Distractible - I Don't Know What I Expected

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

Bob makes Mark and Wade take personality tests. They discuss how accurate their results are and if they were even worth doing in the first place... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This week, it's pseudo-psychology and self-discovery, as backstabbing Bob the Mediator demands the gents reveal all. Lone Wolf Logician, Muscular Mark, shocks none with his stone-cold sigma statistics. Creative Campaigner Wade the Iron Man, but has a solid end that pulls. Ahem. From Myers-Riggs to Alpha and Omega. Yes, it's time for I Don't Know What I Expected.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractible. Wait, wait, oh god. If you've never seen this show before, I am hosting today because I won last week's episode. And I'm joined, as always, by the people who will be my competitors today, Mark and Wade. Am I supposed to be done already? There's a few more questions. No, keep going, keep going. It's fine, it's fine. Okay, hi. Oh, hi. already there's a few more questions yeah uh no keep going keep going it's fine this is fine oh hi so market and wade are currently panicking because i have them taking a test and i asked them

to do this and then immediately started recording the episode without any warning or anything so no pressure there are no wrong answers but we will be evaluating the results of your tests live as the topic of this episode. Well, it's not live, but recorded live in front of no studio audience. Anyway, I've never seen this before. I explained the format already, but, you know, it could be anything, including and maybe, especially today, taking a test. But we'll get to the test.

While you guys are taking the test, make small talk quick. Wade, how are you you i'm doing great you know just living my best life trying to exist getting into fall season wishing i had more time for the sun in the pool i would say i'm happy football's back but so far terrible football so far maybe i still will be at some point yeah maybe at some point football will not be a sad thing to watch in ohio but not yet that would sure be nice the browns couldn't even win they only won when the other ohio team lost anyway how are you mark how's the test going how you feeling test what test done that did that um man uh i gave

you guys plenty of lead time you should have been done already by now oh you were the worst yeah i don't know about that man yeah i'm good uh i'm gonna risk it how are the dogs they're not wade's dog so i'm sure that they're fine oh my dogs oh so good probably yeah i should check in um yeah you should check on them at least like weekly probably yeah yeah yeah okay well i'm doing good you know i just had um yeah tell us for at least five to ten minutes yeah tell us you are i it tells you how far along how what percentage you guys at 40 60 man you're slow wade i know mark's mark's gonna beat you you better watch out i'm trying to listen and engage i'm not just focused on the questions well i'll i'll just get i'll just get into it then listeners

watchers smellers i was trying to there's this pretty much just listening and watching i guess i there's not a third there's no third way everyone out there who's not mark and wade right now they are taking a personality test and today i want to talk about personality tests i want to start by saying that i have them taking it's just a free online one uh i guess i should credit it's from the website 16personalities.com. Not a sponsor, not affiliated. This is just one of the free ones that comes up online where you can take it for free and get some results. I will say they're taking what is, I think, a variation of a Myers-Briggs personality test, type indicator personality test, which is generally and widely regarded as bullshit

and the results of which are uh well that's what i want to discuss are they useless just because the test is not scientifically supported just because there's controversy around whether this type of personality test is valid or accurate or in any way assesses what it's attempting to assess but potentially has biases built into the very construction of the test itself uh just because of all of that stuff does that mean it's worthless i don't know we'll get into that uh and if you're unfamiliar myers briggs is that um test where when you take it you end up with a four letter or a five letter type and the types are uh what are they i i i m i e i s n t f j p and you end up with some combination of those intp estp enfp and and they all have names which i think is a little goofy and we'll talk about that but if you're unfamiliar with this it's the thing that for our generation we did in school i assume mark

and wade did this in school do you guys have a memory of like doing something like this in middle school high school and then then telling you what career paths you should pursue dude the whole test reset it reset on me oh i guess i better take it again it started completely over none of my answers are there well do you remember your answers no i didn't get to the end well but you could just race through the ones you already know i was racing through it took me that long to race through hey i took this test in like a couple minutes i took it already and i took it and i gauged how long it took and it was not that long of a test guys got it see wade's done oh my god oh my god the come from behind victory wade's wade's mind is free mark we'll give you a minute wait do you

remember taking this as part of school did you take this in middle school high school i don't think i took this exact type of thing we took at some point in junior high we did fill something out that kind of gave us like pie chart of like, these careers might be good for you. I don't remember if it was personality based or interest based. It might have been. I don't remember exactly. I've never gotten my exact personality type from what I can remember, but I also have a terrible memory.

