Distractible - Best of Wade: Part 1 (Compilation)

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

It's time once again to venture into "The Distractible Vault" to retrieve some of the most bald, car-less, and boat-loving moments of the King of Meat himself, Wade. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's time for Best of Wade part one. And I'm bogged. I don't know why I did that. Oh my God, is that guru Stefan, guru and Harold's bald cousin? I don't know what happened to be there I was possessed I'm haunted man get ready for that to be quoted for a very long time I want to make that a notification sound on my phone what was it was your title win rock rock a by rockabai bobby oh that sounds sweet that sounds calming yeah already that sounds calmer than what mark had going on well so my thought process is is if you're an infant like

what are you going to really remember from this talk other than maybe maybe like some sing-songy little lullaby. So I wrote you a little lullaby. Oh, beautiful. Oh, wow. That hopefully will stick with you for life. Oh, okay. All right.

So I'm just going to sing it to you. You ready for some cringe, everyone out there? Oh, do it. Rock goodbye, Bobby on the treetop. Mommy is dead, but you still have pops. Now that she's gone, the money. go by so sleep little Bobby so papa can cry and when you wake paw will still be sad so grow up and deal because that's life with dear dad

Wow. That's your first life lesson. I'll take my L, Bob. I had so little expectations coming into this. That's fucking. I do not see that coming. to repeat what the game we're playing is. I pretty much got it, I think.

I'll get all the questions correct and Wade will make all the noises and it'll be a tie. All right, it may be difficult. It may be difficult. All right, hold on. Is the whole thing one animal? Yeah, no, that's goats. That's what goats sound like. I got that one.

Is it good? Yeah. Holy shit. I have to do an impression now. Is that right? You could also abstain. staying if you don't want to hear your voice or anything. It's okay.

All right. Buh. Buh. I think Wade gets it for the horrified scream and the two. It truly is. I can't even do it. He did great.

Okay, so what's the, we have to describe this as if we are old or as an old person would? No, you're getting older. So each one of you would have to. explain it older than the other one. You are going to explain how to boil an egg. Uh, turn on the stove, set your pot there. Uh, oh shit, forgot water. Uh, uh, uh, go fill up with water, sink, put it back on the stove. Uh, you wait for the bubbles, put in your egg, wait until whatever Google tells you to wait for. And off the heat, pick it out, dump your water and I don't want to wait for your egg to cool. What was that our age? I figured talking about Google,

maybe like you know 20s yeah no that that works i think that works weighed older and what we used to do is gather some sticks uh put them together and uh hmm uh uh uh you have to light them uh you get some little leaves and stuff you light them and you get your kettle and you put it on top of there and make sure you take it down to the uh crick and get some water uh um um The egg is in there and the water's hot. Yeah, you can eat it. Was that old? He handed an egg to Jesus himself.

And I swear, he touched it. He handed it back. The shell came off and it was jelly-like. So I ate it. Jesus made that egg so good. So how we got seasoning's inside the egg. On the seventh day, I was supposed to rest. But this fucking idiot just ate my apple.

I guess, uh, I don't what the fuck that thing is, but let's make it youth edible. Uh, in many different ways, I suppose they could try frying. Ooh, ooh, that spring looks kind of warm. I wonder if you put one in there. Yes. Uh, and then you could... Ah. They could boil it too!

Oh God, and they're hideous naked. They should put clothes. Man, God was not who I thought he was. VPN sign up Skyrocket in face of porn bans in specifically red states. If you didn't know, hypocrisy abound. Porn very bad, but the states that are banning it are seeing unprecedented levels of VPNs, accessing porn to this day. Discuss. Apparently, it's gone beyond people now.

Hmm? What? It's gone into like air and water bend. Because we have the red sea and blue sky, it's getting crazy out there. Not just red and blue states. Did I just miss five minutes of conversation or? Back to you in the studio, Bob. How do you get throw it back to yourself in the studio?

