Distractible - Devil's Advocate

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

Mark invites Bob and Wade to alternate playing the devil's advocate for a variety of agreed upon, and not so agreed upon social norms and behaviors. - Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/distractible to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 4 months for free! It’s completely risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH- ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today good evening gentle listener and welcome to Distractable, a Wood Elf production. This week, Emmy Award-nominated Mark leads the proceedings,

while Wade self-scuppers and Bob talks feel-good flatulence TikToks, from screaming infants on planes to errant shopping carts, from personal nukes to world hunger. It's a game of oratory excellence that pulls no punches. Yes, it's time for Devil's Advocate. hunger. It's a game of oratory excellence that pulls no punches. Yes. It's time for Devil's Advocate. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

So welcome to Distractable. If it's your first time here, why? Why haven't you shown up sooner? You really should have been here earlier. You're late. Why are you here? I thought that was going to go the other way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad they're here. What are you doing with your life? No, no, no.

I'm just turning very around from what I was intending. I'm glad you're here and you should be here and I'm so happy to see you. You should have been here sooner. No, no. Well, that is a kind of, but also no. Yes, but no, but no. Yes, but no. Alright, so in this episode, we're going to be doing something that we

usually do which is talking to each other i know it's a novel concept three dudes on a podcast talking to each other is that the topic today we're talking about something we've not talked about before talking to each other yeah i was sitting there for a little while like wait one more wait research yeah all right talk to each Mark, what's it like talking to Bob? I don't know, sometimes it's really insightful and nice and it makes me feel heartfelt. Sometimes I feel crushed, my spirit just ground into dust.

My entire ego... I'm the judge, you can't treat me like this! Sorry, sorry, I love you. Thank you. Alright, Wade, how are you doing? Two points to Bob. No. I'm good.

Healing up. Whatever. Life's fine. Staying cool as the fall and the beautiful leaves come down in my perfect Cincinnati residence. That's definitely not dripping water. That started very depressing and got really poetic. I mean, I do miss the falling leaves.

I just saw them like a few weeks ago. It's very pretty and I do miss it. So we have leaves up here. You have leaves up there? We got leaves. I mean, I do miss the falling leaves. I just saw them like a few weeks ago. It's very pretty and I do miss it. So we have leaves up here. You have leaves up there? We got leaves. Do they change? Do they burn down? They're changing.

They're filling my yard as we speak. Wow. We don't get those down here. Yeah. Sadly. We get them better. So you're telling me, you're telling me I could move to where you are.

You should move to the bay, man. The bay is great. I can move to the bay. We can all move to the bay. What if we all move to the burg, man. The bay is great. I can move to the bay. We can all move to the bay. What if we all move to the burg instead? Remember the burg? Oh, yeah. You want to live in Pittsburgh?

Oh, not that. Yeah, Pittsburgh. You love Pittsburgh. We can all root for the Steelers, your favorite football team. Go burg. Go burg. I'm just going to go ahead and subtract two points from myself and not say anything at all. That will apply.

It does, in fact, apply. Wait, minus two points. Then I'm going to take two points from Bob and not say anything at all that that will apply it doesn't it does in fact apply wait minus two point well then i'm gonna take two points from bob too no no you can only self-report there's no other can i get more points to me four points for my poetic okay negative four points understood too much poetry negative four all right all right plus four points which brings you back down to negative two. All right. So is that all you guys have to say for your lives? I have an exciting update. I didn't even get to go.

Oh, right, Bob. That sounds like everything, Mark. I think we're ready to move on. I know everyone waits. Yeah. Waits on the edge of their seat and then can't get enough of my semi-regular tiktok updates whoa it's been a while i've got a new favorite genre okay i'm excited getting older every minute it's uh tiktok has learned that i like a new thing and it turns out there's a lot

of creators who do this bit have you guys seen the tiktoks and or videos on youtube probably of people men and women walking around in a public place like a mall or a park or somewhere near another group of people where they're fake the farts are fake i'm guessing there's farts they have like a fart machine on them that just does like the wettest farts that you could imagine like an example would be a guy's in a park there's a group of people next to him and he just is like oh oh no oh god like the most awful fart and then he like you know how you kind of squat if you have like an issue or whatever and he's all oh god i gotta go home and he like runs away and everyone in the area around him is just like oh oh it's my new favorite kind of comedy because it's harmless but it's always funny there's never been i've watched dozens if not hundreds of these

at this point every time the reaction is some people are like the rest of everyone around that person laugh hysterically and the guy doesn't even shit his pants and there's one i found of a girl who does this and people don't know how to react to a girl pretending to have shit her pants with a violent fart because apparently people think women don't fart i don't know it's perfect comedy it's always funny i imagine that one guy that walks up and it's like my lady i came here to help you and like presents her with a new gown he has been keeping in his backpack for years. Waiting for that moment. Can I help you with your pants problem?

They keep it under their fedora. I was waiting for this. They take their multi-wrapped leather wristband off and put it on as a belt. Allow me to cover this puddle that you've made with my coat. Walk over it. I shall soak it made with my coat. Walk over it. I shall soak it up with my pants. Sit down right in it.

It was me that shat. I did it. I shat her pants. But anyway, it's perfect comedy. Nobody gets hurt. Nobody gets embarrassed

because the person who would be embarrassed knows what's happening. It's just, oh God, it's so good. It's a heartfelt feel good story. just bringing joy everywhere

it's a real family adventure not a love story necessarily but look for the fart prank stuff how would i even search for that what key what hashtag what anything i don't i found one once and liked it that's what happened i don't know If you're lost on the internet, there's a way to find yourself back. Look for the fart talks and it will guide you. That's the thing about TikTok. I've never been able to successfully search for something I've looked for. I have. You can search.

It's possible. They have a search function, but it's just like, I don't know. Because they're always captioned something that's absolutely nothing related to the topic. Like you can't search for that one fart prank video it's because it's never called that one fart prank video it's called haha got him or something like that and it's like the same title for everything it's gonna be a search term guru one time i saw a cockatiel who sings and i searched for like cockatiel sings happy birthday white bird i found him his name's cumulus he's hilarious wait can guru harold help us find tiktok what i'm so what do you need help with searching tiktok i just got

to say like tiktok search for me i've never used it just because i only use the for you page i don't even follow anybody it's just like that's all i need but youtube and google like they got searched down like you you trying to find a video you search for even something remotely close to it on YouTube. You find it like immediately. So they're like, it could be better. But then again, I'm not going out of my way to find things like searching. Cause usually people just send me the Tik TOK if they're wanting to share. That's the only Tik TOKs I watch are the ones that people send me. And really it's only been Bob lately. And Bob's not sent me one in like a month. It's all fart content all the time. Dude, no, it goes through cycles, but I'm in a real fart place right now.

