Distractible - Florida or No Florida?

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Bob, Mark and Wade find out if what happens in Florida stays in Florida. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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At Mazda, we craft cars for those who choose to do more than simply move. So choose joy. Choose the road. And choose to get out there. Choose your calling. Choose to make memories. And choose more of what moves you. Mazda. Move and be moved. That's me! Now, it has to go! Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Bearded Bob bashes balls with batons against the gents to guess geographical genesis.

Mid-faced Mark has a pumping and release issue. Misjudges can um Bolivia, but not the Harbors. Winge Wade has another hard one with Hanabi. Disbeliefs a drunk dudette and dunks on Kentucky. From ocular accoutrements to Amazon firefights. It's time for Florida or no Florida. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to yet another episode of the podcast that just won't end. This is Distractable.

I am your host because I won the last episode. My name is Bob and I am joined by my two competitors for today's show, Mark and Wade. Hi. Hello. I was going to let them. Usually you guys have a lot you jump in and you've got the, that's fine. That's fine. It's I never know which way it's going to go.

And I just, I don't know. I like to keep you guessing because I don't know either you think I plan this I did Did you guys plan to wear glasses today and leave me out of it my perfect vision? I wear glasses 100% of the time you wore nothing once in one recording session for I think two episodes I wore contacts and then I realized I look really goofy without glasses on my face So I'm just gonna stick to glasses my glasses disguise the the misshapen Missproportions of my mid face and top face. Look at this mid face. You think I hide this I Accentuated by framing it. I can't stand how crunched my mid face is and how huge my top Is it top face high face not a forehead or anything. No, it's just terms

They have terms for these things. You see how I actually thin my long face too Elongated to get the long I just want to be that drawing that critical commissioned. I have no way to hide anything There's no hair to cover anything. You could rock a hat That'd be so uncomfortable these headphones. They make like silk lined hats that'd be feel feel really good on your head skin. I mean that's probably true probably would feel good but I'm wearing glasses because I always wear glasses when no one's looking at me but also took out my contacts last night and boy oh boy my left eye was just watering for about an hour and a half and I was like something's not right I might have like a

slight corneal abrasion or something going on so I was like, maybe today I just give it a break. Probably not a bad idea. Anyway, if you've never seen this show, I'm gonna judge them and one of them is gonna win and they're gonna host the next one. Usually I say that before I get into the small talk, but I forgot to say that today. It doesn't matter.

Cause I just make up the points and it's all bullshit. Wait, what? Small talk, you guys got small talk? I got small talk, but you can go first. I have several talks that are small. You can have, even medium talk is allowed. What kind of talk? You guys got small talk? I got small talk. But you can go first. I have several talks that are small. Even medium talk is allowed. What's good? What kind of talk? How much talk? What talk? Where talk? Who talk? You talk? Mark talk? Me talk?

I'll talk. All right, I'll go. Oh, I had a, a, a leak. So one of my, I have two radiator pump like all in one things to have an external cooling for servers necessary cause you can't cram it inside. And one of the pumps failed. It was still the fans were still going so it was still cooling, but the pump inside wasn't pumping.

So what this did is it created kind of a backlog of pressure as the other one, which was earlier in the loop was pushing into this other one that had. Oh, they're in series. Yeah, so they're in series. I tried parallel, it wasn't working, because for some reason, if I thought about it a little more, it's just like they wanted to push into each other as opposed to into the loop of the whole system because there's more resistance from all the different ports of the system versus each other, even with them pushing against it.

Anyway, so a parallel works, or a series works, and one of the system versus each other, even with them pushing us anyway. So parallel works or series works and one of the pumps failed and then it was like the pressure built up and I have a pressure release valve, right? It's supposed to be for air to get out if it gets too much. But also water can get out of there if the pressure is high enough. And it was high enough. And so I walked in this morning and it was just like, water was all over this thing. The whole unit was dead. I don't know if it died from the leak first or if something busted inside it, but it was

just like water was everywhere. Thankfully, my pump radios are outside of the server room. So I have been venting out of the server room. And I did that literally just two days ago. Where they were before they failed, where they were before the they failed where they were before they failed was sitting on top of all the servers in the rack where it would have literally rained down the front and back and gone right and all the power cords and everything so could not have been in a better position

before and I changed it all up because I looked at it I was just like man. This is cable hell. I gotta fix this is I'm never gonna be upgraded little did I know I saved my entire server I say you didn't even move it because you were like, oh what if it leaks? I should relocate you were just like I gotta fix that we would be having such a different conversation today I would be the saddest you've ever seen me in my life I would be just a broken shell that is serendipitous good decision mark I have an announcement a distractible announcement to me. Whoa. Yeah Little ways back we were sitting here talking and I brought up to you all a game called Anabee and I was like man I'm having a real hard time finding these tiles and boy

Oh boy, did I get a lot of people reaching out like a toy store a local toy store here in Cincinnati came across my purview if you will know but go on I'm forgetting the name of anything. It's called West Chester toys and I went over there and they had Three Hanabi tile sets just in stock apparently not in demand. Whereas all around the world It's like next to impossible to find it won't stay on eBay or Amazon or anywhere else cannot find it this toy store Just for whatever reason they're just sitting on a cache of tiles. Do I buy one and I talked to the guy I'm like, oh man, I've been looking for this. I'm so excited. I've been looking for this for months. He's like, yeah, man It's a great game. Love it. I've got one at home get home open it up show Molly I'm like oh my god we got it open it up we start playing the game I'm

