Distractible - I Farted During This Episode

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

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So good evening, gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Brassy Gassy Bob lives a learning curve and takes a meander down memory lane. McHalee and Mark bites hard, propounds communal computing, slaps AT&T and displays dominance. Or does he? Wick-like Wade has worms, rejects a hard sail, unibikels, and is front-stipated with backman. From Vlad's favorite to Wade's tight hole. It's time for I farted during this episode. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello everybody, welcome back to Yesteryear's favorite podcast.

The podcast of your...your grandparents' podcast they listened to while they were slugging down their morning coffee. That's right. Podcast from a century ago. World famous, Distractable. I'm running out, this is a hard bit to do guys. I'm not gonna lie. Nailed it. I'm running out of people's favorites. Who could like us? I've already said everyone likes us. Who could it possibly be next? Vladimir Putin's favorite podcast. Distractable.

Ol' Vlad. Ol' Vlad as we call him. Yeah. You wonder who this mysterious fourth member was? Distractible. Ollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll are gonna compete to win this one to host the next one. It never ends. Please save us. But my competitors for today as always are going to be Mark and Wade. Say hi fellas. Hello. Hi fellas. One of you can listen. Oh. Damn it Wade, get your ear infection out of your ear and listen. Oh, it's okay. It's spread to my ass at this point. I'm one long infection like a tapeworm of infection How's your ear spread to your ass you go here to ask man? You go straight from here to ask you don't you never heard? of the ear to ask canal

Nope never heard of that one as a famous shipping route at the early 20 in the turn of the 18th 19th century when were canals the turn of the 18th 19th century when we're canals the 16800s mm-hmm yeah it's how I know I'm close to death if you combine hearing and arse you get hearse that's pretty good I feel like technically you get hearse but I'll give it to you there is a a passage from your ear to your throat or mouth or wherever it connects it helps equalize pressure right keep? Keep going, keep going. And if, yeah, if you keep going down, technically so it's one long continuous thing

to your butthole. So I guess he's correct. You ever vomit out your ears? Nope. What Mark is saying is it's physically possible to fart out your ears. Nope. I'm pretty sure I'm reading this correctly.

Yeah, yeah. When you like close your mouth plug your nose and blow just Wouldn't that explode your eardrums? That would be so fucking funny That would be so funny. The blood just Farts out the ears. Come on. Come on. How many points to explode live on the podcast? Hey, your ear infection will probably feel better if you just blew up your whole head. Yeah, yeah.

If you don't have an eardrum. Can't have an ear infection without a head. It's tempting. I have an episode for today as per the constitution and regulations of this podcast, but before we get into that, how you guys doing? You got any of them small talks? Anything going on? What's the news?

Well, why is he frozen? He's just pretending. He just hasn't here in fact. He just doesn't wanna go. Yeah. What? You should have picked a wilder facial expression. Okay, so like most of my things,

it's all technology based, right? Unbelievable. I, well, okay. So I've had this great before about like Intel and How the new chip that they had got shat on and it's actually pretty good So it's just like again everyone who thinks that the new Intel chips are bad. They're not actually They're really not and I talked about this on a power wash episode but I was like is there a global conspiracy to try to shut down Intel because basically America's only leading Chip manufacturer and if they don't have it if it goes out of business or something gets sold wouldn't that be anyway?

This is not about that at all. I realized that It was always within my grasp to have high speeds But I was so focused on these pathetic, pitiful consumer level things that I didn't realize that there were complete solutions to get extremely high speed data access to your computers right from your PCIe slots. What? I'm about to have 50 gigabytes per second transfer speeds.

50 gigabytes. What? From what to what? from whence does that happen? so this is there's a it's actually a relatively new product, but I could have done this at any time with Networking because I'm dumb and storage servers and whatnot. I was building this render firm And I never actually did anything But there's this card that you can put in to your your computer like a graphics card goes right in the PCIe slot right and in the back is a like full PCIe bandwidth connector that takes that to an external enclosure right and so I bought that and I have SSDs lying around because I've done a ton of storage I have

movies and I have files and so I if I never throw anything away or never throw it sell anything. So if I reformat them put there I get a full eight SSDs and VME SSDs of speed through a full pipeline right into my computer And I've been dealing with piddly little Thunderbolt with its 40 gigabit per second connection when I could have had 50 giga bytes per second of pure data transfer. Wow, that is a lot. Potentially more actually, potentially more.

I don't think I have enough data that I've ever stored on any hard drive that that makes a difference to me. I would just be able to jump my shit back and forth across that all collectively as one hunk. That's a lot of things. It is so much, but let me tell you, I still, even after all my networking improvements that I've done, my editing process, I had to transfer the movie to a new drive, because I wanted to work on it with a computer with like a 4090 in it, which I have. But transferring it just to even an array that I have on fast drives through Thunderbolt, it took a day. It still took a day to transfer this stuff. Jesus.

A day. And that's an improvement from the three days it took like maybe a year and a half ago, two years ago. It took a day. I don't have a day to waste for this to transfer. And then it failed the first time, so I had to do it a couple times like it always does. When I- if I have this, I could transfer the whole thing in It probably would still take like three hours, but three hours is better than a day, you know, I mean, yeah That's a dramatic improvement. But damn it's still a long runtime Oh, you know what you could do is just play the movie on the screen and aim a camcorder at it And then just then you'd have it on the camcorder. You just send that to whoever Then it's only the runtime of the movie itself, which you know, that's pretty good compared to a whole day

Yeah, man but these the the the world of Technology out there is so vast and there's so many obvious things that I don't have the problem is it would tell I'd have To get it onto that drive in the first place and all of my other slower things. It would still take a day to get it onto that big fast array, but then I could start transferring it to everything else faster. Anyway, I don't know anything about technology.