So I would take that with a grain of salt. I very explicitly remember doing a Myers-Briggs type test where the end result was a four letter type and then we all talked to each other about what that meant and blah blah blah even when i was i did this in high school and i remember even back then kind of being like uh that doesn't seem very that doesn't seem super meaningful anyway uh good job wade i'll keep stalling for you mark don't worry it's it's a thing where they they i think with the question when you go back to again it'll either give the positive or negative version of the same question so i gotta read it carefully because sometimes it's so you actually have to read yeah do you want to know my result uh well i want to

talk about the results all together uh i will say the myers-briggs i guess to give some historical context which we always do that on this podcast myers-briggs was uh first sort of created during the 1940s. Myers and Briggs, I think, if I read this correctly, were fascinated with Jungian psychological types and were two women who began developing this and researching this during World War II. They believed they could help people select occupations that they were best suited for by assessing their personality so these two women began doing this assessment on friends and family continued developing it by like testing it on people they developed it for over two decades and it turned out to be absolute bunk probably according to scientists but what do they know what do they know um but i guess i'm curious uh and mark you whenever you finish you can catch up and join but I don't want to distract too much. Wade, how much value do you put in this?

Do you think this type of thing is meaningful? And you've seen your result now, so do you think it's accurate? I don't know. I think it mostly makes sense. I think there's too much nuance to ourselves, our upbringing, and our experiences to be able to just slap a label on that applies to all. I think we all also have our moments where we fit into different personality types. Like we have things where we break out of our shell a little bit and we differ from what our own norms are. So again, I think just a general

label, I don't know if it's helpful for much is mostly accurate. I would say like, as I was going through, I kind of already knew where I thought the results would end up just based on knowing myself, but I got there. I told you it was quick, Mark. Yeah, very quick. Very quick. Glad I had to do that twice. Does yours seem accurate to you?

I don't know. I remember not thinking that the type I got when I did this in high school was very accurate, but the result I got now when I did this today feels pretty accurate. And now that we have results, I'd love to talk about them. I'll start. I'll start with mine i'll offer myself out there first i got the personality type of mediator which is infp a i'm a type a of infp that means i am introversion intuition feeling and perceiving

also apparently my type is incredibly rare so i am that guy i'm the main character i am the one percent i am incredibly special so i always knew you were special man i am special this solidifies that oh there's a little next thing i was like how are you getting all this info mine's very generic with what it told me i didn't click the next thing there's a there's like a final summary page when you get to the end of the little powerpoint slide that shows you all your info all in one place if you want to see your results so i should just click next all the way through yeah i mean you could read it if you want but there's a summary page that gives you all of your things all in one what you call it uh but yeah i mean so what did you get wade who are you i am a campaigner e-n-f-p-a uh campaigners are enthusiastic creative i don't know

if i'm as that's where i'm not super creative but i am enthusiastic and sociable free spirit who can always find a reason to smile i'm usually pretty upbeat i find that letting life bog you down kind of sucks i try to stay upbeat um i'm 78 extroverted i'm 52 intuitive 57 feeling 56 prospecting and 61 assertive that's really funny am i the inverse of you i'm 78 introverted okay 58 intuitive oh that was the same yeah yeah 53 feeling 86 53% feeling, 86% prospecting, and 68% assertive, I guess. What was your prospecting percent? 86% prospecting. Oh, I'm only 56% there, but I'm still on that.