looking at her set right and for those that know what I'm about to describe you know if you don't know the game works is you tell each other through two different kind of clues what tiles they have so they know what the play is cooperative but you don't know what you have and you have to be told or tell them so I'm trying to tell Molly she's got this blue four and this blue five. There's only one blue five in the whole game. So if she accidentally plays at the wrong time, it's gone forever and we can't win. And right as I'm getting ready to tell her she has this blue five, she plays a clue

and she's like, wait, you have a blue five. Well, she told me I had a I knew at a five. She's like, it's blue. And I was like, I got to take Molly to the eye doctor because like she doesn't know blue. She doesn't know her numbers oh my god. Like I'm looking at a blue five there's only one blue five so my poor wife I think she's losing her color sight she's getting colorblind so I gotta go help her out. Is that the announcement? We're getting there. So big reveal happens and come to find out

there are two blue fives there are four four blue fours, four blue threes, four blue two, six blue ones. That's too many? That's twice as many as there should be. And then I'm looking around, I'm like, man, this is weird. None of the green tiles got played. How did we just happen to skip all the green tiles? Flip all of them over. There are no green tiles in this set.

We got a misprint with double blues, no greens. That's kind of cool. And I've been looking for this for forever. Oh, wait, not cool. I see. And it looks like, damn, this isn't even like a cool collector misprint, like a shadowless Charizard or something, because literally you could just buy two sets and swap out the colors and want to be like, But it's cool because it happened like that. I think that is cool.

You have a unique Hanabi set that's completely useless. I do. So I had to go back and buy a second Hanabi set, which I did do, open it in the store, and saw that this one in fact had the green tiles. So now I've got a complete set, an incomplete set. I got some acrylic spray and I sprayed the tiles to like protect them and stuff. Though I actually got matte instead of shiny. So now I've got a really dull looking set of Hanabi tiles. No, Matt's better. Matt's always better. Yeah. I've got two sets of shiny. So now I've got a really dull looking set of Anavi tiles. No, Matt's better. Matt's always better. Yeah, I've got two sets of Anavi tiles now,

and I'm really excited. Molly and I played. We got, I wonder if I can show the picture. We got a perfect game, which was really cool. Not with the bonus set, because there's technically a six that you can play with, but. Look at all those tiles with colors. Well, this is the one without the green.

We ended up using the bonus rainbow set instead of the green, but we got a perfect game. That was shortly after Molly's surgery. So she's like, do not put my face in there. Anyway, Hanabi acquired. Thank you, internet. You know what you need? Somewhere in the world,

there's a double green Hanabi deluxe box. If you can find that, then you'll have bought three sets and have three sets and then our sets can mate and make baby sets and we can sell them for profit You could breed Hanabi for others. I know this is less exciting cuz like in the context of not being lenses You don't care, but this is my lenses. No, I was just about to say I I now know what it's like when I'm yapping about Something you guys don't care about, cause holy shit, I don't care about who I'm gonna be. Welcome to two years of you and lenses.

Tims minus minus above my head, minus minus. No, I'm just kidding. Servers and lenses, man, woo. You've got a lot of making up to do to get your social up. No, no, see, the things I- I- The things I like are actually cool, so, you know, the things I, I, the things I like are actually cool. So, you know, I think that, that, that makes it very clear. Well, I have small talk that both of you won't like.

Woo, boo, boo. Well, hang on, you don't know yet. Maybe one of you will like it. I don't actually know for a fact you won't like it. I just assume. Well, I talked to you guys about the fact that I golf now. Oh no. Sorry, I'm already tuning out. Look listen

I'm not saying that you should watch golf on TV. I'm crying. I'm mourning the loss of my good friend Bob No, I listen look have you ever golfed you should golf. It's hard. It's so hard, but in a fun way I've top golfed. I haven't golfed the top golf counts You know as funny as I so I bought a set of clubs and I I have played one Round on one nine hole par three court, which is like a baby course Which is like the baby's baby course there is didn't keep score cuz I suck but Top golf is like they had the they tracked the balls Whatever you've you go you guys both know top golf the range that I go to to practice

That's like a more serious driving range We were with you at a top golf. We've seen you hit the back net Well now I can do it slightly more consistently Anyway, the range I go to that's of like a more serious golf place like a they use the exact same shit It's called the top tracer technology. It's just top It's a it's like a totally serious driving range, but also it's just top golf it's a it's like a totally serious driving range but also it's just top golf you can do all the same shit basically which I find really really funny that's pretty cool but golf guys we have to go golfing it's surprisingly fun on an actual range I mean top golf

is fun I go I've gone to top golf couple times to like hit balls because it's it still counts it's still practice I would would go to Topgolf anytime just because that is fun. You get food and you can sit around and you know, it's nice. If you go to a golf course, you get to drive golf carts around, which is fun and way more fun than it sounds. The place I went had hills. I swear to God, it was as steep as that hill in LA that you've taken us down. It felt like we were on a fucking roller coaster, but also a lot of the hills were down like down into ravines over creeks and the bridge is about two inches wider than the wheels of the golf cart. So you're fucking screaming down a hill

just like wooooooo onto a bridge. It's exactly the width you need it to be. And it's very exciting. Are you supposed to do that or is that just something you can do in a golf cart? You're not supposed to go as fast as you can but there's no rule that says you're not allowed to go as fast as you can I think Wade cursed me with my eye because it just something I'm telling you man left eye Cardial abrasion. No, I like Hanabi. I like Hanabi Anyway, I like golf now. It's fun We should do top golf But I just want to say the first hole I ever played on a real

golf course was a very short par three. The first swing I took, I just fucking rifled a ball a hundred yards to my left into the woods. Didn't even think about looking for it. I took the swing and it was like, I'll get another ball. Okay. But then on that exact same hole, I take my next shot. I take another one and I'm just short, like just off the green, like about, you know,

almost where you can putt it. I chip in from off the green using a pitching wedge from like 30 yards away. It rolls down the green into the cup. Fucking best golf shot I'm ever going to hit in my entire life. I feel like that epitomizes golf entirely for me Started off with just the worst day I could have done finished it with an unbelievably talented shot that I had no reason to make and the rest of the day was Very much like that. I think I lost four balls total over nine holes somehow I can hit a ball during like putt-putt

