Distractible - Fake Tech

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Bob prompts a discussion about technology that blurs the lines of reality in this hilarious episode full of gadget scams, 00’s game nostalgia, and if the mute button could exist for real life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production with your hosts Wade, Mark, and Bob. This week, the tenacious triad tantalize and terrify with tirades toward that most troubling, fake technology. Please control thy timorousness and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractable. Here we discuss anything that interests us and kind of vaguely compete to see who can bring the most captivating stories to the table or spin the craziest pile of bull honky you can imagine. Whoever brings the best story, as judged by me, the host, and winner of the previous episode, just to tout that a little bit, will be declared today's winner and will earn the right to host next week's episode episode i have complete autonomy in judging this i may or may not give you points i may or may not

give checks and minuses and i i have my own system and it is secret and you don't get to know and who am i judging today me well you probably know but as always joined by mark and wade hey guys one of those is me. Hello. Hi. I would like to just get ahead of the curve here. I see where this is going. There is an official rule in the distractible guidelines and bylaws that says the judge cannot declare themselves the winner. I just want to point that out at the top of the episode because I don't think anyone at home listening knows that rule just yet. And I feel like it might come into play in this episode.

I mean, I have to give someone else a shot, so it'd be pretty rude of me to just continue to declare myself the winner even after I win all the other episodes where I'm not hosting. Isn't it also a rule where the judge makes up the rules? Sort of conflicting rules. You just got to resolve it on your own judgment. It'll be fine. I haven't read the bylaws in a while,

but I'm just saying the cannot make the of the winner one is probably above the other what if we're so bad we don't deserve the win what that's a fair question that is possible no that's not a fair question no wait what what if you two submit for review such terrible crap that you don't deserve it yeah you don't even beat each other you both lose then by default i think bob should win this episode, honestly. I would be the winner. Well, number one, it's also not a democracy, Wade. And also, two, my idea is going to be so incredible.

I don't even know what the subject is, but I can already tell. Are we a cheerocracy? What are we? Okay. All right. As the first winner and obviously the most important storied winner. It's like George Washington. You know, he could have stayed on as president. winner and obviously the most important storied winner it's like george washington you know he

could have stayed on as president the whole of the populace was like king george you know but he was like no we must abide by the law not with his crazy apple tree deforestation methods oh my god so you're telling me that he was the first winner and he knew when he was done. He knew when he was out of content. He knew when he was washed and he gracefully went into the night by his own choice. Completely unlike what you were doing. Are we retiring distractible already? I'm not ready to say goodbye. Yeah, this podcast is over. It's pretty much washed up.

We only had like one idea. So Bob's declaring himself the winner of the final episode? Oh, maybe. We're not there yet, man. Spoilers. declaring himself the winner of the final episode oh well maybe we're not there yet man spoilers look the tradition thus far has been to talk personal stuff for a minute okay give me something personal what do you got i broke my balls in europe when we did the you're welcome tour personal not exactly current but i'll take it oh mark have you ever broken your balls no

that sounds like a lie sounds like some juicy context behind that ever broken your balls? No. That sounds like a lie. Sounds like some juicy context behind that. I've never broken my balls. You ever damaged them? No. Oh, I did. I punched myself in the balls when I got scared streaming a couple weeks ago, months ago. I don't know how long ago it was.

Years ago? All right. So I don't know if you guys know about this, but I used to play a game called Nutball back in high school. So when I say that I haven't broken my balls, I'm pretty sure I haven't. But Nutball did get pretty extreme. There also was a version we called Nutball Extreme that we did on a show that won't be named ever again. So my balls are fine. If anyone at home was wondering, my balls are fine.

So they've recovered. They were never out of the picture in the first place. Who were you trying to impress out there with, my balls are fine, don't trust me? Well, who? I don't want everyone thinking I got broke-ass balls flopping in my pants. This is the second episode where the intro has included concerning discussion of Mark's balls.

Can I just say that? When have we talked about my balls in another episode episode two you were gloating about winning and you were like the enormously testicled you know what i think we're getting like a weird like secondhand picture of some trauma that mark suffered from a game of extreme nutball during his 11th grade year he's that guy that got ball implants it was like a junior year of high school and like i got a bad hit but they swelled up three times their size and ever since that i was like oh hell yeah but it's a horrible medical condition i've got like elephantitis i was imagining you popped one and when they asked what kind of prosthetic you wanted you were like triple

d's and they were like well these are like breast implants and you were like is there bigger than triple d's and they were like i traditionally, that's not the right idea. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Quadruple Ds. And the doctor eventually was like, all right, man. I mean, it's your sack. Oh, my God. Wait, I have to Google if there are testicle implants now.

Oh, 100%. Not for myself, but, you know. Oh, no. Yeah. No personal interest for any reason related to any nutball injuries. Not that this is the forum, but whenever a guy gets an erection isn't some of the skin that helps in the extension come from the ball so if you made your balls really big wouldn't you have a tiny boner am i doing that science right i mean by comparison i guess that is a practical analysis of how the penis works that

i have never and continue to not want to delve into where does it come from there's there's an article there's an article testicle implants are they right for you and this is talking about replacing if you lose a testicle but i'm talking about testicle enhancement here this is not like reconstructive surgery. If you survive, you know, cancer, or if you have a real serious illness, this is like, they're just not big enough.

