Distractible - Glauber Salt

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Morkish Mark makes the meers happy, motivates the men to main Mirablite, and questions the species of Santa. Well-advised Wade goes full thespian, simmers in the sun, erates orkishness, and tenaciously tangents. Belittled Bob admits he controls reality, cleaves unto perfect cleavage, and stays on point for physics. From shambolic Shakespeare to freezing balls. Heheheheeeees. It's time for...

Glauber salt. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Good morrow to you lovely listeners and beautiful watchers. Welcome to Distractable. My name is Markiplier here to be your host because I'm the winner of the last episode and each time there's a new winner it crowns a new host of the podcast. So today it's going to be my episode and you're already confused by the name of the episode, I'm sure, but we'll get into that in just a second before we meet our contestants today. Bob and Wade! Hi.

He jests its scars never felt a wound, but soft what light the yonder window breaks, this the east and distractible is the sun. Keep going. Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon who's already sick and pale with grief that that her maid hath far more fath than she. Be not her maid since she is envious. Her vest deliveries with thick and green. Cast it off! Tis my lady, oh, tis my love, oh, that she knew she were.

She speaks, yet says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses, I will answer it. I am too bold. Tis not to me, she speaks. Keep going? I don't know the rest, that's all I had memorized. Ah, well, you don't get a point.

You didn't know the whole, nah, I'll give you a chance. I'm sorry, Mrs. Williams, ninth grade English class. That's all I got, man. When was 9th grade? 10 years ago? You wish. Bob, what plays in poetry can you pull out of your ass? Remember that it is not the spoon that bends. It is you. Huh? That's the only part- I don't have a good memory. What do you want me to- No, that's fine. That's good. Well, I'm not gonna give you a point for it. Dude. Where's my car? Look, I'm only gonna give you a comp. It's like I give points based on confidence today

So it's gotta be a lot of confidence. That's tough tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow creeps in this pity pace from day to day the last little recorded Time and all yesterdays and let it fools the way to dusty death out out brief candle blah blah blah blah fucking blah I'm ready to dusty death. Out out brief candle. Blah blah blah blah fucking blah Don't remember the rest That'll give me a point for blah blah blah blah fucking that's that's nice. All right All right, I think it might have still been an iambic pentameter. Just wait when I win this episode We're gonna do a whole episode just for the viewers. I've got an idea Ah ha ha ha It's a tape

This look I got an idea guys No audio for the rest of this episode We're just gonna be learning sign language We will sadly be trying to teach each other the goal is to tell a knock-knock joke in sign language at the end of the episode What's new in you guys life anything you want to bring up any complaints any? Trash talk for your component opponent before things get really violent. I'm moving not we're not moving the house We're not moving the house. We're staying here. I'm so confused. This room won't be my office in a minute. I'm moving my office into the basement probably two or three episodes from now. This will all be different and I'll be in a different room because this

is becoming Mandy's office I think. We could be neighbors. I'm also a basement office. Dude I'm so excited for a basement office. Our basement is so cold. Literally every office I've had with my two computer setup has been just so hot that I've had to like get an AC, like a window AC unit. But the basement, the cold, cold basement. It's my dreams finally coming true. That's wonderful. It's not even an unfinished basement. It's got drywall and everything. It's gonna be great, guys.

That does sound great. That's the thing about LA that I miss is like there aren't really many basements around here and basements are so incredibly useful because they stay colder just because the ground is almost always colder than anything else so usually because the walls are in contact with the dirt there it stays cool. There's radon apparently but that's a whole other thing. You just need a thing that makes noise every three minutes and then you won't have radon anymore.

Hey, there's mitigation systems you can get and replace. And then you just have to mitigate your mitigation system once it mitigates itself. Sorry, I just came across a piece of news that just made me laugh really hard. That was a mild laugh at best, but go on. It's holding it back. McDonald's rebrands Happy Meal as just the meal for mental health awareness week.

I'm sorry, that's just very funny to me. The meal with no happiness? Why is that good for mental health? I think it's like an intention grabbing thing, like, you know, not all meals are happy. Okay, so it's like getting, it's like a toxic, toxic happiness acknowledgement of like, it can't always be happy. I'm hoping in practice, a little kid goes up to order a Happy Meal, Like a toxic happiness acknowledgement of like, I can't always be happy. I'm hoping in practice,

a little kid goes up to order a happy meal and they're like, sorry, we don't have those this week. They just punch the kid in the face, just, here's your meal. But where's the toy? It's not a happy meal, kid. It's just a meal. It's just a plastic bag with shards of glass in it

and like, ching ching. This is actually a completely cynical money saving tactic for me now Now if they're not happy anymore, we don't have to give them toys or anything. The box can be monochrome. You know how much we could save on printing if all those cardboard boxes are basically just gray? Back to the topic at hand. Wade, how's your life? I got a complaint. What I hate the Sun That's fair. Actually, I was at the pool the other day put on some sunscreen went swimming. Everything went great yesterday My nephews came over we played some basketball. It was 94 degrees I took off my shirt We were all like just kind of like shirtlessly playing basketball cuz it was really really hot didn't put on any sunscreen

Turned into a lobster last night. My shoulders are killing me, chest, I'm very sore. Partially from being out of shape mostly, because the fucking sun betrayed me. I was like, it's not like I'm gonna be facing one direction the whole time, I'll be spinning around, I'll give that half of me a break from the sun, it'll chill, back warm up, turn around, I'll be good to go again.