I got football from him, but not farts. No, it was Bowie Juro. The Cincinnati sports fans. Bowie Juro. Bowie Juro. Bow Juro. Bow Juro. Bow Juro.

All right, well, is that all the life updates? Because that was a very satisfying TikTok update. Yeah. I will not award points for this because I wasn't going to award points for the small talk round, but somehow Wade still has negative two points. I don't know how that happened. I can't remember. You should award points for this round then.

I subtract two points for myself for upstaging Wade so dramatically. It's unfair. That's fair. Ha! Negative two for Bob. You're both at... Yes, actually, you are. Yeah, we're tied.

I want to break the tie. I give myself one point. You can't do that. We definitely established that already. You could take another one away, I guess. Yeah, we're tied. I want to break the tie. I give myself one point. You can't do that. We definitely established that already. You could take another one away, I guess. Yeah, you want to take one away? I don't know. I don't want to break it that way.

I've learned from my mistakes. You only said you wanted to break the tie. You must make your wishes more specific. I'm no longer a points masochist like I was the original Distractable Wade. Yeah, Season 1 Wade. You just like to see how much your points can take. Hit me. oh it feels good you're not a points masochist you just want to reach the limit of your points oh beat me with more negative points you want me to i'll do that no no i was channeling old wade was that yes authentic request i'll go i've turned a new leaf

oh okay all right fair enough i like points now. Will, hit the music. How long is this music? I have no idea. It's really dramatic, really intense, really dark themes. Oh god, it's spooky. Bob and I are just like, woo! If you could see the video of us right now, which you can't.

Which you can't, but maybe in the future you can. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe soon. Maybe sooner than you think. Maybe now. I don't even yes you can't but maybe in the future you can maybe maybe soon maybe sooner than you think maybe now i don't even know maybe yesterday maybe maybe but welcome to devil's advocate the debate show that it's fine what what what i'm excited yes what we're happy what are we not about to be happy wait you love debating you love philosophical discussions we're happy you don't seem happy you didn't seem happy i reacted happy you reacted mixed my devil's advocate happy rather than normal happy i'm being devil's advocate i was happy all right you don't sound happy happy bonus points for being happy no you don't devil's

advocate is a game show where we have friendly debates however these debate topics are of things that are generally agreed to be not necessarily the best things however it is up for discussion one of you will take the role of the pro of a certain thing or i guess against a certain thing oh no and the other will play the devil's ad it's fine why are you so worried I'm reminded of a time in high school where we had a history class thing and I was assigned the role

of like defending giving the death penalty to minors and I had to like argue for it in class easy have you met them and I'm just having flashbacks I'm writing that down that'll come up later. That's a secret tool we're going to use later. Oh, great.

Whoa. All right. Excellent. Excellent. All right. Excellent. Excellent. But we're going to start off with topics that are not so intense.

We're going to start off with some things, and I want to figure out a way to decide who goes first. Is there any volunteers for who wants to play the first devil's advocate or should i pick randomly me baby oh bob wants to be the devil's advocate he wants to pick give it to me which one of us do you pick bob no he i want to be the i was volunteering to be the devil's advocate i thought you were volunteering to pick which one of us was the devil's advocate i thought there was another step in between no i just am it i guess he technically did. Yeah, and he's picked himself.

Aha! So, in this first debate, you're debating each other, right? And you only get a point if the devil's advocate successfully convinces me, as you debate, that their opinion is superior. And the thing that is generally agreed to be bad is somehow good right so wade you believe that there shouldn't be crying babies on planes right you'd think that they're a menace you think they're a nuisance bob you're playing devil's advocate of how people should tolerate that or endure it for the betterment of society does the devil's advocate

get to go second so that they can work on whatever arguments are posed? Yeah, the person who... Which one's the more common opinion? I feel like I'm the devil's advocate here. That's real... I'm starting real slow ball. I wanted to get ones that could go either way in the beginning,

just to let it actually be a debate. And then we're going to warm up into more... Let it be known, I'm also devil's advocating myself for this because I don't care about babies. That's the whole point of the exercise. Were you ever in debate club? Yeah, wait, no, you don't like crying babies on planes, Wade.

Done. Easy. That's your opinion. Bob, you. That's such a strong opinion. You are advocating for the crying babies. Oh, I know what I believe. Okay, cool.

All right, Wade, take it away. All right, look, when you are on a plane, there is limited space. There are limited places to go. And you are surrounded at all sides by ceiling, floor it away. All right, look. When you are on a plane, there is limited space. There are limited places to go. And you are surrounded at all sides by ceiling, floor, walls. There's no open space for sound to get away. You are trapped in an echo chamber of pain and suffering where your diseases are already spreading as it is. And now you're adding the never-ending noise of a child

who, not on top of the noise, is also just spewing venom and disease out into the air that you're all breathing we all know babies are disgusting little monsters that eat whatever they find on the floor and then whatever they're getting they're spitting out into the air for us to breathe in they are a menace not only should they not be allowed in planes they shouldn't be allowed outside in general they should be in their crib until they are at least four years old leave them there god damn wait you just you didn't have to go that hard you know i'm going for it we should ban babies from the planet earth well

interesting this is you want to build a space station fine fill it with the babies so they're not spewing their venom here i don't want to breathe in their baby air all right not even human they're monsters until they reach a certain age, then they're fine. I don't know who's the devil's advocate in this one. I'm the good guy. You can tell by my tone. All right, Bob, take it away. That was a very compelling argument with putting babies in space stations. I feel very motivated to believe in that.

Wouldn't you have liked space as a baby? I'm going to start by just disregarding a few arguments that my opponent has made. I feel like babies in space does not have any merit. I think we all know that the right answer to that one is babies should be allowed on Earth. I'm also going to just contend that I think people would believe babies should probably not be left in their crib until they're four years old. There's probably scientific data to back that up, but I don't think it's worth talking too much about. For the baby's sake. What I want to say.

Who cares about them? It's about us. Is that my opponent is not valuing my time as he values his own. You're right. Airplanes are metal tubes of suffering and misery on purpose. If you are in an airplane, it is because you are traveling. In the best case scenario, you're going on a vacation. You're visiting a family that lives far away. You're doing something good, doing something positive.

