount of debt to have gotten are disappeared and there's no resolution yet. Maybe the resolution is in two weeks they find the glitch in the system and they restore you but you are weeks from graduation and suddenly the university is like I don't have any records that you have earned any credits we don't have anything you have all these student loans you have a job who are expecting you to graduate lined up and this is now you're in this position

suddenly where the university is telling you you get nothing. You've done nothing, you don't earn a degree because they have no record of you having done anything for them. What a difficult thing to compare this to. Okay, so here's what I'm gonna say. I believe this situation, and I'm sure that it does happen, especially in the electronic era. But what I'll say is, given that you have been in college there is a paper trail probably of interactions with teachers You know Correspondence with things payments to if you were doing student loan payments at least from the government for the student loans to the college campus

So I would believe that situation would be resolved. It would be scary, but it's not quite fear of death scary, which brings it before the plane thing, but it's not quite burgled scary, where it's like there is someone actively stealing from you in that moment. It's definitely a- it sucks, and especially that early in life, you're like, oh, is all this work going to pass? But I would believe that would be resolved with minimal lust. You may miss graduation because of it, and that would suck, absolutely. And maybe you have to wait a year.

It's iffy, but most likely, especially nowadays, you could take it to social media and be like, hey, fuck me over. I feel like it doesn't quite thread the needle. It's really close, not quite being burgled bad because that could go worse. So I'm gonna give the point away. Just like, I will say, Bob, I gotta throw this out there,

but I envy your creativity on these things. Like when we did the chess episode and this one, your ability to just like think way outside the fucking box is something I envy. I, my brain goes from like, what's worse than being burgled? Being burgled twice. All right, Bob, I'm giving you half a point for creativity. You can thank Wade.

Wade, there's an asteroid coming to Earth that has the potential for mass extinction. It's definitely gonna kill a lot of people. Name something worse than that. Umm... Two asteroids. Hahaha! Two Earths! There has been some kind of catastrophic, uh, event that has disabled a lot of our defense systems globally,

and nuclear war is happening. The missiles are in the air, and we can't just laser them out of the sky. There will be impact. All right, that's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. I feel like that's worse because it's the human implication. It's like, oh, we did this to ourselves, ah!

Bob, what's in between that? Can I steal a movie plot? Absolutely. Wade does it all the time. I make my career. Ah Bob, what's in between that? Can I steal a movie plot? Absolutely Wade does it all the time. I make my career Bruce Willis and his band of oil rig manning drillmasters the world's last hope they fly up at a crazy futuristic looking space shuttle to meet the giant Asteroid that is hurtling towards earth in order to drill deep into it, to then lower nuclear weapons into it, to split it in half so that it doesn't impact with Earth and the two halves go around Earth. And there are mishaps, it's not what they expected, the metal of the asteroid is even denser than the scans told them, and Bruce Willis sacrifices

himself to stay behind while the rest of the team leaves in the shuttle to finish drilling the hole as best he can. It won't go all the way down but it goes as far as he can. He lowers the nuke and he sets the detonation timer and as Bruce Willis sits on the asteroid that Aerosmith song plays but I would stay awake just to hear you breathing. And then the nuke detonates and Bruce Willis is sad and his Liv Tyler back on earth is extra sad because she's Bruce Willis' daughter. Spoilers. And half of the asteroid misses earth, but then the other half hits earth.

Why? Why can you give the whole plot and it's fun, but you say Liv Tyler's Bruce Willis's daughter spoilers. Cause it's funny, I don't know. Whatever that's revealed in the first five minutes. I was going for laughs. I don't know if you caught onto that. It was funny.

Yeah, well that's the idea. Anyway, half of the asteroid is exploded away and misses, but the other smaller half still impacts Earth. It does not wipe out humanity completely, but obviously that's a huge worldwide event. Isn't that Mark's scenario, just with a lot of pretense? I had written down, because I thought I knew where you were going with this, and I was prepared to give you the point because I had written down two asteroids because I thought that's where you were going. It splits in half and then two hit Earth.

And I would have given you the point, but you said one misses. So I gotta scratch that out, and I'm giving it to Wade because I feel like that's still the same. In fact, there was a little bit of hope like, oh, it's not as bad. It went from certain doom to kind of doom. There was a little bit of hope that was taken away. And then there is humanity that persists in a world that is devastated. Well, the world was gonna be devastated anyway.

