Distractible - Everybody Hates Dor

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.) Reserve your ticket now at ironlung.com. Only in theaters January 30, 2026. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, warbling George Wade, takes a break, devours Grisham, drops mask, and talks hacks. Bingo Ringo Bob rations, epithets, micromarathons, and potty trains his preferred progeny, lex cat butts, and chase his tail. Maticulous John Mark releases his legendary film beats, has imposter syndrome, learns logistics jenga and rejects reels from multiple marks to ass extractions. Yes, it's time for Everybody Hates Door. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. If this is your first time joining us, then truly, welcome. If you've come back, I only ask, why. Join as always by my co-host, Mark and Bob. Hey guys. Hello, I'm Mark. Just want to be clear about that. I know we look the same. Same height and all. I'm Mark. That's Bob. No, I'm Mark. That's Bob. Ah, it's going to confuse everybody. We sound the same. We sound so much alike. Yeah, yeah, I know, right? I don't know which is which. I'm Wade. Wade. Wade, bald. Easy to remember. If you're just listening, you can probably hear the bald.

You can actually. The subtle reverberation back in the room off your head, back and off. It has to do with the way your head resonates when you speak. You're like a nicely leather finished resonance box with the hair on our heads just tamps down our, you know, overtones and just dulls our voices, really. Really ruining the res. You know, Krillin from Dragon Ball said that it helped unfetter his cheese. And then he grew hair later on

Yeah, well, he was just shaving himself Bald, he wasn't actually bald He was a wannabe Not all of us can be a pure bread We have not been in a call We did the one-man show Where we kind of jumped right into it We've not done like a normal episode

Where we've gotten to talk And just like catch up Small talk like I don't know what you guys have been doing I feel like Mark's probably been doing nothing For the last month Bob you and I've been probably pretty busy Final stretch Final stretch

Stretching's good for you Yeah, final stretch. This is the one. This is the one. Final Stretch was in Alpha and then it was in beta. Now Final Stretch is approaching 1.0. It was just early access Final Stretch. Well, what's fun about today when this episode comes out, I believe this is for Monday.

Yeah, this is the Monday before. Today actually is the day the soundtrack releases. Ooh. So right now, people can go listen to the soundtrack for Iron Lung if they want to get a little taste. On like streamers and stuff, like like on Spotify. Yeah.

So just in case people want to listen after the podcast, afterwards. Same time. Give as many devices as you can and have one more playing the podcast than you have playing the soundtrack. But there's actually a rumor that if you play the soundtrack while you play this episode, they line up just like a dark side of the moon and Wizard of Oz. At 28 minutes in, the devil actually says in backwards language,

Mark is dead. Because you're our John Lennon, obviously. Waits McCartney and I'm Ringo. Everybody knows. Oh, you could be the drummer? All right, I'll take it. Yes, Ringo is the much more popular beetle. I win.

Well, I know he's not, but like he should be. He was barely talented. Underrated. Does I make Amy Yoko Ono? Because I feel like you should feel bad about that. I don't follow the whole interpersonal drama so much. Yoko Ono was actually pretty talented. The stuff that she did around the time when people really noticed her,

when she was getting more famous. It's not my favorite. But she also made like other really like good music and like... Oh really? I don't know a thing about it. It's not the clips that people pick out of her doing like weirder stuff.

That's all more out there stuff. But she made some really, she's actually really talented. Underrated, she gets a bad rap. Who's George? I think that's the name of the guitar that plays itself in the background. Wade, you're George.

But I'm Paul. No. But your actual name is George. George Paul McCartney Harrison Ford. George Paul McCartney Harrison Ford. How dare you put my full legal name out there. You know what people are going to do with that information? Your social security card is a nightmare.

Tell you what. Actually, we had that situation with Lixian because Portuguese infamously have very long names. I don't know if infamously, but they have multiple middle names, basically. Regular famously? So his name was so long when we get to the security at Warner Brothers. They were like, I can't find you. You're not in here. Well, he's got to be on the list.

Let me call someone. I circled around, pulled off to the side, slowly crept back up being like a, we haven't pleased. He's like, oh, he should be on there. He gets there's like, yeah, yeah, no. Where are you going? Okay, yeah, we have someone by the name of Luis Costa, but not a Costa. That's it. Not to say his full name out there and release that information to the public.

Luis Costa, Paul McCartney, John Harris. Harrison. Yeah, he read out the full name, like, Louis, middle name, middle name, cost, and your Louis, middle name, middle name cost. Ah, and didn't Picasso have like a ridiculously long name too? Pablo, ah, my ear, Picasso. Yeah. But in Spanish. Maybe it's like, you know, Spain, Portugal, they're right next to each other, so they must maybe have similar customs. Names? Pablo Diego, Jose, Francisco de Paula Juan Neppo, Mukeno, Maria de los Remedios, Sipriano de la Santissimo, Trinidad, Ruisi, Picasso. Jeez, leave some for the rest of us.

What the fuck? Damn, that could be like eight people. Yeah, when do we start rationing names? Was that in the 90s? Overpopulated. Please, sir, can I have some middle initial? I just want to name my daughter, Dorothy. We don't even want to have a last name.

I can give you door. Dad, just because there's a story, doesn't mean I like my name. Why did you call me door? Give you door and a hyphen. Just talk to your brother. Jam. You guys are a pair. I know Mandy and I are not going to name our daughter, Dorothy. Don't worry, Chad. Also, we don't have a daughter. That's a hypothetical daughter.