As much as I yap about it, I really don't. No, I've been trapped in that pit. We've talked about this before, I think, but you know that graph of like, you're starting to learn something and you feel like you're learning learning and then you keep learning and you fall into the pit of realizing how much shit there is that you're never going to understand. And then you're supposed to keep pushing through and climb back out on the other side and now

you're an expert. I've been trapped in the middle part of that with technology my entire life. Like I know enough to be like, oh, that's so much cool shit. I don't know enough to use any of it in a useful way or to know what I should do. I'm, I know every time I have a tech problem, I'm like, there's definitely a solution out there for this. But I, all I can think is Google how transfer data fast and then see what kind of like, I'm, there's a,

there's a gap in between what I know exists and what I can actually put to use but I mean yeah legitimately that's what it is I feel like you're you got to be close to coming out the other side because I'm sure there's a ton of shit that you're aware of that you're like you don't understand or you don't but you know so many things you've done so much cool stuff I bear apparently I don't even know the beginnings of it because my render farm is very powerful,

but it still is woefully under, like, you know, the Nvidia CEO, what he's talking about, the more you buy, the more you save with his $10,000 graphics cards. While he's hawking a server rack that's as big as, bigger than the shelf behind me, that probably cumulatively in the whole rack costs like ten million dollars and that's just to go really fast

You need a render cooperative or a render collective farm What? What is that? A group of farms Those are types of farms Those are- You're talking like a ground plowing kind of farm and a co-op kind of deal. What a name that would be though. The render collective. This is my render cooperative. I have 16 garages each stacked with every bathroom in every building

I have access to stuff full of stuff, full of servers. I have a man with ten garages There was a town that once had like only one internet provider, right? It was probably spectrum Let's be honest. It's probably always spectrum They had one internet provider, but everyone is so fed up because they were providing bad service and stuff So the whole town just said collectively we're gonna start our own internet provider Cuz fuck you and they just bought one server for like their town and they hooked into the grid that is is public grid the the the actual infrastructure going interstate and inner inner city is like public because it has to be and then like I

mean occasionally they'll lay their own cables and stuff like that but usually it's like infrastructure level. So they tapped into that and were like, we're going to manage our own internet. And then they tapped in and they started providing internet for the entire community at way faster speeds than the other company was doing. And then they took it over. Right. Are you looking that up, Bob?

I'm Googling it. This appears to have happened multiple times. I'm seeing a person named Jared Mosh started Washtenaw Fiber Properties, LLC, to provide internet to his rural community in Michigan. But there is a similar type story that happened in Dillon Beach, California. Apparently this has happened more than once. But yeah, people just get sick of the ISP being useless garbage. And it turns out if you have enough resources or a small enough community or both, you could just do that. I can't believe we're all still not mad

at like AT&T and those other fiber companies where in the 90s or early 2000s, the government basically allotted billions of dollars to put fiber across the whole United States. And they did it. They did it and then they just didn't use it. Or in cases they didn't do it and they took the money and ran.

But there are fiber lines everywhere and people have forgotten about it. I actually didn't know that that happened. Oh, absolutely. They didn't know there was a fiber line literally connected to my house. I had to have someone from the company come out here and look Because I was like I think I've started before I was like I'm gonna pay for someone to dig a line because I'm like

I just need fiber. I've bad. Yeah here It's only spectrum is what it was and then I was like I'm just gonna pay for it and by the time they came I hear some grunt who console we'll see how long is we just got to find where the closest junction is and then they went around back my house there like gotta find where the closest junction is and then they went around back my house they're like oh you know pluck the string you see them unwrapping it yeah we'll have to install one and it was crazy because the installation cost was a big fat zero dollars because even they were like well we don't need to do anything turns out all we needed to do was, oh, look at that. Look at that.

You got fiber. Look at that. Yeah. That's, that's, it's just stupid. And then of course the power company ripped that fiber right out of the wall when they were replacing one of the power poles nearby. That's the best. They had to make sure they sprayed the ground to mark where the cables are so they knew where to remove them. Yeah, we'll fix that for you if you pay us. Dude, construction guys are wild about that stuff.

I don't know if this is universal, but my parents, when I was in high school, had a deck. We had some issues in our backyard. We had a deck, but it was flooding the basement. It was a whole thing. So they had guys dig out and put more of a foundation in. And so they were digging pretty deep into the backyard. And this dude was on an excavator.

I think he had a fixed, like exterior fixators on one of his legs, because he had been in a pretty horrific motorcycle accident, but he was on the excavator, running the drop site. He was the contractor. And he was like, just dug up a wire, like literally was all, and the wire was like stuck in the bucket of the excavator. And he, like my dad and I were kind of around and we saw that we walked over and we're like,

oh shit, whoa, what do we do with that? And he climbed out of the excavator, climbed up across the boom arm onto the bucket and was like holding it with his bare hands, no shirt, just like, get off, get off, get off, get off. And we were like, what if there's a power line, you fucking psychopath. And he was like, that's probably not. That doesn't seem thick enough that it would really hurt me. They hardly ever bury these.

