Distractible - Body Odor

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

Mark hosts while Wade and Bob one-up each other's concepts for eliminating body odor, debate the true number of human senses, and remember nostalgic aromas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production, with your hosts, Mark, Bob, and Wade. This week, the Triumvirate take a foray into intense olfactory assault, augmented mustela putores furo, and cadres of circus slaughters. Please steel your mind and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome, everybody, to the Distractible podcast. your mind and enjoy the other. Shush, shush, shush, shush. I'm Minion777. Oh, that's Twitch. I'm Lord Minion.

Oh, no, it's YouTube. I'm Zull. That's Instagram. Shush. Wade. Wade's my name. I am the official winner of the first episode

of the Distractible Podcast. This is my moment. We did not apparently explain this in the first episode, but the winner becomes the host of the next episode of the podcast. I'm the judge, which means that these guys are going to bring stories and topics to the conversation table, and we're going to discuss them in whatever way I see fit or we see fit.

I will award points to these gentlemen here. At the end of the episode, we will determine a winner, and the winner will be the host of the next episode of the podcast. I have a topic today. Oh, good. I was very curious about that part. Today we are going to discuss body odor. Oh no. I will take suggestions of the enhancement thereof or elimination of body odor. Whatever your solution is to body odor as a concept or an idea, I will accept it all. So while you guys percolate that in your mind, I would like to bring up today's sponsor. Insert sponsorship here. This episode of the Distractible Podcast is brought to you by Fiverr. I hired someone on

Fiverr to do the music for this ad read. I also hired someone on Fiverr to write the copy for this ad read. I've also hired someone on Fiverr to do the voice acting because Fiverr's global network of on-demand freelance talent is here to help. Whether you're launching your first business, scaling your current business, or in need of extra support from graphic design, copywriting, marketing, web programming, film editing, scoring music, and more. Find your talent and begin working on your project within minutes. Customize your search by service, deadline, price, seller reviews, and more. No more guessing games.

You'll know exactly what you're paying for up front. You can find services like this and more on Fiverr.com, and you can receive 10% off your first order by using our code DISTRACTABLE. That is Fiverr.com, F-I-V-E-R-R.com. Code is DISTRACTABLE, D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-B-L-E. That's Fiverr.com, code distractible. All right, you go first then. Tell your title, Mr. Ready.

Okay, all right. You guys buckle down. Welcome to Wade's segment. Nobody owed her for you you it's the title i came up with that earlier and i really liked it so i stuck with it wow all right you want to eliminate body odor listen i've got some ideas i don't get to go i get to tell i picked it bob said go i was going he's not the host oh he's not i'm the winner i think you'd make a great host by the way my title yes for my idea is called rub rub rub rub rub rub rub i feel like we have the same idea and i

really want to go first now we definitely 100 do not have the same idea if you have the same idea. If you have the same idea I have, I will eat my own foot. Alright, now that that's on the table, I really do want to see if Wade's idea is the same, but I need him to go first in order to get to the foot eating, I think. So, Wade, I'm going to give you five points for going first.

Thank you. And I imagine you're going to lose them immediately i hope so cherish them while you can i wouldn't be me if i got to keep nice things all right go for it all right my title was uh what did you reinsert the title i said minus five points no stink for you that was not not it. Close enough. Close enough. Give it to him. Stinky, stinky do. Where are you?

That's better, but further away. Still zero points. It's still zero. All right. So look, you want to... We're getting rid of body odor, not gaining it. If you want to get rid of body odor, look, here's what you do. It was either way, man.

You can stink if you want. I don't know who the hell wants to gain body odor. Like perfume. There's a huge industry of just getting odors on you no i don't think that's true you want to get rid of body odor so do you know how like when you have a dog i don't have big dogs i've always had small dogs mostly so if you don't have big dogs do this but like they'll go outside they'll be sniffing around in the yard and they'll find a spot in the yard that's like really stinky right and they'll just like sit there and they'll roll in it roll in it roll in it then they come back and they smell awful you gotta toss them in the bath sure okay so what that

has taught me is that if there is something stinky and your pet rolls in it they take that stink away so you grab your dog you shove it under your arm you do some rub-a-dubbing. Okay? Stink transferred. Idea one, done. In the bank. That's terrifyingly close to my idea, and I can't fucking believe it. I knew it! Rub-a-dub-dub, eat your foot, Bob! Mine's different and superior, and I think it's different enough that I will avoid eating my own foot,

but Mark will be the judge of that. I will be the judge. Now the steak is not eating my own foot, but Mark will be the judge of that. I will be the judge. Now the steak is not only who will host, but who will eat what foot. I'm going to have some foot flambe tonight. All right, Wade, I'm going to give you your five points back for the succinctness alone. Well, you said idea number one. You got a whole, what, you got a list?

