Distractible - Hypocrisy?

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

The topic is hypocrisy and they barely talk about their hypocrisies??? Hypocrites! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Mark dislikes the many booted amongst the insect kingdom, and admits he gives out advice he can never take. Carnivorous Wade, most beloved on Reddit, is both the smartest and dumbest contestant again. From war-torn Portugal to endless bullshitting. Yes, it's time for hypocrisy. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I am today's host, Wade. Why? Because Bob can't win.

Welcome to the show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most at the end wins, usually. That's what the host says happens. And we talk about whatever we want. As always, I'm joined by my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hi guys. Thanks for reminding me I can't win. Appreciate that. You're welcome.

Here to make sure things stay fair. Is this small talk time? It wasn't really prefaced or anything. I just wanted the room to sit on that for a minute. But, yeah, we can small talk if you want, I guess. Go right for it. I mean, it's a habit that we've developed for about two years now. I feel like if we didn't, actually longer if you think about it, but I don't know.

We don't have to if you don't want to hear. I don't have to talk about anything well we should probably let the host decide that shouldn't we that's what i was trying to do but i'm not the host today the host today is bob you see mark you stepped away last episode and bob and i had another handshake deal to end his sad, miserable losing streak, I would pass my hosting duties and my win to him. And because you refused at the end of last episode, as is your right as host, I am doing it at the start of this episode,

as is my right as host. So what you've done is you've passed off all responsibility to come up with a topic for the episode. And not only have you given Bob no time to come up with a topic for the episode and not only have you given bob no time to come up with a topic you have sprung it on him mid-recording no listen he texted me tell him how long ago uh nine minutes ago while we were talking before i hit record and was like hey do you have an episode and i thought about for a second and i responded i was like, hey, do you have an episode? And I thought about it for a second, and I responded, and I was like,

well, do I need to have an idea, or are you giving me the host and an idea? And he was like, no, no, you host it. This could just do your own episode. And I thought to myself, oh, no, I should come up with an episode idea. And then I thought, no, that's the bit, isn't it? Wade is bringing this on me with no warning

and with no time to prepare and no preparations whatsoever. I have nothing. I'm not prepared for this. To be fair, you should have been because I literally agreed with you last episode that I would give you this host. I didn't remember that and I thought you'd save it for more than a week or whatever. It was last episode. It's been, okay.

I slept soundly last night. I was like, you know know tomorrow we're recording distractible i'm hosting for all of 30 seconds and then it's bobs so you knew this last night and could have texted me then yeah i've been like hey just a heads up because i went to bed last night well i didn't sleep that much but i went to bed i sat in a chair with a baby asleep on my chest thinking ah i've got some ideas but i won't have to host first so i'll have time to think about them exactly but you know who doesn't have this problem mark yeah no i'm i'm free and clear i still get to do the exact same thing i came here to do which is nothing well here's the hosting crown viewer go bob

viewer i'm not taking that viewer listeners may be surprised to know given the quality and content of some of the previous episodes of this podcast but normally there is actually some amount of planning and forethought before we just hit record uh but today i have my have one word and we're going to get to that word and that's going to be my topic for the episode it's going to to be a very old-school, distractible episode. But I, as host, do want to do small talk. Oh, excellent. So I would love to know, Mark, how are you?

I'm good. I'm very tired, but I'm back home. I've been settling in, been home for about a week, getting into the edit of, you know, Iron L iron lung which can be talked about now so um not secretly very nice it does feel like a bad word every time i almost say it or i do say i'm like yeah you know that iron lung yeah no but uh it's been it's weird being back it's weird to go from immediately filming every day to suddenly not having that obligation and it's weird how suddenly when there's no external pressure you get really lazy you get really really lazy sit around relax you say that but i find that hard to believe i've when you're in the midst of like working on editing anything when you're working

on space when you were working on like who killed mars flyer you you work like you're possessed and i'm sure that you're like recovering still but i imagine when you really get into the meat of working on this you're gonna be working obsessively and like waking up at six every day and like a rabid wolf tearing at a rabbit well kind of a little bit um but i haven't been able to tear at that rabbit because i have to be patient there's a lot of file management and transferring that has to occur, and I've got to, like, get footage knocked over because it's a very large amount of footage, more than I've ever dealt with before.

These files are just massive. Look, all you got to do is copy it from the SD card to an external hard drive, open that bitch and I movie, and start working, Mark. Calm down. After having it delivered in a big safe by two guys with aviators and an earpiece that fly it in on a helicopter i mean that's actually not a joke when i get these transferred because i need to send a copy uh to my editors just to help for organizational purposes

because i'm doing the edit but it's like i'm not good at doing handoffs for VFX production purposes. Because my organizational system is terrible. So everyone on my team needs a copy of the raw files. But I don't trust shipping them. So I'm going to have Evan fly to them. Are you going to handcuff the briefcase to him? Really? Yeah. And because Alexia's in Portugal, I you going to handcuff the briefcase to him? Really? Yeah, and because Alexia's in

Portugal, I'm going to say, Evan, you fly to Portugal for a few days. Just make sure you drop off that hard drive first. I'm sure that Evan is so sick of us at this point that he does not watch, listen to this podcast. I hope someone just gets that clip and

tweets it at him or something and he opens it and is like, Dude, can't wait to go to the NBA Finals next week. What am I doing? I don't remember having that conversation. That's so crazy. A podcast just told me I'm going to Portugal. My very own wedding is today.

