Distractible - Don't Say Christmas

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

Wade's Secret Words, but this time there's only a single word: Christmas. -- Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/distractible to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 4 months for free! It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in Pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible,

a Wood Elf production. Merry Christmas. This week, the boys kick off with a three-way soft-shipping moment. Wade lays down a festive linguistic trap, and it's shrivel time all over. Um, points-wise, Bob celebrates a Christmas bun in the oven, hard plowing and unfolding hot wheels. And our antsy OnlyFans hero, Mark, has huge V-Log energy and enjoys a good maul.

Yes, it's time for Don't Say Christmas. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. All right, guys, here's how the breakdown's gonna go. We have several different topics here. We're gonna go through as many as we can in the time that we got. The guys are gonna start with 100 points each,

and every time they say the secret word, they're gonna lose a point. For the sake of me being sadistic, the secret word for every topic is always just going to be Christmas. So every time the boys say Christmas, they're going to lose a point. I'm not going to tell them until the end of the topic how many points they lost that time. It should be a fun one. Let's get back to it. Alright guys, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm your host today, Wade. It has been too long.

But I'm back in the driver's seat, baby, and it feels good. Not long enough, if you ask me. Also, I guess I'm joined by these two. Kind of forgot you two were here. Hey, Mark. Hey, Bob. How's it going, guys?

Hey, what is up, my bro? What is up, my main man? Just my win count. Man, you are looking handsome today. Thank you. I don't know why but that voice had big like early 2000s vlog energy mark did it i wanted to jump in and just be like yeah we're at a water park today and these guys are supposed to have a vertical drop slide whoa we're at a theme

park it's so hype are you guys ready for some No, no, this is the week leading up to Christmas. No theme parks. It's all about Christmas today. Okay. Oh, why can't you have Christmas at a theme park? Yeah. Sounds great. That would be pretty cool. I guess you probably could, yeah.

I did that right after Christmas one year. We went to Disney and did like New Year's. That was pretty good. That'd be fun. I guess it'd be kind of nicer weather than what's typically Ohio weather in winter. yeah ohio sucks we get it okay i like ohio but that's fine subreddit has made it very clear ohio sucks and is a joke just be glad that i've not started with the points yet or i would deduct so many from you right now oh i want you to do it take them hurt me oh that's my bit but i'm tempted don't tempt me oh that's your bit i just did it uh he did

my bit he did just do it i don't even remember you ever having a bit like that you wanted to win so badly that's true deep down i've wanted to win for a while it feels good to be in the winner's chair i love winning so it's clearly bob's it makes me feel like i'm important yeah it's my bit now and according to the reddit i should have won every episode we've ever done ever so it feels good to have won again reddit doesn't really know what they're talking about cheated man i might have but hey whatever counts as a win counts as a win it's not about who you step on to get on top it's about being on top huh right uh-huh you can step on me maybe there'll be some bonus points after all i don't know step on me how are you guys you

guys had a good uh holiday season yeah yeah thanksgiving and everything all the lovely this time of year stuff yeah it's a little different when you live across the country from family and can't travel because your wife is uh very pregnant but i guess that's fair we had chill holidays it was very nice to just relax and, you know, hang out a little bit. That's good. Well, I guess I've got a fun topic or topics, I suppose, for us today

in honor of the holiday season. I think it'll be a fun one. So I'm excited. And in honor of, you know, Christmas coming up or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whatever you all celebrate, I've decided to give you both

a hundred points to start off the day. Wow. All right. I don't want them. Take them away. Just a free 100 points each. Nope. Rejected.

Okay. It's 100 to zero. I think I win. Thank you guys, everyone, so much. Next week, I will be hosting, and I'll bring a more exciting topic than the one Wade brought. You're not taking this episode from me. I've waited too long to be on top to have it taken that quickly. Bob, you're participating whether you want to or not. I mean, you're the judge Wade brought. You're not taking this episode from me. I've waited too long to be on top to have it taken that quickly.

Bob, you're participating whether you want to or not. I mean, you're the judge, so. It's my episode. I'm hosting. Yeah. Ooh. I just, I'm probably registering my protest. I just want everyone to know that I'm protesting.

I'm going to give you extra points if you keep on going like this, Bob. No, God, shut up. Don't laugh. I want to lose. All right. You're both at 100 points. and we're just gonna talk about some stuff some holiday themed things in honor of christmas coming up because you know we are getting older and we've had more and more christmases under our belts that'd be a cool episode idea go on yeah well if you win you can host it next time humbug even

well uh is there anything you guys want to talk about any announcements anything exciting before we jump into the first topic uh i object to whatever decision is made during this uh episode and i feel like it's completely unfair to both me and bob somehow both great noted i wager a thousand points well we can bet you can can try. I guarantee it'll work. Oh, I call Mark's bet. Show us the flop. All right. The river is a 10 of spades. Hmm. Poker jokes.

You all play poker, right, listeners? You said you called, so whenever you say you call, that's the first thing I thought of. Oh, no. I said show us the flop. Oh. I was there. I'm just suddenly realizing that poker was only- Well, the flop, the turn, the river.

Is it the turn? The flop, the river, the turn, the turn, the river? Is that how it goes? I think the river is the last one, yes. Yeah. And the turn is... The fourth one is the turn? Yeah.

Okay, cool. Yes. It's been a while since I've pokered. I'm just realizing that was only cool for like two years in the mid-2000s. I don't know if anyone thinks poker is cool anymore. Really? I loved it back... Anyway, yeah.

No, it's not. Probably. Unless it is. Then I like it still. I agree I'm just gonna get started with the that's really getting off the rails Listen, it's a really great idea. It's a really great episode You guys are gonna love this and even if you don't everyone else and I will so let's get started All right, you know what? I've got plenty of things to talk about

We're gonna get started and what better to talk about first than the Christmas holiday season shopping experience? So there's not really like a you go first, you go first. We can just talk about it and you guys can handle things however you want. But let's talk about Christmas shopping and all of the fun that starts, I guess, what, Thanksgiving Day now with Black Friday deals? And starts the week before. Even better. Early Black Friday. Yeah yeah so there we go

christmas shopping experience how fun it is any good stories you all have whatever you want to talk about related to this topic so you know i oh we have to come up with this we uh we gotta do talking mark you just talk you just yeah just talk it's just have memories or thoughts there's no games tied to this is like uh nothing special about it no he didn't say there was the points start now so i will award or deduct points moving forward how i see fit based on just how the topic and discussion go pretty straightforward no games nothing complicated so starting now points are on the table christmas shopping experience go entertain me look i used to hate christmas shopping okay the mall is busy every store is busy but modern christmas shopping i love it strip down to my underwear climb into bed hold

my phone in front of my face and and pick the first thing I find off of all the Amazon lists that all of my friends and family maintains fastidiously. Done. One 20 minute session. Christmas is done. Easy peasy. Love it. I've only ever used lists for like wedding registries and baby registries.