You got a whole plethora of ideas over there? Dude, I have been preparing all day and all night for the last 10 minutes for this. I've got ideas that you wouldn't even have dreamt of. You hold on to those because Bob needs to go. We all need to hear where this idea is going to flow. All right, I'll tell you later, though. Okay. My idea is specifically seven rubs.

We'll get to that later. Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub. That's the number it takes. So we live in a modern society. We live in a wondrous age of scientific advancement. We live in a world where corn is genetically modified to pull knives on and kill any insect that tries to eat it. I assume that's what corn that kills its own pests does. We live in a world

where you can choose the color of your baby's eyes. Hoping this podcast isn't published until after that technology is invented. We live in a world where genetics are basically humanity's playthings. And we control beings

to the very basic building blocks of their selves. What I suggest is ferrets. Have you ever held a ferret? Have you ever been around a ferret? Yeah. I've seen them. They run through tubes and they're long and furry.

They're like fuzzy tube-shaped snakes. They like to go in and around. They like to snug you. They like to rub on you. I think the solution to body odor is that everyone's house should be stocked with, depending on your size, number of household members, things of that nature. There's some details to work out. Anywhere between four and seven, seven being the maximum,

ferrets that have been genetically modified so that their sweat glands, I assume they have sweat glands, maybe they don't. We can put sweat glands in there if they don't. Totally fine. They basically secrete Axe body spray. They're like little mobile Axe secreting loofahs and your entire life will smell delicious. You can choose your flavors too. Maybe you have different species of ferrets, different smells, types of smells. I don't know what Axe calls their smells anymore. You could have, like, Strife or Lincoln or I don't know. They don't smell like real things, so I have nothing to compare them to.

They smell like the word that they're named. But you just let your ferrets crawl all over you. They rub. They rub. It could go on outside of your clothes. You could strip down to your skivvies. You could go full naked. You just lay out.

Could be a thing where your ferrets wake you up in bed. You sleep naked. You wake up to a harem of ferrets rubbing you down sensuously with your delicious red-flavored axe body spray. And you will smell good every day shower or no shower ferrets fur is also quite soft quite plush it will have like a cleansing property to it as well it will remove dirt it will you know if you mow the lawn you get some grass stains on your legs or whatever it'll take that right off of there you gotta wash the ferrets quasi regularly just chuck them in like the laundry machine not hot water you don't want to hurt them do a wash the ferrets quasi-regularly. Just chuck them in like the laundry machine.

Not hot water. You don't want to hurt them. Do a load of ferrets once a week. Keep your ferrets clean, and then they keep you smelling like an actual person from an Axe body spray commercial. I have an enhancement for your idea, which I don't know if I'm allowed to. May I proceed, Mr. Judge? Yeah, I want to know if I'm eating my foot or not here. Hang on.

Yeah, before we need to judge the foot eating. Bob, that is suspiciously close to Wade's idea. I can't believe you stole my idea. It is fascinatingly close. Because you said four to seven ferrets. And I looked up the weight of an average ferret. It's about two kilograms. And four to seven ferrets would put it in the range of a small dog.

Small to medium dog. Oh, God. Small to medium dog. The only difference is the genetic modification. Put it in the range of a small dog. Small to medium dog. Oh, God. Small to medium dog. The only difference is the genetic modification, and you're hinging on the fact that you're hoping that this podcast comes out at a time when genetic modification is going to be happening for animals. And I can almost guarantee you that by Monday, when this episode actually comes out, we will not have the technology to turn ferrets into Axe body spray machines. Well, just because no one's working on it doesn't mean it's not possible. out we will not have the technology to turn ferrets into axe body spray machines well just because no one's working on it doesn't mean it's not possible who would be working on that i assume axe has no one ever questioned why axe has spent millions of dollars on genetic research

check the records it's out there we can cure this right now i know there's like horse testosterone in axe body spray like i know that's a thing. Unless it's not a thing. And Axe, please do not sue me. Wait, no. Am I crazy about that? When I was in high school, like, wasn't that a thing everyone was like? I don't know.