That's, that's what I'm saying. It's the opening scenario. Oh, you went through all that circus to get back to the premise and you actually added some hope. So you made it not as bad as that Wade gets the point. Wooo nuclear war. If you had had two asteroids hit you were right there Well, I had to be I think that's what actually does happen in the movie doesn't it? Well, yeah, they then they then drive

No, they drive the shuttle into the other bigger chunk with all the nukes and they go like And then boom or maybe that was the other asteroid movie. I don't even know yeah No, there's there's deep impact, and then there's what's the Bruce Willis what's called space cowboys or something? I don't know you mean Armageddon Armageddon Armageddon yes Bob name something worse than the universe's expansion suddenly accelerates exponentially tearing apart galaxy stars planets and eventually the very fabric of space-time itself. Something worse than that. Okay. Two universes.

No, I, um, no, I'm not gonna go with that one. Worse than that, um... Damn, I had my 1.5 universes ready. This is gonna get a little, a little pseudoscience-y. And by which I mean by 1.5 universe is ready. This is gonna get a little a little Pseudo-sciencey and by which I mean scientifically inaccurate. There's an episode of the show. I what's that Seth MacFarlane? Space it's like Star Trek, but it's funny Seth MacFarlane. What's that called? Oh, yeah, I don't I don't remember but I know you talk about Space space family guy the Orville. The Orville. Is that sort of the Orville where they find an anomaly in space where they can go into it

and it reduces space to two dimensions in a way that's confusing and hard to conceptualize? But basically that happens to the entire universe. Scientists are experimenting with like the Large Hadron Collider or something. They do something that creates some sort of crazy-ass anomaly that reduces our universe spatially from three dimensions down to two dimensions. Somehow life persists. This is not an instant death to anything that was previously three

dimensional, but it's like a weird, hard to even conceptualize change in the existence, the fabric of existence as we know and understand it. Yeah, I don't know if that's the worst of everything ripping apart though. It's- it's bad, but you said life goes on, right? Yeah, you have to- now we live in a two-dimensional world that we can't even comprehend. Oh, like we're in a hell, like kind of a hellscape. Now suddenly you're in like a two dimensional, like flat land type thing where it's like you're all still alive but nothing is, you don't understand anything. You're essentially like cavemen over again, right? Because technology is meaningless. Everything we've ever known or thought about has been in three dimensions.

Now we live in, technically four dimensions, but now we live in two dimensions physically still with time. Okay, alright. but existence continues the world the universe is not ending space-time is not tearing apart. This is just the new reality Right, okay, that would be probably pretty horrible Is that worse than the one's just be an end like one is like the whole universe ending But this is like the universe carries on but in a way that our minds were never equipped to comprehend and then we're somehow still Persisting that sounds like a pretty hellish... I think eternal... like maybe not even eternal suffering but if the

universe were to end with a big rip it wouldn't be any different than a like us blowing up. We'd just BAAH and gone. But that's not good. My turn? Yeah! Good luck. Alright, so there's different pockets of existence that go between three-dimensional and two-dimensional. You never know when you're going to end up in one versus the other. One minute you're walking like down the sidewalk in your two-dimensional existence and all of a sudden the sidewalk expands. There's other ways to look and go only for a moment just to be sucked right back into

the two dimensional It can you go from two to three? Yes, but not like you can't intentionally do it You never know when it's gonna crop up I feel like that's just my scenario But with an addition of hope that maybe scientists will figure out how to control the transition between two and three dimensions Well, I'm basing mine on the show the Orville. And in the show The Orville, the scientists figure out a force field which allows them to remain in three-dimensional space while they go through the anomaly which is in two dimensions. I've never seen this show. I feel like I got cheated here.

It's really good. It's very, it's very- I've heard only good things about it. It's worth watching. Is there any lasting effects from going from 3D to 2D to back besides psychological? Oh, probably. Yeah, it can't be good for your body to be ripped, compressed, ripped, compressed. So in the long run, yeah. Life spans are be significantly shortened, uh, quality of life. You never really know. I guess when you go back to three dimensional, there's a lot more ramifications and you're compressed to two dimensional.