I met Wade. Oh, thanks, Bob. I, George Wade Barnes, just want to come out staunchly in favor of porn bands, but also staunchly in favor of VPNs. If they knew who you were and what you were watching, they would be able to determine people that might be gay, but not out in the openly gay. I said that terribly. I said that horribly. But it would allow government institutions or companies to identify people's sexual orientation based on what they watch.

And, you know, that by itself isn't bad, but depending on the people who have that information and have certain opinion. opinions about other's sexual orientation or otherwise could be very extremely excessively bad. So like the the bad sides are pretty bad the good sides are limited. Uh, Wade, in the field. How are you feeling that hurricane? Uh, it's real blowy. Uh, it's real bad. Thankfully, it's all straight out here. There's none of that gay wind blowing around. Not sure what transition you wanted with the hurricane, but what did you get? That is one hell of a data point for them to suss out on your personal internet record. I'll tell you what.

The personality analysis algorithms are going to be confused. We did say there's none of the gay wind. How do we interpret this? Do we get them? Do we not get them? I don't know. Why is it Oscar the crowd? Are you a Muppet character?

Oh my God. I see we get him. Elmo needs to know his next move. Elmo needs to know right now. Back to you in the studio. Good. Well, great recording. That's why you won those awards. All right. Wade. Yeah. Pets.

Honestly, don't get me started on pets. Pets are a bigger responsibility than anyone would have you know. Pets, they're cute, they're cuddly, they're fun, sure. But nobody wants to talk about what pets actually. need money for vet bills. Leaky anal glands. You gotta take them to the vet once every month or two and have someone stick their fingers up their ass to release their anal glands. Because apparently that's a fucking thing they don't teach them. Oh, I want to get a puppy. No, you fucking don't. You're gonna gel up your fingers and show him up Fido's ass? Well, someone has to because the anal glands get clogged. It's disgusting. Oh, and then they get older. We outlive our pets. That's really sad. It sucks losing pets. Been there done that. They don't train you for that shit either. But when they get old, it's not all cute, cuddly fun games. No, I'm learning that cats stop using the litter box and they shit on the floor and they drag their ass They go outside. They eat grass. They come inside and guess what? Oh, grass. That doesn't feel so good Bluh. Oh, I've vomited. That makes me need to shit too for some reason. Let me just leave all of that right by the couch where you sit so your feet can either be in the nice nasty icky or on the lovely cleaning solution you put down.

Just got a new rug. Oh boy, no more yet. I better go mark that. hike piss all over the goddamn place oh i don't want to eat the food you got today father oh this canned of food it isn't what i happen to want i don't want those treats today i want what you want all that steak that you've been cooking looks great you had to look away to crack open a drink oh fucking mind get your own food now dad oh okay guess i'll just fucking starve what could you give me some cuddle some cute moments but all of the shit Don't get me started. Guy, you really went there, man.

I hope your pets don't listen to this podcast. Yeah, man. I'm going to make them. This is what you play for them when you leave the house. Put it in their cage and play this episode on full volume. Oh yeah, take out the blanket. It's just cold, hard crate with a TV monitor and this. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good, man. Next up, Bob, you're first. I think I know this one too Oh, yes, the AR-15 What the fuck? What the hell? No, no, yeah. I know, I think I know what that is.

I think that's a, um, is that a magpie? No, unfortunately, it's not. I think I still know what it is. I think I just don't know what it's called because I can see, I can see this bad boy. It's obviously the African hissing cockroach

A damn fine guess What a damn wrong guess I think it is actually an African animal I'll let Wade also chime in on this Because here is this animal And I am unsure if this is actually gonna make the sound in the video I can't see how but here we go

Oh It's clacking Yeah I see it yeah I see it I see it Damn that's loud That's so loud. That's terrifying. This is a bird that has seen war and is mimicking war. Oh, hold on, I gotta play with my time. It's so big.

Can I vote we don't try to mimic that sounds? I'll break my teeth. Well, don't do that. You don't have to do that. My mouth hurts. If you feel like you have to, I can't stop you, but I don't suggest it. Can you play it one more time? Yeah, yeah, I get you. I think that was pretty good.

