Distractible - I Quit (Part 1)

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

The guys are FINALLY back! But where have they been? Listen as Mark talks about his emotional adventure from the ER to South Korea, and Bob blames Wade on Twitter for the missing episodes. #blamewade Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This week, Magnificent Mark shows his mettle as he flies across the globe to show his respects to one he loved. And then, he has a miraculous medical experience.

Bob has an anniversary and thinks he can outrun fire. And ghost hunting Wade moves house and has a spicy encounter. From ordering lakes of blood to Ouija boards. Yes, it's time for I Quit Part One. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Boy, did I really do it the hard way. Boy, am I... Can I be honest? I'm just going to acknowledge this. This is recorded well after the next couple of episodes that are going to come out. I made a horrific mistake. If you're all angry that we didn't have episodes for like a week there, I know everyone was like, oh, we have theories about why this is happening.

It was actually literally my fault. I told the guys some that I think I told them Wade was supposed to host when I was supposed to host. And we just straight up skipped an episode. Do you know how many blame Wade tweets I got just because you put that in your hashtag? I honestly felt bad about that. Like, I did that as a throwaway. I was like, I'll say it's my fault. And then everyone got really angry. You did. You literally in the tweet was like i'll say it's my fault and then and then everyone got

really angry you did you literally in the tweet you're like it's all my fault and then you put like hashtag blame wayne and every comment was like yeah we did this that son of a bitch it's true it's not it's you would think after some of my after such a long time of that being a constant issue in our dynamic people going way overboard on being rude to you and shut up way and all this stuff you think i might remember that that's a prop no i just did that without thinking and immediately everyone was like all right fuck wade i found it funny it helped my twitter interactions because those still matter right yeah are you talking about threads threads you guys want to talk about threads oh god i haven't made it one you already have one because you have an instagram

right you do have an you have an instagram right i do i don't even know if i follow you do you post on it i don't know if i follow me do you have to follow yourself i didn't finish the intro no one cares look i'm the host they're competitors this is going to be a pretty unhinged episode because it's all my fault. We've been frantically scrambling to try and get together, and we finally did. But there's so much to catch up on. As usual, before we get into the content, it's very planned and scripted and well thought out. We're going to do small talk.

I do have an Instagram. My last post, I'm pretty sure, was the dessert that Mark never got to taste. In October of 2022. That's your last Instagram post. You know what? I'm throwing some rocks from my very big, very fragile glass house. I will. October 14th of 2022.

Let me look. My last Instagram post was April 3rd of this year. That's my birthday. Yeah, I'm not much better. Yeah, I don't even think mine's that recent either. Oh, no, it was my hospital post. That's right. That was on my birthday. Classic Markiplier moment in the hospital. Banger engagement. Yeah. Hang on. I'm gonna get a photo of us doing this podcast man that'll go on instagram eventually guys just wait i i looked at your phone on your screen instead of my camera so yeah so i've got uh great stuff this is the content everyone's here for if you don't watch

it if you don't watch the video on spotify you have no idea what just happened no not at all it wasn't good but it was great. Yeah, anyway, it literally actually was my fault. And I could have explained that all on social media, but I chose not to. It wouldn't have been a big deal if it just hadn't happened at like the worst time for everything else. Yeah, well, it was a pretty bad, unfortunate time. Mark was in the hospital twice since the last time we recorded it.

Yeah, what do we even talk about i don't know let's just catch up on what the hell happened and how's everyone doing so it started out on my birthday right we were doing some pickup shots for iron lung um so i was working on my birthday already uh and it just so happened you know in in iron lung there's some blood so uh also side note we might have the world record for most blood in a horror movie all that that's kind of impressive i need to do some calculations but i'm almost pretty sure we have it that's because there's some horror movies that like the blood i know yeah and there's a there's a nebulous quote out there that says like the new evil dead used 50,000

gallons of blood. And I'm not one to, like, really call out anyone on weirdly big round numbers. A jillion gallons of blood. We are a jillion. But if you know, I looked this up before. I got to look it up again. Like, how many gallons in a tanker truck? So you know those milk trucks or gas trucks that like-

It's like 10,000, 20,000, I don't know. It's 11,000 gallons in a tanker truck that big. The reason I know quantities of blood and how much space they take up is because we had to order a metric fuck ton of blood for the movie. So I know how much space it takes up. And there's a big difference. We had to order a metric fuck ton of blood for the movie. So I know how much space it takes up. And there's a big difference. There's a big difference between taking food coloring and putting it in water and calling that blood and ordering actual like viscous blood.