Do you have a secret daughter that we've never known about? No. Man, that would really prove some favoritism going on. If you keep going on about your son and all these stories about your son, it's like, oh, yeah, also. There's a daughter somewhere in there. James is so great. James, James, James, guys, we can count on the number of times we've heard James? What about Dor? Oh, no.

We'll go back and be like, oh, my God, he's been saying. door all along and we thought he just really into hardware. Oh my God. Door wouldn't shut up last night. Man, this dude's doors talk a lot. What the hell? At 26 minutes when we play James backwards, it's actually Doors the favorite.

Well, that's going to start some funny rumors. What were we talking about? Oh, long names. That's right. I think this was the small talk portion. Mark was talking about his final stretch and we've gotten to Dorothy somehow from there. I mean, I kind of jumped in. I don't know if we got through the intro. I actually don't remember the last time we'd gotten together before a one-man show.

It was, was it even this year? Yeah, we got together like the fifth or something. I don't know, like a couple weeks ago. But hey, it's all done now, officially. I mean, in a week, the movie's going to be out. People will realize that I'm a giant fraud, and they'll laugh when this. Oh, fraud. I think they said frog.

I was like, what a weird thing to think. Don't spoil the movie, man. Come on, man, not again. Do you feel like, Bob and I were talking about this a little bit while you were gone? Do you feel like the pressure's off, or do you think of, wait till the movie's actually out for people to see before the pressure. I feel like it's off. Oh, pressure's done.

Pressure's way off now. All right, Bob wins. I'm better friends with Mark. I know how he feels. Yeah, well, all my pressure was on until I liked it, right? Because that's always, always is for me in projects. It's like I get really stressed when if it's not where I think it should be. And that's what gets me iffy about it.

But it was, it's already been where I wanted to be. This was just polish and finding all the missing pieces that fall through the cracks. Of which there are a lot. There's a lot. There's a lot of those things. I could talk about them if you want to know more. Floor is open. We've not been together in a while, so whatever, man.

I do have small talk, but it's not that interesting. Why don't you go first? Well, as of the airing of this episode, I fucking better have walked a full marathon so far this year. As of right now, I am averaging more than one mile per day in 2026. I have had one day where I was really busy and I ended up just not doing one, but I've had multiple days where I've just walked a couple. So I'm ahead of the game. But yeah, I'm actually both Mandy and I, Mandy's way more ahead than I am.

Mandy has like seven or eight extra miles at this point. Like she's been doing a couple miles a lot of the days. I'm sticking to the 365 miles in 2026. It feels good. I feel like I'm getting to the point. I'm almost on the other side of the, uh, it's, sucks, everything hurts, I hate this, and getting to the like, I'm starting to feel better every time I go walk now. It's like, ah, nice. Oh yeah. That's awesome. That's great, man.

That's kind of my only big update. Oh, James is, well, it's not fair to say this. James is almost potty trained. James is wearing big boy underpants. So that's pretty big. That's huge. And he went a whole day yesterday with no accidents or anything. He's using the potty like a real dude. He pisses everywhere. How about door? Door sucks. I don't want to. to talk about that. Don't you ever mention door again? For time in the background, like your door is opened, you know, where it's mysteriously opened, we all thought it was just the wind.

Little did we know. Our secret is out. I guess before Mark goes, do I have anything interesting? No. Mark, talk about the movie. Oh, okay. No, wait, I'll, you may proceed. Molly just had her birthday.

We ran around. I've been reading. So I took four days off. I've not taken like actual time off where I haven't like at least recorded YouTube videos. I took an actual four days off. And I read three books. It was like 1,470 pages of books. I read two John Grisham novels and I read Project Hail Mary, which is now becoming a...

Oh, Project Hail Mary. I've heard of that one, yeah. Andy Weir, the writer of The Martian. I've not read that one. That one's on my list to read soon. Reading the book, I 100% agree with the casting of Ryan Gosling as like the lead actor. Like I felt him in that role as I was reading the books. I think that was a perfect casting for the movie, so I'm hoping the movie's really good.

I hope the movie's good. Yeah, but really enjoyed those books. I just started Runaway Jury. I finished The Firm and Pelican Brief. Oh, sure, classics. I just figured I'd go back and read from the start. I didn't read a time to kill because I've read that one a bunch, so kind of that one's still in my memory, but...

You should read Airframe. I don't have that one. I want to get the exchange, which is like a Mitch McDierry sequel to the firm, and then I just got two more, I can't remember the names of. They were two more recent. The ones I read before came out like the early 90s, So it was like, this guy's advanced. He has a car phone.

And then he received a very threatening page. Oh, the mail. It's like the way they were tracking things. It's like, how can they ever get a hold of him without a tracker? It's not like he has any kind of technology on him. And it's like, man, this is going to change in 20 years. Also, some of these books go into like traveling through air and stuff. And it's pre-9-11.

So it's interesting here in like the airport experience and like pre-9-9-11 written books because it's just a very different feeling and world. But they were really good. I read a lot, enjoyed that, enjoyed my time off, caught up on, I forget what shows. I've been watching Fallout,

finished Stranger Things. I've not watched the Critical Role new one, Mighty Nine. I've not watched that yet. It's on my list. Watch all of Welcome to Dairy. I don't know just enjoyed some time off. And we went to Soto last night,

which is my favorite, if not my favorite restaurant. Have you been there? I didn't think you've been there yet. Yeah, yeah, we went like when Amy and I got married, we went there.

