Distractible - Big or Small

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

What is better, big or small? Today the guys decide once and for all by giving their personal opinions prompted by Bob's list of items. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production. This week, Bob likes big school, has affinity for large bow-wows, but prefers handheld versions. Wade doesn't move, nor attend parties, but loves a crop of pizza and dislikes the tiny packs. Mark misses the seasons and is worried about street sharks and the Krusty Man. Yet wizards take backsies and teeth cause him a huge meltdown. Yes, it's time for Big or Small. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show hello and well man these are these are getting increasingly awkward this is the intro now use this will hello and

welcome to distractible another episode of your favorite podcast and if it's not yet it's probably only because you haven't listened to it yet so get ready to laugh and feel and be transported to another time and place but only metaphorically my name is bob i will be your host for this episode the general format here is i the host bring a topic or a poorly researched story or nothing at all and i present it to my competitors and co-hosts, Mark and Wade. Hello. Oh, hey. Was that where we were supposed to say hi? That's the, yep, that was prompted you to, yep.

We've been doing this a long time. I know the cues. We're a well-oiled machine. We even finish each other's laundry. Thank you. I appreciate that, by the way. The starching is unnecessary, but I like a good folded basket of lingerie. Sentences!

Ah, yes. Ah, the French. I don't... What? Huh? Do you guys know that meme? I forget even who it was. It's a very famous actor or something.

It's like the guy who played the Godfather. I don't know. He just goes, Ah, the French. No, I thought you were calling out the French for no reason. Just, you know, what's up, Frenchies? Portugal! Hey, it looks cool. How do you say it like that?

I don't know. You know that meme where the guy yells Portugal? Is that an actual meme? Just started it right now. Just like the French one. Mine is a real meme. Mine is now. Portugal. I declare it.

Portugal. All right, before we get into this, I do have to say it's an exciting episode because every point that you earn is going to be brought to us by Intel. You'll get to hear that sound we all know and love the intel bong every time i award points today the stakes are high okay today there actually will be a winner and it won't be either of the competitors but also one of them will technically win it's complicated it's not complicated but i'm not explaining it well so it sounds complicated i'm so lost before we get into that party how's it how's it hanging

left right middle right now up straight at the ceiling oh yeah upside down kind of you know how i go into these episodes don't you get all worked up uh-huh that's how when i'm at my funniest like one of the corkscrews on a roller coaster at the moment it's hanging duck for you yes oh yeah a game all the way through this how this whole episode is going to be everybody quality entertainment from start to finish hey i'm having fun well we are getting older that's how time works yeah anything new in your lives i don't actually think i have anything to contribute

not that i that's the host that i have to i've personally been finalizing the edit of a some tv show that people have been very, very, very anticipatory for. Firefly? Yes. You're finally getting around to... I didn't even do that. How dare you? If I just try and say the name, it just...

Yeah. Does it by itself? I don't know. Yeah, it's a wonderful global technology that is watching over us. The universal computer. It's a new copyright technology. Oh, my God. that is watching over us the universal computer it's a new copyright technology oh my god the future the future where if you start playing something copyrighted that you don't have the world is just like nope can't play that song no as it should be if i try to say it also

oh wait wrong there got it did you get that make that good i's impressive sorry was that some sort of copyrighted letter you just spoke out loud oh yes say that one i tried to say the letter the brand new 27th letter of the alphabet copyrighted by google or someone probably or no who's the copyright troll company probably copyrighted by them i don't know i'd have to look at is are there copyright troll companies i mean that's the thing on youtube like a couple years ago right oh yeah probably still but there were companies that weren't just like oh we have that copyright i'm having more copyright claims on youtube right now than i have since like the first big wave of it like every day

it's like three new videos are being claimed somebody is mad at you stop making copyrighted crap well uh when we saw you in person together saw me i don't like that i will have had you go through and fix all my copyright claims for me guys thank you when i was staring in your window from a rainy moonlit night and thunderstorms were raging behind me. I saw you. I actually came over the other night, but I didn't want to stop watching you sleep, so I couldn't wake you. We will have had done that by the time this out. Yes, the great Bob Wade outing of 2022 to Los Angeles

will have occurred, yes. It's the first time we will have seen each other since the australia tour which was four years ago that's so insane no way is that true all three of us together i think that is true because i've seen mark yeah mark and amy mandy and i hung out with once in the interim yeah but all three of us being together yeah oh that's horrifying wait oh is my birthday post tour because mark was at my birthday too way didn't come to my birthday party but mark did yeah well that's because i'm a real friend host bob you missed go-karts all right well being a shitty friend who didn't leave you two to move

out west and still is in cincinnati yes i the worst. How could you not? Happiness, money, I don't know. It's so sad in California. You guys have great stuff out there. No rain, fire, land value that'll decrease whenever it's under the ocean

in a few years. It's great. I'm the next valley in from the ocean. We're going to be ocean front sometime in the next century. That's thinking positively. We picked the right spot, man. Well, I admittedly, I did just get back from a wedding that was in Wisconsin, and it was the first time that I had seen the leaves changing since I moved to L.A. I had this like, well, not since I moved to L.A., but like for five years.

It was this horrendous realization that like oh god this is a part of the world that i used to have every day of my life and just is no more and that made me sad oh but i'm happy if only there was some way to correct the mistakes of the past peen house peen house peen house oh yeah i forgot about Peahouse. Was it Peahouse or Peanhouse? It was both simultaneously. I mean, doesn't matter, I guess, yeah. Either and. Either and. Anyway, that wasn't really small talk about us,

but that was good catching up, guys. Yeah, good catching up. Oh, yes. I'm excited you two have had been hanging out. You know what? None of that's important. What is? Because now it's time to get to what is important.

With a new recurring segment, maybe, probably, called Adjective or Adjective. That's too narrow. This or that. Isn't that already a thing? This or that? Yeah, I know. That's like a... Maybe that's not.

Maybe that's someone else's already. A thing or thing? Thing or thing? Oh, okay. Maybe put some more music or I don't know. Do your thing, Will. Make that sound less awkward. Let's get the rights to use the song This or That.

That's probably outside the budget. Gotta be honest. Oh, Will, make your own song. Sing the lyrics and do the tune. Excellent. Probably outside the budget. Yeah. Gotta be honest. Do it for free? Pro bono. Probably outside the budget. Gotta be honest oh will make your own song sing the lyrics and do the tune excellent probably outside the budget yeah uh do it for free pro bono probably outside the budget gotta be honest okay uh no music no happiness nothing that's probably outside the budget is in the budget that was one too many i didn't follow the rules there is no budget uh today rule of six. Today, you and also me am deciding an important and generation-defining decision, okay?

Which one will it be, boys? Big or small? Oh, um... We guess you, we guess you, we guess to you. You don't have to decide right now. We're going to talk it through. But during today's discussion, we are going to talk about various things and decide ultimately in the entire universe from here until eternity for the rest of existence, whether it is better

to have, be, or otherwise exist in a state of big or small. It must apply to everything. can't have big big one thing and small other thing we're going to talk about all kinds of stuff and ultimately decide and everyone has to follow our decision whether big or small wins the other one gone forever no such thing no no small or no big ever again everything must be the one we choose see big stakes right told you oh i'm so confused but i'm ready and able and willing and able and willing able i'm so torn already it'll become clear it'll become clear we'll start we'll start slow and you guys are welcome to once we get into

it you're welcome to bring your own evidence basically i'm the judge of the episode and i'm the judge of this game you each get a vote you. You're allowed to agree. I'll just say we're going to start with cars. Big general topic. Vehicles. Motor vehicles. And you're allowed to both vote the same way. You're allowed to disagree. If there is a disagreement, I am the deciding vote. And it'll make more sense as we go. And I think this is going to be good. This is going to be good for everyone. No more confusion. You need a bigger one or a small one or whatever. No choice. We'll decide for you. Uh-huh. You ready?

Yes, I think. Maybe. No. Yes? I have no idea. All right. We're just going to ease into it. Like I said, cars, motor vehicles, electric or otherwise.