I've never looked at the ingredients. I don't know. No, it's not going to be listed on the ingredients as horse testosterone. They don't tell you all the ingredients? Well, I don't know. Hang on. Hang on. Hold on. Wait.

Axe horse testosterone. I can't find a single thing. I knew this was true. Don't sue us. You knew it was true and now it's not true, but it used to be true. Mark said it. We here at Distractible are not held to the opinions of one mark flyer i swear jesus am i am i am i insane just keep googling until you find something that

suggests that you're correct i can't while you're looking i'm gonna talk about the ferrets and getting the ferrets to excrete Axe body spray. Okay, you do this. So you know how, like, some people have really dry yards and they'll go and, like, install, like, a sprinkler system? We do that on the miniature scale. We get, like, little tiny sprinklers. We stab it all over the ferrets and we install, like, a little piping system that links to, like, our can of Axe body spray that we then strap to their backs. links to like our can of Axe body spray that we then strap to their backs. And as they're running around, you flip a switch and all over comes the Axe body spray.

Bob solved your problem. We solved it before Monday. That means you have to refill a reservoir of Axe body spray. It means you have to buy Axe body spray that's not aerosolized, which I'm not sure if that exists because who wants a temporary solution all right you know do you want my help or not do you want to fail i don't really ask for your help you really want to lose to wade i'm pretty sure i'm winning thus far um listen your ferret system right you said you gotta go clean them you gotta do this ferrets naturally run through pipes so what you do is you build a custom shower with really big holes in the showerhead,

maybe ferret-sized holes. It spits the ferrets out. They run all over, excrete their acts, take away your odor by rubbing on your armpits and whatnot. Then they go into the drain. They go through a cleaning system where they're sprayed, they're cleaned, whatever, and they're spat back out the next time you need your ferret shower. If the ferrets don't make it, they don't run back into the hole. You remove the corpses of the failed ferrets. Occasionally, you have to restock your ferret tub. But you've got a permanent cleaning solution for you and your ferrets. I'm going to cut you off.

I'm going to cut you off, Wade. You're going down a path, and I don't want to see the end of this road. Death. Yep. Okay. So I'm going to rein this in. this episode has already gotten way out of hand we do not advocate the turning of ferrets punching holes in them and causing a shower system to explode out from their punctured body so that's not what we endorse here so bob i will not declare

you have to eat foot you don't have to eat your foot. However, for plagiarism alone, I'm only going to give you five points and I'm going to give Wade another five points because he got the idea out there first. Well, you made him go first, but that's fine.

Yeah, I'm the judge. Now, what we're not touching on is why body odor. You know what I mean? We're all so focused on the problem of body odor, but we don't even know that why is a problem in the first place. Like with humans, they have pheromones, right? It's all biological creatures have pheromones. What's a pheromone? You don't know what a pheromone is?

I'm asking on behalf of our audience members who maybe don't know. Okay. Of course I know. All right. Then tell me. It's like a chemical you release to the environment by animals or something that makes things want to

stuff around it, you know? What? What did you just say? You heard me. I sure did. You know, I sure did. Great. Thank you.

So pheromones body odor in general is is kind of a byproduct of a lot of different things it's like sweat but also in in sweat and like you know dirt and grime that you get on you it like underneath there there actually are chemical signals that humans even like maybe if it's not consciously but subconsciously respond to. Ants have pheromones. Bees have pheromones. Like most creatures communicate through these chemical signals. Like there's a world where it's not like mind control is possible, but like behavior can be influenced by these chemical signals to the brain because like sense of smell is like directly

connected to the brain. So I'm going to open up to the floor again about topics branching out from body odor from this idea of like is it good is it bad should we eliminate it why should we eliminate it these are the questions that must be asked oh well yeah of course we should eliminate it okay look six is an awkward number, right? We have six senses. We have five fingers on each hand. One of the senses has to go just for sheer convenience. And why not smell?

Wait, wait. What are the six senses, Wade? Yeah, what are the six senses? Oh, let me tell you. Sight. Sure. Touch. Yeah.

Smell. Yep. Hearing. Mm-hmm. Super smell. Oh, okay. Yeah. Smell. Yep. Hearing. Mm-hmm. Super smell. Oh, okay. Taste. Yeah.

That's, how many am I at? I think that was six, buddy. And incognito, that's not the word. Insomnia, no. That thing where you think. Intuition? And someone else can think what you're thinking. Telepathic, telepathy, you're thinking. Telepathic?