You think? And it turned out it was a power line that really fucked up the power to our house pretty good and they had to fix that. But he just literally was just like Get off of the thing! God dammit! We were like, wow, we're about to see a man get fried. Oh shit. Good dial 9-1 and wait 9-1 and wait

Anyway, I love when construction guy I'm gonna give myself I'm gonna give myself one for that Yeah, Bob that might be biggest laugh if that comes up. Yeah, give yourself a point for that. Bob, that might be biggest laugh if that comes up. Yeah, give yourself a point for that one, Bob. He's gonna be in the lead, man. Wait, we gotta get up. Nine one wait is the best thing I've heard. Well, modernly, on cell phones, I could just type in nine one one, but don't hit call.

So it's even more efficient, you know? Anyway, that's all I got for my updates. I didn't know that thing about the government paid them to put fiber and then they just straight up didn't use it though. That's dope. Yeah, they built a nationwide fiber optic network by commissioning a bunch of companies and it cost about $200 billion to replace the existing copper network with fiber to

serve the nation's homes. Bringing fiber optics to every home would have cost anywhere from 150 to 500 billion. Yeah, it wasn't fully deployed the pocketed a lot of money and there's it's called the broadband scandal or something like that. Neat. Yeah so you know people should not be happy about. I'm still not happy with AT&T for their stupid bullshit 5G whenever I had a 4G phone you remember that and then 5G was starting to roll out and then same phone but AT&T was like what if we rename what it currently is

Which 4g to 5g e it's like the 5g experience that was their excuse I was so mad I was at the gall like the sheer balls to just do something like that Mark they just needed you to buy some more stuff, okay? Do you know how hard it is to get people to give you their money and give them the minimum amount possible? You know how complicated that is. As a general business practice, it's tough, man. I think you should have a little more sympathy for the big companies. You're right, you're right. What am I, what am I thinking? I think you're not giving them enough credit. Why small talk is related? It has to do with...

Solicitors. Think you're not giving them enough credit. Why small talks related it has to do with Solicitors Whoa, I don't like that very much. Yeah, I did neither cuz you know, we have a no soliciting sign We put on our driveway cuz I got really fucking tired. We're like girl scout cookies only I don't get them I don't understand if someone sees that sign and they're like I'm a solicit and you know what? I'm a solicit so good that even though I ignored their sign, they're gonna want what I got. Like, all right, fucker, what do you want? Why are you at my door?

Listen, I was looking at your house from this angle where I can't see anything on the roof, but you know what you need? New gutter guards. I'm like, I don't fucking, no I don't. Unless you do, let me tell you more about our no, I don't please go away But what about our gutter guards? I don't know if that's the brand that's a brand name I don't mean to insult gutter guards with some kind of fucking gutter protection. I wasn't even listening

salesman is weeping Leo DiCaprio maybe No! It's the Leo DiCaprio meme, he's like, it's a guy, it's a guy I told my boss about, he just wouldn't buy my gunner guards. Now there was a guy at our door, he rang the doorbell, we weren't at the house at the time, rang our doorbell and then just stood outside

for like five minutes, just waiting. Like, oh yeah, I heard the doorbell 10 minutes ago, sorry, I thought I'd answer it now. Three hours later, comes back, does the exact same thing. And apparently he did the same thing to one of our neighbors and our neighbor was like, no, we don't want you. They have a no soliciting sign. Maybe you shouldn't go there either.

The guy's like, I don't have to listen to those. It's like, what do you expect to happen? Do you think I'm gonna be so enticed by your shit ass product to be like, oh man, I should have extra solicitor sign. Please solicit me more. What got to do is you got a walk up to the door with like a notepad and just be like oh are you registered as a solicitor in our county did you register what's your name and do you have the number on the

registration just so I can look at they they'll scare him away. A registered solicit fender? Is that funny? I was about to laugh at you. I said it, I was like, I immediately feel bad. That's not good. Well, you feel bad for who? The solicit fenders? You're gonna defend the solicit fenders here on our podcast. On Vladimir Putin's favorite podcast, you're gonna defend solicit fenders.

I'm sorry, Mother Russia. I don't know, they're's. I'm sorry mother Russia. I don't know They just annoy the shit out of me. I don't know what they expect. I mean it must work I I'm with you, but it must work right they spend a lot of money on people who where that's their job where they go Around and sell solar panels or gutter guards or whatever it has to work enough for that to be worth it because I wouldn't I never Would and I never even entertained buying a thing from those people. What the, they must get someone? Who's doing that? Whoever's doing that, you stop it.

If it's like a kid for a school thing, like, you know, they're doing a fundraiser or Girl Scout cookies or something like that, it's like, okay, that's fine. Like, those are exceptions, but like, someone over the age of 18 who's coming to sell me some bullshit, it's like, I'm not gonna change my, nothing you can say unless it's just like,

would you like the suitcase full of money? Like then maybe be like, you know what? Sure. Yeah, bigger, no solicitor sign. They didn't see it. That's the problem. Yeah, that's probably, yeah. Like the size of like a graduation celebration sign,

like, you know, like 15 feet. It's always like house repair, tree removal, or a bug, getting rid of bugs. They're like, hi, I'm not Terminix. I'm that other company. Bug, go bye bye. Would you like some bug, go bye bye sprayed on your floors? What do you mean spread on my, there it is.

