Distractible - Confusing Christmas Words

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Twas the episode on Christmas, and all through the podcast: Bob sings weird carols. Wade gets harassed. Mark talks about lenses. Isn't that a surprise? Merry Christmas to all, from your favorite three guys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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of a white one and a yule logs and holds. From risky business to hodgepodge snowballs, yes! It's time for Confusing Christmas Words. Merry Christmas! Now sit back and prepare to be distracted

and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to yet another episode of your favorite podcast, best podcast in the world, award-winning podcasts, and also the one you're listening to right now, Distractible. Hi, my name is Bob. I'm going to host this episode because I won the last episode because I'm the funniest, smartest, and most handsome host on the show. That's probably why I won. And if I remember correctly, it was all confirmed in my victory by whoever picked me as the winner.

I don't remember because they don't matter because I won. Joined today by my two contestants slash co-hosts, Mark and Wade. Hi. Hi. they don't matter because i won joined today by my two contestants slash co-hosts mark and wade hi hi i don't know if i like your intro but um hello my uglier less smart and less funny co-hosts uh who will be competing today to see who is second best on the podcast if you've never seen the show before the host uh awards points and picks a winner the winner of the episode ultimately goes on to host the next episode. But the episode is whatever the host says. You know, Wade, we don't have to take this.

You're right. We don't have to be a part of this. Minus five points to Mark. We can just walk out right now and not come back. Minus eight points. And then Bob would be here alone. Minus 11. Swallowing, wallowing and swallowing. Minus 15. Let's walk out, man. Was that for the wallowing or. Swallowing. Wallowing and swallowing. Minus 15.

Let's walk out, man. Was that for the wallowing or the swallowing? Plus three for swallowing. Thanks. Well, let's walk out, Wade. Let's just do it. I've had it with this. Of being insulted.

Of being trod upon. I'm walking out. If you don't have a competitor, I guess you win by default, Wade. Walk out with me. Wade, walk out with me. Okay. Let's do this. Solidarity. Yeah. Let's go. Come on. out with me wait walk out with me okay let's do this solidarity yeah let's go come on walk with me i don't think he believes you would he's not used to this go out the door

listen i get mistreated all the time it's kind of normal for me i was hoping he would go for it i was telling him how i'm walking out right now mark let's walk out yeah both of us yeah let's do it all right three two one walking up yeah all right but i'm still here look mark getting talked to Yeah, let's walk out. Yeah, both of us. Yeah, let's do it. All right. Three, two, one. Walking up. Yeah. All right, Bob. I'm still here. Look, Mark, getting talked to like this is pretty much I was telling Bob apart for the

course for me, but I know it's new to you, so it's tough. Four points to Wade for not walking out. I didn't walk out either. It was all a ruse. I actually, Bob, what I was doing was I was I was painting a clever ruse to try to get my opponent to abstain. Minus four more points to Mark for thinking he's clever you're really waiting this episode up wait let's this is too much the the stakes uh it's not worth it let's get out of here you and me buddy yeah

after you three two anyway I'm the host and these episodes I pick what the episode is and I have a thing it's it's today I believe if my are correct, which I have messed this up multiple times before. I believe today is Christmas Day. I believe it's December 25th. So I have some Christmas-themed episode planned. But before we do that, we can talk about a small talk. Look at our colors. We're kind of wearing Christmassy colors.

That was unplanned. Ah. Ooh. What? Because Wade and I are wearing wearing red and you're wearing green oh yeah that's christmasy and you kind of have you kind of have a red teal thing but that's kind of greenish i could change that to green you want me to change that to green it is christmas yeah are we doing christmas i think i could do christmas lights hey wade change your customizable

light colors i do have customizable lights but they're still in the box you know what bob i do i can change my background to green that works you could be put in a snowy landscape a a beautiful blizzard of Christmas cheer. Yay. Oh, man. Bob, you got remotes for that stuff? It's on my phone. I do.

Watch this, Mark. I'm going to change my background right now. Whoa. Was that a pull cord? Ding, ding. Yeah, honestly, I should get this on my phone, but these are the nice lights I have. These on the side are still the shit lights I have. But, you know, one step at a time.

Someday you'll have nice technology like me, Mark. Or me. Look at my nice animated background. Don't take credit for the editors putting up with your bullshit. That's what we do for a living. Well, that's what they do for a living. That's very true. Maybe we should be nicer.

