Distractible - Before We Die

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

The boys play Hot or Not: Bucket List Edition, plus share some of their personal Bucket List items. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle Lickaner, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production. This week, Bob attempts to elicit a rim job from the narrator, but nobody saw him coming. The gents doggedly discuss dodging recommendations while Alexa gains necromantic abilities. Bucket lists, the bouquet and body of harvest in minor fecal matter, personal development, play buttons, and learning Korean all make the bill. Yes, it's time for Before We Die. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, gentle listeners, and welcome back to another episode of Distractable.

I don't know why I decided to go with that tone of voice, but I did it, and I'm not doing another take. My name is Bob. I will be your host for today, and I'm joined, as per usual, by the men who will be my two contestants, Mark and Wade. Hello. I'm one of those. You know, speaking of not doing other takes, it sounds like Baldemort didn't know their take either.

I can't believe he said all those things. I can't. What? What? Didn't you guys listen to Baldemort talking about this episode he records those after we we will have done this he doesn't do that before yeah it's not like he does the intro then just sits silently as the fourth person in the discord which we still don't know who it is yeah oh what the hell did i just listen to we just know definitively it's not him. Yeah. Okay, well I'll pretend I don't

know what happens this episode, then let's go on. Do you know what's happening in this episode? Uh, yeah. So do you know who wins, I guess? No. Because if you could tell me, I would be informative. Oh man, I could shape the future right now, but by the sound of it, I didn't interfere, so I can't interfere. So

no, I don't know. Okay. I'm confused. is that the topic of the episode is it being confused uh well traditionally the host gets to pick the topic and that's yeah that's not the topic bob picks the topic not technically what i had in mind yeah wait do you know the future only from baltimore i mean now i just have more questions about why he knows what he knows i guess if anything he must be listening. Yeah. I, that's... He must have listened. I don't know.

To the future? Unless he listened to it in the past. Is that why he's here? He has already had listened? Yeah. Huh? So he hears the future. I don't know, but I'm great.

Thanks for asking. Well, Voldemort, I bet you didn't see this coming. The way this podcast works is I'm the host and the guys compete and I pick a winner. And the winner of today's podcast hosts the next episode. We never explain how the show works anymore. There's no way he saw that coming. Yeah. Maybe we should pull up the old doc with the actual written out intro.

Didn't we have that? Somewhere, yeah. We did have a written out intro. Where would that be? I couldn't even guess. have that yeah somewhere yeah we did have a written out intro where would that be i have couldn't even guess i think it's on my google docs down here ah no that's go that's not this one no no no oh god I think Mark broke. Jesus Christ. I found an intro.

Uh-huh, yeah. Hello, and welcome to the Distractible Podcast. Here we discuss anything that interests us and compete to see who can bring the most captivating stories to the table. Whoever brings the most dazzling story as judged by me will be declared the winner of the podcast, will earn the right to host next week's episode, and play the role of judge. Wow. Wow, yuck. Ah, I have more written out here for the first one in accordance with my incredible nigh on unbelievable absolute crushing victory on the last week's podcast i am

the host for today and will judge the worthiness of my fellow podcasters story oh man i'm joined but i wrote out everything good god what if we do an episode not this episode because bob gets to host whatever he wants but what if i fully scripted episode that is fully scripted or where we just react to our old episodes oh that's the cool thing to do these days react channels are what's up man original is out react is in you right you let the ai make the content and then you let the humans react to the content that's the future of that's the future we find or other people have reacted to our podcast and we react to their reactions that fucking bo burnham sketch from inside hell yeah that did

make me laugh in a very cringy i hate myself sort of way i never saw inside but i heard there was a song yes at least one song yeah you guys know i don't ever know anything it's really funny why would you not have watched it it's not like oh i watched this to be aware of it wait i haven't watched it either what i'm sorry when people like things and everyone gets excited about something especially another content creator i avoid it like the plague it's honestly just really funny but i think it would be interesting neither of you having watched it to hear your reaction to it now because it captures a very like trapped in the pandemic sort of mood it's a very strong like mood vibe strong emotions for me watching it during like i watched it right soon after it came out manny and i watched it it was right in the thick of

like everyone's still locked down the pandemic is still very much being acknowledged because it's still happening regardless of the fact that no one seems to give a shit anymore yeah it would be interesting because if you watch it now you might be like oh this is weird and cringy but it is honestly just really funny that's what i've heard about it it's worth watching i'm less antagonistic as w, apparently, in terms of recommendations. Oh, I'm a villain. I don't know why, but... Hey, all your friends like this thing. I will never. Hey, Wade, I know you like action movies and sci-fi.

I think you'd really enjoy this new show that's coming out. Fuck you! You tell me what I like. Oh, yeah, that sounds nice. Get out of here. I like things that are somewhat ignored, overlooked, and unpopular, like myself. Is that why you're such a big go on Dragon Ball Z fan. Yeah, no one likes that that why you played so many hours of raid shadow legends

I quit mobile games remember. Well, you're like the mobile game hipster. You're like, oh, yeah, I play scotchy game Oh, really? What you haven't heard of it? There's no way you've heard of this one. It's called... I don't play anymore. I've quit. I've retired. It's called Raid. Shadow of the Gains. You wouldn't know. It's called the Shadows of Raid. That does sound enticing now that you mention it, though. You wouldn't understand.

Anyway, that's not the topic. And if Baltimore thinks he's so smart, then he can come and lick my ass. All right. No offense, Baltimore. Please keep doing our intro. I'm sorry. the topic and if baldermore thinks he's so smart that he can come and lick my ass all right um no no offense baldermore please keep doing our intro i'm sorry you just hear heavy footsteps and a slurping sound coming from outside your door a nice little spray bottle as he moistens his tongue hello gentle lickin her yeahucky. I felt yucky saying it. By hardly even nokin' her.

Jesus. We should move on. No one laughed about that last time I heard it either. Oh, wow. Wow. Well, do you guys have any small talk? Yes! Okay.

