Distractible - Hide The Penny

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Thankfully, you can now get almost anything you need for the season delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost? Well, you can't get a car, but you might be able to get stuff to clean your car, which you might need to do if you're going to be driving people around. You can't get fire, but you can get something cozy to wear around the fire. Maybe you can get the stuff you need to make a fire. A refrigerator?

No. I checked. Anything you want that goes inside your refrigerator? Yes. So whatever you're looking for this season, know that you can get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Download the Uber Eats app today to order now. Alcohol in select markets, product availability may vary by region C app for details. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, befouled Bob screws his printer, then challenges the boys to hide and seek. Maneuverable Mark wants to shill bamboo, tools up for a tantrum, man handles a cashier and frees a naked freshman, waist weakening Wade, rips on toddler truckers, reports Mark to the 5-0 and searches condoms from doggy drinks to Abraham Lincoln.

Yes! It's time for hide the penny now sit back and prepare to be distracted and Enjoy the show So anyway, I got these guns, right? Put on deodorant for this one boys while Mark's doing that. Hello and welcome to another episode distractable your Favorite you go through the sleeves. I did that time. Yeah Well, if you have a shirt on and you're in a situation look Hello, everyone. I welcome to the episode distractable a special extra special. Hello and welcome to the listeners. That's right You thought I was gonna make one of you but listeners. Hey, what's up?

That's good. And we're not doing anything visually interesting at all except for Mark's armpit stuff, but that's not that it's just not that cool Don't worry about it. You didn't miss anything. It was a tactical reload of my deodorant Okay, you know we can't smell you over the internet. So it's really I mean that was for you I guess maybe you smell so bad. You can't stand yourself. Everything I do is for me Oh, there are certainly days where you leave your computer and it's like, Oh God, what happened? It's like, that's me. We just channeled James for a minute there.

It's really got to me. Everything I do is for me. Is that what he says? Oh that's, I mean he's a toddler, it's not his fault, but yeah, no, that's... That really lands for me right now. If you've ever seen the show before, I'm Drew Cariad. The points are all made up.

They don't matter. And we have a constitution just like on whose line is it anyway, and it's different now. Everyone got their coins. He says, as he doesn't know where his coin is. I got my coin. I got it right here. I let the record reflect.

I ate one chocolate covered peanut. Coin. Yeah, we do coin stuff now and wheels. Do I have the wheels? I think I have the wheels. You're the wheel man. I'll be fine. Hey, why doesn't this say plural? Bassoon them. There it is tiny on the back.

World's largest half dollar says he plural bassoon, real tiny on it. Oh, mine says it big on the back. Uh, yeah, just right. Look at the difference in image quality. Wades looks like it's like, is yours made of metal Wade or is it made of sad plastic? It's metal, but it's sad metal. It's like a real quarter in terms of its metal. I mean, it's been around since 1972.

It's got the patina of being in someone's pocket and other places on that person. Mark, you get the segue point. We're not going to talk about that. What the fuck is happening? I thought I set my coin down, but it hit the lid of my chocolate covered nutties. It's just. This is what happens when we record late late at night. Seven thirty o'clock p.m. not American time that's not how that works but anyway I have a topic mark already got the

segue point I should probably write that down I'm never gonna remember it but you don't have to write that one down uh I know I do we have a Constitution I have to do it or I'm gonna go to a distracted jail I recently started watching some videos about forging carbon fiber, right? Sure. Which is a... not really what it is. It's not like you're in a furnace or anything. It's just epoxy pouring a bunch of carbon fiber all fucked into a mold, right? Yeah, exactly.

Some of those were real words. And so, no, that's exactly what it was. He was 100% correct. All of them are real words. I know what forged carbon is. I'm familiar. But what's cool about it is if you get the right heat resistant epoxy and you get a heat resistant mold, you can get all your molds from 3D printing. So you can 3D print the negative of any part you could possibly want and then forge carbon fiber with it, but also not only do you put the chopped carbon fiber in, but you can put long strands of reinforcing fiber along the length of your part and that that will make it twice about twice as strong

As aluminum in some cases and this is with chopped fiber like pieces not straight Obviously carbon fiber by itself would be way stronger But the idea of quickly in a 24-hour period turning around a custom part that is twice as strong as aluminum without having to CNC mill it That appeals to me. I'd never thought of that. That's interesting because that's the thing that there's it's still a very technical thing but like forging air quotes forging carbon fiber is not the same as laying up carbon fiber. It's if you were pouring it into a mold and you have a like a good mold and and you know how to set it up and stuff you could make some really strong parts super fast relatively speaking. Yeah and stuff you could make some really strong parts super fast

Relatively speaking yeah, and there's there's some really interesting videos talking about that bamboo lab I know everyone's kind of mad at you right now But I'm willing to sell out for more 3d printers Is that convincing man whenever you say it like that? How could they refuse? You can't lose hitching yourself to that. Or more 3D printers.

Bamboo Lab, I know you are looking for a silver lining. I'm your silver lining. I can bring goodness to any badness that you may be feeling from any terms of service changing catastrophically. I literally have a 3D printer in my background and I've been trying to print on that and I think I ruined the print bed.

I'm not going to lie. I can't get anything to it. He's to the print bed to save my fucking life. But that's also just about the cheapest 3D printer you can buy anywhere. And so it's not that surprising that I screwed it up because the print bed is not very high quality. But a bamboo lab printer bamboo lab bamboo lab have you tried cam boo labs I love cam boo lab are those little play-doh toys

that allow you make spaghetti of those 3d printers basically uh yes actually technically yeah yeah that's fancy stuff so I owned one at one point in life, too Yeah, so but hey in all honesty bamboo labs. I will shill out for free 3d printers. Yes I could afford them. I want 20 We're a team so that's 60 20 apiece or else wait You're gonna need a bigger garage to keep that many things in boxes with you wouldn't want to end up with a Bam boo boo I Have to give you a point for that, but I'm very disappointed in myself Garage to keep that many things in boxes with you wouldn't want to end up with a Bam boo boo I Have to give you a point for that, but I'm very disappointed in myself. I thought I thought it was very funny I really I actually really enjoyed that one. I thought I'd give mark a point for Bam Boo labs

Bamboo boo definitely gets a point. Yeah, but I really except for every time it's clogged and I've hated it Which is multiple times which is near constant the bamboo lab I will say it's the greatest thing ever because actually in all honesty compared to the failure rates You have on other 3d printers. I imagine that it actually is pretty comparable and it's okay And I want to shill for it. Shill me. Shill me. Shill me. Show me show you show me show you Chill me, chill me, chill me, chill me, chill you, chill me, chill you. Chill me daddy. Just a video of a guy in a bamboo lab's costume standing over Mark in a dark room just smacking him going too close.

Everybody will love that. Level my bed for me. I'm gonna extrude. I don't know if that's your small talk Mark, but... No, it wasn't, but I mean it's okay if that is. I'm always down for some more 3D printing talk oh wait it's your turn we'll get back to you calm down wait what what glorious adventures have you been on of late oh man since the last time we spoke a lot has happened I had a tummy ache didn't

get much sleep and here we are well I know it wasn't that long, but it was multiple days ago at this point. More than that could have happened. If I'm going to walk you through my typical Tuesday, we do our podcast recording. I usually go straight from this to like, if I don't eat, eat something. And then it's like, okay, now I gotta stream. I stream for like three or four hours. And then I usually take another hour break from that to get dinner. stream. I stream for like three or four hours. And then I usually take another hour break from that to get dinner.