I prospect circles around you. It's the prospector over here. Oh, he asked me something. I think it's a different result that I got when i did the video of this and i'm pretty sure it would have been a different result if i if it actually loaded my results the first time but i got an intp dash a a logician a logician i am 66 introverted 51 intuitive which is like right on the line yeah i'm 52 it could be either way 62 thinking 65 prospecting and 96 assertive wow i'm the least assertive out of all of us i'm 61 but still least i wonder what that ranking is based on yeah well that's the one so the first four are like the

types right but then both types have either a assertive or turbulent type assertive i think meaning more like you make firm decisions you you commit to things turbulent being like you're kind of all over the place you're a bit less predictable uh i i don't know which questions those were based on but i think there were some questions that were kind of like when you make a decision do you ever obsess about if you made the wrong decision and that sort of thing yeah i think so it says assertive um both assertive and turbulent logicians influenced by the prospecting personality trait as it interact are prone to change directions often they rarely become so sad on one concept they could stop considering all other possibilities in its purest form this can lead to serial impulsive obsessions that burn hot one day only

to cool when something else of interest appears on the radar. You've never done that. I've never done that. This is like horoscope, though, because turbulent, it says one of the defining qualities is pronounced drive to change and improve in order to repair perceived deficiencies. With every new piece of knowledge, there is potential

that it acts as a compass sending them off in a new direction on a quest for something better, something to improve. That's the same thing. They just described it in the same way. It's a different word. It's a different word, Mark. It's not the same thing because it's different. So don't read too much because you'll ruin it.

How do you feel like that's accurate to you? I don't know. I feel like if you say any order of words, you could to yourself in one way or another that's true so i got uh i got mediator infp let me just pick another random one that's very far away from that what's the opposite does it show you opposites of you estj well i just mean like the the traits are either or right there are there are two options so if i got the intp that means that e e s f j is my opposite let me read that one the caregiver soft-hearted and outgoing people with this type tend to be outgoing loyal organized tender-hearted okay well i'm definitely not most of those things loyal my loyal guys i'm a good

friend right you are the most backstabbing of all of us that's probably true i'm the nice one so wait what is that what are the letters i want to look at the opposite of mine too e what's the opposite of e i yeah i then the second one is n or what so now you go s i s okay the opposite of f t and the opposite of p j you're a logistician which is very different than a logician so the logistician is the opposite of me yeah all right well so i i don't know i feel like my name is accurate to me whatever but i think mark is onto it right it's kind of horoscopy. If you want it to be accurate, you could kind of read any of these and be like, yeah, I

do those things. Yeah. God help you if you get the protagonist. Robert Downey Jr. Robin Williams. Okay. I'm like those guys. What's the protagonist?

The protagonist. That's actually a thing. It's E-N-F-J, which is like one letter off because I'm I by 1%. So this could be my other one. That's called the protagonist on what you're looking at. Yeah. Protagonist. ENFJ is called the giver on the list that I'm looking at.

Why are you? You sent us this link. What are you talking about? Oh, I'm on a different website than you guys. Oh, Bob, I'm only one letter off from being the uh mediator too yeah okay well this website has completely other definitions of the types the one that's you're reading that's called the protagonist my my enfj is called the giver loyal and sensitive known for being understanding and generous this says charismatic and inspiring leaders able to mesmerize their listeners but enfj is protagonist

right yeah on this website okay well this gives me a lot of confidence oprah obama ben affleck john kusak kusak kusik kusick cusack thank you are these not even i thought these would be settled i didn't i assumed that the types were very well settled those are not the same at all and this is the all right whatever i am iron man this is getting into my next question and i think we're all exposing how we feel about it how much value do you place on these things not much so i saw that i was iron man yeah this is pretty much zero i'm gonna go build a robot i'm gonna what am i supposed to do i'm gonna look at beakers in a science lab is that what it says that's that no that's just my personality let me look at career paths all

right here we go kind of beakery oh thank you man thank you god thank you i'm gonna go do something i genuinely love preferably without too much stress or drama oh well i nailed it i'm gonna go do something i genuinely love preferably without too much stress or drama oh well i nailed it i'm doing that though uh logisticians long for exploration but not in any conventional way you know unconventional exploration they find themselves drawn to the realm of theories and ideas eager to delve beneath the surface of everyday life and investigate the mysteries of the universe well that's basically you described by in a perfect sentence. That's how Mark lives his life. Yeah. And also, I'm one letter away from having this career path. I'm one percentage point away from having this one. Thanks to their emotional intelligence and

social skills, pro protagonists can excel in nearly any people oriented field such as human resources, event management, recruiting or public relations okay well that's a little bit the opposite of you but but that's two percentage points and that would be my assignment well thank god the test is so accurate and nuanced it could suss that out what's the margin of error on these questions uh several most of the strengths and weaknesses line up for me curious socially perceptive not perceptive, but socially I'm pretty perceptive. Enthusiastic, good communicator, festive. Oh, are you sure these aren't your descriptions?