Human blood. Real blood, which apparently you can order cow's blood. If you want to know that, i looked into that as an option i'm gonna guess that that's not good to get on or in you so much as the synthetic stuff though yeah our careers have us on some fbi lists with the shit we've searched i swear to god yeah so it's it's like i i would love for that other movie to have used 50,000 gallons, but that is such a strange round number with no evidence behind it. Uh, and even that with that quantity where we might be really close to that number and I'm doing the calculations to get there, but it's like, God damn.

Uh, yeah, it's, it's a lot. When you get into that quantity quantity it's just like astonishing anyway so i was uh you know you're using blood um and some blood got in my eye that's not good um so what it did is it dyed my eyes red it literally just like like that's why it was so vibrantly red it wasn't just like my blood vessels in my eyes it It was literally, I got, I got blood in my eye and it died at red. That's what that was. And I went to the doctor. Doctor said, you're fine. It'll go away in a few days. Give me like an antibiotic to squeeze in my eye just as a precaution. And I thought everything was totally good. Right. And then I, like I'm on the way home. Literally when I get back home, I get a call from my mom from my mom that's uh my mom tells me that my

grandma is not doing well my grandma in korea is like my last grandparent left uh and i said to my mom immediately okay let's get a flight let's get out there and she's like well i don't know i got to take care of the dogs i'm like it doesn't matter go put the dogs like in in some uh care center like immediately the next day let's buy like next day flights out um so we got him it was like i got the call on thursday my birthday was on wednesday got the call thursday and then it's like i booked tickets for saturday to go internationally to korea um and on friday i got a call from my mom at five that my grandma had passed away and it's like holy shit like number one i'm glad i i urged the tickets faster but number two is like oh my

god i'm going to korea tomorrow so i had to get everything like lined up that's why that's the real reason like distractible like wasn't there just in case people wanted to know it's not not way it's false not boss fault it's my my grandma's fault that's who it is we have episodes though it is my fault like i that's very nice of you to take that that's a real thing that happened that prevented us from recording this exact episode but we have like other episodes after this we would have been fine okay let me take the moral high ground here guys it is not your fault mark it's not your grandma's fault bob it is not your fault it's both your fail your faults how is it your fault no it's not my fault at all and i refuse to take blame for it yeah he's

taking the moral high ground the high ground he's on the high ground because it's not his fault so it's me and bob's fault and not my grandma's fault is that what you're saying okay i understand okay good well i don't want to blame your grandma i feel like that's some karma i don't need so i'll let you pass the buck on that one it's it's one of those things where like i i am actually okay with it now and i'm like i'm not trying to poke fun at it it's like people lose grandparents and it's not a good time uh my my my grandma uh she had she had not been well for a while i think she had alzheimer's and you know she was in a in a good care but obviously like this

this was a long time coming still hurts just as much to lose because it's my last grandparent and um going there was a surreal experience so i didn't sleep at all during the flight and i get we land and we get a call up family and they're like are you gonna pick us up and they're like no no no no we're at the funeral home get a taxi to come over here and i'm coming off of like 24 hours of no sleep. Like, okay, that's what it is. And so like, it's emotional.

I get there and like we arrive, it's eight o'clock, nine o'clock at night. They, I, oh, and I lost my suitcase. My suitcase got rerouted to Alaska. So like I was going there with just a backpack,

no clothes. He's flying to a peninsula. Oh, which one? I don't care. I don't... Whatever. Send it to Alaska.

That's probably the same. Yeah, so I had nothing. I walk off the plane and I'm like, everyone's else going to get their luggage and I'm just standing next to it like, I wish. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? You got clothes in there? I don't. And I had like my suit in there. And so I brought

everything, you know, and my toiletries and whatnot. And so I get to the funeral home, the equivalent of a funeral home in Korea, obviously culturally different. And thankfully, they had a suit ready for me right then and there. So I'm like, great. OK, I put the suit on and we immediately go into like the ceremonies. They had already gotten started. And so we're in Korean culture and my family is predominantly Buddhist. So we're like leaning towards Buddhism. And so it's set up in a different way. There's shrines and there's incense and there's bowing. And this is where the strange thing is for me, because I'm half Korean, but obviously I grew up in America.