Do you want me to talk about lenses it is christmas yeah that's my gift to you is you could talk about lenses if you want buddy thank you so much so okay here's the thing about me and lenses everyone was like oh about me talking about like the expensive lenses but here's the thing which time every time go on so here's the thing is with vintage lenses what i've started doing is actually i've started going on ebay i've never really done ebay before i've never done the ebay i've never ebayed i've never gone uh hunting for things that are actually like vintage i'm not a collector i'm not a kind of like a person that likes keepsakes or things like that usually but

i started going on there because i was curious about these vintage lenses that i was talking about because there's so many manufacturers from the like middle 19th century uh or 20th century 20th century the middle of the 1900s yes middle of the 1900s 20th century oh you mean the 31st century no no i actually don't that's nothing what i mean but there's so many manufacturers from that time period that made good quality lenses, and you can get them for not $100,000 or so. And I want to reiterate to people that still didn't get it. When I was talking about that, I said I could understand the worth of it. Not that I bought it.

I did not buy it. So you bought the $100,000 lens and then you threw it away out of shame? He bought two. You got to have backups. Exactly right. Exactly. But the thing is, like, I wasn't going to buy. I wasn't going to spend $100,000 on a set of lenses.

But I am curious about these lenses because you can get some pretty good condition original lenses of many different varieties and the one that i was talking about for uh like anywhere from 50 to 200 bucks depending on the rarity of the lens that's honestly pretty cheap for a lens much better price than what equates to about ten thousand dollars per lens it has been interesting because there's a lot a lot of these are shipping from japan i'm not i, I'm not used to the whole process of looking at what a lens is, but I'm starting to learn. And I'm learning a lot about the history of these lenses at the same time. I'm learning about the company, uh, this one, Minolta, they were actually a pioneer in terms of a lot of their glassmaking. They did everything in house. They, they basically invented the double coating process of, you know, when you have

coatings on lenses to help with the light reflection and refraction and stuff like that. They did that. They built all their own housings. They made the glass like in-house. They mined it themselves and then made it. Also, some of them might be radioactive. Neat. From the coating?

No, from the thorium. They put thorium in glass sometimes because thorium, which is a radioactive element in its mineral form. I think if you add it to glass, it actually helps the refraction and lessens the diffusion of light. So it'll be less separation. It clarifies the image. Unfortunately, it's radioactive. So some of the lenses are a little bit radioactive. I don't know if this is the same thing, but I do know there's a whole niche of people who go to thrift stores to buy glassware specifically that's like radioactive

glassware. And if you take like you take like a black light and you just shine it over, you know, whatever that whatever they have and they glow because they are. I don't know if it's the same thorium or what. Those are are actually uranium so there are certain glassware like amy knows a bit about this because she has some old fiesta wear um that there's a certain color there that had uranium in the coating in the paint to get a certain color it turns out that these radioactive elements for some reason cause like a very nice color to appear so you really want to look at it and open your eyes wide eventually you turn a really nice color too the thing is uh what's been made clear is a lot of the time the radiation dose that you get so long as you're not eating off of it or drinking out of it which would be a very not

great thing to do you could depends what you're using the lens for but sure i'm not i'm sorry about the fiesta wear here you won't gotta eat off. It's like, it's a lot of the times with these lenses, it's no more than holding a banana close to your face, which if you didn't know, bananas are radioactive. Is that why they taste so good? Yeah, exactly. That's why they're yellow. Yeah, probably.

Oh. I heard an unsubstantiated rumor that I just made up that Michael Bay keeps a lot of bananas around him and he uses only uranium lenses to film. Because apparently it really enhances the explosions. That's a great rumor. We should expantiate that. What does that word mean? I don't know.

It means exactly what you think it means. Anyway, I'm on eBay right now because I'm bidding for this lens that it's... It's $42 right now on the bid it's gonna bid up to a hundred thousand it's not gonna bid up to a hundred thousand it's 42 right now and it's me and this other guy and we're going up by a dollar every time because i don't know how the increase your max bid thing is so i only go up by a dollar each time because i'm afraid if i put a high number it's just gonna shoot up to there i'm pretty sure on ebay if you put a max in and then just tell it to it doesn't it doesn't go to that unless someone else bids you up to that okay well i'm i'm up now at 46 so i'm gonna get this