Oh, no, it was it before we did that? I don't think we went during our wedding trip. Maybe we did. It was very good. It really was. And reasonably priced. It is.

I got some extra Capalachi and I had that for lunch today. Actually, it was really good. So, no, other than being cold, that being the one downside, it's been a pretty great start to the year. So now my turn. Everybody shut up. It's time for me to talk about the one thing that I'll never be able to talk about it after this. I can't wait for that. When's the behind the scenes doc coming out?

Because I'm here for that, too. Well, man, we should have been filming so much more of it After during the editing phase We really should have, but we didn't However, it's finally coming out on Friday, not a joke They're going to do reshoots to get behind the scenes footage We're going to reenact them Yeah

Could do that It could be fun, could be fun You could cast someone taller to play you in the reenactments Or shorter so you can feel better There's a lot of steps to movies that, you know, people aren't aware of Right film sell. And that it? Right film sell. That's probably what most people think there is. Click upload to YouTube. Boom, it's a movie.

Dick upload to YouTube? Click, but dick uploads a whole different thing. No, click upload. On order to promote your movie, you got to have a sex scandal. I'm saying it's not that easy. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's just a lot of logistics. And so it's the same with like, you know, doing the distribution. It's totally possible to do it independently. It's just like it's just a lot of work.

And the less people you have, the more work there is to do on an individual level. And no, it's not as easy as just hiring other people for it. Because imagine there's a good allegory with the editing portion of it. When we're a few years into a project and I was to bring on someone completely new who had no idea what the hell was going on or what we've already done in the past or where we've ever been. And that's just like in small scale with the distribution. So when we get to this point where I have Lixian and Sam were both in to help out with this last part, which was the absolute. finalization of the sound mix because number one, we were doing an atmost mix or we had theoretically we're like doing an utmost mix. But now we really had to get the utmost mix dialed in because

originally with the independent theaters, not a lot of them have like at most rooms, things like that. And so now it's going to a big one. You got to really refine it. So we were doing that while finalizing all that stuff. And then catching up on all the last little VFX bits that happen. And the problem is like if you may, and this is probably not for every movie, but because this one is so interconnected with like the location of where you are and the numbers that show up on the console and unless you just want all that to be nonsense and I don't. Anytime you make like a little tweak like I'm going to steal this shot and move it there and there and bah, it's like a janga tower, right? You pull out that piece and all of a sudden he's in a different spot and

oh god and what and so we have to go back and once we're finalized we had to go in and manually like make sure all the numbers were correct. Oh, geez. You had like five lines on Premiere Pro, right? Batman. Lines. Would you have like 80 cuts? 85?

It's where I, again, sing the praises of DaVinci Resolve. And yes, it sounds like I'm a show, but I think everybody should go to DaVinci because being able to just go from there to one page infusion and do the special effects, from the rotoscoping to the tracking, to the putting, in there to the compositing to all of that in one page it was immense but we had to get like

80 of them done and so it was just me lexie and sam while i'm like looking up at the sound and being like yeah it's good brand i got my AirPods with like noise cancellation and he's asking me questions like is that good i'm like oh all right and i mean he's he's been working on it for two years so he's mostly just putting things where they need to be you know getting all the effects right making sure everything's balanced making sure things are working in the surrounds is a lot of like little tiny things to do because he has thousands of tracks that guy has over

a thousand tracks almost all of them filled with sounds at some point to be able to move all of them that's why any time you make a little tweak everything comes tumbling down you got to put it all back together I do think that there are some more

efficiencies to be had in the future again DaVinci has an audio section as well where it's called Fairlight but in the industry Fairlight is not really smiled upon. It's more kind of made fun of. And I think that's unfair, even though I've never used it. And every time I've used it as it's crashed the entire software immediately.

It sounds fine. Then again, he was going through crashes like nonstop. It was, I saw like every once in a while, his whole system would just go, all the lights would go down. He's like, I'm motherfucker. Jesus. On a full professional setup in a, in a route. I would assume that's one of the things you eliminate when you get.

you know, I can't even imagine how expensive of a room and equipment all set up for that exact purpose. It does sound like a nightmare, but these things, I guess everything just crashes at some point. Even my software crashes. If I'm editing on my MacBook and the little rainbow wheel pops up for like 20 seconds, I'm like, I'm never making anything again. Fuck then. No, man. I've gone through the funniest crashes sometimes that just turn your entire screen inverted colors for some reason.

Something went horrible with the graphics cards. Ha ha, funny. And then I've had crashes there just like, hey, you're using 200% of your system's memory. And I'm like, how? How the fuck are you doing that? Overclocking. Yeah, memory's expensive these days. How are you doing it?

I do have a question before I forget. I assume films aren't still put on film reels and then sent on giant circles to thousands of theaters. So what does the process of actually getting the movie to the theaters look like? You send a file, right? It's called DCP, and you package up your entire movie in that with all the audio formats. You have one default, and then you have the other ones. And then it sends it up to some big server, and they pull the movie out. And it's tied specifically to those theaters and those projectors so that, you know, they can all have a secure version of the movie to play.

And then blah, blah, blah. Okay. And they play it out. Yeah. Do you get to have at least one giant actual film reel? No, because you'd have to put it on film. and it's a digitally shot movie. You could do that if you really wanted to, I suppose.