It's a thing. It's a thing. Testicle enlargement in Beverly Hills. There are many factors which impact your sexual confidence. If you believe that your scrotal area is too small or unnatural looking, there is a solution. Testicle enlargement implants by doctor can restore your body sexual identity and your confidence i'm sure nobody can figure out who

the doctor is i'm glad you kept them anonymous oh there are pictures oh okay not googling that mark already had he's just covering his tracks like oh what a surprise can't believe this exists right next to me oh man i live right next to the guy i already see that doctor for unrelated stuff and i didn't uh what if he offers the service maybe i ask him a picture of the discord of like the guy they have no it's not of balls i swear just of the dude that they have just like schedule i don't know if this is the doctor just some no that's the patient You can see it in his face. He's like, they're too small. Everyone's laughing at me.

I need this. I dress nice and I part my hair like this every day to cover up my weird sack. Okay. So I regret forcing you to talk about personal stuff. All right. So I'm the judge. This is a podcast we haven't even gotten to the topic yet today's topic oh we're so distractible oh he said it good anyway today's topic are you ready no the best fake technology something where you look at it and you're like

i know that that cannot exist, but this is on Kickstarter or it's a video of this. Clearly this technology exists and is not at all computer graphics or faked in any way. I want your best fake technology. Yeah. Okay. I already have an idea. I do too. Well, this is a great moment to pause and say that today's episode is brought to you by some sponsors and this here they are do you have the titles of your stories gentlemen yes mark seems confident because i feel like it's going to be solid wade are you ready you want to hit me with your title done you ready for it give it to me all right introducing the stfu Introducing the STFU. I feel like I have an idea of what it will do, but I can't imagine how. Blow your mind. I expect that it will.

Mark, what do you got? The biggest, dumbest squeeze. He didn't laugh at mine, and I laughed at his, so I guess I got to point that out to be fair. You know what, Wade? Points for honesty. Points for you. Great job. Oh, thank you.

I love your fair play. Appreciate that. Sportsmanship. He's such a good sport. He's such a good boy. That's why I never win anything. I'm too nice of a sport. He's such a good boy.

Oh, am I such a good boy? Thank you. He's such a good boy. He's a point for you. He's such a good boy. Here's a point for you. He's such a good boy. Who plays nicely? Oh. You want belly scratch?

You want belly scratch? Me, I do. Yeah. It's me. All right, well. You want me to go first? That's presumptuous. I was going to have you go first until you just inserted yourself in there.

I'm sorry. You know what, Wade? Yeah? I have points for being uh patient oh and letting the host do their job mark you're still gonna go first though okay all right fair so have you heard of a thing called the juicero it sounds juice related it sounds like a name from a shakespeare play that's true have you heard of juicero juicero juicero wherefore are thou apples no juice zero j-u-i-c-e-r-o like the name is kind of it's one of those like techie names yeah now that you spelled it i know exactly what it is thank you

yeah yeah let me let me ask you something do either of you guys juice vegetables or fruits at home oh wait i know what this is i don't i don't if i'm gonna get fruit juice i'm buying a thing of it from the store. Orange juice, apple juice, some crayon, whatever. They have those. I bit into an apple and it dripped on me. I don't need to buy the fruit and make it myself. I have a, what's it called?

One of those knife pitchers that makes. Do you mean a blender? That's it. Thank you. Knife pitcher? I mean. Holy shit. I'm a little scared that I knew exactly what you meant. knife I mean holy shit I'm a little scared that I knew

exactly what you meant oh my god you're fluent in way to knees I don't like that I don't like that it's not good yay okay alright so the juicero was a device and I can't remember if it started on like kickstarter or something but it

was around 2017 or something but it was around 2017 or 2016 that it was really uh no it was founded in 2013 okay so it had like star people like former ceo of someone from coca-cola i think but the whole concept was bringing juicing into like the technological world of things and and making it kind of the keurig of juice you know what i mean yeah and so this all culminated into a device that originally when it launched in march of 2016 cost 700 dollars holy shit okay 700 that's just for the machine. And the setup video for the Juicero was like a 10 minute video of talking about set it up on your desk, plug it in, connect it to your wifi, make sure that the connection is stable, let it run a system update, then insert your packet and now squeeze.

And so the hilarious thing about it was the entire machine, the entire $700 machine was unnecessary because they sold the packets of juice and you could squeeze it with your hands to get the juice out of the packet. Yeah. So I'm looking at this. It looks like a Keurig with nothing on the front except for one button. Yeah. this it looks like a cure egg with nothing on the front except for one button yeah what you do is when you want a glass of juice you go to the fridge you pull out a plastic bag that's pre-filled

with some stuff you put it in the machine all the machine does is squeeze it out why is it wi-fi enabled what does that do it literally just even if it was whole fruits and it was a special bag contraption, and it somehow did something special to cause it to shit out juice instead of pulp. What? Why? Why does this exist? Yeah, exactly.