Hold on, Mark's calling? I'm going where? Right now? Wait, why do you act like Portugal is some war-torn apocalypse land? It's a lovely place with beautiful vistas. There's nothing bad about Portugal, but it's not like driving over to the next neighborhood. You just have to get into a SpaceX crew capsule, launch on the Falcon 9 into sub-orbit, and then do a gravitational boost to make... It's a faraway planet,ugal you gotta yeah yeah yeah he'll

never see his family or soon-to-be wife again for this mysterious wedding that he is going to miss yeah a lot of undiscovered species in portugal the nba finals the never be alone again finals also known as a wedding those will probably i don't know when those are happening i think they usually end in june there's their playoffs are happening. I think they usually end in June. Their playoffs are happening right now, I know that, because they happen at the same time as hockey. But I know for a fact,

Evan was going to the game that'll have to now cancel, and Evan... There you go. Well, I'm glad we got small talk about Mark and Evan's lives, and I guess we can talk about wait if we want what's going on with you what's new what feels good and how does it smell i like sleep i like

the tax season's over with i don't know it's nice that summer's back dude you know what's great about summer water and boats and i don't get boats but i would like boats do you think i like boats i do like boats and i want to boat but i don't have a boat when was the last time you were on a boat in a while uh four or five years i mean it's not that that long but also what kind of boat was it you say was it when we crossed the english channel from wherever to wherever else technically that boat might have been more recent i don't remember exactly when it was but no my family had property down in kentucky and like down on lake cumberland and my grandpa had um a pontoon that we always used to use and still in the family it's kind of a property no one lives on now so we'll just go down there and use it from time to time but just timing wise our busiest time for like the tours

and for molly and i getting married everything else just summer always seems to be the busiest time of year for projects and things. So I never have time to go down there and just boat. You just talk so much about boats. I'm just surprised that you don't make... I like boat. You went on a vacation in the last month to the ocean. I'm pretty sure

if I recall correctly, you can get boats on the ocean. You didn't boat at all. You made no effort to boat. I just think it's really... No, I blew my loan on the airbnb so no money left for boat you just talk so much about boats but i guess i just i would love i've never been on an ocean boat i think you're a boat poser i'm not a bozer i mean it seems like you're bozer if you aren't boating on a regular basis what are you doing talk about boats like you own a boat and you don't even try to own a boat. I never thought about trying to own a boat, because boat place I like too far from often boat. You tell this lion because he talks like that.

You know, if you actually liked boats, you'd make time for boats, but you just don't. If you really liked boats, you could live somewhere where you could boat, but instead you live in Cincinnati. And you're constantly telling us that we should move to Cincinnati. There's water in Cincinnati. But there's constantly telling us that we should move to Cincinnati. There's water in Cincinnati. I just prefer boats. But there's no boats on that water, is there? I think there are boats on the Ohio River, I'm pretty sure. Where's your boating, Wade?

How are you going to tell us to move to a place bereft of boats? I don't have to tell you all to move to that place, because whenever we did the wheel episode, that episode made you guys come back. Mark spun the wheel. It was out of my hands i don't know that that wheel started changing at random times and i don't even know if any of it was valid yeah no we talk about fairness a lot on this podcast but i i have to say i don't think that was fair oh it was i made the wheel and i was the host therefore i know it was fair uh but i'm the host now and as far as i know you've relinquished your right to host for eternity to me and you will never be a host again until i allow it that's fair but past host is like locked in tough to break into material i can't think of name of so therefore safe from new host alteration i don't know what's going on with you

and your brain right now. Tough to break into material. Well, he's got me there. He's got me there. All right. What an awkward small talk. And somehow it ended with me being host. Hooray for us.

So I said at the beginning of my hosting thing here that I have a word and that's my entire concept. I have nothing planned for this we're just gonna talk about this word because i think it'll be interesting are you ready kids maybe i was really hoping for an ii captain but i'll take it captain today's topic i almost said host this host is me today's topic is hypocrisy i aye captain no that's over all right hypocrisy look hypocrisy it what made me think of this did i feel targeted wade thinking that he was doing something funny and clever and also doing me a favor by relieving me of my losing streak which i don't even know if that counts i guess it counts you so you gave me your win so you lose a

win yeah there's an asterisk by it okay well it was very hypocritical of you because what you actually handed me was a big pile of responsibility and hosting duties come on man and i feel like hypocrisy is kind of a part of i don't know our brand of comedy who i am oh i'm not gonna say it's only you. I think all three of us do our fair share. You might as well just paint the picture. It's been me, hypocrisy, the whole time. All right, Wade's a big stinking hypocrite.