Which one, boys? Big or small? Oh. Is this all vehicles or specifically cars? No context from me. Just motorized vehicles that humans used for transportation big small big small big oh that was that was a lot faster than i thought we'd arrive at a vote but back it up because now i'm gonna have to decide i guess

why why i didn't know there was explanations that would be a part of this oh i'm prepared i've got my notes in front of me i don't want you to be prepared i want you to speak from your soul well i am i was making all that up to try to sound important okay good i thought you were cheating no but the reason i thought big was because of like mass transportation like public transportation systems rather than individualized cars and being able to move lots of things at once rather than having to move a little a lot of different times so uh there you go what about all those people that live in the cities what are they going to do with their big auto lock lazy little shits oh i say small because i and there was no qualifications for this questions i don't consider

train to be a motorized vehicle necessarily i would acknowledge that the So big cars. I'll say road going. We're saying road going. All right. All road going. So yeah, small. It's big as a plague in terms of road goers. You don't want big road goers all over your neighborhoods. There could be big road goers hiding behind bushes, lurking around corners, ready to jump

out at you at any moment. Spring up out of the ground from beneath the road. They swim in it like a shark. Like you know sharks you street sharks oh yeah terrifying yeah you remember that show well they haven't come to the bay yet you guys have street sharks in la the show street sharks the reality show about the sharks that live in the asphalt in the street the tv show yeah reality tv show street sharks no it's well. Yes, it is about reality. You know what you can do with Big? You can run over the sharks. The sharks aren't my concern.

Really got bogged down in the sharks. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, too much shark talk. More about Big is a symbolism for bigness, and now that's bad. Yep. I counter with no. Weak argument. I like it.

Thank you. Thank you. I guess I get to decide this one. I have to say, I lean with no. Weak argument. I like it. Thank you. Thank you. I guess I get to decide this one. I have to say I lean towards small. I like small because you don't, everyone doesn't need cars. You can have trains. That's why you'd have a big bus. You could have bicycle lanes.

You could have other forms of sort of mass transit. Also, you could potentially cheat and tow big trailers with small vehicles in a world where small things were designed to be powerful and good at that also now we're just making up stuff a small little car can pull a huge trailer no that's what semis are for big just because it is big doesn't mean it needs to be big yeah and i'm not saying everything has to be like a smart car or you know one-seater vehicle like a ford focus is small enough that's pretty small i gotta go small i gotta go small sorry wayne hell yeah that's points that's worth points internet you know who's right or viewers listeners watchers subs whoever whatever you're called

gentle audience dear dear members keep going you're almost there my space friends yeah uh tom voted tom tom voted big ah and you should too i didn't know that all right well do we understand do we all understand what we're doing now it feels like we do oh yeah oh yeah of course really yeah is this too yeah i'm getting screwed by make-believe rules again it's one thing calm down get it. There's never multiple layers to times you host. It's all on the surface. Yeah. It's all out in the open. Okay, well I'm glad we're together. You know what? I just want to let you guys know I'm so prepared today. I brought a

physical notebook with a pen that I checked and is working. Being prepared. That's two points for you, Bob. Two points for you. Ha ha! Yay. I'm not going to tell you how you win, but we have to first decide big or small. That's very important to the whole premise. The next thing I would like to talk about is cell phones.

Big or small? Because there's been kind of a cyclical thing, right? When they were first invented, a huge, like a briefcase mobile phone situation type deal. And they were constantly like gotta be smaller gotta be smaller until the like late 90s 2000s everything was like smaller smaller smaller and then at some point they were like wait a minute bigger cell phones how big can we go folding in half screens and all this stuff but which is really better big phone or small phone who's first i sounds like wade's first small really you don't want a huge screen to watch youtube on the screen is nice but we're gonna have the the projected

virtual reality images just holograms all around us eventually i don't need a big brick in my pocket i want something light that i barely feel so I can wear my comfortable gym shorts around and not have them falling off on one side or making me walk weird because I've got 30 pounds in my right pocket. Sounds like he wants big, but he's in big denial. He wants those big holograms and screens. My phone is huge and presents an even huger hologram. The biggest around. It could light up the sky with how huge it is. A big phone for a little man compensating are we have fun pressing those buttons with your ham fisted fingers don't need to and i can just look at the hologram and it knows what i'm thinking yeah the big hologram

or is that tiny too i bet it's too small to even see you gotta squint the hologram weighs nothing it could be as big or small as it wants to be and yet mine's still bigger huh weird i didn't realize this was gonna be so heated i have to be honest i thought dare you whoa whoa hey take it down a notch yeah calm down that's that's fighting words how dare you there you go perfect perfectly boring sounding uh but you disagree again which means i have to decide again i was sort of thinking we'd agree on some of these i kind of do this flip-flop i just with the new phone that came out the new iphone i got the bigger version right you always had the small one didn't you no i've alternated

almost every two years i alternate because i go like oh maybe i want the big one and then i go like oh no but look at the small one that'd be more convenient and then i'm like oh but so lately i'm in a big swing this is a this is a big phone year i hate dealing with big bricks i've always gone with the smaller version or at least the like medium one i never go with the biggest one well you also put a really thick case on yours i have to don't you have like one of those big otter box or whatever like super throw it off a building phone case type deals yes what do you do to your phone i'm always curious what people, because you don't like...

Nothing, it's protected. Well, but you don't like drop it a lot or anything. I get if you're... No, but I have a cat and I leave it sitting around and my cat likes to knock things off, so... Modern phones would survive with no case from the counter to a hard floor most of the time. Not in this house, Bob.

Nothing survives in this house. Okay, you have more gravity in your house or something he's got spikes along the floor you know it's too much mud dripping everywhere the water damage that could occur from any surface is incredible that's true the threat of imminent water damage is a probably a big concern things come down in this house art that aren't meant to go down someday your whole home is just to be sucked into the crust of the earth. What do we call you then? Magma man?

We'll take a silence as a yes. The crusty man. The crusty man. The crusty man can. He fixes it with mud and makes your water taste good. God, I hate that hate that crusty man are you having a nice morning you know who can ruin that the crusty man what do you want to blink your eye crust all these happy kids walk in and they leave all sad and dejected oh i hate that i wish the crusty

man was just a guy who made really good pie crust and that was that would be pretty cool you know you're just like crusty man i need two pie crusts for for thanksgiving you can go probably make a pie crust but it's also including all the other crusts you don't want it's full of mud too all varieties of crust fall within the Krusty Man's domain. Just as Aquaman can speak to all sea creatures. What about the crust? Krusty Man is the master of crusts. I don't like it.

You don't like it. You can always need more crust. Needs more crust. Needs more crust. I know what's wrong with it. Ain't got no crust on it. My pizza shop only does 99% crust and just a little drop of sauce in the middle. We make a deep dish. It's four inches thick. Just crust topped with one spoon of sauce.

No cheese, no meats, no veggies, middle dot sauce. It's more like a bowl with some sauce in the bottom of it. It's the last drip of soup yeah you get it if you leave it out on your counter for a week it becomes a cutting board you can use for generations to come bread bowls are a thing are there like pizza bowls where it's a crust with just like sauce and stuff in the middle just sauce cheese and veggies and meat you mean like a pizza well yeah but the bowl you don't eat the crust you like scoop out of it oh you don't eat the crust you just eat the toppings out of it you like eat the crust at the end like after you've emptied the contents in the

middle because they're real liquidy yeah this guy's crust only pizza but he still doesn't eat the crust you gotta save it for the next pizza uh-huh reusable crust bowls what is this i'm remembering is this an snl skit you guys seen cup of pizza oh it's uh the jerk the steve martin movie but the old pizza in a cup guy right out of business yeah it's just a big cup with with like sauce cheese and pepperoni in it pizza in a cup but imagine that the cup is crust cup is crust got it so it's it's a bad cup it's a bad cup but you call it a crop i nobody no one ever as far as i know better than a cussed yeah you know he's right you got us there you gotta give him some points for that one that that's a good point.

You're right. You're right. Good points get good points. That's what I always say. Thank you. And you both get a point for laughing at my joke. Man, I'm winning in Wade's game. Damn it.

He's giving me so many points today. I'm losing in both of these games. Yay! God! I love it. Anyway, good arguments all around. And obviously, i must conclude that wade is right on that one cell phone i thought we were talking about pizza i forgot

about the phones yeah the phone i'll take my point wade is right it's small i share your uh delusional dream though wade that the small phones will develop into the uh holographic hologramic holographic phones. Just like a projector or something, at least, you know, or they'll like implant something in my brain and I'll just hallucinate my phone. I'm here for that. That's the future. It might be. Yes. I mean, it's coming eventually. Like this technology always sneaks up on you, just like with all the image stuff. It's like every week there's a new development in it.

