Distractible - Definitely Real Things

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

The guys are spreading the good word in Bob's new game for Mark and Wade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Monopoly Double Play is back at McDonald's and it's easy to get into the win. There are millions of prizes to be won, including a new chance to win cash every minute in the app. Get into the game with Monopoly Double Play at McDonald's. While supplies last, 1 in 5 chances to win Game Peace prizes at outset. Chances to win Double Play prizes based on time of code entry, and draw prizes based on number of entries in each draw. See rules in app. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable.

This episode, Brandon Bob knows his sausages can't do accents and gets the guys to be cunning linguists. Modified Mark goes conquering for sundered nuts, louse sharing a scabbard, home beverages and pachyderms. Bottled Wade prepares harassment suits, tortures the walking wounded, and accidentally advises daytime drinking from the follicly challenged to Wesson's Wormt. Yes! It's time for Definitely Real Things.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of the world's favorite podcast, Distractable. I'm your host because I won the last one. My name is Bob and I'm joined per usual by my two competitors and co-hosts for the day, Wade and Mark. Hello, hey.

Sorry, I'm struggling with technology. Getting older you know. We're getting very old that's actually what we're gonna talk about today. If you've never seen this show it is a show where I give points because I'm the host and the two guys who just said hello they're competing and one of them wins and then they host the next one and then I compete against the loser and so on and so forth and it's all made up and the points don't matter but we write them down on our little scraps of paper. Before we get into I do have a game for today that we're gonna play and it's fun? Question mark?

Before we get into that, how's it going fellers? How you doing? How's it hanging? You know, you know. Do I? I got a headline for you if you want it. Oh hell Yeah, cheating alleged after men's world conquer champion found with steel chestnut Um, I don't know anything that you just talked about. Yeah. Well, maybe a picture would help elucidate this this situation

Let me just give you let me let me show you a little bit of what we're talking about here And then it should clear it right up and you should not be confused anymore. All right, you ready? Conquer champions? Oh Yeah, there you go. I see this is like from the leprechaun olympics Wait describe this for the listeners in the top left corner of the screen We have a hand with a sleeve rolled up past the wrist We have a nice blue sky, light clouds. The hand appears to be holding a stick with an acorn on it. Probably a chestnut. On the other side we have a gentleman

with a black bowler hat I think they're called. Wearing a green jacket. On the outside it looks like the inside is yellow. It's kind of a leprechaun-y look. The man is an older gentleman with gray hair, some gray eyebrows. He's holding his left hand up to admit he cheated. And his right hand is wrapped up on what looks like a chestnut balloon string. And his chest is covered in chestnutty apricorns. Apricorns, yes, interesting. Did I describe it well enough? You sure did. I'm really proud of you.

The fuck would I just look at? I know this, and I'm sure everyone else does. Conker's is a traditional children's game where you're supposed to take turns hitting each other's conkers. It's not what we called it when we were kids. Is this ball tap? With the object of breaking the other player's nut. So I can see how having a steel conquer apricorn,

nope, chestnut, steel chestnut, that would be cheating, cause that's not gonna break, steel is tough. Yep, so I think that's the long and the short of it. You smash your nuts together until they explode. What has happened to our culture? You remember like 10 years ago, balls of steel used to be so good now. It's Apparently Conkers are the seeds of the chestnut tree, but they are also called

Oblionkers cheggies or cheezers. So maybe that's why you were confused cuz you you thought you don't know we were talking about cheezers Yeah, I thought I don't know about cheezers. Oh, he had steel cheezers. Yeah, you we were talking about cheesers. Oh he had steel cheesers? Yeah he had a steel cheeser, this guy. How'd you find this Mark? Oh I have various research methods that I will not elucidate. Man, Goh's really struggling for content right now. Oh there's a- here's one to you Wade, this is um this is a very topical thing to you. Uh, High Court, I don't know which court, but it seems like Scotland. High Court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment. It is when Wade does it. I have so many lawsuits coming toward you viewers and listeners.

In the Scotland, yes. Uh, just so happens, I might have land in Scotland. Ah, maybe. Are you a lord? I've got a one foot by one foot land square that makes me a lord. It might not be Scotland, but I think it is. It was a birthday gift. This is gonna be fake.

It follows a lengthy legal case brought by electrician Tony Finn, who claimed he had been sexually harassed by his boss during a heated row in 2019. Mr. Finn, 64, made the claim against the British Bung Company, where he worked as an electrician for 24 years before he was fired in 2021. Yes, the British Bung- Yes, that British Bung Company. Ohhhh, okay. I remember watching the British Bung off.

Yeah, he said he was a victim of sexual harassment after comments were made about his baldness, including being called a stupid bald C sensor, sensor, sensor. That could be cock. It could be cunt. It could be crap. Fill in the blanks.