Telepathy? Telepathy? Telepathy, yeah. And listen, two of them got to go, and I think it's super smell and smell. Bob, you too. I like where you're going with this, Mark. Something humans have not mastered, we've mastered so much in this world but something humans really haven't mastered is the the use of pheromones and stank for non-verbal communication

and for you know like the power of suggestion i like the idea this may be a movie that already exists because i'm seeing in my mind it's like an oceans 11 style heist but the crux of it is the stank you know what that totally does happen in one of those movies doesn't it i can see an image of matt damon they put they put they wipe him down with pheromones and he like seduces a woman just by existing near her that's some real shit right there like imagine it you need a loan from the bank. You're trying to start your dog treat weed bakery because you really want

dogs to chill out because they're not chill enough. And you need a loan from your local bank. They sell a pheromone strip for that. You go into your local pharaoh dealer, tell them what you need. They give you something. A little strip, a little soaked in oils and whatnot. Smells nice smells nice buried in there is pheromones that you will emit that will make that loan officer

just weak at the knees and they'll just give you whatever you want they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand why isn't that a thing i want that i want hacks yeah why not also i just want to say for the record i might be really stupid. But I found some research that backs up my claim that there are, in fact, seven senses. Do you want to hear what the actual other two are? You said six, but okay. Yeah. Well, then I counted to seven when I got super smell in there, too. Sure.

So I counted to seven. So the seven senses, according to pathways.org, are sight, hearing, smell, get rid of that one, taste, touch, vestibular, which is movement. The movement and balance sense, which gives us information about where our head and body are in space, helps us stay upright when we sit, stand, and walk. Number seven. Oh, I know this word. Proprioception. and walk number seven oh uh i know this word pry pro proprioception proprioception uh body position the body awareness sense which tells us where our body parts are relative to each other also gives us information about how much force to use along with us to do something like crack an egg while not crushing the egg in our hands yeah Yeah. I'm not a sensologist or whatever the term may be,

but I'm like 98% certain that those last two are combinations of sight. No, no, no. That's actually, there's a thing. If someone has an amputation, the phantom sensation of their arm, they still feel like they're moving it even if there is no arm there. So I think proprioception is actually like a proven one because you can close your eyes, you know where your arms are in relativity to your head, you can feel them kind of. So I think that's actually perfectly valid. I guess the distinction that I would draw is the idea of the senses as they are described is how you interact with the outside world. Vestibular and the proprioception or or whatever the hell you said those are both describing how you

interact with your body right because obviously I think most people would say like if you said close your eyes and lift up one of your arms if they have arms and they're capable of moving them I think people would understand like oh you know what I did do that didn't I I could tell

where my arm was and I know what it feels like. But that's not the same as seeing something, hearing. You don't hear your body. You don't. You do smell your body, but that doesn't affect how you move it. You know, it's I feel like those are different. So like, yeah, that exists. I don't think those belong in the same category. That's my argument. So the five senses are more important for what's going on around you. So like everyone else around you matters more than you yourself matters. So you don't matter in the senses. So we have scientifically proven that you don't matter. I would agree with that conclusion. Wow. I definitely think that people think they matter a lot more than they do in a lot of situations. All right, go ahead.

Name names. A lot of situations. All right, go ahead. Name names. A lot of self-importance floating around. A lot of big shiny heads, if you know what I mean. All right, say it. Just say it. I want to bring up a topic that I just remembered. There's actually a chemical that is known officially as the smelliest smell in the entire world.

Oh, no. The chemical is called thioacetone. Yep. Okay. And it's described as having an intensely foul odor. The smell is potent and can be detected even when highly diluted. In 1889, an attempt to distill the chemical in a German city of Freiburg was followed by cases of vomiting, nausea, and unconsciousness in an area with a radius of 0.75 kilometers. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Wait, British chemist at the White Hill Soapworks in Leeds noted that in an 1890 report, dilution seemed to make the smell worse and describe the smell as fearful.

I like to imagine that was just some German dudes in their basement, just like, ah, yes, we will find the smelliest smell, and we will make the worst cologne and we will sell it to America. But it turns into

the happening. They find it, and everyone on their block, it just dies in their houses. Like people are passed out or just dead. And like people on the edges smell it and they're like, oh, God, they start coming outside. And everyone's like drawn to this. But the more people that try and go and figure out what the hell is happening, they just keep like they get further in. They die. They start wearing hazmat suits.