As soon as it hits a critical mass, it like starts accelerating and then um one day it'll be like oh we put a chip in someone's brain like it makes them all smarter and then in a year it'll be like you are an idiot and incompatible with humanity in the future if you don't have a chip in your brain because you literally can't do anything what if it could work twofold what if it like sucked up dust particles and then shot them in the air and then projected into the dust particles and sucked them back up. So clean your house, project holograms, and then reclean itself up. That makes complete sense. Wow, look at that.

The dust-o-suck-o-gram phone. Look at my phone, guys. Just don't breathe it in. Hey, then cell phones would really be in the cloud. Is that what that means? Two points for Bob. Imagine you're going into a hospital. It's like, oh, you're recovering.

Let me take a picture with my hologram phone. No! Then everyone's dead. The room fills with dust and everyone is okay. cell phones small i'm glad we agree yeah all right this next one i already know we're divided on because of how reality is but i want to discuss it okay dogs big and or pets in general but we all have dogs so i feel like that's a good context for us big big i feel like dogs are like boobs you can accept them at all sizes but if all have dogs so i feel like that's a good context for us big big i feel like dogs are like boobs you can accept them at all sizes but if i have to pick i like my small dogs i'll go

small dogs you guys know the reason i like small dogs over big dogs why there's really only one reason because i grew up with dachshunds and they're small and the one time i had a big dog it had separation anxiety and it did like twenty thousand dollars worth of damage between our house and my car oh my god so then i went back to your car yeah it we had a german shepherd that learned how to open car doors but it didn't know how to open them from the inside so it locked itself in my car like out in the sun in the heat in the summer and then it like it tried to chew its way out of my car damn geez did he make it yeah yeah well i i was looking for him and i was like mom where's the dog and she's like oh it should be uh blah blah blah so i went to look for him and couldn't find him and then finally like i opened up the door to the outside and my car was just all steamed up from him like panting and breathing in

there and i opened the door and he flew into the house to the water bowl oh man and then just pieces of leather were falling out of the car poor he ended up being okay i felt really bad for him but also like that was i think it was like 4 300 where the damage he did to my car it was a bad day i would like to claim insensitivity points. Just went through a thing with Chica having heat stroke, and this is very, very traumatizing for me to hear. I'm sorry, only your dog's allowed to have problems. My bad.

Those dogs are from so long ago. How rude of you to have had that happen to you, Wade. Yeah, my bad. My dog had back surgery this year, but you know who's keeping tally. Well, that's a current dog your other dogs are dead so i guess it doesn't matter she could not a current dog what happened no no no uh chica's alive she is alive and and has all of uh legs and also the rest of whatever dogs have she's fine she's fine she's fine definitely great i don't know who won or lost that part

well it's not over yet i'm just curious so that's literally like the main and only reason you like small dogs over big dogs though like do you like hanging out with big dogs and stuff yeah i really don't mind big dogs at all i like all dogs what if you got a big dog that was not so particularly challenging because not all dogs have that. I mean, that's fine. One of my favorite dog breeds is a husky, but I don't think they do super well in Cincinnati because of their thick coats. Oh, they're so loud. Oh my God.

But they're so beautiful. I had one when I was really young, but they're such a beautiful dog. But those are big dogs. You can sit there with your earplugs covered over by your sound canceling headphones while your husky screams at all hours of the night yeah no i i feel bad having a husky in any kind of warm environment i just like i exactly i just can't do that to them that's true but at the same time they are very beautiful and very loud yes having been on pet tiktok the main thing i know about huskies is that they scream and that's it yeah but other than that you have chica and chica is a very sweet dog and adorable that's alive yes that is alive and has

legs uh-huh many legs more than one inch for sure all of the number she's supposed to have yes yes do you have any strong reasons mark did a small dog do a small amount of damage to your car as a child no it's not necessarily that i got nothing against small dogs is that and i don't mean to generalize but they're just kind of a little bit on the dumb side sometimes and like when it comes to dogs it's really like i have a dog because of companionship and uh kind of also dependability i'm not saying small dogs aren't dependable but they are very helpless and it feels like it's a one-sided exchange where I'm just like preventing death from approaching a tiny dog from all angles.

I've never really had a small dog, but that's what it feels like. Cats are small, but they can fend for themselves. And like, they are very self-sufficient. But when it comes down to like a dog, Doug, what I always imagine is just like a larger dog, whether it's a golden or any other breed. And it's just like that, that level of intelligence, intelligence like is just like having that connection and like the understanding the it's it's that marveling of like it the dog constantly understanding certain things and also in chica's case she's the intelligence really doesn't shine through very hard i was gonna say i

think both of my dogs are about four times as intelligent as poor Chica. Well, Chica puts off a much dumber energy, stupider energy than I think is fair to Chica. I know she's not like helpless idiot. She saw a light reflecting off my watch and tried to eat a brick wall. She has her quirks. She literally ate a wall in your old house. Oh, you've never eaten a wall. Everybody makes mistakes. Yeah, come on. I've eaten a wall in your old house. Oh, you've never eaten a wall. Everybody makes mistakes. Yeah, come on.

I've eaten a wall. She learned it from me. It's fine. Also, dogs do reflect their owners. They do. What about you, Dad? It's like Ethan described me one time, which is, I'm the smartest dumb man he's ever met. And I'm like, I think that's Chica.

She's the smartest. Well, I'm not saying she's dumb. Do you think short people are dumber than tall people? Be careful with this one. It's a trap. Yes, yes, I agree. Wholeheartedly. The bigger you are, the smarter. Clearly. Brain size comparisons, yada yada. All right. Points for me and Bob. Points for me and Bob. and yada yada. All right.

Points for me and Bob. Points for me and Bob. No, it's just like it's just what I grew up with. And also some dogs are small dogs are annoying. So Mark hates small dogs. I like all dogs. Wow.

That cuts. That's a political commercial right there is what that is. My opponent hates small dogs. Whereas my platform includes love for all dogs of all sizes and levels of stupidity markiplier hates meager mutts vote wade today wow you what are you calling him man so rude i'm gonna take the sound bite of you just like uh hate meager mutts this is what my opponent

has said about your dog well now i can take it from you saying it too oh yeah what are we all saying meager mutts i heard it i heard wade you said me saying it'll be me saying meager mutts can't believe now i can get you saying me saying me. You have me, I have me, do me, you. And what did my opponent say at his last rally? Me saying meager mutts. See, he hates you, meager mutts. Me said it. Me is him in this context.

He said me, which means him, not me. May I ask me something? If you're tired of all these political ads, why don't you come down to Wadeo's and get you a nice crump of pizza? It's a callback. It was. That just tied the whole thing together. If that was what we were deciding today, I think you just won the whole thing, Wade.

It's not, though, so you didn't. Okay. I still have a chance. Yeah, I do feel biased because I have a very strong kinship with the big dogs because I'm a big dog myself, if you know what I mean. And I always have like a connection to big dogs. Or Lexi. But I love small dogs way, way more.

But it's hard for me because I feel like you guys are making me decide this. And I have to caveat my answer by saying Mark is 100 correct some small dogs are so fucking annoying that i like they're intolerable they're yappy and what and it's not even whole breeds right there are just some breeds that have potential and or tendency to be really yappy and annoying and aggressive but like most small dogs in general, that you can pick them up and scoop them like a little baby and sit on your lap and they won't accidentally make it so you can't have babies anymore in the future.

I gotta go with small dogs. Ah, damn it. Chica does like to punch me right in the nuts all the time. She loves to, whenever I'm around Chica, she loves to snoot me right in the nuts. She time. She loves to, whenever I'm around, she lets us snoot me right in the nuts. She loves to walk up and just be like, hey, bonk. Oh yeah, she does do that.

She just walks right up into the ball. It's completely sweet and adorable, but also I'm always like, ha! Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. If I'm going to be fair though, my dogs, we have a little ramp for them to get up and off the sofa so they don't have to jump because of Ginger's back surgery.

So they'll, like, run up on the ramp, and then, like, to get across to the part of the couch they want to be on, they, like, sprint hop, like bunny hop across, and they land right on your dick every time they try to get to their spot. Hell yeah. So they don't boop. All their body weight is just, like, plus the amazing extra gravity of this house makes it feel like a 40-pound weight is just falling right on your dick. Don't love that. 15 pound dog.