It's your first movie. You should do it, just hanging on your wall. That way you have something else to do now that you're bored. I don't want to have film. I am not a, I've never shot film, so I have no nostalgia for it. I cannot imagine operating under the limitations of film. It would be the most frustrating thing possible. Like every time you wanted to butter your bread, you had to churn it with a wooden thing of a bob before you're able to enjoy your bread.

When did they switch away from film? I mean, they're still doing it. Like, you talk about the giant reels. Is IMAX digital or is IMAX still film? IMAX is film, yeah. Yeah. They have not yet made a sensor as big as an IMAX film thing. Sell or whatever frame.

But they're getting close. They are getting close. And honestly, like, there is something to be said about that big image. And it's like, it's very cool and all the detail. You'd have to get something equivalent to like 24K resolution to get close to the amount of detail. It can put out. It's it is impressive, but the, the cumbersome nature of it, like, is, it's like, you know, you don't need to do that for most 99% of stories out there.

And I think that anyone that's like, you absolutely have to work with film, if you want to call yourself a filmmaker, I just like, I don't know about that. Can you imagine if I had a cut? But you do IMAX and Omnamax. Iron Lung and Omnamax. Omnamax. Which one's the Omnamax? Isn't it like the big theater?

That's the big, like, dome screen theater where, like, it's. It's the one in the Cincinnati Museum Yeah, yeah Like come on an adventure with us It's just blood and whatever Is on the planet Whatever's on the planet That's a moon, it's a moon, thank you

Hey, you know your stuff You've been working on this a while haven't you? Yeah, a little bit new Anyway, that's it We did a lot of the Oh wait, have you seen Have you held a real popcorn bucket? No, I haven't

They must be in production by now, right? They must be like Actually, I had it a conversation with them because they were behind because they got to it late. So they were like, we're not going to have enough to do right there. So we'll do pre-orders. And I was like, oh, well, that's not good because then people won't have it. So I said, what if we release the 3D print file and everyone can print their own buckets?

And if they wanted to paint it, they could. If, you know, it's up to them. But if they bring a printed bucket to a theater, Regal is the one who is partnering with this, they get free popcorn, free small popcorn. but they get, you know, they could get free small popcorn. And then, like, the actual model of the popcorn bucket would be out for everyone available there. And then they would still be able to sell, like, the fully painted handmade, or not handmade, but, you know, hand-painted official ones. But then everyone could have their own if they really wanted to.

That would be pretty sick. And I'm able to do that because Molly made the model for the bucket. Bless my wife, who didn't do that. Artist Molly. Molly Brown. You claim. And yet every time you mean to text her, Molly gets a coupon for a free ride somewhere. She never knows where she's going, but that drive's always coming to pick her up.

So anyway, yeah, that's it. So this will be the end of movie talk for quite some time. Well, that can't be true. We're going to talk about after it comes out when we see it. We saw it, but we saw a two year ago edition, year and a half ago, whatever it was edition. So it's probably pretty similar. I mean, it's in an ocean to blood still. It's just going to be like Comic Sans font now is the big change. I did that for a second on some temporary stuff and people, I got a email from someone that was like, I don't mean to be out of place here, Mark, but maybe a different font choice would be for the best.

That's really funny. I don't know what else to talk about. I feel like we've kind of been along on this journey for so long. Like, what's next? What will Mark do? What's the next movie? Is it already being worked on? No, not really.

I don't have anything. Steel kidney? Steel kidney. Good idea. Go 50-50 on it? Yes. It's already more than zero, so yes. Yeah, okay.

All right then. Now, yeah, I'm going to stick to YouTube for a bit and just relax. I do that all my life. I really am. Like, it's wild that, like, I still go to, like, the Milford Cinema quite often. Because just nostalgia, it's, like, you know, the place we went growing up. To think that, like, I don't know, it's weird. Of all the places your face is going to be soon, to be,

to be like in a theater where it's like, oh, we're going to go watch the movie stars and these great movies and crazy things. It's like, you've made something that's going to be played on one of those screens. It's a wild thought. I mean, it's more than I thought it would ever be. So this has already been the shock of that, thankfully, is kind of passed a little bit. And now I just get to get to enjoy it. I love the fans because they're so funny sometimes because there's a lot of them. I see poster real as well.

Like, now, now, guys, everyone, please don't get your hopes up. He's a first time filmmaker. You know, not everyone's the first opportunity. He's going to be that great. You know, he's a real mid-actor. We just got to support him. We just got to support him. Think 1970s Incredible Hulk.

Not 2020 Endgame, you know? I'm like, thanks, kidding. We got some claymation Godzilla coming in. They know how to conserve their faith. Movie stars. It's just Mark holding like a toy submarine. It doesn't. I mean, it does, that does happen on the distractible subreddit sometimes.

But man, I have never seen a subreddit quite like R slash market supplier filled with people who you can tell are just genuinely trying to be as nice as they possibly can be. And are just chucking spears right at your heart with every sentence they type. I really do think you mean to be nice, but please, please stop. Nah, it's fine. I wouldn't have it any other way because this keeps. their expectations really low so that when I surpass them, they'll be like, I can't wait. Oh, man.