See, no bugs on your face. That'll be $50. My dad actually had that happen. Not in the face, right? But it was some, I don't know, like a cleaning spray salesman. And he not only threw dirt on my dad's shoes, he like, splashed, and then sprayed it, and it just made like this muddy, horrible mess. He's like, what the fuck? My dad was so mad. I remember, I was just a little kid at the time it was like

your dad your dad's fresh moccasins and he's like this will come right out look at this paint permanent marker yeah sorry I'm just I fucking hate solicitors I hate them I hate when they come to my door and they don't leave and then you tell them no and they're like no do you mean like actually yes wait hold on just give me paper discount yeah you're not obligated to be polite with them you can literally just be like nope close the door i know that's hard for me to do i'm like no thank you like you don't have to like threaten them or be rude but you can literally just be like no no thank you you want two times the product no no fucking god might

sounds fun that's like the party but have they come since the sign that's the question yeah they walk past the sign or in and out they walked right by it in fact the dude had like one of those little one-wheeled segue things where the fuck they're called the The little wheelie thing. Oh, oh, a one wheel. Oh, this little one wheel thing. What are they called? I don't, I don't know.

Unibikels. I don't fucking know. Unibikels? Yep, you're getting closer. I have a feeling. Uni-wheely. Shall we do the topic? What is it?

What is it? What is it, what is the topic? What is it? What is it? What is it, man? What is the topic? Well, you're going to love it, Wade. It's a quiz. Oh no. I'm the quiz.

No, no, no. It's okay. I know that you know the answers to these. It's a quiz about stuff that we've done, guys. 20 easy quizzes. No, it's not. I I haven't honestly I couldn't think of a name that works in that naming convention but look I have a list and the answer is only real or fake that's it there's no it's it's another binary

choice it's a list of titles of episodes of distractible. Oh fuck. Fuck. Some of them are real and some of them are made up. We are not involved in the naming process. I have never once looked at the titles of our episodes. I just wanted to go through it. Just see if we remember what we talked about. There's only- We've done like 500.

How are we supposed to know? Oh, it's like 400 or less. It's not that many. Oh... 400 or less. Okay, sure. Anyway, some of these, some of these I feel like we should know. Some of them I didn't realize were real titles, so we'll get to those as we get to them. I just, I want to talk about it. I was interested. I've always, we've done so many of these now. I don't remember them all. I'm not claiming that I do. But I'm just curious how good your guys'

memory of all the fun times that we've had is. I'm gonna flip a coin to see who goes first, I suppose. Oh, and I do want to address this. Someone on the subreddit had a gripe about how we flip coins that they they ascribe to the Flip theory of flip catch put it flip it onto your hand. That's harder to show on camera That's the way I do it normally but yeah Well and several people like their original comment was like these fucking idiots Don't even know how to flip coins. Is this an American thing? Or what? It's a coin flip!

Flipping it onto the back of your hand doesn't do anything. It's just a flip. Yeah, that's just one more flip. Unless you look when you catch it and then you decide in that moment and you're just manipulating your coin flips throughout your entire life. I feel like that gives more chance to do the cheating, Whereas this is like, whatever it lands, you have to. What I would really prefer to do is how they do football coin flips, where you flip it and just let it fall

on the ground and then no one's touching it or anything. It's just like, it lands how it lands. Anyway, to that person and the comments on the subreddit, shut up. Yeah, heads are an asshole, tails you suck. Oh, looks like anyway lady is weighty and lion is mark I love the rhyming pattern lady is up first shit wait that's good bad is it I don't know it weighty the lady is up first it means

you have a very slight advantage in winning the episode which is what you want good so it'll be even more embarrassing when I lose. Yeah you should win now. Yeah you're on a pretty low streak so I'm rooting for you buddy. Thanks man. I'm running out of episode ideas you keep making me crank them out. I can't keep them up. Alright guys. Somehow I still feel insulted by this. Man how many ideas you think I have? Come on. I only had to win the first three seasons. Give me a break. Alright Wade, real or fake, the episode we did that was called Cheesecake Protocol. Fake? What have we ever talked about cheesecake on this show? Whatever.

Good job. Good nose. Good sniffing. Okay, alright. 50-50 on that. I felt like that was a 50% chance I could have gotten that one wrong. It kind of is just a 50% chance. That is how that works, yeah, no. Unless you know anything, unless you have information, it is kind of a fit, yeah. Can't pull anything by this guy, he's sharp as a w- This is why I have such a good winning streak going. Sharp as a rivet, this one.

Uh, Mark, real or fake, we did an episode called Aliens Among Us. Well, I mean that sounds like something we'd do. I can't remember. Did we? Would you like me to answer or? Nah, I'm asking God. Did we? Did we? You have to ask dramatically if you want him to answer. You know, I'm actually going to say no, because it sounds like somebody would do, but I can't remember what we would have talked about.

Saying fake. Yeah, I think it's fake. That's real. Ah, you were, your instinct was accurate. We did do that. Wade, true or false or real or fake? More accurately, we did an episode called moist appreciation. If we didn't, I like it. We should.

I don't like it at all. These are just episode ideas. All the fake ones are gonna make. I literally opened up my podcast ideas sheet for this. No, no, you can't. Whoa, no. Hey, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. To write new ideas. Well, these are already written on my ideas list, so I guess we'll see who wins first. Well, let's see who gets them first.