It's like you have less to worry about, but all of a sudden the expansion of three dimensional, you see all the issues that have happened when you've been compressed and expanded. Cause that's probably how that works. Yeah. Well, probably. Now Bob, tell them how my answer is good. So my, my, I'm very, I'm kind of hard to judge because I'm like, okay, is that worse than just a complete end of the universe? Because that is pretty bad. Flipping back and forth and shorten lifespans. Honestly, doesn't even sound as bad as that. Just always being stuck in two-dimensionals. Yeah, but I accepted Bob to be like perpetually in 2D.

Okay, I could accept that that hellscape, I don't think it threads the needle. Sure, what we've got now versus Bob's scenario being in the middle of that is definitely not in the middle of that, I would agree. Yeah, yeah, what, no? So I don't deny that your scenario is not as bad as his scenario, but I'm like, is it worse?

It has to be in the middle, so is that worse than the universe being destroyed? That's what I'm asking. Is his worse than the universe being destroyed? The way he argued it, I think so, because you're perpetually stuck in a new form where you are basically suffering and because- I imagine, so look, I did this as a bit, right? But if I'm really thinking about it, I would imagine the process of having your body go through whatever it goes through to switch dimensional constraints like that would not be

pleasant. If you just do it once and you're stuck there, like you're stuck there, if you're constantly going back and forth and you never know when it's going to happen, that would be pretty fucking awful. How often though? Well, that is a legitimate question. How often? I would say in order for the scenario to make sense, it would have to be, you wouldn't know. It could be every few seconds.

You could have like an hour. You could even maybe have a day in one. I think you just legitimately would not know. It's not going to be predictable. You walk in like, yeah, three of you walk in at once, but then like an hour you could even maybe have a day in one like I think you just legitimately would not know It's not gonna be predictable you walk in like yeah three of you walk in at once But then like one of you might get sucked out or change because these things aren't static. They're moving It's like someone's blowing bubbles of three-dimensional around your 2d scape And you never know one of these bubbles is gonna pass through you might pass through them. Okay. Okay. All right, okay So yeah, there's there's the unpredictability. It's like chaotic

It definitely would excruciating pain to go between right? Absolutely I'm not denying that but again then again like any any kind of rule you apply to the 2d It kind of applies to Bob as well because if it's excruciating pain to go in I'm like does that pain ever end when you're in? There perpetually and then everything in there. Oh, I see. So you're saying mine might be even worse than Bob's? That's kind of where I was, honestly. I was unsure if yours was worse or mine was worse in this scenario was what I've been thinking about. That is I guess that's a good question, because mine would have the pain

of transitioning a lot, but you would get moments of experiencing like normal. What we consider normal existence again. I guess maybe I have to know this one, because more I think about it the more I'm like the universe ending still is might be worse like maybe maybe the premise itself was never over the threshold that it needed to be so I kind of got to call this one a no no point no points here. I do want to kind of see that episode of the Orville and or like a movie or something that takes place with something like this happening now though. Subreddit you have homework go watch that episode of the Orville and or like a movie or something that takes place with something like this happening now though subreddit

You have homework go watch that episode of the Orville And then tell us where the point should go because that will give you the answer And then we won't do anything with it because I'm gonna end the episode and calculate the points And I don't want to be pedantic, but if your conclusion is that my original Submission was actually not worse than your prompt based on what you did previously, Wade gets the point. Oh, is that what I did? Cause you gave me the point on the one that Wade did.

I think it's like, cause I'm at fault for doing it. I don't think I can punish you for accepting it. Well, do you want to give me a do over like we did the other time with Wade? We can, I've got more more I could give a different one I would say let's do a different prompt because I think we've kind of thought through this one enough where I think would be More fun to do a different one. We solved it. Here's one that kind of takes a step back sudden collapse of all satellite networks Distruping global communications weather forecasting navigation systems the big thing that happens where it's like a chain event of all the things