lens keep us posted throughout the episode yeah hang on i'll see if i could find the auction early on and just bid it up like crazy let me see how much time is left mark it's it's got a day you're bidding a dollar every few minutes it's got a day left the last hour is gonna kill you man have you ever used ebay have you ever used ebay stupid all right well this one's nice because it actually has sample photos with the lens taken because i don't know because there's like i've learned about like fungus in these old lenses lenses can be like very bad literally if they weren't kept in a dry environment they can be just like a lot of mold can grow inside and that just doesn't come off because trying to remove that destroys the coatings and then the lenses basically a mold has its own

coloring that can enhance the lens in a weird way i think that actually is true like a lot of the flaws there's certain filters that people put in front of way i think that actually is true like a lot of the flaws there's certain filters that people put in front of like camera lenses that are literally like dots and splotches and they mess with the light as they go through and people were like oh it's pretty and so who knows maybe a certain pattern of mold is actually really interesting you said you're you're at 46 dollars mark is that where you please don't don't do it interesting unrelated unrelated just i'm just looking at some stuff okay all right please no what was your max mark just curious i'm going up a dollar every time i don't have a max he will win it no matter what the final price

is oh wait it's not at 49 already is it i don't know let me refresh no it's well yes it is can you send him a link yeah that would make this way easier. I will send you a link because if you want to bid me for this lens that I know you can't use, I'll just, next time I come to Cincinnati, I'll take it off your hands. All he has to do is win it and then ask for the camera for Christmas that uses it. Well, the adapter actually is pretty cheap. There's this place that makes adapters and like the adapters are 60 bucks, I think. Could you send me a link for that too?

Legitimately, I think that this whole world is fascinating. It's, it is like more difficult to use these for cinema, but you know, a lens on a mount, it's light. Interesting stuff, Mark. I hope you win that lens. Thank you. I hope no one gets in the way of it. I can't imagine that that would happen so if

you guys this christmas see mark bidding on a lens go ahead and bid him up a little just sneak in there and snipe that bad boy away from him okay this is dating me a bit but i'm pretty sure the last time i usually if i would go on ebay i'd go for the buy nows because i had some bad luck with the biddings but uh i'm pretty sure the last time I bid on something on eBay was whenever like PS3 came out. And I'm pretty sure you could see who was bidding against you back then. Thanks for opening yourself up to even more anger and ridicule for your obsession. Relatively healthy and totally normal and honestly not even that weird or interesting

obsession with the thing that people are into. I mean, look, it's interesting to you, which is interesting to me, but like it's camera lenses. It would be like me talking to, you know how I was obsessed with phone cases. I have a new and slightly more annoying and expensive thing now. It's wallets. I think though, I think the world of wallets is an interesting place. I have several that I've gotten recently that I, and they're all sort of in their own different

ways, like useful. I'm very into minimalist wallets. No one cares. Like, I'm sure everyone carries a wallet and is like, yeah, I like the one I got. No one cares. But I'm very I have I have I have feelings about wallets. And I appreciate that you have feelings about lenses. There's this mentality here that on this podcast, we can't talk about our interests.

And this is Christmas. If there's one time of year that people can talk about their interests and ask for what they want this year because they've been such a good good boy it's us and this and the things we're talking about we've definitely been good boys good good boys i tried collecting wallets but turns out you can't just take them from anybody when you see one you like so i gave up on my wallet collecting which is why i think everyone should play mobile games that's where the real joy is at all right good small talk boys uh everyone's in the positive on the point scale I just want to put that out there wow Mark really came back after that minus 50 to start Mark did not catch up to you because you both earned a lot of points but Mark made it all the

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your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today anyway my episode idea we've done this before uh in a much beloved and lauded episode called bob's confusing words and this is a special christmas edition of bob's confusing words uh and it's not i do have some words where I'm going to ask you, give you the word and ask you to give me what you think the definition is or whatever. And then we'll talk about those. But also I have played a fun game, which I've done in the past and which other people have done, but it's always funny, where I took some classic Christmas songs and I ran them through Google Translate about 80, 100 times. And now they don't have the same words that they used to have.

