Distractible - Curious Conspiracy Corner

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Bob, Wade, and Mark attempt to separate fact from fiction, venturing into the curious world of conspiracy theories. Maybe even a little too far... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode, bad guy Bob gets identified as a secret agent of anarchy and evil. Maritime Mark spits truth about starting out and reveals that Tenacious D are actually dolphins. And Scallywag Wade questions how diminutive Danny actually is and throws Mark under the bus. From weed-addicted vampire cage to dastardly dino-rider demagogues. Yes, it's time for Curious Conspiracy Corner. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back for another episode of your favorite podcast.

Number one podcast in the world. Everyone's favorite. Distractible. That's me. That's also me. Don't forget. Yeah, I'm joined as usual by my competitors for the day, Mark and Wade. It's those guys

who talked already, and I said them in the backwards order. You know who they are, probably. Probably. You know who Mark is anyway, that's for sure. Ouch, but fair. Not ouch. True. True, Wade. Alright, man. Hey, I mean your boat. It's not like I'm in Mark's boat. We're in the same boat, and Mark's in his own boat, and it's way bigger than our boat.

I like boats. I know. I thought you'd like the boat metaphor. If you've never seen this podcast, welcome. You've joined at a weird time, but they're going to compete. The winner of the episode hosts the next one. I'm going to give out points. I don't do that.

I just arbitrarily pick winner. I think we all know what happens at this point. Points don't matter. It's like Whose Line line is it anyway? That Aisha Taylor show. Tyler, Taylor, Tyler, Aisha Tyler. Are you okay, Mark? I got a light glare on my screen that I don't remember being there before.

I can't see my face when we're talking. Did your setup move or something? I don't know. That's a strange thing. Like, I have my haunted light here that I still haven't fixed, but this is the other light and I don't remember seeing this harsh of a glare on this. Maybe if I just turn the light, so... Well, then I lose illumination. Mark's got some real problems.

How are you today, Wynn? Oh, I'm doing well. Finally getting over that illness. Yeah, you sound less sick. That's pretty good. Still a little bit of that congestion left. I won't describe the horrible snot strands. I'll save you the description, but it's... cramps did i hear no snot cramps you got snam stowed i don't know

though i will say like you know the throat and nose do get pretty raw when you're constantly blowing your nose specifically right that was an accident like you didn't know uh well i'm glad you're healthy wood oh but then this blessing at the back. Okay, I was going to ask Mark how he's doing, but we can tell. If you're watching on Spotify podcasts, if you're watching the video only available on Spotify, you could see the horrible situation that Mark is in. It's suffering. Look at the illumination levels, Mark.

It's not, yeah, I don't have quite the same amount of edge lighting, but if it goes this way, then it's not yeah i don't have quite the same amount of edge lighting but if it goes this way then it's gonna just it's gonna glare the screen and right there and literally my camera lens is like shadowed right there oh that fixed it oh perfect i just moved my monitors that's what it was my monitor got moved to anyway it's all good guys all of mark's problems are solved that's all you got going on over there right this? This is such an easy fix. I'm professional. Okay.

Well, since Mark's not going to talk about it, I'm doing good. No, no. I have so much to talk about. I have so much to talk about. Oh, okay. Yeah, I do. Go ahead, bud. So what I wanted to do was I wanted to talk about, like, to clarify some things.

And this isn't necessarily to like clear my name or, or get people back on my side or anything like that. Oh, here we go. Kind of sounds like it's both of those, but okay. No, I wanted to, I wanted to talk very honestly about the things that I do and the things that I talk about and the things that I enjoy talking about are sometimes expensive. Yes. It's not necessarily because I have expensive taste, but I want people to understand this. And this isn't a defense of myself.

Everything I talk about is actually an investment on the work that I do. And the fascinating thing is, I hope it's not lost on people that I still recommend that when people are starting out, they do not get the best stuff right away. But I am 10 or 11 years into my career of doing this. So I have worked my way up to a skill level that necessitates to go further. I need certain things to get there. And some of them are expensive. And I always try to endeavor to get the cheaper option and look at something of high potential. But I still want to encourage people because there's probably some people that are getting the wrong idea.

Not just like people like, I can't afford that. It's like people are getting the wrong idea that you would need these things to do like more creative efforts. That's not what I'm saying. There's kind of an analogy that you can make with like a crayon. A crayon is cheap and a crayon can draw and a crayon can color and get a whole set of crayons. It's not a professional tool, but you can master that tool up to a certain level. It will take you very far because it'll develop your skills and it'll allow you to build a base of mixing colors and drawing things. And you can make incredible works of art

that are world level with crayons, right? You could. I'm sure. I'm sure there's some artists out there that do that, right? There must be artists who use crayons as like a serious medium that they do work. Yeah, sure. And if you were to ask certain professionals, some people might even prefer that if that's what they did all the time. The crayon analogy is how I use Photoshop, right? I don't use Photoshop, right? I use Photoshop to a crayon level, but I take the crayon levels of those tools to my extreme. But if you start to get into higher levels, there are higher quality colored

pencils out there that are actually worth the money and they are actually there. You do not need those right away. I often say people these days are somewhat fortunate because you can do pretty much everything you need to do to make YouTube videos, to make content, podcasts, like edit videos, do all this stuff on your phone. If you have a phone, even an older phone at like, at this point, you could have a phone that's five, six years old, and you'd still be able to make perfectly relevant content. Everything would look great, sound good. And, and you would be able to get there well enough. I am at a point where I'm trying to make higher level stuff. And this, again, this isn't a defense of what I'm trying to do.