You know gravity that happens all satellites space, kind of fucked for a very long time. Okay, so like physics changes is what you're saying. No, no, no. This is the satellites break. Like there's like a solar ejection or something, a curl or whatever. Or there's like a piece of space debris. It hits one satellite. That satellite breaks into a thousand pieces. Oh, OK. I thought you're saying gravity of the Earth changed,

therefore fucked all of our systems because it itself. OK, You're just saying like our ability to monitor is gone, right? Yeah, I said sudden collapse of all satellite networks disrupting global communications weather forecasting and navigation system That's what I said. Okay, then you mentioned gravity something you were saying due to okay. I got you I didn't I didn't say gravity at all. I said the movie the movie gravity Oh, I missed the movie reference I just heard the gravity part. Okay. You know what? This is a movie plot. I'm just gonna go with it Awesome. It's it's not even a good movie, but boy was it expensive Basically the plot of water world happens to earth all all of the surface ice on the poles and everywhere melts

Enough water is freed up into the oceans where the whole planet just becomes a giant ocean ball. And so there's no land, it becomes a floating civilization type deal. So even though we had satellites and stuff theoretically in this world, like how do you generate electricity? How do you have static networks of things? All of this stuff. Civilization is uprooted completely because the earth is now only covered in water and it's mostly ocean water. I don't know what the science is on this but let's say all the water is

salinated. So it's not like it's drinkable fresh water, it's salt water. You have to desalinate in order to have drinkable water for human life Okay, it's also the plot of raft so you know but it definitely would be worse than just satellites going down This is a fundamental societal life change. We may not even survive it. It's it's there are still islands in raft Fuck that no islands at all in this yeah It's even Everest is underwater actually Everest is right where the waves go so sometimes the waves come down It's like Everest is just a big Jagged rock that you can crash your ship on so don't hit Everest is there no land in water world

I thought eventually there was we're going worse. We're saying there's no land is there land eventually in water world I thought I've not seen this as I was single digits. I don't remember yeah I haven't seen it since like the 90s all right wait thread that needle all satellites going kaboom or water for everywhere Being among the first people colonizing a new planet. So we don't have working functional. That's a really Wait, so is this like I guess they're not that different. Yeah. No, that's a bad question I was gonna ask if this is like Firefly or more like like outer outer worlds I think this is very realistic expectation like the first people who go to colonize say Mars They're gonna have a pretty fucking terrible life. It's gonna be awful

Yeah, cuz they're not gonna have like the satellite network and stuff like that But it's also there's hope unlike the water world where it's like our land is gone. Yeah in this case We're trying and probably can eventually make it habitable, whatever. The initial steps of being there and having like, you know, your one outpost, limited oxygen and all that stuff and it'd be kind of awful for a while but it'll slowly, I guess in theory, get better depending on drawbacks, aliens, whatever. Yeah, if we lose all the satellites that would be very bad but I feel like this on a personal level if we're looking at how it affects one person being the person to go out there on their yeah if we're looking at from that lens on a global level it's pretty bad but humanity did live for a while without satellites so I

think I'm assuming the the reality is that it would not be people who would necessarily want this but like there is a part of me that's like isn't that what humanity does? Isn't there a part of humanity who would be like, yeah, I want to colonize Mars. Oh, I want to do that. I want to do that. Absolutely. I don't give a shit if it's the hardest existence a human could have. I want to go be in the wild west. I want to go do that. I'm one of them. I'm one of the peoples. It's not universally bad, even though it's objectively bad But like people would want that some people wouldn't want that. I think we romanticize it in our minds I think in actuality going like going to other land would suck But at least we have some familiar like there are trees there are fish there are animals to know if you were on Mars

You have like so that you really don't know what the fuck you're going to do You're gonna die on Mars if you go to Mars You're dying on Mars is the way it goes and probably not in a fun way So I think it's worse than just like making a new colony on earth in theory, right? I guess who knows what we could bring. Maybe we bring a whole biome with us the brothers like trees and shit I don't know just in my brain. That's worse than losing satellites, but not as bad as the catastrophic failure of like water world I definitely think it's it's a good suggestion But here's the reason I'm I don't think I can give it because all the satellites going out affects

Everyone on earth in a not maybe as personally bad way, but it's like on the quantity of bad It's very bad because it sets humanity back a bit if you're going to Mars colonize Your life is gonna be hellish. Every day's work, social is gonna suck. You're probably gonna die from either the elements, radiation, or air running out. Death is all around you, sure. Personally, individually, much worse. Globally, the maximum amount of suffering, I don't think it's as bad because even the premise is still a little bit hopeful. It's like a moving the needle forward. I suppose that's true. I guess it does depend what lens you look through.