You have to actually win an episode to host something, so. How am I allowed to cheat, Bob? How am I allowed to cheat? How much cheating can I do? I will allow you to browse our Spotify listings. That seems like a bigger cheating than... You know what? Here, I'll read you my ideas written.

No, I won't. I don't wanna spoil it. No, no, stop stalling. Real or fake. There's only two things I- fake. He keeps getting it. There's only two things. Ralts. Well, you're correct. That is fake. But also, you had a decent chance of guessing that one. Moist. I don't remember the idea. Moist appreciation. Moist is an idea for an episode. Mark, real or fake, we did an episode called The Egg Gambit.

The Egg Gambit? Yeah. When would we have talked about egg? I don't know. We've probably talked about eggs at some point, but Nah, that sounds fake. I don't think that was real. That is infi- Infi-fique! It's feek! Great job!

We keep changing the terms of this! Wait, what do you mean? What was it? Real or fake? Wasn't that it? True, false, real, fake, feek? I corrected myself from true, false. Calm down now. Alright, the egg gambit. Fake. Great episode idea, probably. Wade! Real or fake? We did an episode called Toilets and Triumph. I've had a lot of toilet talk over the years.

Yeah, you have, you really have. But have I ever been triumphant in them? It's like one of your favorite topics, really. It's got alliteration, it's got toilets in it, it's gotta be true. Oh, I'm sorry, Toilets and Triumph is fake. You know what, it's on the list. Oh, I just sorry, Toilets in Triumph is fake. You know what? It's on the list.

Oh, I just gave you a point for being wrong. Hang on. I take those. We'll correct that later. Hang on. Okay. I take those. Mark, real or fake? Real or fake? We did an episode called All-Nighters. I'm sure that's real. We had to have. Right? Are you asking God again? No, you.

Maybe. Are you God? Yes. No. Yeah, we dead. We dead. to have right are you asking God again or no you maybe are you good yes no yeah we'd we'd uh we'd we'd add uh if your answer is real your answer is correct yeah i think i remember we talked about all-nighters because we shared times we did all-nighters well fuck i'll erase that from my list i just write it in wait real or fake we did an episode called mind control for beginners. I think we skipped straight to intermediates if I remember right? Mind control for beginners. Yeah well yeah what would we have talked about? Imagine it because you were there if it was real. False, I don't think so did we? Nah you're right that's false. Sounds like a good one. Man these all sound like great ideas. Yeah write that down, write that down. These are bangers. These are bangers right here. All right

I swear this is just a randomly assorted list of the stuff I came up with but I feel like you might get me might get This one mark real or fake mark. We did an episode called 20 more questions at least I Love that this episode is coming up in the exact context of the episode itself, where it's like, you probably should remember it, but also is this a trick question? Okay, so you did 20 easy questions, and then you did it again later, I know that, and then there was a most recent edition of it. So if it was real, it would be that What do you what do you say the title was the title is 20 more questions at least? Least is in parentheses at the end. We do love a good Parenthetical I'm gonna say true real real true. That's real

That was the that was the the second 20 questions episode. Yeah Damn, you even guess which one it was. I marks encyclopedic knowledge of our Episodes I think I've gotten two rights encyclopedic wait real or four four Wait real or fork the fork I use see my salad at Olive Garden last night go Oh shit, it was a spork. I used to eat my salad at Olive Garden last night. Go! Oh shit, it was a spork! I used a knife, because I'm insane!

Eugh! Uh, wait, real or fake? We did an episode called The Giraffe Incident. What the- Sounds like a good episode. That sounds good. Did we ever even talk about giraffes in this show? False. You're correct. And I love that that's your reasoning is we just never talked about giraffes. I mean, that actually was my line of thinking. I was like, did we ever hear about giraffes?

I'm a giraffe. I'm a giraffe. The only time I could think about a giraffe coming up was whenever we did this drawer smell. I think I've had a small talk about James feeding a giraffe because he's done that multiple times at the zoo. I feel like I've talked about that, but it was a small talk maybe, but never an episode about giraffes.

I don't know if you've seen our show, but a lot of some of the episodes are basically just small talk. I don't know if you've ever seen that, but all right. That's probably wrong. What are you laughing? Sorry. I just, this title made me laugh. I'm, I think- Spoon or false! Sorry.

Alright. Real or fake, we did an episode called Not My Grandma's Funeral. That's a really good- That's a great title. I know! Isn't that funny? Cause is it, is it not my grandma's funeral or not my grandma's funeral? Not my grandma's funeral?

That is such, it's such a genius episode title. I'm going to say it's fake just because we couldn't be that smart. You are correct, sir. Not my grandma's funeral. It was my grandma's bar mitzvah. Got her. Or something. However that gets her, it's got her.

That definitely got her. Oh no, it got her. No, not my grandma's funeral. Grandma! Wade, real or fake, I almost said fork again. Real or fake, we did an episode called Thousand Hour Energy. Okay, I'm having a vague flashback to us talking about energy drinks.

Yeah. Well, I only drink three energy drinks per recording session when we do the show, so I'm sure it's come up. I'm going to say this one's real. Oh, you are correct. That must be the one where I drank in college, like six, uh, amp energy blues and then three, five hour energies I think and then I almost died yeah I think I think the title came from we had a bit where we

were talking about if you just stacked five-hour energies you could drink enough to where you'd have a thousand-hour energy yeah something it was something like that yeah I just remember that that blue amp pyramid of cans in our dorm room that went floor floor to ceiling We're gonna be reflecting on this. It's gonna be an episode that came out two weeks ago is is amp even sold anymore I don't actually know it's got a website still. Yeah the future. Oh, no, that's that's actual power Amp energy, it's a solar panel. So let door-to-door soliciting service. It seems like amp might be gone.