I like these things still are expensive. That is very true, but you don't need them right away to get started in this. That's what we've always said in terms of encouraging people to make content is you want to start out and master the crayon level stuff first. And then only then when you realize the limitations that you have with those tools, do you start to look beyond it? Because if you start way higher than your skill level, you're going to have things and spend too much money on things you don't need because you don't even know how to use it. That was kind of my first foray into cameras. I bought a DSLR camera and I didn't even know what ISO was, F, T stops, F stops. I didn't know any of these things about cameras, but I bought it and it was basically a 500 useless lump of plastic that

i could not utilize properly until almost a year later it sat around i think i remember that camera and didn't you get like a t4i it was a t3i or t4i i can't remember which i feel like i remember because i saw what the first time i ever got to play with that camera i was like wow i'm gonna put it on auto yeah i know right honestly auto did better than anything i could do but meanwhile you guys tell me my camera's on auto and i'm like is that how because you're 10 years into your career like i'm not and i don't even know as much as mark knows uh and uh i'm in no way like an expert at these things but i have learned things way i have avoided knowledge like the plague you really do it's almost impressive how little you've managed to learn you can learn to

rock climb or you can just drive to everest and start walking that's what i say and here i am halfway up the mountain flailing my arms and screaming help but you know i'm here i thought you were just gonna say you could have someone drive you to the top of the mountain because i think that's a more accurate you can learn to rock climb or you could hitch a ride in someone else's truck to the top you can just deliver yourself to the mountain by calling a cab look i just want to say for that not being a defense of your actions mark done it very defensive very defensive, and I'm proud of you. But also, it's hard to keep perspective because this is our job, and spending more money on something

seems ridiculous to someone who's trying to do this as a hobby. I've definitely bought some expensive stuff where I could have cheaped out. Who's to say if I'm getting the full benefit of all of it? I think I am. I'm doing my best. But if you want to see what's possible with the crayon, an interesting example of this would be Autofocus, which is a channel that Marques Brownlee runs, which is a YouTube channel

about electric vehicles or cars in general, I think, but it's basically about EVs at this point. He shoots it exclusively on phones. He makes beautiful shots. He films extremely high quality, like 8K exquisite things that look ridiculous. He makes stuff with the cell phone, which to a normal person's eyes looks just as good. And he literally shot it on his iPhone. It's not necessarily about having expensive tools at all. If you have a lot of mastery of craft, you could make a lot of stuff with like one or two very simple things there's a guy on reddit who only takes pictures of the moon but like over time those pictures have gotten better and better each photo and i think that's a very similar type thing i think i heard about that

i that you know mark you like space that seems like something you'd be into oh wow i think i'm gonna recommend that to you i think i'm getting older by the consonant if by the time we end this podcast you haven't bought the moon i'll be disappointed i love your optimism of my finances i really appreciate that how expensive could the moon be no one else is trying to live there if no one owns it it's free right you just gotta get there which you know just get in someone else's car and they'll drive you maybe apple can get you to the moon thunderbolt your way there like zeus style got that zeus drip you know i just really i got i'm zoosed out to the nines you know what the

topic of owning the moon is actually i'm gonna call it a segue to today's episode topic uh because how many points no points because today we're going to be talking about one of our favorite topics that we haven't talked about very much but it is one of our favorite topics conspiracy theories oh thanks obama is that a theory never mind i did it wrong that's just a theory obama theory i don't know if that's right but two points for that the points go to mark though uh today i want to talk specifically about conspiracy theories as they pertain to like celebrities or personalities or whatever and i want to give you i want to start by talking about some examples and this is that i have a few that sort of get increasingly goofy uh but the first one i

feel like is one i could totally see why a lot of a lot of people might think this just because people are jerks uh but there's a conspiracy theory out there that stevie wonder is in fact not blind i've heard that one and like famously stevie wonder is a blind musician he plays keyboard instruments piano stuff and sings and like legendary musician but there are like a couple instances and especially there's a video of him catching a falling microphone stand that make people people look at it and they're just like he ain't blind how could he have done that that's not how being blind works you're not completely oblivious to anything around you that exists or makes noise yeah i mean so you've heard that wade uh do you believe it are you on board are we researching this as we go or are we

trying to just from the gut you don't have to do any research this is this is going to be an exercise in in following your gut when we get into the meat of it do you want to know how i know about this yes absolutely um there is a line an an epic rap battle between Stevie Wonder and Wonder Woman, where she says something about his antics raising vision questions. And I was like, what an interesting line. And I looked in the comments and someone had mentioned it. And they're like, oh, yeah, there's a theory about him faking his blindness. That's it.

That's the extent of my knowledge. I was hoping you would know more about it. But that's pretty funny. That's pretty on brand for me. Those guys are trying to be educational. Epic Rap Battles of History. You know, those Epic Rap Battles, they cram a lot of info into little lines, and you can miss a lot if you're not paying attention.

But whenever I hear a line that it's like, raising vision question, vision like Marvel, vision like eyes, what do they mean? And I did a little bit of research i did i scrolled down it drops up just enough curiosity for you to do some research while not leaving the web page you're already on and reading two things before you decide you've learned enough i have learned in life it is better to know a whole lot or no whole a little about a lot of things than it is to know a lot about a little. And I spend my life avoiding as much knowledge as possible.