This episode is just a judgment on Wade. Let's use this as a platform to attack Wade openly and repeatedly. But I think hypocrisy is an interesting thing. I think life is filled with hypocrisies, and they range in size and seriousness from, you know, Wade, you've said this since we're picking on you. You would never harm a living creature. You would not hunt and kill your own food, but you do eat meat. You enjoy meat very much. Love it.

Couldn't live without it. So you love animals enough to not hurt them, but not enough to not eat them. Stuff like that. Like, life is filled with stuff like that do we collectively and each of us individually have any hypocrisies that we live with that you feel like come up a lot or that you find i don't know funny concerning i think a big one for me is also i'm in the same boat as you wade i'm really not a hunter if i had to survive i would struggle to like kill something and then clean it and eat it. I feel guilt killing bugs.

Well, it depends on the bug, right? There's some bugs that deserve a horrible burning death. Which ones are those, Mark? Anything with like more than 20 legs, I feel automatically deserves horrifying deaths. Wait, what did a centipede ever do to you? How centipedes kill other bugs. They have a lot of legs, and they are not, unless they get real big, they can't hurt humans, and they kill other bugs. And they keep the bug shoe companies in business.

They don't wear shoes, man. They don't wear shoes, and that's just a capitalistic thought process. You need to get that out of your gourd. I'm talking about, like, silverfish. Nope. None of them. them like there's various other centipedes that there's all kind millipedes oh if it's got under if it's got under a thousand but over 20 legs it deserves death millipedes are okay they're cute they're cute i feel like

you're targeting a very specific bug you're like if you've got more than 20 legs but less than the ones i like if you are a silverfish you deserve death is my specificity a problem in my hypocrisy i'm saying i'm trying to give a very good example and you're like your examples too distinct too clarified i can imagine what you're talking about so well how dare you i feel like you're just being mean to bugs with lots of legs but not too many legs i was just i was going off of what wade was saying about like he feels bad about getting bugs about saying like some bugs deserve death you're just saying that all all centipedes are sociopaths who deserve to die because they're bad bugs pretty much not for any um greater reason just that you know that they're not good they're not good all

of them but even then like you know i'll kill a mosquito if it's on me and biting me that thing dies but then it's like am i going to hell do you get is there a voice in the back of your head that's like yes and then you know there's like a little like apathetic dude who pops up on my shoulders like i might have been bad man i don't know see you poofs away before i can talk to him your conscience is just indifferent stoned all the time you don't have a devil and an angel you have one apathetic guy he's a right shoulder guy too all right well i uh mark do you have any blaring hypocrisies that you live with on a daily basis i don't know how do you feel about this as a topic i'm sure i do i'm sure i do um you can pass if you want to uh there's many there's many times when people ask me for like advice and stuff and i give advice that should that does work like for adhd stuff i'll give advice like you know there's various

things you can do the first the best first thing is obviously to wake up and not look at your phone but god damn it what's the first thing i do when i i wake up as i look at my phone i've tried to do the thing where you have your phone in a different room but then i get the nightmare scenario i'm like what if someone needs to call me in the middle of the night and they're dying and they need my help but that's also a problem because i always have night do not disturb on make sure my phone's as silent as possible on the ringing uh so it's not like i would hear it anyway classic faux fomo yeah exactly so there's uh hypocrisy there i know it's like i should get up and meditation is the first thing you should do you know you should get up and work out do i

do those things sometimes not always i don't know it's just like there's many many many hypocritical things where i was like i give advice and i tell myself the advice that i should do all the time but i don't so that's hypocrisy i fall prey to the classic do as i say not what i do motif a lot too all right i'm i should have planned this out better if only i'd had time i'm realizing something about this approach to this topic, and I want to change it. Thinking about your own hypocrisy is sad. You think about things that you don't like about yourself, things you wish you didn't do. What if we analyze each other's hypocrisies?

And start with me. I am not throwing anyone else under the bus first. We could do this as an experiment. I know that there must be things that you could point out about which I am hypocritical or which are hypocritical or which are hypocritical around me and like an inaccurate thing that people on the internet always refer to me as the nice one of our group somehow even though i'm i feel like i'm the least nice one most of the time and in many situations but somehow i have a reputation come come at me

nothing is too low i challenge you oh no okay all right well that just seems mean not that i have anything not that i have anything he's like too mean too mean too mean oh so mean um let me think here uh this is difficult because you you guys are both so honest with your flaws like i can't call out too much as hypocritical. Wade, I would just say, like, you and your tech inhibition is self-admitted. And your refusal to change and adapt to new mediums and formats and stuff like that, you've openly admit and honestly you own and make it a part of your identity. So it's like, I can't even, that's not't even that's not trying to hit me and hit me it's your flaws are

too open and bob it's the same way you openly admit your issues as well and you recently got diagnosed for adhd which is a step in the right direction so you haven't even opened the door to hypocrisy yet i do hypocritical things all right right, look, let me call my own self out there and see what you guys think about this. I constantly berate both of you in the context of this podcast and in other places about when you are clearly lying. We all lie to each other.