It might be the same thing I have, but go ahead, Mark. Wait, what do you have? What in your life is... Mine's about space. Oh, that's good. Go ahead. I mean, you go first. I was just thinking you might, but go ahead, Mark. Wait, what do you have? What in your life is you? Mine's about space. Oh, that's good. Go ahead. I mean, you go first. I was just thinking you might. Oh, yeah, the wrong telescope, right?

Again? What? The wrong telescope. Oh, God, you're right. That's right. You refuse to know anything about anything. I forget. No, but you got ripped apart last time because you said the wrong telescope name.

Listen, we try and not really try very hard at all to not date these episodes but the first images from the james webb space telescope came out and they look cool they're so cool i saw them and they do look cool i'm i'm in for once i'm in the in crowd for once that's so refreshing wade yeah i'm refreshed it's really really neat i i looked at the picture before i read any of the description and I was just like staring at it. And I saw like the curved, like the lensing of some of the galaxies. I'm like, what's going on here? Is this like a mega black hole or something?

But it's actually like the sheer mass of some of those galaxies in the distance away is causing the light to warp through its own gravity. It's like, oh, it's just nuts. Gravit gravitational lensing yes yes yes it was it was really cool to look at even for someone that's not like as into space it was really cool really pretty what a pity what a pity what from your song it's your own song you can't throw in a rhymey words oh i see what you're going from in space right it's so pretty space was so cool and so pretty what a pity i was being clever oh okay i see i get you everyone give him his clever points is that like a markiplier reference no it's in space who's in space i can't watch markiplier he's he's too

popular i get you thank you thank you those are nice. That feels good. Anyone that trends occasionally on social media, I cannot stand. Occasionally. Well, you must love me. Yeah, you're my favorite. I've never trended a day in my life. We are my favorite. Go team. Anyway, yeah.

What was your thing, Mark? I have numerous things. Oh. Hold on. I had them here. I was getting a video up because I haven't done it. Hold on. Stall. Stall. Stall. Stall. things oh hold on i had them here i was uh getting a video up because i haven't done it um hold on stall stall stall i've got no small talk with which to stall thanks for asking uh mark what's

yours news bulletin i turned around and when i turned around i saw that someone else had turned around turned around and then i had turned around and when i turned around she had turned around turned around and then i had turned around and when i turned around she had turned around amazon's alexa could soon mimic voice of dead relatives oh yeah i saw that wait do they have to have been recorded or could it just remember my grandma from 20 years ago don't worry it will listen to you on your amazon account and remember you. Yes. In all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if this is actually how it's worked, because Amazon has been reported to record your conversations even without your permission. This is true.

That's a fact. It doesn't matter if they may or may not do it to this point. They did it in the past. They'll do it again. Yay. But now it's even better because it knows when your relatives die, and it can comfort you with their own voice emitting from the smart speaker inside your house. It's me, Mark. It's daddy.

I'm dead. You lost me. If you're mourning, don't worry. I'm dead. Couldn't be better. It's your deceased parents voice, but they're aware. They're like living in current times and they're like, oh, I'm sorry I died. It's okay though because I'm here now like what maybe you'd like to shop on amazon mark buy yourself

something to feel better and you know you can get more with prime is that really what you want dad oh yes shop a lot oh honey i know these cookies were your favorite maybe granny will just add some to your cards do you stay old when you're dead oh yeah well you know it's the list yeah yeah yeah obviously what do you mean you got a question is that that's the worst feature that's so sad i don't want that you just continue to age no no it gets better because rohit prasad senior vice president head scientist for alexa said at the event wednesday whatever event that was that the desire behind the feature was to build greater trust in the interactions user have with Alexa okay all right god I just love that idea so much it's killing me yeah I don't mean this in a gross way but remember whenever we were doing the three pins and we were

talking about the sex doll website where they were making like individual porn star dolls why are you doing this to us could I get a programmable daddy doll that has my dad's voice i don't really care about the anatomy of it but i just want to look and talk to my dad again could i i'm sad that i knew exactly what you were going to say from the first half sentence and also sad that that's a thing i believe you want sincerely and not even in a joking way i don't think i do i don't think i would buy my dad anyway continue my wife and kids i could have them back i wasn't done he's not even done i'm not even done yeah continuing greater trust in the interactions user have with alexa by putting more quote human attributes of empathy and affect not effect affect these attributes have become even

more important during the ongoing pandemic when so many of us have lost loved ones or lost ones that we love while ai can't eliminate the pain of loss it can definitely make their memories last end quote every time you click confirm payment i love you son yeah yeah so so so there's one more that makes it even worse in a video played by amazon at the event a young child asks alexa can grandma finish reading me the wizard of oz if you buy it alexa then acknowledges the request and switches to another voice mimicking the child's grandmother.

No. You need to move on and get through life and go through the grieving process. Well, let's halt you right at stage one. In the future, grief will only have a single stage. Never letting go. Ah, introducing Grief Prime. single stage never letting go ah introducing grief prime

grief prime has really changed my life mom dot and dad dot like to fight sometimes but i just unplug mom and then everything's fine yeah you know those trucks you're riding behind and they say there's a lot more to prime it's like there's a lot more to grief a truckload more let amazon walk you through god the more expensive the item you add to the cart the more sweltering pride you hear from your loved one it's true having that heartfelt conversation where my dad tells me how proud he is of me while i can hear the tears swelling because I added that $2,000 item. So worth it. So worth it.

This is just one of those things that strikes me as like the worst, you know, inside the company at the beginning, someone had to be like, guys, this is fucked up. I don't know. Like in probably more than one person was like, oh, I don't know. I know we're just researching and this seems weird. And at some point, like some leader, some higher up corporate person was like, no, this is a great idea. And anyone who wasn't on board with that was just like kicked off the project.

Yeah. That's why they're hiring to the point now where they're like, this is the future of family. You can live forever. And inside the company is like that. But who outside of that group who's trying to promote this, what person is looking at this and being like, wow, technology. Soulless corporate sellouts.