It was a subsidiary of Mountain Dew. Oh, now it's called Mountain Dew amp. They have kickstart, but do they have amp still? It's like Mountain Dew amp now. Okay. I think if I remember, they no longer have sugar-free ones is why it doesn't exist to me. As of this year, it's discontinued.

Six months ago, there's a post on the Mountain Dew subreddit. Partner went to 7-Eleven to get his amp. Store owner said, pretty sure Pepsi had discontinued it because unable to order anymore. Damn, that had a following. Mark? Real or fake? We have an episode called Cursed Sandwich. Cursed Sandwich? We did, we did do several food episodes. We had a bread. It was called bread,

but we had that episode and that sort of sequence where we talked a lot about bread and things. We also had the one where we talked about how to make sandwiches. That's true. Did we? Was it where we use spoon or knife or peanut butter or whatever? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that this episode? I don't fucking know. You helping me?

Is he helping me or hurting me, Bob? Yes. I would assume he's trying to hurt you, but... I'm gonna say, because I have this vague memory of it, I think. It's real. I'm sorry, that's a fake one. I almost just gave you a point for being wrong. I'm just so proud of you.

We've all been talking, we've talked about every one of these so far. Whatever. That's another banger though. Like seriously, I'm keeping this list after the fact. This is, these are ideas right here. Wade, real or fake? We did an episode called,

Spaghetti Laws. Fake? I've got no trigger memory whatsoever from spaghetti laws yeah that's fake see you guys know stuff yeah Jeff little surprise wait is the one who's knowing more of them but I mark is just mark is just too trusting right now hey come on man I'm very I'm very convincing mark real or fake we did an episode called all the same person Was that like a three-headed no we would have called it three-headed expert if we I think we have an episode called three-headed

Something looks we did do that kind of one. Yeah all the same person though Sounds fake. I'm gonna say fake. Oh, I'm sorry, that one's a real one. Oh, God! What the hell's that one about? What is that? What was that episode? I gotta be honest, that's one of the ones I don't know.

I have no memory of what that is or what, what, if that's, anyway, it's fine, it's fine. All right, all right, all right, all right. Ooh, actually, wait a second, is that made up? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, is that? I'm glad I checked, I'm glad I checked. I think all the same person, I think that might be a lie. I think I might have just, yeah, well, look,

this is what you get when you do shoddy research. Did you guys see the person, have I talked about this? The person who cosplayed us? Oh, the three-headed. I did see that. Yeah. Yeah, that was great. So horrifying, but so good. No, you know what, Mike? Mike? You know what, Mike?

You get the point for that one, bud. That's a point for Mike. Unfortunately, that point does not go to Mark. No! Sometimes Mike just comes out of nowhere and steals your points. Oh man, I hope Mike doesn't get a fork. Fork or spork? Shit, I don't know, God. Well alright no you get the point for that one I don't I don't know if I had a

stroke or what but that one was labeled incorrectly that's fake obviously none of us remember doing that yeah we remember these other ones like this one maybe right Wade? Real or fake? We have an episode titled bread is a conspiracy fake it's just right sure about that yeah fork fork fork it's fake now you're right that we didn't do that that's a that's a terrible episode name if we did bread I doubt we would have done that as a follow-up unless it was an episode called bread followed immediately by an episode called Bread as a conspiracy. So no bread, Brake's cutting.

That's an old one, eh? He's busting out the old jokes. You're making him feel nostalgic here. This is the only way to trigger his memory is to give him like memes that he remembers and then he'll actually know where he is in time. Wade at 89 years old in the nursing home and the grandkids come in and they're like, Remember, remember, Grandpa remember grandpa? Break skateboard? And Wade's just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mark's turn. Mark, you sure? I don't even know who I am anymore. Mike's turn. Real or fake? We have an episode called acronyms, but better.

That's real. I remember that one. Yeah, that is real. That was that was fairly recent, actually. I mean, relative to some of these. Wait, I think that might have been. No, was that your idea? Was that my idea? I don't know whose idea, but we did it.

I think that was my idea. I think the acronym one was my idea, but then we also like Wade, that that preceded Wade's like old timey sayings one. And you also did one that was kind of in a similar vein, I think. I don't know if mine followed yours or, there was kind of a series of ideas

where we were all kind of, we had a brainwave, you know? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Me. Real or fake? We have an episode titled... Dumpster Dads. If we don't we will.

Real. Sorry, that one is fake. Fuck, not for long. Either way, Wade wins. I don't know what it'll be about, but I'll find some in there., that's that's a banger. I can already tell. Mark real or fake? We have an episode called actually nothing. That sounds like something we do. We've had a lot of nothing episodes. One of them had to be called that, right? Hey, there's Wade helping you again. Better listen to your friend Wade. He's definitely trying to help. I got you bud. I'm right here on the good angel side.

Nah, he's trying to trick me after the fact. I think that is real. I think that is real. It is real, you're correct. Actually nothing. So yeah, I had your back the whole time. But who's got your back? Me.