Receptive, reliable, passionate, altruistic, and charismatic? No, that's not it. Those are totally different, Mark. Those are unrelated. This does have overly optimistic as a weakness. I don't think I'm very optimistic. I think I'm more of a realist. Otherwise, is that a... You are definitely not overly optimistic is a weakness i don't think i'm very optimistic i think i'm more of a realist otherwise he's that up you're you're definitely not overly optimistic people please are unfocused

disorganized those seem right overly accommodating yes restless probably it says i'll be good in a relationship and i got married so i mean that seems good i guess i'm a good parent well mark you were busy did you do this in school was this part of your school stuff i didn't do it in school i did it for a video let Let me see what I got there. I would be, it would be the most boring episode ever to listen to, but I think it'd be funny if we just took the test a few times, just sort of started over, started over and see if we could even get the same result. I have it again.

So it's, I got, I got debater on the last time I did in 2017, which you can change, but that's 59% extroverted. So that's a few percentage points the other way. 72% intuitive, 74% thinking, 97% prospecting, and 100% assertive.

At least that's consistent. Dude, you are assertive as f*** right now. Otherwise known as alpha. That's Sigma male behavior right there yeah where where am i where's that test where's the alpha sigma mark i think we should no my way i'm assertive 100 here let me get my how much of a sigma male are you oh yeah that's that's it. I know I am. I just want to know how much. Wait, I'm going to send this link to the Sigma male one. I'm more of a

gamma male. Is that a thing? Look at the guy in the picture of the link I just sent. Now that is a Sigma male. Dude, that is just a picture of you. Oh my goodness. Mark, is this your quiz? Ah, you got me. I'm just so much of a sigma you know

oh my god i love this quiz already first question pick the celebrity you release you relate to the most yeah wait how do you even start the quiz you click the big button that says start on it yeah socially percept perceptive not very other way okay who the hell is timothy chalamet i don't know who timothy charla charlamet chalamet what's his name chalamet i don't know who the fuck that is i know of harry styles i don't think i'm like mark zuckerberger keanu reeves what are the other who am i like you guys tell me help me you're definitely a chalamet yeah you are 100 chalamet are you guys just saying that or is that a good thing wait say the following sentence so quiet up and listen down no wait scratch that reverse it say that quiet up settle down no wait saddle up reverse it i get it that is just as cringe so

i think you're a chalamet through and through yeah this doesn't seem fair i don't think i'm zuckerberg i don't think i'm zuckerberg i don't just like stare at you all like not talk kiana reeves seems cool but he seems kind of introverted i don't know is am i a harry styles i don't know much about him he's pretty much cool would be my take on harry styles i don't know i'm cool all right are you sure all right i'll click on chalamet oh it turned. That must mean I'm right. Yeah, I know. Green means you got it correct.

I don't... Hey, guys, can I ask a question? What Lord of the Rings character am I? Okay, it's your own fault if you don't know the Lord of the Rings characters. I know them. I just don't know which one's most like... I'm not really like any of these. You're Mary. Yeah, that's not an option. Maybe I'm more of the Rings characters. I know them. I just don't know which one's most like, I'm not really like any of these. You're Mary.

Yeah, that's not an option. Maybe I'm more of a Samwise than a Frodo. Okay, hold this question. These questions, I got to read one out. Which morally ambiguous route would you greenlight? A, euthanasia. B, robbing a dictator. C, cradle snatching a consensual 18 year old when I'm 30 plus, or D. Unfettered AI usage could be fun.

Unfettered! You know I kinda gotta go with that one, that's the type of Sigma male I am. What do your parents roll out on your floor? Bringing new flowers to the grave i don't know i how do you deal with stress i go for a nice long hike i put on my boxing gloves and clobber my punching bag i buy and make a new lego set i write a song or jackson pollock my way to feeling better bro i am freaking cooked right now i'm gonna go jack go Jackson Pollock some shit. Oh, hell yeah, man. I'm going to go Jackson Pollock the shit out of this paint right now. This quiz is dumb.