Don't love that. Yeah. Yeah. But I do love small dogs. Congratulations, Wade. Thank you. Thank you. You did it.

I do have some small dogs. All right. Well, a lot of disagreements still. I'm a little surprised, but it's been, it's been interesting. We'll agree eventually. I didn't know if we were supposed to agree, so. You're allowed to agree, but you don't have to. You're giving me all the power basically here.

I was trying to set you up to say, no, we won't. Fine with me. You kind of do have the power. You're the judge. I was just, you know, it's a discussion. We're just deciding this for the entire world. If anyone were to break in to Distractible HQ and claim the throne of judge, they would have all the power in the world.

We wouldn't be able to stop them. They would rewrite the rules. They wouldn't be able to get in if Distractible HQ just had more mud. Well, that's why we keep the crown of Distractible in that drawer. The drawer? Apple watch screen is made of no it's in a case made out of that shallow grave in the basement sapphire crystal display glass it's got a hardness of nine on the hardness scale rickster scale or yeah the hard scale hard scale rickster is not the right word no No, that's the one for earthquakes, I think.

Yeah. I don't know much about those. We don't have them here in the good part of the country to live in. Yes, you do. Yeah. They're rare. I've never felt an earthquake in my life. I definitely have experienced an earthquake in Cincinnati at some point when I was in college.

Yeah. It was like nothing, but it was technically an earthquake. Yeah. It's almost like the earth moves everywhere oh he doesn't believe you yet finish making your point about the facts of the universe mark all right i'm done oh that's right it's just a fact that school children know anyway there's a clip sorry to sidetrack there was a clip of tim the tat man discovering that tectonic plates were

a thing and that if you dig down in an island it wouldn't just be water underneath oh no i don't know how real it is but it's very funny oh god i like it i don't watch i don't watch tim but i kind of know his personality and i believe that completely no discredit to him it was really funny no i mean that's just hilarious everyone has some kind of knowledge gap i'm sure that i have exactly the same type of thing somewhere in my brain if my accumulation of knowledge yeah i also believe it well it was it live on stream though i'm assuming because it's a clip of it yeah so i'm sure it was the discussion that came up and someone was like yeah and tim was like that's not a thing i think it

was started from like talking about florida and if you dig down in florida he's like wouldn't it just be water at a certain point oh no oh no i think i get where the misunderstanding comes from like the idea of a water table and and that kind of idea but at the same time it is pretty much like oh no i kind of want to go look that clip up now but now's not the time now's not the time this is important yes focus i'm not big enough of a streamer to go after tim so i'll just say I understand. Go after him? Are you going to go after him for that?

I can't believe you guys are going after him like this is starting this Twitter drama. Let's keep dragging him, guys. He's almost down. Roast him harder. I can't do it. My clout is not enough. It's a battle I'll lose. Oh, my clout.

My clout is weak. Even if I have correctness on my side it can't overpower the stupidity of social media how dumb are you calling tim here what are you saying i don't i don't know i call social media dumb not tim i think he was just complimenting tim's clout is he social media he might be of course he is it's no longer tom it's now Tim. Tim? What happened to Tom? It was Tom the no-tat man. Now he's Tim the tat man. Oh, God. You've changed, Tom.

I think he prefers Tim now. Oh. What if I say Tom? He won't know who I'm talking about then. He's forgotten his roots. He's addressing someone else. Okay. What a barn burner how many uh uh notes do you have to get through and how many have we gotten through 35 and we've decided three that's just like my

tier list episodes these are not all we're not supposed to get through everything i have listed i've made a big list and you're welcome if you have an interest in which way we go big or small small is pretty dominating right now you can bring your own thing for debate I welcome it but I have another one is small pretty dominant in a 2-1 victory right now it's 3-0

isn't it we did big phones yeah big phones did we do small phones it is small isn't it big the first one. Oh no, we did big phones! Yeah, big phones. No, you did small phones. Did we do small phones? You did big for the first one. No, small car. It is small, isn't it? 3-0. Oh, wow. It's all smalls. It's all smalls. Small phones.

Small dog. Each of you did not vote all three, but we decided that I decided them all to be small. I'm just so used to winning that I forgot Mark won once. How large a sample size do you need for statistical significance? Three. Oh, oh well there's probably other issues that invalidate no it must be three that's what i heard oh okay wait

statistics i thought those were a myth i don't like tectonic plates those aren't real gotcha tom all right we need to do at least one to five more. Why? Because I want to hear your opinions. You guys should check out Distractible. That was very effective promotion. I have a feeling they are did. Thank you.

Well, they will now if they weren't. But this one's about a thing we like, guys. Uh-huh, okay. I mean, I like phones and dogs. Yeah, well, this is about a thing that's really important to us do not say boobs because i refuse to choose that's on here but i don't want to i'll get into that that's complicated i want to talk about video game developers big or small i don't really care how tall or short they are yeah we're talking about the

physical size of the individual or like metaphor metaphorically, AAA or indie, big or small? Not to keep the small train going, but I go small just because I like the creativity. And I'm always about like individuals having complete creative control and a singular vision, which is extremely rare in a larger studio to have like that cohesive idea permeate through it. It's like it it's like it's very much i'm a big champion of like the individual creator in that aspect so i gotta go small i hate to be that guy here but i agree yeah you know what now that i think about it i'm that was not that disagreeable of a thing i mean having a bigger budget and stuff is great but so many

games seem to like just the bigger the company gets the more they kind of lose their way with what they started with and how it becomes less great i don't know oh you like small indie games name one uh your mom got him got him still pulled one out from under you i guess i would probably end up on small as well but i was thinking one of you guys might like big i view like the big studios like the big triple a stuff as like an action movie like my favorite movies are i mean all movies that get into theaters are relatively big compared to real indie movies but my favorite movies are one for the legend of el diablo what is that is that your indie film putting on a movie like a college made film or something. I've got the DVD here. It's a terrible movie that I love and I watch it sometimes. Worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

And I'm so proud to own it. I remember that story. What was it supposed to be? Well, I thought it was based on the video game Diablo. I thought it was going to be based on that series. I was like, oh, that'll be cool. Oh, right. God, that's a classic distractible story.

The Legend of Diablo is not, in fact. From the episode so bad it's good classic it is based on the uh quote unquote popular comic book it says i don't know what comic book popular with whom with whom the guy who wrote it i think i'm probably the only person outside of whoever was in this or made it that owns a copy and i'm proud of that fact it's impressive that is impressive everyone else out there owns it let me know on the subreddit was i why are we talking about movies oh anyway i was gonna say i prefer the movie that's more nuanced and indie as compared to like 150 million dollar michael bay explosion fest but i also like the michael bay explosion fest and that's how i feel i like i play ea sports games i know

they're kind of the same thing recycled year after year i like them and like i kind of like call of duty for a long time i usually play the campaign whenever the new cod comes out i probably will again this year it feels like trashy but it's like trashy that i enjoy as a comfort i have respect for a bad movie occasionally or like a popcorn flick yeah yeah but ultimately i would have to agree with you guys small game studios have made some very fascinating games that have been much more interesting than okay bad choice that's on me you know what that's a hosting mistake all right this one you have to probably will disagree on maybe not i'm not gonna thinking that through what festivals and or

conventions this includes anything like a like a ren fair like a like a pax or whatever twitch con all these sorts of things or like you know local like tabletop gaming or like a magic the gathering sort of tournament festival thing all all ranges of things anything that's like a festival convention get together meet up whatever big or small uh is it me first this time yeah sure yeah uh i mean prior to covid i liked both a lot but i i found as i've gotten older and even like just through knowing myself i like smaller get-togethers like i feel like you have more time to talk to each person whenever it's like a smaller get-together versus like a huge group thing I feel like I'd prefer a smaller festival or a smaller group gathering because it's like more time to enjoy each thing whereas the big ones with like the

crowds the lines and so on and so forth it just becomes exhausting and overwhelming more so than I don't know time to really enjoy anything a whole lot. So I'm going to go small. I mean, here's the thing. I would love to say small from like, but we're talking like conventions here. Yeah, not like friend group get together. It's more like organized thing. Yeah, because small conventions are usually very don't have as many booths. They don't have as many people there. They don't draw as many people in.