This is just awful in every way I could imagine. Yeah. Wade, have you heard the inside song? Come on, Jeffreyrey you can do it pave the way put your back into it show us how you you ever heard that one look at where you came from look at you now i just heard a couple lines of it just now but that's it it's about jeff bezos you know jeff bezos is let me google inside of jeffrey and see if i get it yeah that'll probably gets you there what's the guy's name

bob burn bow burn bob robert burnham yes robert burnham esquire that's actually a really good like professional name robert burnham electricians roberto baronium oh is this the jeffrey bezos song that is what i said yes yeah i'm reading the lyrics right now okay that really gets the whole message across oh i did hear this one molly played this one for me yeah okay good good good well i'm glad we got to that good i have one more story if you guys would like it is it about the same thing or is it something else? No, it's fun. Oh, thank God. It's fun. Hooray! It's fun. Alright, fecal microbacteria. Oh, sorry, fecal microbiota transfer between

young and aged mice reverses hallmarks of the aging gut, eye, and brain. Alright! Is this one where they had the two twin mice that looked very different in aging process? Probably, yeah. I saw a picture of this. Old shit makes you young saw a picture of this old shit makes you young or vice versa young shit makes you young exactly so i just need to eat shit and i'll be young forever is that what you said yes no wait no eating it

would kind of destroy all those things that you're wanting from it inject shit you need to harvest feces from those younger than you and then insert it inside of yourself. So baby diaper value is skyrocketing. The under 25 toilet is more of a collection system, really. This is our future. Over 25,

you gotta pay to use a toilet. So there's like, what is it called? Does baby diapers have stem cell cure? Yeah, that's the ticket. Yeah, yeah. So there's like, what is it called? Does baby diapers have stem cell cure? Yeah. Yeah. That's the ticket. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Great. Does baby diaper have stem cell cure? I want that to be a trending Google search. That is such big. Does Bruno Mars is gay energy?

Does baby diapers has stem cells? And the answer is yes so why does poop from the young cure us old well i'll tell you well it's a long article but i'm trying to like get it down um this is how they did it okay so each mouse received 100 microliters of fecal slurry preparation at each i don't know what a gavage is but g-a-v-a-g-e whatever their gavage is they got that new perfume that johnny depp is selling the administration of food or drugs by force especially to an animal typically through a tube leading down the throat to the stomach there you go so it's like an ng tube yeah so they at pellet collection mice were separated into individual sterile boxes and two pellets collected before returning into the cage so what this

signifies is the microbiome in your gut we've long known is almost not even external bacteria it's kind of like human specific bacteria. And these things create some of the nutrients that our bodies cannot fabricate. We don't know like exactly the ramifications of all of the effects, but in modern society with medicine, we do have antibiotics, which is great because it helps us stay alive. It also creates superbugs. So that's a long-term problem, but it also kills your gut biome. So oftentimes after you get antibiotics, you'll need to be given probiotics so that you can reconstitute. But one of the quickest way to get the bacteria that a human needs is just taking it from someone else. And how do you do that? Their poop is full of it.

So there you go. I've known that a fecal transplant was like a thing. There's a disease you can get where basically your body loses the ability to regenerate its inner biome. And so you can get like a fecal transplant, like from a spouse or someone that you live with or whatever that's like in your life that shares, you know, exposures with you. That's like a treatment. That's been a thing. Is this going to become a thing where it's like you go to a clinic and you're like, yeah, Botox in my cheeks, a butt lift and one young fecal transplant please one young is it like a fast food menu

at the doctor's office give me that young shit in me can i get a bone transplant and a side of fecal oh my god supersize me uh this one is from a two-month-old baby ah good year good year good month good month i have a 2021 uh cabernet fecal a guy on the street like you want to buy a fecal this is very fresh from baby on streets of moscow yeah you got your poop sommelier oh Oh, this one's aged to perfection. Would you like to smell the cork? That would give such a whole new meaning to the idea of smug rich people having shit-eating grins. Wait, wait, wait, don't drink it yet. You have to let it sit.

Yes, let it breathe. Let it sit on your tongue. The tannin. And you want to sip air in with it to get the full bouquet. So where do we go to eat shit and stay young? I mean, you could technically speaking go get it yourself. I mean, but that takes work. I'm not going to go around and find young people be like can you shit for me

it's like the new version of eat pray love for middle-aged ladies you know you should stay young you should stay young I'm gonna hire a plumber to go to the schools and collect the clogged poop for me oh my god that's very fun anyway

weird what what you're saying is I mean no it makes sense but like it's weird that it de-ages the internals of the other mouse it's just surprising to me i guess i need a lot of shit because i look older than all of you guys i need some shit in my life i think it's because you only eat plain burgers well i'm gonna start eating shit that's the only option i think what it is it amounts to like, it's just overall is nutrients are essential for the body to rebuild itself, right?

So if you have a diverse gut microbiome, they can synthesize more of the things that you need that you may not be able to get from a very diverse diet. So it probably is less about de-aging and more about repairing systems that should have been repaired a long time ago, but your body did not have the right nutrients to do so. i am not an expert in this that is just my conjecture interesting i doubt the conclusion to pull from this is to go hunt down baby diapers and uh smear

it all over your body what you want to do is you go to the public park and you wait for a baby to need changing and then when they throw that away in the public trash can that's just up for grabs right there plus the great thing about really young babies is just their poop is basically liquid oh way easier to get in you good good i'm glad you're so excited about it good like those trucks that drive around whenever you put your garbage out and they collect things they think they might be able to get value out of or repurpose and you're just like no i need the diapers out of the can i know there's a family with two babies three doors

down their diapers are as good as my buffet it's gonna be the hot new jamba juice flavor uh give me the ultra blueberry and give me the uh nine to twelve month old add-in please yeah can i get the preschool blend can you give me uh just one scoop not two today i've anyway but up above the news is over all right well we're just starting this episode bob i hear you have a great topic. We are 25 minutes in, ladies and gentlemen. It's okay, because the topic for today... Getting older. Listen, let's just say, yeah, kind of, but not really.