Do Sigma males just love listening to music? Because there's a question, what are you listening to on a desert island? And there's no nothing option. Because you guys know me, I don't listen to music. I ride in the car in silence. Sigma males got to have tunes, bro. I don't understand. Who's Claude Debussy?

WC. It's spelled Debussy. It's French, I believe, as the Claude may have clued you off to, so it's pronounced differently. I thought Claude would be like German or something. Did you read this one out loud, Mark? The morally ambiguous route you would

greenlight? That's the one you read out loud yeah we know which one you would pick way do you know oh i love this answer so much what's your toy of choice it's a dragon's collector set a cool feature-packed drone a vintage motorcycle hmm do you really want to know oh i see yeah oh god i just want to get to the end does this quiz end yeah how far into this how many questions is there oh damn i'm about to claude debussy i don't know who okay i prioritize mental fitness to train my mind at home that's my workout routine all right you're making fun of it but that was the one i was gonna i was gonna pick never mind sorry no you love it i don't wear any of these clothing options where's basketball shorts and whatever t-shirt i grab i guess khaki uses the clothes well you're clearly not a sigma

man if these questions don't make any sense to you this i don't expect to be one but i would like to know what i is what's my toy of choice vibrator yeah does this have an end like my god i i know i just was like i'll click through it really fast sigma males wouldn't even take a quiz because they already know oh my god spare time a sigma male doesn't have spare time what motivates you this this is not which tv character am i i don't know who jeremiah or ethan are hey bob am i a jeremiah or an ethan you're a big time ethan buddy tell you what the white lotus no white lotus is big big weight energy big ethan weight energy are you lying to me or is this a good choice i don't know wait swap hazing

for which activity is that something sigma males do on a daily grind set sigma males think a lot about whether hazing is good and what you should do instead of hazing or just hazing people which animal is my guardian eagle because it's bald a sloth because it's lazy like me an orangutan because it's funny like me or a turtle because it kind of moves slow like me fuck i'm all of these animals oh no you're big orangutan, bud. Did you go orangutan? I was leaning towards sloth. You'd say orangutan?

I mean, I pick sloth and I definitely see that, but I see either of those for you. You just seem more, you're funny to me. You're like an affable, like a likable affable person. Very orangutan-y. Is that a mean word or a positive word, affable? I don't know. I feel like it's a nice word, but it feels mean to call someone affable.

Like, I don't. Wow, I hate this so much. Where do you fit in the hero's journey? I am the master of Zen. I am the invaluable sidekick. I am the unlikely hero. I get turned into a toxic capuchin monkey. I will.

Clearly, I'm the main character, so I'm the unlikely hero. That's why I thought I was the unlikely hero. Well, I thought I was the unlikely hero. Oh, here we go. Last Supper Korean Barbecue. Pick your favorite color. Oh, my God. There's a color one. It's only got three.

It's got four options, and one of them is all colors. Yeah, you know all of the colors. Red, gray, blue, and the the rest how drab you gotta be that your favorite color is gray oh holy shit buddy you'll never guess what i am i got my result oh you'll never guess what i am oh should we wait for wade to finish yeah let's wait for wade this is all right i'm trying to see if i command respect right now oh my god holy shit how much more or less valuable do you think this is than the myers-briggs test mark let's start with that infinitely more valuable infinitely oh infinitely more valuable because this is all that matters

this is all that matters as soon as i saw what the results are shown as i'm like this is the only test you need. I have to agree. And I can't disagree. Both and all. Yes, two. Wait, hurry up. I did it.

That was fast. Holy shit. What a sigma. All right. What percentage sigma are you, boys? Did you get a number? What? I'll lead off.

I'll say what percentage sigma I am. What? Is that what yours says? Mine does not have have a percentage mine says you're 35 sigma you have some mixed traits sometimes you have alpha vibes and other times you're a softy beta but you're solid and can pull all right bob what did you get i didn't get a percentage mine just says you're an omega male you're introverted you're a bit nerdy and have a whole lot of talent in one awkward package but you could clean up good it doesn't say i'm any percent sigma guys bow down i am 100 percent sigma you are too cool for school never a pushover, always quietly confident.