I kind of want one. Are they still making these? No, they suspended sales like a few years ago because no one was buying it. And also it was just a terrible device and it didn't make any sense and everyone made fun of it it was the culmination of silicon valley trying to technify or like bring everything into the internet of things which is i fucking hate that phrase it's so uselessly stupid you could take an apple in your hand and you could squeeze it with your muscles and you could get more juice out of it than hand and you could squeeze it with your muscles and you could get more juice out of it than this. Or you could just eat the fucking apple. I don't like

juicing. Can I just say that much? You just, if you want to get the nutrition, just eat the goddamn vegetable or goddamn fruit. Just eat it. It's there. You get the skin, you get extra nutrients. You squeeze all the fiber out of it and all the cellulose and all the other nutrients that are stuck in the cell walls and the freaking vegetable just eat the goddamn vegetable i can't match your level of outrage but i have to agree completely i get the idea of like orange juice is really tasty apple juice it's like tasty right yeah but it's a it's a sugar drink it's like natural soda if you're juicing anything, you're essentially squeezing out the wetness and throwing away all of the part that matters. The main thing about vegetables and fruit, especially fruit, because the juice is the

thing that contains a lot of sugar. In most fruit, the thing that contains anything of actual value or nutrition is the pulp. It's the skin, it's the cell walls, it the thing that contains anything of actual value or nutrition is the pulp. Yeah. It's the skin. It's the cell walls. It's everything that contains the liquid. The liquid is basically just sucralose and water or whatever. I don't know if that's the right sugar. I like juice. It's good, but it's not healthy.

No, there's the same amount of sugar in a glass of orange juice as there is in a glass of Coca-Cola. That's actually true? It's really true. It may not be exactly the sameCola. Like any soda. That's actually true? It's really true. It may not be exactly the same, but it's close. That's crazy. I just Googled how much sugar is in a glass of orange. That's not right. Yeah.

While juices are more nutritious than sodas, they often contain just as much sugar. A 12-ounce glass of orange juice contains nearly the same amount of sugar as a can of Coke, Around 10 teaspoons of sugar. 10 teaspoons of sugar. Scoop a spoon in a bowl of sugar 10 times into a glass of water. That's how much sugar. I could eat that much sugar.

I used to eat sugar cubes. Well, yeah, you could. And there's nothing wrong with like one. One teaspoon or one sugar cube? There's nothing wrong with juice. It just isn't. It seems like a scam but yeah people have a misconception it's like ordering a salad with like chicken fingers

bacon and ranch dressing on it and you're like well i mean the salad like yeah sure there's a lettuce in there i feel like you're skipping on the healthy good parts of a salad and you're really adding in all the things that a salad is sort of trying to get you to avoid with all the fried food. And like, I love a salad with chicken fingers on it, but that's not the same. When you can't see green from all the white from the ranch dressing anymore, your salad ain't healthy. I just want to know what else we can juice. Can we juice chicken?

Can we juice steak? Can we juice like, can you juice your neighbors? Like, what all can you juice? I mean, yeah can you juice your neighbors like what all can you juice i mean yeah i juice my neighbors all the time you can juice pretty much anything that's made of liquid which is pretty much any organic thing generally if you put ice in there would it juice down to water or would it just crush the ice i think it i think if you did it fast enough you'd end up with like with like kind of like a crushed ice situation yeah yeah slushy yeah this sounds fantastic i want one of these i they probably make other tools that'll get you there probably stuff that works more consistently can you juice like french fries

i mean okay you're talking about the difference between juicing and liquefying right no i just want to squeeze the juice out of a potato the only thing you would get out of a french fry would be the oil that it got fried in i don't think you would get much else. I mean, there's probably a very small amount of water, but it's mostly steamed out when you fry the french fries, I think. So yeah, yeah. I like that the prompt was fake tech and somehow you found an actual thing that existed that's so bad that it sounds like a joke from some like B sci-fi movie i know you want to know the worst part of it they're making another one on kickstarter there was this thing called the the juicier and it looks exactly the fucking same i mean i gotta back this it's so and it

raised it had a goal of fifty thousand dollars000. Guess how much it raised. Oh, like $9 million or some dumb shit. $580,000. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You're over. It's $579,000. It doesn't even look different. Is this by the same company? I know.

The Juicero. The Juicero. It's like if you took the original Juicero and just made the front round you could see the plastic pouch sticking out of it oh man the media oh yeah a must-have product for busy and lazy people i love that for me wait you know what you know what i will say about this new one that's on kickstarter in their demo It shows, so they're not pre sealed pre-made pouches. Maybe they do sell that. It also shows people prepping their own fruits and vegetables and then putting it into the back of a juicier pouch. So you can make your own smoothie.

It's simply cold pressed in the dumbest way that you could imagine. What is this pouch thing? You guys, I don't understand the pouches. I thought took the an apple or a green bean you put it in there you squeeze it and some juice comes out where's the what's about that's why it's stupid that's a juicer from like the 80s that's the stupid what are you an idiot yes no put it in a pouch and then have a machine that costs 700 squeeze you put the green bean in a pouch and then have a machine that costs $700 squeeze. You put the green bean in a pouch. Yeah. Are you not like Googling anything or whatever? I don't know. I'm lazy. That's why it's hard to describe this any more accurately than we have. That's a plastic pouch filled with fruits and vegetables. You slide the plastic pouch into the machine. The machine does nothing

other than squeeze the plastic pouch so that juice pees out the bottom that sounds great what's wrong with this product i love this okay this one does say it gives like eight tons of force but i'm also assuming in the grand scheme of juicers like i bet there are other juice machines that have been around since the 80s that can do like eight tons of force i just have nothing to compare it to. Because I imagine the amount of force to squeeze the juice out of a carrot. Compare it to yo mama. What? She's strong.