Back man. Back man? Back man. You don't have to laugh,'s okay I didn't wait real or fake we have an episode called quantum boredom sound place probably real also the reason I didn't laugh at your back jokes I was trying to think of a way to make back shots a joke in that but I couldn't think of anything that's why I didn't laugh what was real quantum quantum boredom I think we had a quantum something or another,

but was it quantum boredom? Fake. That is fake, you are correct. I'm having a real hard time writing today. I think I'm losing function, guys. I think I'm going downhill right now. Hey, me too, I'm dying of ear age. I need my ear in age.

Maybe you just need to go ear in age. I've been trying to leak out of this ear for days. I'll stop trying to piss out of your ear. What's a front, when you're front-stipated? What's it called when you can't? Front-stipated? Front-stipated. You got a name, that's it.

I got that for my ear. Mark, yeah, Mark. Mark, real or fake, we have an episode titled, Mouth Noises and Mayhem. Mouth Noises and Mayhem? That's a great, it's a good title. You know, this is kind of the same way that I name my video title sometimes. You know, the accessory title outside of the game title.

I just make up something that has nothing to do with the actual contents. I sometimes forget what's in there, and I'll just like say some- and the description will be nonsensical. I farted during this recording. That's a good one. Can we name that this episode? I farted during this episode. I'm not opposed to that. I probably- I definitely did fart during this recording. So it's it's even accurate I'm a little I'm a little gassy today health sounds and mayhem. Is that what it was mouth noises and mayhem mouth noises

Okay, specifically I'm making mouse noises therefore must be real What a strong course of logic Unfortunately, that one's fake. So, but Wade real or fake? We have an episode titled not financial advice. Were you looking when I did that? Cause there was a visual component.

I saw the quotation fake. That one's real. I thought it was called legal advice. No, we the not financial advice one was I forget what it was but we were talking about stock trading or we were talking different than illegal advice. Illegal advice was shooting God with a shotgun and to five gallon buckets of wheelchairs or some such some kind of thing I don't remember. Still makes me laugh. It's always funny. Mark, real or fake?

We have an episode titled, The Great Hug-Off. Hug of War would have been better. Do we have that? You remember we all hugged each other a bunch? You don't remember that? That sounds like a thing we do. I'm going with fake because I don't think, please don't tell me that's real.

Hahahaha! Please don't be real. Please... No, that's fake. That's fake. Yeah, Hug of War would have been better than The Great Hug-Off. Well, why don't you suggest these names when we're making them? Because we didn't have that episode, man, or I would have.

Mr. Name Master who hears a name and declares it's the best name he's ever come up with? I still to this day don't know what the fuck Candy Uncle is and people talk about Candy Uncle all the time. You remember Candy Uncle? Oh, I love that one. Apparently everyone did and don't remember anything about it. It was a method of disciplining your children. Candy Uncle is a character actor that you hire to be their uncle and if the kid eats too many pieces of candy the uncle starts to get sick and if the kid doesn't listen to you and stop eating so much sugar, candy uncle dies because he ate too much candy and it teaches your kid a valuable lesson about moderating their

income, their intake of sugary snacks and stuff. God, I can't wait to forget this in two days and people be right back in square one. How are you going to not remember one of my greatest inventions of all time? Was that my invention? I always think it was mine but I don't feel like it was mine. I came up with that. Oh yeah for sure. I'm welcome. Mark you just did hug off right? So Wade, real or fake, we have an episode called shirts off gloves on. I like that one so that's gotta be real. That's fake. You know what, going back to the drawing board, still winning no matter what. We have had an episode that's kind of like that. I feel like

there's an episode called Our Shirts Are Off or something like that. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Our Shirts Are Out is an episode that we did in March of this year. It's almost like it was crafted to deceive. Pitch. All right, Mark, this next one is really tricky. Okay. True, uh, true, true, true fork, Mark. We have an episode called Aliens Among Us, part two. Okay, this counts on me remembering the answer for the previous time this came up.

20 easy titles or more. Oh no. Oh no. Yeah, I know. That is an interesting thing. I sort of assumed you'd remember when we talked about the first time this came up, but I forgot that you might not. But it wouldn't matter if I remember that because we might not have done a part two

Hey, well, that's the second half of centrifuge Subterfuge it was such a long episode. We broke it in two pieces. Okay. I'm okay. I think we did the first one It's unlikely we did a part two of that one. I'm saying that part two is false I'm sorry. part 2 is false. I'm sorry that one's real. How can I get both of them wrong? I got the first one! I don't know!

God! Aliens Among Us Part 3 coming in 10 questions. Alright, who kicked this off? Wade kicked this off. Let's do one more go around and we'll see who knows what. Wade, real or fake? We have an episode titled, emotional support vacuum. Fake.