If the travel to your location was pleasant, you wouldn't even know the difference when you got there. If traveling was easy, it wouldn't be a journey to get to the place you want to be, to reach the people that you want to reach. If traveling was pleasant, people would just go on airplanes for vacations. I don't know why people go on cruise to reach. If traveling was pleasant, people would just go on airplanes for vacations. I don't know why people go on cruise ships, but if traveling on a cruise ship was pleasant, that would be way more popular than it is and less of a joke

because I feel like people make fun of cruise ships as cesspools of floating filth and debauchery. And we all know that there's some level of truth to that. But in the worst case scenario, if you're on an airplane for work, if you're on an airplane because something has happened, you're going to visit someone in the hospital, someone has passed away, all these bad things. Compared to the relative suffering and displeasure and discomfort of an airplane, you will feel lighter and better about whatever

is happening at your destination than you did on the plane. No matter how bad of a thing has happened, barring some very specific and tragic circumstances, the airplane was worse. The airplane is suffering because without suffering, there can be no joy. Also, my opponent contended that babies spew disease with their screaming and their juices and their coughing. While it is unpleasant to have a baby screaming near you

or coughing near you or on you or whatever, babies are not the ones who spread disease. Adults are the ones who spread disease. Babies are vulnerable. Babies haven't been alive long enough to have such a robust immune system as to survive the filth that is recirculated so aggressively on airplanes.

If anyone should be banned from airplanes for the safety of some passengers at the expense of all passengers, it's adults who are not familiar with the baby who should be banned from planes. You're on a plane with a strange baby? Marshall takes you off. You book a flight and there's two, three, four, five babies on that flight? Rebooked. The babies are going somewhere and it's important because they're young.

They need to visit grandparents. They're going for some experimental treatment at the Mayo Clinic and they have to go now because it's a limited, whatever, whatever the baby is doing, it's more important than what you're doing. And whatever you think about how gross babies may be, because they can be, you're worse. Ban adults from airplanes. Babies have a right to fly only babies and planes interesting okay all right so you every but uh i will allow you a very quick

rebuttal that way we can keep the pace moving but i like your argument of comparative suffering because i'm always a big proponent of darkest before the dawn you know how can you have uh joy without sadness the other argument about uh disease i feel like that's an attack on Wade's character. And no matter how valid that may be, I will not take personal attacks in this debate. We'll debate the topic. Wade, you have 30 seconds for a rebuttal. Go. Great. Bob tackled the fact that not all travel is good. In fact, I'd argue most of it's probably for work. Most people do travel the most frequently for work or something like that, which is not necessarily fun. People spend a lot of money even for the worst seats. You should expect some level of peace with all of the stress travel already brings on top of the

expense and getting in a bad mood to start your day will make it harder to bounce back. Suffering can happen the day before or after or whatever. But if you're already having a bad day, having the baby screaming and whatnot is not going to be good. And babies will not remember where they're going anyway, even if it's for vacation. So what's the point of them even going anywhere? That's good. That's good. I like that rebuttal. That's good. Bob, this is your last 30 seconds to make sure that you get your point across as devil's advocate, and

this will make or break you getting a point this round. Are you ready? Yes. And go. My opponent contends that suffering should only happen at certain times for certain purposes, that they must control the suffering so you can have the happiness when you want it. I posit that that is not how life is. The reality of the world is that you may suffer at any given moment.

Life may be tragic at any given moment, but life may also be joyous at any given moment. And you must savor the happy times when they come. Airplanes are not a happy place. There is no joy to be had. You must savor what comes before and after your flight. Save the babies. All right. Save those babies.

Mitigate suffering. So do it. And more arguments. That's flight. Save the babies. All right. Save those babies. Mitigate suffering. So do it. And more arguments. That's cheating. He's cheating. I think, honestly, I was mainly leaning this way already. The shooting babies into space stations

while a compelling thing is a little extreme for my taste. A little. I'm actually, I'm going to give the point to the Dells advocate because yes, usually flight,

especially nowadays, especially in ultra economy way in the back is suffering incarnate and as much as i've traveled i have not encountered too many problems with crying babies and when it has i usually have pity because you usually see the mom and it's like oh it's not good so i'll actually give the point to bob there to be real i have soundproof headphones so babies never bother me on flights either all right that's fair that's fair i thought for sure you'd bring that up, Bob. Just literally you can cancel them out.

But it's over. So you already won. You don't get my argument. No, I like to listen to it. Yeah. It reminds me where I came from. I like it. That was really good.

As I'm going to start setting like a 90 second time for the debate for each person. It's probably a good idea. What did you just do, Wade? The scream. This is why we can't have the video on. It's distracting. time for the debate for each person probably a good idea what did you just do wade the scream this is why we can't have the video on don't look at me oh man yeah no i don't know what i just saw it in the corner of my eye now we're gonna get slightly more contentious and we will get more contentious as we go on and apparently we're going to end with death penalty for minors um because that is probably

the most that is the most contentious of the things that i i have seen actually i don't even know anyway so this next one wade you are now the devil's advocate bob you are aligning with this opinion that not returning your shopping cart is a bad thing okay you are a big believer in returning your shopping cart wade you don't return your shopping cart ever and and you're gonna tell me and Bob why. Alright? Why do I keep getting the shit into every argument? Wait, we have two! I got a whole list! Oh, it's been two! Oh, calm down.

Oh my god. Okay, I hate babies and I'm a slob. Got it. But you- this is your opportunity to win the point here, right? Sure. You can only win the point as the devil's advocate. If you are on the other side and you successfully negate the devil's advocate, you don't get a point. They just don't get a point, right?

It's an attack and defense. All right. Are you ready? Bob, you are first. Let me go first? Yeah. Yes. Yep.

All right. Three, two, one. There are three main issues surrounding the return of shopping carts to either the corral or the front of the store. The three issues being safety, human consideration, and sociopathy. First of all, it's an obvious concern that having shopping carts rolling around a parking lot haphazardly taking up both parking spots and walking locations is unfair and dangerous for anyone who has to use that parking lot. How many times have you tried to pull into a spot only to have a cart occupying just enough of a space

so that your car won't fit? It's annoying. It's inconvenient. It ruins the purpose and design of the parking lot. It's a big issue. Human consideration. It's someone's job to bring those carts back in. They're polite enough to let you leave them

in the parking lot, in the corrals. But if you're going to make that poor teenager working for six bucks an hour, not getting paid enough for it to even be worth it, run around the whole parking lot and gather up your scattered shopping carts. It's both inconsiderate to them and anyone who might need a cart if they can't gather them up efficiently, if they can't keep the things stocked up at the front of the store. And finally, being such an inconsiderate, rude, and thoughtless person that you think it's okay to just leave

whatever thing you're no longer using wherever you were last using it you should probably get checked out it's a sign of a lack of humanity and empathy which are things that this world needs more of you could learn something by trying to learn empathy by returning your shopping carts to their correct locations all right that was very compelling a good reason of why i personally also believe that you should return your shopping cart. Now, I love the point about sociopathy. Like, I feel like that could have been explored further, but obviously the time limit. So, Wade, why are you a sociopath and don't return your cart?