Yeah, I guess. God, God. Am I good at this? Yeah, calm down, man. Anyway. You can get your shit together. Anyway, that's my bit. That's my story.

I like that product. I kind of want to put things in bags and squeeze them. That sounds like a YouTube channel that could exist. Honestly. Yeah. Bag and squeeze. youtube.com slash user slash bag and squeeze welcome to the hydraulic juice channel they have done like juicing stuff i was watching them the other day like they put hamburgers they did try to juice a hamburger and stuff like that so oh no and you know what it does go through the tube with sufficient force. It really does. What if you juice a bottle of orange juice? Is it just become orange juice with glass chunks in it?

What if you did that and just water came out and all the orange stuff stayed in the juicer? It's like magic. And also, wait, when have you ever seen a glass bottle of orange juice? Internet. Good answer. Good answer. of orange juice internet good answer good answer good answer good answer thank you thank you all right mark for exceeding the prompt finding a real fake piece of ridiculous nonsense uh points for you thank you more points than wade has probably all day. Yeah, take that Wade Just you wait till my turn comes up. I'm gonna show you I was waiting. I am waiting. All right, it's your turn Wade It's come up. All right Introducing the stf you all right you guys we've all had friends

Good we're on the same page and you know people have different things going on in their lives notoriously throughout high school college and workplace life like there's always like people that are like getting into drama right there's always like gossip and bullcrap going on what if you just want to silence it you know you know they need to vent but you don't want to hear it you could use like earplugs or something but then they'd like realize something was going on and i can't believe you do that so what you do is you get the stfu it's a handheld controller like controller device that toggles vibrations in the air you have to tune it to whoever you want to use it on and it matches their vocal cords and just fucking mutes them silences them turns them off oh i like that

that's actually interesting f u live real time noise cancellation they're talking they can probably hear themselves in their own head or whatever but anything that comes out of their mouth insta silence you know i was thought he was just bullshitting for a second but that sounds like something that could actually be made you have a long-range microphone that's detecting what's coming out of their mouth. It's like laser-based, so it can get there before the sound waves reach you, looking in their mouth and whatever and detecting the vibrations in the air

before they get back, and then shoots an equivalent sound back at them to cancel out the frequency. I don't think that's impossible. Thank you, thank you. I will take the compliment toward my... Bob, I'm just going to note for the record that Mark's complimenting my idea. But the STFU, I mean you know i mean it's a good idea there's so many people out

there that just talk and it's like please just tell me who would you use it on name names oh specifically oh yeah oh uh for those of you listening earmuffs here real quick um well there's michael there's stevie there's that fucking guy at the counter at the deli. There's the deli. What is this, a 90s sitcom? Do you not have a deli? There's Wanda at the dry cleaners. What are you, juice your meats? Man, she just can't stop talking about how her phone rings off the hook.

And she's like, I only wish the phone cord was long enough for me to take calls in the bath. Oh my God. Did that saying expire ringing off the hook? Is that a dated thing? Yeah, absolutely. i haven't heard anyone say that in ages i've i've heard people use it but i mean obviously it doesn't apply to modern digital phone technology so feels like it's going but does anyone younger than us use the expression ringing off the hook oh absolutely not we're basically boomers uh that feels bad, man. What were we talking about? Do you guys know about the sound cannon? Like the military grade like sound weapon thing?

Yeah, I've seen that. I've never actually like been in an area where it's used. And I swear I'm not a masochist, but I really do want to know what it's like to stand in front of that. What's it do? Well, it's like a huge array that like fires targeted sound, right? But when you see videos of it used on people they react like there's knives being shoved into their head it's intense dude it's uh here i'm gonna put a an image into the discord and i don't know wait this is like the kind of weaponization you were hoping

for but at 15 meters and 15 meters is a good distance away like that's at least like a car length or two in front of the vehicle that's on, because it's usually on a truck, it will cause permanent hearing loss. At 100 meters, it's extreme pain. 100 meters. Longer than a football field away, extreme pain. 300 meters severe headaches. What if you put your head in it? I mean...

Do you actually explode? I would assume. Are you juiced? I would assume. Could you juice yourself with this? A sound-based juicer is genius. Dude, you've seen those YouTube videos where a singer or someone is like, I'm going to shatter this crystal glass with just the sound of my voice

and using resonant frequencies. The next challenge for that needs to be, I'm going to juice this pomegranate using only the sound of my voice and the resonant frequency of the seeds inside i'm gonna juice this drama gossip using only the sounds of my voice all i want it wait wait i gotta show i gotta hang on i got another picture for you guys i don't know if this is like real military tech or just like a mock-up for something it's like an animation from a johnny quest cartoon like the sound that happens when that occurred was like what we're looking at if you guys can't look right now what we're looking at is someone dressed up in like futuristic robocop outfit

holding a sound bazooka blowing a hole through a wall that says hardened bunker next to it that also is damaging a blue box called target and apparently the enemy is just knocked unconscious on the floor by the sound circles emanating from the bazooka enemy in a green tracksuit is super dead on the floor described as a shoulder fired device that produces ultra something sonic waves that affect both living and non-living material yeah guys if you're ever listening at home if we ever get our website up distractiblepodcast.com we are going to have references for what we're talking about however i don't know if that's there go to distractible

podcast.com crash the website do whatever you want to it right now but eventually there will be stuff there no no promises if it's existing right now but that's you know probably maybe probably yeah probably maybe yeah no we've spent so many episodes already working against each other that now that we've combined our ideas for the sonic wave shut up or juicer combo like you could have lunch with your enemies juiced I couldn't even follow through on that one. All right. I got to be honest though, Wade. Big time points for coming up with a technology that may exist someday and totally sounds like feasible and hilarious.