I don't know a lot of the cultural traditions. I know some of them. I've been to Buddhist temples and I've been there to honor my grandfather, stuff like that. But I get there and I'm there and I am the eldest of the children. I am the eldest male child. I'm the eldest of all the children. That sounds like a meaningful role.

It is apparently uh so suddenly i lead all of the the things i lead them i have to lead them and i'm delirious from sleep and it's okay because at first it's like okay it's it's the lighting and incense it's the pouring of the alcohol it's like the the honoring three times you bow three times and it's like that's that's part of it um i just go first and that's that's totally fine um so we get through all that it's like an hour and a half of doing that and then we're it part of the funeral home is also like a restaurant because it's like it's about like honoring and then eating and korean culture food is extremely important okay i thought you meant like people were in there like

at the restaurant while you're having the funeral in the other house. You're in like the McDonald's play place funeral part and there's people over having their dinner in the other part. Sorry, I didn't specify well enough. It's like an area. It's like a cafeteria, not a restaurant. You hear the ding and it's like another family comes in for cheeseburgers while you guys are crying. A guy wanders directly into the middle of your ceremony and is like, the bathroom? I thought the bathroom.

No. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, everybody. I'm going to go poop now. It was like 11 o'clock at night and we're all hanging out and, you know, it's emotional. Talking to my cousin, Hyungbae, all my cousins. And they have friends there and family, extended family is there.

Like a lot of people I haven't seen before because it's like extended family my family over there is huge like i i have like six aunts and then like so or five aunts and then so many cousins all over the place um but predominantly it's like the direct family but we're there 11 we talk until like midnight and i'm i'm so delirious and so i ask kyungbae in broken korean like hey when do you think we're gonna go to bed and he's like bed and he's hey, when do you think we're going to go to bed? And he's like, yeah, when do you think we're going to go to bed? No bed. No, no. No, we and he gets my cousin who knows English a lot better is like and then speaks to him Korean.

But I know a lot more Korean than I did. And I heard some words like, you know, you know, a vigil. So they're holding a vigil, which is saying, stay up all night and make sure the incense doesn't go out kind of thing. Which I'm laughing right now because it's like, at the time, I was like, I can't possibly have heard that correctly. Because you survived, you can laugh about it now? Yeah, because I couldn't possibly have heard this.

Because I hadn't slept for about 36 hours at this point. So I was like, you know, just going to stay up another 12 hours. possibly have heard of this because i i hadn't slept for about 36 hours at this point so i was like enough just gonna stay up another 12 hours and i was i was so down for it you know i was like for my grandma i'm down for it i'm okay like this this is to honor her life make sure the incense doesn't go out to guide her soul into the afterlife like that's what it's all about and i'm like fuck yeah i'm doing it i can. Give me some coffee. They got tons of the Korean mixed coffee. It's great. But then my mom comes in and I'm like, I think I'm going to stay here.

And she goes, no! As loud as she can, like just screaming in the middle of the cafeteria. You're going to go to the house. You're going to go to bed. And I'm like, what? I want to stay here. Like, no! And then, you know, my cousin's office was like, no, he's the eldest son. He's got to stay here. He's got to do this. And then my mom's just like, no! Shut up! Shut going to bed and i'm like yes mom and so i go to

bed i go back home which honestly thanks thank goodness because i was literally not even knowing my own name at that point because it was just like it's like you wake up in a fever dream and you're just like in a different country and you're just suddenly bowing in front of a portrait of your grandma and it's like it's just lighting incense and you wave three times and you bow two and a half times not three two and a half it's just like it was a very surreal experience and then the next day i discovered i had an ear infection what the hell so some of that blood it didn't just get in my eyes it got in my ears lord but i forgot about the ear part um so i wake up and i'm leading the whole thing because i got to carry the portrait.

And you got to put gloves on for that. You got to carry it a specific way from the bottom. All this like I did not know. And all the while, my ears are just exploding. Like there's more pain is like jabbing into my ears like someone that has two nails and they're just digging around in there. Oh, and you flew with that too. Yeah. So I think the pressure definitely forced some of the blood down further um which made it worse uh and this is where i discovered the glory that is the

korean medical system oh so we get done with all the rest of the ceremonies we bury we go to the crematorium we bury the ashes we do more ceremonies and then it's over about four o'clock and they're like okay the doctors call the the hospital they call it pyeongwon they like it's actually hospital um it closes at six so we are like okay we got to get over there i get there five right i don't have like access to their their single-payer system so i have to pay the exorbitant fee of fifty dollars uh to get full comprehensive treatment. To get inside the door? To get everything. So I get in there at 5. At 5.05, I am being seen by an ear, nose, and throat specialist.