Three hours apparently of no sunscreen in the sun and you get a little sun burnt. And I'm not here for it. The sun's supposed to enter, like plants are in the sun all the time, you don't see them dying. You know, that's a good point. I think it's probably because plants spend the majority

of their time in the sun and you do not, so you're not prepared. I spent most of my basketball time in the Sun yesterday. You sure did. You absolutely sure did. You know there's a lot of Sun slander going on these days on on the internet and whatnot and just because you know it can cause cancer and such as the like as thus the Sun. The only reason we're here is the Sun. Oh I'm sorry Are you putting down my small talk? I'm putting it down because I don't want anyone to put down the Sun because at any moment that that Sun bitch could blast

Just a lance of solar material straight at Earth obliterate us. You know what sir? You are jesting at scars that did feel a wound. Yeah, you know what? I am. If you had treated your sun exposure like, say, a marathon, right? And you gradually increase your sun exposure over a period of time, your body has a mechanism to create a natural shield against the sun.

I was in the sun in the pool with some sunscreen. That was, that was my stepping stone. You trained for one day. I did. It was literally the day before too, so like I knew I was ready. But now I'm all sticky and slimy feelings. I have to put on that like after sun aloe stuff.

So before we started rolling, I was like, yeah. I mean, you don't have to slop it on in big handfuls. You don't have to buy it by the Costco bucket. I just reach in there there scoop and throw. Wherever it ends up on me, that part gets sudden treatment. I hate when I have to fill my bathtub with aloe then dunk myself in it for a brief moment. Listen, I know it hurts, but sweeter the uses of adversity,

which like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head. I say that quote all the time, man. I appreciate you saying that. That's great. There's something about a toad jewel, I don't know. I say that quote all the time, man. I appreciate you saying that. That's great. That's something about a toad jewel. I don't know. I have small talk.

Wait, I save this away. We control the universe. This just in. Distractable, controls everything. Everyone listens and watches. You heard it here first. A couple episodes ago, I don't remember which one, but I complained.

Oh, it's the Dumb of Humanity episode, I think. I complained about drive-thrus that have ice cream handing you the ice cream cone first. I swear to God, I went, it was a warm summer evening, I went and picked up Dairy Queen, and I was at the window at Dairy Queen, and the person in the window had the ice cream cone in their hand and was all, whoop,

and looked at me and was like, wait a minute. And they gave me everything else, and then gave me the ice cream cone in their hand and was all whoop and looked at me and was like wait a minute and they gave me everything else and then gave me the ice cream cone last and I was like what if we caused a memo to go around all the ice cream places they're like distractibles onto us we gotta change it up boys so they do listen and any or every other Dairy Queen and ice cream place in the world you're on notice now it's possible can be done we changed the world boys looks like creams back on the menu boys Shakespeare unfortunately I was about to give you a point and then Wade said creams back on the menu so I just diverted your entire small talk point to Wade there Wow that's tough I didn't know points were such a premium I thought we could both have a dip in there

All right. I have today's episode you guys already. I'm a little worried, but yeah, yeah, you're not prepared for this two words Glauber's salt Oh Glauber wait, I know this Glauber beautiful salt it is it is a beautiful salt, but that's not it's are they the little elves that make notes keyboard We make cookies, but with much less joy I just type clauber elves into Google instead of clauber saw Google literally was like zero there are zero things what the fuck is that anyone want to take a random guess at? What I'm talking about here? Guess you'd have to know how to spell it first before you could even are you talking about?

mirabilite or hydrosodium sulfate mineral chemical formula na2 so for 10 h2o. Oh my god I am but I'll give Wade a chance to actually pronounce it. Wait a second. Wait Glauber salt Oh Shrapnel o sulliphate say the same thing you just said again twice and I'll believe you. Pfft. Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. Ah. Chaperone... Sulphate. Not gonna- I don't even remember what you said, but I know it wasn't that. Alright, so, Glauber's salt, right? Also known as Mirabilite. Mirabilite, I believe it's Mirabilite, right?

This is the future. And I'm just chucking it out there. This is a two-word topic episode. I can't wait to hear about Glauber's salt. Can I just say, I don't know anything about mineral-ology. Mineral- mineralogy. There's apparently a quality of minerals of crystal and minerals that's called cleavage and on the wikipedia for meravelyte the cleavage is described

as 100 perfect but also one pore and also 10 poor apparently there are three types of cleavage i have no idea hang on i'm going to the cleavage section of of Wikipedia. Okay, it's if I click on cleavage and you show me boobs I'm gonna be very disappointed with no, it's crystal. It's crystal. Oh oh I don't know Basil pina colo or planer the three types of cleavage. All right, I'm sharing my screen if people want to see some crazy cleavage Okay listeners i'm so sorry that's that i almost called you scott that mark is not sharing his Images with you but this is a viewer-only podcast now yeah this is a viewer-only oh hell yeah look at that hundred

It has perfect hundred cleavage okay so if those are the elves one is is Ernest J. Keebler, the other is J. J. Keebler. Yes, uh, wait, I'm giving you another attempt to repeat what you said earlier that you forgot. ... Just that blank expression, I really like it. Staplerite? Dude, there is rhombohedral cleavage. Alright, I'm putting away the cleavage. The cleavage is gone. Everyone can go back to just listening. The cleavage is gone.