Are you ready? Real quick, just so you know, you guys are lagging balls. When you do your countdown, it goes from nine to like you staring. So I don't not see a countdown for the stop. I pulled up a timer. Great. Okay I do not see a countdown for the stop. You'll have to guess. Great. Okay. I pulled up a timer on my own.

So when Mark said start, you just started. Yeah. Yeah. That's way more consistent. I don't have that technology. Just type timer into Google. Open your phone or something. I'm getting it.

We have 90 seconds. Is that right? Yes. Yes. One 30. All right. I'm ready. All'm ready all right three two one go all right so look safety let's talk about safety sure shopping carts getting in the way sounds like a dangerous issue but you know what's more dangerous for you as an individual is spending more time walking around

a parking lot people drive like maniacs they back out without looking they're on their phone they're texting they're doing all kinds of things. The longer you spend walking around with your shopping cart, the longer you have a chance of getting hit by a dangerous driver. Get in, get out as fast as possible. If the cart is in your way, blame the workers for their laziness of not grabbing them and putting them back where they belong. And that brings me to my next point. Consideration. You know what? Being considerate, putting your card away? No. You know what you're being more considerate? If you don't. Why? Because you're creating jobs. What are presidents judged on? Oh, I created so many jobs. Well, why can't I

be judged on that as well? If you need more people grabbing cards from the parking lot and putting them back, then you know what? I created jobs. I'm helping the economy. I'm a good person. I have done good for the world. So safety, consideration, covered. On top of that, I'm giving more space for more people to come in because I'm getting the hell out of there. And do you want to go and deal with waiting for people to grab their carts? No, the cart I need is right on the way to the store.

Easy, done. I'm helping people, not hurting. And if you look at it the other way, then you must be a glass half empty kind of guy you yield your i concede the rest of my time bob i gotta admit that was an extremely compelling argument from the side i get a rebuttal i know i know you do get a rebuttal it'll be a 30 second rebuttal i need to reset my timer but that was a very compelling argument i was clearly in your favor and now I'm leaning away. All right. Whenever you're ready. Three, two, one, go. My opponent argues that it's unsafe to spend time walking across the parking lot. Well,

I would posit that the reason it's unsafe is because a parking lot is littered with carts. You know why people drive crazily through a slow, almost motionless parking lot? It's because they're dodging obstacles that should not be there. Also, creating more work is not creating more jobs. Making a job worse than it already is in a world where no one is appreciated, no one is paid commensurately, and no one is treated fairly by their employer is only ruining the life of a person who already has a job. All right, that was very clear, very concise. It's a good point. Directly attacked your point there, clear, very concise. It's a good point. Directly attacked your point there, Wade, about, you know, making life easier.

Ancillarily the job creation point, but the president analogy still sticks with my mind. Also, my sociopathy argument was so unassailable, he didn't even mention it, so. That's true. That's true. Yes. But I will not consider it was not in the timer, so I cannot consider that information.

You can know that he didn't talk about it. I do. Yeah, that's right. It's true. Wait, are you ready? I think I am. Wait, are you ready? Yep.

Three, two, one, go. Well, first of all, sociopaths, you and I join in. Who cares if you're a sociopath or not? We're creating jobs and that matters. And let's get back to safety. You know why the parking lot's unsafe? It isn't carts. How many horrible things happen because a cart was in the way? You know why the parking lot's unsafe? It isn't carts. How many horrible things happen

because a cart was in the way? You know why horrible things happen? People aren't paying attention. They're walking all over the place where they shouldn't be, looking at their phones. People driving are on their phones. Phones are the issues.

Carts, okay, you see a cart there, you don't park. You see someone double park, taking up two spots. Those are the assholes. A cart, you can just park a little bit behind. You can get out and move it. Easy. That's the cart you take with you. Time's up. All right right that was a good point and and it does make me think of the idea that people are walking around more which does create problems every time i'm in the grocery

store trying to find a parking spot it is chaos in there and there is something to be said about people having to return their carts moving around and getting in the way does maybe slow things down a little bit and the job creation i can't i can't deny these are extremely compelling points and uh i wrote down the safety human consideration and sociopathy now sociopathy was glanced over and i'm not 100 sure on the true definition of sociopathy me either that's why i didn't mention it. No, you said come on in. You said pool's open. Come on in, sociopaths. I said sociopaths unite.

Which is a bold statement. Without knowing the exact definition, it sure is. It's little regard for another person's emotions, rights, or... That's just being human, man. Yeah, that's fine. We can unite. With the nonchalance. 2022? I really got to embrace the nonchalance i really gotta embrace the nonchalance you know wade i i hate to say it

because i am very much i've said so long in my life that if you don't return your shopping cart you don't belong in society but man sociopaths unite really gets me to my core in the job creation wait he he said he said more so i want to say a thing not returning your cart doesn't reduce the amount of walking. It displaces it to another person. So you're essentially forcing someone else to be unsafe. You're not reducing anyone. You get the cart without having to go get it.

It's in the parking lot. Unless you park right next to a cart and that's the only cart you need. Perfect spot. You're walking wherever the cart may be because they're not centralized. They're randomly scattered by sociopaths. Make a little fun game out of it. It's like, Timmy, get the best cart. If he doesn't come back, well, you're a sociopath.

I don't care. I gotta admit, Wade, you really argued the sociopath perspective very well. Thank you. I really want to give you the point. I don't think I should, but I just want to. And because I'm Judge. That's why you will. I'm going to give you a point for that. That was just such a well-argued, I didn't think you'd, but I just want to. And because I'm judge, I'm going to give you a point for that.

That was just such a well-argued, I didn't think you'd get there. 2028, vote for me. Never have to return a card again. He's just like, his approval rating's just through the roof. That's me. I don't want to vote for you, but I just approve of what you've done. I can't disagree with anything he said. How am I supposed to?

I hate everything I said, but i had to embrace my son winning is more important than my integrity damn it all right obviously yeah no we all know the truth i would make a good politician you embraced it very well okay so now thank you we're switching roles again bob you are now the devil's advocate. Wade, you believe in speed limits. You think speed limits help safety or whatever your argument is? Like generally speaking, speed limits are around there and people may break them because they don't agree with them. Bob might be one of these. Whatever his argument takes, Wade, you're a proponent of speed limits.

Bob, you are fully against. Sure. Are you ready, Wade? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine? Do you not like speed limits? No, no.