And then I record till like three in the morning. So Tuesday night, I was at my computer till 4 a.m. Yesterday being Wednesday, was a zombie the first half of the day. And then I have D&D on Wednesdays. I play D&D over at Lost Initiative. Went to bed, had a weird dream about zero gravity, woke up in immense stomach pain,

and I barely existed today. Just want to say you did exist enough on Wednesday to show up to Ryan's stream and just do like a scare donation to him for no apparent reason. Oh I usually like to fuck with Ryan, yeah. Yeah, I saw that. I came to your stream too, but you didn't read my resub. I read it like 15 minutes after you did it, which is pretty quick for me. So okay That's fair. I feel pretty good about that in the past three days I have installed a completely new drawer system in my truck. I have a new truck on the way I've bought three guns you decked bro

I've shot Launchers 17 RPGs, a tank, cleaned all my bullets. I'm starting to think the only thing of this that was true was the drawer. I got the drawers in. No, I know some of that's true. Yeah, yeah, which ones? I'll never tell, but yeah, I got the drawer system in there. Is it decked? Are you decked?

You got decked? Yes, I'm decked. I'm decked. From Ohio, apparently. I didn't know that we have trucks They all are terrible here. Well, okay. I'm mad at them actually Okay, the trucks not terrible truck drivers are like the new minivan drivers in Ohio something happens It's been years man. You're gonna have to get over this at some point every time man every time I'm behind the wheel There's a pickup truck. That just like, I own this road.

It's like it's three lanes, there's no one else. Why are you swerving at me? Drugs probably. It's like, all right, fuck off, man. Okay, this is slander to truck owners in which I am one. Ohio truck drivers, apparently there's a club where it's like, you've got to be a dick

and you probably got to be high and or drunk to get a truck Prefucking requisite look it's not their fault when you lift when you lift a Ford F-150 as high as they do in, Ohio You can't see anything that's more or that's less than 30 feet away from your vehicle The sight angles are just not great and it's really not their fault It used to just be many vans man, but trucks are moving into first place in my hate list I have a bone to pick with deck though So I have this deck system, but I have a problem with it number one Your manual is the most cringy thing I've ever read in my entire life. It's it's full of all right We'll slow down there champ. Hey, we'll kick up your feet buddy

Wow, get to do a spin kick in the air after you- it's just dumbest it's like number one it's instructions for babies which I get it's just so it's toddler level language so we admit that truck drivers are toddlers thank you ah that's what they're trying to say that's what it's trying like it's just I read the manual and I'm just like and the fucking just I hate reading it it IT'S TRUE! Yeah, probably. Yeah, actually. Then what you're gonna wanna do is take the- Oh, you're gonna wanna-

You are such a big strong man, you have such a nice truck. Do you need a drawer for your big man tools, ooh-ooh? Get the big screws and then not the small screws! Take the 72-inch extruded aluminum rails! Also, the instructions were incomplete because it didn't actually mention any of the weatherproofing besides the weatherstrip seals on the front of it. They're not incomplete. It's just early access.

The rest of the instructions are being worked on. It's gonna be patched. I've got an even bigger phone to pick with them. So they have this puzzle fit foam case, right, that they sell separately for, supposedly, the decked system, right? Maybe not, but I see it in drawers of people. Now when I open mine, I pull it open, and the fucking thing is THIS far under the lip so I can't fucking open the goddamn Minuteman case. When I pull the drawer

I have to lift it up and out and then open it and I get it. I probably have a truck with a slightly below average bed length and it would be bigger if it was a different drawer system, but I see on the product page someone pulling the drawer all the way out and it opening perfectly and I'm like, Wow, they got it, I'll have it too! I don't and I'm mad because it's a $300 case that I would not have gotten if I thought even for a fucking moment It wouldn't have opened in the goddamn drawer! Mark, it's a point for a big baby dandruff. We are the most relatable podcast on the market, I'm pretty sure.

Our problems are the ones everyone has. I think this is an incredibly valid thing. It's in general a valid point. I really despise when that happens, when there's a product and they show you demo pictures of it doing something, but the version that you bought for your thing is different and that's not demonstrated in the, no, I've had that happen before. Hey, if you don't ever get it out of the box, you can't be disappointed. Wait, hold on a second. There's reviews here. Works great, but you fail to tell me it doesn't work in the older models of decked. Hey Al

Sorry for the confusion We'll work on improving our communication about new decode cases not being compatible with legacy drawer systems Did you send me a fucking old version of your decked system decked? Did you send me a fucking old version of it you pieces of shit? What I'll bet they're watching right now. Have you turned it off and then on again? Because I- I don't know. Maybe it's not that, but it doesn't open.

Well you do have a quad- I mean the F-150 lighting is quad cab, right? It's not- it's not necessarily a full length bed or whatever? Yeah, it's not an elongated cab, for sure, no. But, if I find out that they've sent me an old version I am going to be back here again and I am going to chew them apart because I

like what it is it was easy to set up and it works great except uh-huh that doesn't fit now kick up your feet partner it's gonna work eventually are we about to have beef with a company that makes truck bed accessories? We might be we actually might be. I might be fucking pissed but maybe it's just because my bed is five and a half feet and it's not a six foot bed it's the forward lightning maybe it's not there but I wish it would have said somewhere when I was all this was in the same card at the same time I wish it would have said that

Didn't fit five and a half feet came in a whole a normal-sized human body. What do you expect it to hold drawers? Okay. Well, I'm bigger than that. Okay, right? Why do you assume that that's a slight at you? It felt like it, you know, I just saying I'm huge. I'm giant. I'm massive. I'm enormous I'm just saying, I'm huge. I'm giant. I'm massive. I'm enormous. I'm gargantuan. Me insults his truck. Him. Me good tall big man! Hahahaha Anyway, I really really hope that I somehow didn't get an older version.

Cause I would... Maybe they saw I was going to California and they were like, Fuck this fucking guy. Not an Ohioan like us. Little did they know. Little did they fucking know. London is my city. Oh no. What does he say? England is my city. Whatever. Like I want to accurately quote a Paul brother. Oh, is that what you were quoting? Why would you do that here? I don't know what that is.

Isn't there a line in there where he's like, I'm a diamond LA, but I'm an Ohio boy or some shit. And then it Crompton is like England is my city because that makes sense I don't know if it's a Paul brother thing I usually avoid watching shit actually that's true I don't know if I ever see the whole thing but how could you how could you very easily I don't watch them fight I don't watch them talk I don't look at pictures of them I'm not a drama guy and they if there's like a smog cloud of drama I think that they man they wouldn't pass those old EPA checks EPA checks I was hoping none of you would question that okay well it's funny cuz that isn't a thing where you live Wade

but that is a thing in other places such as California it was when we were young here but I'm pretty sure in Ohio you used to go get your car checked for I It is a thing in other places such as California. It was when we were young here. What? I'm pretty sure in Ohio you used to have to go get your car checked for, I remember my grandma would have to take her car in to get it checked to make sure it was up to like whatever the code was. I don't ever recall having to do emissions checks in Ohio, but I only had a car here.