JJ Keebler was the original king elf in 1969. The king elf? I thought that was Santa. Is Santa an elf? Because they say he's a jolly old elf, but in, you know, other things, he's kind of more human. If he's an elf, wouldn't he be kind of like a god elf? Like, he's big and he's like I don't know very human sized like JJ Keibler of the Keibler elves J is are you actually talking about someone not real but who has been made up but more officially?

What is real JJ Keibler? This is the real Keibler elves did I'm really I'm reading the real Wikipedia, which never is wrong Oh, oh, he's the he's the old Keebler with white hair okay I got it okay I see I see dude this isn't new the Chinese medicine has known about this since forever apparently mirabalite is used as an anti-inflammatory and a purgative it's always like a laxative Okay in traditional Chinese medicine and in Mandarin is called I'm not gonna try and pronounce that but something like mung Shao, I tried to pronounce it. I lied some guy named Johan Rudolph Glauber discovered discovered it and was like, oh, I've discovered something new

The Chinese were like what? Why do you think this is the future of humanity mark? What do you mean? It's clout We're salt. It appears to be a mineral apparently in 2019 Kellogg sold Keibler to Ferrero's pay For 1.3 billion dollars now the elves are gone for how much 1.3 billion How many elves how many elves died? I don't know doesn't say like went along with the deal Wait, how many elves? How many elves died? I don't know, it doesn't say. Like went along with the deal. Why did they kill him for a 1.3 billion dollars?

I don't know, Kellogg has two L's and two G's. I guess that was just too much for them to overcome. 1.3 billion dollars? For Keebler, the brand? Well, Keebler Cookies and other related brands. Maybe they kept some of it. Kellogg retained the rights to other Keebler products such as crackers.

They didn't even sell all the Keebler's and it made a 1.3 billion? Why aren't we in cookies? Why aren't we doing cookies guys? Well, Ferrero's pay is the one who has it. Why do you keep saying, what are you saying? SP and then capital A, it looks like spa, but the A is capitalized.

So I just assumed I was supposed to yell it. That's not a, well, I mean, it's a name, but it's also, it's clearly one of those after name things, but it just so happens to be Italian. Oh, what does SPA stand for? Special Ass? Probably something not in English. One of the world's most secretive firms. Wait, what the fuck? I'm totally derailing us and I love it. 38 trading companies, 18 factories, approximately 40,000 employees and produces 365,000 tons of Nutella Good damn. Oh in 1946 Pietro Ferreiro invented a cream of hazelnuts and cocoa He invented

The name of the thing that I just said it Nutella. Nutella? Yeah, but he originally called it super crema super crema Super crema super crema super crema Super that's a much cooler name. It's maybe more confusing and less I mean Nutella doesn't really mean that much. We just know what that is super crema is dope. Well anyway, that's that's great Good job wait, but Glauber salt this stuff doesn't seem that special. I'm just gonna come I'm gonna come right out and challenge you Gloubursalt. This stuff doesn't seem that special. I'm just gonna come I'm gonna come right out and challenge you What the fuck? Oh you lose a point. That's fine. That's fine There are some people out there listening right now that are that are creaming their genes for the the

Glauber salt mention. I mean look this it looks like this stuff is used for water softening because it's get removes calcium and magnesium Ions, which is fine. Looks like it has a high heat storage. So when it phase changes, it heats up really effectively. So like when you dissolve it in water, I assume that means it heats up the water. That's, well, that's not necessarily what it does, but you're on the right track, buddy. You're on the right track.

I'm telling you, Glauber salt is gonna solve every. Oh, are you talking about this in solar heat storage application is that what you're talking about i am yes other elves included friar tuk uh zoot jj ma keibler elmer keibler fast eddie i know i used to get mad when wade would just not even engage with us i I'm not mad I just have to respect how much he's having his own little episode right now and I love that for you It's it's the B plot, you know, the camera cuts away Professor Edison Larry and art anyway, Glauber salt

G la you be er Apostrophe s Glauber salt remember the name it's gonna change the world L-A-U-B-E-R- You're right. Yes. Yes. Go on go on well This doesn't seem to what his glower salt used in like heat exchangers or something like what are we talking about? Like is this cause almost almost you're getting closer Kepler started in Philly the first elf appeared in 1969 are you talking about this in the application of Electronics or is this a like a home heating type of application that you're concerned with. Oh no, get off the heat. Well, it's not heat, it's like temperature regulation. Well, it's gotta start with heat if you know what I mean. I don't.