The opening's going to grab them by the fucking balls. Are you doing like a late night tour over anything? Like don't people go around and promote stuff after it's come out? Are you doing that? Yes. So I have like a bazillion interviews this week. Oh, hell. I have to be at the first one at the Chinese theater on the 27th.

And then I have a Q&A one at a Regal on the 28th. And then I'm hoping to get to Cincinnati for some of the opening weekend ones. That would be very fun. That's exciting. That would be very nice. Haven't been back in a bit. Miss Christmas, but it's weird.

I came back home after it was like when I finally was like, oh, fuck, it's done. Like, and I just laid on the couch. I cried. Like,

I cried like you wouldn't believe. Just the stress, just leaving my body. It was nuts. I didn't even realize I'd been holding on to it that hard. I'd been like 30 minutes. I just cried. And it was.

And I felt so just light afterwards. Oh, it was nice. Yeah, no, there's definitely been some moments of like tension we've seen. I'm sure you've bottled up even more than that. I can't imagine what this amount of pressure would feel like and also finally getting to relieve it. That's way more than I could imagine going through.

Yeah. I mean, I would have been fine if it was just the 60 to 100. That would be totally fun. And now, now it's more. And that's just really cool. I hope it opens up doors, not just for me, but for other creators out there. I think that it's a really cool opportunity that a lot of people are rallying around. and then just, yeah.

I don't mean to be a spear hurler. Okay, hurl me. Actually, it's not you. I think that you in space with who killed Markiplier, with Ais, with all those things. I think you've been innovative, you've been creative, you've done amazing and new and interesting things.

I think a lot of creators are more like me and take like the laziest path possible once they get like a chance to make something. I think that opening more doors for you could lead to some really cool stuff. There's some other creators that could also do some amazing things, But I feel like there's definitely going to be some subpar stuff that would come out of that sphere because not everybody has the drive and the passion that you do.

In this industry, a lot of people are creative, which is amazing. But there's a mixture of people. There's people that are in it just for the money. There's people that are in it just for the creative side. There's people that are in it for some mix of both and probably other motivations that I'm not even thinking of right now. So I hope more people like you come out and make amazing things. But I do think that there's going to be a lot of subpar stuff from people that have a platform, but don't put in the kind of effort and work and passion that you do. Oh, well, I mean, thank you for your faith of me.

And I do know, yeah, there probably are going to be some real shit video game adaptations after this. I got a funny feeling. Not saying, not naming any names. Every video game movie's been great before now. So I can't imagine. Yeah. But I think there actually will be, it'll be a mixed bag, right? But I think overall, just as a trend, there's huge opportunities for these not to cost.

I've said that for a while now. It's not to cost a billion dollars to make a movie. I think that there is a market to have, you know, the low budget, under a million dollar budget movies in theaters for people to see. I think that's fun. I think that there's plenty of opportunity for that. And I hope to see more of it. Even a shitty movie I would love to go see.

I kind of like to see bad movies every once in a while. It doesn't have to be cats where it's like already a $300 million movie and it's also bad, you know, we don't need that. We can have a $500,000 bad movie, but people go see it. I saw people that were comparing cats to your meow video and giving your meow video the higher rating between the two. I thought you're going to say put butt holes on them or something like that.

Didn't they have to edit up the butthole in cats? Why were their buttholes to be? Wouldn't they've had to edit them in? Were they naked? Anatomical correctness, Wade. Cats have buttholes. Even giant humanoid human-sized cats. I just assumed those were CGI. They could choose whether or not

to make the buttholes. What do you think they're licking down there? Dessert? I don't know. It is dessert. Buthole dessert. It's actually what we call Lexi. What whole dessert? What do we say about potting on the floor?

You know what the horrible thing about that was, and now that I've done more VFX myself, is they didn't have any of the actors wearing, like, tracking suits. What were they... Wait, I assumed... What were they wearing? Normal clothes, which is almost im fucking possible to track on because it's moving and rippling.

I thought they'd be, like, full suit, green dots or whatever. I thought they'd have the whole... You'd think, but the... director who had very little experience in VFX was like, nah, I don't want them getting distracted with these suits. That makes me sad. It is very sad. That's almost funnier. So for like people outside the industry, which I'm including myself in, like when you see the footage of like a Marvel movie and you see it's like a huge fucking blue everything on there standing on blue boulders and like Ironman is just covered in tracking dot and all this shit. And like the only one.

who's not covered in blue and dots and shit is like Chris Evans because Captain America just is a guy and you see them behind and they're like acting and you're like ha that was that'd be so silly that must be hard it would be way way fucking funnier if it's just a room full of normal looking people wearing normal clothes but they're all like I'm a cat I'm a big fucking cat I honestly like I would have loved to watch that you need a little bit of suspension of reality to be a human cat, not With like Thanos or one of the other big bad guys Not only did they have the tracking stuff

Didn't they have like just a little rod With like a thing on it. They're like This is where you look to look into my face. Yeah, for a line of sight They have like extensions or whatever Because you need all the line of sites To line up correctly. So you're not even looking at the actor's face

While you're like yelling at them You're looking at like something floating above their head. Oh, I might be wrong about that. Oh wait, no. I might be I might have been misled I might have been got. It looks like they did have subtracking suits. My bad. I like Mark's version better.

Where did I hear that? I blame corridor for that one. I'm going to throw a corridor under the bus for that one. I'm following this just chit-chat about anything else. Anything like current event, why does you guys want to talk about? Oh, nothing's been happening in the world worth talking about. No, it's been pretty boring, I think. I've been walking around like this, but I'm pretty sure it's all boring and everything's fine.