Sometimes it's for a bit. Sometimes it's because we're trying to, like, win something or whatever. I always call that out, and I'm frequently belligerent about it, right? If someone says a lie, I will yell at you that you're lying and that you're a sack of shit and so on and so on. I think I lie as much or more as both of you combined. I constantly lie about assertions I make.

I'll just say stuff out of my ass. And then just because I say it it confidently sometimes you guys don't even call me out i'll just get away with it you've always been that member of our group i don't even whenever i first started joining for drunk minecraft there was something special about you you were like the untouchable member of drunk minecraft mark and i could beat the shit out of each other verbally or in game all the time but like i was my mindset was like just don't piss off bob get bob decide with you it was never go after bob it was get bob on your side you were the one to like hey come help me beat the fuck out of mark and mark was always like yeah bob let's beat the fuck out of wade you stupid

bitch of shit it was always like you were the guy that we wanted on our side to beat the fuck out of the other one i don't know why but you were always the untouchable one it was we could never go after bob i believe that's that's called gaslighting he's the king of gaslighting he's the background manipulator which is like why i'm wondering why you why you didn't go into like the big among us phase unless you did did you you know i hate that game. I hate that game too. Because people suspect you of doing that there. Outside of it, he can get away with it. No, I will say,

the whole Among Us craze, I think that game is garbage because nobody plays it honestly. The thing about Among Us is if you go into it and from the word go, you're trying to cause problems. Even if you're on the side of the non-evil people, even if you're not a traitor and you're like being suspicious on purpose, there's no, it's random. It's random bullshit. You have

to go in earnestly. And like, I would constantly be like, Hey, what's up? Yeah, I'm just doing this. I'm clearing the trash. And people will be like like are you clearing the trash that took way too long that's not how long it takes to clear the trash why are you saying i'm like i get that you're suspicious of everyone but i'm i'm honestly like i've tried not to be suspicious and like there's no moment in that game where you can ever just think that anyone's doing anything sincerely it's not fun for just random bullshit to happen and at the end of the game you're like oh well this person was actually not a traitor but they helped the traitors the whole time and it's like ah the game was fun early on but once everyone got established knew what they were doing and had like their i'm gonna just fuck around mindsets

it got that way i will say i had a moment where i was the traitor i got pretty much caught red handed killing somebody and in the meeting, someone was like, yeah, Wade was near this person. And I was like, all right, you got me. I spawned in. I went down to try to kill someone electrical. No one was there. So I came back around, went into the meeting room, saw so-and-so by the thing, killed him, went to walk out of the room. You walked in and saw me. And they were like, okay, so he's not the traitor. Then who did it? And I was like, I literally did it. That's how it happened. They're like, okay, yeah, sure, whatever.

You're just trying to die. No, it must have been someone else. And nobody voted for me. I then won the match and everyone couldn't believe how brilliant I was just telling them how I did the kill. So sometimes honesty won in that game. No, I totally understand.

It's very much that mindset where when you do the streamer life and the streamer grind set and you're on our 800 of your your thousand thousands among us game and you know every single frame of every single animation in there and you know exactly where your mouse needs to be for every pixel i just anytime you get that that i hesitate to say the term good at a game it does kind of ruin the fun for everybody well and there's like the whole winning aspect versus having fun aspect and maybe i'm too deceitful of a person because everyone always suspects me in games like that

where you can lie and and that's the whole thing people tend to suspect me right because they're like oh he's a good liar and sometimes i do just make the choice of where i'm like i'm gonna be purely earnestly good and not deceive anyone and the whole time i answer honestly but people don't i don't know it's hard to enjoy that because i feel like oh i'm doing i'm playing a role and everyone's just like i think this for no apparent reason you're evil and then you didn't then why do I even talk? You don't listen to me. Anyway. You know what?

Among us is hypocritical. It calls itself among us, but there's no us. It's always I versus them and you. This should be called among I. Hypocritical game. Right, guys? Did I do it? No, I don't think so, man.

Just like people in among us when they're accusing others. You're a hypocritical. Wait, guys, don't think so man just like people in among us when they're accusing others you're a hypocritical wait guys don't vote me what if we talk about hypocrisies in the world huh is are there hypocrisies in the world that bother you huh me things that happen things that happen? Things that come up? That just, they just grind your gears? Huh? Yeah, some of them I don't know if I want to talk about in the podcast. Alright. I'm gonna dive into it.