It had the right residence to it. What's on your desk? That was my armrests. And also at one point, one of them fully just went down, even though it shouldn't without pressing the button. So I'm a little concerned. Yeah, well, they're probably designed to withstand that. Also, ow, my fans hurt.

Better than your teeth You can't handle the truth You can't handle my truth You can't handle thigh truth You can't handle fried truth You can't handle fried Ruth You can't handle deep fried Ruth You Bob can't handle deep fried Ruth

Do I have to say my name there then? Yeah I think so You slob can't handle deep fried Ruth You throb can't handle deep fried Ruth You throb can't handle deep fried ruth you mob can't handle deep fried ruth you cob can't handle deep fried ruth you rob can't handle deep fried ruth didn't he just say didn't did you said throb he said throb I think and we have said bob but rob is different you knob can't handle deep fried ruth you little knob can't handle deep fried ruth you little knob can't handle deep fried

Ruth. You whittle knob can't handle deep fried Ruth. You whittle fucking knob can't handle deep fried woof. You whittle fucking glob can't handle deep fried Ruth. You whittle fucking shit-gwob can't handle deep fried woof. You whittle fucking shit-gwob can't handle deep fried paper roof. You little fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried paper wrapped roof. You whittled fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried paper sleuth. Paper wrapped Ruth.

Paper wrapped! Also, I think there was some glob knob mix-up. Yeah, I made it glob. He turned it back to knob, so I just went with it because you You didn't call him. Yeah, if I don't catch it, I don't think I can count it unless you do some kind of coin. I'm saving that for later. I'm going to need it. Oh, I do have one more article.

This is the most breaking news. This appeared just an hour ago. Elon Musk. You ready? Oh, I'll wait to see where this one goes. Appears to admit he's guilty of cheating in gaming scandal. This might be the worst thing he's ever done in the last hour. My heart goes out to him.

I can't believe this has come out. If he had just admitted to boosting in the first place, no one would have given a shit, but trying to claim it was his own work. Very unfortunate. Coming to you from one of the Tier 15 maps of Paths of Exile where I've been dead for the last hour after not knowing how to play. All right. I'm coming to you live, shackled in Elon's basement, and I can tell you he's been throwing a tantrum all day.

Let's get weird for a sec. Imagine if your furniture could handle all the wild and ridiculous moments life froze at you. For example, what if your couch grew and grew and grew and grew until it enveloped your entire house? Sounds like a really specific. to you fantasy that we're building on here but i like it continue with cozy you can have your home your way is what i'm trying to say you can have modular furniture pieces where you're like what if i want this to be like two seats and then curve what if i want to be 10 long modular so you

can add and subtract pieces to kind of fit and then if you get a bigger house you take couch you add more pieces bigger couch cozy makes everything easy from keeping stylish keeping clean So transform your living space today, visit cozy.ca, spelled C-O-Z-E-Y, the home of possibilities made it easy. This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometime. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered.

It's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Or to them or the FBI. I'm not 100% sure. Yep. When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will. We're on our way.

Uber. On our way. Download the app today. Bob, I got a tough one for you. Okay. If you can identify this sound, you could get a point. Oh, God. I want to say this is some kind of arachnid.

No, I'm going to go with cow. That is correct. It was a cow. Hard to believe. You get a point. All right, Wade. All right, here we go. Here we go.

Mour. I'm kidding. Sorry, I smiggled again. I know it was a complete accident, guys. No, actually, wait, I totally forgot there was some other thing I was going to do. Wade, is there any other thing that you think that animal could be that would be more convincing than the correct answer? Yeah, so after Tuesdays whenever I usually do podcast, stream, and then record, I sit in this chair for a long time. That's also the sound of my knees, me.

make whenever I stand up after being here for 12 hours. That's incorrect. You don't know that. You're right. If you can record that sound and it sounds exactly like this recording. All right. Well, that was a tie because I think you both made the exact same sound and I don't know who did it better.

My first one was clearly the best. Yeah, if Wade gets credit for his first one, doesn't that mean that I win? I have no idea. Was that? Should we count that? That was the official. Mour! No!

to do a Golem-esque cow is very impressive. Precious. Moo, precious. It's me, smiggle. Hey, is that my ring? Where did you find that? What is potatoes, precious? Gallum, how do we get to Mordor?