I think you do actually have to know something about some things in order to count them as things that you know a little bit about, though. Oh, you'd think that, but I know a way around it. I have people around me who know and I just say, hey, Mark, help. Oh, all right, I'll help. Thank you. I just say, hey, Mark, help. Oh, all right. I'll help. Thank you. I actually blanked out while he was talking.

I do that a lot where my eyes just kind of glaze over. Did I feel the same when you talk about technology? But here's the thing. If he wasn't blind, there would probably be a lot more people trying to sell the story that he wasn't blind. You know, if you're faking something on that magnitude, unless you actually commit to the bit and you have your eyes closed the entire time and you try to live your life as blind, it is difficult to keep that a secret 24 seven. And when you are

blind, you need sometimes not everyone, like sometimes you need assistance doing other tasks. So you have more people around you interacting with you on a regular basis and therefore i kind of like posit that someone would have noticed because it is there are subtle things i'm okay with the coincidence of like catching a falling mic stand because again you can still hear you might notice that your voice is kind of not coming through your your monitors as nicely because you're the mic's falling away and well how did it fall they bump it like you would know if you bumped it you know it was like sitting next to him on stage and he like caught it as it started to fall over or something because so i think he heard someone bump it or he hurt like he heard it yeah and

technically speaking like you can hear things even if they're around you and your senses are sharper to things like that when you are blind especially a musician would have their ears in tune probably more than the average person um not necessarily for falling objects but at least they would have more brain power dedicated to their ears probably um and that being said like there are coincidences all the time if he caught one mic stand you know how many other times were there things that he didn't catch or didn't see or didn't look at i guess guess everything didn't see. Has anyone thrown a mic stand at him to see if he'll catch it? Uh, no, but that's a good idea.

Has Steve Aoki pounded him in the face with a cake? Boom! You look in the crowd and just everyone is Steve Aoki with cakes. I know what that is because I've seen clips of Steve Aoki doing that. I don't know why that is. Why does that happen? What's the deal with the cake thing with Steve Aoki doing that I don't know why that is why does that happen what's the deal with the cake thing with Steve Aoki if you don't know listeners he's a guitarist and he hucks cakes into the crowd and

that's people want to get hit by his cake is what I gather there's some clips of people being like me me and then he nails him with the cake and they're like yeah and you see their whole head just go like fully back touch their the nape of their neck. Just I was at one of his concerts at TwitchCon and literally like the whole front of the audience. Like he didn't just bring one cake. He had a bunch of like little cakes. And I'm pretty sure like front half of the audience was just covered in cake. That's awesome.

Is there a reason? Oh, I heard a conspiracy theory that he used to be a baker and it went horribly wrong but he's never able to let it go so now wherever he travels there's always cake yeah there was a crowd that is bakery and they were like boo we hate your cakes and he goes oh yeah and he puts on some music and wham and they're like wait a minute yeah and then he was like this is my calling i think he brought a bunch of cakes to TwitchCon. I don't question myself. Wade, you just accidentally erred points and don't even know what we're doing yet.

Wait, did he say like a secret phrase or something? Did he? I don't know. Cake, cake, bakery, bakery, cake. No, that's not it. Bakery, cake. Okay, I regret doing this. TwitchCon, TwitchCon, TwitchCon.

Listen, if you don't know why Steve Aoki throws cakes, then that's the only question that I had. If I can't get an answer, then we're moving on because I just don't understand it. Another conspiracy theory that you guys may have heard, Keanu Reeves is an immortal, unaging being. The man has been in the movie industry for like a few decades, three or four decades now almost. He's like a little older, but he doesn't seem to be aging the correct amount, you know? And also, if you look, he looks exactly like depictions of famous painter Monet. Which is an anagram for Keanu Reeves.

Yeah, if you look at how it's spelled in the original French, probably. But anyway, I mean, that's another one. There's also the conspiracy theory that Nicolas Cage is a vampire. It was in that movie recently. I have some foundational issues regarding vampires and whether they exist. But immortals, they do exist for sure. Yeah, no, obviously. In 2011, a man named Jack listed for sale a post-Civil War photograph of an unidentified man for $1 million,

a post-Civil War photograph of an unidentified man for $1 million, claiming that it was a picture of Nicolas Cage. Alive, young, thriving, survived the Civil War, went on to become a crazy actor man in the next century. What did he do in between? Smoked a lot of weed. He kind of got lost. You know, he burned out a little bit and he smoked a lot and he worked at a gas station for a while

and then figured it out eventually. So these are all conspiracies you may have heard. And they're interesting, but they're boring. They're old. They're other people's. What I want you to do is to make your own conspiracy. And we're going to do this in three rounds. Round one, I'm going to give you a couple options.

I want you to pick one of the celebrities I give to you and come up with a conspiracy theory about them. Round two, you'll be welcome to come up with a theory about whomever you like. And round three, we're going to keep as a surprise because I like it. But I want you to come up with a conspiracy in the vein of these ones. It can be kind of goofy. It can be more serious. It can be based on facts that you may know. It can be based off of nothing.