They don't draw as many friends in. And I don't really go to conventions at all anymore, especially after COVID. But I got to say, like, there's something to be said about a big convention. My first experiences with conventions were San Diego Comic-Con, which is one of the biggest conventions in the world. And there's some kind of like wondrous feeling to having that, see if people are there for a specific reason. So honestly, as much as I get the idea of of like yeah less people but for the purpose of a convention i don't think a convention can be too small or it can be too small in a certain aspect but i feel like a bigger convention leads to more interesting experience well for

convention specifically i would agree but we talked about festivals and other things too so i was thinking like little music festivals and even festivals even festival top things i think that there there's uh definitely a power in crowds because the idea of going to a place with other people there's a word for it i always forget it there's a word for the experience of a shared human connection as a crowd experience is something they all like it's there's a word for it and there's a literal physiological effect when a large group of people experience something that moves everyone at the same time it's why people like concerts. It's why people like big things, even if they are a pain in the ass. So even that, even like the, I want to go to the world's biggest Ren Fair. I want to go to the

world's biggest comic book convention. I want to go to the world's biggest like YouTube convention. I want to go to those. The others just don't really draw you in as much. I get your point. And I agree with it. And I proposed at a convention. So yeah, I've got a pretty good connection to those. And having like the whole crowd there for that was pretty awesome. I'll be terrifying in the moment. But I don't know, there was like a,

how small is that to be to count as small? Cause there was like a little fish eating festival here in Cincinnati that still had like probably hundreds of people, but comparatively to like a PAX to me is pretty small but I mean there's like you know 20-30 booths of different places where you can go and try like fish and shrimp and things like that and I was there with like family and friends and Molly and we just kind of walked around tried some food it was really intimate but really just enjoyable

and not overwhelmingly crowded that I enjoyed too so I don't know I guess it's hard to differentiate those two things because you're wanting different things from them so if you're grouping all of it together i guess i don't know which way i'd lean conventions specifically you're talking like a pax like pax south was probably the least fun pax because it was the smallest one and they didn't have that many different games and things like after an hour on the floor you've seen everything so yeah bigger was better for that but some of the festivals where you just don't want to have to wait in lines for hours and hours to do something i just like the smaller feel. So I guess it's hard to differentiate those two in my brain.

Too bad you've already made your choice. Right? Right, Judge? I mean, he said it. He did say it. He declared it. I guess you're locked into that, Wade. Oh, okay.

Mark made a new rule. No changes. No take backsies. Actually, that's a pretty well-established rule. I want to make a new rule. Mark can't make rules. From here on out, I guess, but it's too late for established rule i want to make a new rule mark can't make rules from here on out i guess but it's too late for the rule that mark already made damn it can i make another rule no because you that rule would effectively be a takes backsies of

the rule that was made yeah no take backsies that's already well established now that's lore that's lore it wasn't really take backs it was more like an addendum an addendum where you take back what you said and change it. No, I stand by liking small festivals, but big conventions. No addemdoozies. No amdemdoms. No doondoos. We grouped a lot of things together that are kind of different.

Yeah, well, it's a tough choice. We're deciding something for the entire universe at large. It's not easy, okay? But you have to take a stand. And I took a stand on multiple fronts. Mark only talked about conventions. You took two stands. I mean, he talked about everything though.

I, and I, I would say I have to generally agree with Mark. Play the bong, Will. I totally appreciate what you're talking about, Wade, because I've been- I doth protest. I've been to like the county fair, you know, or like what's really fun in Ohio is in the fall,

there's these farms we'll put up like, well, that's more of an attraction than an event. But we had events. My school had an event where it was like, there's a corn maze, there's a pumpkin patch. This is like the stuff. It's fun when there's like maybe a hundred to a few hundred people together. And it's very casual, especially if you know a lot of people. And I appreciate that. But if I'm going to a concert, a Ren Fair, a convention for video games or otherwise like Comic-Con or whatever, I'm going to a concert, a Ren Faire, a convention for video games or otherwise like Comic-Con or whatever. I'm going to hang out with friends, which a bigger one is likely to attract more of

my friends to all want to go. But also I'm going for like spectacle. I went to E3 because I wanted to go into the Xbox theater and see the game announcements and see Keanu Reeves come out on stage. And I want to see the costume contest where there's like 100 people all lined up in this costume. And they're like the highest caliber of costumes you've ever seen. And it's fantastic.

And the stuff that you can't experience, because I feel like you can experience community in a lot of ways other than festivals and fairs or whatever, like small town type stuff or small get togethers. But the spectacle of a huge crowd all getting excited about the same thing or or freaking out about the same crazy thing you just saw all together whatever mark

that word he was trying to define that i also don't know yeah that is the thing about big like big concerts i've done big concert festivals before and it's exhausting and there's so many people and it's kind of gross but also watching your favorite band play with like a few thousand or ten thousand other people there and everyone's singing and jumping and whatever that's a singular experience i have to go with big on this one it's hard to capture that in any other setting well i'm glad it sounds like we all three disagree but i technically disagree how do i disagree with mark i disagree with you well i agreed with all those points but you staked your claim on the wrong side. That's true, and then a rule was made afterward.

That's fair, I guess. No unstaking. You stuck. You stuck. Your claim was already stank. No unstakesies. Which is just an extension, not a modification of the established rule, no take backsies. Yes.

It's really more of a term of art as opposed to a change of definition. And I think no takes backsies is from which all human laws are derived pretty much oh and or laws relating to no take back sees such as actions you cannot take back sees like murder like murder no takes back sees on the murder no i would allow take back sees i mean if we could if we could figure that out that'd probably be pretty cool but i don't think you can take back sees on murder i'm pretty sure that's how that works well if we find a way you guys state your claim that you wouldn't support it and i do he got us there he's got us there we can't take backsies what we said when you're right you're right so moral point for me i'll take it moral victory for wade meaningless victory as morality tends to be in this world.

All right. Well, I don't know how I feel about this one, but I want to talk about it because I'm curious what you're going to say. Uh-oh. The next one is teeth. Big or small. It has to be substantially bigger than the biggest size of tooth that's within the median range of what humanity has. And also smaller teeth, substantially smaller teeth than where the normal median, normal is a rude word to say but like where where

the average falls as far as tooth size in humanity because there's a wide range you get people with comparatively much larger or smaller teeth than each other which is part of genetics and stuff but i'm talking like giant chompers giant chompers or nibblers okay which is? We're human only, right? Humans only. Humansonly.com. God. Man. This, because the, are there tiny teeth? Are there more of them to compensate? Because that affects.

Well, you need a whole mouthful. Yeah, no. Oh, God. You have the same tooth area. Or there'd just be more gaps in between. There could be gappy. Oh, no. Are there'd just be more gaps in between. It could be gappy. Oh no. Are there layers? No.

Arranged in what would be a stereotypical human arrangement. I'm assuming you'd have the same amount of teeth. They'd just be smaller so there'd be gaps in between. What if they're all just bunched up in the front or off to one side? Empty in the back. Yeah because this dictates how I think.

Very person to person, Mark. Why would it do that? Evolutionarily, that doesn't make any sense. Why do people's teeth differ person to person? They don't really. Evolution has no meaning. Humanity has developed medicines and food supplements. No, no, no. No, I have to believe.

I have to believe that this was a change in the course of evolutionary history where big teeth are just humans have big teeth or humans have lots and lots of small teeth. It has to be one or the other. I can't just be like, oh, magically they're bigger or smaller. Because if they're bigger, then all of a sudden I wouldn't be able to open my mouth anymore and get anything in. I would die. A wizard cast a spell and all teeth get big or small.

No, this is a wizard's here. This is science. I established this rule. No take backsies. No, this is wizards here. This is science. I established this rule. No take backsies. No, no, no. You're taking backsies what was originally human. You're taking backsies

what was human and what was earned through... You don't like it when someone establishes a rule, do you? Generations of evolution. You are abusing the power of take backsies.

I sure am. Is he allowed to abuse the power of take backsies. I sure am. Is he allowed to abuse the power of take backsies? Absolutely. There was no rule about abusing take backsies. There was simply a rule that there are no take backsies. All right. Okay.