Well, you take the four of five? Follows me. If you reach the city of the damned, you've got to four. All right, even d'ring it. Get on the fire, and just go. All right, we're spinning. And you guys are going to, ooh. Oh, God.

Great, right off the bat. This is the one I was most looking forward to. You're going to be getting more fanatical, formerly religious, but fanatical. As you explain, and Bob, you went first. So, Wade, you're now going, and give us a nice baseline to work with Wade of how does photosynthesis work?

Just the basics. Well, as all things, it works. through a little bit of prayer and belief. We look up and we are blessed with rays from above that come down and they hit the greenery on this beautiful planet. As the rays hit the plants, they're filled with God's love and they bloom. I've got to pause. I'm so sorry.

It has to start with a normal. It has to start normal and then get fanatical. So I love the ambition, but it... What's a normal fanatical explanation of photosynthesis? No, not fanatical. Not fanatical at all. Zero percent fanatical. Okay, so I'm not doing any kind of thing.

No fanatical, yes. Yes. All right, fair enough. All right, well, heat and light hitting a plant, are converted into energy via the process of photosynthesis inside of a plant because the inside of plants are complex systems full of cells that require nutrients, including from the soil, from rain, so on and so forth. But light and heat are a very important source of energy

and the process of photosynthesis is simply the conversion of that energy into nutrients so that the plant can thrive. That's a very apt description. That's great. That is pretty much what photosynthesis is without getting too into the weeds. Wait, a little more fanatical. My brothers and sisters, I alone speak to the plants. I alone know what they have to say and what their needs are. And your generous donations are exactly what they need to get the process of photosynthesis started. Without you, the sun's rays will dim away. I've heard it. from the plants themselves. They speak, they whisper, they yell, they scream, they cry, they love.

And they need your love right now. So please, be generous. Your donations are the key to the survival of this planet. Every blade of grass, every tree, they all need you and your support. And I will speak on their behalf and on your behalf to them to make sure we can all live in harmony. Amen. Amen.

Amen. Very, very good. It's too late! There's nothing we can do, except for sacrifice. ourselves to bring the plants back. Our blood is the key for the soil to be nutritized, to be deputized, to feel something again. Take the blades, take these cocktails, drink, and slats,

and allow our blood to bring the plants and photosynthesis back, for the sun is not strong enough without the blood of you and I. Jesus, God, damn. Amen. Did Wade die? I think he sacrificed himself. Oh, I get it. That's very fanatical.

I like my music like I like my weather. Okay. You need more lower lip bite, if I'm going to believe that one. Oh. I was like, oh, lower tip bite. teeth need to bite lip. Man, that's going to be clipped forever. That's going to be forever.

Yeah, I remember back when we were a village tavern, you know, you had those supermodels coming out. My single face. I'm not wearing that in 12 years. My single face. All right, I'm gonna show you guys a picture before we get to the next one. Ooh, somebody was drunk. Someone driving the paint truck just bouncing curb to curb as they go paint the lines on the road. Or wait, please describe this picture for everyone who's just listening.

Unfortunately, what we're looking at is a really messed up image of the corpse of an old road. You can see the chalk lines where they were drawing where the road had died. And they paved the new road right on top of it, but they re-drew the chalk. lines to make sure you could see where that old windy road died what we're actually actually looking at is some of the most brilliant McDonald's marketing of all time if you see the ms and the yellow lines they want you to drive down the road and know you're headed toward McDonald's breakfast what the fuck is this and why is this it's like the road was too quick to get down it's like what we'd make the road longer what if we just make them curve around a little bit make it

take longer to get down the road you got there eventually yeah This is a speed measure to try to get people to slow down in their driving. Now, here's the thing. This is in, where is this in? This is Pennsylvania. And it's meant to zigzag because you can't, obviously, well, you totally can go fast doing this. I've got one of the local residents here who apparently has been experiencing other unforeseen issues.