But whenever I'm actually trying to swing like I'm trying to drive it It's like that ball is covered in grease and the club is changing length because I never know where I'm gonna hit like I'm trying to drive it. It's like that ball is covered in grease and the club is changing length because I never know where I'm going to hit, what I'm going to hit, if I'm going to hit. Technique? I don't have that down. I don't have to go on about this, but I golf now. So get ready for that. I'm learning a lot and I'm going to talk about it.

I will go to Topgolf with you. Absolutely. Hanabi? I'll play Hanabi at the Topgolf. I mean, I'll play Hanabi, but I Golf. I mean I'll play Hanabi but I'd want to do golf also. And we won't care about lenses Mark, I'm sorry. We should record an episode of Distractable where we play Hanabi and go to Top Golf. Filmed on a Minolta lens. Oh we'll rock it to the top, straight to the top. Like two people have been like, can you do some content on Hanabi? I'd love to see it. And I'm like, man, you're the only person who would watch. If I had the willpower to move my camera to do that, I would do it.

I yearn for settlers of Catan. You even own other cameras. You don't even have to move your camera. You literally own another camera that I know exists that would be perfect for that. That really nice one that Mark got, yeah, it's just, it's sitting in a perfect spot to film Hanabi.

Yeah, the DJI Osmo Pocket 3. That comes, it's built, it's sitting in a perfect spot to film an obby. Yeah. The DJI Osmo pocket three that comes it's built in with a perfect tripod that would be literally so convenient. And it has a microphone. It's a whole, it's like made for that exact purpose. I've got the exact amount of microphones. I need to record it right now. Can't be bothered. Now that's about right.

Good small talk, everybody, especially me. I love golf. I gave myself five points for golf. You guys better catch up. At Mazda, we craft cars for those who choose to do more than simply move. So choose joy, choose the road, and choose to get out there. Choose your calling. Choose to make memories. And choose more of what moves you.

Mazda. Move and be moved. That's me! Now I'm talking and I'm talking! What do Ontario dairy farmers bring to the table? A million little things. But most of all, the passion and care that goes into producing the local high quality milk we all love and enjoy every day. With 3,200 dairy farming families across Ontario sharing our love for milk,

there's love in every glass. Dairy Farmers of Ontario. from our families to your table, Everybody Milk. Visit Milk.org to learn more. Anyway, today's episode, I do have an idea and I even did research. Today's episode is called Florida or No Florida? I have in front of me a series of websites and lists that I have compiled using internet research of Florida man stories, but some of them take place outside of Florida. A lot of them do take place in Florida, less than half, I'll be honest, less than half, but a good chunk of them, like 40% of them, take place in other places.

And the entire game is we're going to talk about funny Florida man stories and you guys have to guess Florida or no Florida. So is it possible that these people have been to Florida, caught Florida, left and then done something? I will say I'm conflicted but I've made a decision. One of them is a story about a person who is from Florida, but takes place in like Massachusetts. And I'm qualifying, I'm classifying that as no Florida. Wow, okay. Because it's about the location specifically. Because you can take the man out of Florida,

but you can't take the Florida out of the man. So that's interesting. I know, I know. Well, look, I've got to be honest. It was not as easy to find Florida man stories that weren't just in Florida as I thought it would be. Turns out most of the crazy shit happens in Florida. It's basically a pandemic down there, but I think it is starting to spread a little bit. I don't think they really cared that much about the

pandemic. I think they pretty much just kept drinking. Well, different kind. Florida man pandemic. Florida mandemic. I said it, but you get the points. Like shout out to Sharknado, but Florida get the points Like shat at the sharknado, but Lord of man, floredo Flora I hate that for reasons that I can't quite describe. What's wrong with flora? Oh, it's like a drink a tornado Florida man all in one. It's what plants crave Loro aid now you lose a point for flora way. I dodged that one I weaved right in there weaved right out for the point loss. Mark inception the shit out of you on that one.

I choose to give my lost point to Mark. No, I give it back to you just to spite you. All right, first story. A couple, there's a man and a woman, the woman got pregnant. And as is common, they decided to throw a gender reveal party. And they decided on a budget,

here's how we're gonna to do the gender reveal. We're going to go to our local park, catch a few pigeons, they don't really run away they just hang out and you can just grab them with your hands. We're going to paint them pink because it's a girl and then we're just going to go back to that park and dump those pigeons right back where we caught them. No harm no foul, pigeons back home, everybody happy. You may be seeing in your head the flaw in this plan that the day after the party, people at the park called authorities because there were a handful of bright pink pigeons hanging around in a place

where they're usually just normal pigeons. Were they still alive? They were apparently fine. I guess pigeons are not susceptible to spray paint. I don't know, poisoning. Well if you get it with lead based paint they cancel out the negative. Right. The lead based paint cancels out the lead in the water. Everybody's fine. Anyway, this man and this woman who had such a beautiful gender reveal I can only imagine,

what really I don't understand is if the point was to release the pink pigeons to be like, it's a girl. Why'd they still have them? They brought them back to the park. The pigeons didn't go anywhere. Oh, yeah Wait, did the pigeons not fly away or did they just like have them in a cage and be like look they're pink I think they had a string on each foot and they held them up like a balloon and they're like Get one for each party goer. Everybody grab your pigeons. No don't inflate them! Noooo! Yeah I'm trying to figure out what the point of painting them pink even was if they were just gonna like...