Well, then by the law of take backsies, I declare, I declare that this entire question is invalid because take take backsees from the root of what makes the tooth the tooth. And there is unlike any other question that has been substantiated at this point, been a situation where one or the other exists and yet no evidence has been presented to which this occurs without takes backseeing the very fundamental basis of what a tooth is and it disregards all the functional backsees that have been established for the entire history of toothdom as far back as life exists this entire premise is invalid all right so mark refused to answer i'll say small because if it bothers you cosmetically you can just get dentures. There you go. Answered. Look, Mark, I know that

before we started recording I oathed you guys into this episode and you swore to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. But as the judge, the rules basically don't apply to me. You understand that, right? If you have small, gappy teeth, you can squirt your pizza from your crup out through your

teeth. But that's not what I'm... You could do that with your normal teeth if you have a gap. What I'm thinking is many teeth, if it fills the same volume, you have thousands of tiny teeth. And I bet they fall out all the time. I think you have the same amount. They're just small and gappy. Well, then you basically don't have teeth. You just have gums.

So you don't even have functional teeth. You have roots on which you can have implants put in i guess according to wade yeah but then you would just have normal teeth and therefore you wouldn't have small teeth you would just get it fixed immediately therefore the entire like premise is a little bit thrown off with that definition of small teeth well maybe you should have gone with small teeth then for it to be teeth they have to function right they have to still be functional in my mind it can be functional you could eat tiny food with small teeth i don't know it seems like they'd work on a certain scale there's those tiny little corn cobs baby corn is just corn to a person with tiny teeth you could

eat applesauce with tiny teeth because you'd have gums that's basically all you'd have unless unless each tooth was like suddenly divided into a hundred tiny teeth, but it's in the same place. They're all stuck together into the shape of one tooth. Yeah, they're all like conglomerated. Yeah, exactly. It's a teracoma of teeth in your teeth. Why did you make that? That's what I've been imagining the whole time.

They're like Legos. We just absorb our ancestors and take their teeth to add to ours to make a better mouth. Every time you eat, it's like a weird anime fight and some tiny teeth get scraped off the edge of the bigger tooth conglomerate. Yeah, exactly. You're like a shark. You've got rows and rows of more tiny teeth that are waiting to push into the amalgamation of teeth

just to replace what you've lost. I just pictured a normal mouth with smaller teeth. I don't know. Maybe I'm the weird one here. There's no clear way how this would happen in humanity. Mark has a fair point. So I'm going to go big because everything about small teeth that I imagine is a nightmare. You already abstained.

I thought there was no take backsies. You don't have to take backsies. I'm not, I'm doing nothing. So he's allowed, he did not changing anything. He's just finally choosing to commit. Yeah. Commitment issue Mark over here. He went from refusing to answer to answer. I choosing to commit. Yeah. Commitment issue. Mark over here. He went from refusing to answer to answer.

I feel like that's a take back. He's a refusal. You can't take back. He's non-action. Yes, exactly. Non-action is nothing. Okay. We're still just making up rules that God didn't put.

No, no, no. This is not makeup. Back. Sees represents the idea of first going forward. Z's. You have to go forward. Z's to not back. Z's. I did to go forward Zs to not back Zs. I did not go forward Zs.

Mark never advanced Zs his position. Yes. I feel like you went forward with refusing to answer and then you went back and decided to answer. No, I started from zero. You can't go negative into back Z action. I'm right. I'm right.

The dumbest serious sentence ever uttered separate i dare you to find a more serious sentence ever uttered that was somehow more stupid if we were working in certain contexts of the american legal system the decision of non-action is potentially an action but in the context of boy rules in which the take back sees context exists non-action is just fear of commitment a trait that most men share it is not an action that must be back tooken and thus changing from non-action to commitment is not a take back situation as we all know thank you sure so mark wins the debate unfortunately for mark i gotta side with wade on the on the small situation no no it's horrible you don't know the curse you're unleashing the thing that gets me is the the big teeth fundamentally changes especially potentially in your vision of it mark it changes like what a person looks like it represents either evolution or i don't know

radiation caused deformation of humanity in a way where it's like either your whole head is big or just your jaw is big and it changes the the fundamental like aesthetic of what a human is in general even though that really poorly applies across all different you know races and locations and genetic makeups of what humanity is as a whole imagine your back teeth being bigger you couldn't even like close your mouth all the way well oh now you're worried about function ah i see function comes in when it's not convenient i present too big i present to the court the evidence of the mask. Which?

The Jim Carrey movie? If you look up Jim Carrey's The Mask, he endured the entire movie with dentures that were comically larger than his actual teeth, preventing him from many of the different things that enabled him to do, and yet he looked goddamn fantastic not nightmare-esque he looks sharp as shit look at those big freaking chompers so you're assuming that everyone's gonna have big teeth that are exactly that size and are perfectly designed well humanity is a range wait it's not all gonna be exactly the same just google big teeth and look

at images of big teeth that way i'm gonna do that but that, but I'm going to be really mad at you when I do. I'll look up big teeth. Big teeth people is the first thing that comes up if you just type big teeth into Google. It's fine. Oh, these aren't even that big. Even these people with big teeth are nothing compared to the mask. And that is because those teeth are prosthetics and they are huge. I will say in my personal envisioning of the situation, I did think exactly of the mask,

Jim Carrey in the mask. And that represented like the bottom bound of what I would consider big teeth in my hypothetical. Like the lower tier of big teeth. I would say those are bigger teeth in the way that they look and how the dentures fit him those are bigger teeth than fall within you know not big like the middle range of where humanity is right now generally so i have to say i'm i already wrote way down smallest tier of small teeth though for having this point it wouldn't be that big of a change uh-huh small teeth wouldn't make that big of a change uh-huh small

teeth wouldn't make that big of a difference either it'd be the same exact thing if you're just thinking of it slightly smaller slightly smaller slightly bigger but think of the extremes extremely small versus extremely big that's where the change becomes like you you can have your small shark teeth falling out of your mouth nonsense i'll be over here looking great in my yellow zoot suit with my giant teeth and green face which i i'm assuming it comes with it if you have oversized back teeth your mouth will not even close all the way or they your teeth won't align you can't chew i'll get braces this guy over here that won't shrink them that just means your mouth wouldn't close it'll move

them so that they align and i can teeth and my jaw will move. There is facts of dentistry that establish that the face and its different plates move and shift over time. My face would adjust. I would get more handsome. There's no downside to big teeth. After all of this discussion, I am happily sticking with small. I have to admit, I have tooketh back.

I had wrote a weighed point down down for this one you literally think big teeth better now mark brought up a movie that i both enjoy and specifically envisioned in thinking about this as a as a point of discussion smaller tier of big teeth still counts it does but think bigger than that and think smaller than slightly small teeth and which one would you rather have extraordinarily small teeth would essentially be no teeth at all which is both a functional problem and would be extraordinarily large teeth that would be a problem but which one is easier to fix cosmetically i I mean, without what? Oral surgery and tens of thousands of dollars in having implants and or dentures

or whatever made and put in and all this stuff. I don't know. Braces are annoying, but I had braces for a long time. If your teeth are too large, braces aren't going to do anything. No, fundamentally, Wade, if your argument is just replace the tiny teeth

that had been magicianly given to you, you can do the same with big teeth. Yeah, then that's not respecting the premise. I don't know how expensive like a pair of dentures would be to put on. Now, if you're replacing each tooth individually, sure. But you have to pull each large tooth and replace it that way. It's the same as pulling out the small ones. The root is still the same.

The nerves are still the same. A doorknob is still going to be your free alternative to tooth surgery. You just pop in a pair of dentures. Why? What is it going to mount on? They mount that to the jaw. It's cosmetically. It's for the cosmetic appeal.

They mount it to the jaw. I think that's easier to do than dealing with a big teeth. They grind your teeth away first. And if you don't have a tooth there, guess what they mount it to? Big teeth allow for better surgical options if you have them other than no teeth that don't exist and then they have to like do it to your jaw i'm getting we're talking about slightly bigger slightly smaller sure but i'm thinking of the extremes here and even in the extremes i am absolutely shocked to say this but mark has convinced me that sounded meaner than i

i went into this biased towards small congrats on the two of you being the only ones who will feel this way well i will watch the subreddit and we'll see how this shakes out unless they are flat out just like blindly devoted fans if they use their brains they will agree with me because the arguments i'm presenting are all reasonable it's all reasonable i don't think so i think you guys are thinking small term like slightly bigger teeth you know what undercuts your weight is that it's based with kind of the assumption that you'll deal with them by just covering them up or replacing hiding them cosmetically you're not embracing the small teeth you're ignoring the

issues and then saying oh you'll just fix it with money yeah yeah i'm committing to that no take back these oh new man this this time sure and when you have teeth so large you can't close your mouth then what are you going to do then? Oh, you'll fix them with what? Braces, which cost what? Oh yeah, money. No, insurance covers braces probably. Yeah, or like I said, a doorknob can rip those out for free. Oh yeah, what does insurance cost? Money. I said doorknob. Tie a string, pull them out, free.