Speed limits are good. I was just going to work on my ideas, but I can work this out as I go. Let's do it. It's fine that's fine do you not like speed limits no no speed limits are good i was just gonna work on my ideas but i can i can work a shop as i go let's do it it's fine you need a minute no i'm good i can come up with enough ideas 90 seconds right we could do 60 seconds if you don't want to have to fill an idea i do have a big list i think i can talk for 90 seconds i'm good i believe in you all right if you're ready then start in three two one very obviously speed limits are a safety necessity because of many, many different facets. First of all, car designs are made in such a way

where they test cars to move within certain speed parameters. And if you were uncapped, sure, like in a city limit where you're not gonna be able to go that fast anyway because of traffic or having to turn, so on and so forth, maybe that's less of an issue. But on a highway, open road, rural area, if you're pushing 120 in a car that's designed to an issue but on a highway open road rural area if you're pushing 120 in a car that's designed to maybe go 70 on average you're probably beyond the safety specs of where

that car should be as well as the safety specs of what that car can take should something go wrong and you end up in an accident flat tire so on and so forth animals people things cross the road branches fall on the road do you have time to see them if you're going 600 miles an hour no you don't so you need to have a limit for those as well. On top of that, just for being able to process the information that you were seeing so you can make good rational thought. If you are going so fast that you can't even see what you're passing, odds are you or someone else is going to end up dead. And we here care about people. We care about ourselves. We do not want to cause that kind of harm just because we're in a hurry. That is a selfish mindset. And we need to care about ourselves we do not want to cause that kind of harm just because we're in a hurry that is a selfish mindset and we need to care about other people and about the safety

of them as well as ourselves so car design other people your own safety there's really no argument to be said for not having a speed limit because if it's completely uncapped chaos will ensue because it only takes a few people pushing things way over the limit, not having any repercussions to kill us all. Well spoken. I think that encapsulated all the arguments for speed limits at really emphasizing safety. I hear you loud and clear. Bob, are you ready for your counterpoint?

Yes. All right. Three, two, one. Speed limits are clearly designed to extract money from a population which already pays its fair share, and put that money directly in the pockets of police departments, sheriff's departments, whatever, who should already have adequate funding, and if they don't, that is an issue unrelated to driving an automobile. My opponent talked about the safety of traveling at whatever speed you may choose.

He supposed that anyone at any time would choose to travel as fast as physically possible, ignoring the fact that humans have an innate sense of self-preservation, somehow assuming that people would have no understanding that any danger they may pose because of their speed is equally posed to them at any point in time. Traffic is safer when it flows naturally. Traffic is safer when you don't have people who are obeying the speed limit, but are actually traveling 10 or 15 miles an hour slower than the normal flow of traffic is on the highway. It's not an argument that the law doesn't work so we shouldn't have it. I propose that the law exists purely as a

manipulation and a controlling of power around the roadways, allowing police to make stops for nearly arbitrary reasons, allowing entities to control what you're doing, people will not put themselves in harm's way. And if they are incompetent or stupid enough to do so, they will be the same amount of incompetent or reckless, whether or not there is a speed limit. You cannot stop the ones who will cause terrible accidents with a sign. All right. That is a good point. Speed limits. That's not what i was gonna say but that works all right that was that was that was a good point you know those

things that i didn't think about i think that that's very compelling uh wade what do you have to say in response to those arguments value so we're talking about money so saving money accidents those cost money what is the value of a human life that might be lost from all of this that costs money how much will insurance cost on un What is the value of a human life that might be lost from all of this? That costs money. How much will insurance cost on uncapped roads? That's gonna go up. So where are you really gonna end up saving or spending more money?

Safety, I did not say everyone would be speeding. I said it only takes a few in order to ruin it all. So a few people doing whatever they want. On top of that, you're trusting that they're all gonna be coherent. There's alcohol, there's drugs, there's cell phones, there's sleepiness, all kinds of other factors that can contribute.

And with safety versus freedom, there's always got to be some kind of compromise and that limit has to exist somewhere. All right. Fair points. All fair points. Uh, Bob, are you ready to rebut? Yeah. Three, two, one. The core of my opponent's rebuttal revolved around factors that all lead to people ignoring speed limits, regardless of what they are. I think that point is moot. And I think if you're going to assume that a sign with a number on it will stop a drunk driver from speeding, then you don't understand why drunk driving is dangerous. I would also posit that the amount of money that you may save on a ticket versus an accident is unconnected to whether or not you have an accident versus a ticket. People get ticketed for seven miles an hour over the speed limit all

the time. You do not get into an accident because that is so reckless a speed. That was a good point because was your point there that it's moot because people do that anyway? Yeah. If you're going to say that speed limits will protect you against drunk drivers or reckless drivers, they don't care what the speed limit is. They're drunk or reckless. Yeah. I didn't quite catch the the value proposition fully but like that is way that is a good point like drunk drivers would occur regardless of whether the speed limit in fact for wasn't for a while there montana had like no speed limit and they changed that in the night or something i don't remember yeah and there

is the autobahn which does not have a speed limit and people drive that all the time and you know accidents are i don't believe statistically more likely there than anywhere else in the world. In a weird way, because I am also like, I have certain things. But if I have to go like point for point, like debate, I'm kind of leaning Bob just a bit, just a bit, just a bit. It's very close because I don't believe that it should be all uncapped. But I do think there should be like if I'm going out to like Las Vegas on the stretches

of road there where there's not a car around, like my car can go faster. Why can't I just go? And people do the race across the country to see how fast you can get from one side to the other. We didn't argue what the caps should be. We were talking about there should be a cap period. So if Joe Schmo gets his car and straps two rockets on the side and go 500 miles an hour, that's uncapped.

I think that breaks other laws, but we'll get to those. Well, we're about to debate those laws, but I am going to give Bob a point for that. That was very, very well argued, but he was really close there. There was a lot of surprise at that. I thought you had me. Wade makes two of us, but not three. Are you conceding? No, no, absolutely not.