Cream, but spelled wrong. Sizzler, but spelled really wrong. Crisp with no I. Crank with no N. Cock, a cart. Jolly young fellow. Canned, dot E, canned. C-A-N-D, you got it.

Carp. Carp, oh, you bald carp. You stupid bald carp. The three person employment tribunal panel, the highest court in Scotland apparently, said the remark, quote, crossed a line. It dismissed an argument that the comment was not sexist because women can be bald, too. The judgment said there was a connection between the word bald and the protected characteristic of sex, noting that it is, quote, much more prevalent in men than women.

Judge Jonathan Brain added, we find it inherently related to sex. Hm. So this has sounded like it's not a joke. It's not a joke at all. Why would you think it was a joke? Because you said this has to be a joke when you started reading it and I was thinking it. That's true, you did- No, no, I said it had to be fake. I couldn't believe it because I was a ghast. I was a ghast I was like, I can't believe this is the world we live in aghast I can't tell you the number of times I've walked by like a Scottish construction site

Just heard them like whistle and go bald The bald calling I'm glad it's coming to an end in a perfect American accent. They're bald bald to an end. In a perfect American accent they're bald bald bald. Hey laddie! Bald! It's disgusting. For some reason because they're on a construction site it's just like a like a New York accent in Scotland. He's like oh I can't even do it next time. Hey you're bald in here! Look at this guy Baldi! Anyway that's it. Great article, man. That was a good find. I'm glad that, um, I'm glad that my kind is finally getting the recognition and treatment we deserve. It's only fair. Does that mean we have to stop saying that to you?

Do you want, would you like us to make fun of you in different ways? I've just always considered it flirting and you guys are welcome to continue. Okay. I'm kinky and I like it. I'm gonna start calling you hairy instead. That is offensive and I'm gonna take and I like it. Just start calling you hairy instead. That is offensive and I'm going to take you to the highest court of Ohio. The Ohio labor tribunal? No. Yeah. I love a tribunal. We got an inherent tribunal thing going on here and I think that's the

reason why we're so successful. There's always three. Is that why it's called a tribunal? Nevermind. I see now. I understand with the name you don't see a lot of bybunals need don't well be you know no my be you know if you're being formal what are we doing small talk oh you know what you know what I was gonna bring up I forgot last episode somehow this completely slipped my mind we're talking about cringe stuff when you hugged your teacher yeah man that one but I thought of a cringe moment that happened to me in front of you two. I don't recall. I think we were doing the tour. I think we were doing the You're Welcome Tour. It could have been a convention. I don't remember exactly the specifics, but we were walking from

either the convention center or the show center to a hotel. We came across some fans and there was a guy in a wheelchair and like two other people with them and they came up and they were like hey can you guys like sign? We're like sure we just both signing and the guy in the wheelchair asked us to sign his arm and I was a little bit late catching up because I was talking to someone else or whatever and you guys had all signed his arm. I was he was like yeah wait but you signed my arm? I was like yeah sure so I took Sharpie and right on the heart of his elbow I signed my name and apparently the part of the conversation I missed was that he was gonna get all of those tattooed on his arm. Ah.

As I signed his elbow he looked at me so sad. He was like, that's gonna hurt so much. And I was like, what the sharpie? Having no idea that the man was gonna get that tattooed. So you never realized that, or neither of you were like, you could do it again. And he just tells the tattoo artists not to go here. Or is it like a mad tattoo artist?

I think I offered these like, no, that's okay. That would be a lie. Mark. That second signature might as well. Just be a big middle finger that he draws on there. Well, you know, the second one one we have to charge 50 grand. The first one's free, but second one, we got to charge a lot of money. It's true. But yeah, I remember just that feeling of like him looking,

I was so proud. I was like, dude, that came out really well. I should sign bones more often. It's a nice tight surface where the W looks great. One of my better signatures. And he just looked so sad. You got a nice tight elbow, sir. Huh? Great for writing.

You all looked at me like I was the biggest asshole. You're like, dude, why would you sign? There's like I didn't know he's going to get tattooed. I missed that part of the conversation. Maybe maybe my memory is just getting bad, but I don't remember that. But I'm sure it happened. You. Yeah, I recall that after the episode was like, oh, I forgot that one. If you're still watching after all these years, I'm so sorry.