That's it. But how will you get what you want if you don't tell people what you want? I don't want things. I'm not a wanting person. I don't really want items like give me food i mean look when i was like when i was a kid i was down whatever came out of the packages whatever santa brought i was into it but as an adult there's a lot of things in life that like you need and that doesn't really feel like you know i don't want to ask for like an electric toothbrush for christmas i guess i could and i do it's on my

list or whatever stuff like that but i don't want random stuff anymore so much i have a house full of stuff that i've accumulated over my life that takes up all my space i don't know where things come from but you just get like piles of books and paper and whatever it feels like there's stuff everywhere yeah but i want the stuff that like i know i want the thing the one specific model of the thing that i kind of would be useful to have i would want that but i don the stuff that like i know i want the thing the one specific model of the thing that i kind of would be useful to have i would want that but i don't want someone to guess what i want that sounds awful yeah i agree with that part i don't like random so you make a list i'm not i don't want random thoughtful gifts give me what i want although i do have to i do have to

give some credit gifting is hard and i'm bad at it my mother-in-law is like the best gift giver ever she has given me presents including a scarf that I accidentally already owned that was so dead on that it was literally the one I wanted. Also, she gave me a present that was ahead of its time. She gave me an air fryer and I was like, what is an air fryer? Oh, like a while back before they became popular? Like before they were trendy, she gave me one because she knows I like cooking. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know what this is. Would you be angry if I like exchange this or whatever? And I did. And then like two years later, I was like, man, I want an air fryer for Christmas.

I wish I had an air fryer this whole time. She knows, but it's tough. Everyone else, it's a struggle. And I feel that I like the list. The list is good. The list is safe. That is fair. But I do got to say, like the people that are good at gift giving, they are incredibly

good and they just make it seem like all of the list requiring are just excuses because amy is the type of person and i think i talked about this last year who plans gifts ahead like way way way in advance puts everyone to shame in terms of just like thoughtfulness it'll be like you'll say one word down the road you know an off of the cuff response to something and she will remember it latch onto something if it was something that you wanted that she could turn into a tangible gift she can get it there and it just goes to show like some people are thinking about other people in that way and i i feel bad about myself in in not being able to do that i feel my own shortcomings i feel that i'm like i don't know so you kind of like gotta come up with excuses that are like i'm fine i'm okay

but all year long molly's picking up knickknacks and things for people to say, oh, they'd love this for their birthday or for Christmas or for whatever. And it's like me. I tell all my friends the same thing. Don't you dare fucking give me anything and I'm not going to give you anything. And that's how we maintain our friendship.

You give me a gift, it's over. That's pretty. That's quite a stance to take. Thank you. That's a threatening aura for the holidays. I don't want to feel guilt for not getting someone something listen you buy for you i'll buy for me and we'll shake hands on it i feel what you know you were saying though mark i feel that so deeply even mandy and like my parents it gets to be like holidays time and i'll literally sit there and

be like shit what does mandy do what does she like i don't even know this person. What do I get for? What is this? Socks? Does she like socks? No, I understand. How do I forget everything I know about my wife when it comes to gift giving? I don't even. It is tough because like a lot of times you have the things you feel like you need or

you want. And it's not like we're going around playing with toys or whatever else. And we don't necessarily need new outfits every year. It does get really challenging unless there's like a specific thing that you know that they're looking for already. It's like, I don't have a damn clue what would be cool for you. Do you want, I found a cool rock outside. You want it? I found a cool rock.

Hey, you know what? That's funny and all, but there is such a thing as a cool rock, okay? There is. I have a rock in my possession from a parking lot outside of a target in north carolina that was hidden in a thing of mulch that mandy spotted and it says on the back of it uh some names and a date and it's like if you found me i'm your present how you did it it's like a hidden it's almost like a geocache except we found it accidentally and that's it but that that's a cool rock, man.

That's a very cool rock. I kept that rock. Great rock. Whoever made that? I've never found a cool rock like that. Cool rock. All right. Well, no interesting Christmas shopping stories.

No crazy Black Friday tales or anything. Y'all avoided that stuff? I don't know. It's just like, I like the mall experience. I'm a mall guy. I don't know what it is, but I like walking around the mall. It's slightly been impeded by the fact that, like, I've become known in most circles. That's fair, that's fair.

So it's harder for me to go to the mall and just, like, walk around. That used to be my pastime. But I still do it. I still go around, and I'll go to the mall, and... Oh, wait, one second. It's a gift. I've got a gift. What? Oh! And we brought a gift! Thank've got a gift. Amy brought a gift. Thank you. It was Christmas during this episode.

I didn't know we were doing this right now. Thank you so much. Oh, Amy got me food. Don't act like that's a big deal. That's the best gift of all. It is a big deal. I can't believe Amy brought me McDonald's. Like, that's the thing?

That is a banger gift. Food is a great gift. Yeah. Wade said, like, he only wanted food. Thank you, Amy. Yeah, and then Amy's like, oh, only food? But what about for Mark? Yeah, food.

Hey, hell yeah. Listen, I had more to say, but I'm done. I got to eat. Well, I was going to jump in and say, I very much feel that, Mark. My whole life, there's like the trope, right? Of like, oh, well, the women love shopping. Your wife loves going to shopping. And they put those couches out there for the men to sit on because men hate shopping.

Yeah. I like shopping. I love shopping. When it's like holiday season and every store has like a thousand people in it a little stressful not my favorite yeah a nice you know low capacity mall where you got some space and you can just walk around and stuff it's a fun time i even like department stores you know i've never bought cologne for any reason in my entire life but i'll smell some cologne oh wait i don't know what they smell like i was selling you on uh going

to a department store to go suit shopping you were saying you literally got i've still got it in my phone yeah if you visit i've still got that in my phone so we can go shopping you either come here i go there and we're gonna go suit shopping we're gonna suit shopping does wade need a suit or is this just like i just did regular clothes but i can get a suit yeah you've seen wade's outfit it's still the same as from when he was in college he's got to like update that wardrobe dude i still wear clothes from junior high that doesn't mean he doesn't have a suit though i have a tuxedo and a and a tweed jacket and a couple suits i can wear yeah but you could have a wardrobe since law school you could have more i literally have clothes from 2002 that i still wear dude well you gotta go shopping i know people do that and aside

from the fact that i struggled my way going up and down, which sort of eliminates some clothes from my wardrobe at different times, I have one shirt that I've done that with. And literally it was the situation from like sitcoms where it got so ratty and full of holes and gross looking. It reached a point where I wore it one day and Mandy was like, throw that shirt away. There are so many holes. It looks awful. Throw it away. And I was like, this website doesn't exist anymore. You can't even get this shirt.