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I have to say I did my own research for this one oh because the thing that inspired this is a drama of the internet that has been unfolding over the last i don't know half decade approximately have you guys ever heard of the kickret bracelet circuit circret secretion bracelet this listen i don't know who came up with his name but it's not easy to pronounce it's a little bracelet that you theoretically wear on your wrist how do you

spell it c-i-c-r-e-t i actually spelled it right the first time yeah you wear it on your wrist it's like a little smartphone basically but on the inside so on the on the inside of your arm up your forearm it projects the screen so it's a little bracelet and it projects the screen onto your arm like you know sci-fi style and it's a touchscreen fully touchscreen it's like an android phone there's apps and you can watch videos on it what have you guys ever seen this it's no there was a whole kickstarter thing there's a well i don't actually know if it was a kickstarter but it was one of those where it was you know it was this thing where they pitched the idea and everyone was kind of like that'd be really cool like that sounds like it could exist that sounds you know

feasible sure some version of it may exist some sort of tech you know demo of it potentially exists but all of their oh the site doesn't even exist anymore all of their promos all of their videos that i have ever seen they're fake they're computer graphics well okay it appears to be gone forever off the internet now but there's a really great captain dissolution video yeah about the bracelet he's this guy who does youtube videos debunking like video effects and viral videos and stuff. And he breaks down like shot for shot, both how the video is clearly faked, how it's like computer graphics overlaid over the images that they filmed, and also how this technology couldn't even remotely exist and all the technical issues with it.

But like it raised a lot of money. It raised, I think, hundreds of thousands of dollars, tons of backers. It's this huge, like weird case study and like just utter bullshit being shilled. And then the company is gone now. Apparently. That's fascinating. Like it's legitimately fascinating because I'm looking at some of these images. I'm looking at them right now and I'm like, that could be believable.

Just the way that they have it projected onto the skin in some of these. And admittedly, these are screenshots of things, but just like the idea behind it, it seems like something that would be feasible, but I can totally see how it's just like someone brought that idea into the 21st century like someone in the middle of a mall you know they don't even have a booth they're just like standing in between a pillar and they I hate those jump out there you wanna and then they put a bracelet on they actually shove you first you know they they come up to you like hey you're off balance and then you fall over you're like what the you don't have one of these bracelets I want a Sonic cannon those people people. We need a portable sonic cannon. One that you can wear on you. Like a bracelet sonic cannon. The rocket launch.

Oh, bracelet cannon, dude. Oh my God, we're coming together. You can juice. You can silence. I mean, so I've told you it's fake, but would you have bought this? Like if you came across this at the right point in your life on the internet and it was, I don't know how much it was. It was probably quite expensive.

Yeah. But if it was, you know, 500 bucks or or something it was mainly a projector on your wrists yeah so it's literally a bracelet and this the image is projected out of the bracelet onto your skin it's one of those things where like when the first oculus rift came out it compared to what it can do today it's the jankiest stupidest thing that you could possibly imagine, right? However, it did work. And, like, you could put the headset on, you could move your head around, and you would be in the world. And I remember playing Dumpy Goes Elephants, and I remember just slapping things around with, like, my nose.

And that was amazing to me. So I can totally see how people might misconstrue this being like, oh, this is just the first generation of something cool. Even if it works janky, I want to see it. So if you believe that it's actually a product then you know like why not you know it it does seem like something that could exist and then maybe would expand beyond it but you know at the same time a lot of people showing a lot of interesting things out there i don't know why i'd want something broadcasted on my skin i mean it's not any different than your phone screen well no but like the watches and stuff nowadays you can just look at the watch it like it just images on the watch face why would i why would i it's big though it's big i mean if it could project like

you know if you could stand back and project it onto like a wall or something like you know you're hanging out with your friends it's like oh watch a movie you just like type on your watch and then all of a sudden the brick wall can display the image like that'd be pretty cool but just on my skin it'd be like i don't know what i'd want to look at that badly that quickly that has to be like that i don't know maybe the later iterations yeah but that first one would be like yeah i was kind of like that with like the iphone and stuff too like the first time they were like flip phones are no longer needed you can have a big screen i was like that's stupid i hate it i don't want it maybe i'm just consistent to change when i saw the first iPhone, it blew my fucking mind.

I had no idea that was even a thing that you could do. Touchscreens itself was always very futuristic for me. And so whenever I saw the first execution of a touchscreen with your finger and not a stylus, I was like, what the hell? It just seemed like this quantum leap ahead in technology that I didn't see coming. So I was super excited about it. I didn't get an iPhone until like the iPhone 3GS, but like getting that. That's pretty early. It was like, that's third generation. I think it was iPhone, then iPhone 3G and then iPhone 3GS.