Ollie and JJ got screwed because Ernie came in and just became the mascot. All right, fine. You want me to pull this? I'm literally, I'm Googling my brains out over here and I'm learning very back and forth. So this thing, this is very corrosive, which is not a good... Could be very derisive. This has very poor thermal conductivity,

apparently, which would mean it would not be good for a heat exchange application. No, no, no, no, no, not by itself. Wait, if you made a ginger dead man with this salt, would it be extra derisive? Oh, it'd be derisive it also probably stank because it's got sulfur in it. Alright I'm gonna tell you I've been watching YouTube videos. Oh more Kurtzgesagt? I know not at all no no no. Kepler's been around since 1853? I tell you I watched one video and it's changed my life right and it's all about Glauber's salt. It's Glauber's, right? And it's all about glabroussalt. It's glabroussalt all the way down, baby, because what you take, what you do, what you do, is you take glabroussalt,

and then you get a big pot of water, and then you put the glabroussalt, you boil the water, and you put glabroussalt in it, okay? And what you get is you get a substance that freezes, that goes solid at 90 degrees Fahrenheit. All of the water? Yes, so it will freeze at 90 degrees Fahrenheit Oh, yeah, wait. Yeah, he's getting it. Yeah, he's understanding the ramifications Kepler bakeries make Girl Scout cookies Oh, that's interesting. Well, no, but they they sell like Girl Scout copycats that are like Kepler branded in the store

They do they do that Did they also make the official Girl Scout cookies though? Next time you stock up on Samoas and tag alongs from local Girl Scouts, know that those delicious treats are connected to Keebler. You know, that makes perfect sense because I've always wondered what the difference between the Samoas and the Keebler elf ones.

Yeah, I was like, man, these are really similar. To celebrate 150 years back in 2003, they made 150 pound cookie. Damn. I feel like they could have gone bigger. If you can eat it in under 45 minutes, it's free. Wait, but in the beginning of Bruce Almighty, they made a cookie that was like nine feet something inches. What did they say in the beginning of the movie? I only remember the part where he's playing trumpet and he keeps flicking the guy off with his middle finger.

Where he's like, do you like jazz? He's flicking him off. All right, I gotta look up how big was the cookie in Bruce Almighty Okay, the tape measure is clearly not there's apparently some controversy about this one Can I read a sentence to you and just see if you guys don't like the way it's worded? Like I don't we're currently getting to the bottom of the cookie, but yes. Yeah, well, you guys are looking. OK, so Keebler, this is saying they make other versions of Girl Scout cookies like you were saying. They have the grasshoppers are like Thin Mints and so forth.

And they said, apparently their year on versions haven't hurt Girl Scout sales, though, because even if you crave the taste and can eat them off season, waiting a couple of extra weeks for a sweet little Girl Scout to deliver them to your office is worth the effort. Nope, don't like that. I see where you're getting at. Don't care for that. I was looking up the cookie size

and I've downloaded the entire script of Bruce Almighty. No, I'm right there with you. The script has the line, the previous Buffalo cookie record was three feet 17 inches. And based on the way they talk about it, it's implied that the cookie in the movie is significantly larger than three feet 17 inches in diameter, which can I just say why the fuck is it 17 inches? Isn't that just four feet five inches?

Yeah, I don't know what that's about, but they say it. They say it in they say it in the movie. I'm not seeing that it's that it's actually said in the movie. It's said in the movie. They do the tape measure because there's controversy about it because on the IMDB someone complains that in the beginning when they're measuring Buffalo's biggest cookie the tape measure is clearly not measuring the middle of the cookie the measurement would only be accurate by the diameter size, but they said it! They said it! They're a bit nine inches! Oh, yes, okay, here we go Yeah

The the actual size of the cookie is said Jim Carrey measures the cookie and looks at the camera and goes 10 feet in four inches in diameter setting a new record Yeah, yeah, so way way way bigger and so that proves that this 150 pound cookie sucks and is dumb So Wade you lose a point. Well, you know this came before Bruce Almighty So Bruce Almighty had to beat this cookies record because Bruce Almighty came out after 2003 I'm about 10% sure shit. It came out in 2003. They beat it the same year. Oh That made quite a smack on my head. Did you hear that? Yeah? I did very loud Wow for our listeners Can we not talk and just make those smacking noises for a few minutes they can?

make those smacking noises for a few minutes they can do you think there's a bunch of people listening at home that are now smacking themselves in the forehead? try it Wade lick your palm and smack your head alright, I'll give you a point yeah you did it uh, Glauber salt so, here's the thing, you boil water, you put your Glauber salt in it and that mixture alone creates a concoction that would freeze at 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

That's scientifically true, but that doesn't mean it's cold. Now, now, here's the thing. If you add regular table salt to your mixture, you will lower the freezing point of that mixture. Same way as if you put salt on ice, it'll start to melt because the freezing point is now lower than what it should be. If you put a certain ratio into it, I don't remember it off the top of my head, you can create a mixture that will freeze at 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Exactly what most people might consider room temperature. And if you put xanthan gum, it'll turn into a gel so that it's easier to, you know, handle than just like pure liquid. And then you have a gel, like a gel pack that'll freeze at 70 degrees.