Yeah, I hate it. It was, but I hate getting rid of those shirts. Yeah. I did have a lot of holes. It was like half holes. The early 2000s were the age of baggy clothes. So everything was like super oversized, which means now it fits me perfectly. No, but baggy clothes are coming back in.

No, not baggy clothes, but you know, it's not skinny jeans anymore. Thank God. Yeah. Or anything like that. William Irish is, I believe, popularizing the big t-shirt. Who? His name? I don't know.

Is that our editor? Is that his name? Laptop big t-shirt, Billy Eilish. Oh, I think it's William. William. William. Yeah, William Irish. Oh. Is that not? Oh. Ah. Ah. laptop big t-shirt billy eilish oh but i think it's william william william irish that joke went over all of our heads i love when a joke lands so hard that no one even

knows what's happening people out there listening they were like it was great for them yeah the the minority of our intelligent viewers deserve a joke every now and then. But most of us dumb ones didn't get it. That's called most of our audience dumb. Yep. You're idiots. Get over it. You know who you are.

All right. I don't. We'll move on to the next story here. And looking at our point spread for round one, Mark, you broke even. You actually are at zero points for that round that's what i'm talking about baby did you want to earn zero points that's what i'm talking about all right well bob you managed to lose six huh congrats okay so we want to lose points i'm assuming because i performed excellently during that round you did perform excellently

whether or not you want to lose points though i'm not going to say i feel good i feel positively about this amy got me a burger so i think i know why i broke even if anything you should have lost a bunch of points for making me want food but it's fine we're going to move on to i didn't know should i get some food weight's favorite for me if you get food for me some buffalo brothers wings i will restore all six points if I end up with food from you on my doorstep in the next like half an hour. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. For now, we're going to move on to our second topic.

And this should be a quick one. Just we're on the Christmas theme here. So what are some favorite presents you remember getting, like physical gifts you've gotten specifically on Christmas in your lifetime? Just like you got, you opened the present, you were just really excited to see what you got.

I mean, this is obvious for me. I think I talked about this last year too. So you can dock me for repeating, but it's a Starcraft. When my dad, it was like post-divorce, we were losing the house. We didn't have any money. We had a tiny tree with like basic tinsel on there. And my dad couldn't afford any presents. And he got one, we had one present there and it was Starcraft. And me and my brother, we were the happiest we could ever be like i remember that even to this day how happy we're it wasn't even a full tree right it was a tiny like two foot tree on a table on like an end table and they're just we didn't have anything but we were so happy and i think my dad cried because he was like we me and my brother were not just like fake happy we're so

legitimately happy thankfully we weren't brats about it. Where's our present? We had 37 presents last year. It was just like we were happy to have that. That's all we ever wanted. And we were really, really excited. So that's what I remember. That's a great story.

I won't deduct any points for that. That's a great story. It answers the question honestly. Bob, what about you? That was a good story. I got some pretty great christmas presents i'm trying to remember more specifically this one is when i'm pretty young i'm gonna do i'm gonna do two and count them as very similar the big thing for me was i've always

been into gaming anyone who knows who we are probably gets that and knows that but there were two that i very particularly remember as like you know having a very amenable reaction and hyperventilating and all that stuff it was when i was really young we got an n64 and it was not like the year it came out i don't think i don't remember very accurately that's very i was very young that was a while ago and then also we got an xbox and the xbox blew my mind because that we got the xbox with halo your original halo combat evolved and i had never played a twin stick shooter like that and some of my favorite games were like golden eye win back 64 like that you know perfect dark

that sort of stuff when we got halo and we plugged it in, we had to get the RF adapter so you could plug it in the back of your old 90s Mitsubishi TV and put it on channel three. And when I started playing Halo for the first time, I like lost my shit completely. But I would say both of those because consoles are such a huge thing, right? Yeah.

Now we're doing what we do. And like, you know, it's work now. And, you know, when stuff comes out, it's like, oh, well, you know when stuff comes out it's like oh well i should i should get the new thing whatever i just recently got a ps5 as a gift from a friend but you know this is like it's some somehow that ruined part of my childhood where it used to be you know my god my buddy got a gamecube like we gotta go to his house like he's the guy that has the gamecube in our friend group we gotta hang out at his house on the game cube like he's the guy that has the game cube in our friend group we gotta

hang out at his house his house his house so when you got a console it was like ah i'm the guy i got the console and like that those memories stand i'm sure i got lots of really great stuff that i'm not remembering in this moment but those memories stand out for me because that was like momentous things in terms of like we got the next thing and i don't have to go to brian's house to play the gamecube i have the xbox yeah it was like a moment and and halo i've said for a long time it's my favorite game so that that was like a formative the xbox with halo is like a formative thing for me and it was a christmas present technically my brother and i got and we had to share and that was fine but that's not like a huge memory for me still yeah i got a playstation 2 and i was that guy with the playstation 2 the year that that

came out and everyone was coming over and i remember playing summoner like the graphic upgrade from playstation 1 to playstation 2 just seemed so severely amazing that i remember like playing a game called smugglers run where i'm pretty sure you just switched out your car and you delivered drugs, which is probably not what I should have been playing, but I was playing that. Hell yeah. And Summoner, which is an RPG,

which I wish they would remake. I love Summoner and Summoner 2. Need them remade, please. Whoever owns them, this is an official distractible call. I'm the host. I speak on behalf of distractible. Remake those games for me.