Cause it was a girl Wade. What did they do with the pigeons? He said what they did with the pigeons. You've seen gender reveal parties right? It's like there's like a firework and the guy's like light the firework and the guys like light the fireworks And it blows up and it's blue and that means it's a boy and also it lights a wildfire in California That was a California story. Yeah, they just keep them in a cage. They just be like look pink pigeons. Like yeah, what's the It's unclear the the story the news story says that allegedly they dropped those pigeons back off at the park where they captured them.

What did they do with them in the meantime? They were pink. I don't know. But in what context? Was it like they started eating a cake and pink pigeons came out of the cake like strippers? The police were like, we don't need to know that to know what they did to these pigeons. Yeah, I feel like this isn't the important details to realize about this story. If you think about it in context, they caught these pigeons with their bare hands at a public park. The pigeons, I guess, aren't that worried about it.

They didn't go, they didn't fly away when humans came lunging at them to grab them. Once they were pink, they were like, ah, there's bread here. If this is Florida and they're Florida man pigeons, they're like, dude, we've seen worse than this. Getting painted pink, day that ends in Y. Wade's doing some sleuthing on this one. I'm saying it's not Florida because the plan was perfectly executed. It was completed.

At whatever the hell they did. Usually Florida man stories end in, and then obviously it was a horrible disaster dozens are dead that's true well the pigeons could still end up dead from where we were at the end of the Bob's tale everything dies but mezzo mori am I right and these pigeons they let people catch them they're chill like I said they've seen some shit these are Florida pigeons this is a Florida man story all right we locked those answers in.

Mark says no Florida. Wade says Florida. Oh, it's Florida. The correct answer is, of course those were Florida pigeons. What the fuck? Thank you. The hell kind of pigeon.

Thank you. All right, you're right, Wade. Pig pigeons come from Florida. I just surprised nobody thought they were flamingos that escaped from the zoo and ended up in that park. There's some really short legged flamingos in the park. They're called babies. I said we found some pygmy flamingos. flamingos? oh boy.

It's a new species. Alright great episode Bob. That's not even the funniest one. This one is one of my favorites. It's just the headline even. The story is not even that good. Headline reads, Woman on Motorized Suitcase police on dramatic chase through airport. Apparently the story is there was a woman who had a flight and was at the airport early and decided

to go hit the bar and have a few drinks, quite a few drinks it seems like, and then tried to get on her flight. And she was so drunk that the gate attendant was like, you can't fly. Like this is your being a problem already. We're not gonna let you on the flight and this caused the woman to become quite upset she was like being belligerent towards the flight attendant gate attendant people they called the police who were in the airport police showed up hilariously on a bicycle and when the police got there the woman hopped on her electric motorized suitcase and gunned it which for some reason made the police officer

get on his bicycle and chase her slowly through the airport. And there was a call over the radio of the bike cop and he literally was like, yeah, we're about to have pursuit through terminal C, a woman on a black suitcase, bike in pursuit. And so that happened. There are motorized suitcases? Yeah, that's the thing that jumped out to me the most. I want that. It's like an electric scooter,

but it's like it's built into the suitcase. So you like sit on top of the suitcase and a little handlebar pulls up and then you're just like, weee. I have been doing airports all wrong all these years. I mean, it's a very new, this is like in the last couple of years I've started to see these.

It's very neat. Since the Segway, I think that all forms of motorized transport are valid considering I've tried a few oddball ones. I don't know if I can get behind the suitcase that you ride. Are you meant to ride it? Yeah, it's literally marketed as,

it's a suitcase that's also a scooter so you can ride it through the terminal or if you're crazy ride it from the airport to your destination It doesn't go that fast. This is not like you go 20 miles an hour This is like a scooter that would be perfectly safe to use inside in an airport terminal goes like a few miles an hour tops Drivers are gonna be so annoyed with that to deal with a bike lane and a luggage lane? Bike lane, scooter lane, skateboard lane AND luggage lane? Come on California, there's only one question we need to answer. Florida or no Florida? I have a question before we answer that question.

What airline? It's actually Southwest. NOT FLORIDA! Florida's not Southwest, idiot! That is correct. That is very true. I'm pretty sure Florida is southeast. Man, I asked the right questions here. Sorry, Wade. Well, Wade, I guess you lose. I think I've also got to go not Florida, but only because this took place in an airport,

and that means that this person got far enough into an airport and is allowed in an airport. It's hard to believe that they could really be true Florida man. Probably not anymore. This might be their Florida man, Florida woman incident. You think it's like a coming of age thing where everyone has like their Florida man ritual they've got to do? You get banned from the liquor store, you get expelled from school, you get banned from the airport. Those are the three tenets of being a Florida person. Like that truth or dare Jenga game where it's like the Florida man like what are you gonna have to do? Let's play Jenga to find out. You must low speed chase through airport on luggage. Anyway what's your answer Wade? Stop stalling. Not Florida. Not Florida.

This traumatic police chase took place in the Orlando airport in Florida. Not Florida. This dramatic police chase took place in the Orlando airport in Florida what Southwest doing there? I honestly don't know that was a big mislead and I was conflicted about this one because the woman was flying home From Florida, so she is not Florida woman. She is from elsewhere, but this is a Florida woman story. I'm going to say it is Florida. No points on that one, but yeah, that's Florida. I could tell she wasn't true Florida, though. She got too far into the airport. All right. This next one is simple. We'll get to the bottom of it real quick. A man was driving on the interstate with his dog in the car, but no other

people and was fairly intoxicated. You could tell they were drunk from outside the car, was swerving or driving erratically, whatever. This man eventually gets pulled over on the interstate while the cop is like pulling him over and getting out of his car and stuff. The guy has a brainwave, thinks and acts quickly, switches seats with his dog, puts the dog in the driver's seat and he climbs into the passenger seat. And when the cop comes and knocks on the window and sees that the dog, it's clearly the one driving, the man is still got in trouble for drunk driving. But he almost got away with it.