Drake Ulysses-Lah. Do you want to tell us what you've been seeing? It's actually pronounced drag. Uh, the neighbors and I, one of the things we haven't noticed, is that the paint prices have gone up dramatically, since the roads have been painted in such a way. Wait, you said Pennsylvania, not Pennsylvania. Oh, man. She just actually think it was Transolvania for a while. Back to you.

Uh, that's my line. My bad. Uh, that's Drack. Back to you in the studio. Dren, Drake, Ulysses, uh... Law. That almost made me vomit. I don't know.

Can't just unleash stuff like that. You weren't even laughing. You just jumped straight to vomit. Oh man, right to vomit. Right. Straight to vomit. But I said that name. Did you guys have any idea what was coming out?

No, I was so fucking confused. That was a dumbest shit. Whoa, man. Yeah, that might be. That might be your dumbest. Good. The vampire. Oh, man.

Wade, how would you handle this situation? Well, I'd go into one of the bathrooms. I'd put my clown costume on. I'd walk up. Which clown? What kind of clown? Which clown? Oh, you know, like red hair, yellow.

Oh, okay, okay. Hamburger. I believe that's called a hamburger. Classical hamburger clown. I'd walk up to the person and I'd say, don't you know whose plane this is? And then they'd say, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mr. Our Clown, and I'd go walk on the plane.

I'd get some hair with some blood that I'd been saving in my basement, and I'd put hair on each of the seats, but because there's blood becomes a biohazard, and they have to get a hazmat team to come look at the plane. And in the meantime, I would probably go get, like, the longest range weapon I could find, and shoot at the sky nonstop with it, hoping to kill God, because this is his fault.

Like, he did this. So, once he's gone and the plane is under hazmat and people can't take off, I feel like I've vindicated myself and I call a cab to go somewhere else, I guess, for vacation. I'm still laughing and hoping to kill guns. I know, I know. Well, clearly he's ruined my fucking vacation. Like, who else you're going to blame? I don't shoot the messenger.

Just wait, standing out on a runway, just like, boom, boom. up, do that, do the cartoon thing where it like zooms, scrolls up really fast, it's like, like, God is up, up in heaven, just like, ah! Oh, God! I didn't think I could get up here! Does he say, oh, God, and say, oh, me! Oh, me!

All right, so, I'm gonna chuck it over to my ACE reporters to replace me, uh, eventually, fighting for the top spot, a co-host, co-anchor here. Uh, who wants to go first? Should I flip forward or do you guys gotta? I have a story. Go forward, shit, man.

Thankfully, I'm not the only, professional here. There is somebody else who can deliver some of this news. No pun intended. Um, let's go over to Olivia. It seems like the weather. He's going to be mostly sunny, hardly, chants of rain. Back to you. Uh, thanks, Olivia. Olivia's in the studio today, despite actively giving birth. That's right. News anchor Olivia Jackwith went ahead with a three-hour morning newscast while giving birth in the studio. Lots of weird

chocolate covered pickles being consumed in the studio today. Uh, I want you to win the one man show. So badly. Well, it's actually host an episode for that to happen, so. Wait, do you want coffee? Because that's what's up. Don't get me started on coffee. I'm not a coffee

drinker. People say they wake up to like, oh, the smell of a fresh cup of coffee. People have their nasty yellowed coffee teeth. they have their nasty coffee breath one cup of coffee when i wake up gives me some energy to start my day a month later two cups of coffee gives me the energy to start my day a couple months later oh man i've not had coffee in like two hours i'm starting to really wear down i've only had two pots of fucking coffee today oh i only needs 18 forests of coffee to get through my week

you weak fucking little bitches i don't have any coffee i don't have any goddamn energy drinks i'm a fucking person who just learns to deal with it jesus fuck oh i need my coffee no you don't you've made yourself need your coffee you got yourself on this goddamn addiction to coffee what good is it done other than make you spend more money to get more coffee that doesn't quite get you that same high the first cup ever did it's like your goddamn serial killer you got your first kill oh man i got to do another one see if it gets me that same high no the coffee will never recapture that first moment of coffee glass you had it will never be as good and you smell bad it smells bad It tastes bad.