I have one example that's bothered me my whole life. I grew up with two different religions in my family and I had some religious friends with religious families and I know some very, very wonderful religious people that are very devout and they very biblical very sweet and like they are purely good people but there are a lot of people that cling on to religion and use it as an excuse to do like other shit i had a friend growing up who i won't name who did a bunch of shit that i

was like man for trying to push religion on me an awful lot you're an awful like shithead and they were like dude it's okay you fuck up now and then you just ask for forgiveness it's like hall pass you get away with it dude and i was like is that how that works there are people that legit believe you could do whatever and then go say like a Hail Mary. And it's like, yeah, I killed that guy. But so are we. And they're like, oh, you said he's sorry. Come on, come here.

Fuck that guy. Like that drives me nuts when people have a belief like that where it's like, it's OK, man. I could be a shit person. I'm religious. I do say, sorry, dad. And I'm back in heaven. I don't know. Just stuff like that where people find an excuse to justify being shit because they're

like, I'll just say sorry later. Like whether it's religious or not, religious is what comes to mind because that kind of stuff happens. But there's also people that are just, they'll intentionally fuck up or do something to piss somebody off and they'll be like it's okay they'll forgive me give them like a few days so they'll get over it i don't know stuff like that is always just like or you could just not be shit right now but they are i mean yeah i just but i'm more focused on just like what a hall pass can actually do to like what privileges do the hall pass really give you that you can get away with things you can go into the hall

without getting in trouble and then there's no rules because you have a pass for it mark you clearly never had a hall pass you get the key to the city that's just a bigger hall pass so you can do whatever you want in the city when you get the congressional medal of honor that's actually a nationwide hall pass that you can go anywhere and do whatever you want you can go into the hall halls of america can i admit that for until an age that's too old and too embarrassing to actually admit but until a relatively old age, I thought for a long time that the key to the city thing was more of a real thing and less of a symbolic thing. Like I was always like,

man, is there really like one key that can just open any lock? Like, how do they do that? Just technologically. Everyone's house, one particular key. It's like, I want that house. Like, well, shit it one particular key it's like i want that house like well shit yeah it seems like a security issue right yeah it definitely does it's more it's metaphorical it's like the key to the city is just like a trophy although i do think if you get the key to the city you have a pretty strong argument to basically bust out any door you want like kick

in the door and what and there's a family and bring your plaque with you everywhere yeah like you kick in the door and then you enter the house and you're like hey how's it going and everyone in the house is like what are you in our house what the fuck and you just be like ah i got they gave me the key to the city so i'm allowed i can open any door i want with this key honestly if someone burst into my house but they had the big golden key and they're like nah sorry man i got the key and i was like oh shit all right go ahead like it's yours as much as mine i guess i would give that a little credence and i think a lot of people might be like all right i guess that really was some there's many things that are childhood that are just like

seemed like it would be more prevalent and the key to the city thing. I don't know where it started with, but man, I want that more now. I want that hall pass. tell do i get like just to shake someone's hand what what is the symbolic meaning of key to the city what what does that what does that represent i know nothing about i've never looked it up i could easily go google search this it's i'm not gonna look it up we can look it up after but it's like a it's like an award right it's like the mayor of a city doesn't have a lot of things to offer people but you've if someone say is does something heroic or you know saves a bunch of people in a building or puts on a really good rock show you just like this is you we give you the key to our city as a sign of our trust and admiration and that's it's like a it's like a metaphorical award right i've found it so key to the city is a derivative of the original term freedom of the city,

which is an honor bestowed by a municipality upon a valued member of the community or upon a visiting celebrity or dignitary arising from the medieval practice of granting respected citizens freedom from serfdom. Because originally in those times you were a serf and you were born into servitude and you were not technically entirely free and so the title of free man or freeman would be granted in the idea of freeman to the city would be like you actually do get to have freedom amongst the city and then it evolved from that where you would be presented to have freedom amongst the city. And then it evolved from that, where you would be presented to a key to the city as a symbol of your freedom. And then it evolved into key to the city.

Interesting. So if you get a key to the city, you get to own serfs? That's great. Wow. See, you're hypocritical in that you actually do listen and i know you listen all the time and you just pretend to be an idiot and i know that's true because it's not it's it's a skill to play the fool thank you but it's so hypocritical because sometimes you double down on your dumbness and everyone believes like, oh, he's inept and stuff like that.

But you're not. Look, can I just say, I think this is this is piling on to one that bothers me. I read the subreddit a lot and it's not limited to the subreddit, but I'm going to focus on the subreddit. So subreddit, distractible subreddit. Suck it. on the subreddit so subreddit distractible subreddit suck it you're a bunch of hypocrites because you all worship wade as being the smartest of the three hosts you pieces of shit every time he has a new episode you're like oh wade hosts the best episodes oh wade's so smart and then every time he acts stupid or is stupid i think he i think he is i think he covers it up sometimes and plays it off but you're all oh it's so funny he's the fool he but and but you all it's hypocritical somehow

i think now that i'm explaining it it feels less hypocritical and more like i'm just mad about it but i'm pretty sure that's hypocritical you can't simultaneously worship a man for being a genius and worship a man for being the funny fool who never knows what's happening the hapless idiot who just says stuff and you're all haha wade that's funny dude you can have a high wisdom and a low end i'm just saying that's not what they're saying yeah i don't think it's saying that your topics are smart that they're well thought out sorry i was too stupid to understand what you were saying no see no he's doing it again mark he's doing that thing he does he's doing it away he's doing it again anyway that's hypocritical i think not really less confident

now that i was when i started that idea but i'm mad about it no you didn't even have to explain you just go like the reddit is hypocritical and like it's true you don't even need to expound any further this is true when have they ever been on our side bob whenever they never they've never been on our side that's true i have to say I was kind of thinking everyone would jump to my defense with my recent losing streak. And that people would be like, wow, that's crazy. We should root for Bob. No. No.