They get a little further in. But then like one guy gets like fully suited up in like a sealed space suit airtight thing gets all the way in looks around can't figure out what the hell is happening but he brings some of the chemical out with him and it's just like the spread of this chemical is just like a wave of i don't know if it would really kill them but i like to imagine it kills them because that's way more of a movie. This shit is so bad. In 1967, researchers

did an experiment and they said, recently we found ourselves with an odor problem beyond our worst expectations. Like two of our chemists who had done no more than investigate the cracking of minute amounts of trithioacetone found themselves the object of hostile stares in a restaurant and suffered the humiliation of having a waitress spray the area around them with deodorant.

And one drop, one single drop was placed on a watch glass in a fume cupboard and the odor was detected down wind a quarter of a mile away in seconds. My god. What is this stuff? This stuff is It's like physics defying. It's freaking devastating. Dude, okay. New idea for a weapon

for non-lethal warfare. Okay. Packs. What are they? What's a pack of ferrets called oh it's uh a pack of ferrets is known as a business of ferrets apparently businesses of ferrets assigned to uh containment trucks trying to do some low-key warfare in a foreign nation you just drive a unassuming box truck into an area, just park it up on the street, wherever, inconspicuous, just crack the back there,

and let your genetically modified thioacetone-spewing ferrets infest the area. It would drive humanity from the area completely. You could empty city blocks in probably a day if these ferrets just get in. They're in the pipes. It's everywhere. It's inescapable. People would literally flee from that.

You're saying to drive in with a bunch of ferrets, but I feel like you could cover a wider area if you fly overhead. And maybe instead of dropping ferrets, we just take like whatever this chemical was like a drop of it was enough to clear like what a quarter mile so you get like a nice little sippy cup size thing and you drop it and you call it like i don't know some kind of a stink bomb or something you drop it and splash and all of a sudden whole city cleared and you

can fly over multiple cities and just the thing about that is that's overt where that's that's not any different than dropping actual ordnance. That's an act of aggression on another plane. I feel like it's slightly different. There's a big American B-52 and everyone looks up like oh, what

is that American plane doing? Why are they dropping things on us? Man, that's not good. It's different. Paint it to look like Happy the Clown. So a clown. B-52 painted to look like a clown. The point is that the ferrets are covert, Wade. If you're at war with someone, you don't need to be.

Okay, the bombs look like they're balloon animals full of stinky liquid. Oh, my God. We can stealth it a little bit that's not stealth that's the opposite okay put it in a stealth bomber what do you think stealthing means that would just it's like a high altitude stealth bombing mission and it just drops it it gets into the jet stream and the entire world is just encased in thio acetone and everyone is like this is the greatest war crime that has ever been committed it smells so bad guys you know i got another idea this can be an aerial attack or

a ground attack or you know what even a submarine underwater attack here's what you do instead of just dropping the chemical directly you have parachuting clowns that are carrying these like spray guns and that little like red nose is actually a breathing filtration system that allows them to be able to breathe normal air and not smell it they can be delivered on the ground roll out with their squirt guns of death stink or they can drop in you can shoot them like a torpedo out of the sub they've got their breathing apparatus built in and it haunts i do not care how they smell if clowns are parachuting into my city i am fucking out i am grabbing my go bag and tossing the dog in the

car and mandy and i are leaving forever because i will not live in a city where clowns airdrop in i that does not sound like a place i don't care care how it smells. See, you see a ferret, you're like, ooh, that's a cute ferret. Give it a little pet. You see a clown drop in, you're not going in for a pet. You're running. And if you're not running, squirt, squirt. Ooh! I feel like you don't understand the idea of overt versus covert,

but that would be, I'm not going to deny that. No one knows whose clowns they are. All clowns are French, right right so i guess that's true ferrets could also be like like why are they ferrets why are they the question remains of the why but no one knows the who he's got a point bob he's got he really does it but i don't have it in me to argue no he's got a good point it's not the point in any relation to the conversation we're having, but he does have a point. Thank you. It's just a different point, and I'll give him one point for that.