He did it on purpose, don't believe him. I'd do it again, but like, this time it would be intentional, intentful. Intentional is a word. Intentional is a word, you don't need to question that one. All right, we got Joey Chestnut on my mind or whatever the hell the thing. Joey Chestnut, is that the hot dog guy? Joey Chestnut! Yeah, he's the Nathan's hot dog eating champion. He's my champion. Anyway, he was expunged

Expunged dis bond sponged. He was expunged. Do you mean beaten or do you mean his records were taken away? No, he got a different sponsorship from a different hot dog. He's a con man I don't get it. I don't get it. This cons is a brand of hot dog. Oh I don't get it. I don't get it. Is it cons as a brand of hot dog? Oh Okay, ah n right like con. I'm an Oscar Meyer mister He went indie he only it's Queen City sausages now, I'm glad we'd like that Can we go back we start from the top with the describing the picture? It's too late now. That guy's a conk man. God damn it. I don't feel good today.

Maybe I'm not understanding the nuance of Conkers, but how would you not notice if a thing that was supposed to be a nut from a tree was actually made of metal? Is that less obvious than it seems like it would be to me? How does the duel go? Do you just slap them on sticks against each other? They're not sticks. It looks like you have the nut on a string and you go swang and you try and like smack them against each other on the strings. So it was a picture still image but they were on strings and they were swinging them. That's why

the guy had it wrapped around his hand, because it's a string. That makes more sense than the weird metal rod Wolverine claw I was picturing. Yeah, no, that's not it. I was like, oh man, he's got a brass stick knuckle. Turns out his Conker was just a gun. He was just shooting everybody else's nuts. How do we not know? I looked at it, I was like, nah, that seems fair. But now in retrospect, what were we thinking?

Oh wait, it's British though. What were we thinking, Governor? Scottish. No, not Scottish. That was the ****. Whoa, whoa, you can't just say that, dude. 2024. Editors, bleep that out. Sensor that. Editors, from now on we have to censor the word ****.

I'm sorry to burden you with this. I can say it though, cause I am, you know. This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties. Let's taste the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Mark, are you, do you have yours?

Are you excited? They sent us these special and then we're gonna, we're gonna try them. I've been in an undisclosed location kind of in a... Sucks to be you! Cheers Bob! Yeah! I actually haven't had like a tasty treat in a while it's been... It's like if Oreos was a drink, honestly. It's kind of unexpected flavor but it's almost like kind of like the icing of an Oreo. What do you think Mark? Uh, editors, put in the sound of me glugging. That's great, guys.

So good. Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar, limited edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Ah. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024, Mondeliz International Group. Mondelise International Group. Alright well, shall we move on to the game, gentlemen?

Sure. I hope you've got a lot of words in your brains. I used a gasp earlier so I've got a few. Cause you're gonna need some sweet sweet words for this one. I'm gonna be honest, I stole this from another thing, I saw this on TikTok. It just, it just looks like a fun word game. So I want to play it. I didn't invent this. I don't even know if it has an official title. I call it word game really gives it away. I'm going to give you two words and you need to connect to these two words

by saying like two word phrases. So a short example would be I give you the word paper and the word dance and you could say paper cut cut in line line dance and it's two word phrases but I'm excluding like in or on you can have little what are those called the small words you can include the small words it's two big words in any number of small words like look my ass yeah yeah yeah sure but not look at my ass no no just look my ass which ones are the big words in that look and ass look ass maybe there's just a comma ass big my small huh I'm misunderstanding everything that's happening I think where is small what did anyway it's okay because we're going to kind of work together. It's a game of cooperatively getting from point A to point B and you're not going to earn points

for finishing the puzzle but you are going to earn points along the way for the quality of the connections that we can make. And you're welcome to make it like the example I gave you is very short right? There's three things but you're welcome to make it and I assume we will make it fairly long I'm just gonna give you a starting word and an ending word and we're gonna take turns going back and forth I just wanna I just want to make some connections you know I'm not fully understanding I don't think okay I'll give you another example we'll give you the starting word is phone and the ending word is lock and then to there, you could say phone, number,

number pad, pad lock. So each of these sets of words is like a thing, right? A phone number is a thing, a number pad is a thing, and then a pad lock is a thing, and the lock is the word you're trying to get. Do they have to be compound words like that? They have to be, I'm gonna say two words or equivalently short phrases.

Like in my first one I said cut in line, where technically that's three words, but like the words are cut and line in is just there to facilitate the language. Gotcha, okay. Yeah, I got it already, I was already with you. Yeah, and I call it word game. Ooh, cooperative word game. No, no, no. Just word game. Just

word game. Let's just ease into it. I once again, I tried to calibrate these in how hard I think they'll be. So this is probably the hardest one of the entire day. We must spend the rest of the entire episode on it. But the first one I want to start at star and I want to go to bottle star and bottle and we'll flip a coin to see who goes first Up Wade goes first. Okay Star light. Okay, good one. Good one. My turn. Yeah, go ahead light saber. Oh That's a tough one It's got a clear path Oh does it?