No. No, not a single, there were lots of posts were like, wow, Bob is terrible luck. You guys just aren't as smart and or dumb as me. You guys live your lives in like the 75th percentile of smart. Whereas I'm in the 90th percentile of both. I am all. I am everything. I am nothing. You're that meme that's like the same opinion on the lower end and the higher end of the IQ scale, and we sit in the majority. We just don't see. I am Ohio, baby.

I don't even know what that means. Ah, I get it because everything is ohio now and i am ohio ohio is me but ohio is nothing and kind of hated but it's also everywhere in love i thought you were talking about how it's low on the end and high in the middle yeah that would be smart way to look at it that's what i was really trying to say was that not what you were going at the iq graph being low on the ends and high in the middle is that actually not what you were getting at of course it was or wasn't you'll never know no that's why i'm asking now dance puppet dance this is where it falls apart for me i gotta be honest

if that if that wasn't on purpose setup you really had us going but then you never you don't you don't land you gotta land the plane you crash the plane into the setup and then i don't i don't know what to think whatever it is it's probably hypocritical so suck it there's an anime that reminds me of my life and i've not seen it but i played about 20 minutes of the mobile game of it it's called like eminence and shadow the mobile game i think is or whatever i know nothing about the actual anime other than like the little cut scenes but the main character from what i can gather i'm probably told i'm wrong but the main character seems to be a person who like wants to be like some kind of like shadow lord, like the host of some shadow organization who like takes over the world or runs the world from the shadows or something. But he's really kind of ignorant and stupid.

But he'll say something like off the cuff, like, well, you can't dance two toes if you got three feet. And he'll just say something stupid like that and then like something happens where like a three-footed man will appear with two toes on each feet who ends up like trying to take over something and then failing and like this dude's underlings are like my god shadow saw this coming he's so smart and they'll go to him and tell him he's like in his brain he'll be like there was a three-footed man with two toes on each foot. That's crazy. They'll be like, yeah, yeah, I knew that was a thing. Like, he'll just bullshit. He's a master of bullshit, but his bullshit ends up always being true.

And I feel like I've lucked my way into life bullshitting a lot of time, and somehow it just always works out for me somehow. It doesn't make sense, and I don't deserve it, but it works. And that's me. We don't just believe you, though, is the thing. It doesn't matter if you do.'t deserve it but it works and that's me we don't just believe you though is the thing that doesn't matter if you do that's the beauty of it but that's it doesn't matter it still works out no you're you're your example is completely opposite of though because you're very rarely ever right and you said that guy was right yeah so it's like not you at all it doesn't separate it tell us how it's like Mark, you know what the key is to being happy and successful in life?

I figured it out. I just learned this from Wade. Okay. Ignore whatever outcomes you face, no matter what happens, no matter if you're wrong, right, whatever. People make fun of you. People are on your side. You convince people you don't.

Ignore that outcome and live life knowing that the world is whatever you believe it to be that's the key to wade's happiness and success no matter what we say he's never going to be swayed he's never going to be insulted or hurt or he's never going to feel like we don't respect him or that we're calling him out on anything because in his mind all he gets from us is positive affirmations and and total agreement in the end is that what he hears it seems like it doesn't it i swear to god he's got pyro vision but of the ears where he's like yeah i pulled that one off sometimes he says stuff and you and i are like no that's that's not right at all that and he's just like, yeah, hook,

line, and sinker. I convinced those guys. I'm glad we all agree on this. I think, I think Wade, you, you laid your hypocrisy bare with your example. And I think like even that,

uh, has somehow in your mind inverted into a solid win. Yeah, it still worked. It a hundred percent worked. Wade's, Wade's method never fails. I kind of understand it now.

I can fill a swimming pool with just the w's i've had today man common way w that's what it that's all it is that's all it ever is guys hypocrisy was a terrible topic no no like i don't want to be really meta about this and i've done this this before. Before, it was an accident. This time, I feel like it's not entirely my fault. I'm disappointed with how it went. The key to the city discussion was way better than any hypocrisy discussion. We should really focus on keys to the city.

No, no. I got it. I know the answer. I'll turn to chat GPT. There we go. How can I stop my friend from being so hypocritical? Hmm. Okay.