And what that takes advantage of is the fact that phase change, it's called a phase change material, it takes so much more energy to get it to change its phase than it does to get it moving a degree. So it'll stay at 70 degrees way longer, and all this circles back to the concept of my render farm. So I figured if I make enough of this shit and stuff my render farm full of it, it'll stay at 70 degrees because there's so much ice, but warm ice, Glauber's ice. In the 80s and 90s they had pizza flavored chips called Pizzerias and apparently there's a Facebook page dedicated to trying to bring them back because they were so popular. The only problem with Pizzerias was the name because I always used to complain that they gave me Pizzeria.

Remember when Pizza Hut really tried to be Pasta Hut? But the thing is, I fucking loved their pasta. Gold Star here in Cincinnati, they got rid of some of their chili products, like the burritos and stuff, and they started making burgers that apparently very... I've never had a Gold Star burger, but burgers are like a big thing at Gold Star Chili's now. Like a chili burger or...? No, just a normal cheeseburger. Never had one, but apparently they're good.

I've heard good things, but it's like whenever I think of getting chili, I never think of like the burger on the menu. So I don't know enough about thermodynamics to like really contribute to this. But what you're saying sounds right. So basically what you're saying is you would you would put all this stuff where the phase change point is right about 70 degrees. It would constantly be in and out of phase. Like it would be kind of part liquid, part frozen, because the

racks would generate heat. So they would heat, but then the phase change of all the Glauber-Saut salt solution goop, it would extract. But Glauber-Saut is still a poor thermo conductor, right? So would it really? When mixed with water, it becomes as good of a thermo conductor as water is. So here's the thing, right? The weird thing about 70 degree phase change material is if you think of the world we live in, at night it usually gets below 70 degrees. Most places.

Even in the desert it can get down because the sun is not shining and it's cold. It will freeze overnight if it's in an environment where it can for free. Speaking of environments, Keibler did a thing in 2013 where they went around and found trees in places such as, I don't know, Cincinnati, and put little doors on the trees to make it look like elves lived there.

Did they cut a hole in it and carve out the middle of it? I'm wondering if they actually damaged trees for this. I was trying to find that out. They hollowed out the tree to build dioramas with little elves cooking cookies and little ovens and all these trees. It says they crafted tiny doors to attach to the base of trees it doesn't say how they attach it whether they just like oh this tree looks healthy nail this door onto it. Anyway, Glauber salt is cheap. So the thing is if I get an industrial cook thing pot an Industrial boiler pot. I mean the industrial boiler probably implies that it's a very large pot for boiling stuff. I don't know

Hey Siri, what's a kitchen? So mark if Glauber salt is such a magical cheap material that is so simple to implement, why hasn't anyone else done this? Well, I don't know. That's fair. I don't know what it is about it, but ever since I heard about Glauber salt, I can't stop thinking about it. And it's not even that it's the Glauber salt really, it's like I don't know if there's a name for the mixture of what it is afterwards. But that's science! Like you can do the science. I just need to figure out a way to make a 422 kilograms of it. I think the thing for me that I'm sticking on is the point is not, I'm with you that it freezes at such a high temperature that basically freezes for free,

but then it's a solid, right? Yeah. Or it's a goop anyway. The way water cooling works is the heat is not dissipated just because water absorbs heat. It's dissipated because water absorbs heat and then is cycled away from the electronics. Yeah, but that's not what I'm doing. If I put it in the room and then put a fan on it and blow, the air...

But heat saturation is a thing. The whole thing, well, you don't shut down server farms overnight Do you part of the point is they sort of run 24 7 is there a downtime? It'll be fun. It'll be fine. Are these like you change out the Glauber salt packs or something with no That'd be too heavy. Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pain in the ass It's kind of like a class-action lawsuit against fudge stripe cookies for not having the proper fudge ingredients to count as fudge stripe. That would also be a pain in the ass.

Cause in 2021, Kepler had a class action lawsuit alleging that their fudge wasn't real fudge. They have to spell it F-U-G-G-E. I love when I go to the store into the freezer section, they got wings, but they're spelled W-Y-N-G-Z. And you're like, oh, that's a fun way to spell it. And then you look at the back and it's made of dirt and moss and probably glabrosol.

No, so Mark, what if you make your glabrosol solution, your high freezing point solution with mineral oil, and then you submerge your stuff in a glabrosol mineral oil tank so that then you don't your stuff in a glabrosalt mineral oil tank so that then you don't have to cycle it. The phase change occurs and as the heat builds up, the phase changes out, but then it freezes. It's like an expanding, contracting water cooling rig.

I love that and I think that's incredible. However, I feel like it would mess up with the freezing point if it was mixed in mineral oil. Yeah, I have no idea what the freezing point of mineral oil actually is. I don't know how that's different. I know it's not water, so. What I was gonna do is I'm gonna make it

an evaporative cooler. So I'm going to McMaster car and I'm gonna buy a bunch of duct work and I'm gonna get some ventilation fans and it's gonna build a little evaporative cooler. And the cool air from there is gonna blow over the Glauber salt mixture and I'm gonna have a heat exchanger inside there that's gonna be like basically encapsulated by all of the