You can make up whatever facts you want to support it. I want you to sell me on a conspiracy. Make me believe your conspiracy. Okay. And in the first round, I want you to come up with a conspiracy theory about either, oh, it's not either, one of these people, Danny DeVito, Jake or Logan Paul, because they're the same guy, I think, I'm pretty sure. You can't use that. That's my conspiracy theory. Or Jack Black. I want you to sell me on a conspiracy theory about one of those people can be about anything you could make up whatever facts you want i believe you uh you will win and i can't believe both of you but i think we all know that's pretty unlikely i've got one

already locked and loaded is this one that you came up with or the first round was supposed to be him giving us celebrities so you can't be ready i am ready i i'm curious it's peaked i'm peaked wait go ahead danny devito is actually really really tall he has the opposite of the tom cruise thing going on where he intentionally has to have like people stand on things to make him look shorter so he can keep up his like old vibe and whenever you see him in person there's actually an entire team in like ninja suits dedicated to carrying around like mirrors and things to make him look shorter because he doesn't want to ruin his brand of being like a shorter dude well why did what is then how do mirrors help him look shorter

i don't know how does that how does that work do you know the details i don't have danny devito money and i don't have like that thing going where i'm like i mean i'm really tall but i like being really tall i can't imagine one to look like I mark height and being tall. So how tall is he? Like a few inches taller? Was he like 6'4"? Like how tall is he? Uh, 6'8". He's taller than us.

Yeah. Well, that's hard to believe. Hey, that's what conspiracy theories are sometimes, man. That's true. The harder it is to believe, the more I want to believe it's true. That's definitely how they work. So that's his brand. His brand is that he's short.

He uses his wealth and influence to make sure that this happens. But he stands directly next to other actors in TV shows. It looks like it. Where you can see their whole bodies. That's all. What is that? CGI? Is that Apple boxes?

I don't have an explanation for you. I just know for a fact that there are times when he was younger. But there's like photos of him looking a whole lot taller than he does now maybe he had like some kind of surgery maybe it's the mirrors thing maybe the people he's working around are even taller than him i don't know weird and where where i'm just curious where did you learn this information from uh the uh scallywag news.com well that checks out those scallywagnews.com. Well, that checks out. Those scallywags. All right. A simple, a nice, clean, simple one. Believable, maybe because of its almost meaningless purpose, I guess.

Because why would you do that? But I don't know. I'm not Danny DeVito. Who knows? Why does Tom Cruise allegedly want to be as tall or taller than everyone else he works with? Because being tall is generally considered a good thing. Unless your brand is not being the tall one. I guess.

Mark, how do you feel about this conspiracy? Uh, indifferent. My interest is not piqued. I care not for it. Okay. I don't know why I asked his competitor what they thought of Wade's. Makes sense. It's a little over his head, Bob.

That one wasn't a stray. That was aimed at you. that was just a shot fired daddy vito is actually six foot eight you heard her heard it here first probably uh mark yes i have about jack black yes this is something i've been compiling evidence for for a very long time i have video evidence audio evidence um i've written testimonies. Jack Black is actually blind. 100% verifiable. He cannot see. This is why he has a tendency to make very loud, high-pitched noises at random intervals, because he has mastered echolocation to be able to get a bearing on his surroundings. And he has used his bombastic nature and kind of outgoing personality to cover up these

It's actually a very sophisticated acoustic algorithm that allows him to projection map the entirety of the room that he's in and see people's expressions in his own mind so that he can gauge audience interaction so he's able to better facilitate his uh talent base and his performative abilities all take place on stage you'll see that he he often when he moves he moves in a very specific figure eight pattern on stage usually with his chest jutting out because he uses his chest as an acoustic resonator for capturing the bounce back signals and then he's able to build a more robust thing and then he comes back around uh to his same spot you'll

always notice he returns to his same spot because he's actually calculating how many steps he needs to go around to get the space that he's in it adapts to the environment so he does the figure eight because that's that's a repeatable pattern but the figure eight also helps him with his mapping of the area absolutely and if you notice whenever he's like shouting into the void he's never looking at anyone in particular he's always looking just generally along the horizon so he's the opposite of stevie wonder yeah yeah okay that's interesting you said that so you have videos of him doing the figure eight i presume written testimonies too and audio recordings oh yeah yeah i have all of it why why does his best friend bandmate partner of a long time kyle gas go along with this is kyle in on it or does he not even know? Kyle's also blind.

But he hasn't mastered the echolocation as well as Mr. Black has. So he has not been able to elevate his career as far as Jack Black has. I mean, I feel like KG does pretty good. I think he doesn't. I'm not saying he does poorly, but comparatively, I mean, everyone comparativelyatively to mr black may not be able to measure up but you can see the difference just a few skill points a cruise you have a point you do have a point did your light just turn off yeah oh also as an addendum fuck wade oh okay that was harsh i feel like i caught a stray there was that accidental i sneeze what are you talking about oh okay interesting first round i approve

both good conspiracy theories i have to say marx is way more salacious because uh that would be very interesting if that were true and that would be very difficult to get away with uh but i feel like wades is equally difficult to get away with and somehow way more intriguing because, again, just completely pointless. There's just no chance that any actor, even if your brand is that you're short, I feel like Danny DeVito's brand is more that he's funny and out of pocket and he can be wild. His character on Always Sunny, right? He's kind of fucking insane. And also he just happens to be short.