Keep doing you, but don't leave people too far in your rear view mirror. And it's a picture of a dude just busting out of chains. Mine's a picture of a guy standing like this in front of the wall, but his shadow is a big man flexing. Mine is a picture of a frumpy, chubby dude who kind of looks like me with blonde hair holding a globe. Does he have a shadow? He has no shadow.

He doesn't cast a shadow at all. Oh, man, you were so proud of that answer, too, before. I didn't think all the way through. Omega is like the last. The alpha and the omega. The omega is the last one. Does that mean I'm the bottomest male that there can be? No, you clean up good.

You clean up good. You may not be 100% Sigma like me. I don't know what I did. I swear, guys. Were you answering honestly or were you just clicking? I was answering as close as I could to the answers I wanted. I did not pick the cradle rob answer. I want to say it very clearly.

I did not pick the cradle rob one. I did not pick the cradle rob answer i want to say it very clearly i did not pick the cradle rob one i did not pick the cradle rob answer either i did not either i i chose rob a dictator i chose euthanasia that's probably the stigma man what'd you pick mark what was the fourth one euthanasia rob the cradle dictator rob a dictator and then the robin cradle and then whatever the fourth one was it was the top left when you're talking about i don't remember what it was no top left for me was um i forget now oh i had bottom left was cradle top right was dictator bottom right was uh euthanasia i like how this quiz like the whole sigma male thing is like oh if you're not sigma then you're shit or whatever you're if you're not alpha then you're and this quiz was like you're an omega male that's good too buddy

you're smart and you got you're really talented probably yeah what am i 65 percent if you're 100 sigma and i'm 35 what's the other 65 you're 65 65, Sigma. I mean, uh, no, 65 Omega. You're with me, baby. I, I, I don't know, because I think that, I think we've talked about this before. The idea is that, like, Sigma males, so people that obviously know they're not Alpha in terms of, like, the chads of the world, can still feel like they're

superior. Which Sigma obviously is superior. So I'm 100% Sigma, so everyone out there needs to understand how much better I am than you. All the other Sig everyone out there needs to understand how much better i am than you all the other sigmas out there well how would it have changed if we all robbed the cradle i don't want to go back through i should make it so you could go back and edit one answer i also don't know if i'm a tommy chalamet and uh some of the other ones i guessed on what's his name tim Timothy Chalamet.

I'm going to look this up. Who is this? It's the guy from Dune. Dune. And also lots of other stuff. He's in a lot of movies and whatnot. I don't think I'm like this man at all. He's got curly, nice hair and a very like, he's got a jawline.

I don't know how to describe it. Like a masculine jawline. I'm not doing this again. I'm not doing it again. I can't. I was about to go Like a masculine jawline. I'm not doing this again. I'm not doing it again. I can't. I was about to go through the whole thing, but I'm like, I forgot how long it actually was. And I'm like, no, it took, it took quite a while.

It's definitely not worth it again. Again. Mark, I, you just, thanks for that. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Call me anytime you need advice. I just probably won't pick up. Wait, which Drake album do I have the most in common with guys?

Oh, God. What were we talking about? Your personality decoded the Ashoka edition. Ashoka. Ashoka. No, it's Ashoka. Yeah, I know that one. I haven't actually watched that show yet, but I haven't either.

I've heard it's pretty good. So did I win? I think Mark wins well he's sigma mark has the best and strongest personality what was your wait what was your uh myers-briggs you were the logician yeah logician i n t p a i'm the campaigner and i'm campaigning you to give me the win i think the assertive score in the intp myers-briggs test was like how sigma you are and i think it should have been obvious when i got 96 assertive on that and 100 in my last one that's that pure sigma energy radiating out of me yeah no that's a very sigma move to be assertive our sigma is just campfire guitar guy oh definitely not no no way hang on you know what we need guys to definitively solve this is uh one more personality test because we've only taken

we've only taken two and i've already forgotten what i am 35 sigma and edible nude female parents. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Apple. What if we do a personality test for men? Oh! For men, you say? What is my male personality type? What type of male are you? Alpha, beta, omega, delta, epsilon, sigma, omicron. I didn't know there were so many kinds of us.