There's a camera in my ear at 5.06 looking at the blood in there. I walk out the door from the ear, nose, and throat specialist. specialist you know the guy you'd have to wait like two days you'd see three months after your initials yeah no sure the third person you see because they take you to like something else to get x-rays i swear we walked in there and my cousin was like oh no i give him my passport like i'm american citizen and they're like okay we're gonna go up to the fifth floor it's like okay i don't know why oh because that's where the ear note and nose and throat department is and you go and walk in and it's like i didn't know i thought it was like rooms like it was a bunch of small rooms like you know a hospital room you go and you sit on the table and you wait no open the door and there's like a full ear nose and throat setup a doctor

waiting there type in on a computer he's like yeah please sit down shoves a canter my ear right away walk out of their 515 with a prescription walk downstairs to the pharmacy where we walk in at 5 like 17 and they fill my prescription in two minutes what's four different medications in two minutes this is the part that sounds like a fever dream to me it It was stunning. You know it takes at least three hours to put pills in a vial. So I don't know a lot about your family or where they live, but they don't, this is not like some gigantic in the heart of the city medical complex where there's like hundreds and thousands of staff members. This is just like a normal doctor facility out near like where your family lives.

Yeah, my family lives in pochon so they live about an hour out of seoul it's not a small city but it's on the smaller side it's kind of like suburban almost yeah it's it's like it has suburbs and then its own downtown it's probably like a 50 to 100 000 people kind of city but so this is not some like sprawling medical center where this just this is just the doctor's office in the city. One city block. It's like, you know, in Cincinnati, you go to the medical plaza. That's what this is.

And I'm in and out with my medication, my diagnosis, the doctor treated me as well, also cleaned out my ears, gave me eardrops in 20 minutes for $50. So how much money did you spend in total? $50 for the doctor? What were your prescriptions? Plus 20 for the prescription, $20. So how much money did you spend in total? $50 for the doctor? What were your prescriptions? Plus $20 for the prescription. You spent $70 to see a specialist

and get four prescriptions filled in under an hour you were in and out? Under half an hour. That's the most insane shit I've ever heard. Like, what the hell? And you have to go call in your prescription and wait either two hours or till the next day to get i know and just all my escapades with cvs like blow my mind this is no

coverage right this is you have zero coverage in this country yeah oh yeah this is without insurance this is uninsured this is just paying the premium for whatever they charge you is in america that's thousands of dollars i yeah and weeks and like eight doctors and then yeah no at least two at the very minimum you probably are seeing at least one person before you see a specialist you're going to an urgent care or something it was just so efficient too i was not the only person in there in the waiting room there was like maybe like seven or eight if i go into an emergency room and i've been to a few and there's seven to eight people there i know i'm waiting two hours yeah you're good for hours we took early on with the baby he had kind of a fever one night and so we were like panicky parents and took him to the er there were three or four people ahead of us we were at the er for six hours

and he saw the doctor for 20 minutes because the doctor looked at him and was like ah he fine and then we left and that cost us more than you paid there i know i think we spent sixteen hundred dollars for an ear infection for molly at an er and the doctor spent all of three minutes with her after we waited an hour and a half to see him i feel like we're focusing on the part that is least personal and important in the bigger picture this is all not to discount how how the ceremony and everything of course right right yeah it sounds like a nice way to honor uh you know a person's life but man that medical stuff blows my mind it's unbelievable i know i also just i'm imagining i don't know if you even had to

explain it i love the idea of you kind of speaking korean but not having the language maybe to tell a korean doctor like yeah the blood in there is fake blood from like a movie set oh he spoke english oh he just spoke perfect english it was fine he didn't oh well well that's not funny change the story come on i was like he did look at my eagles like what the fuck is he didn't say that but he said the korean equivalent of the jelly like it's like so it's like jelly in there it's like it really was and i just like it was stunning like every every part of that we go back to like you know my my family's house over there and we eat we eat that's the other part of the ceremony is just we eat until we pass out and we did but uh yeah no i'm i'm doing quite well it was