I was thinking about an individual lens, but... And that's why I'm saying like, you're right in terms of how it affects the individual, but because of the macroscopic lens that the original premise has, I have to give the point to Bob. I can see the argument because this does depend on what lens you look through. So! That wraps this long episode, but I think it was fun Well done everybody I don't even know if that was like a game breaking point here because I lost track of everything so I'm gonna go through Oh god, no Bob crushed me like 50 to 2. I don't think so. Maybe you got you did have deductions So, let's see you got minus one for bad guess minus one for hit again. Not sure. Oh hit me

Point a real stinker. You got an honesty point, so you got that. You got one for Stokeholms, that's how I wrote it. Minus one for going down the path, but an immediate plus one for impressive unwashed asshole. I gave you half a point for doing assist, and I'll get back to why soon. One point for effort? Oh God! Um, minus one for bitch boy, and there's a sad face by that one. You got a point for toe, phone, Rick Moranis, burgled, and nuke. So I'll count that afterwards.

Bob, you got a burn point. That was great. You got a gold point. You got a doing point. So the reason I gave Wade a doing assist is because it was his story, but you came up with the vi- you brought in the video where it went doing off to the side But I thought it was unfair just to give you that point when it was Wade who was in the video So I don't remember this conversation, but I appreciate the point. I gave you paper bathroom the mystery point which I Deducted because the mystery was not I deducted it because the mystery got revealed Seatbelt hell bird poop reroute

Creativity point half a point. I feel like one of these lists is a lot longer than the other and water world Yeah, yours is a lot longer mine was he read yours for like a couple minutes He just read through most of mine all in one go, but I have to I have to tabulate So that's minus one minus one one one zero one zero zero Half of miners zeros or negatives Bob. It's not looking good six and a half Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a close one. It's gonna be a close one Bob one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven Man those deductions really got you Wade. It was so close Wade if all these okay I had like three deductions, so I would have still only had nine and a half? Man, those deductions really got you Wade. It was so close Wade, if only-

Okay, I had like three deductions, so I would've still only had nine and a half I think, right? You had four deductions. I still would've lost by one. It would've been close. That was the game winning point, if it wasn't the deductions. Congratulations Bob! Oh, I definitely should've won the last one then, I was definitely correct with Mars. Give me Mars! Uh, no no no no no. Alright, well congratulations Bob, that was a hard fought battle.

Uh, you won it by not doing anything to antagonize me. And I appreciate that. Except for the mystery, like, you got that deduction, so. You gotta do better, Bob. I tried. I'll put other stuff in my mouth. Alright, Bob. That was a fun game. I would do that for hours, because it's fun to just imagine bullshit scenarios that don't mean anything. But, uh, you know what? It was a good fight, Wade. I don't think the points accurately reflect

how close the battle was. And big respect. Unfortunately, respect doesn't win you games. Well, it would have if you'd respected me. No, I still would have lost. If you could respect Mark for five seconds, you would have really saved yourself some points. But anyway, congratulations to me. Thank you. Wade! I wanted this loss. I'm glad to lose.

I didn't even have an idea for the last episode I hosted because I didn't know I was hosting it. So you know what? I'm fucking glad it's not my responsibility to think of something next time because you guys are just wasting my fucking time with your big small talk. And I'd have 10 minutes to do my topic It would be a bunch of bullshit I'm glad the pressures on you and I hope we small talk all of you to death and I'm not bitter You are what was your topic last time? I don't know

Curses witches I think oh, that's right. You're cursed. That's okay We all feel cursed and you're cursed for listening to this apparently no that was the last episode the curse has been broken Thank you for listening to this apparently. No, that was the last episode. The curse has been broken. Thank you for listening to this podcast. Be sure to follow by hitting whatever button is nearest you at this immediate moment. As long as it's not the self-destruct button. Press every any button. Whatever's closest will make sure that you will always know when we have new episodes and will ensure the longevity and success of this podcast.

We will literally quit if you don't spread the word. We will quit. Wait, not the mute button. Mute us. Pfft. Hahahaha. Eh, maybe our demise is greatly earned. But thank you, uh, boys for competing. Uh, appreciate that. Uh, uh, merch!

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