I'll take the point. But I just, you know, Wade made a good effort good effort you know and that's i was just complimenting him so now we're gonna leave the realms of uh logical discussions here oh good great so bob you're not the devil's advocate now you don't think people should personally own nukes like have backyard atomic weapons you don't believe in that wade it's like a home run you're the devil's advocate for owning nukes personally i love the side of these things i always get i can't wait all right it's gonna get more fun from here don't worry about it all right so you uh bob i'm gonna keep this to 60 seconds out because i have a lot to get through and we're slowing down so we're gonna do 60 second arguments all right for this from now on 60 seconds of why people should not personally own nukes are you ready yeah three two one i feel like

my main argument against individuals being able to own nuclear devices is uh ignoring how an individual might own a nuclear device there's absolutely no reason that an individual person or family or even like a large group who live together and share it in a HOA or something would need that. Nobody needs nuclear devices, but they exist in a world full of conflict. And as a matter of deterrent and in the world that we live in, they exist and they are controlled by nations. But even the world at large agrees that some nations should not be in possession of nuclear devices because to have a nuclear weapon, you need to have the security to keep it safe, to keep

it possessed, let alone using it. If a small nation does not have the means to keep a nuclear device secure from reaching the hands of someone who might do evil with it, then individuals certainly could not maintain an adequate level of security to keep them safe. All right. Fair points. All very logical. I mean, I think we're all in agreement about that, except for wait, are you ready?

God, yes. That was a horrible argument. I'm ready to destroy it. Three, two, one, go get them. We live in a world that's already in an arms race between countries. We have nukes. Russia has nukes. The North Korea wants nukes.

China might have nukes. Who knows who all has nukes? On top of that, according to even movies and TV shows shows you can get nuclear material and sell it to terrorists so on and so forth they might get nukes how do we hold all of those people accountable corporations own governments how do we hold them accountable we also have nukes that is how and nobody does need them bob's correct nobody needs nukes but the fact of the matter is they exist and that's the sad truth so being as they do exist it's only fair that we try to hold them accountable Just like they hold each other accountable

There's a lot of accountability needs to be had the tech will come for safety if we're all gonna own nukes by the time we Could get there the tech will come we'll have safety built in and my final point and probably most important one It'd be really fucking cool to have a new That is a real you yield your time i do that is a really good point uh that ever all the other points maybe not so good because it did that boil down to not so good did it boil down to need more good guys with nukes is that what it boiled down to i'm just saying saying we don't know who's gonna be running governments in a hundred years But if everyone has a nuke no one's gonna pull that trigger because they know it's the end for all

It's the ultimate arms race. I love everyone's getting a stick in there I love it, and it would be super super cool Bob you have 30 seconds To one my opponent argues that uh individuals owning nukes would uh be the ultimate form of accountability corporate government wise across the board but we have people who can't even follow a speed limit we have people who leave their shopping cart willy-nilly wherever they may desire in parking lots across the country around the world there is no way that individuals owning nukes would not lead to almost immediate and complete annihilation

of the entire earth and civilization as we know it. That is a good point. I feel also the same, but you know, I'm ready to be convinced, Wade. I'm so ready. It would be so cool. I've got my point. Three, two, one.

A lot of nukes already exist. The world is still here. More nukes, still world. And on top of that, when the aliens come, who the fuck is ready? Our planet. Time yielded. Bring it on, little green man! We're ready for you!

The best part of that by far is more nukes still world god that's a it's a really uh compelling point i gotta say i'm so wanting to be on your side about the cool factor however you are on my side i can see it in your eyes the idea of you specifically with a nuke you don't even know how to set up like the audio equipment that's sitting around your computer you know that thing will still be in the box it's fine yeah but that's kind of the problem they need maintenance a lot of it yeah they can be pretty unstable it's true regulations will come the argument of the tech will come here's a point in my favor for me personally

you know what i had to order recently was another synology because my nas died from a power surge i got one last thursday same day opened it up set it up it's working right now oh my god you plugged it in and inserted hard drives if i can change the world the world can too. Give us nukes. Oh, man. I got... Pool factor, weighed factor. Gotta weigh it. All right.

Pool bigger. I just... Sorry, Wade. I just can't... I can't abide... Nukes in space! Baba, you win. I'm a little surprised you didn't go with the cool factor argument.

I gotta be honest. It was very effective. Hey, that's a few in a row. I'm surprised I've lost, but hey hey that's a few in a row i'm surprised i've lost but hey that's the way it is being me the subreddit i look forward to uh your defense of me it was almost there that leaves us tied doesn't it uh right i don't get a point for that you just don't also get a point it's actually bob you are one up oh maybe i should switch it so that if you win the debate no matter what you get a point otherwise it's just gonna

stay here because the devil's advocate side is going to get harder. So there needs to be some opportunity for points. Oh, great, man. It's been so easy so far. No, that means, Wade, in this next... I hate babies and love nukes. In this next one, you can win a point if you get... You're not the devil's advocate here, so you can... Beat me, Wade. You can beat him

and you can get a point. Use your words. I'm growing to like devil's advocate. Can I just stay here? Oh, but that's the fun one. No, no. Yeah, it is the fun one. All right, so... Bob, you are now the Devil's Advocate. It's like the nukes would be fun.

Okay. You... Well, okay. Wade, you are not the Devil's Advocate. You don't like child labor. You don't think kids should be sent into the coal mines. You don't think kids should be working. Bob, mines. You don't think kids should be working. Bob, you're the devil's advocate for child labor.

Okay. Are you ready? Well, no, Wade. Oh, yeah, Wade's first. Wade's first. Wade, are you ready? Yeah. All right.

Three, two, one. There has been research over time that I can't even get into that exists as to why child labor is a bad thing. Look it up. Just do a quick Google search. You'll find it. Health, long-term health, the viability, dependability. How much work can a child do versus an adult? How much are we setting children back by making them work? There are so many different things that are wrong with child labor. On top of that, child labor usually comes with being underpaid for service as well, which is also a cruel thing to do. And on top of that, diluting the workforce by giving parents less money because kids are in the workforce, making pennies on the dime because the parents are depending on that income is a horrible thing from a long-term health standpoint, from a money standpoint, from a fucking moral standpoint,

everything about child labor is bad unless you're the one sitting on top, smoking your cigar, sitting on your mound of money it's a terrible thing that should not have ever happened and definitely should not happen moving forward that was a good point well made very good bob are you ready i am is it 60 seconds 60 seconds i just kind of i am ready the kids wrote your speech and you're ready to go oh yeah three two one the planet is dying and it's because we have a generate multiple generations of freeloaders converting food into carbon monoxide and waste contributing nothing to the planet now i would not advocate that any child should be set to work the moment they're born and work until the moment they die but children children are capable. Children can do many things. My opponent

attempted to describe all the ways that child labor is wrong and immoral, but succeeded only in describing all of the ways in which child labor has been misused and inappropriately applied throughout history. Should children earn the same as adults? No, they're not capable of the same work. They should earn a commensurate amount. That needs to be researched. Should children earn the same as adults? No, they're not capable of the same work. They should earn a commensurate amount. That needs to be researched. Should children do the same tasks as adults? No, they're not as strong. They're not as big. What can children do? This should also be researched. If we optimize child labor, it can be safe. It can save the planet and it can make the world a better place. That was like on the dot finished. i got a timer in front of me yeah i'm trying to like it was beautiful and you captured my attention the header of that speech the world

is like i it i was enraptured i i was focused i think we need to do some research i could sell cigarettes to an asthmatic all right okay so what never mind ignore that i should write does selling cigarettes that's me baby trust willie bob just believe everything i tell you uh all right so wade uh you heard all of those points are you ready for your rebuttal yeah all right three two one very simply from the national library of medicine child labor prevents the normal well-being including physical intellectual and emotional psychosocial development of children period and it cannot be eliminated by the enforcement of labor laws and regulations it is hurting kids period let the world die save the children children. You yield your time? When you say it like that, of course I do.