Saber me timbers. What? What'd you say? Saber me timbers. What? I'm so horrible. I got it. Hold on. Don't I got this we can get here. We can see what Mark's laying down I'm pretty sure. Starlight, light saber. I have one that I feel like it goes after saber But I don't see how mark thinks that's the obvious path So I feel like I'm wrong. Sabre-y flavor Saber. Oh wait, I might be getting it backwards. Wait. No, I might have gotten something wrong in the chain. Ah Hold on now, I'm gonna start a word with saber. Uh-huh saber in sheath

Uh huh. Saber... ...in sheath. Pfft. What? What the fuck starts with saber, man? Oh, man. Can I give it- Can I say what I was going to or even though it's not quite right? Oh, okay. Okay, this is where I was gonna go. It's not getting there because I realized now-

Oh, I thought about it backwards. I was gonna go- It was light saber, saber tooth, tooth pick, and then I forgot- I was gonna go water pick or- and then I'moth, Tooth Pick, and then I forgot I was gonna go Water Pick, and then I'm like, wait no, because I needed to get to water and I was gonna go Water Bottle, but that, it's Tooth Pick to Water Pick and that doesn't work. I forgot about Saber Tooth. Saber Tooth is the one I thought of.

That's the only one I could think of. But that was the one I thought of. That's why I thought it would be easy! I was like, it's the only one I could think of. Alright, wait, do you want to use saber tooth? Oh man, you know, it's such a good one. I mean, you can think of your own if you want. Honestly, if you want to, I will accept saber in sheath.

Because it's really fucking funny. So does the word gotta be sheath to start with, or is it? Yeah, so the next word is sheath. Oh man. Yeah, you know what? Just to help my buddy Mark along, I'll give him in sheath. Oh man. Yeah, you know what just to help my buddy mark along I'll give him a sheath the word it the word is just sheath in in gets dropped in gets dropped. Oh man Okay, I've got a clear line here, man. I don't know. Oh, yeah me too I got it. Here we go. We've got sheath of the east Sheath of the East

Sheath of the East Let me ask the judges judges are saying yes Sheath of the East can I rewind to what I thought this was gonna go? No, you got it man East It's easy from here. I when I gave you starlight. I was like starlight light beer beer bottle That would have really got us there right on time now that I'm in the east All right Chief of the East Your word is east can they be names of locations? Uh, sure.

Clearly, the rules are more of a suggestion. So like here in Cincinnati, there's a lake called East Fort. Fort? East Fork. Fork, like fork and spoon. Well, fork bottle doesn't make any sense at all, man. How do you expect to get there? Ah, I forgot.

Sheath into East. I should have got something better. Sheath up of the east east bottle. What are we doing? Mark and I both had our own paths. We did not cooperate. I went toward light beer. He went to saber tooth Mark your word is fork. Let's go. We got this. Oh Yeah, we do Let's go. We got this. Oh Yeah, we do Fucking no can't use fork of the east. I'm just gonna count that out right now. Oh, don't worry I was gonna say forks in the road

Judges are saying yes that All right, your word is road road Road is fine. Road is totally normal. Road bottle. You know what I have I have a one word solution that gets us to the end and it's it's not it's something we've already talked about. Road beer. That's a thing. Road beer. I don't think that's a thing we should encourage here. That's that's that's really, you know It's not road beer doesn't count because it's bad. Don't do road beer. That's our official opinion That's a fair. That's fair mark. Very fair. You get a fair point Road kill kill kill obviously. Yeah I'll save it. I'll save it. I've got another one word solution.

Is it kill beer? It better not be kill beer. It's not kill beer. It's totally new. It's totally new. Kill saber. Kill saber tooth. Saber into east. East bottle. No, I was gonna clear that. I was gonna say kill in da bill, you know? Bill bottle. Da bill bottle. No, I was gonna clear that, I was gonna say killin' da Bill, you know? Bill Bottle!

Da Bill Bottle. Bill Bo is in Bilbo Baggins, Bo-tool Bottle. Kill time. Oh, can I save mine? I'll save mine. But, you know what? I'm just gonna say you can't use it because it's not right. What I thought of was kill me and then me bottle

You know the exclamation me bottle, but you gotta say it's Scottish me bottle me bottle what's my word time I'm here. What is time? Yeah, obviously time to drink and then drink bottle drink bottle is that it? that's how you're going with it no we can get there if you give me that! We can get there!

No, that's too easy. I gotta go a different route. The goal is to actually get to the end, but I'm not gonna rush you. I'm not gonna rush you. You can get there in your own way. I believe in you guys. We're a team here. Mark, you can get there with this. I know, yep. Time share.