Question, what was the car? It was a Ford Ranger pickup truck. And the man was like dressed and everything, like wasn't naked. Yeah, no interesting facts about the man. He just had some drinks and then was driving and being irresponsible. And the dog was also not otherwise remarkable. I have an inclination here.

I'm going to say not Florida. I'm going to go as far as to say not Florida. Yes, Kentucky. Damn. Maybe you've heard of this story before or something. Is that what this is? No, it just gives me a listen, man. I didn't abandon Ohio and I'm used to Kentucky, man.

Okay, wow. Okay, all right. Well, okay. All right. Yeah, you know. I'm going to give you an abandoning Ohio point, Mark, since you did that so much. Okay, wait, hold on. I thought I was getting this.

I own it. I own it. That's on me. That's on me, guys. Anyway, being here, I just, I got the vibe, man. I felt it. I'm going me. That's on me, guys. Anyway, being here, I just I got the vibe, man. I felt it. I'm going to play the odds. Not Florida, because at this point, I'm so deep into the not Florida. I have to hit it.

Bob's going to only give Florida stories. I'm going to be honest. I did consider that, except this story took place in Colorado. Hey, you know what? Kentucky, Colorado. That's a bonus point for you, when a bonus, I'll take a bonus. What do I get?

Nothing. I didn't give him a bonus. But I said almost so. But a bonus was pretty funny. This one's a little rude, but it's also kind of funny just for the situation. A man lived with his parents after separating from his

wife and was not doing well. The separation was hard on him. He was struggling with it. Eventually he had quite a fair amount to drink, got kind of belligerent. His parents were trying to calm him down. He ended up getting his hands on a weapon of some sort. It's unclear the news is not specific. Stormed out of his parents' house and was drunk and left. And so his parents were concerned and they called the police. And the police showed up to the house

and were like, are you guys okay? They were assessing the situation. And the parents said, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're fine, but we're concerned about our son. He was drinking tonight. We had a weapon in the house that he got his hands on and then he just left and he was angry and were worried He's gonna do something or that he might drive a car or something and the police like, okay. Okay

What does it look like and they're like, oh, he's wearing Like, you know jeans like a red t-shirt, whatever. Oh and he's Quadruple amputee. There's no arms or legs. So pretty distinctive You'll probably recognize him and the police put out a bolo that said man belligerent possibly drunk consider armed and dangerous which just feels a little insensitive i am assuming it's a gun i have no idea and i'm it's unclear also to me how he left i'm assuming he had like a wheelchair some kind of mobility device that he was able to do anyway he ended up being fine they found him nothing happened. He was just having a bad time with

a tough divorce and had some drinks and wasn't handling well, but it's okay. And they found him and got him home. No one got hurt. No arms and no legs. Quadruple amputee. It's not described as complete amputations. And so it could have been at the wrist, at the elbow. That doesn't mean he had no limbs whatsoever, but it does mean each of his limbs was amputated to some extent, and it's not very specific. He was able to carry a weapon of some kind and he was able to leave. Well, he had a marriage, I guess I can't say successful. He had a marriage, he was going through a hard time. Everyone goes through hard times.

Perhaps if he had medical procedures done, they were done well enough where he is okay. His medical status was not a part of the story. Had parents that were still together, that leads me to say not Florida. We have a lot of biases against Florida, I'm realizing as I talk up this out. What, an episode about judging Florida,

biases against Florida, what? I'm like, man, there's some good stuff about this guy So can't be Not Florida this feels very Florida. It's got a whiff of Florida to it I can smell the swamps I can I detect a little bit of Floridian in here. That's fair. It's a stank All right answers locked in. Yes. It's in Florida. Yes. I'm finally killer all in my way back. I'm getting crushed. You really played the odds on that one.

I played the odds on well, no, it smelled Florida. I don't know what it is, but that just seems like something that would take place in Florida. It ended too well. Like he was fine. Nothing major happened. It was just like Florida man stories are like guy guy gets shot three times in gutless shotgun, goes to football game, ends up on roller coaster. Police baffled as to how he did all of this while bleeding out.

I mean, doesn't this sound like it? If you didn't read it like he did, Bob might've read it, you know, like, armless legless Florida man goes on drunk bender after messy divorce. Armed? Question mark? Aha parentheses. goes on drunk bender after messy divorce armed question mark aha parentheses that was very much more of the tone that the actual article I was pulling this the article was like it didn't have any arms

armed and dangerous guys you know fair enough this is not a hint I'm just gonna say this next one Greeks of Florida a 20 year old man was wanted on multiple warrants involving some kind of violent acts, not good things. This person was wanted by the police for some pretty serious stuff, but was on the run. They had not found him, but they had like a picture. They knew his name, they had a picture, they knew who this guy was. And as part of their manhunt They posted on the police department's social media on Facebook and on wherever they posted and they were like

We're wanted by this by the police. This is the guy's name. He's 20 years old. He's 5 foot 10. He's 140 pounds Here's his picture. If you see him or if you know him, please call us and be careful He might be dangerous a bunch of people commented like they do and one of the comments reads, y'all almost had me the other day. You gotta be quicker than that. The suspect wrote from his own personal Facebook account with his own picture and name on it. That was clearly actually his account. The police responded and were like, hey, you better get in here. What are you doing? And he responded to their comment and said, What do I get if I turn myself in? It turns out

you get nothing. You get arrested. There was no reward to him for turning himself in. I really need the money. I guess I'll turn me in. I found him officer. They found him. He was just like hiding out at a friend's house. It was not spectacular. They found him. He was just like hiding out at a friend's house. It was not spectacular. They found him and he just saw the post and was like, you almost had me. I just imagined that guy from that commercial with the big fishing pole with the dollar on it and he's like, oh, you want a dollar? You got to be quicker than that. It's like an insurance commercial from the 2000s or something.