No, no, this was like 90s I think. This was like before, this was way before we had cars. But I'm pretty sure that used to be a thing here, because I do remember my grandma doing that and she lives in Ohio Unless she was a secret agent and lied to me on my whole life, which is possible. I hope that's true I kind of knew I know it's true Anyway, that's what I'm mad about and I can't wait to find out that the horrors that I imagined are even worse than I ever Could have was that your small talk mark. Did we circle it? Yeah, that was it. I'll say that's my small talk

trucks drawers bamboo boo ever could have. Was that your small talk mark? Did we circle the? Yeah that was it. I'll say that's my small talk. Trucks, drawers, bamboo, boo, woo, woo, and my tummy ache. Good small talk. Lots of fun stuff you know. Shall we move on to the topic? Circling back to Mark's segue he accidentally did right at the actual beginning of the episode. Uh... dropping? Coins! And having them! Oh, crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! No. I got a text day about crypto. Someone texted me like, you need to buy- maybe it was yesterday, like, you need to buy crypto right now. It's gonna go up.

Like a scam text? Or like a person you know? No, like a family member who I don't talk to all that often was just like, hey, I don't know what you're doing, but if you can buy Bitcoin today, it's gonna go over something, 100K or something. They're like, just buy now, guaranteed you'll make $1,000. And I was like, oh, thank you.

Taking over. Anyway, sorry, coins. Coins and having them. Today's episode is, I mean, it's always a competition, I guess, but it's a competition about having a penny and hiding the penny and then finding other pennies. You're going to have to come with me on this one a little bit, but we're going to play a game. It's an imaginary game. You have to use the theater of your mind. I'm going to give you a location. It's going imaginary game. You have to use the theater of your mind. I'm gonna give

you a location. Gonna be a fairly vague location. It's gonna have a lot of things in it or people or whatever. Each of you has an imaginary penny and I have an imaginary penny. And we will hide our three pennies somewhere within the imaginary location I have given you. And the goal is for one of you or both of you to find either my penny or your opponent's penny and that's how you earn points. What if we find our own? That turns you no points.

But it would stop the opponent. If you find your own and then your opponent sees where you looked, they get the points. Okay. So this is a game in the mind. Theater of the mind. Cause this reminds me of the books where like you'd have to find like, this is a game in the mind. Theater of the mind. Okay, this reminds me of the books where like you'd have to find like, it would be like a little rhyme.

It's like, three soldiers sitting on a dock, a yellow bird and a really old clock. Do you remember, were those I Spy books? What were those books called? What's happening? I don't recall this. I have no memory of these things. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. I know what I Spy books are, and I don't remember them having rhymes of these things. Yeah I don't know what you're talking about. I know what I spy books are and I don't remember them having rhymes of that sort and then they just have

a list of things and then the big ass picture of stuff and you find those things on the list in the picture of stuff. Yes but I'm pretty sure that they would give you a list but it was always like in a rhyme or some of the books at least were if I remember. I honestly haven't seen an I spy book in person in such a long time that that might be true. I haven't either but when the penny talk for some reason made me think of I Spy books. I got distractible. That's the whole game. I can't tell if this is just a completely unhinged insane thing to do or if this is

going to be a funny game but be creative. You can place objects in to the setting that we're in. You can place people, specific people if you care. You can do all kinds of stuff. And you're going to have to get creative to find the other two pennies that you're looking for. Okay, so we have pennies. You give us an imaginary space. We hide the pennies and then we look for the other pennies? Yes, you're hiding your own penny wherever you can imagine. And then you're looking for the other two pennies hidden by myself and the other competitor

But how will we know that we're imagining the same setting that you're imagining? It's a constantly Evolving thing that we're all three synthesizing at the same time We're gonna agree or disagree if if something if we're like in a specific if we're in a movie theater And you're like, oh I hid it under the elephant We're great probably that's not gonna fly fly has to be but it can be crazy things But there has to be a thing where it's like there might be a reason that would be in there aside from Jumanji happened and there's elephants in the movie theater. All right, so we're in a movie theater. No, okay Well, actually that might come up but that's not where we're starting. Our first location is a busy coffee shop

It's a relatively finite space. You have to hide your penny somewhere within the coffee shop. It includes any area of the shop that you think you could get into. And you can imagine however, wherever you might wanna hide a penny and I'll give you so you can think about it if you want, you can visualize a little bit. I think this is an interesting game too

because as having a Fantasia, I have nothing. Mark is like walking around a coffee shop in his mind right now. And I'm like, what's in a coffee shop? Cops? Anyway, I already know where I'm hiding mine here. So I'm ready. When you guys are ready,

just like give me a thumbs up or something. I'm ready. Just to lock it in. Will you guys separately message me where you've hidden yours? You can make it kind of a general description, but we have little chats where it's almost just it to everyone Yeah, no, don't send it to everyone send it in the one-on-one chats that we have just so that there's no

Tom foolery and I promise I will probably not change where I have mine hidden Probably you'll never find it anyway because I'm wicked smart. Are you typing or constipated, Wade? What are we doing here? I'm both, but I am typing. Alright, we have two locations. I don't think it super matters who goes first, but out of fairness, because I have a history of mistreating you, I'm gonna say Wade gets to have first crack at looking. Alright, how does this work, Bob?

Ask me anything. I know where the pennies are. Ask me... you can ask like one question at a time, right? So you can basically have one look per turn. There's no like, oh I rifled through the entire place. But you know, it's we're fudging here. So get creative. Ask away. So I would ask a question like are there any pennies that just name a place? Is that how I ask this? You can ask about facts about the location if you'd like more information. You can ask if there's anything that you notice and I'll get creative. You can ask Mark questions and he can answer and we'll find the penny.

I don't know. Where's the penny? We're looking for pennies. Are the pennies in the cash register? There are pennies in the cash register, but neither mine or Mark's penny is in the cash register. My turn? Yeah go ahead.

Alright I go up to the handle for the espresso I crack it open and I peer inside the cup the part where the coffee grounds go that you then lock in. Clean as a whistle. It's funny though because that was my first thought I was like what if I put it in the coffee filter. Yeah well that's the game isn't it we're trying to get in each other's heads right now mmm okay when I'm going to walk up to the counter and ask the person working the front have you seen anyone acting strangely in here no stranger than you I might have seen a

guy climb up on a table but did that happen sometimes all right okay now I'm going straight line for it I I know how Wade thinks. I caught I hope you find it on this guess. I look at the orange juice carton because people wouldn't think about that. Unscrew that cap, look in the cap. It says, aren't you glad I didn't say bananas? Okay, perfectly penny-sized. Yeah, it might be.