What the fuck? Share bottle! You could probably put a couple other words in there. Hey share that bottle. No, that's stupid share bottle What were you going for? What were you going for? I can't tell you this is rude the game Lot of things you can share man, What do you want me to share? Share where? Oh, yeah. All right. All right. I got it. Dude, we're there. Thank you. Okay. You're welcome.

Ready? Go for it. Share that bottle! No, that shouldn't count. It's not share. Your word is where. Where's that bottle? I don't know! That's also not the kind of wear that it is, but okay. Wear that bottle!

Oh, you're right. I gave him a really troublesome wear. It's not that kind of... Share wear is spelled S-H-A-R-E-W-A-R-E. Wear. Like software. Yeah, I didn't help you. May I present the new software wolf? I don't think that's how that's spelled. Oh, wait, there is one.

There's a word that does make sense there. Oh yeah, wait, there's an easy one. I feel so stupid. Where E is W-E-A-R-Y, where? Warehouse, warehouse. Yes! Aha! And now we've really got it. Yes, there's no way we fuck this up. Where is W E A R Y? Where? Warehouse! Warehouse! Yes! Aha!

And now we've really got it. Yes, there's no way we fuck this up. I sure will get there this time. This is simple. The very responsible house beer. You don't want a road beer. We have to endorse house beer. If road beer is off limits, then yeah, what we are saying is it

better be a house beer. Yeah. Or it's like you're at a bar and it's the house, you know, beer, you know, they have. So I got to get from beer to bottle. I don't know if I'm going to count that. I don't think he's done beer tab beer. Well beer bottle. God, how long did that take? I wasn't looking at it time. It's 30 minutes into the episode! AHH, FUCK! That took about a little over 10 minutes of action. Oh no, that's not true. More like 15 minutes.

You and I both had like five words, we were like, That'll get there, that'll get there! We didn't go anywhere close. Would you like to hear how the journey that we went on to get from star to bottle? No. Yeah, sure. Star light, lightsaber, saber in sheath, sheath of the east, east fork, fork into road, road kill, kill time, time share, share where, warehouse, house beer, beer bottle.

Other than the east and with sheath other than those two we were pretty good. If you don't look at all the of does and in does, it's fantastic. Saber and sheath. Ah, I knew this would be a good idea. Beware the sheath of the East. I knew you guys would be good at this. Thanks. It would be a challenge for people to even come up with that many connections without stumbling there. I feel like we've really... Without purposefully going away from your goal, yes, it's almost impressive that you were both actually trying to succeed and that's still where we went. All right, well, I'm excited for this one then because I thought this one might be harder. I have no idea why

I thought that. I couldn't tell you. Anyway Your first word is chair, and I want you to get to elephant am I going first mark starts Yes, okay Hmm, maybe chair lift. I can't lift an elephant Chair lift lift elephant got it. You guys are so good at this what compound word leads to elephant? yeah that's what I was thinking, man that's tough I can think of one oh I can think of one as well I like how Mark and I both scramble to the one answer at almost the exact same moment every time we wait

it's like, saber in sheath? maybe this is like a superpower you have Bob, wherever you discover it I instantly am like, oh yeah and I bet it's the same. I bet we're thinking of the same thing here I'm gonna type I'm gonna type it to you. Are we thinking of the same thing everyone so I can also know no No, don't help him. Don't help him. I thought this was cooperative. Oh, no, that's a different one. All right. Okay. All right Okay. Oh, I guess I shouldn't tell you since you're playing the game I have a different one, but that is a good one. Well he told you, you tell me and I'll tell Mark mine. All right that sounds fair.

Great. All right uh chair lift and I gotta get to, we have to get to elephant. Your word is lift and we're trying to get to elephant Wade. I believe in you. Lift up. That's, that's how you go with? You know lift lift up, that's what we're working with? All right I'll allow it. It couldn't be lift off or any actual thing Maybe office where I was trying to I was like there's something just starts with lift. What is it lift up lift up? That's it. It's like that song All right, wait listen that was a bullshit I'm gonna give you this up up lift

Lifted to West All right, you can have lift off lift off good one all right lift off. Okay, all right off off Beat don't say beat off I see you activated by trap card of the north just see how many times we could go around this loop isn't that a is it it's like that who's on first Joe lift up uplift lift off off beat beat up uplift no no up dog ah shit wait what is Wade actually going with beat up is that what we're doing yeah I thought so he played I was joking but he played off it yeah we're going now we're going with it beat up up dog Wade your word is dog that's where we're going I'm not doing this but if I say dog buck we have

my elephant if we get desperate, we have my elephant. If we get desperate, maybe we should circle back around to that one. Yeah, Mark, keep that one in mind. OK, I did. Dog fight. OK, not the direction I was hoping. I feel that way every time you give me a word. Granted, I don't know how I'm landing this, so I hope it doesn't come down to me. Why Mark is sitting here like, uh-huh, then that, and Wade is just like, any word. My elephant!