And then it was just like, but when I got that, it changed my entire life experience. Suddenly my, like to this day, everyone has changed to the point where they're always looking at their phones every single day. And you can't imagine not imagine not before that i did not have the experience of pulling something out of my pocket and looking at it for even like the minority of my day and it turned into the majority of my day was looking at this phone playing like phone games like uh i think there was a stupid like infinite money like whatever thing it's like dumb ass games terrible games they're no different today mobile games still suck to this day but it's just like i it was mind-blowing mind-blowing that kind of thing that i could do yeah i think like the first real like panic attack

like freak out that i ever had in my life was when I got my first smartphone. I was really spoiled. I was obsessed with it though. It was one of those things where I got it for a birthday present and I talked about it for like years ahead of time because I followed it. It was coming out.

I was obsessed with it. I was telling my parents about it constantly. And I think it was in like 2008 or 2009 for for my birthday i got a t-mobile g1 which was the first android phone that ever existed like it was one of those things where i was at college and my parents lived at home a couple hours away they drove down and came into my like apartment and judged how nasty it was probably and they were like here's your birthday present and i opened it and i didn't think i was gonna get it because like like you said mark like smartphones were like like space technology this is like alien shit

like doesn't exist yeah and i opened it and i held it in my hand and i like i didn't say a word i was freaking out we like walked downstairs we're going somewhere to have like dinner and spend some time with my parents and we were in the van and I was sitting there staring at my hands, holding this thing in my hand, like hyperventilating, having a total breakdown of just like, I can't believe this exists. And I still remember that feeling because there's a lot of shit that exists now where like the first time I used a VR headset, like that was a good example i put it on and you look at it no one who used first generation vr was like whoa it's realistic like you look at it and you could see the pixels and you can see all the flaws yeah but then you start playing a game and you're just like oh no yeah no no this is not real this is a dream or

something like yeah something about technology just like somewhere deep inside me when i really touch something that's novel and that that really changes how i get to interact with technology or how my life works that freaks me out man wade what was your first experience with vr or something like this i mean going way way back the first time i think technology blew me away was when the playstation 2 came out oh yeah i remember launching that up like i didn't know i was going to get it either because it was like, you know, every time a new console comes out, you know, how hard it is to get. So my mom waited in line like six hours to get it.

And I remember I had a friend over. We plugged it in, turned it on. And compared to like PlayStation graphics and Nintendo graphics and everything else, now looking back, the graphics don't look that impressive. But at the time, comparatively, like it was mind blowing how realistic that was, how big of a leap in graphics it was. And I was just thinking to myself, like, I cannot believe video games have come this far. Like there's no way they can go up from here.

Oh my God. I used to watch technical demos for gameplay all the time. Like the Doom 3 technical demo with its lighting and shadows. I had the same feeling every time I looked at that. And I had the same feeling recently with the unreal engine 5 tech demo have you guys seen that no yeah is it the one where they go through like the apartment no no this is the one where they go through the temple oh i haven't seen that engine 5 tech demo it gave me like i felt chills down my spine looking at this because what they were able to do in real time on like current generation hardware with the way the lighting interacts and the physical

like movements of things inside of it. And just looking at that, and I know it's like a perfect scenario for this to work flawlessly on the system, but the fact that the graphics were just so good and like technology coming forward like this, i still to this day get chills looking at this kinds of accomplishments and it may not seem like a lot for a lot of people but my whole life has been seeing these steps play out and every time i see like technology take another step it's just oh it opens my mind when the falcon rockets oh my god do you remember the video the twin falcons landing at the same time oh my god like never in my mind had i considered that was possible i did not watch live but i i heard people talking about it and i i sort of follow spacex but i that happened and i did i expected to hear

like you know the test didn't work it was a horrific accident and they both exploded or whatever i didn't hear anything about it and i was like hey did that work did that work that doesn't sound possible and i watched that no i i must have watched that one you know maybe 60 seconds of the final descent and the final burn and everything yeah for like an hour and a half just re-watching it just like that there's no way that that happened wait have you seen this yeah the rockets i did yeah no that was awesome i was thinking about the another one that blows my mind is the fact we have self-driving cars i know it's not utilized like you know 100 of the time or whatever now but like just the concept of that existing seemed like it like you know 10

years ago even if you told me we would have the option of having our cars drive themselves like okay maybe in 100 years not now yeah i don't know looking at this i'm looking at the temple i remember in playstation 2 a game like smugglers run that came out or some of the games that came out and it's like you could drive around or walk around and see like the graphics they'd have like even back then it was like repeating patterns everywhere this looks like an actual cave or temple whatever like this is amazing i know i've always i don't know if i've said this to you guys but i've always thought that inspiration is like the most valuable thing you can give to people like above almost everything else in terms of humanity like the reason like landing people on the moon not even just like americans but landing

people on the moon was so important like Like from a cost perspective, from a practicality perspective. Yeah, sure. There's science and stuff. But like for everyone's day to day life, it doesn't really affect it. But the moment the footage of people seeing that someone landed on the moon, that changed an entire generation's perspective of what was even possible. I thought that was fake. Get this started, man. I thought that was fake. Fucking get this started, man. I'll fucking, I'll destroy you.