Oh, I've been walking around like this, you know. You got to be careful, though. Stuff above you is not what. what you want to be looking at. You should wear hats. No, I squint really hard. I just do not watch the news. You hear some of the big things, but it's not good.

Video game wise, uh, oh, I did have some video game stuff I want to talk about. I forgot what it was though. There's a lot of Pokemon fan games, right? And I saw a ROM hack recently. I don't know how new or old it is, but I think it was called like Pokemon All In and everything in the game is gambling. Like you can't catch Pokemon. You earn and gamble for coins to go to a,

like a one of those little gumball type machines and you put your tokens in and a random Pokemon pops out and that's the one you're stuck with and whatever all the items like potions and stuff you can't buy them you got to go get them in a casino there's lone sharks like it's an entire just gambling experience then you go fight so you can get more money to buy gambling free real life free in game all gambling yeah well you know that's where the world's moving towards you mean surprise mechanics god I love surprise mechanics. Surprise mechanics. Is that what they're calling in nowadays? It's what they've been called since they were surprise mechanics in Battlefield 2. I thought I had a video game I wanted to talk about,

but, oh, Hightail. You guys have any interest in Hightail? Yes, but I have not played it or seen it. It's what was originally the Minecraft mod called High Pixel, I think. It was like they decided to make it its own game. It's unrelated to Minecraft, but it's a similar, like, it's based the block-based crafting game. But then, like development died and it got sold to got sold to riot games and then they like killed it and it was just shelved and then at some point the original developers got the rights back they bought it back from riot

it just came out in like early access uh like i don't know last a week ago or something like that but like it's like it's like it's like it feels like like Minecraft 2.0 it's different it's markedly different it's not just like a copycat copycat but i've played a little bit of it and it's fascinating And it was like nostalgic but fresh in that way where it's like it captures the Minecraft thing. But I was having a lot of fun with it, which I haven't played a solo survival game ever since I spent time in Minecraft messing around.

So is it solo? You can play multiplayer, but I just started my own world and was just messing around and playing solo. And like I didn't even try and get anyone to play. I was like happy to play by myself, which I thought was super interesting. But given our personal history with Minecraft and general. connection to it. I just feel like, I mean, maybe we should play it together and see if it's fun, but also, I was curious if you guys know about it or if you try it, let me know, because I'm curious how you, how you like it. I heard if Minecraft was made like in 2025, it would be like

what it looks like or whatever else. Like those are the things I've heard, but nothing specific. I know it's still very early access. Yeah, it's not, it's just early access. It's not even on like Steam or anything. You have to go to their website and like buy an early backers edition and they let you download the launcher and stuff all directly from them. Kind of like how original Minecraft was, I guess. I mean, that's kind of what feels, honestly. Like, it feels, it does feel like if Minecraft just came out this year instead of in 2009 or whatever. But it's interesting.

We have a lot of connections to that game between the three of us. You guys like factory builders, right? Like satisfactory and factory stuff. Sure, sure. I've not done much of it, but there's one called Alchemy Factory, where it's like you're a shop owner and you're making like health potions and stuff and you have to like build a factory to make those and then like you have ways of getting them to the shelves or people come and buy them and then there was one that just came out in early access called star rupture which is kind of like satisfactory but a heavier focus on fighting i thought those might be interesting games it could be fun i guess uh i got really into satisfactory i guess three of us played i don't remember playing with you guys sorry but i don't but i played it with molly a whole bunch and we got very deep into it and i had a very very intricate factory and it got to the point where i had to like re-optimize everything at the very end game I just couldn't bring myself to do it so I never finished it but I got super into like the factory building stuff and trying to like min-max and make

sure like you have the right amount of smelters to miners to you know distributions that you're using all your resources efficiently I think that's fun it can be very tedious and taxing but it's very fun it doesn't sound like either if you would enjoy playing those games with me but I do like them in my own special way does that mean I like to make nightmares I've I've talked to you guys about, um, what's it called game it out or whatever, let's game it out. Oh yeah, I think I remember that. Who just makes like, uh, you know, pushes things to the limits and makes crazy. That's how I play those sort of games. I still find them very fun, but I don't play them efficiently and I make a scary bullshit that never works quite right and looks ridiculous. That's fun too, but like I said, once you get to

the end game and you have to like, you've got 18 layers of production that have to get to this machine that takes like six inputs. It's like if you don't have it somewhat optimized, it's just you're never going to get anything done. You just keep connecting stuff until it works right. Yeah, it'll work eventually. If it doesn't, you're not trying hard enough. And you need to try harder.

If it doesn't, you haven't connected everything. Just plug more stuff into more stuff. There's a few interesting things in the world out there that if you guys were curious about, let's say, the 25 worst items pulled from people's butt in 2025. I think that gave me heartburn. What did you just say? Are they unique, or are they the same 25 worst items from last year?

Because I know there's basically the same collection year to year, but I'm just curious. Is one of them, Stevo from Jackass? All of Stevo. I'll tell you, rock is on this list. Duane? It says A rock, but it's not, you know, doesn't specify which rock. It might be The Rock, but it might not. Gary A. Rock Stevenson?

He's way less famous than The Rock. Some animals eat rocks and they'll help in digestion. Maybe someone butt chugged a rock hoping it would help with their digestion issues. It could be. There's not many explanations of why. There's a couple here. But I'll go through it. A thermos.