But I want you to try and figure out what Christmas song I'm singing slash just reading to you through the lyrics that are remaining after absolutely murdering this, literally with hours of Google Translate copy pasting going through any language I could think of um so and these are like these should be very well known some of them might have little giveaways in them but i really tried to like keep keep cycling and just using translate not editing the text myself in any way to try and get all of the little hints and stuff worked out um not to interrupt you but i kind of have to uh you said you had all these christmas songs and then i'm pretty sure uh remember those guys the things in my yard i think they're working on internet and power lines right now so as soon as you said christmas songs everything went dark

and my internet froze and then i came back to google translate and i have no idea what happened in between so that won't happen again though right no no they're done wait i i we're doing bob's confusing words i have some words i also put some songs through google translate like literally hundreds of times each and i want you to try and figure out what song it is that's the whole thing so here we go this is the first song a good luck and if you know it uh don't just say it buzz in and give your opponent a chance to think it through a little bit But this is a beloved Christmas tune It is not necessary. It is not necessary

Play all the way through. Oh, that's good. He approached the soldier blood on the horse's lot It is not necessary it is not necessary play all the way through oh that's good he approached the soldier blood on the horse's lot to make it snow on me blood on the horse's lot we went to the farm all right i'm gonna i'm gonna ding in wait all right hold on i'm ding mark dings first the pattern is what's making me think of this is that jingle bells is that jingle bells run through 10 000 times yeah yeah because it was because like none of the words lined up blood on the horse's lot is the matches up with the line in a one horse open sleigh oh sure no it was like when you started doing the patterns of the short phrases very jingle bells so

i will say that that's the easiest one i think so because it has the jingle bell what was the it is not necessary where does that start that's jingle bells it is not necessary it is not necessary play all the way through oh that's good he approached the soldier blood on the horse's lot hey i got caught up on the it is not necessary i was like no no no who wouldn't go and i was like no that's not it it is not necessary it is not necessary well i was trying to think of those lines i should have focused on the horse so. So anyway, that's definitely the easiest one, but points to Mark. Yay!

Are you ready for the next classic Christmas song? Sure. Sure. I don't like Christmas. I want something. I don't like putting presents under the tree. I love you more than you know. They welcomed me.

Everything you need for Christmas. Great. I don't like Christmas. But I want something. Presents under the tree. Buzz? Oh, Buzz. Is this the all I want for Christmas is you? Mark, do you have a guess? Was that correct? Is that incorrect?

I was just curious if you had a guess. No, I have no clue. But if it's wrong, I guess I have to guess. No, Wade was right. I found this one immensely easier than the last one. I don't know why. My brain clicked real fast with this one. I was like, underneath the Christmas tree, make my wish come true.

Not, yeah, sorry. These are not all old carols. These are iconic Christmas songs, including contemporary music. Sorry. Good guess, Wade. Points to Wade. Next song. I want to be free for Christmas.

How much does it cost? He cut trees and the children listened, playing in the snow. I want to be free for Christmas. I write about Christmas all the time. Oh, ding, ring, ring, ring, ring. I don't know the name of it. Is it the I'll be home for Christmas? No, but good, good guess.

But no, it's actually not. Do you have a guess, Wade? Or would you like me to continue a reading? Continue, because I... I write about Christmas all the time. Happy birthday. Let's share Eid praise together. I want to be free for Christmas.

How much does it cost? He cut trees and the children listened. Playing in the snow. I want to be free for christmas today will be a perfect day let's share prayers together i really hope the editors put like the most ominous music because that is like a that's a haunting poem you're reading right there here's my trouble with doing this is i'm such a visual person that i'm picturing like this ominous dark scene of like children playing in the snow. This guy lighting up a cigarette like, I want to be home for Christmas.

And he's like on the phone, how much will it cost? He's falling footsteps with a blood trail, like going into the dark woods, an axe over his shoulder. Yeah, it's very nice. Yeah, I will say, if you want to hint, Mark, in terms of like musical style, you're in the right area. But it's it's this is this is the version I know of this song is sung by like a like an old school crooner type person.

But there's a lot of versions of this song. Obviously, it's one of those Christmas songs that like everyone does a version. Oh, man, I don't know. Yeah. Can you start over from the top? Just like, yeah, let's hear it from the beginning again. I want to be free for Christmas. How much does it cost?

He cut trees and the children listened. A plane in the snow. I want to be free for Christmas. I write about Christmas all the time. Happy birthday. That's what throws me off. I don't know what the fuck that is. I don't know.

It's literally in quotes what are you it's in quotes it's one one line it's just all lowercase in quotation marks happy birthday could it be i'm dreaming of a white christmas yeah that's it what okay you gotta line up the lyrics you have to line up. I don't understand. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. I want to be free for Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. How much does it cost?