I'll destroy you. No, but just like things like this are essential because it sparks imagination in future generations. It sets a standard of default, right? It makes it so that the next generation is like, oh yeah, we can do that. For the people that see it in their life, they're like, that's fucking amazing. That's incredible. And then for the next generation, they're like, oh, of course we can do that for the people that see it in their life They're like that's fucking amazing this credible and then for the next generation like of course we can land on the moon Why wouldn't we and then the expectations just keep exceeding themselves and like when people see oh my god

These Falcon boosters landing when I saw that starship coming down that undershot of it I don't know if you guys saw it it crashed anyway, but even a shot of it it looked CG I was like there's no fucking way. This is real, but yeah Watching all the vectoring of the three engines under there oh man yeah you know what this always makes me wonder because we're we're kind of in a middle ground generationally we're kind of in this place where like we basically grew up with the internet yeah right but like the internet wasn't really completely ubiquitous i would say until maybe high school for us yeah yeah i basically feel like i grew up with the internet i always had computers around my dad was a computer guy both

my parents were software engineers they studied that in college i grew up around computers and stuff but it's a whole different thing from like i'm familiar with computers i'm totally competent using like a cell phone i don't find it mysterious where I feel like our parents' generation, still the idea of the touchscreen, how cell phones work, the like logic of how new smaller computers work is so crazy to them. Like my parents were software engineers, but they were, when they were in college, they were like making computer code on punch cards where you're physically punching out ones and zeros on a stack of like 500 index cards, and then you feed them into the machine and it executes your code. And I feel like we're in a whole different

generation of what we view as computers and the internet and where it's coming from and how it works versus like the zoomers, not to use a derogatory term, but you know, Gen Z kids have grown up with, they've all had iPhones their whole life. It's not even crazy to them that touchscreens exist. They don't even question it. Like you said, Mark, the default standard existence for them is internet's everywhere. 4G is everywhere. You can Google anything on demand. You can have any music or media you want in any location. If a Gen Z kid ends up in a place where there's no cell service, they're like, what is this? The middle ages? You're like, what? And like, that's annoying to me. But I remember

when cell service was like a luxury. When my dad had a cell phone and it was like, yeah, you get cell service, like sometimes make a call, maybe if you need it, but you don't expect it. Like, it's just, I'm so curious what the new generations, the youngest generations perspective is on tech. Imagine what they're going to create that we can't even, you know, fathom. That's true. And they're going to see things that blow their mind that we won't even comprehend or maybe we won't even be alive for we'll get to a point where like yeah we're going to see them have their mind blowing thing come out because i remember like junior high high school when some people started getting cell phones

because that was definitely not a thing like in elementary school even middle school i don't remember anyone having a cell phone my aunt had one for work and like that was it and i remember my grandma getting one you could play like snake on the cell phone that was the only game other than that it was just calls yeah internet wise it was like i would use dial up the to play diablo and like diablo 2 that was pretty much it i would get on the internet to play diablo 2 there was no browsing the internet i don't think i used the internet for hardly anything until myspace and facebook popped up everyone had the myspace then like it was crazy when they added the ability to like have music playing or whatever facebook cropped up and it was literally only for like college kids i think it was not meant for anyone like younger than college kids but we all

like made fake accounts to get on there you like had to have an edu email and it was like invite us the whole thing invite only there was no browse in the internet for things social media i mean i guess there was instant messenger aol instant messenger everyone had like an aim account but like i didn't really feel like you were on the internet for that it was like you'd have a game up or you'd be playing minesweep or something you'd have aim up and just be chatting with like schoolmates and stuff yeah and now to your point about like technology passing us by i don't know if you guys watched any of like the Senate hearings or whatever it was with Zuckerberg.

And then they had the other guy on there too. Some of like the politicians had really, really pointed good questions for these guys. And some of them were just like, my phone has Facebook. Can you get me better internet? And it's like that, what? And it's mind-boggling. It's terrifying to think that some of the lawmakers like you know

there was the big um privacy internet privacy thing a couple years back it's terrifying how many of the people making these big decisions have no idea what or how is technology at all like no clue yeah that'll be us soon in the next generation when gen z people are our age and we're the old people yeah we'll have Senate members, Congress people who are like, why would I care? Super Twitter tracks where my footsteps have been. I don't know. I didn't even use an H phone. And all the Zoomers are like, oh, God, why are these people in charge?

Just go take a nap. God, fuck. Stay out of my life. I think what it is is like the idea that learning stops at some point. You know what I mean? It's kind of prevalent in society that once you're done with school, you stop learning. For me, it's never been like that. It's like every day is learning. And I think for you guys too. And I think also the age of the internet kind of like encourages a constant seeking of information and constant seeking of new stuff. And what it does is it like basically forces you to keep up or else you will get left behind so i think there there is more of a pressure than there

was in the past to have like this constant momentum forward of learning what is new um because i'm not saying that i'm not going to be out of touch with some things or think that some things are you know useful in the far-flung future of when i'm ancient and crumbling. But like at the same time, I think if we just encourage like for, for politicians, they should be required to learn new things. They should be taking classes. They should have tutors. There's no excuse for ignorance when it comes to things that are important for society. Like, like constant education is important in all aspects of life and constantly seeking new information is essential to grow as a person because you don't stop growing as a person. You may stop physically growing, but, you know, just like mentally like exploring new ideas has to be a perpetual thing.