That nature of your conspiracy, Wade, makes me want to give you this round i just there's just no reason he would do that do you want to know why there's a theory as to why okay he started his acting career i believe in the late 60s the theory is he had some kind of like genetic thing where he didn't actually hit his growth spurt until the mid to late 70s and by then he was kind of already established as being like this short kind of comedic actor and so in order to keep that to get gigs he had to still come off as being the short guy you don't think being taller and as talented as he was would have just been like a like a boon maybe but you'd also think being talented and good at stuff would keep people from changing their names but some people have like stage names they use to to get gigs.

If you think you have a brand, you try to preserve that brand at all costs. If that brand included being short. OK, well, who am I to argue? Plus, I believe your conspiracy theory, apparently. So there we go. Danny, I am very sorry for revealing your secret. Points to you. Did you know you said he started his acting career in the 60s, and I was like, nah, that's

no way. He was born in 1944? Also, Danny DeVito's birthday is November 17th. That's coming right up, my short king. Happy birthday. Wait, I have an explanation for why there's sometimes stage names or things like that, or actors change their names and stuff. It's not necessarily just about vanity.

Every new member of the union, the Act the actors union must have a custom name so you cannot have two working actors that have identical names um so that's part of the reason why some people do if they have a particularly common name or they know that they have the same name as an actor they might preemptively change it just to like get ahead of the curve so that they wait but didn't the guy who played uh the doctor uh tenant david tenant right didn't he change his name to david tenant because that was an actor he like revered or something uh maybe but then again david tenant is a actor in the uk so they have probably a different actors union and a different rules even though that many uk actors do act in American probably are a part of SAG, but I would, I would be willing to bet that the UK has their own actors guild. There's a lot of UK actors that are better at being American than Americans are at being American. It's true. And very funny when that

happens, when there are two, there are two people who both have like English or Irish accents talking to each other as Americans. And they're like totally believable. I think the benefit of that is that there's so many american accents that pretty much you would believe anything i mean not saying that that's not a good skill to learn it is much more difficult for an american to learn like a british accent but it's like there are a lot of american accents and pretty much and like you you listen to someone from louisiana it's gonna be they're gonna be from another country did i ever tell you I was doing a D&D campaign one time and our D&D DM told us to like make a character who had a Southern accent. And I was like, all right, let's go for some, like some

biscuits and gravy and whatnot. I got this. And I went and did that. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Southern British accent, like Sussex. And I was like, uh, I don't even know a British accent. What do you mean Sussex? Itsex it was like just just give me your best shot and so the only thing i knew in the uk other than the british accent was the scottish accent so i was like well if it's not british i'm from sussex and he was like no no you were like well you told me to do anything so i did that the whole time and he wanted to murder me i don't well it's his fault because how do you ask do a southern accent oh no are you the only american in that you're not i know this but like no no well this was um this was not on my normal channel this was on roll for

it are they all british or something some of them are there's a there's a group that were in my group i think there were one or two of us that were not in like two or three that were because there's just no context where you say do a southern accent to american and expect them to understand that i know but like in america we say do a southern accent and we would never think like oh we met he thought southern british accent no no no southern american obvious like we're just so fucking vain that we think we know southern accent means southern american accent i think that i feel like that would be pretty ubiquitous like across the world like southern accent is quite famous like even outside of america i don't know man i i i just uh that might be that might be a little bit of uh american exceptionalism i guess maybe given that american media is consumed all around the

world i'm pretty sure that people would understand that typically a southern accent uh gravitating towards the south of the united states which even in in the south of the united states there is a wide breadth of southern accents from charleston to texas to like i said louisiana i'm not laughing at you i'm laughing at a thought that i had that's almost unrelated to what you were saying i was just imagining english people uh i don't know why you said southern american accent you're talking about that and i was like yes english people uh i don't know why you said southern american accent you're talking about that and i was like yes yes uh what's that accent called uh hill hill hill william do a hill william accent hill william i just i heard the whole exchange in my head and i lost track of reality for a while i'm really sorry but that made me laugh, Mark. So you get points. I'll take him. I'll take him.

I caught a stray point there, but I'll take it. You got caught in the crossfire. Take those. Take those points. Don't get caught in the crossfire. I do know that like a northern English accent is a thing. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's all a conspiracy.

Probably. Anyway, what were we talking about? Conspiracy theories. Round two. Oh, right. Round two. Same deal, but you can pick any celebrity that you want so it could be someone that you that you like that you know a lot about to be someone that you feel like there should be a conspiracy about because it just makes sense i don't follow much celebrity news it could be like

internet people it can be like whatever like we're i've got one if mark you need some time i can go again unless you want to go first no no you can go i don't have it yet have have at it sir i've heard from some reliable sources that the celebrity mark fishbach was a google prop and when stadia collapsed apple bought his rights and has been using him and promoting him and helping him grow to help promote their own brand from like within but hey that's just a theory okay google knew that they wanted to make stadia you know google still exists right like they're killing it right they needed a gamer to help sell stadia from what i know and what i've been able to find there's only been one person in the entire world that stood behind stadia through thick and thin even after

it's been gone and then all of a sudden this gear switched to all these apple products i'm just saying kind of adds up with theory it was there was a distinct cutoff there's certainly a google era and now an apple era to to mark's leanings and technical discussions kind of supports what the whispers have been saying since the start since the start of what it Since the start of Mark. I feel like I've already said too much because this might get back to him. Mark was born into the world and as he slipped out of the womb, the universe was just like, Google. Some doctors give a smack on the butt.