Oh, that feels good. Hit me again, Daddy Judge. I'm going to take away that point now for calling me Daddy. Oh, take another. I'm not, I'm going to leave it where it is. I don't want to touch

any more points. I don't want to do it. I don't want to touch your points, man. Why? There's no clown scent on them. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine a clown assassin

just behind you? How do they sneak? You're standing there and from behind you just hear like, squeak, squeak, squeak. You turn around and there's you're standing there and for bod you just hear like squeak squeak squeak you turn around there's a clown standing there just like looking the other way and you're like okay okay what's the clowns one-liners that pulls the trigger clowns don't traditionally talk that much do they they sort of do those were mimes no i mean clowns can talk they're not a mind but like they do physical gags they do

the the squirting flower they make balloon animals they they talk when it's like a one-on-one thing at a party a little bit but it's about the gags man yeah it's about the gags also that that flower is is now devastating because of the stink contained within it oh feels good to be on top baby what are you talking about my clown assassin stink squad is taking off. I feel like the thing about yours that bothers me the most is that the stink is almost immaterial to the fact that you're dropping clown assassins out of the sky. Like, that's way more than enough. You said you wanted to clear the area. I'm clearing it in multiple ways.

Again, you have a a point but it's not totally in relation however you take you hold off on your clown army just for a little bit longer no more clouding around for you as they spray i'm trying to think of their one-liners you guys go ahead you yeah you keep working on those man you keep working on those, man. You keep working on those. Okay. So back to human body odor. I don't know if it's true, but there are experiments to try to like make soldiers so horny that they would just have sex with each other instead of fighting. Is that a real thing? Is this like the Axe body spray with the horse test off or anything? Are you just picking things that you think are real and just talking about them?

No, no, no, no. Is this the thing? Is this like an SNL joke or something am i am i a fucking idiot but but there was like no uh military aphrodisiac there was like the gay bomb there's a wikipedia article called the gay bomb oh my god the halitosis bomb formal names for two non-lethal cycle chemical psycho chemical weapons holy shit i'm opening that in a new tab that the united states air force research laboratory speculated about producing the theories involved discharging female sex pheromones over enemy forces in order to make them sexually attract to each other the research and notion

today is largely ridiculed for the bizarre idea as well as the effects of turning combatants or subjects gay it was a three-page oh god right laboratory in ohio ah shit produced a three-page proposal on a variety of possible non-lethal cool non-lethal chemical weapons which was later obtained by the sunshine project through the freedom of information request so there was a three-page proposal i would love to get that in my hands but i don't have it you know some military guy was like i bet we could turn them gay how how do we do how do you do that is it in the water is it like a do you drink it like is it like george just imagine it a bunch of soldiers all muscular like in a trench together hugging on each other if it was just like the sex bomb like okay fine you just get them so horny

that they just start having sex with everything but specifically to call it the gay bomb like what is that what the hell is so weird and the halitosis bomb i don't know how bad a person's breath would have to be for me to stop shooting my gun at the people that were trying to kill us but i can't imagine that someone's breath could be so bad that that would happen how would it get to their breath first why not just release the stink chemical that they know exists instead of something that just makes their breath bad it makes no sense at all. What if they dropped soldiers, but they're like clowns disguised as soldiers?

You know a question that I've always had? Not about clowns. Sorry, Wade. There's an episode of Futurama where Zoidberg meets a nice lady, and she can't smell, right? She has no sense of smell. Yes.

And then he finds out that he can give her her sense of smell back. He's a doctor, kind of. But he. And then he finds out that he can give her her sense of smell back. He's a doctor, kind of. But he's terrified because he is, his whole character revolves around the fact that he's like this gross, stinky, lobster alien creature. Everyone always comments on how bad he smells.

He lives in a dumpster, literally. Like, it's kind of like one of the cornerstones of his character is he stank. And so the episode hinges on, like, he stank and so it's the episode is hinges on like he wants to do this for her because she she's a florist and she wants to smell these beautiful flowers and and he can give this to her but he's afraid she will smell him and immediately break up with him it'll be over but he'll have done this great thing for her he eventually decides that he's going to do this. He performs the surgery. She gets her sense of smell back. She immediately goes to smell some of her flowers

and she finds them disgusting, abhorrent, and he's shocked. And then she goes to like give him a hug or a kiss or something. And he reels like she's about to be terrified at his smell. She leans in, she gives him a big kiss. And he's like, wait, wait, wait, you don't think I smell bad? And she's like, you smell amazing. You smell like like the person i love and so obviously that's asking the question is body odor smell bad to us because that's like socialized into us if a person never smelled anything before and then the person that they've like you know they love they're married to whatever that they smell terrible and they smell them for the first time that's the first smell is that a good smell our smells objective or is it psychologically subjective i don't know because obviously i i've been socialized like a lot of you know everyone