Thank you. I never really liked them that much. Did you ever play Summoner? I played Summoner 2. I played Summoner summoner so much dude i totally know what that is all right i'm wearing my skeptical glasses but i will allow it oh god he's pissed he's pissed i know what that is so good it's the thing with summoner 2 is like i started the game and i was like getting into it and i just it didn't get very far i was a few hours in and i was just like this is kind of i feel like one was superior in a lot of ways i liked some of the adaptations for two but anyway that's a whole other story for another time but

i love those games i loved the lore i loved the world and it was like the first real rpg i ever really played i didn't really grow up playing like zelda or you know stuff like that so my first experience of games outside of like twisted metal Metal and Pokemon, I guess Pokemon's an RPG, but console wise was really Summoner and it just blew my mind playing that game. All right. Good times. That's legit. That's legit.

Well, good show. How many points did I lose? You lost two. And Mark, you are maintaining. You're still at zero loss. Hell yeah. I'm doing so good probably. I'm eight points ahead, idiot.

You're doing terrible. No, you're eight points down. Yeah, which is ahead. Well, depending on how you're looking. It's not about the points. It's about the time we spend together and bullshit like that, right? Memories made along the way or something. It is like bullshit like that.

I guess it's some bullshit i don't yeah all right it's christmas eve we are preparing to go to sleep santa is real and we want to give santa the best or i guess if you hate santa worst treat possible you're gonna make santa christmas cookies in fact you know what we're gonna go with the worst cookies possible we're gonna try to make the worst possible cookies for Santa. How are you gonna make them? Oatmeal raisin. What?

What's wrong with you? Oatmeal raisin's great. I love oatmeal raisin. What's wrong with oatmeal raisin? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a step. What's wrong with oatmeal raisin? It thinks it's a real cookie. That's what's wrong with it.

It's a real cookie. It's a delicious cookie. When you go to someone's house, or if you're in a restaurant or something, and they're like, oh, would you like a cookie? And you're like, yeah, that sounds great. I love cookies. What a great surprise. And then they give you an oatmeal raisin cookie. It's like you've been lied to and wronged,

and also you're ashamed for them all in one. Or you don't like for you guys dealing with me, because this is terrible hearing you not like oatmeal raisins. No, no, you butt out of this. You don't say anything insulting to your friend, because you just got a cookie, a sweet treat that can't be beat. You don't be a shitty friend. You say, thank you very much, and you eat the damn cookie,

and you know what? It's delicious. It's delicious. I love oatmeal raisin cookies. They're good. Look, I'm not saying that I wouldn't out loud to the person be like oh thank you avocado but that's not a good cookie i'm not gonna argue that it's not technically a cookie because i don't want to get into it but it's the worst kind of cookie because it's a lie if someone says to you

oh i have oatmeal raisin cookies you want one you'd be like i'm i'm full i'm good but if someone is like do you want a good cookie and then they give you an oatmeal raisin cookie it's bad it's a cookie what is wrong it's in the cookie shape what else would you even call it it's delicious because it's sweet and it just because you want a chocolate chip cookie doesn't mean that you bite into an oatmeal resin you go like all right all right what is this poison to my brain bob's wrong here i'm just gonna say that want a chocolate chip cookie doesn't mean that you bite into an oatmeal resin and you go like Alright, alright. What is this poison to my veins? Bob's wrong here. I'm just going to say that right now.

You butt out of this! I'm the host, damn it! No, no, no, no. I won't take this slander against oatmeal raisin. I agree with you. What do you mean? I'm agreeing with you. I won't take this slander Yeah, join my side, Wade. Let's get him. I like oatmeal raisin cookies. I don't understand what's happening.

Nah, you don't have to lie. Just a play KM. You're the host. Tell the truth. Okay, Bob's giving Santa a delicious cookie on Christmas. Mark, what are you giving Santa? The worst cookie you can think of. You can make it with other things.

Bob, what's your favorite cookie? Oh, that's a tough one. Can I pick two? Sure. My favorite family recipe cookie that we have is a one that's very nostalgic for me it's like a brown sugar cookie dough but then you make dates you like cook dates down into like a very thick jam so you put a layer of dough in like a big round cookie shape and then you put jam on the the date jam on top of that and spread out a little bit and then

you put a dollop of cookie dough on top so it it's not like filled, but it bakes into like a layered date cookie. It's like a family recipe. I've never seen this anywhere else. I'm sure it exists somewhere else, but my grandma always made them. I'm giving Santa that because it sounds like a horse shit. That sounds like the worst cookie I've ever heard of. I'm giving Santa that and hope he dies of poisoning from that awful. Are you saying oatmeal raisin is your favorite kind of cookie?

I'm not even saying it's my favorite, but it's better than whatever that slop your family's put together. No, no, the date. You haven't had the stewed dates. Who likes dates? Single people. Dates are delicious, you uncultured pig. Dates are nowhere near delicious. What are you talking about?

Single people. That's funny. No, good joke, bud. Thank you. What was your second cookie bob yeah my second cookie if we're talking ones that you can like get from stores and places i freaking love white chocolate chip macadamia nut with dried cranberry i've seen that at other stores and stuff that's a banger cookie and you can get those at a lot of stores that is a banger cookie yeah i can't i can't deny oh I couldn't slander that cookie so the worst possible cookies

you two could think of to give Santa on Christmas are two delicious sounding cookies it didn't sound delicious to me whatever Bob was describing with dates and what not raw cookie dough slopped on top that cookie tastes better than you do yeah well I'm gonna stand by that, I guess.

He got me. Wade got to fucking give him the points. Neither one of you get or lose any points for this, and we're going to move on immediately. How do I not lose points from that? That was awful. I wish. I wish.

I talked about tasting, Mark. My hands are tied at this point. You're the judge. Untie them. I refuse to. I'm way too kinky. You butt out of this. You butt out of this untie your hands shut up man i'm so sorry i didn't mean that seems fair that seems fair interfere who's hosting this me somehow mark is this mark episode yeah yeah i'll get uh next topic

all right decorations do you guys go all out for christmas decorations do you like christmas decorations hate them anything you want to talk about in relation to christmas decorations i like i like decorations but if i was a bachelor i was on my own i don't know that i would do anything more than like have a small christmas tree that you don't even have to like put together like a one you know a small tree in a pot situation yeah And just get that out of a box around Christmas time and plug it in and have one thing. I don't like the act of decorating, but I love a nice, you know, a nicely decorated house. And I love Christmas lights.

Go to the zoo and seeing like the Christmas lights at the zoo is a big thing in Columbus growing up. And the Cincinnati Zoo does it too. So you guys might have done this, but that was fun time. I love Christmas lights. Every year, Molly and I, that's like our thing. Since we first started,

the first year we started dating, up until now, every year, except for we skipped 2020 whenever everything was like on lockdown. But every year we go down to the zoo for the Festival of Lights. Yeah.