When you were saying like this one reeks of Florida it does doesn't it it does and if it looks like a Florida if it smells like a Florida if it feels like a Florida I gotta go with Florida I'm not gonna let any bias get in there I'm thinking that if you didn't say that at all I'd be 100% Florida so I'm gonna stick with that not Florida I would have given you more descriptions but I really had to sneeze. Nah, you just sneezed for references, I got it. It landed. Alright, this took place, and wait, this is gonna make us look really good.

This took place in Ohio. The Florida of the North. Hey, we are Florida man before they get old, retire, and go to Florida. Yeah, that's fair. Ohio is more of like a you know, like a dark fantasy versus the fan of the whimsical fantasy of Florida Ohio has all the like terrible monsters and those like that I also knew this story cuz that was my cousin that would be really funny. I like this one, too These are all fun stories, you know This is the story of a 26 year old woman who is just dropping her friend off down the police station.

Her friend contacted her and was like, hey, I need to go to the police station. Um, can you give me a ride? And the woman was like, I'm a good friend. I can definitely give you a ride. Let's go. And they got in her SUV and she drove down to the police station and dropped her friend off and then proceeded to drive into the parking garage of the police station into an area that was pedestrians only down

Several staircases and ended up getting stuck down at the bottom of these staircases in an area That's not car sized because it's for people to walk in because it's stairs And when the is it at the police station, where the police came and talked to the woman and she was like, listen, my bad. I was just following what my GPS told me to do. And the police were like, ah, we think it might be because you're super drunk right now. Let's take you inside and figure this out.

Was she? She was incredibly drunk. This is not the highest blood alcohol level in my list of stories, but she was more than twice the legal limit, according to this news article. So her decision was while drunk, let's drive already terrible. That's as bad as it can get. But let's also drive to the police station. A safe destination.

She heard there was a reward for turning herself in. She was like, I gotta get in on that. This one feels like it could be anywhere, but she's a Florida gal. Waits picking up something. No, I also say Florida because- Well, well, well, where's the balls on this one? Right, I don't know man, I don't know man.

Oh, they're shrinking. Oh, they're gone. I knew it. The excuse is what gets it to me. The excuse feels Florida. I believe Florida. What do you think an Ohio woman would have just been like, oh, you got me.

I drank, sir. I think what he's saying is the GPS was also drunk and that only happens in Florida. It's water cooling was twice the limit. Look, man, if there's a voice pack for like a drunk... Do you feel... Take a left and... I don't know, like a little bit. You missed it!

Turn around! Make a U-turn! MAKE A U-TERN! It's, I know where, I know where it is. It's up here on the right. Left. It's on the left. I think.

It's like a, there's like a street side. Yeah, being the left to go right, it feels really weird, but do it. Pull over, I don't feel very good. All right, you're both right. That took place in Florida. How could it not? I understand it now. Well, I like this one. This one, the headline's not so flashy, but the story's pretty good. This one is there's a man in his 20s who stole a truck, caught stealing the truck. Police were called.

Police pursued this person in the truck and he's driving and gets onto a street where there's like a police blockade ahead of him. He sees there's police parked up. He's being chased by police. He's done for. But he has an idea. He stops the truck and bails out and hops on his skateboard. Interesting side note, this man was wearing a high visibility construction worker vest. Could not be more visible in the evening dusk setting sun. He got on a skateboard while surrounded on all sides by buildings and police in cars. Did he escape on the skateboard?

No. No, he did not. He literally hopped on the skateboard and skated right at the blockade and the cops were just like, uh, and pushed him over and arrested him. And he got in trouble for stealing the truck because that's not allowed. Anyway, I just love that he's wearing, there's a picture of him like post arrest from like a news, whatever, people somewhere nearby. He's literally wearing one of those bright yellow with retro reflective tape vests that you can see from two miles away that guys wear when they're working on the highway at night. Even if he could get past the cops, they could see him

from everywhere. This greedy asshole had a skateboard and thought he needed to steal a car too. How many wheels do you need? What if the skateboard was in the stolen car? Maybe it was just fortuitous. He just happened to know how to skateboard and stole a truck with a skateboard and it was like, there's no way they'll stop me He's got a getaway contingency for his getaway. Yeah. Well clearly it worked out so well It's how could you explain that there's construction everywhere