Final answer? Yes. You're correct, that is fake. Emotional support vacuum does sound pretty fake. Yeah, but it sounded too fake. I was like, that's so bad it could be. Yeah, that's what I was going for. You read my vibe too aggressively. All right, Mark. Mark, we have a real or fake, we have an episode titled Wade's Hole. I've had a few. Wade's Hole. Wade's Hole? Oh, is it put together hole or like an orifice hole? I'm willing bets orifice

Oh, would you bet that it's it's whole as in like hole in the ground. I've had bad luck so far I'm a flip a coin Heads is real tails is false Disagree with the coin so it must be true Wait what? It's real, true, false, or fake I just wanted to see It's one of those things where you flip a coin and you know what you really want in the air That's what I wanted to get and I got it

So that's... What did I say it was? You said true I think? Yeah it's real, Wade's hole Uhhhhhh I'm sorry that's a fake one Right! Wow I thought that was real too Wouldn't that be one we would do? That does a fake one Wow, I thought that was real too

Wouldn't that be one we would do that does sound like one we would have done. I'm bad at this guys I'm really bad at this. I'm excited to see some of these made-up episodes come to life though I'm not gonna lie. I gotta figure out what the fuck I'm gonna do for dumpster dads Well, anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and recap the points. In no particular order, I got one point for Dial 911 and Wait. Ah, that's still funny. Mark earned points for Putin's favorites, crispy bites, egg gambit, all-nighters, 20 questions at least, grandma's funeral,

all the same person, acronyms but better, actually nothing, and great hug off. Wade, you earn points for, you far? Here plus arse equals hearse, registered solic offenders, cheesecake, moist mind control giraffe episode, thousand hour energy, spaghetti laws, bread is a conspiracy, quantum boredom and emotional support vacuum Score is tight gentlemen score is tight tight. That's very tight, but now we proceed to the wheel spins

I gotta come or no, I don't have to you gotta come up with one for that You can come up with you if you want to you have you have one or no, let's start here Let's see. Let's see. What does the wheel say? How many that's what we want to know All right, it's three again. Isn't that exciting? Yeah, that's three chances to get the tie It's the maximum amount of exciting we could have to be honest. I do not have planned out what I'm gonna add I want to just type real or fake, but I don't know what that would mean. It's not a thing. Oh, I know hosted previous or fake but I don't know what that would mean. It's not a thing. Oh I know! Hosted previous episode. It's a bonus for people who were already winners in recent memory. But you do have to

remember if you hosted the previous episode or not. I feel like if we can't recall who hosted, which does happen because sometimes there's gaps in recording, then that's like a respin. That's fair. I like giving winners advantages, you know? And we get three wheel spins. So number one is best looking. I just showered. You just showered before every recording just to be sure? Hey if it keeps my hygiene up you know? Dude my ear is leaking I don't medicine I feel shitty and gross Yeah, wait, wait, it's been moving his headphone like a creep Mark's definitely the best-looking

Congratulations Mike spin number two I don't remember what this one Okay, all right It just says witness protection, what does that mean? I don't know. Well okay, alright, let's try to think back. Oh, oh, I remember! This is for whoever looks like they're in a completely undisclosed location. Like, I think it was one time I was like huddled over in a closet or something. Oh yeah, and when you were in that attic where it was like an unfinished space Well, we're all we're all just in our normal offices. So I want to call that a respite. It just says a witness protection Good job past us don't use too many words or anything most

Distracted I mean my instinct always leans toward Wade on this one. He was distracted by his ear pain. I'll give him that There's a lot of movement. No wait gets most distract. I won't argue. You won't argue for you. I won't fight this one guys They look for the team here, it's very brave of you The classic point for listeners. It hasn't come up much at all that is kind of cool. Yeah I like how we we complained about that cuz we got it out bunch and then it just like stopped happening. Yeah then we got a tie a bunch. I love that you have the history. Point for listeners, point for viewers, point for viewers, point for listeners, point for listeners. That was twice in the same day too, right back to back.

Well you're back listeners, there's your point. Well done listeners. That settles the final score and of course that means that Mark earned a final score of 11 points, I earned a score of 1, tied for third place with the listeners also with the score of one and Wade earned 13 points that means you win way good cuz I wasn't listed Did he miss a single one of these he did really well, but that he did drop a couple Later on in his in his answerings. It was pretty close It was really good if If you had gotten one the

wheel spin that Wade got, we would have had a tie. That would have been nice. And then I would have been angry at the listeners for making that happen. But so it goes. Congratulations, Wade. Winner speech. This was a fun one. I enjoy looking back on our history and seeing what we remember and what we don't and mostly don't because I really don't know what the hell we've done. But I was prepared. If Bob's ice box or fridge came up, I knew which one of those two was real probably. I won't say which in case it comes up next time. No spoilers.

Oh yeah, there's six parts of this coming. We have 400 episodes, so there's a lot to get through. Don't worry, we'll be back to this. Fair enough. Uh, Mark? Uh, loser speech? Uh, it just goes to show, I only pay attention during the episodes, not after. I have not looked through the back catalog. I have not listened through.

I have on occasion. I will say this in my own defense. Occasionally, under strange circumstances, I will listen to an episode that we've done in the past, and it's always a good time. So I think that there's some good stuff stuff back there but even then I don't pay attention to the name because we don't say it in the episode largely doesn't matter so that's all the excuse I have just like this one that's for some reason gonna be called I farted during this episode I'm sticking with that

that's the title for listeners and watchers. You've known that the whole time but joy to us Thank you competitors for competing Wade. You'll be forking the next one because of your win Make sure you follow mark and mark Plyer waited Lord minion 777 or minion 777 me at my skirt my names are on the screen if you're a watcher that will help you spell them and Yeah, make sure you follow the podcast. That little plus thing, then you'll know. It'll tell you when the thing comes out and you'll know to watch it. Merch, definitely.

Su-su. The six O's. Maybe even now. It might already have happened. Well, we gotta run some tests first. Thanks for listening. Thank you for watching. Slightly less.

Kick that, watchers. And for listening. Thank you for watching. Slightly less. Kick that watchers. And that's the end. Podcast out.