Where the treetops glisten and children listen. He cut trees and children listened. A plane in the snow. To hear sleigh bells in the snow. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. I want to be free for Christmas. With every Christmas card I write. I write about Christmas all the time.

Now in the song, this part is in quotation marks. May your days be merry and bright. Is happy birthday. I don't know what happened you know mark how you got there i don't know but congratulations it's just like i was trying to think of what lined up and it's it's man happy birthday wanna be free for christmas i'm hoping this last one is the weirdest one. I think it is. But I'm also a little afraid there's gonna be some secret code in it that gives it away. This is the last song I've got.

Then we'll move on to the... Just words. We'll just talk about words. But I really... These songs literally probably over 200 cycles through Google Translate to get it to a point where it was not super obvious what it was supposed to be so it took a lot of back and forth i will a lot of copy pasting that last one was a doozy well i hope you're ready for the uh the christmas classic snow spirit of the holy mother

it has a mouth and a nose and advanced vision snow they call it a legend made of ice but the children know how it is today it must be magical buzz is this frosty the snowman damn it yeah it is sorry i felt bad cutting in but it was like okay magical must have been some magic in that old silk hat magic gave it away this one yeah the i could see that at the beginning. This one got so good towards the end. Please, though, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. They can laugh and play.

Just you and me. Yes, there's no turning back. Go. They walk in the snow. Good music. Ah, cold winter. It was very hot that day. Let's have fun, he said.

Until I melt. In rural areas, use cement. Come back, we're going. Ask for pickup if possible. He follows them through the streets of the city. Watchman. It was a bit quiet. He heard her shout.

Stop! The snow is very cold. Be careful on the road. But he said goodbye. Don't cry. I will come back one day. Press the button. Hi, Presti! Press the button! The tip of the iceberg!

You know, Frosty the Snowman. That last part, press the button, is thumpity thump thump, thumpity thump thump, is press the button, is thumpity thump thump. Thumpity thump thump is press the button. Hi, Presti. Press the button.

Hi, Presti. Yeah, the beginning of that one maybe was not as well hidden as the rest, but I love the back half of that translation. Well, if we got to the melt line, that would have been a pretty good giveaway too. Goddamn. There's no turning back. Go. You go.

I stay. No following. Who got that? Wade got that. Points to Wade. Yeah, Wade. I got that actually. It was me.

Points to Mark actually. I really actually got it though. Really actually points to Wade. I wish I had had the time and forethought to do just like 30 of those. Cause I love that very much. And if you ever, you ever want to have a good time, just doing that for your own entertainment, it's very fun. Any song you like chat, chat. I always do that. Uh, but now we're going to move on to, uh, what the game originally was. And, uh, I think some interesting, interesting terminology these are christmas words that uh i don't think you guys are gonna know the definitions to but i want you to try i will say uh mark strong

comeback wade still in the lead but good job all around everybody didn't we tie the last round two and two yeah well not every song is worth the same amount of points. And also, it has a lot to do with how much I like each of you individually. I never stood a chance. The first word is crumping. C-R-U-M-P-I-N-G. Crumping. Wait, so are we guessing the definition? Yes, if I am crumping, what am I doing?

So we have a friend whose username is Crumpler. I think we do, right? Never mind, I'm thinking of Cripster. I'm thinking of Cripster. Crumpler i think we do right why am i making that never mind i'm thinking of cripster i'm thinking of cripster but i'm gonna go ahead with my definition despite getting the username incorrect uh cripster is our friend uh from the uk as such i think crumping is when you take a person from the uk and make them play a game they're bad at until they rage it's getting is angering a uk person a classic christmas holiday tradition making a british person angry i'll hold off telling you if that's correct until mark has a chance okay what was the

actual original word because now i've forgotten crips sir no no it's not crumping crumping okay so this is when after you've eaten all of the christmas cookies or after santa has eaten all the christmas cookies and you wake up in the morning you rush down and all the crumbs and beard follicles are on the plate there because you you know, he just... Serious answer. Isn't it a form of dance? So that is also what I thought, and I believe that is a meaning of this word, but it apparently also has a more holiday-themed meaning as well.