It was perfectly penny-sized. So I want you to try and put a penny in there I am thinking of the most incredible places to hide a penny the absolute best spots I'm crying if I was hiding oh man all right Mark you get to hide 13 pennies got em all I gotta do is find one of them for a point right? Uh oh. Yep. Wade gets a chance to earn 13 points. Unless they're all in the same spot! There's just a stack of 13 pennies in the middle of the floor.

He'll never think to look there in his imagination. I am in the coffee shop. I pat myself down and make sure there are no pennies hidden on my own person. All you find is the statue of Shakira you keep in your left front pocket and the vape that you don't tell anyone about In your other pocket my hips don't lie neither do my lungs. I Stand on a table and I shout to everyone in the coffee shop. I will give a hundred dollars To the first person that points to where you saw someone hide a penny. I raised my All right Wade raises his hand uh-huh yeah good sir good sir

I saw a bunch of them in the cash register. Here's your hundred Thanks, man You thought it was gonna be a real under dollars. Yeah, I he thought it was gonna be a real penny That was fruitless mark, but I appreciate the effort. Nobody saw nothing unless Someone did see something Convince me. Did he take his turn by getting raising his hand feel like he took his turn? Sure. I Check in the cash In the cash register for any pennies that look

Unplaced because if it was if they're pennies from the bank they would be almost Likely of the same here. I'm looking for a weird penny with snot on it and bald weird bald Lincoln penny how did you know I sand down all my pennies to look like me what a calling card bald Lincoln pennies wait do I have snot on me wait where's the snot going? hold on hey how right am I how right am I you are exactly 0% correct just normal pennies in there no Wade bald penn pennies. Okay. All right. I do my best charisma roll to seduce and or

Befriend the manager so that I can get a look at the security cameras to see if I can see where anyone placed their penny you stand in front of the manager and Roll a d20 and then when you roll at 19, then you have a plus three in that skill. You look up at them expectantly. When the manager peers down at you and says, Wow, you seem really sad. I'll do you whatever favor you want, buddy. I'll take pity.

What can I do for you? And you ask him and he shows you the security footage. Okay, I'm reviewing the footage. I'm looking for where people might be hiding pennies. Oh, okay. You want to you want to analyze that? Okay. Seems like a lot for one turn.

It seems like you'd need time for that. You don't see anything. Mark walks into the coffee shop disappears into a dead spot. You see a chair tip over on the edge of the screen. Mark reappears and sits down to drink his coffee at an unrelated location in the restaurant. I know Wade's shoe size. I tell everyone in the coffee shop to lift their feet and I dust the floor for footprints and I find Wade's big dumb shoes because no one has feet as big as him in this shop. For sure statistically impossible for there to be another. I don't know if that's true.

We're sure statistically impossible for there to be another. I don't know if that's true. Bob is in here too. I find his trail and I follow it. Wade is correct. I'm in here too. Luckily for you, the only places Wade and I have gone is from the front door to the cash register, to the bathroom, back to pick up our coffee

and then over to a table. We went to different tables cause I'm not sitting with him, but. Why not? Just not man. Did we at least play battleships in the bathroom together? I've got it down to two spots.

I know where this penny is. All right, make your guess. Wait, I'm not ready. It's his turn. Okay, it's Wade's turn. Chair tipped over. Mark is very short. So he tried to go somewhere

I wouldn't think he could get to, someplace high up. So the man that climbed on the table earlier, even before Mark's last climb on the table, must have been Mark. So I climb up on a chair and or table, which if Mark can reach something from that point of view, then I can see it like an eagle. And I look around for low hanging lights or rafters or anything that a penny might be stored on or in that's tall for Mark and you know, average for you and I.

So you just stand up on a random chair in the middle of the coffee shop? As I was told earlier that just happens sometimes, so yes. It does just happen sometimes. Okay, when you do that the mind-numbing soft jazz that's playing over the speakers gets a bit louder because you get a bit closer the dusty Outdated Valentine's Day decorations that are still hanging up there touch your bald head and make you feel like you might want to sneeze It's my fly ring Touch your fly rink and the weirdly out of season Christmas choo-choo chugs around you at eye level Any of those things have pennies you don't see any pennies a game over. Sorry Wade

You were one step too late. I go up to the the checkout person clerk you wouldn't sure and I go Behind their ear and I grab out the penny and I go is this your penny and she looks at you dead in your eyes And goes yes, please don't touch me takes her penny back and tucks it back behind her ear Did anybody give you that penny? My dead grandmother gave it to me 13 years ago today. Can I see a picture of your grandma? Mark's on to me. That's right, I went back in time in this coffee shop, Mark.

I handed this to this lady's grandmother knowing that one day she'd pass it on. Nobody asked about the hot tub time machine in the bathroom. I take apart the speaker. I take apart the train. I ripped down the outdated decorations. That Penny's up here somewhere. I feel for hollow panels in the ceiling.

I know he hit, well, he, I. So what, you're just like rifling through, are you looking at stuff? Like, what are we doing here? I'm looking for Penny's, I'm knocking. I'm feeling for hollow spots in the ceiling. Anywhere that Mark might've hidden a Penny, up high I'm feeling for hollow spots in the ceiling anywhere that Mark might have hidden a penny up high. There are no hollow spots in the ceiling the speakers stop making sound when you take

them apart for some reason and the train makes a weird rattling sound when you pick up one of the cars off the track. Oh like the rattling of a penny't know pennies rattle weird my turn my game over game over Wade I Sprinting towards the bathroom pass by the stereo crank volume up to max as I'm sprinting by First open the door dive arm first into the toilet reach up Grab whatever I grab pull hard the man sitting there looks at you. Mark emerges from the toilet victoriously clutching an enormous shit in his hand. The man whose crotch you just dove through looks surprisingly unfazed and a little bit turned on

I fall on my back from the loud boom of mark turning on the speaker But now being at marks eye level I realized what he might have done I scurry over toward one of the walls where they have the little Fuck that little shit called the little decorative wood on the base of your walls baseboard Shelf and our shelf just like the little decorative stuff on the base of your walls. Baseboard? Shelf? Not a shelf, just like the little decorative stuff on the edge of your floor. Trim? Trim?

Trim, trim is the word, yes. And I start removing the trim, knowing that Mark had to have hidden it behind the trim. You just remove all of the trim around the entire- No, it's more like if it's loose, like I'm pulling at it. You don't find any loose trim, it's very buttoned up. It's cocked, it's very well built.

Damn it, okay, I'll have to tear the the whole thing down I turn on every faucet I flush every toilet and listen and look sounds like a lot of water is running and flushing very normally to you I see the negative space in the water I use water as a catalyst for my negative space enhanced vision that I got from a surgery I was when I was in the government I'm afraid you don't see anything You're still short. Sorry. Oh I opened the bathroom door see the mess mark is making in there go to the manager Tell me might want to call the police a madman is ruining his restroom. I say hey, do you see any pennies?

We're tired I've already befriended him he pennies me he hasn't seen any pennies though I go to the man whose shit I borrowed I grab him by the scruff and I throw him on the ground tell him Kneel and I stand on his back to get higher and look around then Out of the corner of your eye Huh? On the wall next to the mirror where the sinks are You see something almost copper colored Glint in the shining lights of the bathroom. Oh, do I have to wait until next turn?