I love it. Bob, I don't know why, but your story reminded me of, I'm putting something in the Discord. There's a subreddit called like Men's Living Spaces or something like that. so it's pictures of people's living rooms where men live and it's like a tv on the ground their bed is a futon and i just imagine you have a tiny christmas tree in the corner it's like if you if you weren't married this is where you'd be living

it finally happened everybody mark finally said christmas dear god no listen i love furniture okay but yeah if i lived alone i'd have like a very comfortable couch a nice tv on a tv stand so it was like the good eye level for on the couch and like a good bed but beyond that yeah i would live in a very sad bachelor looking sort of place i would not yeah i might have really nerdy posters on the wall of like thing video games and car things that I like, but that's about it. I've done that with the TV on the floor for longer than I would like to. But that's because when I was a kid, I would always play video games and I would sit on

the floor in front of the TV. The TV was on a stand, of course, but I would sit on the floor like that's what you did. You got to get close to it. Yeah. For the intense gaming. Yeah. Lean into those scathode rays i had a fisher price like dining table like a little plastic dining table that we sat at as kids and so i would just sit on that even whenever i was oversized for it i would just it was like two benches like a picnic table style but like made of plastic that

we had inside when i got too big to sit at it like a normal table i would just sit on it like with my legs facing out instead of in the table and that's where i would sit to play games was on that little picture price table that's the best though been a long time but the the like little kids toys that you had when you were a little kid but also you kept as you kept growing older and like you know getting bigger those are the best my brother had this this castle that was one of those play castles with the catapult and an elevator and the drawbridge goes up and down. We had that guy forever. He was fun.

I feel like I had another one. Oh, I had the Micro Machines RV. Did you guys have that one? No. No. Oh, that was the best. I know you grew up poor, Mark. I was too poor to have such things.

I know. The Micro Machines were the jam, and I never even put one up my nose or anything, which seems like an obvious hazard with tiny cars for tiny children. What is a micromachine? What is an even micromachine? So it's like Hot Wheels, but like half scale of what a Hot Wheels is. Oh, then they open up? Well, they lived in a city where when it was closed, it looked like an RV,

but you could open it and drive them around. They were unfolded, and it had a mountain you could go up and a car wash that you could park the car on it, and then you move the car wash slidey thing back and forth. Yeah. I remember looking longingly at these in the store. I know, buddy. I know.

Sorry. These would be like age 13 and up nowadays with how small they are. I grew up just so wealthy. I had all the micro-machines. Two side yards wealthy? Three side yards. The house was really more of a parallelogram. Oh no, that's not right.

A pentagon. There were many side yards. The pentagonal home. A true sign of wealth. Do you guys decorate much now as it is uh not really we haven't yet i yesterday i put up the christmas tree which is like a new we got a new bigger one because we have a we're putting it in a bigger space and uh like last year we did like lights on the house because of the baby this year i'm not like super into that but we're i think we're gonna get one of those house projectors so we can pretend like we put lights up and just have you know like that's fun little

lights on the front of the house sort of deal that's pretty cool i love seeing decorations i love driving around and looking at them but we don't really decorate much ourselves outside of a tree yeah i can't even remember the last time i went out and decorated because it's just it's just like that is not something that's on my list of things to do during christmas i just i like going out and seeing other people's decorations and some people really go into it but at the same time it's like me i just like oh man i can't i can't be bothered i can't i can barely keep my house in shape as it is you know let alone worrying about all that no that's fair i feel like time and plus we usually don't host things for the holidays so

it's like other than our neighbors It's like family doesn't really come over and see it all anyway So it's not really that big of a concern my grandpa loved decorating and he loved things that made noise So his house was full of like motion sensor plushies that would like you'd walk in front of them Like they'd all start singing Christmas songs like the Douglas fir trees and all that crap. He had so many of those He had him outside He had them inside and he was always placing them strategically to where like it wasn't even for christmas but like all

year around he had this big bird stuffed animal in our uh at his cabin down in like kentucky and when you'd open the bathroom and turn on the light it was like light activated so you would turn on the light you would just hear like big birds start laughing and it was terrifying so anytime someone new visited and had no idea you'd be like oh yeah the restroom is over there and then we'd all creepily like gather outside waiting for them to flip on the light to hear big bird like welcome them into the bathroom so that's why i think with decorations are him and his noise making machines my family didn't do that growing up but um mandy's family has like a couple of those for like different holiday

seasonal type things i love those those guys. They're very funny They're especially funny with like pets dogs and stuff Have you ever listened to videos of like the fish Billy bass whatever the hell was called or Douglas for like with dying batteries? Oh, yeah, one of my favorite. Yeah Feels good feels good feels good all right good show you both lose two points each congrats oh thank you i did way better or worse than mark that round i can't tell oh you did the same according to my point system all right that's what his point system said oh all right new topic topic. Maybe even a new point system. I guess we'll find out. I've got written for this topic. Do big Christmas gifts is good.

Wow. So that's topic. I guess I didn't really refine that one. There's all those commercials for like people. I don't know if you remember. I don't think they still air it. But like the last couple of years, there was a commercial where like this guy, this girl that lived in this very extravagant house. I think she presents him with like matching watches one's red and one's black and he's like i got a something too and they go out i think we've even talked about this on the show and they go outside they've got two big suvs and he's like all right i got one for you one for me and she runs over to the black suv and she's like i love it and he was like actually the red one i

love it and like she's obsessed with keeping the black one he's like i like red but they have this really like fancy house they're very expensive cars very expensive looking watch it's just like so unobtainable for like 99 of people to have that christmas that they apparently had look wade i hate to break it to you but snl just did a video on this and i know we talked about this before but now you're just pulling from snl oh my god are you stealing topics from other better shows yeah i'm just asking what you guys think about doing big extravagant christmas surprises like would you ever surprise somebody with something expensive like a car like what if they didn't like it what if that's not the car they want like i don't know yeah no that's exactly so terrifying the first thought i have ever had about any christmas gift even if

it's small it's like if this isn't from their amazon list or whatever if they didn't tell me about this at some point i'm just like oh well they like you know they like driving yeah yeah i'll just get them a car to drive who would do that uh i actually have the story okay let's hear it all right so i don't usually talk about the things that i i help my mom with documenter being one of them but a few years ago i had uh when when team applier was more of a thing we had a company car right sure so we had a it was a very nice car and it was something where after that kind of like petered out a little bit and started like changing the direction of what type of stuff i was doing i was like oh my mom needs a car because the car that she had was like the dog car. And we had Lucy, which is

a huge great Pyrenees, 120 pounds of dog and loves to run in the mud, loves to poop a lot, you know, kind of a dirty dog. And so that car had gotten really dirty. And as much as I told my mom, like, you can get that car detailed. They will clean it for you. She went, no, it's too late. Like you can get that car detailed. They will clean it for you. She went, no, it's too late. That car is a wash. Like my mom was just like, this car is doomed.