I'm going to call today's topic Hot or Not Bucket List Edition. Okay. All right. So I want to talk about bucket lists. This is something I find very interesting because I mean, most people probably know, but a bucket list basically is like a list of stuff you want to do before you die, a.k.a. before you kick the bucket there's your bucket list there you go if you didn't know that one that's a freebie okay i don't have a lot of

bucket list stuff and i've always wondered if that was weird or if i'm just not very ambitious that i'm cool with you know i'm cool with dying without having experience i don't know so i don't know i i the number one thing on my bucket list is I'm excited. I want to see, I want to go to the Olympics someday. It's just like, it's such a thing. I want to go and see all the stadiums and, you know, it's probably not that exciting. It's not that exciting to go watch like a swim meet or, you know, gymnastics, but it is exciting because it's the Olympics, but all of it, the experience, I want to do that.

That's definitely a thing for me. And beyond that and some traveling, my bucket list is not like super detailed. Do you guys have ideas about this? Do you have a list written down somewhere in a shoebox? Where are you at with this? I could think of a few, but I'm more confused as why this is hot or not. Well, what I want to get to is there are a lot of ideas that I think are considered sort of ubiquitous bucket list ideas. And when we talk, once we're done talking about our own, I want to get to is there are a lot of ideas that I think are considered sort of ubiquitous bucket list ideas. And when we talk, once we're done talking about our own, I want to go through a list and decide if these bucket list ideas that people share publicly are hot or not.

Because I think a lot of the stuff that I hear about, I'm like, why would you want to do that? That sounds stupid. Gotcha. my bucket list thing that pops up in my mind is something i've been thinking about recently i want to go somewhere where the winter is extremely snowy and cold and harsh that's surrounded by like thick trees that i can chop down for firewood and i want to be snowed in and trapped for the entirety of winter and i have a food supply but it may not last me the entire winter. So like, I'm gonna... You got like freeze-dried food and stuff?

Yeah. Just come with me next time I visit Molly's family in Minnesota. Yeah, but I mean like away from everyone, like a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Like in the Canadian Rockies. Exactly, right? And I just want to be out there alone,

maybe pop like a satellite dish on the roof for some internet. But if not, that's also fine. I just want to be out there alone maybe pop like a satellite dish on the roof for some internet but if not that's also fine i just want to be out there alone and go insane we gotta get way ahead on podcast episodes if we're losing you for a year then jesus it's a winter yeah but if a winter up north could be wouldn't that be longer than like a normal like the further north you go isn't the longer the winter like the more stream intends it to be for a shorter amount of time than an entire year. Oh, okay. So he wants a convenient one-week winter, but a real extreme week.

I said normal winter is like three months. I believe I even said three months at some point. So you want like three days of winter. Okay, Mr. Spoiled. Why don't you just buy some winter, Mr. Bezos? Have it delivered to Caliie i kind of get that mark i'm just gonna ignore wade going forward i kind of get that okay that's i i've always had like mine's not that exact thing but the idea of like a very bushcrafty survivalist thing yeah i'm not

in a situation where it's actual life and death yeah i'm not that skilled of a person but a situation where it's like making my own fire using a you know fire fire steel and tinder and things and you know that sort of feeling of like isolation my own pond like that one guy who lived by the pond yeah that guy self-sufficiency and misogyny sorry wait a second that's not the that's not the i don't want to do that part he can keep that part all right yeah that's an interesting one it sounds nice in theory but i mean i don't know my bucket list i'd like to go to hawaii that's my bucket list and i grew up with a my grandparents had a cabin that was like right on lake cumberland down in kentucky

almost and we could go out on the pontoon and my grandpa we had like two rooms in the back that I grew up with a, my grandparents had a cabin that was like right on Lake Cumberland down in Kentucky almost. And we could go out on the pontoon. And my grandpa, we had like two rooms in the back that were air conditioned. The rest of the house was not air conditioned, including the room I stayed in. So we had like no air conditioning for a lot of it. We'd go out, live in the water. My grandpa was very hands-on. So we'd go work on the boat ourselves, work on the trucks and stuff ourselves.

And that was nice. That was handy. But I mean, I did appreciate the luxuries whenever I was allowed to like go cool off in the air conditioning or whenever i came back home and just had that normally and didn't have to go work on brakes and motors and things and i'm glad i did that stuff but i don't know that i would voluntarily want to live a long time without any luxuries or amenities i mean they are called those things for a reason what is this exactly you wish life was shittier so you appreciated the good parts more no like a vacation into this sort of deal the cabin in the woods where you had to like do everything by hand sounds not good to

me like you guys i'm glad you're saying that's why that doesn't appeal i thought you were describing no it does not appeal to me for that reason no it sounds kind of like what mark was saying having the ability to be able to do those things is nice but like oh that's fair like more than a week as i just had my power out for two days not that long two days is not that long but man sleeping without having like central air like heat or ac in extreme weather conditions where you're forced to like bundle up or whatever and you've got to go cut down trees in the freezing cold and risk frostbite that sounds awful to me but i mean you know more power to you that sounds awesome i don't know man i just want that that's fine you're welcome

to i just have you done anything like a small taste of something like that where you like no you could handle it no or you can be miserable after like a week nope and regret it have you ever been a little stranded nope all right well uh yeah like i said my bucket list pretty simple i'd like to go to hawaii i also don't have much on a bucket list bob i said you're only one all right honestly yeah and i had to work hard to come up with that i will say thinking about it and talking about the cabin and the lake and everything i do miss that like if i were to move i would love to be on the water or like real close to water where i could go out like on a boat i love being around water i love the sound of flowing water so being like on a lake or i don't

think i'm gonna be on the ocean but being like on a lake somewhere would be really cool probably really expensive but just having that option to go out on the water all the time that sounds really really nice that's something else i guess that and seeing hawaii but i mean i literally don't have we've got to do so much shit in the last 10 years between the tour and the different conventions and things uh I mean I've crossed stuff off of a bucket list I never even wrote and I say that to chat and stuff sometimes when I'm streaming but like it's true I I just never imagined I get to do so many cool things in life to where it's like I didn't make a crazy bucket list and I very much live life kind of day by day I think whenever you go through a lot, you don't look back or look forward too much. You more so you've got your your goals and things,