He, from what I heard, got a branded Google on one cheek. That's funny because I don't know if Google was founded at that point. But they knew it was coming, Mark. They knew it was coming. I see. Google was founded in 98. The Illuminati already knew that Google would be there. And if you switch the numbers around in 98, what do you get?

89. That's how time works. You know what? That is an excellent conspiracy theory point. You are 100% 100 correct if you switch those numbers places it does say 89 and that's a year mark was born i didn't have to connect the dots for you that's how the theories work man they write themselves you just give someone the evidence and let them follow the trail and when they end up at your location you know you're on

to something interesting choice uh to do a conspiracy theory about your friend but uh that's fine you had that one you had that one locked and loaded that one oh i thought about it whenever you do whatever you told us there were three rounds we got to pick i was like what would be funny i was like what if i do something about mark and that was it's funny that you say that but we'll get to that later i've got a conspiracy theory to end all conspiracies can it not be about celebrities it doesn't have to be as a vessel it could be about, no, you know what? Any conspiracy you want. You go crazy.

Here we go. You ready? Because buckle up because this shit's about to get wild. I just have two ends. Where's the buckle? Everyone always criticizes the elite and the Illuminati or the powers that be, what have you, for destroying the world, right? And they're right.

You know, they're destroying the world, but not for the reasons that they think they are. It all centers on something that's been in front of our faces the entire time, but nobody has been willing to acknowledge the truth. Because we know that the ice caps are melting, right? We know that glaciers are peeling off of Antarctica. We know that this is occurring. And we've always just taken it as like, oh man, it's so sad. This is a byproduct of what's happening. This is just like a symptom.

This is just, oh man, it's going to lead to some some horrible things but what they don't realize is the truth lurking right in front of their faces the ice caps are melting the ice and the permafrost is melting right off of antarctica and revealing something lurking underneath people don't know that antarctica is an entire continent in of itself what happens when you clear an entire continent in and of itself. What happens when you clear an entire continent that was previously inaccessible due to meters, miles of ice, as far as you can see? Dinosaurs. Yes, exactly.

There's something down there. There's something alive, just waiting to be reborn. And the elite and the powers that be know that they cannot control the population unless they both reduce it and then have something with which to ride upon as they conquer the world. Saddles. They'll make those.

They have the technology for that. They're not a fan of like airplanes though? No. Or ships? Big ships? There are aquatic dinosaurs. There are flying dinosaurs. There are land-based dinosaurs.

Are there wheel-based dinosaurs? Is this like a Transformers type situation? Space-based dinosaurs. Are there wheel-based dinosaurs? Is this like a Transformers type situation? Space-based dinosaurs. Look, I can't say all the details because I've only seen the redacted pages. I haven't seen the fully uncensored satellite imagery. But things are moving. And at the center of it all, at the very pole in the south, is something that looks suspiciously like a giant egg, miles in diameter, enormous beyond all your comprehension, an egg larger than anything

else. There's something there. And you might be saying, wait, Santa's in the North Pole. But you know, he's been getting doxxed for like hundreds of years. So he had to move. Dude, Santa is a red flag, is a false flag. Fucking the casual Santa. You know what I was hung up on, Mark?

I was like, how are dinosaurs going to redact information? How did you see a redacted? It makes sense, though, is they have a redactile. I can't believe you laughed at that, you son of a bitch. I was going to get the blank wade stare Oh yeah you like my Sussex accent When's the time you coming over for ting and crumpets And scones Alright I'm done laughing

Cause no laughing matter A red dactyl What's in the egg It could be the king of the beasts. The greatest dinosaur of them all. The super ultra mega lodon? Yes, exactly. I'm glad you know the scientific name.

The ultra mega lodon. It's going to wipe the earth clean. The powers that be don't realize that they're just going to be fodder underneath their claws. There was rumors all over the world for all throughout a human history of the lizard people, what they didn't know, sophisticated evolved dinosaurs that only believed in size above all else. How big are you talking? If the egg is anything like what the satellite imagery is judging based on the length of the shadows off of the South Pole, because everyone knows it's just a big pole and everyone knows how tall it is so i won't repeat it here if you judge by the sad the shadows and the sun in that time of year when the satellite was taken it could be anywhere from 3.4 miles to 6.9 miles in diameter and that's just an egg we're talking about like all the way down your pant leg and then dragging behind you absolutely

whatever he said is probably true that's big yeah it's huge man and that's just the baby like when that thing's born it's gonna grow yeah so yeah it's gonna hatch and then it's gonna grow what's it gonna eat everything god damn it i mean right right no god damn it that's i know that's how i felt too when i first when i saw the when I started connecting the dots. Couldn't believe it. You were all like Alan Grant taking off your sunglasses when you saw the dot. Whatever that reference was. Because if you're going to be a conspiracy theorist you have to wear sunglasses inside when you look at your board.

I mean there's a couple of ways to conspire but that's only one of them really. Oh my god. What's on my mug? Oh god. Mark is on the other side god Mark is on the other side Mark is on the wrong side of history right now That's not possible Alright, well I was gonna talk through it all

But honestly it's not even close Mark's conspiracy wins that round Love it Almost want it to be true I had to resist the urge to go to Google Earth Right now to try and look at satellite imagery of the South Pole well if you went to Google Earth you would just see Mark there

because well they owned him not anymore gotta keep your conspiracies straight and uh that brings us to round three which you kind of ruined Wade but that's okay we can run with this you said anybody

I was gonna have round three be both of you making conspiracies about each other, but you went straight for Mark. That was your first choice. You don't know any other celebrities. Mark's the most famous person you know. It's sweet. Cute even. But that means that both of you are going to now have to make conspiracies about Wade.