else that i grew up with body odor smells bad trash smells bad did i learn that though is that a thing can you change that maybe our brain says like, oh, but like our body is like, yes. I mean, yeah, absolutely. There, there definitely could be something about that. Cause with like Limburger cheese, it's almost universal that it's pretty divisive. There's not a lot of people that like it, but I love it. I love the association with it because like from a child, I was eating Limburger spread. Cigarette smoke. I love the smell of cigarette smoke. And to many people, it's repulsive.

But I do. I love it because my dad smoked. And it's not good, obviously. Like it's, you know, a bad habit and like bad for your health. But I don't smoke. But whenever I smell it, I get nostalgic for my dad. And it's like these things, they can have associations with the mind because the human mind is adaptable and flexible and your preferences impact everything. It's kind of a thing where you can associate a terrible smell, what is normally

terrible, but to you, it's fine. It's why you can become nose blind to your own house if it stinks bad. It's just you. It's why people like the smell of their own farts, probably. I have a similar, it's not entirely smell, but a similar phenomenon. Whenever I'm in a car that's approaching a stoplight and you're like, have a turn signal on, the sound of like the car slowing down, like the engine slowing down and the sound of the turn signal, that combination reminds me of my grandma because we went on so many road trips. I just always think of her at that moment. And like that, that's a sound that like brings back happiness and this is a good

smell i think most people think but uh like those candles that are like a cinnamon apple or whatever it's called like fall candle yeah yeah like but specifically with like cinnamon in it that smell is always one also when it reminds me it's not like a cigarette smoke again but like it's the same phenomenon it brings back like those happy memories i guess what i'm curious about too is i've seen a lot of like youtube videos and experiments where they seem like the reverse bicycle where you turn the handlebars to the left and the wheel turns to the right sort of thing so it's inverted so there's uh who is it the smarter every day on youtube and a whole host of other like you know educational and scientific youtubers have done this thing where you build a bike where the steering input is reversed. So it's completely

unintuitive. You can learn to ride that bike. The point of their video is usually it's like one long video or series where they show their progress of falling off a whole bunch, slowly learning to eventually where they can ride the reverse bicycle, but they can't ride a regular bicycle because they've like re-learned how it works. I'm curious if that's possible with smells. I have no idea what application that would have, but if you could like rewire your attachment or associations with a smell, it'd be fascinating.

I guarantee you. And you know why? There's actually a documented case of someone, you know, the kind of like eye goggle thing that turns the world upside down oh yeah there was an experiment done by someone that wore that for like a month or longer over time his vision one day flipped right side up so he was wearing the goggles and he wore them all day long every day. And one day he woke up and his vision was normal and he could see right side up. His brain had corrected for the goggles.

I'm not sure if whether it's just by association of like, okay, everything's flipped. I just have to relearn everything or it literally flipped. But I think it was literally flipped because when he took the goggles off and everything went back to normal, it took him like a week to transition back to normal and his vision to flip back. But every once in a while, his vision would randomly flip upside down and he would like fall to the ground because it was like the world just turned upside down. Yeah. That's messed up. It was terrifying. Exactly. It was super terrifying. And it's like, imagine that happened if you were driving and suddenly the world just turned upside down. But the brain is this fascinating organ that we do not fully understand and the ramifications of like

changing our perception of it like completely altering our perception of reality to change our understanding but also the brain's ability to work around these changes that we introduce to make it make sense for itself because it has to you know there's like so much flexibility and neuroplasticity that we just we don't understand how it works. It's a super like survival instinct. It makes sense. Like, you know, animal even like animals out and about like you see an animal like a squirrel or something that's like lost a leg or whatever. And they learn to walk without it, especially on shows and movies.