I don't know. Do you want to give it to him Wade? Yeah sure. I'm having him removed soon by the police anyway I dive I dive for it mark lunges and grabs the penny That's just sitting out in the open on top of the paper towel holder Wait that couldn't have been that high up wait a minute uh do you see the tops of a lot of paper towel holders mark i'm trying to remember what they look like i must have seen this they're like pink or something anyway mark. Anyway, Mark gets a point. Congratulations. I'm going to give Wade one more chance to find a penny.

Can I give him a clue, Mark? Yeah, sure. No, I don't need it. You do need it. You really do need it. I'm so close. You were close. In fact, I think you probably held it in your hand at one point.

Am I still holding the train? No, you threw it on the floor. All right. In my head, I greedily thought that maybe I had one in the train car but I wanted to find the second one. Oh so you held on to the train car that you heard the funny rattle from but you just didn't mention that? Well I guess I didn't yeah but in my head my headcanon I was holding on to this like it's like the train car it's the whole train and I hear a rattle and I didn't

know specifically which car it was but the speaker I really wanted to play to Mark's speaker bit and I kind of got distracted by that. Hey, is there a penny in the train car? Yeah, that's where Mark put his penny. So we didn't find Bob's penny? Fuck. You guys were really close to mine too, do you want to know? Orange juice, was it the orange juice? It was in the other orange juice.

No. It was in the, I set it on top of the take a penny, leave a penny tray at the cash register. That was the only penny in there ironically enough Honestly enough I had a take a penny leave a penny thought but I was like no that'd be a convenience store It wouldn't be a coffee shop. Look, this isn't a Starbucks. Okay. This is like a Duncan the model train actually was at a Starbucks I remember there was a really fancy Starbucks like in Seattle or somewhere like that that had a little model thing as a restaurant I grew up going to in Holland, Michigan called Russ's that had a model train that went around the whole place and that was the coolest shit. I always thought it was awesome. Anyway, that was fun for

me. I want a new place. I don't know if it's fun for listeners or watchers, but I don't honestly care. I had a great time. We're traveling back into the past for this one, we are in a messy college dorm room. Oh nice. Mark and I lived in a messy college dorm room together. Is it the same one? It is not our messy college dorm room. We just wandered into some student housing on campus and there were lots of unlocked rooms because that's what happens.

So this is just some generic messy college dorm room. I'm typing to you Bob. Oh yeah, I forgot about that part. Pick your hiding spots. Out of fairness. some generic messy college dorm room. I'm typing to you Bob. Oh yeah, I forgot about that part. Pick your hiding spots out of fairness. I think Wade gets to guess first again. Let's do this. Woo hoo.

That seems incredibly fair. It does. Makes me wanna go to the fun fair. Wait, the judges are saying that counts? No. All right, Wade, where are the pennies? I have hidden one, Mark has hidden one. I want to get a layout of the room.

What are we looking at? Are we looking at like two bunk beds, two separate beds, a desk? This isn't our room, but it's very much like our room that we lived in freshman year in college. I was never in it, so that's incredibly unhelpful. It's a bunked bed,

but the bed on top is clearly bunked by people who have no idea how to do it. And it looks like it might collapse at any moment. And the person who sleeps on the top bed has to sleep six and a half inches away from the ceiling of the room. Because for some reason, they didn't think to lower the height of the bed that they put on top of the other bed. There's a couple dressers underneath the beds there. The other half of the other bed. There's a couple dressers underneath the beds there. The other half of the room is just like empty. There's like a bean bag and like a mini fridge and like a small TV.

It's like a college dorm room situation. There's a couple desks with some stuff on them. Very generic. Could be any random freshman, sophomore dorm room anywhere on campus. I checked the pillowcases. Ew. Maybe you guys lost the tooth Maybe the tooth fairy came in left a penny again, not our room. Not our room

There's some random room. No, the pillowcases have not been washed in three months, but there are no pennies I look in the pile of beer bottle caps that are in the mug of Beer the beer mug that they have to make it seem like they drink all the time I look in there nothing in there but a bunch of cheap beer bottle caps and some used up condom wrappers for some reason why were they in there just the wrappers I don't know it's like basically a trash can whatever yeah it makes you wonder what happened to the condoms. They got used clearly. I check the posts where

the bed is connected to make sure that a penny wasn't tucked between. There are some pennies wedged in three of the four legs of the bunk beds but they're not coming out I think those pennies are holding the structure together one of these people is definitely going to die. I go to... is there anyone in the room besides us? Just us three and like maybe a small creature but it's hard to tell exactly what it is. It's under some stuff in the corner. It's fine. It's fine. I nudge Wade in the ribs and I go, you see something in the corner there? Do you see something?

Do you see something, Wayne? I look over a bit like nonchalantly and then I gain a look of concern as I notice that something might be living in the corner, and I wonder if it's an animal or just a trash monster, and I say, what the hell is that? Wayne talks different in this world, I like it. I slowly approach the creature in the corner.

Doesn't seem to notice, it's just sort of generally making a concerning shuffling noise under the pile of whatever. Pile of whatever? What do you think, it's gonna spit a penny into your hands? What are you looking for? I hold out my hand. That's not a hint. I look on top of the fridge and top of the desk without searching too specifically. Just look to see if I see anything shiny, just easily standing out that I might have overlooked.

I mean, there's stuff everywhere. A lot of empty energy drink cans, I mean there's stuff everywhere a lot of empty energy drink cans a very large pile of condom wrappers like Conspicuously large you keep specifying that food court stolen food court dishes and silverware Just lots of crap, but no pennies hidden in plain sight. No money whatsoever. This is a college dorm They took the pennies already whoever lives in this dorm took our pennies already and spent them Probably we need to leave and go check penny man The penny store, you know the college penny man the guy who comes and collects your pennies. Where's your penny mark? Where's your penny in the room?

So is mine Anyway, I go over to the creature in the corner. I lift whatever's on it off of it and I go Hey, how's it going there? Oh too cute! Hey what did you say buddy? What's in your mouth? What's in your- open your mouth! I hope it's one of the college students. Looking up at you from underneath the pile of trash and I don't know bean bags and whatever is a naked skinny skinny, college freshman boy. He appears to be very, very much out of it. He appears to be so hungover that he could barely function.

And now that you've exposed the way for him to escape from the pile of trash, he sack taps you, yells, bruh, and then runs out of the room. That's probably not what kids these days would yell but cap he didn't have any clothes or pennies a bit concerned by what just transpired I go when I kick over some of the bottles and condom wrappers to see if there's either a penny or another college student in the bottom of that you for some reason kick a bunch of stuff off of the top of the tables and stuff that

it's on instead of using your hands like a human person. I am not touching those cotton wrappers with my hands. I will use my foot. Interesting. I even wore slippers. You hear what you think might have been a penny sound hitting the floor, but you're definitely going to have to get in there with your hands if you want to find out. You think you'd think that.