That seems fair. I can't imagine that gives Wade any advantages. Probably disadvantages, really, because he knows himself too well. He knows what's true. Uh-huh. But yeah. Mark, if you're ready, you want to go first? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. In an age where digital content reigns supreme, a mysterious audio series emerges, captivating minds with its enigmatic themes and challenging narratives. But behind the allure lies a shadow organization with a hidden agenda. As listeners

become unwitting participants in a clandestine experiment, ethical boundaries are shattered and lives are irrevocably altered. Unbeknownst to them, select individuals are identified for their psychic potential, drawn into advanced studies from which some never return. As desperate families and anonymous insiders come forward, the question arises, how did a seemingly innocuous form of entertainment become a conduit for something so dark and dangerous? Well, it all lies in the person at the center of these events, the eye of the storm that is the whirlpool of darkness and dismay. I would like to start with some quotes that pertain to the event from people that were affected directly. Quote from Sarah Williams. I was a regular listener of Distractable,

but things changed when they sent me a cryptic email after I submitted my reactions to one of their special episodes. It was as if they were probing not just for my opinions, but for something deeper, something inexplicable. I didn't sign up to be a lab rat, so I unsubscribed. Still, it makes you wonder what they're really after. Another said, after I responded to a prompt in a distractible episode, they sent me an invite for what they called Phase 2. I was curious, so I agreed. The next episode was different, intense, disorienting, seemingly spinning off in random circles,

covering topics they already talked about weeks, sometimes years before. I had nightmares, and then I started seeing things, shadows, flashes of images that weren't there. Whatever they were doing, it's not just a podcast anymore. It's something darker, and I want to know part of it. At the core of all this is one man, one man above all else. Bob Myskins, host of the popular podcast Distractible, is in fact a cover for a sinister government operation known as Project Distraction. In the podcast, Bob seems to talk about random, unrelated topics, but in reality, he's subtly planting seeds of doubt and distrust in the minds of his listeners. It's all a psychological experiment aimed at identifying potential recruits for the organization. I'm here to expose the truth about it.

Wade, would you like to contribute? I found some information that I found to be very intriguing that I don't know, Mark, if this corroborates what you found or if this is its own thing. I have found evidence from, what was the name of the person? Did you say Sarah Williams?

Yeah, Sarah Williams. Okay, this is either the same Sarah Williams or a different Sarah Williams because I've also got information from Sarah Williams. Probably the same. Suggesting that there are either two, he's living a double life or he has a twin he's never revealed. While the well-known version of

Bob MySkins is a well-known YouTuber and gaming content creator who's primarily known for his gaming videos and collaborates with their content creators, Sarah Williams talks of the same person in an entirely different set of circumstances. And I actually have her testimony. Sarah Williams is an investigative journalist with a passion for unraveling mysteries and is an avid fan of MySkirm's gaming adventures and content. She heard some rumors floating around that there was a Robert MySkins, a scientist and inventor, doing all kinds of like ungodly horrible deeds in the town of, let me see what it was, Ixalville. He was known far and wide as MySkirm, a name that sent shivers down the spines of those who heard it. Myskerm had a reputation for being a recluse. He resided in a grand ancient mansion

on the outskirts of town, a mansion that seemed to hold secrets of centuries past. Some said it was cursed, while others believed it was filled with hidden treasures. The townsfolk whispered tales of ghostly apparitions and unexplained phenomena surrounding the mansion, fueling the curiosity and fear of the locals. One fateful day, a young and brave journalist, Sarah, arrived determined to uncover the truth about Myscrim's alienatic mansion. She believed there was more to the story than the spooky legends circulating the town. Her journey was fraught with obstacles, including skeptical townsfolk who warned her to stay away. But undeterred, she persisted, researching old archives and interviewing those who dared speak about Myscrim. As she delved deeper into the

mystery, she discovered that he had once been a renowned inventor and scientists as mentioned helped countless inventions many of which were years ahead of their time one evening she wrote as a storm raged outside i ventured into the mansion determined to find the truth i uncovered hidden rooms filled with mesmerizing gadgets intricate blueprints in a journal detailing bob's life's work i realized that my skirm had not been a recluse out of fear or malevolence but rather to protect his revolutionary creations from falling into the wrong hand as i explored further i encountered holographic projection of bob himself in this hologram he explained he had dedicated his life to advancing technology for the betterment of humanity he remained hidden to safeguard his inventions and ensure they would only be revealed when the world was ready for their potential

i asked what about your public persona your your gaming content, your streams? To which he replied, oh, I'm not prepared to talk about that. For you see, that's not me. And as soon as it begun, the hologram ended, leaving Sarah confused, wondering, what did he mean? Were there two Bobs? Was it one Bob? Did he have a twin? And such, a lot is left to our imaginations. Yeah.