Probably murder. You can kill me. Dealing with a hypocritical friend can be frustrating, but there are some things you can try to address the situation. Here's some suggestions. Have an honest conversation. It's essential to communicate your feelings and concerns with your friend in a calm and nonjudgmental way.

Explain how their behavior is affecting you and why you believe it's hypocritical. Try to use I statements instead of you. Be a good role model. Sometimes people don't realize they're being hypocritical. By leading by example, you can show your friend that it means to be consistent and authentic. Encourage self-reflection.

I'm actually, wait, okay. Wade, I feel like you're being, I feel like I's friend is being hypocritical. Look at how unhypocritical I am. I'm such a good role model. Wade, you should look in the mirror and think about your hypocriticality. I, I challenge, I'm, wait, if your friend continues to hypocritically gently challenge them on it I challenge you to be more hypocritical

I will eat more meat and kill less animals if your friend's behavior continues to bother you and they're unwilling to change you may set some boundaries on your own well-being it could mean spending less time with them or avoiding certain topics of conversation fuck off dude see you later.

I've reached the zen state of main character status where I'm unapologetically me. Deal with it. No, I can go for some meat. I've been craving barbecue lately. I don't think AI holds the keys. Oh, AI holds the key,

but it's not the key to the city. It's the key to the shitty. You guys can have that one. You can use it later. It's fine. Is that another way dubbed to add to the shitty you guys can have that one you can use it later it's fine it's another is that another way dub to add to the dub it's raining dubs i need a dubbrella god i got a hat with my name on it for all these dubs what is that salty boy's friend this is really dusty and gross. I got a poem about hypocrisy. Read it.

You talk the talk, but do you walk the walk? You say one thing, then do another. Hypocrisy, my friend, is a two-faced lover. You preach about equality and justice for all, but behind closed doors you climb a social wall. You say you stand for what's right and true, but your actions tell a different view. You're like a wolf in sheep's clothing, pretending to be a champion of the people.

But we can all see your lies and your deceit, your double standard game. We're onto you, friend. We know your name. You can't fool us with your fancy words. We see through your facade, your facade of turds. It's time to wake up and face the facts hypocrisy is a poison it's time to act so take a look in the mirror and see the hypocrisy that lies inside of thee it's time to be honest time to be true it's time to live the life you preach

and do you call me a shithead in the middle of that and just like play it off yeah no that was that was yeah no yeah it's like you can't fool us with your fancy words we see through your facade your facade of turds i'm like that's pretty good what a great way to call someone a shithead i see through your facade of turds i love that that's the one thing i got out of your poem mark is a way to call people shitheads. That'll stick with me for a long time. Is this helping, Bob? Yes.

No, that's exactly what we needed. Excellent. I really didn't mean for it. Somehow we've landed on the entire overarching theme of this episode. It's just that Wade's a huge hypocrite. Is that the conclusion? Oh, dude, hit me. I handed over hosting responsibilities, and I knew that by giving

you no time to prepare, that I was putting myself on the fryer, and I'm ready for the burns. I'm not a masochist either, but God hit me. Wait. Bob, I have something to say to you. I just really thought of it just now, and it's

I think you're really gonna feel better after let me think about it a little more all right hey there friend i know you're feeling down about your chosen topic for this episode of our podcast but i want you to know that you have something important to say and your perspective is valuable it's easy to doubt ourselves and our ideas but i believe in you you've put in the time and effort to research and prepare for this episode, and that's no small feat. You're passionate

about this topic, and that passion will shine through in your delivery. Remember, the beauty of a podcast is that it allows us to explore different topics and share our own unique perspectives with the world. Your voice deserves to be heard, and I'm excited to hear what you have to say. So, Brenttt do you hear

the nice things mark says to bob and the fact he called me a shithead in a poem please pity me in the subreddit comments thank you hey you can't you can't appreciate his swift and uh beautiful phraseology but then also call it out for being negative it can't be both things you you're impressed it's a good thing you're impressed by know what, Mark? I have a response in the form of a closing statement about this quote-unquote episode. Hypocrisy can be a destructive force in any relationship, including friendship.

When someone claims to value honesty, loyalty, and integrity, but then behaves in ways that contradict those values, it can erode trust and create a sense of betrayal. Wade. I wasn't listening. This is especially true in close relationships. Oh, wait, I have a delivery. Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

There's a delivery that needs to be signed for. Oh. And you guys are on me for being the shit friend he left in the middle of the year. This is especially true in close relationships like friendship. You know what? There's two more paragraphs of this.

Well, he's gone. You want to make a handshake deal of some kind? Yeah, I was just thinking, is there something we could do that's not going to cause me problems in the imminent future? And never mind. Ultimately, the key to avoiding hypocrisy in friendships is to approach them with a sense of openness and authenticity. By being true to yourself and your values, you can build stronger and more meaningful connections with others based on mutual respect, trust,

and understanding. Right, Mark? Sure. That's totally right. You agree with everything I just said, right, Mark?