Fight! Fight goes with that! I don't know how to land elephants, so I'm fucking lost. Fight night. Ooh. N-I-G-H-T, so not like a night with armor. Yeah, it's fight at night, and fight night. Fight in the evening.

There's a clear line There's a very direct line keep saying that it'll definitely figure it out Having not seen the final destination of where we're trying to land. I know which path is correct We know we know what the landing is wait. It's elephant elephant is the destination because the answer you're looking for is nightfall Because the answer you're looking for is nightfall! Fuck. Hahahaha! Hey, can I just say, silver lining, I'm pretty sure this one's turning out to be harder than the first one. I'm still circling in my helicopter looking for how to land Elephant.

Aw man, but it was right there, man, it was right there. It sure probably was. Okay, alright, um... No, I can't... I can't do this. What are you gonna say? Right there, man. It was right there. It sure probably was okay. All right No What are you gonna say fall off? Where did this great plan of yours bring you mark back to me offload I'm heading right toward elephant Fine glad you said the right word load up don't say upload up and okay good you progressive mark what is living in the past we know we got there we got there end of the show

End of the show final word or Show elephant yeah, that's a thing right Joe elephant. Yeah I got it right away when you said show, but I wanted to make you squirm Okay, that's fine. I was doing was like, uh, fight night, and then it was gonna be like, uh, um, night circus, uh, and then circus elephant. Yeah, I feel- that circus was the one that I thought of Mark. Mark's original one was pink elephant, but I was also thinking you could try and arrive at circus elephant. The only one I had was blue elephant, which is like the dude from Star Wars.

Blue elephant? What? Yeah, the blue elephant guy who plays like the keyboard. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Cause robot chicken had a whole thing like they did a song where like fucking one of the NSYNC guys came on not actually but was like singing about being a blue elephant like his whole shtick was he was a blue elephant. I was like dude they must both be thinking blue elephant that's the one. That's the one. There's a little pettiness in this journey but I do like it. To get from chair to elephant, we got chair lift, lift up, uplift, lift off, off beat, beat up, up dog, dog fight,

fight night, nightfall, fall off, off load, load up, up end, end of the show, show elephant. LMAO We had a lot of offs and ups. We're really good at screwing each other over. Oh man. You're like, that's not the ending I wanna do. Go again! You had four ups. You had three lifts.

Anyway, that was a good one guys. Beautiful. Let's try one more. It's all we'll have time for. Oh, we got time for at least three. I can't imagine how this one will be too difficult. We're gonna do River and Piano. And Wade goes first. Alright, River Walk.

Walk. Okay, Walk Way. Way to go. I like it. So Mark's word is go. Oh no, that's backwards. Oh no, I went down the wrong path. I keep making it backwards in my head.

I keep making it backwards. Are you thinking like from the end back to where we are? Are you just like flipping things around in your head? No, I think of like a word that goes with piano, but this time I went, ah, piano bar. It's perfect. I'll go backwards from there. And then I started connecting to that and I'm like, that's not how the game works! Anyway, what was your word again, Wade? I've completely forgotten at this point. Go.

Okay. All right. Got it. Go low. Low key? Ah, shit. God damn it. Fuck. Every time it comes back to me, it's not my plan. I gotta rethink it all over again I was like, oh geez. He's trying to get the keys Keep you know, it's just because it's associated with me. It doesn't mean it helps Bar and then it's right there. No, no, no, you're gonna bar piano. It's stupid. Okay No, no, no low key're gonna go Barbie. I know it's stupid. Okay

Okay, right key, uh, oh I'm laughing because I believe in you and this is very good positive stuff that we I mean key hole. Oh Oh, no Oh Is that your answer are we go with holy moly yes to go it's like chess you said it out loud Molly might be an end of the line. Oh Huh? Oh Oh, okay, is that- well, I don't know, molly might be an end of the line. Hole. Hole. Uh-huh. Hole. Hole. Hole-hole is not one. Hole in the wall. Hole in the wall.

Okay. Hole in the wall. Fuck. Why did I think that was a term? Because that's what I was hoping you were going for! Hey, I gave it to you! Why did I think wall piano was a thing? I thought wall piano was a thing? I thought wall piano was a thing Wait, if you could define it, what is a wall piano, Mark? I thought it was like piano in the wall

I don't know why I thought that I was like, yeah, that's a thing that exists I've got a word I want to get to, but I don't know how we're going to get there from here Oh no, okay, All right. Uh. Oh, Mark. Did we just have the same thought? I can't wait to fuck this up for you guys. I was gonna say,

wall bar is a thing, right? Whether it's a bar on the wall or it's an actual bar embedded into the wall, I think wall bar could be many things, but it's real, right? Wall bar? If you Google wall bar, there is things, but it's real. Right? Wall bar? If you Google wall bar, there is a consistent thing that comes up.