Mark, now that you've moved the pile of crap that the naked freshman was trapped underneath, you notice that the air is now circulating in the room a little bit better and there's a really funky smell that is now dominating the part of the room that you're located in. Good funk? Crusty funk. I also, hearing the sound of the, the, what might have been a penny, dive into the filth and I try to form the exact shape that the, I strip my clothes, and I try to get into the position that that person was just in to try to see from that level where a penny might be

It's my only hope you don't need to get any smaller man. If anything you should have gotten taller. I shrink I shrink You shrink down magically you're becoming smaller and smaller. They're all so naked You're curled up on the floor in front of the air vent from which the weird the floor in front of the air vent from which the weird disgusting crusty funk seems to be coming from. You shrink and you shrink and you see no pennies anywhere in the area, but you are almost blown away by the crusty funky air of the tiny air vents giving into Bob's horrible requirements. I use my hands, my feet, my mouth, anything I can to look through these piles for that penny. I'm using every appendage I have, dick included, to find it.

Okay. So you come up for air every once in a while and somehow every time you come up you have an additional cold sore or... I don't know... Boils or God knows what on different parts of your body that you're touching stuff. Also it's sticky. Somehow it's slippery, but it's sticky. And just all of you slowly becomes sticky, slippy. And when you finally stand up feeling defeated, you notice that there's a penny stuck to the underside of your right arm. Yes. And somehow by sheer coincidence, you seem to have dug the penny that Mark hid inside one of the gratuitous number of Condom wrappers in this dorm room. I knew kicking those off would work

Why was why why would their custom wrap because they guys they weren't actually used They just bought a big pack and they wanted everyone who came into their room to think that they really they really get fucked So do I grow now? Do I go back to my normal size or I don't know cast your spells wizard man I I press on into the wind I will find the source of the stink I go into the I don't remember what penny smelled like but it must to be a clue. It must. I don't think Penny smelled like muck. Mark continues to shrink, eventually getting so small that he could sneak just barely through the grate

of the air vent from which the crusty funkiness is coming. As you wedge your way through and you're afraid for a second, you get stuck, and you're afraid for another second, your dick just got sliced off by the old rusty air vent, but it didn't you come upon quite the sight since you're so small now They're taller than you are. It's not a high joke. You're just a very very shrunken down man at this point It's a stack of playboy magazines and laying next to it a crusty Funky sock balled up and kind of a weird awkward position laying there in the air vent I

press on I enter the sock Mark continues to shrink I don't know you're pressing on you keep getting smaller and smaller it's a race against time now. Mark is desperately crawling into the sock. Your body started to get scraped up because of how crusty and dry and terrifying it is in there. You're bleeding. You're barely able to breathe because the material doesn't even allow air to flow through it at this point in its life.

And as you reach the horrifying toe of the gigantic tube sock, which everybody knows is just for show, you find a penny. So big that if it fell over upon you, it would crush you to death in an instant. Whose was it? That's Wade's penny. Oh, God.

But I pressed on. Why do you go condoms and I went crusty, smoke sock? The condoms at least weren't used. I specified that in my clue. Yeah, the condoms were safe, man. I was hoping you'd see the sock and turn around. I didn't expect you to go into it. Bob is too good at hiding his penny. I don't think we're ever gonna find his penny. I swear to God, if there's a take a penny, leave a penny on the desk, I'm gonna be so upset. I swear to God if there's a take a penny leave a penny on the desk

You're sort of interrogating each other as this goes on but no one's really thinking about me I'm sort of getting away But I did do you want to know where mine is or do you want to guess there? You said three of the four pillars had pennies. What did the fourth pillar have paper towels for some reason confusing choice? Damn it the fridge is it in the fridge? No, no pennies in the fridge. Sadness. Under the welcome mat. Weirdly, there is a welcome mat, but the only thing under there is pieces of paper

that appear to have girls' names and phone numbers on them, but were clearly written by the boys who live in the dorm room, just in case anyone looks. The drawers of the desks literally contain a penny. Nothing in there but vapes. I pull- I rip one of the vapes. And I say to Wade, I- I've qu- I- It's been a year since I quit. I just need a little- I won't become addicted.

I say, Mark, no, you're too small. The power of that vape will blow you away. Somehow, Mark summons the strength to lift the vape to an angle where he could get his head in front of it as he takes a drag the heat from the coil nearly incinerates his entire being and the water vapor he does manage to get into his lungs contain so much nicotine that he dies almost immediately of a heart attack there's no pennies in there. Interesting. I check every left shoe. There's a surprising number of left shoes.

No pennies. Alright, that's it. You're never gonna find mine. I'm too smart. I frantically, before I let you guys come into the room, looked around for a place to hide it and I didn't want to touch anything. And I got really grossed out because I was imagining what was happening with all the condoms and stuff. And so I just held the penny, casually, in my right hand while we stood there and watched

you guys look for other pennies. I thought I'd check myself in the coffee shop. I never thought to check you. I'm dead and tiny. Mark died at three inches tall of a nicotine ingestion. I ripped off part of my tongue on the floor. Yeah, that was your own choice, man. Yeah, that was weird

All right, mark, I know struggle with two cents horror stories. I want to do one more what this has nothing to do with two cents Horror stories except that it's kind of a spooky setting so feel free to throw some in there if you're feeling creative We are in a Grandmother's attic it's surprisingly big for how like average size the house is, but it is just an attic. It's like one of those attics where there's, you know, there's trunks full of dress up clothes and mannequins for some reason. And, you know, the kind of attic that appears in a horror game that no actual human person ever has as an attic in their house

Like there's a rocking chair for some reason that's still yeah There's a rocky chair that's constantly rocking for no apparent reason and there's one light that has a pull string It's like way the fuck on the far end of the entire thing from where the stairs are for no reason I've I've hidden my penny. I've hidden mine as well. Hold on It doesn't have to be a two sentence horrorence horror story. Good thing I brought my spooky change. Too bad I used the haunted coin purse. Shut up. My turn, my turn. Sure man, you can you can have it. I turned to Wade, rip his pants down, rip his shirt up, look all over, turn to you Bob,

rip your pants down, rip your shirt up, all over turn to you Bob rip your pants down Rip your shirt up look all around open your hands open your hands both of you open your hands spread your cheeks I open my hand spread them up ah Somehow your ass makes that noise Good thing I brought my scary ass Good thing I brought my scary ass You don't find anything But for some reason I have nipple pasties on and now Wade and I are both naked for the rest of this episode Because you destroyed our clothes when removing them. Mark, did you search yourself?

He did not. I rip off my pants. I rip off my shirt. I spread all my cheeks Did you just genie mark? Did you just get him to search his own cell for your purposes? Apparently I did I'm glad he did for me. Thank you. So while he's doing that for me. All right, we're all naked great Now that we're naked I can see clearly what's going on around me which is what's in this out It's very full of stuff. It's kind of empty, the sparse? It's kind of a mix. There's definite walkways. There's kind of, imagine it's like a level in a horror game. There's some definite pathing options,

but it's pretty like crowded in with stuff, but the pathways are respected. You're not gonna get caught on any straight textures running around this attic. If I'm following Mark's pattern, it went train, condom wrappers. I like this. I'm thinking this time it's in a box of schoolwork that they've kept, either their own or their

children's schoolwork, like art projects, report cards. It's the logical next thing I for train and condom wrappers. I search for such a box. There's only one box full of weirdly saved pointlessly saved old-school work and it looks like it's definitely been recently shoveled through yes which is a strange thing for a box of useless schoolwork from 12 years ago yes you can even tell exactly the point in the stack of crap to where the person dug into the box. Yes.