Crumping through the snow. Hey, that... Actually, since you're both locked in, i will say that's more correct than anything either of you actually said oh is it like footsteps through the snow or something it's the sound you make when you when you walk over semi-frozen snow where it's all crump crump crump crump crump well i i would call that a crunch but all right but it's not a full-on crunch because it's not fully frozen snow. It's a crump.

It's like your foot's humping the snow. Therefore, it's a crunch hump. It's a crump. I'm going to say, I was going to say, I'm going to give points. If no one gets it exactly correct, I'm going to give points to the most correct person. Points go to Mark. Anyways, next word, and I really like this one. Hogmadog.

H-O-G-M-A-D-O-G. Hogmadog. Marco, you won. I'll let you go first this time. Okay, it makes me think of hodgepodge, right? Hogmadog sounds like hodgepodge in a way. What's a hodgepodge right hog my dog sounds like hodgepodge in a way what's a hodgepodge hodgepodge is like an eclectic assortment of random nonsense or clusterfuck is kind of a common definition hodgepodge hog my dog hog my dog hog my dog uh it's it's specifically a hodgepodge

style of thing of pigs and dogs or maybe it's a reference to like animals, like getting all kinds of confused. I thought you were going to say this. This sounds, this sounds like something that a dude might ask his girlfriend to do when they're bored watching a movie the night before Christmas. But no, that's,

that's a raw, raw hog, my dog. That's a different holiday. I'm raw my dog. Oh, no. That's, yeah. No, yeah.

I like that. That's a good answer, Mark. No, I'm sticking with my previous answer. I think, yeah. I think you're about're about the animals i'm with you good answer i think it's like katamari where snow like an avalanche comes down a hill and hits a farm and gets all the dogs and hogs and rolls them up and they're like they start this katamari ball where they just go and like run over the farm and collect all of the things how i know i'm i'm talking i'm exclaiming to the universe because how are you actually so wrong but also exactly correct i don't know how that could be both, but you know what? A Hogma Dog is a large ball of snow that was made by rolling a small ball around on snow so that it grows in size.

Often used as the body of a snowman, but can become lethally large. Is the definition I have written down, which is what you described. Wow. You know what got me there is Mark saying hodgepodge. I was like, oh, it's like a Katamari ball. Sure. I mean, that's double points for accuracy if there's ever been such a thing. Does it ever roll over the farm and collect the dogs and hogs?

That's not in what I have, but like yeah theoretically what in your scenario that would be a hog my dog if that were to have happened that is accurate whoa what are you listening to this for wait who's talking you know you're driving a 2024 ford escape with available alexa built in so you can change the music oh yeah alexa change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. or for.ca Alright, well this one

I think is going to mislead you in that it sounds funnier than it maybe is, so I'm going to give you that hint to start off. But tell me please, what is a Yule Hole? Y-U-L-E hyphen

H-O-L-E. I mean, you put your Yule log in the Yule Hole. I mean, you put your Yule log in the Yule hole. I mean, this is basic biology. You stick your Yule log in the Yule hole. Can I get the definition for a Yule? I don't know the official definition, but Yule is as pertaining to like Christmas, right? Like you're in the Yule spirit.

So it's specifically nothing to do with singing on its own. No, it's just generally Yule is like, you know, it's Christmas. You know how whenever Christmas carolers are going around and singing around Christmas time and some people are like, they'll sing along and be really happy. Other people are like, oh God, go away. And they're tired of the Christmas carolers. A Yule hole is whenever you get so tired that you kill the Christmas carolers and it's what you put them in when you're trying to hide the bodies.

And then always a year later, a Christmas tree emerges and grows from the corpses of the carolers. That was my first thought, and I don't have another one, so I'm sticking with it. I appreciate your dedication and the fact that you think that a real world definition of a word we're talking about would involve actual murder. I am going to say you both got close and that both of you did acknowledge that there's a hole involved, but actually a Yule hole... We're all

madogging it. A Yule hole is what you call the hole on your belt that you have to loosen it to once you've engorged yourself on Christmas dinner and during the holidays in general because you're eating good food and drinking and being fun and merry.