I was like, all right, mom. So I was like, oh, I'm not really using this car. I don't need two cars. I don't know why anyone ever would. So I was like, I'll gift this to my mom. And that is basically the equivalent of what you see in those commercials. Cause like, yeah, mom, I got a good car and I think you'll like it. I sent it over there. The problem is it's a plug-in hybrid, right?

So that my mom technologically not savvy enough to understand that you needed to plug this car in. It's not a full battery powered car but it has a bigger battery than a hybrid would be. And it can run fully electric for a little bit like maybe 30, 50 miles. But the problem is with those things if you do not plug it in, it will drain the main battery

to try to keep the electrical systems alive and it will die a lot. And so not only did my mom not like this car, this really nice expensive car, but she- It was a nice car. It was a nice car. Yeah, you remember it.

I remember it was a great car. Yeah, she would let it rot in the driveway. And so for two years, it was constantly a cycle where I would, from across the country, call a tow truck, or I would have Evan help call a tow truck, and they would get it towed, fixed, it would go back to my mom's house, and it would rot, and the battery would die. And she'd be like, it doesn't work, this car is broken, and I'm like, oh, you can just plug it in, just plug it in. And so it was just a nightmare until only recently, got it traded out to another car sad yeah so would you say the christmas car idea was good or bad bad bad it was terrible two

years of annoyances just no good yeah no well that's the thing too right it was not for christmas but my first car i ever had was a gift, but it wasn't a new car. It was a 1994, 93 Buick Century, just like an old Buick sedan. And it was, you know, parked at my grandma's house and she didn't really drive anymore. She was at the age where, and she had a husband who did the driving anyway, who had his own car. But like she had this car that she used to use to get to work and go around town and she didn't use it.

So I got it as a gift, which makes sense. And if you're in the position where you, you know, something terrible happens, if your car breaks down and you can't at that exact moment afford to like get a new one or have a lease, something or whatever, you can't afford to solve that problem. Any car is great. As a kid who just got his license, was like i don't care what it is give it to me i'll drive it but like if you're doing this in the context of the commercial you said wade and with anything i think this is true if you're like getting someone you know you're

getting them some very expensive computer that they need or or something extravagant like an appliance which is not a very sexy christmas gift but sometimes your fridge breaks and you need a new fridge like you know it happens there options, especially with cars. There's a lot of options, but with anything that's expensive, how would you possibly get all the right options, the right color, the plug-in hybrid issue, which is a very funny story. Like you don't know, even if you, you know, kind of what they want, you don't know exactly what a person might want unless they very specifically told you. It just seems like an gamble and also who spends that much i've gotten some pretty extravagant christmas presents i'm very lucky but i think like the video game consoles are probably the most

expensive christmas presents i've gotten yeah unless i was like in college where i was like a broke college kid and my parents were like we'll get you a new you know your laptop since your computer broke for Christmas whole wink I was like yeah well I know I'm poor and annoying thanks parents whatever just seems insane I would never do that ever for any reason no I feel and it's so expensive like I don't know how many people can actually afford to do something like that unless it's like something you've been planning on doing anyway and it's like i don't know you have to really budget for that if you're going to be pulling off like the surprise car for someone but like the i got us both new cars oh okay well nice you're just sitting on 100 grand did your significant other not know about it you guys just that rich he's been eating ramen for like two straight years or is it just like oh

god i've got money flowing so i don't know i just don't know how there's always the commercials every year about those big gifts. And it's like always the big car companies. It's like, man, how many people actually pull that off? And how often? I mean, there are people with more money than cents out there. Even if they can't afford it, you know, they would do it anyway. Just because they think it's like you're in a sweeping gesture. The monthly payments are low.

This is exactly the SNL sketch. I wouldn't even want like a surprise animal, like a cat or a dog or something because it's like well i don't oh that's awful never get that thing that's terrible yeah yeah that's a burden that's a responsibility such a good way to absolutely ruin that animal's life yeah in so many different ways never do that that's stupid yeah no i agree well technically okay my mom again my mom as i was leaving. My mom, as I was leaving for L.A. to move, I was moving in a month, less than a month. I think it was around Christmas where she was like, I got you a dog, and that was Lucy. I got you a great purity. As you're leaving. Yeah, it was just like, and so my first memory with Lucy was that she shat in my bedroom and then

put her paws in the poop and put it all over the door trying to get out. So it's literally just like, I shouldn't have known with the car afterwards, it all comes together. Like she just loved jumping in poop. Like this is how she was. Oh my God. Merry Christmas. oh my god merry christmas we're running down here um hmm let's see how many points do we get yeah okay uh mark you lost two points that round hell yeah bob you lost three yeah well i win but it's probably for more of a

windfall than that i I know, I know. But unfortunately, it was close. I can't believe it. Let's see. What do we want to talk about next? I feel like we've already answered this one, so I'm going to skip that. Do you guys see a correlation between temperature outside and like Christmas and the feeling of Christmas?

Growing up here in Ohio, it's always exciting to have like the white Christmas. It's like as I get older, I like snow a little bit less and less each year because just dealing with it, salting, shoveling, whatever. i don't enjoy the fun of sledding and snowman building and like you don't get to not go to school anymore because we don't have school so it's like what does snow do but i still feel like christmas day there's something magical about looking outside and seeing like snow out there whereas where you guys are i don't even know if you get snow do you get snow bob like maybe once a decade or something we have not really had yeah like it does snow in the bay i've heard from people who like live here or from here that

we're friends with but it's like a legend yeah well the thing too about this happens in all of california but it's way more treacherous because we're in the area where it can rain quite a bit and get kind of cold enough to snow californians don't give a shit how steep your driveway is, how steep a road is, if it's plowable. In Ohio, people would be absolutely screwed if they made like driveways and neighborhoods the way they do here. And it's partially because California is very like mountainous in some parts and hilly in general and, you know, coastal. But there are places where you would just die in and around the bay area because like your driveway is a 20 degree grade and it goes down to a busy street or like you live at the top of a hill that's an insanely steep hill where you