you know, you need to do. But it's like typically on a day's basis, I focus on that day and like, sure, maybe I've got a meeting set up for next week or something like that. But like, you just put that in your calendar and don't think about it. It's not like I'm spending a lot of time daydreaming or planning or whatever. I just kind of live today, get to tomorrow, live tomorrow, get to the next day. And I think that kind of a bucket list and that kind of dreamy thinking doesn't really apply to the way i'd live dreamy thinking this guy wants to go to hawaii it's kind of head in the clouds nonsense well that's just always something i've wanted to see it's not like i think about it very much it's like if i have to put something on my bucket list it's like well

i've always wanted to see hawaii in person so i guess that's there but it's not like I think about it very much. It's like if I have to put something on my bucket list, it's like, well, I've always wanted to see Hawaii in person. So I guess that's there. But it's not like I'm dying to go or anything. That's honestly kind of how I feel about it too, I guess. I've gotten to do a lot of stuff I would never have expected. And I feel like life is constantly filled. If you're lucky enough to have a good perspective on it, and it's not like life is torturing you, stuff is hard hard certainly been through times in life where i was stuck in the middle of something

that was difficult and i didn't like anything about it but like i get to do a lot of stuff in general that's kind of just wild and i wouldn't necessarily put it on a list but it's crazy experiences i feel like i've had a wide range of experiences it's hard to pick a bunch of stuff to put on the list that i feel like would be more interesting than what happens just because we get to do this podcast and all this stuff like wade was saying but if we don't get real about it part of that i think comes from trauma which is kind of sad to get sad for a moment but like growing up i remember thinking about how like i would imagine having like my parents and grandparents because i was really close with my grandparents especially like at different events in my life and it didn't work

out that way and it was kind of soul-crushing like you know I had a fantastic wedding but like I definitely felt a couple of empty seats that I wished had people there and so I remember as a kid thinking like oh man I can't wait for my dad and my grandma and grandpa to see me do this and get their law school and get this and get that and like not accomplishing those things not having people there for that i don't know i guess it's like i don't want to dream too big and then feel that soul crushing feeling again of like part of the dream not being the way i imagine it now or something i don't know maybe i'm getting too psychological about it but like that might be part of the reason why i don't have big bucket list too anyway fart joke uh, I'm not sad.

Yeah, no, I'm not either. God, soul crushing despair over here. This guy. I mean, bucket list, you're already gonna die. Why you gonna bring down the moon? Yeah, this is lighthearted. At least Amazon will always preserve me

and my family. Make sure you go shop on Prime Day. Yeah. Which already happened or whatever. So would you say yours is short, Mark? Are you low on bucket list stuff or do you have a bunch of other stuff you're just waiting to talk about? I mean, if you've got a hot or not list, you know, we could go and blast through those. All right.

All right. All right. Well, it's a bucket list. I have like a big orgy or like a 17 way or something i don't want that yeah it sounds too sweaty i'm gonna try and sort of simplify some of these because i would say there's some sort of classes of the generic bucket list stuff that people get onto but uh well i'm curious because a lot of these don't interest me or some of them maybe I or you guys have

already done and we can talk about that. The first category of bucket list thing I want to say is like the seeing all of something visiting all eight wonders of the world swimming all seven of the major oceans and seas see all of the seven. I hope it's the right number of continents or six like antarctica doesn't count because it's boring i don't know you hear that antarctica you suck you don't count except for mark he wants to live there for three months you guys have any of that that like and like this includes stuff to like see every major league baseball stadium or you know whatever

is there like anything you're collecting? No. Does that appeal to you? Because I think this one seems stupid. Yeah, I've got no interest in all that either. Not me. All right. Well, if that's on your bucket list, you're an idiot.

You bucketed wrong. Was that officially a not? Was that not hot? Yeah, I agree. So seeing all of the whatever continents oceans wonders of the world not hot not stupid boring your bucket list pales in comparison to ours this is related and possibly includes wade's one item already but the next category is similar but is more like go see this one specific thing like the northern lights or the great barrier reef or the grand canyon or hawaii i don't know is there anything in the world individual location

of architecture the loo the um anything that you need to see before you die is this a good one or a bad one i think this is okay because i the whole hitting every of something is so arduous i don't think if you're on your bucket list you're not gonna make that but seeing the one thing i get that i don't know what one thing i would have but so for me hawaii i would like to see the place in the crew i just like tropical locations so i want to see hawaii and or like places in the caribbean because i like tropical locations the beach the drinks the atmosphere the one place i wanted to see on my bucket list is already crossed off and that was when we were doing the europe you're welcome tour i got to go see notre dame and the reason i wanted to see that was because in minecraft way back in the day i built like a semi replica of it uh at

least on the exterior that was heavily based on it and like i just wanted to see it in person just i don't know after having studied it and tried to build something like it it was like well it'd be really cool to see that in person and i've already gotten to do that so it's crossed off but like i think for an individual location like the reason that location might be important to someone varies a lot so i think that one's okay too that's that's hot or whatever yeah all right legit i agree i like that one i don't know what i would pick but there are a few things in the world where I'm like, ah, yeah, I guess I wish I would see that. I would like to see that before I'm gone. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Every boob in the world. All right. Well, this next one, we may struggle to relate to on a personal level, but I'm going to group these all

together and reserve my opinion on them. anything on a bucket list relating to your career so there's a lot if you look and like look like what are bucket list ideas there's a lot of stuff that are like bigger than markiplier be an expert in your field or mentor young co-workers or like receive a big promotion we don't really have like a normal career path but if you imagine you had like an office job or you were an engineer or something i don't know have like a normal career path but if you imagine you had like an office job or you were an engineer or something i don't know or a lawyer would this be in your bucket list career achievement you just hit a million subscribers on your youtube channel true uh wait you've already had a million um but i know like i have a couple more