You got to loosen that belt so you put the old belt in mule mode. Mine involves bodies. I remember when Uncle Billy afternoon was like, gotta pop it into the mule hole, guys. Both of you involved bodies and putting things in holes. Didn involve a log what the fuck bodies mark's it was a euphemism yeah you'll log in the yule hole it was i was euphonizing oh i thought

you meant for like a yule fire you put the log in and let it burned and that's called a fireplace buddy i i was gonna say i think mark is very slightly more correct, if only because Yule hole is generally a pretty happy term. And I think what Mark described is pretty happy. And what Wade described murdering. Mine is happy for the guy putting the bodies in the hole. Yeah, I'm going to have to doubt X to doubt that one and give those points to Mark. And he gets a tree in the backyard every year to remind him of the deeds of years past well since we're on the topic i want to do another yule one you guys seem to like that yeah but this one is uh perhaps more confusing tell me please what is a yule shard shard as in shard of glass yes yule shard wait i think you should go first okay good i was hoping you'd say that a yule shard is a broken piece of ornament that you

restring and put on the tree to remind yourself of how important that ornament was usually um caused by fighting the year before where someone was impaled and murdered by the ornament and to honor their memory you hang the shard that pierced them on the tree. That's their Yule shard. And Yule will give me points for that, right? You'll see in a minute. Okay, so I imagine if in Christmas time, all the ornaments, kids running around, there's a chance that ornaments could be broken.

Maybe there's some kind of tradition somewhere where you take a piece of an ornament that was broken and you consider it good luck for some reason. So that's the Yule shard. Oh, that that's interesting wrong uh a yule shard is somebody who leaves a lot of work to do until the very last moment before christmas for example your dad getting everyone presents from the local gas station what a yule shard yeah that one doesn't make a lot of sense i don't know where that camp comes from and i don't have like an origination that's a tough one i'm gonna say that's a draw because i feel like both of you gave better definitions than what that one actually is

and i appreciate that neither of your definitions was dirty either very wholesome very advertiser friendly and i appreciate that let's see i've got a couple more here i'm trying to i do i have some that i'm sort of skipping over because i'm looking now and i'm like hey that's not so good uh like wassail do you guys know what wassail is that's when uh uh waluigi's really excited about the christmas sales uh anyway i thought i thought you would know that one but i guess i could have left that one in the game mark do you have a funny joke about wassail uh not as funny as that one no uh wario doing it same thing but wario uh well wario is objectively funnier so oh wassail is like a friendly toast like that song like here we go wass sailing and then it's like being what is that

it's a it's a christmas song no i thought you just that sounded like a pirate song here we go i sang it joyfully no it's all right never joyful no points on that one either despite how funny wade's answer was what the fine you know what? You're right. Points to Wade. But slightly more points to Mark for the funnier character doing the same bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, here's a tough one. Not like that wassail nonsense. This is a tough one. Mulligrubs. M-U-L-L-I-G-R-U-B-S. Mulligrubs or mulligrubs. I've heard of this word before.

You've heard of this? I've heard of this word before. You've heard of this? I've heard of this word before. I feel like I've never seen a word that even kind of looks like this word before, let alone know what this means in regards to the holiday season. Is it the thing to mash like peppermint into a drink? I'm sorry, are you asking me if a muddler is called a mully grubs the thing that is used by bartenders and is traditionally part of a bartending set called a muddler to muddle things into yeah no do you want that to be your guess or do you want to make it okay about it i'm gonna

retract that one i i think i think that m Molly Grubbs is department store owners that change the prices on their things when it says a sale and you get in there and it's like, not a sale. That's a much better answer than your first one, Mark. Good upgrade. Did you know that I actually worked as a bartender for a little bit? I do know that. That's part of what makes that so fun. Do you want to get some lenses, Mark? Tell us about some lenses. I think you've probably used a mudender for a little bit. I do know that. That's part of what makes that so fun. You want to get some lenses, Mark?

Tell us about some lenses. I think you've probably used a muddler before, Mark. I think I have, yeah, probably. You mean a mully grub? Who was the bartender here? Yeah, at Christmas time, I always just called it the old mully grubs, and I thought that was the word for it. You know, I didn't...

Yeah, there's a Christmas variant of everything. You wouldn't understand. Before Mark gives you another fucking answer i'm gonna go raid your your rage is no longer outworthy your age is now inside rage okay mark is back to his original answer so just give me your give me your guess mully grubs is kind of it sounds like money grubber wrong sorry go ahead which makes me think of ebenezer scrooge because he was a money grubber. So I think Scrooge was called a mully grub and then over time it became money grubber because he was so greedy and grumpy and wouldn't share his wealth. Once again, Wade, somehow almost couldn't be more wrong, but also very correct.