So you rifle through the papers and you pull it and you see where they stopped digging and you go right to that point? Yes. There's nothing. There was just an old yearbook in there that they were trying to find. Oh. That was a fun guess though. Thanks.

Yeah, you're welcome. I huff and I puff and I blow the dust off of every piece of furniture Okay, I'm hoping that will turn something up you summon the magical Superman ability to blow like a tornado for some reason and now it doesn't matter that we're naked because we're all caked in four decades of dust It's awesome. And when you were looking in one of the directions and blowing a super humanly hard Nothing interesting happened But when you looked in the other direction and you blew super super humanly hard all the dust blew off the furniture and there Were no pennies on any of it, but you did hear kind of a deep rattle coming from that half of the attic How deep? Oh kind of a deep rattle coming from that half of the attic how deep oh like large wooden

rattle give me that dig them in a note in the scale like a c2 or like in d2 like the knife yeah okay it's a knife it's a knife probably i check the ladder and or stairs that lead up to the that they're still there with a penny on them No, it's just some stairs so close That half where I might have heard a low D two ish rattling I grab a giant magnet Throw it away cuz copper is not magnetic and then die laughter

hey he's got one of those copper magnets alright fine I'll turn it on and see what happens anyway a bunch of really horrifying shit just comes flying at ya you wave it around the room and there's like old knitting needles and all kinds of real dangerous Final destination type shit, but you're fine. It's fine. You're fine It's all you managed you got plot armor. So you don't think that happens But when you aim it at one particular area you hear kind of that same rattle again There's something trying to move but can't can't move. It's

Just contained. I am going now to find a penny. And the way I'm going to do it, I'm gonna look to see if there's a take a penny, leave a penny anywhere in this attic. Funny enough, there is, but it's empty. It's just sitting next to an old cash register. You are such a tease, man. Pile of signage from what seems to be a closed down Family restaurant of some sort. I'm really honing in on this weird low rattling thingamabob

and I want to Kind of push aside anything as I'm pushing I'm listening for the rattling and I'm getting closer closer to it I keep pushing shaking shoving pushing shove push shake shake push shove shove touch shake push shake oh what are you touching everything he's waiting through the stuff I can see it I can see it oh that's quite the turn yeah well I'm trying to find that rattling nothing that you touch or push by is the thing that is rattling, but you still hear it coming from the same direction. Mark used a big magnet and sucked up all the magnetic metals to his magnet right? So I'm going to pull out my handy dandy metal detector that I carry with me

and now that all of the non-magnetic, all the magnetic metal is gone, I'm going to use the metal detector around to see if it can detect the non magnetic metals such as copper. I'm just doing a quick Google on how magnetic. Yeah hang on I'm just Googling something. Metal detector can detect copper because it's a highly conductive metal. Hang on I'm just I'm just doing a quick search. I might have searched as well to find this out when we started. Even though metal detectors do use an electromagnetic field, non-ferrous metals can still interfere with that field in a way that would

trigger the metal detector. Which is why I'm thankful that Mark sucked a lot of them up. I see. I see. So what did you do? I got so hung up on the whole metal detector. Got you moment. What did you do with it? You started waving it around or something? Using it was the plan. In any more specific area than that or just well I mean he just searched through half the room in one turn I thought maybe I get a little leeway but I searched around the room I was wading through stuff in a

line in a straight line pushing shoving touching pushing point me in a direction where we stick in your metal detector give me give me some vague guidance you can even say you walk away from Mark in a straight line towards the opposite wall. Well, I'm gonna go to the opposite side from where Mark has the magnet. And I'm going to search specifically around like the waist and lower level.

Okay, so waist height and below. On the left half of the attic if Mark's on the right. You could search that entire, yeah, you could search your entire half of the attic that way. That's acceptable. You don't find any copper on the right. You could search that entire yeah you could search your entire half of the attic that way that's acceptable you don't find any copper on the whatever waist height and below search that you do on that half of the basement. Okay have I hit the wall yet? You are standing with your arm out stretched and your fingers an inch away from the wall like you're about to make

connolly right at the end of everything. Alright I press my ear to the wall like you're about to make connie right at the end of everything all right i press my ear to the wall see if do i hear anything then we press here to the wall take a deep breath and from behind you you hear granny's not doing so well. She had Taco Bell for dinner. It's unrelated. Wait, Granny's in the attic? No, she's in the bathroom.

The bathroom is just underneath where Mark is in the house. Look, I had a whole diagram in front of me. I'm not just making this up on the spot. Once the diarrhea sound stopped from the downstairs bathroom, you press your ear up and you hear coming from inside the wall, You hear that same rattling noise It's it's louder now than it was because you seem to be closer to it almost I use the last of my turn to turn to Wade and smile like this Does he see me do you see him I rolled a five

Shit, what 20? Oh, he doesn't notice anything Wait doesn't even notice that he actually stepped in a loaded sprung bear trap a second ago It's just bumbling around with his metal detector or scraping it on anything. He can get his hands on I forgot in a real d20. I could have grabbed no idea. All right, Wade guy metal detector What are we doing now? Going the same thing on the side marks on aside from getting a lot of pinging from Mark's electromagnet and the huge clump of ferrous metals stuck to it that he's clinging dragging around You don't find any copper or get any pings of anything else in that area of the basement. What have you two done?

Alright, I step back from the wall after pressing my ear. I go it's in the wall It's in the goddamn walls. And I start ripping the boards as hard as I can just rip and get them digging my fingers and ripping fingernails off, blood spewing everywhere. Like, ah. What an inefficient way to get into a wall. Ah.

Ah. It's an attic. So for some reason the walls are finished, but they're finished real shittily. And I'll allow you to call your way into them like a madman You assuming you dig starting at the place where you are standing in front of where you were hearing the rattling And as you start to expose there seems to be kind of a cavity behind the wall and in your crazed frenzy You don't really notice what's in front of you that you're on Uncovering but was by the that you're uncovering. But

by the time you're done and the wall is fully destroyed, Ruel Wolverine style, you're standing in front of a whole other room of the attic, like another third of the attic. It's a huge space that was separated off by this wall. And it's just piled up to about waist height with bodies. No floor space, no living things, nothing else, no furniture or anything in the room. It just, someone kept continuously killing people, bringing bodies up here and hocking them into that part of the attic. I don't know, it's a solid 30 to 40 dead bodies.

I forgot this was a haunted house. I go to Wade, I was like forgot this was a haunted house. I go to Wade, I was like, This was a haunted house? I thought this was your grandma's house! I shouldn't have searched the report card first! Hahahaha! Now that Mark has pointed out that it's a haunted house, and my metal detector hasn't done shit,

I pull out my spook-o-meter to detect some spooky shit where I think the penny might actually be. It's pronounced spook-o-meter, but go on. I look for my- I use my spook-o-meter to really point me in the direction of the spooks. You're spinning around wildly, just trying to get any scary echoes you can on your device. And when you wave the thing around, there's something over there on the far end. There's something that's scary on the far end of the basement. And it's maybe up as opposed to down. You're so far away.