but but like given that that is an achievement it comes with a gold play button it's like there's a ceremony behind it there's like a sense of accolade like the fans are really excited about that for the creator and for you would you consider that to be almost a bucket list achievement yeah i oh sorry go ahead i was asking bob oh okay never mind i reserve my opinion we both can have an answer for this it's something i'm very excited about but it's honestly not a thing where it's like at some point i sat down and was like okay how am i gonna get to a million like what i stopped thinking about that a long time ago and the number just sort of kept creeping up and creeping up and in the last couple months i've been watching it's like oh oh that might actually hit a million that's crazy but it's definitely not a thing where i would have

like written it written written it down or like made a mental note where it's like god i need that i want to achieve that it's an insane achievement but i wouldn't really say it's on my bucket list even though it's i'm not ungrateful it's cool and i can't believe it happened but i don't know if i died not having achieved that. I don't think I'd be sad about it. Like, ah, shoot. Yeah, I'm going to die now. I never really dwelled on getting the milestones like that either.

But there's something it's kind of weird, but there's something I've wanted to do for like five or six years, I guess, career related. I don't know if I'll ever really do because I've never really pursued it. But I just think it would be cool. And that is like going and speaking either like at our old high school or one of the colleges i attended and just like i don't know if about teaching a full class or anything but like just giving a talk about the mindset of like how i was whenever i was in school and thinking like oh i have to have my career decided i've got to know i've got to have a plan pursue pursue from

like seventh grade on and just how like going with the flow of life and stuff and how we got into what we do i don't know like i i think it would be cool to do something like that which i guess is semi-career oriented but it's not like i have to i don't know if it counts as a bucket list but it's something that like since about 2014 2016 somewhere in that range it's something i've been like you know that would be pretty cool to do yeah i've had something uh not quite like that speaking at the school but i've had something recently that i I really do think fits in that vein of like passing on knowledge while also respecting what happened in the past is like, I've been doing this internship with Corridor Digital. And it's so strange because Corridor inspired me to start

making videos, right? It's this bizarre dynamic where I have a channel that just purely by numbers, you know, I have more subscribers, but they have a longer history of inspiring people with the content that they make. And they recently have hit a new stride with like more people in the office. And it's really exciting what's going on there. It's a great experience to be there. But in a weird way, sometimes they ask me things as if I am like the source of knowledge in terms of like hitting these big numerical successes. And I just keep going back to them. And I'm like, guys, you inspired me. But so to have this long career trajectory of like 10 years on YouTube, which is long on YouTube and the internet, and then be able to come full circle back to that and just be in an office with them and making stuff together is quite a trip, but really, truly fulfilling.

And so I'd say like the only career things that I would think would be hot in this debate would be things that give you that sense of fulfillment and completion and be able to pass on knowledge while still being able to learn things overall i don't know if like career stuff is necessarily hot or not bucket list material but who knows i mean i think it can be because i mean a standard career that you think about like an office nine to five job is like an older mindset whereas now there's so many things you can do between art literature music entertainment whatever i think you can alter career things to fit bucket list that aren't maybe the old standard way of thinking so i think that could be speaking of 10 years we're pretty close to 10 years of the first episode of drunk minecraft where we all oh wow first collab aren't we wasn't that like

yeah was that in fall of 2012 it was like july or august it was july or august 2012 yeah my channel my youtube channel launched in november of 2012 so i'm up on 10 years as well august 2012 was the first episode technically there was a stream before that but i wouldn't count that i don't think i was on the stream it was just you two and someone else i think yeah august 8th 2012 yeah we're coming we're under a month away from that at this point yeah i don't know when this episode i don't know yeah we might be there i don't know i don't know where we are but we're close it's somewhere around now i think this is not not but i have different values i respect your opinion on it wade and i guess mark too would you but Would you both say hot?

I wouldn't. Are you hotting this? I wouldn't say hot because it's not like super spicy. And if it's just tepid, I have to say not because it is not hot. Not. I think it's definitely something I could see. But this is also not one for me that's like, yes. It's more like lukewarm.

Yeah. All right. Well, I'm a pretty big not. Lukewarm. That's interesting. lukewarm. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm a pretty big not, but. Lukewarm. That's interesting. I was medium. I was thinking that one would be a not so interested one. But as an aside, Mark, I think it's really funny.

Just the little image that you painted of the corridor guys like asking you. Yeah. Because like in the industry, like you've been very successful and they have too, but just not like you said, like the numbers is like a thing that people get caught up on. To me, the idea of the corridor guys asking you like, like they're not the OGs of YouTube and they're not like these legendary, you know, this legendary channel with these legendary figures leading it. I don't know.

It's just funny because and not to downplay, I'm sure that you know things that they don't know about specific things. You have a lot of knowledge you've accrued. But it's just funny. Because like you said, you're basically of the generation that they inspired, almost. But also, you're kind of in their generation

because their channel's been so successful for so long. And they have had a renaissance over the last couple years. That's been really sweet. That's just funny to me. Yeah. My renaissance is coming any day guys just wait it's coming don't worry you'll get there buddy it's coming you'll have your very own renaissance any minute now renaissance not this minute renaissance all right the next bucket list category which includes a wide range of things i think you guys might be more interested in this one.

And I don't want to touch on a sore nerve, but involve something that I know you've been working on, Mark. Personal development goals. Oh, no. Like learning, say, a language, how to woodwork or a hobby that you're interested in, like making videos on YouTube. Speaking Korean? Yeah, or like speaking Korean.

Maybe if you were trying to learn that. Is that a bucket list thing or is that a goal thing? It's a goal. By God, I hope it doesn't turn into a bucket list thing. My God. At this point, it's been a bucket list. How long have you been trying? Try harder, man.

Wow. Yes. Wow. Nice. Wow. Not to be harsh, but oof. You've been doing a good job, Mark. I believe in you. Pretty rough, man. Oh, jeez.