So your solution to fixing big teeth is to remove the big teeth and have virtually small teeth. It was not my solution. That was my argument against your solution. Yes, I'm living with them. Not if you can't close your mouth. If you live from birth and as you grow, your teeth are just that large. There's a limit to how much your body can adapt, but your body can adapt. The way your jaw and facial structure grows might adapt enough for

you to be able to live with insanely large teeth i don't know i'm not a science doctor you know what you for sure know though with small teeth you'll be fine he's so worried you're so afraid yeah as long as you have the money for dentures or an expensive implant as a person who needs a tooth implant i can tell you it's surprisingly expensive. If they are so small you need it, then you have to consider the inverse. If they're so big, you can't close your mouth. No, I have considered my inverse

is the inverse that I was doing of yours. You're arguing against my argument of the inverse of yours. And you were ignoring the base premise that I am okay with big teeth. Big, but overly big. The reality is if they're too big for you to live with, you'll die before it's an issue. And if they're too small for you to live with, you either have money or you got small teeth.

And apparently I'm on the side of dying before your big teeth are a serious problem. Oh, you're like seven years old. Your adult teeth start coming in. It's time to die. Good choice, guys. Good choice. Well, this is why I wanted to establish evolutionary boundaries. I stick by living with small teeth than dying with big ones.

Oh, have fun with your wizard and your tiny shark teeth. Your millions of rows of small teeth that are conglomerating. Because if you're imagining mine, I'm imagining yours. I don't know why you have to have more teeth and they're sharp. Alright, alright. Well, I can't possibly take back these twice so I gotta go with... I didn't think you could even do it once, but hey,

I guess I'll watch you guys break the rules. I impress my own self sometimes. I gotta go with big on that one. He's incredible, his judgment. Sup, Brennan, can you tell me the rules of this episode please i'm starting to not understand i don't know what you want it wasn't all right it really was i mean it wasn't but i liked it let's be honest all right that's fair that's fair you like that he said

jim carrey and the mask let's be really honest who doesn't you do you not like the mask i love the mask it's one of my favorite movies well then you understand you not know me and that any pop culture reference that i like is basically the way to win me over in any situation guess not oh but i'm taking notes for the future yeah don't don't remember that guys can you send me a list of pop culture things you like oh lots of them thanks man funny one funny stuff great good good ones you know that's pretty specific right all right search for not wade oh i tell you you're funny babe just move on all right this one it will not be as divisive i can't imagine anything being as divisive as that was i can't believe that one was divisive we're gonna try this one and this is possibly the last one schools Schools, big or small? And this could be any level of education,

primary school, all the way through high school, all the way through any higher education stuff, universities, colleges, whatever. Would you rather attend or have your child attend big school or small school? I have my answer already. Do you need time, Mark? You go ahead. I will say small because I feel like with a big school, it kind of reminds me of like going to college and some of like the bigger classes I took where there were just like 100 kids. There was so little individual attention from the professor or teacher that I felt a lot less connected. Whereas in smaller classes in college and even like the 20 to 30 size classes in high school, I felt like there was more time for my questions specifically to be addressed. I had more one-on-one time with the teacher.

I knew my classmates a little bit better, so I had more people to like talk to for help or questions or whatever. I don't know. I just, my brain tells me that I feel like a smaller setting with more individualized time from the teacher professor would be more likely to have success. I feel like that would be the better way to get people to perform better in school. I think I've been to a small school before. It was one of the first schools I went to, Calvary Christian Academy. What was great about it is just like it was so small that you knew everybody and you had the same teacher for a few years. I can't say anything about the educational benefit of it just because I only went there till I was third grade.

I had the option of going to either a small engineering school or UC. The small one usually is much more expensive. And college, yeah. Yeah, but in private school too. That small school was also a private school. Yeah, I guess private schools would be smaller. I think that I really do want to agree with small, but I think practically in the world, small school means private.

That's almost always what it means. And private schools are expensive. They're exclusive. And I don't really like my experiences with private schools because I couldn't afford them. And also like, I'm not saying systemically wide, there's probably like bigger issues that I have no idea about versus like public versus private school. But I do think that there is a benefit to having a good public school education, but that almost always comes

from a large school. And there's money saving benefits for college. This is entirely a practical answer. I'm going to go big just because practically for most people out there, I have to. And for a lot of kids growing up, maybe like the bigger school, it's easier to like blend in, but probably means more bullies. I don't know. But this is boring answer i'm gonna say big for those reasons i feel like in capitalist sure bigger makes more sense but i feel like if you're talking about performance oh absolutely there's no doubt small education quality it would be small school probably usually do better like big schools i imagine would have more funding they could probably have more programs they probably have better things for um like art classes uh special needs right uh that kind of stuff transportation good arguments for big keep

going yeah but i mean like i'm agreeing with you on that front but small yeah but i feel like the point of school is to get an education and the better education is going to come from more individualized attention and i think that's a smaller school yeah but that always costs money and at the end of the day that's what you want. You go to school to get a good education. And then, I mean, when we were growing up, it was to go to college. I don't know if college is pushed as hard now as it was when we were in school, like just 10 years ago. I hope it's not. Yeah, definitely not. I mean, I hope so, too. Considering how expensive it is compared to the potential return you get on it in job markets. Yeah. Well, that's because of how expensive and stuff it is. So, I agree but for us growing up it was do well in high school hopefully get grants and uh funding to go to

college get a good degree and whatever get your dream job quote unquote but even if it's just like i don't know elementary school middle school high school i feel like your better education comes whenever you have a chance to ask questions and learn rather than just get lost in the crowd hmm i feel as conflicted on this one as you both seem to feel and i was sort of hoping you might agree it is it's a hard answer because i think there's a lot of things to be said about both sides of it it just depends on what you're going for if you're going for athletics you want to go to a bigger school if you're going for your education you want to go to a smaller school yeah money wise i mean yeah whatever you can afford public or private it is hard to get into like a good band program or marching band at smaller schools like there are certain things sport absolutely and for many people school is

less about education more about a pathway through sports and stuff like that you definitely want that bigger school because it's more likely to win it's more likely to be scouted there's certainly benefits you're not going to probably not going to go far in a private school if sport is your goal. But then again, that's not everyone. How many people actually make it professionally in sports? Very few. How many people dream to make it, though?

That's, I think, the more important quality. You can get money for college, too, I think is the real goal of a lot of kids who are good at athletics and have this vision of, I want to get a baseball scholarship so i can get some or all of my college paid for that is a good point too you're not likely to go pro good grades can do the same though if you do really well and you're in like honors and stuff like that i mean i had a lot of scholarships based on my performance in classes not necessarily for sports i i also was honors i mean i'm not wasn't i didn't have the best grades but also going into college I lost my grants pretty quickly after my first year's performance. But it still was never enough to cover my scholarship. Usually sports scholarships cover

100 percent. Yeah, but they barely rarely do they give those out, though, to like the full ones. Like a lot of players end up being like walk ons and stuff. Only your star quarterbacks and like, you know, four or five star athletes, at least in football specifically, are football specifically are gonna get your full rise i mean i think you're underestimating how many colleges are because i learned from tyler on go that there are tens of thousands of colleges and i had no idea about that with i guess that's true representatively hundreds of thousands of different sports uh with which to divide people there are incredible number of opportunities it isn't just like the big 10 or whatever how many athletes go into college and don't get it versus do, I guess is the question. I don't know the answer to it. I think a majority of active athletes in

college, and this is from a long time ago, so this is both out of date and hard to remember. I took a sports law class in law school where we covered this pretty extensively. The majority of active athletes in college, I believe, are not on scholarship, but a large percentage as compared to a large percentage of the rest of the population who potentially are on academic scholarships, a large percentage of the athletes, especially if they're scouted and if they're at a high level of their sport, actually do get a scholarship. And they're not all necessarily full ride, but even, you know, just tuition scholarship or half tuition or anything like that. It's a big thing. If all you have to do is keep playing the sport that you probably, you know, really enjoy that you love, that you may hope to, to go pro on or transfer to a bigger school or whatever.