So wait, did you just argue that there's no point regulating it? No, I said that it's bad for, it's conclusively bad for children. Yeah. The point being is even if the world were dying and having child labor might help it trot along, the damage we're doing to children is like, what world are we going to be leaving them? What are they going to have anyway? They will be so devastated from having being forced into the workforce at such a young age that's fair no no matter what do not let them in the workforce i thought i heard something about

like laws can't stop it or something like that i thought i heard no no regulations can't even regulating child labor doesn't help child labor like not be bad sorry i needed some clarification you can't even just regulate you have to eliminate all right that's a fair i'm brought back i i get it oh man what was i even thinking bob what was i thinking i don't know i don't know i can't i'll tell you three two one go murder will happen even if murder is not illegal let's just let it all go that's the world my opponent envisions the idea that child labor cannot be fixed with regulations ignores completely the fact that children labor and toil in their own homes, in their own fields, on their family's farm, or wherever it may be.

And that is completely unregulated. Adults may do as they wish with their children. At least if a child works in the workforce, they may be paid and protected by regulation. That is a good good we don't want for those that are just listening i am staring incredulously at my screen just taken aback by such a strong argument i'm sure i cannot believe my ears yeah man oh i kind of want to see what these children are capable of. You know, like we need to research.

You know what? I'll let you die on that hill and you guys can go. No, no, no. I'm going to give Wade. This is what I really believe. Okay. Don't make jokes about it. Breaking news.

Markiplier enforces child labor. All right. I'm gonna give the point to Wade. Oh, damn! I can't send those kids back just yet. Enforces? I'm gonna endorse this. Once I see the research, I will allow you to do the research, Bob. I don't think that research would be legal either.

I will give you a special circumstance with which to research this, but you can't pay those kids. If you pay them, it's a job and that's child labor and that's illegal well that breaks the entire system yeah it's a workforce experiment people in the workforce get paid a little i want to see your own holes camp but no more than that you get them digging holes nothing more character building federally funded holes camp got it pay them in positive reinforcement i'm proud of you, Timmy. You did good today. Oh, thank you.

Can I have some more? Tomorrow. Get back to work. Okay. All right. So. Did it get worse for me here? I feel good about this.

I'm excited. This is fun. We don't have that much time. So I'm going to try to just like pick one. Thank God. Probably just one more. Honestly, because how much time has been taken. But this is very, very good.

Man, I want to do another one. I want to participate okay so i've got i've got some options let's see wade it's currently right now it is oh it's tied oh well wade gets to play the fun role in the final one that sucks well you want to do fine advantage me sounds good to me just because it's fun doesn't mean he's any better at it than I am. Of course it does. I got this. Man, I really don't know which one to pick from. More nuclear weapons.

More nuclear weapons. More child labor. No. Children making nuclear weapons. Abortion. Abortion. On planes. Children making.

Bob, what I'm going to do is I'm going to, since you are the normal voice, right? You're not the devil's advocate here yeah i'm the i'm the correct opinion we're gonna because wade has an uphill battle it's currently tied however we know that the devil's advocate is a little bit more difficult i have dm'd you a list of what i have what do you think you would have the best chance with i don't see this dm yeah i didn't dm it to you oh i see. Just to me, because I'm on the harder side, I think, theoretically, for some of these. Oh, boy. Well, I know which one I would want, I guess.

Oh, that's not how you highlight one word. Please don't end my career. Please don't end my career. That is a good one. No, this is fine. This is fine. This will be fine. I agree.

I concur. That's what I was leaning towards, and I think it'll be a great finisher wade you are the devil's advocate in this round i think it'll be a good fight bob you believe in stopping and ending world hunger wade i'm here for it you're the devil's advocate for a hungry world bob you have 60 seconds on the clock are you ready let's Let's do it. All right. Three, two, one. By any means necessary, there is a crisis that is ongoing and getting exponentially worse that we must deal with.

This planet has a maximum capacity. A maximum capacity for growing food and a maximum capacity of bodies and living beings that it can house. Clearly, we have not maximized the amount of food we can produce, but it's close. Given our current levels of technology, allocations of land between nations and people, it's hard to produce as much food as we need. It's not hard to eliminate the number of mouths we have to feed. There is a simple solution that governments already participate in for other reasons. Population reduction will save our world,

will save our climate, will make food more readily available, will eliminate hunger around the world where it is a plague on many people, and give everyone a little bit extra elbow room, which I'm not going to hear any complaints about. Well, that was a bold take on, that was a different perspective on world hunger

than you usually hear. World hunger is a serious issue. I put a lot of thought into this. I'm compelled in ways I didn't expect to be compelled about your argument, Bob. I don't know if that's good, but okay. I don't know if it's good either. Wade, the stage has been set. Did you give a reason, a way to do the population control?

What was your solution to population control? Oh, I kept that vague on purpose. Okay, cool. roll what was your solution to population oh i kept that vague on purpose okay cool all right wade your counterpoint in three two one overpopulation is not a problem on my planet in fact have as much sex as you want it won't matter why because a hungry world is a motivated world and those that don't eat won't last and if you want food you have to earn it on my planet and if you earn it you'll eat you'll be fine and if you don to earn it on my planet. And if you earn it, you'll eat, you'll be fine. And if you don't earn it, well, then I guess you're not a problem anymore. We live in a world already where to get on the top, you have to step on those beneath you. And

if you want to get to the top, it's even easier in a world where everyone's hungry and starving, as it is. I'm helping you get to the top easier. I'm helping the population. I'm helping everything. And you can sin and fuck all you want. It's a perfect planet. Join me in it. I yield my time. I think we're deviating from the topic of world hunger a bit. No, he countered my points pretty

effectively, but I've got a rebuttal. Okay, are you due of a rebuttal? Oh yeah, I'm'm ready i knew what i would say seem dead set on killing people which i think is a strange thing i'm just allowing world hunger we've tried every other way to go about it all right bob you're rebuttal in three two one my opponent argues that he would create this utopia where everyone would would live the life of luxury. That's a lie. What he argues for is a world of dog eat dog, literal humans eating humans because they

can't get food because they lack skills or whatever value that that society deems most important. In my world, the government will carefully, critically classify each individual and will make the choice and do the deed for you. You actually get to live in a utopia created and crafted for you, fed to your heart's desire. Plus you can have all the sex you want. Oh, all right. It sounded really bad there for a while. And then that last part, all the sex you want. Oh, yeah, no, that part. That's the real core of it. Interesting. You both are in agreement with that. That's a great thing. Yeah.