You don't want to be an omicron. You don't want to be an omi. We kind of did that one already. I'm flirting personality test. I'm going to change course. I don't want to take another test. That sounds boring. And also, I don't like any of the ones I'm finding.

Let's flip coins. No. I want to know if you've learned anything about yourselves, Wade. You transitioned exactly to my next point that I have scribbled down in my notes. Was this helpful? And do you feel like you know yourself better now? No, I already knew myself pretty well. And this pretty much lines up with what I thought. You and I are betas to Mark's alpha. Mark is the alpha. But like, I've got another friend group where I'm the alpha of the group and everyone kind of turns to me to run things. I know I'm a hybrid. I can fit whatever roles needed. That makes sense. 35% Sigma.

I could take the role if need be. If someone else steps in, I'll take a step back, relax, and let them shoulder the burden. As far as my personality type, yeah, I'm pretty obnoxiously like, look at me. But also pretty good with people. I can see whenever someone's not getting attention or looks a little uncomfortable. It's like, okay, let's steer the conversation. I don't know. All this lines up with things I know about myself so i don't think

i really learned anything it just reinforced it's good to have your presumptions reinforced every now and again that's good that's healthy probably mark what did you learn valuable information you feel stronger now that you know you're 100 sigma absolutely when i walk in the room all eyes are on me but my eyes are not. Well, we have to look around for a minute and look down to find you. But yeah, go on. I don't talk. You know, the elephant in the room, that's me. You know, best sense of smell of all animals.

Oh, we did learn that. Yeah, that's absolutely true. I incredible smell, both ability and exuding. I am just better. I incredible smell, both ability and exuding. I am just better. I, incredible smell. I, incredible look. I, incredible mouth. Mouth on me, my mouth on you, incredible.

Sigma, no need, big word. Thought too big to get out of mouth, you know? Understand? Sigmas are so considerate, they don't want to talk over anybody's head, so they really make sure to include every level of intelligence in the conversation. Yeah, I don't need to prove myself to anybody. That's why around my friends to make them feel tall, I've actually been slouching this whole time.

You've been wearing the opposite of lifts in your shoes. You've been wearing sinks. this whole time. You've been wearing the opposite of lifts in your shoes. You've been wearing sinks. You actually had special shoes invented that have little black holes in the bottom that allow you to shorten yourself by up to eight inches. He's got the

shoes of holding. People always thought that my calves were just naturally big. I actually bent my knees backwards very flexible and then I duct tape them to the back of my knees really, really strong. That's why your feet can go in 360 degrees. You cut off half your leg. Exactly. People thought it was a

trick. I just have two strings that I pull Look at me. Your legs unfold. Yeah God help you if I unfurl for the first time. Mark's actually 7 foot 2 But he's all legs

all legs god it is like people that get leg lengthening surgery you know they're just like their torso's the same but their legs grow long like my god my head's at Mark's dick height what a little torso with those legs

locks down all the shades closes all the windows up tight so no one can see in, sits down on his couch, and unfurls. Spends all day, every day, furled up. You know how many loops

I got my neck in? You don't understand. My torso normal, but neck and head. That's why you seem so thick. So kind of you to make bob and i feel tall in our i don't furl at all i'm always the same height omicron bodies or whatever we are yeah yeah well sigmas don't need the recognition of height we feel it on our souls and what we exude over a

third of me agrees with you all right i honestly thought i had a point with this episode, but I feel like I lost it completely when we went down the Sigma quiz hole. And now I just... What's the point? What? Quizzes are bullshit! Or quizzes mean a lot! Look, quizzes are bullshit.

Let's not mince words. Quizzes, especially like the Sigma male one, don't mean anything. They reflect whatever the person who made it sees in the world. But I don't think that means they're useless i think it's valuable to assess yourself in comparison to other people's perspectives and i think that's essentially what you're doing when you take a personality test you're using someone else's lens of what makes up a human what you what you are or could be and seeing where you fall in it i don't know do you think you're so not sigma that you

don't even get a percentage i well apparently i'm just not i don't register on the sigma scale i there's a special measurement tool that's just for that what is the slamming of the door that's probably fine is it this no i think a door slammed behind me oh i'm at the measurement tool i uh i took another test i am it says i'm an alpha male who's supposed to say all this stuff where's this test is it the dick measuring test is that what it is well yeah i've been letting you guys think you got big dicks compared to me but mine's been so furled up i might not be a sigma but my penis is you know you look at a tape measure you think oh it's so short oh it's fur, it's furled. That's me.