would never be able to drive to the bottom of it even in a light snow because if you lost grip for half a second you'd slide over into a guardrail potentially over a cliff like it's good that it doesn't snow here because people do not build roads and things to compensate for that it's crazy if it snowed in la people would die oh yeah all over the place in ohio we have nothing compared to minnesota minnesota's got it so much better than even we have in ohio so yeah i can imagine if they go to the california like what the hell are you all doing yeah so yeah funny story to bounce off of that again at my mom's house you guys both know my mom's driveway right yeah yeah that's a weird one it's exactly as Bob described it doesn't make any sense but it's a 20 like a 15 percent

incline probably going down for Ohio it's pretty steep and it goes down so that means when you're down at the bottom and if it snows beforehand you got to go back up uh to get out so it's like a regular thing it was actually so nice because i just went back home for a little bit for my mom's documentary and i got to see the first snow of this season i was there for the first snow and it was beautiful but it also reminded me of the times when me and my brother would take turns going out and shoveling it and there was a particularly dicey winter where like it did freezing rain and it put this thick layer of ice down on the driveway. And so me and my brother go out there and we shovel off the snow and it's bad

because you shovel off the snow. It's all crusty. And then you reveal the layer of ice and you start slipping on that because the snow is your only bit of grit. And so we put the salt down and all that stuff and we go, mom, we got it. We did it. That's good. And so she was going to go get groceries and apparently it melted and then refroze everything. Oh, God. Because when she went out there, we heard the car start, her start to go. And then as she got partway up and, you know, that brick wall next to the. Yes.

She started sliding down. And then it was the most comical because it was a long screech and then you hear a she hit the trash cans at the bottom so yeah no it's not good to build things like that in places where it even snows a little bit but yeah that's amazing how have we had so few christmases said this whole episode why does this always happen to me yeah that happened once where it did it was just like was a sheet of ice over snow where you didn't even break through the ice if you walked on it you just walked on a sheet of ice with nothing you know it's powdery snow under it and i had to walk to school because it wasn't a

snow day somehow oh yeah and like the roads were kind of plowed and salted and stuff but the sidewalks nothing it went it did it overnight and then it like woke up in the morning fully iced over no one even had time to shovel and i was like it took me like three times as long to get to school as it should have it was kind of funny but it was very treacherous but to circle back to your actual question wayne having grown up where it's pretty cold in the winter time even if it doesn't always snow very nicely it doesn't really feel like christmas or even like fall and then winter to me out here in california even though northern

california gets cooled last night it got down to like just above 40 which is you know cold it's pretty down there not exactly winter weather but cold it doesn't feel right it's just starting to feel like fall to me getting down into the 40s is like and that's fahrenheit for any of you people use the wrong units of measurement that's like fall weather like we used to have football games on friday nights where it was like 43 degrees outside and you're out there freezing your ass off you know doing marching band and whatever trying to keep warm so it never really feels like winter here and it never really feels like christmas season here because it doesn't get cold it doesn't get cold and miserable and windy and disgusting there's no brown slush everywhere

to make my house and car floor mats look disgusting it's wrong i know it doesn't feel it's terrible i hate it i miss the poop slush yeah winter isn't my favorite season but i like it it's probably second favorite. You know, but fall is my most favorite. Like that's when I know things are changing. And when I went up to, I believe it was Wisconsin in fall and I got to see the leaves change, I realized how much I missed that. It's not like there aren't trees that change here in California because there are depending on where you go, like two hours away in California, you can get to the snow mountains and whatnot. But here, like it's so stagnant. That's kind of the thing. It's it's quote nice all year round. It gets really hot in the summer. It's not nice all year round in the fire. The fires are

kind of a problem nowadays, but you don't see things change. I am a creature of change. I need change. I need to see that change in my environment. I need to feel like the world is moving. And I think that's why I sometimes get really antsy and I don't realize it is because I'm not seeing the world change around me. And I'm not seeing these seasons which tell like the progress of time and like, oh shit, you know, now it's winter. Oh, the spring is here. You know, you get these ebbs and flows and it's like, it's like if you lived your entire life in air conditioning at exactly 72 degrees constantly, which a lot of people do. You don't get the variability. You don't feel warm.

You don't feel cold. You feel stagnant. It's just like, that's kind of the same thing. So it's always fall that leads into like, oh shit, the year is almost ending. Yeah. I need to hurry up and get shit done. Christmas is almost here.

How did it get here so soon? Yeah, I need that. Very accurate. I feel that. Yeah. I'm going to speak for Wade for a second and just say, well, you know, if you want seasons, we got them in cincinnati thank you so you just move back to ohio you get all the

shitty seasons you want and three weeks of good summer so you still get that taste of the west coast you know just come please come i'm so sad please move back thank you that's exactly right is that the right tone of plea bargaining yes did it work no okay no i can't believe i didn't convince me well it was a valiant effort i guess do better next time that's what i tell myself um well we're at that point where i think this is probably a good good button good time just to wrap up we went pretty long do you guys ready for the big reveal uh i already know i feel pretty confident in my golf oh do you i feel i'm pretty sure lowest less points is good more points seems bad i don't know what exactly but that's just the vibe i'm getting right now have you figured out

what points were based on i can go through round by round to let you know what happened round one bob lost six points mark lost zero round two Bob lost six points mark lost zero round two Bob lost two points mark lost zero round three you both lost zero round four you both lost two round five mark lost Two Bob lost three round six mark lost one Bob lost two for the total of mark is left with 95 points Bob is at 85 points Yeah, do you know what the gimmick was? Bob is at 85 points. Oh, hell yeah.

Do you know what the gimmick was? Laughing. Laughing. Laughing. That's the thing. I waste all my points on laughing. No. Welcome to secret words part two. But the real gimmick was the only secret word the whole time.

Christmas. You lost a point every time you said the word Christmas. And Mark, in that entire 55 minutes, you said Christmas a total of five times. Way to stay on topic. I'm about the holiday spirit.

I was like, I'll give him 100 points, because I know they're going to say Christmas like 50 times each. Meanwhile, the first three rounds, Mark didn't say it once. Right now, Mark wins. However, early in the episode, I told Bob if he sent me food and it arrived within 30 minutes, I would wipe his slate clean. I got a message about 10 minutes ago saying I had food and it is here. The slate is wiped clean.