Wade, what's your rebuttal? Unless you're just going to yield it. No, I've got one. I've got a little one. All right. Okay. All right. Three, two, one. All right.

He's worried about the week being eaten. And guess what? That's not a problem while I'm sitting on my bone throne. You can eat the week. You cannot eat the week. And eventually enough people will starve a world hunger probably won't be a problem again anyway. Done.

Drop mic. Do you yield your time? Mm- your time what more is there to say i'm boning i'm a bone grown made of human bones holy shit feel good uh i'm who wins fuck if i know what the fuck just happened in that debate what the fuck was that maybe that debate. What the fuck was that? Maybe this debate was unhealthy for us and Bob and I have descended into madness the longer we had to play devil's advocate. You might be right about that. Wow. I'm going to flip a coin.

I'll be right back while you do that. My nukes just arrived. Your nukes just arrived. All right. You got to make sure you get them in the nuke cooler before they go. Just leave it in the box. That's fine. I'll open it later.

All right. Sounds good. I'm literally going to before they go. Just leave it in the box. That's fine. I'll open it later. All right. Sounds good. I'm literally going to flip a coin. Oh, come on, Mark. How the fuck am I going to pick from both of you? My sex or his sex? Which sex is better? You didn't touch better to let people kill each other out of desperation or kill people

purposefully. You glossed over the world hunger basis of everything. We were both addressing world hunger as a broader issue of the global crisis. It was you are against world hunger, he's pro, and then you both focused on sex. I was very pro world hunger. It seems like Bob you were too. I don't know. No, my way would have absolutely and definitively solved world hunger after it was fully implemented,

maybe after a generation or so, but, you know, it's hard to get rid of that many bodies at once. Yeah, mine too. We differ in the means, not the results. You didn't say you were concerned about loss of life or humanity. You said you were concerned about world hunger, which I directly addressed. Can't hear you down there, too busy living on top.

By the way, I leave my shopping cart anywhere i damn well please i'm gonna flip a coin oh the winner of this hotly contested debate comes down to a mere heads or tails can we see the coin proof that there's a heads and a tail yeah that's a blurry circle i believe you oh there you go it's a quarter okay there's a head i I believe you that was the head. Oh, okay double head Who wants heads or tails you call it wait? I want heads. All right. There's two sides that are heads Your mic it fell should I reach trust this coin very spin it or use it random use it keep it Okay, what did you say Wade heads his tails? Is's tails. There it is. There's a tree on there. It was tails.

Totally eluded. The head of broccoli is the tree part. That could also be a head. It's not a head of the tree. We haven't really caught it. Devil's Advocate, that could be a double-headed coin. It's not. From a certain perspective.

It's not Devil's Advocate. A head. And also, and tree. and a head of broccoli and a tree which is what i meant to call uh-huh anyway i did hear him under his breath say head of broccoli well it's a tree so even in that regard it would be a loss you know what i want to lose subreddit defend me i will have my back this was a new experiment and i did change the like earning point rule in the middle but that did work in your favor wade or else it would have been a washout so it was closer because of that washout yeah no so this was a little bit haphazard i just cobbled this

together before i want to do another one of these though because it was very fun i want one of you to judge no it's fun you should be you. It's fun. We got like devil's advocate too, but we'll wait a while to do it. But thank you for your lovely sides of this debate. We didn't get through nearly as many as I thought, but I guess judging by our tier lists, we usually don't. But Bob is the winner.

He devil-y advocated more. Devil-ishly. Or you just didn't agree with the devil enough. I think I agreed with your devilry both the same. No. I mean, you won the devilry on the shopping cart. I won the devil on the babies, which was more of a toss up because it was not that hot of an issue. And I won the devil on the speed limits.

Yes, I was compelled for the speed limits. But then Wade won the devil. What was after speed limits? Nukes. Wade won nukes. We each won almost all of our devil rounds, right? Buy a nuke, work the children. God.

My favorite country song. It's hard to win. I only won a pro side because I won the coin flip. That's fair. That's fair. So what we really learned is Mark is the devil's advocate. Didn't you take two points from yourself, Wade? Or did that get fixed?

You also took two points from yourself, Bob. Oh, that get fixed? You also took two points from yourself, Bob. So it started on an even plane. Yes. But Bob is today's winner. Congratulations. I will not take any criticisms on my judging. I am fair and impartial. And that was the whole point of this.

I'll take criticisms on his judging. Help me subreddit. You've got my back. Join my utopia. Nukes for everyone. Everyone's hungry, but they have nukes. And sex. So much sex.

So much sex. Nothing's better than hungry sex. That's a shirt right there. Nothing's better than hungry sex. God, alright. So we're closing this up. Bob, do you have a winner speech? That's a shirt right there. Nothing's better than a... God. All right. So we're closing this up. Bob, do you have a winner speech?

This was an incredibly fun game. And I feel like I literally won because of the coin toss because it was really funny. Whoever was the devil's advocate. Good job, Wade. I'm sorry Mark is so biased against you. Thank you. Thank you. It's not a criticism.

I'm just stating facts. I will take this opportunity to speak for myself and give my loser speech. Bob, you were a trustworthy and worthy opponent who was very honorable in the end. Mark, the terrible judge. Not a criticism, just a fact. Failed us both. And I feel like I only lost because of poor judging and a coin flip. So Subrit, get my back. Defend me. Tell me why I'm great. And that's it for me. I

feel like I'm supposed to have power in this. I feel like I'm supposed to be Can I be on the bone throne? Is that bone throne like for multiple definitions, WinkWink? If you crawl your way up and step on the bones of the hungry, sure. Don't worry, I'll have the children clean it up later.

I hate you. God, I hate you. Follow us on our various social medias but most importantly follow the podcast for more updates we do more bullshit like this uh well not like this every episode's a surprise it's a fun time for everyone to learn morals and uh be good people going into the future which is what we may or may not believe in thank Thank you, Bob. And thank you, Wade. LordMinion777, MySkirm, various places and on Twitch. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry for my poor judgment. Not a criticism, just a fact.

So are we. Podcast out.