It takes up space, so I could have other good things in the store. Oh, you know, you work in a place that serves coffee, you know what you do? Every 10 minutes, you go change the fucking coffee. You throw away the nasty wrapper of coffee grounds. You start another brew of coffee. People come in, I'll have my 50 cent cup of coffee. Actually, it's a dollar today, sir. The price went up.

Yeah, that's what fucking happens in the world. Prices go up! And I'm sorry, you're grumpy, you didn't have your cigarette in your coffee. Oh my god, it's not my problem. Get over it! Don't get me started on coffee. Okay. And you smell bad.

You smell bad, too. Damn, man. First one. It's a lot of pee, man. Sorry, it's a lot of pee. Man has no idea who is putting gallons of urine in his recycling bin. Gallons? It's a lot of pee.

How does he know it's gallons? Is it in containers? Yeah. The first account from our reporter in the field Wade here. So I was interviewing a neighbor by the name of Bill. Bill, do you want to tell us your story? Yeah, hi, man. I just want to let you know.

Recycling here, it ain't free. We can't all afford recycling, but the water supply, it's been a bit rough. It's hard to get water. So I was talking to some of the other folk, and we decided, well, we make liquid, right? And they could probably recycle it and make something good out of it.

So I went around with my bucket. I started collecting your room. We put it in some nice steel containers, and we put it in Mr. Dweens' bucket. And we're like, oh, they'll come collect the bigger bucket because they'll recycle it. I mean, it's liquid. Why can't you recycle liquid if you just saw wood and cardboard and plastic and all that? So, we're just trying to do some good for the community. Uh, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Whatever your name was.

Bill! Yeah, Mr. Bill. Uh, back to you. Uh, thank you to Wade, uh, reporter Wade, reporting from Portland. Where water is a problem. Yep, and people talk like that. Uh, Wade, feeling paranoid? No, man. Um, um, and Adam's pretty simple. You have the nucleus, which is like, the command center made up of uh protons and electrons and so on and so forth and uh cameras uh microphones

and such so that the nucleus always kind of knows what's going on and the way you know what kind of atom you have is how many things are kind of floating around watching things basically it you know oh all right yeah that basically is it any deeper levels apparently uh it's in my skin get it on me All right. Okay. All right. That's, that's, uh, yeah. Bob, I'm afraid that, um, unless you got something deeper in you, it's gonna be hard. I need knee pads for these kind of shows, man. See, he's dying because he knows the truth. Oh, fuck. Oh, now there's liquid in my lungs and my ears. Thanks, man. Here we go.

I didn't hear these I can't help I feel like that's a little bit more challenging than the cow Why does he get cow And I get Mark stubbing his toe While following down a flight of stairs No you know what that was That was Tyler six minutes into a hard laugh

You're right I'll play it again because Please This is a real animal I want to qualify These are all animals, okay? This is the European jackrabbit pony. It sounds like a motorcycle

And whenever you ride it around You have to tilt its ear a little bit To make sure you're getting the full speed That is a pretty good guess But unfortunately that is not correct Bob, what was your guess? My first guess was, this is Tyler, six minutes into a really good laugh. I also think it kind of sounds like a donkey who forgot how donkeys are supposed to sound.

Is it weird? My first thing I thought was Mark stubbing his toe while falling down a flight of stairs. Is that what the second half is? Mark starts falling down the stairs. I'll hold your impressions because there's going to be another point on the board. I want you guys to understand. Neither of you got what it was. But it's a camel.

Oh. There's a lot of stairs in Camel land. Uh-huh. Oh, that's just a fucking rally car over here. That's what I hear, man. Idaho governor signs bill criminalizing public breast exposure and truck nuts. Ooh. When they came for our breasts, I said nothing.

and when they came for our truck nuts. Because I've only had a truck for a little bit now, but I'm assuming I will get that in the mail at some point. They'll send me my truck nuts. Yeah, definitely. I have an interview here with one of the local Idaho residents. What's your name, sir? Mr. Potato Head.