All he has to do is hop out and he'll blend in he hops out with a shovel and he's just like Taking the road. What are you guys doing? Officer stand back gas leak All right to get here as quickly as possible. Emergency road gas leak problem in the. It's fine. I think that this one has all the hallmarks of Florida and I'm already locking it in, but I'm going to explain it. It has a multi-step plan. All these Florida man or Florida woman things have multi-step plans. They have an

objective and then they circumvent when obstacles get in their way and they have a funky escape vehicle. I think this has every hallmark of a Florida. I do too, except skateboarding in Florida is pretty hot. Not Florida. Pretty hot already. I feel like what you want is hot weather outside or skateboarding. You want warm weather. Well, okay, that seems like a narrow distinction, but okay. Anyway, despite your flawed reasoning, Wade, this took place in Los Angeles. No, it was Mark. Los Angeles, the Florida of California. Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Are you sure it wasn't Florida? Are you sure? It says in the news article that this was the LAPD and it happened in downtown LA. I thought I was trying to mask it a little bit. Part of the reason he couldn't get away

except for the two ends of the street was it was on a bridge like an overpass in LA, right? It was it's a very city thing where it's like he was on an overpass where there's literally nothing on either side And you have to go one way or the other and the cops had him fully surrounded at this point because in a normal situation He could have like run through the into a building or through the buildings, but he he had no choice But to skateboard I knew this had a Pacific kind of like Feel yeah, there's no warm weather in Florida. It's hot in LA. It's too hot to skateboard in Florida Damn, it's worse in Atlanta if it's worse It's just as hot ish in LA kind of but not as human. No, I'm

Slightly more tolerable you were wrong, but also you were right. It's just annoying This episode is brought to you by Melissa and Doug. Wooden puzzles and building toys for problem solving and arts and crafts for creative thinking. Melissa and Doug makes toys that help kids take on the world because the way they play today shapes who they become tomorrow. Melissa and Doug, the play is pretend. The skills are real. Look for Melissa and Doug wherever you shop for toys.

Alright, I like this one because it's an intrusive thought that I've totally had before. A man and a woman were arrested at a Walmart because they walked into the store, got a cart, were doing some shopping, got hungry, grabbed a rotisserie chicken, ate half of it, decided they were full, and put the rotisserie chicken back on the heating shelf where they keep those so that someone else could enjoy the other half of the meal. Turns out Walmart did not take too kindly to this, they called the cops, they were arrested for I assume the crime of eww or something like that. I've definitely had that thought. I've had times, you know, you go to Costco and you're a little

hungry because it's like you haven't had lunch or something and rotisserie chicken smells really good. What a foul play. Negative point. They left a paltry amount of meat on the bone. Take it easy. You're really burning. You're burning a lot of points on this right now. Calm down. They got the five feathered disc. Oh man, I can't do it. Let's just drop this right now guys. It's just a warning. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

I'm gonna let you off easy. Like they knew in Florida, the finger licking bandits. Florida or no Florida? Here's the problem. Walmart is the Florida of stores. So any Walmart is capable of having this happen. I know, but they're everywhere. I know of three Walmarts within half an hour

of my house in Ohio. They're everywhere. But like the Walmart vibe is definitely a thing. I mean, hell, I walked through a Walmart one time, like 10 years ago, and I feel like I farted through three straight aisles. Like weird things just happened to you in Walmart Why would you don't have why did you did that you chose to do that?

Why did you do that my body chose to do it man just wouldn't stop you're what's wrong with Walmart is what you're saying Yeah, wait, why did you I went into Walmart and I just started stealing stuff I just want to let you know man Walmart is the place that that stuff happens. It changes you It's like the full moon for a werewolf. It brings out something in you to be in a Walmart. You just felt permission to behave like that because you have preconceived notions about Walmart. People fart dude, it happens.

Yeah, but you don't have to. This crop does three consecutive aisles. I thought it would end. God, was one fart? Yeah dude, it was just one fart. Yeah, dude. You knocked me out. I was being propelled. I was on my skateboard just like... This feels not quite Florida manny enough.

But that's exactly why it probably was Florida. I'm gonna go with Florida. This is obvious. And you're dumb. Except you're right in that it's Florida because I can see the headline of something something eating chicken leaving in there ew gross I like the ew gross in the headline ew gross by John Scott this took place in Tampa Bay, Florida. JP did this.

I thought you guys said Tampa Bay, North Dakota. That would be a hell of a twist. Tampa Bay, France. It's pronounced, how would you pronounce that in a bad French accent? Tampa Bay. Yeah, that's French. That's, that's, that's.

None of those syllables are French. Lay Tampa Bay. Yeah, lay Tampa Bay. There you go, perfect. Lay Tampa Bay. Yeah, Le Tampa Bay. There you go, perfect. Le Tampa Bay. Anyway, it's really close, but also I'm gonna make this last one worth four points. That's an oddly specific amount of points.

It's super close. If it's so close, why does it need to be such a big number? Why do I feel like I'm down and you're giving me a chance? No, no, you're right, Mark. That's too generous. Here, how about this? The main question, I'm gonna make that worth two points.

If you can guess either which city in Florida it happened in or which other state it happened in, that's bonus points, two bonus points. And it's, we'll do closest city in Florida. So it doesn't have to be like the exact one. I'll look on a map and we'll decide. You're really steering this toward being in Florida. I don't know.

I just, I, I was like, it'll be whichever state, but if it's, if it's in Florida, I don't think you should get bonus points for being in Florida. This is not, I'm not trying to give it away. I'm just trying to cover my basis. Anyway, the headline reads Amazon delivery driver Really needed to make sure they didn't get another write-up at work then Amazon delivery driver walked through an active shooter scene where police were like circled up and

dealing with an active well not an active shooter, but someone who had a gun and was like holed up and the police were trying to arrest them and they were like don't come in or I'll start blasting sort of thing. So the Amazon driver pulled up to the scene and was like if I don't deliver this package, Gary's gonna fucking write me up again. I'm gonna get unpaid leave, gonna get demerits on my on my personnel thought whatever and so this Amazon driver With it's a tiny package. It's one of those like small smallest boxes Amazon has there's a video of them Very casually walking past all the police car all the cops are kind of like wait stop What the shit and they just keep going up to the there's like up to the house

Next to the one that the person they're dealing with is in just leaves the package takes the picture walks casually back past all the cops to the Amazon truck just really really wanted to make sure delivery got there it was two day prime shipping didn't want to cause any problems this is fucked but my member of my imagination was he goes to the house. The guy's in is like, it says that there's like munitions in here. You have to sign for this. Who ordered the five grenades? Was it you crazy story?