Bob is back at 100 points. But is it Bob's doing? Bob, did you do that? I sent Wade a bag of funny chips and a bag of chips I know he likes. Which gets me to the final score right now of 195. Bob wins except he gets

bonus points because he sent me nacho cheese Doritos, which puts him at 133 points. However, Bob also sent me those goddamn Cool Ranch Doritos, and it's a bigger bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, which

pisses me off. So you lose 50 points. What? No, I sent you your favorite Doritos. And the bigger bag of the ones I hate the most. Wade loves Cool Ranch Doritos. Everybody knows that.

You went from 85 to 100 to 133, but then lost 50, which brings you down to, what is that, 83 points? Which means you still lose. Mark wins. I feel like you did that in the wrong order. I feel like you're mad. You got to be mad first about the Doritos, but then you got to reset the slate is the last one in the order of operations globally.

Everyone knows this. If there's a reset, you do that last. This isn't PEMDOS. This is Wade hosting my rules. I feel like you could, you know, I'm happy I won, I guess, but I feel like you could just know i'm happy i won i guess but i feel like you could just like not eat the cool ranch i'm gonna waste a 14.5 ounce bag when you go to a core grocery store and you see the cool ranch Doritos you just start like sweating from the anger that builds inside

there was a time where i did get upset because people used to send them to the p.o box or bring them to conventions and i was given so many damn bags of Cool Ranch Doritos that were going to go to waste because they're the worst thing on this earth. You know what? I have to say, I remember pretty generally where the Cool Ranch Doritos came from. We were doing an improvised Halloween story, right? About the cat scales and all that stuff. It was from that, right? That was at Mark's mom's house, right? We were streaming there. Oh, the cat scales. The that stuff it was from that right that was at mark's mom's house right we were streaming there the cat scales oh my god i forgot about the cat scales go the doritos

weren't your favorite in the story either either though i don't know how they ended up being a thing the doritos are what scared away the werecats yeah oh you put a cool ranch doritos around and the werecats didn't like cool ranch doritos that was how you fended them off that had nothing to do with you eating cool ranch doritos somehow the meme became everyone giving me cool ranch doritos it was probably your two's fault and for reminding me of all of that bob i'm sticking with the you lose 50 points it was a friendly joke and I sent you the good ones to make up for it. I gave you 33 points.

Hey, if you'd given me the bigger bag of the good ones, that would have been a plus 50 and a minus 33, but you swapped it wrong. I hope someone's writing down all of Wade's arbitrary point rules, because if we actually learn them, we can really play a system down the road. It changes every episode. Do you think I'm consistent?

Next episode, Mark sends a pallet of Doritos to Wade. And specifically, it was on this episode system down the road it changes every episode do you think i'm consistent next next episode mark sends a pallet of doritos to win and specifically it was on this episode i said if he sent me food i would reset his slate clean and no i thought i had it in a bag on that one i mean i didn't think you'd expect me to send you food at all well it was supposed to be good food and you did so i gave you what was that i gave you you went from 85 to 100. So you got 15. Then you got 33 for sending me the one I like. And then a minus 50 for bringing back the goddamn cool ranch. I think that's pretty fair.

I think it's messed up, man. I gotta be honest. That seems pretty messed up. I gave you a 48 free points. I did exactly what you asked. You didn't say I had to send you good food. I could have sent you like tacos or something, which would have been, you know, just garbage for you to throw away. I reset the slate, as I promised,

and then I gave you bonus points for sending me something I liked, but you sent me something bigger that I dislike. If you would have done nothing at all, you would have two more points than you do now. Do you not see the logic here? Well, that was money well spent. Thank you.

Well, at least now, whenever you visit, I'll have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos you can eat. Dude, I love Cool Ranch Doritos. I wish I had sent those to myself. And they fend off werecats. at least now whenever you visit i'll have a bag of cool ranch doritos you can eat dude i love cool ranch doritos i wish i sent those to myself and they fend off werecats they'll be here waiting for you wait i'm if i'm the king of the werecats does that mean i'm fended off by gores or my immune because i'm royalty i don't know check the reddit lore they'll tell us yeah tell yeah tell us reddit somehow despite barely participating and only earning a negative five points mark wins apparently i had a horrible system horrible points merry christmas everybody

god damn it mark what are you the uncle who shows up late to the christmas party and hates everyone in his family i feel like invited me i just knew this was happening so i just came of my own accord i brought you a gift and some delicious crudités merry christmas everybody god damn it i feel like that is accurately me right now yeah do we do winner's speech or loser's speech you know what bob loser's speech go i feel like i contributed quite a bit in a very positive way and i also sent you some delicious treats and you could have just chosen to ignore the cool ranch and had a had a chuckle and then you know let that go but i could have you know i'm not going to hold it against you that your pettiness about a very funny classic joke between the three of us uh set you off and i'm sorry that you're so sensitive so i'll accept the loss uh but i feel like i performed better than my result

would suggest i feel like you like losing more than winning anyways i feel like i did you a favor what did you a favor. What did you want? We're getting older part four next week? You're welcome. I saved us. Damn. Oh, man.

Man, you're really going after Bob. I'm just going to sit here in silence and hope I don't get any. No, you're not. It's winner's speech time. You speak now. Good luck. All right. I wagered everything at the beginning, and I think that's what got me over the edge.

Actually, I have a funny feeling. My initial compliment in the opening five seconds of this episode towards Wade is what made me win today. And I feel like that if I trace back everything to that moment, I really thought ahead of myself. And plus, Bob, you wanted to lose points. So it's fate playing out as it should be. You were trying to lose points early on too. That's true.

Yeah, maybe I got exactly what I wanted and just pretending like I didn't. Merry Christmas, boys. Merry Christmas. God damn it. And Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa to all of you out there.

Whatever holiday. You know, I had a whole topic about other holidays, but I guess it makes sense that in America, we somehow still don't get that even in the podcast. So Christmas it is. Yay. On behalf of Distractible, be safe, be smart. Have a good holiday season. We'll see you all next week as usual, because we don't take a week off.

Anything final you guys want to add before I wrap this thing up? Nope. I really took a downturn on the tone there. Oh. You can... Okay. Ho, ho, ho, everything is great. Hope you all have good holidays.

Follow us in all the places. Marks Markiplier, I'm Minion777 Bob's Lord Mark Markskirm let me try that again Bob is my skirm Mark is Markiplier

I'm Lord Minion777 we have merch for the podcast you can find it at store.destructiblepodcast.com we'll see you all next week. Until then, podcast out!