Do you think we've already reached the point where technology is growing at such a rapid pace that it's actually impossible to keep up and be able to properly legislate it? Like, do you think we're already there? I mean, the nature of the legal system in America is that it's always going to be behind. It's designed to change slowly so that it's not overly reactionary. How slow it should be is debatable. But, you know, on an idealistic level, you don't exactly want the every time there's a new revolution every time something changes the internet in some fundamental way the way like social media has with its prevalency over the last decade since it's really become a focal point you don't really necessarily want that to start changing laws immediately but it does feel like we're at a place where tech is way out ahead

of where laws are at and people's understanding of what tech can do and how that should be regulated by the legal system we've been doing youtube twitch that kind of thing for like basically what eight or nine years now almost a decade and i still feel like it's the wild west out here sometimes like we don't even know like rules change the whole twitter dmca thing youtube with their adpocalypse and like you know all the rules changes on the platforms all the times and then the way um not the fda what's the what's the organization that comes in with the you know with the fda yeah the fda sure whoever is in charge of making sure that we put like hashtag ad and our titles properly and our tweets and all that oh the fca ftc of the fcc yeah

whichever one of those 80 options you guys just presented is the real one yeah like you know that's all still evolving and changing and that's just within our industry and we keep up on that like crazy like i said the scary like we don't even know all the technology being worked on right now and how to properly legislate and stuff i just wonder like you know i know it has to be a little bit behind but you have to wonder if eventually it'll be so far behind that there's just no even catching up not just legally but just like keeping up with it our own knowledge like there's always like that thing where like technology will eventually surpass our ability to understand it or whatever. Or AI will be building AI.

Like I don't think we're at that point, but. No, not yet. But it probably will come. Like here's something to blow your mind comparatively. Like there's very few people that actually like would be able to put together by themselves the kind of computer architecture that goes into CPUs today. They're so incredibly complex and the rules to make them, they have software that basically assists them in all aspects to make sure that all the logical processes are going together

because there's billions of them. It's more than any one person could ever keep track of and it's more than anything that one paper document could ever draft up. To lose that and to have to start over, you have to work quite a bit up to get back to that point they're they're just like there are some processes that are incredibly complex that are more than one person can understand but also you know human ingenuity if we build it at one point we can build it again until we get things that are designed by things that we don't understand

we won't reach that point but that may come in the future well we're all gonna die we're all dust in the wind and the wind is the fart of a god on the in the in the face of a different god so it's insignificant it's a perfect capstone to this uh that yeah that sums it up what are we talking about fake tech fake tech sure yeah and course, I remember what you both talked about. I seem to remember giving Wade quite a few points, but then giving Mark a huge boost of points. Yeah, I have to say, Wade, in that last bit there, you started to sound a little out of touch.

Like you're already aging out of technology. Started to sound a little scared, man. Oh, come on. And to come for you- We're all the same age here-ish. To come for you to give you one, I'm going to give like 30 more points does that push him beyond me how does it feel to lose again mark because your idea i know i already gave you points for idea but because your idea was literally so good and i loved it and like i'm gonna use it well i'm gonna give you wait i'm

gonna give you like 400 more points for the quality of your idea right oh my god this is a landslide god and then uh let's see what else happened and and for your pick for the first technology that really blew your mind wayne as the ps2 i respect that i really respect that i'm gonna give you like 75 more points oh my goodness we're gonna spend all this i have to invest this tally up the scores and i keep track uh we'll do a little addition uh that means today's winner by a landslide is mark all right what no wait turned out i gave mark like 250 000 points oh wait a minute oh man you you laughed at his title you enjoyed that you wanted one you wanted a juicer how much was my laugh at his title worth a lot huge chunk look the specifics escape me i've already forgotten that's fair i guess you put up a real fight wade kind of, that's fair. I think you ended up with at least

like 500 points. I felt pretty good about that until... I legitimately thought I was losing. I don't know why I care so much. Do you need to give a speech or something? You alright? You sound like you're going to tear up. I want to thank everyone that liked and

followed the podcast. I'd like to thank them personally. You're the real heroes. You're better than anyone who doesn't like and follow and subscribe. Can you like and followed the podcast. I'd like to thank them personally. You're the real heroes. You're better than anyone who doesn't like and follow and subscribe. Can you like and follow the podcast? Is that a thing we can do? I don't know. I have no idea. But just, man, every single one of you, true heroes,

you're the reason I won this today. I give this to you. Thank you. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening to Distractible, a Wood Elf production. This has been Mark, Bob, and Wade. Check out everyone's social medias, whatever.

You don't care. The real thing you got to do is make sure you're following this podcast so that you never miss a new episode. You're already listening to it, so you're right here. Just click the little plus, click the little follow, whatever. Yeah, that's the end. Congratulations to Mark. Good effort, Wade.

Yeah, thanks. I hope that your idea does does exist that feels like it could totally exist i guess i used it on myself this episode mark since you're the winner uh you want to do you want to do the honors do you want to you want to say it can i say can i say oh yeah do anything congrats wade on the the dignified loss and thank you bob for being a fair judge. This has been Distractible Podcast. Out!