It's a little too real. I'm dying faster than your dream of speaking Korean. It's a little real, man. You're right, Wynn. How is all those dreams you're working on coming good well if you don't have them you can't fail them i don't can't tell if that's funny or sad it's both it made me sad i guess yeah me too i don't do you have any personal development things you wish you you need to learn before you kick it wade nope i'm pretty happy how to take constructive criticism per chance oh god no

for an example how to be less prideful maybe set a good example i'm not that prideful i'm just stubborn i wouldn't call it pride because it's not like i think i'm better i just know that i'm lazy and i accept that fault of my own i have been i will say doing a little bit better on the health side of things though i've been more active been outside gone and played basketball a few times like i don't know if i told you guys on the podcast but i've been doing better that so i guess i do want to shed a few pounds i guess i need to eat some feces get rid of some grays in my beard i mean i'm gonna put that on my bucket list now oh yeah yeah again i guess where i'm with mark here i don't know if that sounds like a bucket list a bucket list sounds like it's

something like i hope to do one day and it's like if i'm not working on that now then oof because that sounds more like a goal than a bucket list to me but i mean if it's something that you're doing long term like what would be a bucket list personal goal like i'm thinking health yeah it's one of those things where a bucket list is less about building a skill that takes a long time because that does have to be a goal and it's like i guess if you die before you get it, you didn't make your goal. But bucket list is like that one thing. It's more of an experience, right? There's no time left for personal development.

A bucket list is something that you don't you don't really write it before you know you're about to die, right? You write your bucket list when you have a date that you're like, oh, shit, I'm going to kick the bucket. Because even if you have a bucket list beforehand, you really write down what that bucket list is that why it's called bucket list because you're gonna kick yeah i explained that yeah in this episode god i don't listen man yeah we know really don't i get real caught up in my own train of thought sometimes and just zone out a lot what is your train of thought it really depends i'd love to have a peek into the mind of wade yeah i would love a ticker like an out loud monologue of whatever is happening in your head we could get that with some time like if you just start off just start talking and we'll stop

and we'll just let you go it's hard to say because like my brain works in such a weird way where it's like you guys will say something that will get me thinking like oh yeah i need to work on maybe my health stuff like oh well i've been playing basketball i've been swimming a little bit i don't have swimming counts and then then my brain goes on the last few times i swam i didn't put on enough sunscreen because i got sunburned but then i was afraid to shave my heads it's like am i gonna be pale on the sides and tanned on top oh no it looks okay i think because the dark hair on the sides has kind of covered it up and then like you know a few more things will happen then you guys will be like wade i'll be like oh uh

sorry i wasn't listening but it's not intentional my brain just goes off on those distracted tangents that lead one to the other then i come back and i usually forget half the stuff i thought about all right that was so distractible so distractible i really i'm perfect for this show except for the listening part all right well i will say those are sort of the more general categories of things that i found as like themes and you know i arbitrarily broke them down i'm sure there are other ways you could define the themes that exist within the bucket list but i would like to move now to the lightning round and this is where we might ruffle some feathers. And we can debate or not debate. If you have a strong feeling, go ahead and express it.

But I would like to move through some specific things. And I just want to say it. And I want you guys to say hot or not. Alright. And for everyone out there, if you get offended, this is just our opinion. It doesn't mean that it's official. This is just what we think. If you get offended, go to the subreddit and tell us that we're assholes.

And why we're wrong. Reddit.com slash r slash distractible and then buy some merch out of spite and then hate buy some merch and then burn it and then realize you like that shirt and then buy another one all right you guys ready for lightning round yep all right round one ride horses on the beach. Not. No. I got no interest in that. You gotta say not. Not. There you go. Perfect.

All right. Round two. Go bungee jumping. Not. Hot. Ooh. No. God, no.

Hot. Could not be less. This marks a thrill seeker. I like it. Round three. Take a hot air balloon ride. Already done it. Not. Not.

Part of round four. Visit an elephant sanctuary. Hot. hot not i don't really care that much i've seen elephants round five i'm particularly attracted to this one attend the olympics hot not they're better on tv probably like most things wow actually wait no you might be right wait come on it's an experience person no you get to see the olympic village and you get to see the creepy mascot you know there's gonna be a creepy mascot not yeah it depends on this the the country it's in i specifically am excited for the olympics that are going to be in los angeles in the not too distant future oh then hot I'll be right here. Perfect. Hot. Back on hot. All right.

Won him over. Consistently not. Keys of access. Round six. Be in a Saturday Night Live audience. Not. Not. I'd rather be on stage.

All right. Round seven. Be on a parade float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Not. That one sounds kind of fun to me. That sounds terrible. He waves at people. Sweating, waving, smiling. Fine, fine, fine, fine. Round eight. not that one sounds kind of fun to me that's terrible you wave at people waving fine fine

fine round eight ride a mechanical bull not done it not i watched you do it oh you didn't do it very well i gotta be honest no i did not it was on like baby mode and everything yeah yeah but to be fair you did it and i chickened out i tried to jump and balance on those exercise balls which is not the same as a mechanical bull, but I can tell you it's not designed to handle you jumping and standing and trying to balance on it. And that was, I should have died enough to that. I don't need any other risks to my life.

That doesn't sound like it's related to a mechanical bull at all. That's what I thought of. You asked for my brain. I'm telling you everything. That's fair. We did ask for that. Round nine. Go skinny dipping in the ocean at night. Not. Not.

Not. Especially night. Not a chance. No way. Not. I could say I didn't go skinny dipping, but we did run into the ocean. Not like up to our knees at the deepest. At night, though.

You died. This is an Alexa recording of you. Now we know. I did not. We ran into the ocean, then we ran right back into a safety of a hot tub no no way not on your life at night are you kidding me not not there was lights from the hotel on the beach cold cold cold it was exciting what about being in the middle of the ocean on a raft mark would you like all right uh round 10 oh i forgot i left this in here i don't like this one but i'll do it anyway write a love letter to that person you've always intended to write a love

letter to i don't know if that applies to us very accurately but you know hot or not not my dearest person by the time you're reading this i'm dead anyway i've lost it for you every night for years like it could be to like you know amy or molly or i could write one it could be to a person that you already love oh okay why would mark be writing a love letter to molly yeah well i'm i'm writing one to all three you if you know what I mean. Some of them are getting different stuff inserted inside of them. All right. You know, I was going to say not, but after hearing you say that, Bob, it's kind of hot. Come on, God.