Glauber salt mixture and then some working fluid running through that go into another heat exchanger inside the the render farm room and a fan on that Blasting all of that delicious cold free air conditioning, baby Not free it cost a lot to build it and all that stuff Yeah, so it's it's essentially a normal water cooling setup with extra stuff. That's definitely gonna go wrong It's clover salt. It's clover salt. You gotta have faith in the clover Are you getting custom like heat sink blocks for all each of your little chipsets and cards and things or are you just sort of? Setting it near it. No, I'm not you keep thinking about a slather my electronics and Glauber salt. No, it's air It's it's air. Okay. It's just air circulation. You're just using the salt solution to cool the air to a crisp

It's out. It's a cold battery. It's a battery of coldness, but room temperature coldness You know a lot of people miss cookie crisp, but in 2016 Keebler had a breakfast cereal that's little chocolate chip cookies as well. What do you mean miss cookie? It's still around isn't it? It still exists doesn't it? Oh I don't know I thought it was gone. I was never a big cookie crisper. It's cookies for breakfast. What's wrong with that? Man I tell you I have not had this is not I don't believe food coloring is in cookie crisp but maybe it is for all I know but I haven't had any like artificial food dyes in a while And I'm not I'm not trying to like be like oh, I'm crazy about it

But it's like I feel markedly different for a while there I was very tired, and I think it was just like I think I was going through withdrawal because all my life I've had an unbelievable amount of red 40 and then I've stopped doing it and I've been like weirdly less snacky less like Hungry at night. I feel fuller sooner and it's like it's just has weird effects Well, if you ever miss it just put it out in the Sun for a while. You'll get plenty of red All right, anyway Glauber salt you guys seeing the value of Glauber salt now, yeah, they sound really good if Somehow you are the only person who's ever pieced this together, and you're able to make what you're dreaming of,

and it works the way you think it will, despite none of us seeming to understand physics quite enough to reason out why it will or won't work correctly, Oh yeah. You're on to a billion dollar idea. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. You essentially, you have invented the perpetual motion machine of heat exchange. Oh yeah, I have. Keibler actually did tortilla chips and potato chips for a while in like the late 80s and early 90s too. What was that brand called?

Suncharo's Tortilla Chips and O'Boise's, O'Boise's potato chips? O'Boise's? O'Boise's? I could see the commercials now. O'Boise's said the elves eat our tato chips Well, that's great. But I don't think you guys are seeing the wisdom of Glauber's salt Okay The original picture of the elf tree was like a big tree a door in the tree

Lid up with all kinds of like fancy things This picture of the tree is just a tree with what looks like a plastic like round door just leaning against it that could maybe open. Well, anyway, hey, what about this? Well, this, I think this will answer your questions. If they did that to trees around Cincinnati, I would definitely buy cookies out of fear for my life. Kepler Halloween releases with that as the mascot?

Yes. What did you guys talk about, like table salt or something go back yeah I was actually thank you for that I'll give you a I'll give you a listening point you were you heard when I mentioned the table salt alright alright by the way globber salt is gonna change the world all I got to figure out is how to make enough of it that's it we've all agreed it's the best idea ever we're gonna make distractible branded globber salt phase change. We're gonna sell it in bulk in huge lots We just gotta make it we all agree right good. How do you make Glauber salt? You don't make Glauber salt you mine Because Glauber salt Glauber salt. I don't know. This is fun to say. That's all I really have it

I watch this video the video that I watched about is by this guy named Nighthawk in Light, who reminds me very much of my friend John, both in his mannerisms and he- there's a faint resemblance, but just when he was talking about it, it's just for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about Glauber's salt. I couldn't get it out of my head. Nighthawk was formerly Robin, I believe, too. Tim Chiggins. What was Robin's name? Tim Chickens? He became Nighthawk after he was Robin. Uh huh, oh yeah. I don't think that was his name but alright. Maybe his name was actually just Robin something, I don't remember. Are you talking about Kyle

Richmond? Maybe. Couldn't tell ya. He's not one of the elves so I really don't care as much. Poor Ernie back in the 90s was trying to get people to believe in elves cause you know his biggest problem was people didn't believe in him, which is really sad So mark I just have to ask have you bought have you got any glower salt in your hands yet? No Because it sounds like you could make if you made the glower salt water solution and then just like put that in a water balloon You would essentially have a balloon that was like frozen solid, except if you hold it in your hand, it will melt.

Which just sounds really fun, right? That does sound fun. Like if you put it, I would maybe put it in a balloon then put that in another balloon, like layer it. Cause I have no idea how toxic or corrosive or unhealthy it might be to get this stuff on you. But it would just be cool.

Cause if you just set on your desk, it'll just freeze probably. But then as soon as you start touching it, it'll start melting like you're, but it won't be cold like you're melting ice in your hands, but it'll be like you're melting ice in your hands. You know, in actual practical reasons for this stuff, I think a render farm is probably a bad idea,

but I don't know, wait, if I ever told you, I, after the WUG costume, basically, and how hot it was, I looked it up and there are vests that you can buy and basically full suits that you can buy that have like water tubing through it and what you do is you have a box or something, like a styrofoam cooler on the side and they sell these like Get a different kind of cooler, like a plastic one or metal or something Actually no, it's like, one of it was like a water, like a plastic lined felt bag

I think there was another version that was fine And what you did is they have ice packs like gel packs that freeze at like, you know, ice temperature and it keeps her But the problem was that when it circulates, it's so cold unless you're actually in hundred degree weather It's going to be untenable But if you have a costume that has ice that freezes at like 70 degrees, then it would be a cool refreshing. It'd be like a dip in a nice cold pool instead of potentially frostbite. That is interesting actually. Next time we get together you can water cool me. We'll see how it goes.