Like a whole thermos? That sounds big. That sounds too big to me. I wouldn't want. That doesn't sound good. It was discovered only during a police body scan. So I'm assuming it was holding something other than coffee. Yeah.

Tea. A corn cob style pipe. and a button nose and two eyes. That's where he goes during the summer. Okay, so this one, this one's confusing because it says a plastic coat hanger, which is like, okay. But then it also says,

comma, altered, so the person could drive to the ER. Oh, they were just hanging up their butthole so they could make alterations. I don't know. Did it alter afterwards before? Was it already in there and they altered? Did they, like, tying us chair?

stem with your tongue? Did they alter it? So I gotta drive. So I gotta get this. They clenched and just snapped it in a half so it would fold up. Yeah, I used to know so it could do that with metal ones. You put a whole metal hanger in, pull out a straight piece of wire, put the straight wire back in, put it back, they'd pull out a whole hanger, you know, back and forth, back and forth. That would actually be amazing to witness, but also no. Maybe it was a distractible listener who heard about us bunking our beds and was like, oh, plastic goat hanger. I got one of those, I just need to cut it into sections. So those are, like, slicing tables that they have that people cut stuff with.

Someone's butt is just that? That's really scary. I can think of the name of it, but, like, we had one at school. It was always, like, a real scary thing to use. That's just a paper cutter? Like a, like, a guillotine-style paper cutter? Yeah, but, like, the real giant table with a huge blade that you're like, chunk, chunk.

Cachunk. It's just, like, a paper cutter. It's for cutting papers. Or whatever fits in your butt, I guess. I guess. Anyway, we're only three of 25. It was a light bulb. Ew.

Which end first do you think? I assume they were trying to make it work, so I would assume socket end first, and then when it didn't work, they were like, oh, it must need to screw in further, and then just kept going. What if it did work when a socket and I was like, I wonder if it would work the other way? I'm trying to think of an ass static pun. Asic electricity. Beard clippers, wrapped in plastic.

Ah, for cleanliness? For constipation relief. Were they on? Like, man, I really need something to vibrate. I wish I had it. Oh, I know what vibrates. I want my shit to come out at a two. You pull it out and the guard popped all the way off.

You're like, I'm bald in there. All right, so then it gets more generic from there. You got a doorknob. Sure. Sure, everyone's been there. I'm not sure if it was attached to the door. Someone walking into the ER was just a fucking door strapped behind the fucking door. How do we get in?

Doc, turn the knob. Oh, yeah. A sandal, marbles, an egg, uncooked pasta, came out cooked, a dog to do. I thought you were just going to say a dog. A old fucking dog. Why would you put uncooked squitting pasta up there? Oh, it was just normal pasta. Wait, wait, hold on.

What the fuck? Because of the poop, Mark. Uh, a toothbrush, film canister, a battery powered light, a flashlight. These are two different entries. Vap, two pencils, A rock, eyeglasses, plastic cleanser bottle filled with liquid. Eyeglasses in a case? They keep falling off my shirt. Where am I going to keep them?

Uh, oh. A wine stopper. That one's obvious. I get what that's for. A wine decanter. I get what that's for as well. That's not on the list. I made it funny.

I feel sick. Turkey baser. Corn cob holder, which I think is the spiky thing that goes into corn cobs. Oh, I hope not. A full shampoo bottle listed twice. Don't know if that's the same person. Put it back in the moment they got it out.

Weird dude. Head and shoulders. My ass. My ass. And then a baseball. The explanation for that was to see what it felt like. I don't know why, but I was really hoping the explanation would be out at home. Yeah, because he...

No, I get it. I get it. No, actually explain it. Explain it for those at home who didn't get it. Catcher's garden home plate. His glove has fallen off. He's desperate to make the catch. It's a really fast.

a hard throw from the outfield. It's perfect. And in a fit of desperation, he squats down, catches it, it is ass as he makes the tag. But the runner really, you know, there's a lot of contact and it just gets stuck. But he got the out. Happens to the best of us.

Plus he wanted to see how it felt. I don't know if we can pop what's happened here. So I think that that's what people really needed to know about how life's been for us since the last time we did a normal episode. I think we're going to wrap it there. The butthole stuffers, stocking stuffers really encapsulates what distractible is. I had an article, but that's fine. Do you want to share it, Bob?

Yeah. I thought this one was really funny. All right, all right. You know what? Fair enough. January 13th, authorities in Missouri say that the multiple monkeys who have been on the loose in the St. Louis area have now been joined by a wayward goat. Attempts to find this group of animals are being hampered by AI because people keep generating

videos and images of the group of animals being in places where they are not. Also, I just want to say, I'm really sorry to this person, but a spokesperson for the St. Missouri Health Department or St. Louis Health Department, whose name is Willie Springer, said that the search has been further complicated by people making funny joke videos that are AI-generated of the animals committing crimes and vandalizing things. jumping on people's trampolines in their backyard. Well, not real trampolins, but also Willie Springer. Willie, you're only.

I'm not going to lie, a lot of those backyard trampoline videos did get me. Like, I fooled me. But now every time I see a night vision animal video, I'm like, it's got to be fake. No, my favorite one and also the one that I, that got me when I, it was all in one night. I watched like some deer or some bears. And then there was one where a trampoline wanders in the edge of frame and climbs up on the trampoline and a trampoline is jumping on the trampoline and I was like, um, got me. But that's very funny. Related unrelated, I feel like I would, I really want to jump on a trampoline.