Mr. Head, can you tell us what's been going on? It's been terrible. My little spuds have seen things they shouldn't be seeing anywhere and everywhere. There are boobs out, balls out, all kinds of things. It's been incredibly painful, especially for me and my wife. We've had to keep our eyes peeled to see the things going on around here. Did you just say peeled because it was a pun? No.

You heard it here first. They've had to keep their eyes peeled to make sure that their little spuds aren't seeing the terrible things going on in Idaho. Back to you in the studio. Thank you. For those who were just listening, they didn't see Wade's waddle out of that interview. I'm a master of impressions. Pick a number one through five.

Four. Oh, it's a Australian mini antelope. I'm going to look that animal up. If that's not real, I'm a deductive point from you. How dare you make up animals here? I hope it's a real animal. It came up as an animal. Thank you.

What? Adorable mini antelope. Wait, wait, what the fuck? Were you right? There is no native species of antelope in Australia. However, there have been instances of non-native antelopes being introduced to certain regions. Yeah, just like the camels and other things. Was that the right noise? It's not the right answer.

No. This one is much less inspiring. This is simply a lemur. I'd literally guess lemur like three guesses ago. Why are lemurs less inspiring? You're so cool. It looks a little bit like, this is the lemur who became the Joker in the lemur universe. I don't know why his lipstick is so bold, but it's a lot.

Yeah, for those who are listening only, uh, this, this lemur is to us. Do you want to know how I got these scores? Oh, it's just truly, it's really beautiful. All right, who can imitate that? What, man, that hell was... Ah! So close. Thank you.

Houston, we have a problem. Houston, we have a big problem. Fuck. Houston, we have a big space problem. Houston, we have a big race problem. Oh, what? Houston, we have a big grace problem. We have a big grace problem.

Houston, we have a big lace problem. Houston, we have a big mace problem. Houston, we have a big trace problem. Houston, we have a big trace elements problem. Houston, we have a pig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a rig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a fig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a fig trace elements problem.

Fig Newton Trace Elements Problem. Houston, we have a fig juice Newton trace elements problem. Wait, that can't be right. It's a singer. She does Angel of the Morning, which is the opener to Deadpool. I could have sworn, did he add two words that time or? No, he just added a really weird word. Okay, alright, okay, okay, okay, I'll let it slide. Houston, we have a fig juice box Newton trace element problem.

Houston, bro. Bro, we have a fig, juice box, Newton, trace elements problem. Houston, bro, fucking, we have a big fig juice box Newton trace elements problem. Houston, little bro, fucking we have a big juice box Newton trace elements problem. No, sorry, it's a big fig. Why did you catch it when Bob said big? No, you needed big and fig. You just said big.

I thought we changed big to fig. Did we? Am I wrong? Bob, am I wrong? I thought it was Fig Newton, Fig juice box Newton. Yeah, I think it was just fig. I'll take the hell.

Give it to me. I think you added one, because you said Houston, Little bro. Fucking, we have a big juice box Newton trace elements. Whatever the fuck. I don't know.

Give me the L. I'll take the L. God damn, I'm sure I fucked up. We thought you're trying to earn zero points on the whole episode. I know whenever I'm beat and this one is beating my ass. Anyway, police find Naked Man in Lowe's display shed with Vaseline in a phone. I feel like we all understand what's happening there. We sure do, we sure do.

We got Wade who's on the scene with the man. In the shed, an exclusive scoop. Yes. So this is... This was a really difficult interview to get. This was a very slippery interview. This guy kept getting out of my fingers despite how hard I tried to grasp him. Tell us exactly what was going on. Uh, hi mom.

I see. And can you tell us more? It does appear drugs are involved, Mark. All right, drugs are involved. I see. So we're not so different after all. He slipped away again. The only way to find him, there is a greasy set of footprints, just so you know. Authorities have been all over it, but this has been a slippery suspect. I'm not going to give you any points for the puns. If that was you actually acting for that laugh in the middle as him, that actually would have.

That's incredible, incredible acting. And we'll give you all credit for that. Thank you. Watch new episodes on Spotify.