Very not. Molly and I do write little letters to each other from time to time, but I wouldn't say it's a bucket list, so still not. Oh, that's so cute. I have some letters in my wallet in various storage places that Mandy wrote me when we were, but a courting couple. Whenever we used to see each other in person, but we lived apart or we had to travel, Molly would always sneak a note in like my bag or something or hide it somewhere before she'd

leave. That's adorable. But still not. Yeah, not. Hardcore not. Not. Round 11. Set a Guinness World Record record this is sort of pertinent uh hot hot hot wait i'm lukewarm so not i guess that's a good one that's good all right number of people traumatized by your death world record hey i hope to have most people celebrating my death. Wow. Two sides of the same coin.

They're like, finally, that asshole's gone. And for some reason, the last one is number 12. Oh, you know what? There's two more. That was just it. Number 12. This is not the last one. It's number 12.

Run a marathon or half marathon or even just a 5K. Not. Not. No. This is kind of one for me yeah in a very like athletic achievement is never is not a thing i've spent a lot of time on i'm super out of shape i'm like a big overweight dude but the idea of training for and completing a race even if it's incredibly slow like like even if I just barely finished before they literally start tearing down the finish line to go home. The idea of doing that personally for me would be like a hallmark of I finally am taking care of myself more. I'm finally getting in better shape. So the race itself is not a big deal to me, but to commit to something and then to do it like a half marathon or like a bike race or something, that kind of appeals to me.

Okay. It's not on my list, but I could, that would be something where for, I would feel like, ah, you know what? I did it. That would be satisfying. That's cool. I like that. But that's for me personally, because my health is like, I don't do a good job with my health.

I'm super unhealthy. It's awful. That makes a lot of sense. That comes with the personalized natures of these. And no you know that's pretty that's pretty good not though still not yeah not for me but great hey yeah you don't have to do it hot for me man hot for me that's good that's good and the last one obviously round 13 it's a normal number to stop on a make a video that goes viral yeah yeah god no no no not we've probably been in one at this point i knew what is it really done for us given us a career a life happiness what do you mean probably it really depends how you define viral because i would say yeah meow

is viral in that it was shared beyond your platforms people stole it and put it on facebook and everywhere you know yeah i don't know if anything i've made on like on my own channels or anything is viral by any real measure dude i would consider the pokemon smasher path viral and wade that was your goddamn idea was it really yes you told me to do it oh yeah well on this podcast damn it why don't i ever do good things for myself because you thought i thought it was a bad idea i just shitted it out and look everyone was like this is the new thing and then that's gets more views than a lot of my other stuff I put actual work into. Can I have the revenue for that video then?

Sure. Thanks, man. I'll give you 50% of it. Whoa. Hey, listen. Is that a legally binding statement? Is that how this works? Will, edit this in.

I just want to say, I invented Drunk Minecraft, so. No, the answer is zero. Zero? It's claimed. No really yeah wow well then just give me the next best one that's fine zero anyway i do just want to say as a goal going viral not not hot okay not a hot goal not not in a judgmental way but kind of an injudgmental way all these kids who are licking ice cream and on tiktok and putting it back and weird weird shit that people do on the internet to go viral with no other goal it's always weird to me and like

cringy and it just made it it's weird even when it works and it goes super viral was it worth it i don't think so not i don't think it was it's not not don't be like us kids it has been declared our lives are terrible don't try to be us are you kidding us we don't even have good bucket lists that's true oh we're boring that's true we've got more like cup lists they're real small and shitty well you don't want to be a youtuber speaking of shitty i need to go figure out how to eat shit and get young yeah on that note uh what has been a relatively docile episode that's made me think a lot more about my own death than i really

anticipated uh is going to stumble to get another clumsy end thank you so much for playing along friends of mine i have to say i'm struggling to pick a winner you are tied on points actually i was keeping loose track of points in my head as i like to do and i swear to god you ended up tied dual hosting again um so look uh i am just going to pick a winner based off of whose bucket list I like better wait didn't you two agree on one shit

I like the Olympics oh wait are the Olympics on your bucket list now oh man they sure might be wait no Bob they're on my list too unbelievable i'm i actually wait i said it was hot because it was in la i actually that's fair that's fair i did mark mark came back to me on the olympics so what do you have an argument wait are you saving your soul right now i don't but i'm trying to you were even a good sport you played along with with our James Webb Space Telescope talk at the beginning, Wade.

I did. I liked it. You really tried today. But Mark and I, essentially sharing a bucket list item kind of made it unfair for you. Nice. I can't believe when it comes down to sports, I lost to you two. And I probably played sports more than both of you combined. I don't think that's the common denominator.

How does this come down to sports? Olympics are sports. Olympics are sport. Yeah, well, I did track and field, so I don't think you did track and field. No, I turned my teacher down forever. Yeah, I did. Mark and I both putted shot and scussed some dizz.

Yeah. That one didn't land, but that's okay. I played basketball for as many years as there were bucket list items. Mark wins, okay? We're going to the Olympics in LA in 2028 or whenever it is, and it's gonna be awesome. I choose to exercise my automatic

win card. Oh, shit. No, no, Mark. Wade and I talked about this, and, uh... No, we didn't. It seemed only fair, so that wade has activated his one and only hold and destroyed upon you i choose to reserve my card what i don't have a topic fine fuck it mark wins thank you so much for listening to this episode of distractible thank you so much uh for being here make sure you follow the podcast and so you know when it

comes out it comes out on mondays you should know that by now how do you not remember this it's monday monday mornings what are you doing with your life clearly you're not listening hard enough if you don't know when the podcast comes out anyway uh yeah you know markiplier on youtube and places and lord minion 777 or minion 777 on youtube or twitch places and i am my skirm you'll never spell it so it doesn't really matter and that is the end of this episode buy some merch uh go to the subreddit all that usual stuff we're out of here podcast out