Right? That's a thing. Yeah. It's a thing. Okay, okay. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. Wall bar.

Bring it home, Wade. Bar piano. That's a thing, right? You have to say it like you want to say it. That's the rule. Bar piano. Oh shit. Is that a thing every time I look up bar piano it just comes up

piano bar. Oh no! I think that that's correct. That's not the way I was trying to get us. I think our definition of what is and is not a thing has been pretty loose. I was willing to give you bar piano purely in the context of like, oh it's a piano in a bar. It's a bar piano. Okay good. Okay cool. Because like it does have a meaning, I feel like that's distinct right? It's not a concert piano, it's a bar piano, so it's like, it's a little sticky. I want a grand piano so bad.

Grand was one I thought you guys could get to but. That's what I was trying to get, I was like all right something grand, but how do you end in grand is the hard thing. Yeah that was a tough thing, I couldn't think of it. Stand grand? All right give us another, we're the hard thing. Yeah, that was a tough thing. I couldn't think of it. Stand grand. No. All right, give us another. We're getting better at this.

That one was much shorter. We had Riverwalk, Walkway, way to go. Go low, low key, keyhole, hole into wall, wall bar, bar P. No, OK. When you read it all together there, it sounds a little bit more unhinged. We'll do speed round this time. This is where.

I'll give you one I feel like could be done super efficient. We're starting at train and we're ending at... Station. Clock. Oh. Train whistle. Whistle blower. Blower and mower. Mower, I hardly know her. All right, mower, I hardly know her Mark's word is her I guess Her what was the last word we're going for walk her clock He's not wrong that is hers that's all her name was on it I mean if it does in fact belong to her I guess it is her clock Oh, did we were reading each other's minds on that when we go fast? We don't even need to think

about how wrong we are. Come on, give us another one, we're getting into it now. All right, all right. I want to do cloud to shoe. Wade goes first. Great, cloud has so many things that follow. Cloud in the sky. You gotta say in the sky, you can't say the.

Cloud in the sky. Sky fall. Fall down. Down down under under foot. Oh All right there Shoes for the ball. I love it. Oh Mark's word is duh. Duh shoes! Next one man.

Clouded the sky, skyfall, fall down, down under, underfoot, football, ball, d-d-shoe! It's so obvious now when you say it like that. I don't know why my brain doesn't go for the words that you can connect. It's like, I need to get the foot, because foots are connected to shoes. Foots are very close to shoes. Are we doing another one? One more speed one? Oh yeah, one more. Oh yeah, last one, best one.

We're gonna do bicycle to candle. Bicycle lock. Locksmith. Smith and Wesson. Oh no. Wesson Isle Virus! I just want to throw out there you could have also gone with Wesson Wound, but no Wesson Isle virus Mark George virus virus medicine medicine man

What word were we going for again? man candle no Man with a plan man with the plan with the plan all right plan land oh land you got Wesson but not plan I sure did planter plan. Wade, your word is key. Yankee! No! Nevermind! Key yang! Key west.

Oh no. We're gonna keep the speed up here, gentlemen. Don't give me west Nile. West Nile. Nile river? Is river the starting word? No, bicycle. River was a previous starting word though. Okay, Nile River. River water. Water flow. Water flow. Flow like wax. Is that a term right?

Yeah, let me chuck that in Google and see if flow like wax comes up In the dance floor in a flow like wax That's a thing isn't it? Isn't that a term? Uhhh No it's not nevermind fuck off No fuck you no fuck you sorry Judge sir Fuck you sorry

Flow free free bird Bird got it okay I see where we're going Fuck you, sorry. Flow free. Free bird. Bird? Got it. Okay. I see where we're going. Mark! It's there! It's there! What is there? It's there! What is there? I see it! It's like check! Bird candle?

What are you looking for? Bird scented? What are you looking for? What are you looking for? No,ented? What are you looking for? I was trying to get to a different word. Bird wax? Is that it? Something in between? What do you mean? Bird flu! Ah yes, bird flu, good one. Wade I'm sure that's the word you were hoping for.

No! Yes, bird flu, good one. Wade, I'm sure that's the word you were hoping for. NOOOOO! I don't know, bird-scented really is the real thing. Flu... Flu-like. Flu? As in flu-like symptoms? Yeah. Got it. Oh, oh.