It's hard to tell, but you're getting something. Great. So either it's the penny or death. Well, all the dead bodies are over on Mark's side. So yeah, whatever it is, it's scary. Scary. It's my spookometer, my spook meter. It's a little scary.

It's a tiny scary it's a tiny scary thing maybe it's not scary maybe he's right I wade through the bodies I just start stomping just I push touch I shove I push I touch I touch shove push checking all the pockets we're all naked still by the way are they naked or the bodies they gotta check the pockets I check their other pockets everyone living and dead all naked checking checking checking pushing checking what pockets are you checking? checking all the pockets checking checking all of them make my way to the center of this weird room after the 27th body that you flip over and go through all of its crevices and dig your arm up into its butt nice and deep and

give it the whole once over. The last thing you've been doing for some reason is flipping open the eyelids of these bodies. All of them have had eyes, but the 27th one, you get to the end and you flip the eyelids up and in the eye sockets of this dead body are two pennies, one in each socket, one with a big W on it and one with a big B on it. Wait, you also hid yours in the nice socket of a body? I am not going to lie, that is exactly what I came up with. In my notes for this show, wrote down, I technically what I wrote was I had it's on the eye like how you put coins on

for the ferryman kind of thing. But I had my penny hidden on the in the eye area of a dead body. So when you said that I felt like I had to audible on the fly to our two pennies are in the eye sockets of the same dead body. What the fuck? Oh, I was destined to fail. I would have never searched my own hiding spot for your penny. It's patently imbalanced I'm going to say. So I guessed your spot before we even started, thereby guaranteeing my own defeat by not searching my spot because we were of the same mind? That's incredibly awful for me.

This is devastating to my case. You guessed my exact hiding spot one phase too early in the game. I want to find what's in the scary corner. All right. So you're walk where where are you right now? Beelining he's searching 300 bodies. I'm going to where the scary thing in the corner is. That's higher up.

Yeah, you walk over to the far end of the basement and you're boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. It takes you an annoyingly long time to figure out that it's up in that corner to your left, up above you is boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. Yeah, but eventually, after I stand there and glare at you for a while, you get there and you wander over into this corner above you is the boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop Grab the dead spider expecting to rip it in half and you realize it's actually the face of Abraham Lincoln with a smiley face scribble on it in Sharpie and little pipe cleaner bits taped onto the edges so that it looks like it has eight spidery legs.

I rip it in half anyway. You summon superhuman strength for no reason and of no benefit to anyone to rip a penny in half with your bare hands. I found two pennies! I.E.L. You found Mark's penny. It was disguised as a spider in the cobwebs. He sharpied a little face on there and some red eyes and stuff.

Why did we both think Grandma was a serial killer? I didn't think Grandma was a serial killer. I'm a spooky addict, I don't know man. Yeah, the exact thing I sent to Bob Bark was a hollow wall hides a body, one of Grandma's many victims, and its eye socket is my penny. If it's any consolation,

does nothing for you in the actual competition of the episode, but that was great. Morally, you won big time. Hey, moral victories are often the ones that count the most. In no particular order, Mark scored points for Segway, Bamboo Labs, Deckt Drama, Big Baby Tantrum, Paper Towel Penny, I Hold Out My Hand, Air Vent Sock Penny, and Eye Socket massive paper towel penny I hold out my hand air vent sock penny and eye socket pennies wait you earned points for play dough 3d printer bamboo boo trucks drivers are drug addicts question mark early access instructions secret grandma

train penny condom wrapper penny roll the five for your perception, and spider penny. That sounds pretty good. Mark, you earned a total of 10 points. Yeah! And Wade, you earned a total of nine points. Okay, it all comes down to the bonus point. So wait, if we roll one and I get it, and it ends in a tie again, does that mean we go

to the wheel with the one man show on it again? Yep. Oh man, okay. I'm going to add an option for you win a bonus point if you had the scariest moment of the episode. I got one of two. It's either me grabbing that turd and checking it, or... room full of bodies. You did go into the cum sock.

I went through hell in this episode. I think Mark might have the scariest moment of this episode. Bob and I apparently high-fived while we hid coins in grandma's victims. That's true, we had a heck of a time creating that whole setup. We actually killed all those people. So we get two wheel spins. Oh, that means it can't be a tie. So guaranteed not to be a tie.

Two spins of this bad boy. Okay. No! Oh! Yes! Oh! I ate a nuts! I didn't eat shit.

That's true, Wade ate one chocolate covered peanut. I announced it at the beginning. I just always got to get food in these episodes. I can't believe that worked. We're tied baby. The winner comes down to this spin. Paulist. No.

Oh no no no. Yeah, it's gotta be me. That's gotta be it. Look how I'm so put together right now. Wait, bite your lower lip. I am going to concede this to Mark for one reason. He put deodorant on at the start of this stream, which enhances his smell, which adds to his aura.

That's a very vain decision, Mark. Good for you. That is the only reason I will concede. It has nothing to do with the fact I haven't shaved my head. Fate tried to steal Mark's victory but fate could not make it so. With 11 points and the extra point for best looking Mark takes the episode Wade did get a bonus point for eating the most during the episode but it wasn't enough. Plus I feel like I looked really good in this episode I looked in a lot of places. You spent the most time naked probably. So that's something.

You were naked in two of three scenarios for almost the entire thing. Weirdly enough, yeah. You were always the smallest. Did you get naked in the coffee shop too? No. No? No, he was just standing on a naked man who was trying to take a shit. Anyway, congratulations Mark.

Uh, Wade, loser speech. For the first time in the history of this show, a moment happened tonight where I guessed the impossible. A made up scenario that wasn't even a part of a normal scenario that just happened to be the exact thing the host was thinking. And it didn't pay off for me. If there's anything equivalent to Bob losing 37 coin flips in a row or whatever it was,

it's gotta be this moment. So I think that I deserve all of the pity and feel good I'll gilgit up next time Wade's in the world, but I don't deserve the win because it still was fair. That was big of you. Tall of you even. Thank you. Mark, short speech? Sorry, winter speech? I...plumbed the depths of my own perseverance to eke out the victory in this episode.

I dug deeper and dug further than I-I pressed on, and I think that's a lesson. Perseverance will always, always pay out in the end. Doesn't matter how many bodies you uncover Doesn't how much shit you go through hey if you keep trying you're gonna get there and sometimes You got to look up keep looking up gamers. Don't look up. It's true I can't wait to be declared the victor in this upcoming season. It's happening probably my year. This is my year Thank you so much everybody for listening and watching It's happening, probably. This is my year.

Thank you so much everybody for listening and watching. Make sure you follow Mark and Wade and me. And more importantly, follow the podcast. I'm not gonna say that word we're not supposed to say. Merch? Kill him. The editors blow up Wade. Ah!

Thanks so much everybody for being here. We'll be back again with another episode real soon. That's not how we end this episode. Just fucking, god damn it. Just podcast out.