Very impressive. It describes a sour, sullen mood that often springs up around the holidays because it's very hectic and stressful. You might say that someone like Scrooge is certainly a mulligrub. So in reality, if you think about it, when you're having the Christmas blues, what do you reach for? You want one of those muddled drinks. Hot. booze what do you reach for uh you want one of those muddled drinks hot the old yeah because

you can't just have a straight shot of whiskey on christmas you gotta you gotta get a little christmas is that a needle oh i believe he's i believe he's mulling grubbing way to no no no uh borrow borrow that blur mark screen out editor blur that whole thing don't show, no, no. Blur that. Blur Mark's screen out of there. Blur that whole thing. Don't show that. No, no, no. Put me superimposed behind Wade on his green screen while... Blur my screen

and put me behind Wade. Mark just keeps sneaking into Wade's screen. Get out! Go away! Alright, Well, points to Wade. Not quite actually the right answer, but also exactly the right answer. Wade nailed it. I appreciate your answers, Mark.

It's sticking to your guns. I respect that. Points for respect. Thank you. Last word. Final word. I'm not going to give you any hints. I'm not going to preface this.

I'm just going to say this is the last word, which means it's the best word. And the word is crapulence okay this is an easy one for me this is whenever you're hosting christmas and your in-laws come to stay with you and you forgot to get them any gifts and you're like oh crap your parents but like you stutter as you say it you go oh crapulence i like the honesty i like that you would admit to having done that before and uh i literally didn get them anything, so you're right. I can see how that came up. You know, that's just part of life.

Thank you. Good answer. Good answer. Mark? Opposite of opulence. So opulence is like very fanciful. Crappulence is like trying to be fancy, but you live like in squalor. What a crappulent dinner.

What a cra crapulent affair it's cold spam and stale stale chips served with flat soda this is close wait neither of you is exactly right i think i have to give it to mark for being more right because crapulence describes the sickness or indisposition that occurs when you excessively eat or drink or otherwise party it up at the holidays yeah i agree mark is crappier thank you uh well anyway that's the last word points for that one go to mark excellent work and even extra pity points to mark because i, buddy. And it's that time of year. And I just want you to know I appreciate your friendship. And I'm doing my best here to really help you out. And despite how well you did, Wade just had such a commanding lead that he was basically

unbeatable in today's episode. And the win goes to Wade! Wait, is this the same episode where Mark got like negative 15 points to start? Yeah, Mark started this episode way behind on points. Yep. I was much more concerned than I should have been. I was playing it up for Mark trying to get him back in the game, Wade, but you had such a strong lead from the beginning there

that it was just really, it was a tough, you know, it was a tough row to hoe for Mark. You know what? On Christmas, we're all winners, and so, you know, don't feel too bad, but also, there has to be a loser, and right now, that's you. So do you have a loser speech? Uh, well, Merry Christmas, one and all. I'm pretty sure if I remember my Christmas stories pretty well, you know, the winners

got their comeuppances. I'm pretty sure that's a theme on Christmas. Thank you for considering me. And even though my clever ruse to get Wade to abstain from the episode didn't work and really blew up in my face, like really blew up in my face. Like, really blew up in my face. Really sabotaged the whole thing from the get-go here. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, it's the multi-layered operations that I'm running.

It's the many... Not multi-level marketing schemes. It's multi-level operations. It's the multi-level marketing streams. Yes. Yeah. That's the same word, but I emphasized your name. That's the one. So thank you for considering me in same word, but I emphasized your name. That's the one.

So thank you for considering me in this endeavor, and I'll get a mix on. Wade, congratulations. You have a winner's speech. Yes. He won't get me next time. Bears fair. Well, Merry Christmas.

If you're listening to this on Christmas, I hope you learned some new language to use now that the holiday season is basically moments from ending uh you've got that and you're under your belt and so you can really take advantage of that for the next six to eight hours and then you know wait till next year go bundle up and hog my dog everyone and if you ask you to raw haul my dog you know the answer should probably be no if you don't know what it means decline the request if you don't know what it means, decline the request. If you don't know what it means, run. Anyway, uh, yeah.

Thanks for listening, thanks for watching. Anyone who happens to watch, video available only on Spotify. Check out Markiplier, Wade, LordMinion777, or Minion777. I am MySkirm. We are the guys who host Distractible, and next time, the one who hosts it mainly will be Wade. That's

the end. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, so on and so forth. Podcast out.