That's me to a T. You just unroll it. Yeah. You don't want me to unroll. You don't want me to unfurl. Please. I need to feel good about myself. My tiny body and tiny penis.

Bob, did we answer your objective? I feel like you did, but somehow I still feel dissatisfied. I guess that's just my omega nature. You don't even have a shadow, dude. I know, I don't cast a shadow in real life either. You'd be great for Groundhog Day. Well, I'm scared of everything, so what does it mean if I'm scared of my shadow?

Well, you couldn't be, because you don't have one. You could end winter real quick every year. If only you were a groundhog. Winter is not coming. I solved all of our problems. But Mark's muscles are. All right, listen. I don't even want to talk about this anymore.

Somehow, our discussion has made me feel worse about personalities and the tests. I don't know what... I feel like Mark feels good, you feel bad, and I feel the same. I guess I'm offended that I'm an Omega. I guess that's it. Dude, it's okay, man. It's okay. You clean up good.

It happens. We've never thought of you that way, I think. Unless we have. I don't know. I Dude, it's okay, man. It's okay. You clean up good. It happens. We've never thought of you that way, I think, unless we have. I don't know. I don't even know what it means, but yeah, come on. It's time to declare the winner. The winner is clearly the Sigma male here. It's clearly Mark. Yay! Wait, I'm Sigma?

No, he's the Sigma-ist. Sigma-ist. That's all it is. I don't know what I thought was going to happen, but I'm somehow very disheartened by this situation. I don't understand. Congratulations, Mark. Wade, loser speech?

Bob, I'm here if you need me. My personality quiz told me I would be, and I know that I would be because I already knew that. Mark, if you ever need to take a break, I'll fill in your role. Obviously, Bob can't, so I will. And thanks for having me. Well, that was nice. Mark, if you ever need to take a break, I'll fill in your role. Obviously, Bob can't, so I will. And thanks for having me. Well, that was nice.

Mark, winner speech? Yeah, I want to say I'm two questions away from confirming my Sigma nature. There's Sigma natures to go with your Sigma maleness? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I still don't know if being Sigma is good. I feel like I'd rather be Omega than Sigma. No offense, Mark.

Oh, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. But, like, I'd rather be the opposite of you i think no no no no no no it's it's all right it's all right um one second well while he's finishing bob do you feel like these results are what you expected us to be oh god yes oh my god yeah i feel like that must be accurate. What did you get? Oh my lord. I am a stone-cold sigma male. Look at that. Look.

Am I a sigma male? Stone-cold sigma. There's no doubt in our mind. Is that a picture of the werewolf from Jacob? From Jacob. It's the werewolf from Jacob. It would seem Jacob were From Jacob. It's the werewolf. It would seem Jacob, werewolf guy. God, I'm loyal, diligent, independent, and real. I embody all that it means to top the male hierarchy. Oh, good lord.

While remaining free from its restraints, you're a port in the storm, a lone wolf, a strong but silent type, and at the end of the day you answer to no one but yourself with all the uh this is my winter speech by the way i don't know if you know oh okay with all the online discourse some of you have lost touch with what it truly means to be a sigma yes sigmas are a force to be reckoned with but they're not aggressive true sigmas are value driven empath, empathetic, and moral. They want to make their community a better place, even if they don't always want to be around their community.

Wow. Well, there you have it. Mark has confirmed Stone Cold Sigma. That's why he wins, because he deserves it and he earned it, but also he doesn't demand it. He kind of demands it. A little bit.

Make sure you check out the merch, probably, at store.stractablepodcast.com check out mark at markiplier wait at lord minion 777 or minion 777 only if you want to oh yeah he's he's not gonna don't you don't have to and i could don't check me out i'm nothing i'm just the bottom i just don't know a little spit polish on your channel it'll oh man uh anyway yeah that's the end of this one. I regret everything. Some artist out there, please give Bob a shadow. He needs one.

He deserves one. Thanks for listening and or watching. Goodbye, podcast out.