Like a bird? Yeah, you'd do it Smarty, like a bird! What do you have? Like a butterfly's thing like a bee. Come on. No like a bird! Look at- let's see what you got! Birds and the bees! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh man we did our best! Oh man, that was why is it the worst one yet? Jesus Christ We we've finally arrived our destination But we traveled through bicycle lock locksmith Smith and Wesson West and aisle virus virus medicine Medicine man man with the plan plan tur tur key key West West Nile Nile river, river water, water flow flow free free bird

bird flu flu. Like like a bird bird and the bees bees wax wax candle. See if you can get there any faster viewing and listening audience. I'm sure there's plenty of people laughing their heads off out there. Chuckling it up and see if you can do better. You can't you won't. I feel great. I had a great time. That was very fun. I say you guys were better at that than I thought you might be. How bad did you think we would be? God, I was afraid we wouldn't be able to finish one and we'd just have to give up and move on. But you guys got there. What'd you forget? Sheath into East was a thing? She- See?

Ingenuity, that's what we do here Brain smarts and other good things That's what I knew We were on the right path Wesson Nile Virus That really- I still fucking- in no time Literally, Mark was like Smith and Wesson

And you were like, Wesson Nile Virus And then the next one It was like Smith and Wesson and you were like Wessonile Virus and then the next one he was like Virus Medicine and you were like oh medicine what comes after medicine nooooo listen sometimes this thing fires in all cylinders and sometimes we outta gas gentlemen thank you for playing along as always I appreciate you doing whatever I tell you to technically you don't have to but you do anyway I'm gonna recount the scores and the name that I say first has nothing to do with anything. Don't even think twice about it. Mark. Yes. You got a point for bonkers conkers. Harassment. Nice tight elbow. He's a cock man. Lightsaber. Bear point. Uplift. Fuck you. Load up. Her clock. Dachoo

and turkey Wade an order means nothing the winner is whoever has the most points and I said it in no particular order wait You got points for chestnutty apricorns to bald Johnny. There's jugs there There's juice there My funeral if you're fancy saber and sheath beer bottle up and show elephant way to go West Nile virus planter and it's there I see it I forgot about my butyl butyl mark you are the total of 11 points and like I said good the order means nothing I didn't say the loser

first or any particular reason I picked it random. Wade, you earned 12 points. Yes. Turns out the random order is the same as if I had read the loser for, I wrote you guys down in a different order than usual. So I tried to mix it up. Honestly, you guys in the lightning rounds, I feel like I missed some points and I feel like Mark I might have missed one or two, but I think I missed one for Wade. No, it's okay. It was close. It was quite the competition. You know what people will always remember this for other than maybe Mabuno, which I hope they do is sheath and de-eath. Really started off strong with saber in sheath and

sheath of de-east. Yeah, wait, wait, Sheath of Da East was mine, excuse me. Oh, believe me, I would have never thought of Sheath and Da East. I still don't know what the fuck it means, but I'm glad it worked. I know exactly what it means, Mark. Don't let him tear you down. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This might tear you down, though. Mark, loser speech. Uh, well, you know, I think we got to showcase just how much our skills complement each other when we're all working together, which in this episode we were not, and therefore missing

our crucial third piece, we fell apart. So Bob, you're the glue that holds our brains together. You're like our cerebrospinal fluid. You're the the medial gap between our hemispheres. You are the cerebellum that anchors our two frontal lobes. Without your brain stem we would just be nothingness. I like to think I'm the space through which you are flung when you get your concussions. Oh yeah I hope so. I'm your intercranial space. Good

speech Mark. Yeah that had the vibes of a winner's speech. That's just my attitude every day. You got to dress for the job. Wade, give the actual winner speech. All right, I won. I feel like crap, but you know, I had some good laughs and good moments and I'm gonna probably pass out for a little while after this, but it was a good time, good game. I want to play this again. I want all three of us to somehow play it together. I don't know, but great episode, Bob, Mark, you and I, like we were reading each other's sentences. Okay, thank you everybody for listening.

Thank you even more for watching because everybody knows we favor the watchers over the listeners. It's not even close. If you want to be in our inner circle, you need to watch, you need to be a watcher. Everybody knows that. And you can only watch it on Spotify,

so make sure you go and check that out. Mark is Markiplier on the internet. Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777 on the internet. I have my skirm on there. We have merch! DistractableStore.com. Make sure you check it out. Make sure you follow the podcast on whatever platform you listen on, so then it'll pop up when there's a new one, because you don't want to miss it. Imagine if you hadn't watched this today. Your life would be terrible and sad, probably. Anyway, thank you so much for being here. That's the end. Stay tuned next time when Wade hosts,

because he is just so much better than both of us. Until then, podcast out.