I've obviously never personally experienced this, but like someone that's like kept prisoner and tortured. You could like say, I don't know, that something horrible happens. They're not fed or they're zapped or something, but at the same time you pump in this really nice-smelling perfume. Then every time they smell that perfume, they're going to remember that trigger and kind of cringe or something, whereas conversely you could, I don't know, fart into a tube and put it in there. But at that moment, they get some kind of endorphins released

or dopamine released or something or like maybe they're fed but they have to smell that awful smell when they're fed but they come to associate the bad smell with something positive or the good smell with something negative and over time those could trigger those thoughts and like you know they'll cringe when they smell something nice or whatever else i really like the image that's forming in in my mind of like this is like a like a mini series on youtube it's like one of those educational series where they're the, the start, they're like,

where do you investigate neuroplasticity and how you can rewire your mind. But the whole series is this dude who's trying to learn to like the smell of like his, his partner's farts and, and like, it's hard to capture a fart. So it's the bulk of the video is like him trying to figure out how to capture a fart he's got like jars he's got like a funnel like contraption with a two and then like it it

regresses to like they're they're hanging out you know he's he's talking to the camera or something and then in the distance you just hear her and she's like it goes running and like gopro footage of him running up and just like okay okay i gotta associate this like this is a dude who spends two months smelling his partner's farts aggressively i don't think you need to do that much because like i don't know don't you hang around someone enough you'd smell their own farts nobody likes my farts not even mandy trust me what about you do you like to smell your own farts no i mean it depends what i ate but generally no well we gotta change that you know what bob you're the perfect candidate for this new series we're gonna make on youtube what i'm gonna do is

i'm gonna build a funnel i'm gonna tape it into my underwear with a tube that goes right up to my nose breathe it in my nose but i leave my mouth open so every time i my nose. I breathe it in my nose, but I leave my mouth open. So every time I fart, I have to breathe a big breath in the nose, and then I kiss Mandy right in the mouth. So I associate my farts with kissing the woman I love. And that wouldn't be weird for either of us. I'm sure it would be great for her, too. I would be sealed.

She wouldn't have to smell. It'd be fine. It'd be all internal. It's all filtered through your mouth. She needs to learn to love them, too. I would just start to have fart breath. That's the thing. That's the thing. If you hold in your farts, it comes out your breath. Ugh.

It's a thing because it dissolves into your bloodstream. Oh, wait, what? If you hold in your farts, where do people think that gas goes? It goes into your bloodstream. It doesn't just disappear imagine you have to have like a blood transfusion and you wake up and like all of a sudden nobody can stand to be around you like what would happen and they're like sorry the only blood we could find was a fart holder it went right into their bloodstream and now it's in you the technical term one of them fart holders

they refuse to fart now their blood smells like this. And now their blood is yours. Are you a free farter or are you a fart holder? Oh, fart holder for me. Thank you. One of the tests to donate blood is they just take a little needle and they prick your finger, scooch a little drop out and then sniff it. If it smells like farts, that's a no go.

All the tests came back perfect except for the smell. They give you a stern talking to about the medical issues with holding in farts. That's a no-go. All the tests came back perfect, except for the smell. They give you a stern talking to about the medical issues with holding in farts. How you need to let it fly. All right. Okay. I think that's a good enough place to wrap up this episode. I gave a secret 10 points to Bob for the Futurama reference, and I failed to mention that. But Futurama reference with me hosting will always get you 10 points.

That's like a rule. So the points. Remember that of time at futurama where it's too late the episode is wrapping now the points stand wade 10 bob 15 i will give wade an opportunity to get some bonus points if he can come up with some of those clown lines he was saying that he was thinking about. Oh. Guess what you just ingestered. It's fartsburg. That's one point. That's a point? Come on. Squeaky squeaky

smell what's between my cheekies. I'm taking away the point. I just gave you. Okay, and Bob is the winner. Thank you everybody so much for listening to the Distractible podcast. We probably have nothing on the website, but if you go there, distractible.com, you might find some stuff. Thank you, everybody, so much for listening. Remember to follow and subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast, too.

We do new episodes every Monday. You can find Bob. His username is MySkirm. He streams on Facebook. Wade, you can find him on YouTube. Minion777 on Twitch. LordMinion777 on YouTube. My name is Mark Blair.irm. He streams on Facebook. Wade, you can find him on YouTube. Minion777 on Twitch. LordMinion777 on YouTube. My name is Mark Blair. Thank you so much for listening.

We've got more cool episodes coming for you. Thank you to our sponsors for supporting this episode. And thank you to you for supporting the show. Anything else, guys? Final words? I'm gonna go fart on Molly so hard right now. I don't like that. I don't like that. Don't do that. That right now. I don't like that. I don't like that.

Don't do that. That's bad. I don't like that. You're gonna blame it on me. I don't like where that's going. I don't like that future. It was a horrible future. Thank you.

Oh, boy.