I do. Anything that happened before, before you left, while you were gone, anything I said at all during all of that time period, you agree wholeheartedly with it, right? Because you were gone anything i said at all during all of that time period you agree wholeheartedly with it right because you were listening i'm gonna go ahead and say yes because i know no matter what you guys are my friends and i'll have i have this one more thing to say to you bob oh and i think this is really gonna really gonna tie it all together well well

well look who's feeling a little shy about their chosen topic for our podcast. Don't worry, sugar. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, your topic might not be the cat's meows or the bee's knees, but it's got potential. You just got to put a little pizzazz on it, a little razzle dazzle, and it'll be the talk of the town. So put on your big boy pants, get behind that microphone and show them what you're made of. You got this, kid.

You're going to knock this episode out of the park. See? big boy pants get behind that microphone and show them what you're made of you got this kid you're gonna knock this episode out of the park see that would have been so much more helpful at the beginning of the episode but i really appreciate the sentiment i've got a generated thing too but i generated it myself because i'm too lazy to chat gpt so i'm gonna read you this poem i came up with you guys are shit and i am great though, is running late. It's time to end and say goodbye. Now see my face and lick my thigh. That's it. Pretty good.

Yeah. All right. Well, I choose to end it with the poem. I will announce the winner and end the episode in the form of a poem. You're welcome. Mark spoke with power and with grace. His words set the studio ablaze. Those don't rhyme he

brought his a game to the show and left the others in the throes his ideas flowed like a river strong his voice was clear his logic long he left us all in awe and wonder mark had won that's not a blunder did i win hey i gotta be honest be honest. I didn't keep points. I was not interested in keeping points. Mark won from the moment you made me host this episode with minutes of warning. That's just how it is. Well, you're welcome for the win, Bob. You were trying to get out of hosting duty, so I assume you didn't want to host.

If you really want me to pin it right back on you, we can do that. Oh, no. I was literally just honoring our handshake agreement from the last episode that we talked about that I thought you'd remember, where you said literally, if Mark refuses to hand this over to me, you can always do it at the beginning of your host, and I said, yeah,

I'll do that. I didn't think it meant that you were going to do it for this episode, I thought you were just going to do that at some point in the future. I'm a man of my word. I might be a hypocrite, but I'm an honorable one. Well, it really worked out, and I'm sure everyone enjoyed this episode very, very, very, very, very much. What did I agree to while I was gone? Don't worry about it.

Mark is the winner of the episode. Congratulations. Wade, I don't have a poem for you. You just lose. Thanks for making this happen. I'm sure everyone is very grateful that this was the way the episode went. Do you have a loser speech? Yes.

It's not allowed to be poems. Oh. Well, ascending sucks. And I'm sad about it. But just like this episode, your judgment was bad. Thanks for having me. Well, that was hurtful. Yeah, but you know I don't mean it or I do

I know it's one of the two I actually really enjoyed this episode if I'm being frank I actually really did enjoy this episode I thought it was fun having Mark just beat my ass for like 10 minutes actually felt good so go for it Bob when did I do that? I'm confused

Mark as the agreeer and winner of this episode and I will definitely hold you to all that stuff we talked about do you have a winner's speech? Uh, I do. Um, I am so glad I got through this episode without any of my hypocrisy being called out. It was never mentioned once, and I skated through

this episode with no criticisms to my character or person at all. So thank you. How did that happen? I don't know. I opened the door for everyone to call each other's hypocrisies out. I tried to target it at me. It just ended. We all just ended up talking a lot of weighted shit about weight.

I'm an easy target. It makes sense. I don't know how that happens, but that does consistently happen. I feel like we owe you an apology or something. I don't know. I'm not going to apologize, but I just, like, I have that feeling in the back of my mind, you know? Sub-wetted. Yeah, no, they never have your back. Anyway, thank you for your winter speech, Mark. That's the back of my mind. Sub-wanted. Yeah, no, they never have your back.

Anyway, thank you for your winner speech, Mark. That's the end of the episode. Make sure you check out Markiplier on YouTube and other places. LordMinion777 or Minion777 on Twitch. I am IceGerm on YouTube, Twitch, other places. That's it. Thank you so much

for watching. Thank you, my hosts, for joining. We have merch. Store.D Distractible Shots. Ah, fucking shit. Ass. Store it on DistractiblePodcast.com and check out the merch. I hope it's restocked. It'll definitely be restocked real soon. You know, I've never got any merch. I really want

to get some merch, and I went to look, and I saw that the thing I wanted was out, so I hope it restocks, too, because I want stuff. It's all sold out. Well, I gotta call somebody about that. Probably. Yeah. Called our, our,

our person, you know, our person. Thank you for watching this episode. And you know what? Thanks for listening to, if you don't watch, if you can't watch,

if you do something else while you listen, we do appreciate you. We just appreciate people who watch the videos on Spotify. A little bit more. You can see my thigh. You can. I'll show you again. You missed it. Oh, there it is again. And on that pasty white note, that's the end. Podcast

out.