It's still a very small percentage of the like population of athletes got numbers collegiate athletes but it's a higher ratio of scholarship athletes to non as opposed to scholarship academic only students to the rest of the academic students six percent of eight million student athletes in high school will make a spot on a college roster six percent of eight million sure of that six percent only 1.3 percent receive a full or partial athletic scholarship. All right, there you have it. Doesn't help with the big small argument though. You said it was 8 million total? It says 8 million.

So this one says of all the almost 8 million student athletes in high school, just about 6% will earn a spot on a college roster. That is via a very trustworthy site called noobgains.com. Oh yeah. What was the next percentage? 2% or something? 1.3%. So this is whattobecome.com.

1.3% of those athletes receive a full or partial athletic scholarship. 48% of students receive federal scholarships. Only 1.3% of athletes receive a full or partial athletic scholarship is what this says. That sounds incredibly low because that would mean there are only 6,300 students in the entire United States on athletic scholarship of any sort, which I refuse to believe is even remotely an accurate number. Do all sports have some athletes that are on scholarship for their sport? I mean, it depends on the institution. Some places may have no academic scholarship.

Some places it may only be football or basketball. I know at UC, we had scholarship on like football, basketball, baseball, men's and women's soccer. I believe we had scholarship track and field athletes at UC. UC is a relatively, it's not a huge institution, but it's a relatively big state school. And I know that there were scholarship athletes on a variety of our sports teams we're also a division one school we got to consider all of the like non yeah division one schools all the community colleges but like there's no way the total is 6300 in the united states that's like the amount of scholarship athletes maybe in a large medium or large state in the United States, I would guess. But maybe that's way off. I don't know. That just seems insanely low. I have no idea. These numbers I gave the sources. I don't know how accurate they are. I mean,

you guys can look into it. But that was just a quick Google search of an average number of high school athletes in the US and percentage of college athletes on full scholarship. And it gave me a full or partial answer. That seems wild. But yeah, I don't't know either that just doesn't seem like it encompasses everyone to me so it seems really low to me too i thought it would be higher than that uh but anyway what are we talking big small schools bigger small schools right yeah yeah anyway yeah it's complicated and i think the only thing that i have as a concern that you guys didn't already say is as a parent now having seen it as how school affected me as a person or what I think it did to me I think it's important big schools are important

for kids as they develop and this is nothing against anyone who was like homeschooled or went to small private schools I think it's important and it helps a person develop their perspective of like the world and of other people, what it's like outside of your small group of like friends and family who you know really well to be around more people. I think being in a bigger school gives you a wider range of experiences. It exposes you to more like cultures, more diverse people. I undervalued when I was a kid how much like I got to travel a little bit.

Like I got to see Europe when I was a kid, how much like I got to travel a little bit. Like I got to see Europe when I was in high school and all of that stuff really changed like how I felt about humanity. And I feel like it gave me more empathy because it helped me understand that what I think life is, is a very, very, very, very, very small fraction of what life is around the country and around the world. So I think that's an important part too, because if you're only ever in private schools, if you go to small, you know, high school and you go to a small private college, you're potentially only around people who are basically like you. Yeah. What are we counting as small or big here? Because I mean, can you have a small public school versus like a bigger private school too?

So you can have public charter schools, which are technically public schools you don't have to pay for, but are not included in a district. I actually worked at a public charter school in Cincinnati and we had, I want to say we had less than a hundred students in our building. It was a K through 12 school, but we basically had one classroom for each grade level. When I think small, I'm thinking like 15 to 25 kids in a classroom. That's at the school I worked at. That's kind of the numbers we had. It was more like 15 to 30 because a couple of our grades were more populated than the others like was milford a big or small school you think uh i mean it's hard to say i think it was like a medium-sized school on the bigger side technically speaking because our graduating class was like 500

but that also included like the trade schools coming to graduate with us i would say that's pretty big not definitely not like the biggest but in our actual school i feel like we probably had like 400 in our grade i think there's probably a decent amount from the trade schools i i yeah i wasn't even going to get into the social side which is a big thing that i do agree with 100 but i was trying for the sake of brevity to not dive into that it's a big issue but i ultimately i have to go with small i think which is surprising to me it's tough i get I get what you're saying. It's just like, if I, if I had a kid right now and I was like, where's they going to go? It's like, I'm

going to put them in a bigger school. Like I'm going to go to a good school district, but I want it to be big for that very social reason. Yeah. I think the main drive for me is, and I would probably feel this way about my own kid as well. I would want a big public schools for most of their education, but for the part where you really want an education, like my law school that I went to is like a small private school. I would want a small school because I feel like the education is potentially more direct. And that's not what everyone needs as a student. But for me as a student, it helped a lot that the professors like knew I knew all my professors

personally. They would check on me. They would sort of hold me accountable. Right. If I slacked off and came to a class unprepared, it wouldn't just be like I could sit and hide and not volunteer. I had to talk. I had to participate, which means I had to be on the ball. And the professors wouldn't like make me go in the hall or anything juvenile. But if you weren't prepared, then they called on you. The professor was always kind of like, okay, and moved on. And that helped

me because in public school, always just hid i would just keep my head down and i didn't have to talk and it was fine but it also let me slack a lot that's true okay i have solved this problem and we have made this decision for the entire world that's the end that one went on a long time so that's going to be the last one because that was way more than i thought it was going to be that got away of the intel scoreboard i mean i wrote all this down but uh i'm going to go ahead and take a look over at that scoreboard and the world,

which we know you are listening. I'm sure you'll be excited to learn that in all things, for all things, and in every situation, small is better. Including teeth. I guess falls under that.

So really, although I ended up signing with mark on the long run i guess wade wins teeth too it's interesting uh but that of course being the most important matter decided and out of the way i now have to pick a winner for the episode and although you both won the same number of rounds it is currently four to four. One of you was more right more of the time. Not all rounds are created equal. Because of the decision that we arrived at, obviously small is better.

And the winner of the largest number of small votes is Wade! Wade never once won a big vote. Or even voted big, as far as I recall. I did. I went big on vehicles.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's true. Abandoned that pretty quickly. I think that's the only time I did. Yeah. That didn't go well, so you were like, never again. But yeah, Wade voted small and won four times. Mark was split two and two.

Very well-rounded, which is not what we wanted, Mark. Nah, right? Go big or go home, Mark. And it looks like you're going home. You should have gone big then. What are you talking about, small man? Go big and go home, Mark. And it looks like you're going home. You should have gone big then. What are you talking about, small man? Go big and go home, I think. Oh, I'm keeping it nice and concise.

Yes, very concise. Good work, everybody. Uh, Wade, do you have a winner's speech? Uh, I'm gonna keep it small. Thanks. Alright, Mark. Big loser's speech. Verily doth I say that there is no greater grace than grace in loss. Loss can be an honorable thing if taken to heart.

The reasons for that loss. Yada, yada, yada, more, more. Can I fast forward through this large amount of filler? Yeah, I could see why we picked small, I guess. Go, go small, everybody. That's the moral lesson that has been decided. Everything is now small. And if it's not,'s wrong so there we go all right uh yeah that's it good win wade thank you for listening gentle listeners uh if you're a new gentle listener make sure you're following

the podcast subscribe to it or hit the plus or however it works on wherever you listen to make sure that you always get a notification when our episodes go live. Make sure that you follow Mark. Markiplier, you probably already do. Make sure you follow Wade, LordMinion777 or Minion777 on Twitch specifically. Myself, MySkirm on all places,

including Twitch, where I'm back at now. So look at that. And also, I for once did not forget to mention our merch. Store.Distractablepodcast.com, probably. New designs coming soon. Yeah. Sorry everyone had to look at all those sold-outs for so long.

It's been busy. It's been so busy. Well, everyone busy. It's been a busy year. It has. That's it. Good podcast. I'm glad we solved that,

and look forward to more important decisions that will have impact on everyone's lives around the world in the future. Coming here from the single greatest podcast and most important broadcast on the internet, of course, it's distractible. And with that, I say, podcast out.