It's been so long, but I feel like I would really not feel good after doing it at this point in life. You gotta go to one of those indoor trampoline parks. It's safer. Plus then there'll be lots of people there to videotape it. I've been to one of those ones. It's been a long time. Was that with you guys? Not me. Maybe. I got nothing else to say. Any final thoughts or words? Mark's article was better Animals on trampolines Great, buttholes very distractible

You know I guess I'll go through the points here Corridor crew Lost the point For the cat lies I originally was going to sign that to Mark But he passed the buck So corridor crew

Has anyone ever gotten just a negative one point That's not one of us To end an episode I'm sure One of our wives has done that Or like listeners or watchers or something I know we've given points I don't know if I've ever done a negative to someone else.

But anyway, congrats the corridor for maybe having the record just first. Um, Mark, you got points for something. Man, Bob and I were just talking about how I can't read any of my writing. We were talking about that. Sound to make out now? That can't be what that is. What? I think to make out is actually two words, not three.

I just can't tell where they begin and end. Maybe people will be making out during Iron Lawn, you know? Who knows? Uh, the final, final stretch. You're a Da Vinci Shill. Cats, not Fairlight, Decanter, 2028 items in butthole. There's a big jump from Not Fairlight to Decanter, I feel like in the, if we were to look at the time code of the movie or the episode.

Yeah, I got kind of caught up in conversation and probably didn't assign any points for a while, but it's okay. You get seven there. It's okay. All right, okay, all right. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it.

Bob, you got points for Walking New York Realman. Remember that when you said that? Walking New York Realman. I do it every day. Oh, New Year's Resolution. Walking New Year's Resolutions, what that is. Beatles, you're a better friend that I am. You gave out my full legal name.

Mark did that, but sure, yeah. But if rat room money, that can't be what that says. This is worse than usual. Man, what episode did you listen to? This sounds like a cool episode. I was really, yes. Rat room money. I started to write butthole something that you said.

I didn't finish it, so it just says butthole why? high tail animals on trampolines and had to explain your baseball joke Whoa Whoa There was a big gap in mind too Wait a minute

It ends up to nine So right now it's nine to seven Bob Them's the brakes What we do after that? I forget wheels The wheel thing Oh man how can I forget These were so good to me last time

I think a two would be real funny Much prefer one Three is just two randoms We want to see that sweet Number. All right, I got a chance. All right. Well, what do you add to the wheel?

I hadn't got that far. Made most references to the past. How we're gonna keep track of it? No idea. Everyone comes up, we'll say, don't know, we'll move on. References to the past. I mean, it's a new one. I gotta, yeah.

All right, we're shut hold and we get one big old spin. Man, imagine if out of 88 options you land on, it's a tie. We don't have to. Let's just go point to the listeners like usual and move on. Oh. Used best word. Decanter is the best one I have written down that Mark said. But I said vicissitude.

When did you say vicissitude? That's a great word. Well, I probably said that somewhere in there. I use that word all the time. Mark gets it for decanter. God damn. You always had me, Bob. I was like, that is a good word.

I'm whatever you say it. But what a great word. Am I the host now? Because I win. I guess so. Congratulations, Bob. You're the victor. It's not a tie.

That's so sad. I can't believe it. It's close. It was close. It was close and I would have liked at the end. Yeah. But you know, at the end, Bob, you came out ahead.

So why don't you give us a winner's speech? It's been so long since we've done an actual episode of this podcast that I sort of forgot how it worked. But now that we've had a chance to warm up, I remember it doesn't really work the same way every time anyway. So it's going to feel. just as new and awkward next time. Which is hilarious, because how many,

we're verging on 400 episodes of this now? Something like that? Oh Lord, really? We're just somewhere in that ballpark. Is it? That's pretty cool. Still, you know what? You guys keep it fresh.

Congratulations to us all. But mostly me, I guess. Congratulations. Oh. Yeah, that was nice for a second there. Mark, not winner's speech. Uh, I didn't win. And that's what happened.

Um, I came. I came into this show. I didn't get points. He did. Therefore, one is bigger than the other. Which one was? The bigger number. Is that the winner?

Yes. Am I the loser? Also, yes. Are these the facts? And is this what happened? That's for the judge to decide. And he did. The end.

Well, all said. With writing like that, I can't wait for the movie coming out. I'm just a few days, guys. If you haven't gotten tickets, Go see Iron Lung. 3D print your buckets. And I guess stay tuned for another episode of this where Bob will be hosting. If you haven't already go follow Bob at my skirm, Mark at Markiplier, or is it Iron Lung.com?

That's what's that Iron Lung.com is where the, yes, where the tracker is. Go check there too. I'm Wade Minion 77 or Lord Million 7777. Stay tuned for the next one. Merch. We have new merch coming all the time. Over at that website that's, if you're a watcher, it's right there. You remember it.

Distractable. Stop. shop? Yeah, why'd you say it like that? That's clearly the correct answer. You did it. Yeah, thank God. Say it with confidence.

It's distractible. Dot shop. Go buy our stuff, go buy Mark's movie, chill out, buy all of our shit. I don't have much individual shit, but just buy whatever you can find. We'll see you next time with Bobelhost. Until then, podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.