But there's only one question that matters. I guess there's two on this one. But the first question that matters is Florida or no Florida. And it's the Florida. No Florida is worth two points. I am going to say not Florida. Okay. Since you're committed to not Florida, do you want to lock in a guess

for what state this took place in? Just so you have all your answers in at one time. I'm feeling like a New England-y vibe here. That's not a state? I'll be more specific, I guess. Maine, Vermont, do we have a shoot? I'll be more specific. I guess in Vermont Hold on I'm definitely not gonna eat emini mighty Moses. I know which state I think this is which one is it That's really the only thing that matters

Massachusetts where you try to think what state is fucking Boston in that whole time and you couldn't remember. Oh, no I'm familiar with Massachusetts. Okay, Massachusetts. Got it. Locked in. This is a trick. It's a trick. Splitting up into two parts and giving out extra points for identifying what state it actually is. Sounds like it's... Or what city in Florida. Or what city in Florida. I forgot about that part.

Okay, the trick is falling apart. For my eyes. It's a trick that's not tricky at all. This is Florida and I know so many cities in Florida Well, I've already said a couple during this episode I will pick Jacksonville, oh I didn't even say that one yet mark knows so many cities. All right I told you I knew so many cities Jacksonville is home to a lot of Florida man stories. I think he's trying to trick me

I will not be tricked mark is locked in to yes, Florida Jacksonville Wade is locked into no, Florida Massachusetts this took place in Raleigh, North Carolina a city I lived in for seven years. So Wade gets two points, but no bonus points, and Mark, you're just actually flat out wrong. I don't think I've ever guessed worse in a game like this ever in my life. I think I did. I only get two. Have I only gotten two? You got four. Okay.

But two of those both of you got. That doesn't really help you. I don't know that I got that many more right? Well we'll find out because I'm about to read what you got points for. Mark you earned points for Saving Bacon, Abandoned Ohio, Dog UI, Quadruple Amputee, Police Station DUI, and Finger Licking Bandits. Oh by the way the person whose name I read first is the loser amputee, police station DUI, and finger licking bandits. Oh, by the way, the person whose name I read first is the loser today. Wade, you got points for breeding Hanabes,

Minolta lens, Florida mandemic, pink pigeons, faithful to Ohio. You also got the dog UI. You got gotta be quicker than that. You also got the dog UI. You got, gotta be quicker than that. You also got PlayStation DUI. You got LA Skateboard Man. Foul Play got you minus one point. So you actually have minus one point.

There was another chicken pun that you said that got you another minus point, but I didn't write down what it was. But you also got point for Three Isle Fart, Finger Licking Bandits, and you just got Amazon standoff. Mark, your efforts today gained you seven points. And Wade, your efforts today gained you 13 points.

Jesus Christ. Minus two. Oh! Which means that you still won with 11 points. Wait, did you think 13 minus two was gonna be less than eight? I don't know what episode you were listening to Wade the whole time Mark was like oh my god I'm getting my ass kicked you

were like no you're not we're doing the same. I really thought we were. I was getting crushed every guess. I was like man Mark and I are guessing the same thing every time. You had two that you both got the rest of them Mark got two and you got six? Well, two of those were the last one, right? I only got two other ones he didn't. No, those aren't points. Those are things you got right. Oh, no, no, Mark and I were basically the same.

You got five and Mark got two and you both tied on two of them. Yeah, what's crazy is I was telling you as it was happening, the whole show, like I'm getting destroyed fuck on loose and gone. I still don't believe you. I really appreciate the ride or die mentality. That's great. I just wanted you to feel like you were in it man. We are in this together Mark just like a construction worker on a skateboard. We're going to ride this out.

Anyway congratulations Wade and Mark I think you saw this coming from a long ways away even though Wade didn't understand what was happening But you really did try buddy and I appreciate it You know what somehow your reasons for your guesses were better than Wade's but you were also less correct than him Which is just disappointing. Can the reasons really be better if I was right? Oh yeah, Mark Loser speech. I apologize for my performance this one. It just wasn't my day. I wasn't on my A game. I tried to use my brain. That should be a lesson I take into the future. I just can't relate to the Floridian experience apparently and I've lost my Ohio roots and I will hereby retire in disgrace from my dishonorable discharge from this podcast

I accept your retirement and your disgrace Wade winter speech Thank you, Bob for another fun one. I don't know why Mark said he got destroyed I feel like we're really close for neck and neck. We have been the whole time I feel like that's exaggerated probably within like one point of each other Honestly, if we're not tied as an Ohio man, I've got a lot of connections to Florida and Florida men. I hang out with a couple regularly, so I can tell the Florida vibe, because I live the Florida vibe. Because Ohio is just Florida that's not retired yet.

That's very true. Very sage of you. Good wisdom you're dropping on us or something. Anyway, congratulations, Wade. That means you're hosting the next episode. You can find us on socials. I am myskerm. Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777. Wade is Markiplier? That's it. I had to withdraw from my own channel. Yeah, Mark's quitting everything. He's gone. Say goodbye, everybody. Yeah, Mark is Markiplier. We have merch. DistractibleStore.com. That's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for watching. Make sure you follow the podcast

because then your phone or your tablet or whatever will tell you. You can only watch it on Spotify though, so you better watch it on Spotify. I thought I had something else to say. I don't, because the podcast is over. That's the end. Okay, bye.

Podcast out. Editors, blow us up.