Well, so I was gonna say this is more complicated. They do make, they make a type of that cool shirt where you plug in your shirt to essentially a refrigerator box, and you can set the temperature. So it doesn't have to be ice cold. It can be a more, if you're not in like constant 100 degrees, it can be a more reasonable temperature. Aside from the issue of liquefying it to begin with, so you could start the circulation,

glabrosalt might be a great application on set for that sort of thing. Hot costumes, get a nice cool. That is why I got it, because if we ever did something again that required, and usually like when you're filming, things get very hot because you have to turn off the air conditioning when you're doing it It's like it was it was for a safety thing because not only you but Pam also was very very warm because she had a literal ski suit. Well good that she worked in a cold area you could tell by her outfit. Yeah

Yeah, that's that's the ironic thing like that that room was so blue and looked so cold That was the hottest room because it was room was so blue and looked so cold, that was the hottest room because it was farthest in the back on the set, no circulation at all, like just completely closed off of everything. It was terrible. There was one time when we were filming and we had to fill it with vapor, like, you know, fog, when I come out and I'm frozen, Mark, you know, like, ehh. And what happened is there were people, because our doors were were broken so people had to move them by themselves So someone was in there the entire time as it was filling up just huffing

pure fog juice the entire time and it's not toxic But I don't think you're supposed to breathe only that because it's just like flooded from floor to ceiling with with fog And they just whoa they couldn't have pulled on the door from the other side? Well they had to be ready to open it and then the audio guy was also in there ready and waiting and so there was so many things in space where we hid the other people that were like for filmmaking as a first person just like walking one way and there would be a dance around it but they walked out of the room after a cut and they were just like ohhh anyway

fun times, but GLOBBERS oh my god guys there's crossover I didn't catch this you probably said this Wade you know Flo from progressive? Flo was previously the accountant for the holo tree in the Kepler else universe oh really? I think Flo was one of the ones I'd mention yeah

I didn't realize it was that Flo but yeah I think you did say that I just didn't put it together myself until I started looking at it. What a crazy deal to like be hired on as an actress for like Flo for a progressive and then become the mascot. That's gotta be, that's gotta be great. If you actually have the rights to the character, unless you are beholden to the company having that, but.

I'm sure she's beholden to the company. I just, I always imagine with actors like that, like I'm sure I would imagine she went to with actors like that, like, I'm sure I would imagine she went to LA or whatever and was like, I'm going to be an actor, right? And I want to be on a TV show or a movie or something like had these, but then you get the gig and you're like, well, I'll just do this commercial. Like this, I'll pay the pills, the bills is fine. Obviously I didn't, you know, probably most actors aren't like, I want to be in a commercial character, but then shit that's like her whole life. Now, like if you saw that actress in a TV show you'd be like

What the fuck is flow on on law and order mayhem the guy who does the mayhem commercials He's in like I think he's in one of the John wick movies and a couple other movies It's always like whenever I see him. It's like dude. It's mayhem I doubt that they meant to sign up for that to be the defining thing of their career But it's probably they probably like it right like that'd be like who's gonna complain like I actually like us and being and friends it just happens you know I accidentally became a character that's so iconic it's like a part of pop culture it just happens to be a part of commercials like you know it can't be that bad it's worse than not making it

at all you know I got to imagine better do you mean better or do you mean worse it's it's better you said it's said it's worse than not making it. It's worse than accomplishing nothing at all in your life. I would rather die in obscurity than be flow from progressive. Alright, anyway, GlauberSoul, any last Glauber mentions? In German, Glauber means believer or brushmaker. Oh, they do frosted animal cookies too. I kind of want some. That's sounding really good. Frosted animal cookies?

Oh, isn't that just Dunkaroos? No, it's just animal cookies with like frosting on them. Wait, have you guys ever had frosted animal cookies with like animal crackers with like the frosting on them? No, I've never heard of that. I just eat animal crackers like a normal person. They sell them all- dude, they have like a white and a pink variation of like frosted. They're so good. They're very good. A pink- pink immediately is a no for me.