I've got to actually, I think I corroborate that like perfectly because there's an anonymous insider from the organization that this mysterious Bob was running that is trying to expose the truth. They said, quote, I worked or I work or worked within the organization behind Distractable. The public needs to understand that this isn't just an experiment. It has real consequences. People have disappeared and not just figuratively. I can't reveal my identity for obvious reasons, but someone has to blow the whistle on this. Don't engage with their

special episodes. Don't become another missing piece in their twisted puzzle. What I think is happening is it's a consciousness upload program where they're trying to get people to upload their consciousness and then use their corporeal forms as puppets, but they can control the population. So you think like the public persona version is forming an audience just to have sheep to lead to the slaughter, so to speak? Absolutely. You upload the consciousness of the individual. They can exist online making content.

They've never seen them in real life. It's Pied Piper, leading them all into the machine slaughter. I feel like if we looked at certain points of Bob's career, we could probably pinpoint the progress. What he was uploading, how he was acting, where he was living, and different events that were happening in those areas. I think there's a lot of dots to be connected, and Sarah Williams is the key. Yeah, I actually have another quote from Sarah Williams. I think it's her last one. So this is from a, this is a text transcription of an audio log that Sarah left behind on her final exploration. I've made it into a room that appears

to be some sort of control center. There are monitors displaying real-time analytics of listener engagement, biometric data, even geolocation. It's not just a podcast. It's a data collection operation on a massive scale. And there's something else. Files marked phase three. I didn't open them, but their very existence is chilling. This isn't just unethical. It's organized, premeditated exploitation. I've gathered as much evidence as I can, and I'm getting out of here before I'm discovered. What I've seen goes beyond mere speculation or conspiracy theory. It's organized manipulation with unknown but clearly dangerous aims.

Whoever's behind this has resources, intelligence, and a complete disregard for ethical boundaries. Listen, if you're tuning into that podcast or thinking about it, just stop. Don't be another pawn in their game. I'll do everything in my power to expose them, but for now, stay safe and stay skeptical. People have disappeared, and the rest is just screaming. I tried to look up what happened to her, and what I got was Sarah Williams, the intrepid investigative journalist, had always been relentless in her pursuit of the truth, but when she got too close to a shadowy conspiracy she mysteriously vanished without a trace leaving behind a trail of clues and a haunting question that still lingers in the world of journalism kind of fits what her warning was all about absolutely i think at the core of

all this we need to look more deeply into who this robert. Agreed. Also, Bob points. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Uh. So. Listen. Hey folks, that's all we have time for today on the Curious

Conspiracy Corner. We've explored some wild theories, some wacky ideas, maybe even ventured a bit too close to the edge of absurdity. Remember, conspiracy theories are meant for entertainment purposes, not for taking seriously, so please don't go accusing anyone of secret

syndicates or government activity or anything without any evidence, which we did not present any today, because this was just for jokes and stuff. Yeah, if you have any questions, make sure you can go to the Discord and you can share them,

and don't worry about that. Make sure you keep your tinfoil hat ready, and it's time to pick a winner. So everybody had some funny stuff today. I think my favorite, even though that last round was really good and very funny, I think my favorite was even though that last round was really good and very funny, I think my favorite was probably the dinosaur theory.

Danny DeVito, I agree. No, he's not a dinosaur. I like the dinosaur theory. Unless Wade has anything to add. Wade, do you believe? Who were you talking about? Sarah, what's her name? Never heard of her.

Sarah Williams, the investigative journalist. Uh-huh. Do you believe what she had to say? Oh, absolutely. Interesting. Mark, do you believe what she had to say oh absolutely interesting mark do you believe what sarah williams not at all what a crackpot okay absolutely i can't believe it no no mark come back by a strange coincidence and probably only because of the dinosaur one he did. Mark was the winner of today's episode. Uh, yeah, we have fun here. Anyway, congratulations, Mark. Would you like to give a winner's speech?

Absolutely, I would. Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, friends and family, first of all, let's not tiptoe around it this is incredible winning this is a significant milestone not just for me but for everyone who's been part of this journey i'm standing here but trust me i didn't get here on my own everyone who supported me so far you taught me not just the skills but also the values that have shaped me both professionally and personally this win is a testament to your unenduring wisdom. I'd also like to acknowledge my competitor.

You pushed me to do better. To be more innovative and focused. We might be the ones holding the trophy tonight. I might be the one holding the trophy tonight. Excuse me. But the race we all run together is what truly elevates our field. Lastly, let's not forget the work we do to

impact the lives, communities, and world at large. So while I celebrate this win, let's also forget the work we do to impact the lives, communities, and world at large. So while I celebrate this win, let's also remember the responsibility that comes with it. Thank you, everyone! Let's keep pushing boundaries. Let's keep making a difference. Cheers! Thanks so much, Mark. Well said. Excellent winner's speech. Wade, would you like

to give a loser's speech? I'm so sorry. Conspiracy theories aren't real and whatever Bob says is right. Funny as always. Thank you so much, wade for trying your best today we really appreciate it and uh you know keep being you keep keep it classy mark i hope you enjoy your imaginary trophy and the kind of real bragging rights that come with it uh thank you listeners for joining us today if you watched the video make sure you you enjoyed i hope you enjoyed it make sure you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you watch it. It's available on Spotify. You can watch the video.

You should definitely watch the video. It's really more effective if you watch the video. Remember, keep your conspiracy theories lighthearted and fun, like the conspiracy theory that maybe we'll sell merch someday. And you can find me at MySquareMark at MarkiplierWade at LordMinion777 or Minion777.

Thank you, everyone everyone for listening. Podcast out.