That's not a food color. Pass. Enough of you. Enough out of you guys. We're done good they're very good a pink pink immediately is a no for me that's not a food color pass enough of you enough out of you guys we're done here scoring's over guys don't appreciate glower salt i engaged with you a lot about glower salt just because i didn't already know about it yeah but you didn't appreciate it you didn't appreciate i knew way didn't give a shit but you i thought i could change you i'm right there with you i said it was probably a billion dollar idea that's true actually yeah that's true you know what I proposed a 1.3 billion dollar idea cuz cats how much Keebler sold for all right? All right, we got Wade with Shakespeare and blah blah blah fucking creams back on the I'm edges are all the points I got since I didn't-

No, you got SPAY! You got Keebler Scouts for them making the Girl Scouts. I-I-I subtracted one for dumb cookie and I don't remember what, but I was insulted. Uh, cause the big cookie wasn't big enough for you. Right, right, okay. Uh, I have one for Palm Smack Lick and then one for table salt well done Bob you got Knock knock for the deaf AC mention Toad jewel oh yeah the Shakespeare quote I did oh right yes

You got clauber's elves which got Wade started on Kepler's elves so you really sabotage yourself there Bob You really got all the views you led to all the points earned this episode Mirabilite Bob that was great. You got one for perfect cleavage You got minus one for not special one for solar storage and then one for mineral oil I didn't get any points for any of the rest of the discussion of glower salts What do you mean mirabilite perfect cle, perfect cleavage, solar storage, and mineral oil? Those were 40 minutes ago.

No, there was a span. It was a span. The last half hour of shit that we talked about with the, all right, all right. I love it. I love seeing someone else be salty about the points. Bob, you still have a flag. Oh.

Oh. What the hell's happening? Why is he smiling? Oh no. Mark, did you manufacture a tie just so you could spin the wheel? I did not manufacture it. I did not.

If it turns out to be one man show, does that mean Mark has to be the one man? Yeah, you and I have to write it and Mark is the one man show. I don't know why I'm excited about this. I'm doing this because I know it's not gonna be me. Yeah, keep saying that, keep saying that. Manifest that, Mark.

By giving Bob none of the points he deserved this episode, you did this to you. I gave him so many points of exactly the topic that we were discussing. You just happened to make dumb things that made me laugh. Well, that's what I do, man. I should win every episode if that's all it takes. Every, like everything that he has,

he mentioned air conditioning, perfect cleavage, mirabilite, he got minus one for not special, I thought like everything that he has he mentioned air conditioning perfect cleavage Marabolite he got minus one for not special solar swords And then the mineral idea was towards the end, but he had doubts he had doubts about it That was making me the fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves, okay, so I'm not gonna contest this one alright here We go Please be one man show One-Man Show. Awww. WOOOOOO

WAAAAYYYY Congratulations Wade. This is the most deserving win I think I've ever had. Wade, you really swept it out from above Bob. I feel like I should be throwing a flag on Bob's behalf here, but you know, I'm gonna take- What did I- I- literally

what's to complain about? Like, there's not a single topic point in Wade's column. Not one. It's blah blah fucking Shakespeare, creams back on the menu, Keibler scouts, cookie, uh, and table salt. I guess, yeah, you got one for right at the end there, that was relating to the topic. And that's what sealed the- the chance for this. Meanwhile, Bob's is- is literally all about the discussion.

I'm not saying that it was not about the discussion. I'm saying that I said a lot of things that didn't seem to earn many points. What do you mean? What do you mean? We talked about a lot of Globersault information. That's not everything talking about, it deserves a point. He had a lot of confidence.

I said that the points were given. I don't know why I'm letting Wade drag me into this. I was gonna let this go. I'm not I'm not fighting this way Just fighting this for some reason way day way Do you want to keep fighting it or do you want to give a winner speech? I know but I'll stop I guess I just had a genuinely good time today not Participating and I really feel like I earned this win by letting you all know about Kepler their controversies their, their successes, their failures,

and their Girl Scout cookies, apparently. I hope you all feel much more informed. I bite my thumb at thee. All right, well said, well spoken, and well done, well performed. Bob? I didn't know what Glauber Salt was at the start of today's episode, and I feel like one of us who was competing learned a lot about cloud assault really dug into it and and read up and googled and theorized and played along and one of us was not so interested and I

Forgot I forgot how you win this show and it's not by participating in the show and that's on me and You know, it's I've no one to blame it myself and that's okay I've been weighed I've been measured and I've been found wanting. So what can you do? I've also been weighed You know if you'd have mentioned like the buyer fringence or the pleochroism of you know, glabrosol Maybe you would have done a few more. It's unremarkable as to those aspects of its minerality Those are just words related to mineralogy Did you talk about its conchoidal fracture? You didn't even mention its hardness on the Mohs scale I literally read about its concord. It's about its Mohs hardness. It's like 1.2. It's unremarkable

It still has one it still has one just because something might be below average does not mean that it's not worth mentioning. You weren't pushing me to find out why Glauber's salt is interesting and useful. Not that it exists and there are numbers that describe it accurately. What's a Hackley fracture? See, you don't even know about Hackley. I learned more about Glauber's salt than you even knew. You're right, you're right, you're right. It's also known as a Jagged fracture. Obviously. Obviously. Anyway, good work as a jagged fracture. Obviously. Obviously.

Anyway, good work, Wade. Good episode. I am the very model of a scientist-solaria. Anyway, with that we're gonna finish this episode. That quote from Shakespeare. Such a lovely, lovely, lovely quote there. Known for his patter songs. Mm-hmm. Thank you for listening. Be sure to follow the podcast. Check out our merch at distractiblestore.com D-I-S-D-R-H-D-I-B-L-E-S-C-O-R-E dot com. And also check out Bob and Wade at their respective social medias. My name is Markiplier.

And we'll see you when Wade hosts the next episode! Have a good day. Podcast out.