great to have that closure i'm glad we could be there i saw some family that i haven't seen for a very long time and just like yeah it's never good losing a family member but it's like you know with this i i actually do like the way the the ceremonies were. It was extremely like honoring of the memory and everyone was there and everyone was able to get their emotions out and get their closure. It was just very, very good. I just liked it

a lot. I'm glad you were able to make it too despite two hospitalizations and everything. And having to go back, the whole reason you were even in Texas was to reshoot some stuff, right? was like yeah yeah we got everything we need extra task on top of all that yeah yeah it was more pickup shots anything we didn't reshoot anything it was just like some extra stuff we knew we needed i mean so what you saw the doctor on like sunday evening basically or something i got there sunday so they went on monday okay okay so all of that was within like five

five or six days basically yeah yeah usually we record these episodes and it's like a couple like a week or two ahead this is like when you hear this this will have been within a week and we are currently seeing within like 10 days of your birthday almost happy birthday happy birthday yeah and happy anniversary bob hope you had a less exciting time we went out to lunch and Wade happy that future horrifying event that's going to occur thanks man well that was a really good small talk

I guess I don't really have much to add yeah what's new with you Wade what kind of match that Mark gets points for such a such a dynamic life he leads that that's deserving of so many points we moved into the new house which the next few episodes won't have been in so they won't have will be in wait for the quality to go up next time we had company come stay with us for a week three days after we moved in uh we got new

computers we got a generator installed so fourth of july i went over to my mom's and we like my family came over we had like a little get together for fourth of july and we had a weird event where we were sitting around talking and one of my like mom and sister's dogs went and like was chewing on they grow like their own like herbs and vegetables and stuff in their went and was chewing on, they grow their own herbs and vegetables and stuff in their backyard. And the dog went and started chewing on one of those. And mid-sentence we were talking to my mom and my sister, my mom just starts yelling, Jalapeno! Jalapeno!

Jalapeno! And we're like, okay. We were talking about cameras, mom. What the hell? What just happened? And she's like, well, it's hot. I was like, excuse me? It's what we yell to the dogs to get them to stop eating stuff they're not supposed to because jalapenos are hot i was like you trained them on the jalapeno a four syllable word to sell them to

stop or hot they're like well no we didn't train them so why do you yell jalapeno guess the dog knows jalapenos are spicy and the dogs don't like spicy food but the dog doesn't know jalapeno it's just as fucking shocked as we are that my mom goes from talking calmly and normally to screaming jalapeno like she's being murdered in the backyard we trained our dog to react to me screaming nonsense words out of nowhere very hysterically. It always works. Because it's just so shocking. My mom would be like, oh yeah, that's cool. Jalapeno! Jalapeno!

And I thought she was being possessed by a demon because... Did we do an episode since I went ghost hunting? No. Wait, you went ghost hunting? Yeah, I did go ghost hunting. I don't know if that video will be out yet. We're actually waiting on a cameo from an expert in the field to fully edit the video.

Look forward to that. But I went ghost hunting down at Bob Mackey's, which is in Newport, Kentucky. It's like a bar that has a history of being owned by the mob and people being uh interrogated in the basement and other such events we went down there and uh filmed some stuff and uh nobody would do the ouija board with me except for d live everybody was afraid like even non-believers were like uh ouija board which i don't get it what is so special about a ouija like you'll get a spirit box you'll be like ghost show yourself give me pinch me suck my balls ghost punch me ghost but if you touch a ouija board you're like what is your name they're like oh don't ask that not on

a ouija board that's and the ouija board like says fucking parker brothers on the bottom so it's a goddamn kid's toy but for some reason it's the scariest ghost hunting device and i don't understand it it's because they're real wade okay the rest of that stuff is technological google gobble wiki ports are made of wood and like plastic and glass and whatever and it's just real it's just the spirits reaching out and sending you a message okay people are walking around with their holy water their cameras their emf readers all the other devices and they're, pinch me, throw a table at me, do something. And I'm like, what year were you born?

They're like, oh, you fucking fool. That's a Ouija board. So we wrap up and we're coming home. And I was like, hey, can you guys carry this out? I was like packing up equipment. I was like trying to get someone to carry the Ouija board. No one would touch it. My sister went with this and she was like, I'm not taking that back home with me

because it was their Ouija board. She's like, you can have it. So I brought the Ouija board back and now I own a Ouija board that everyone thinks is possessed by a demon. And when my mom started fucking screaming jalapeno, I was like, oh my god, they were right. She's possessed. You look over at the window and the Ouija board is pressed up against

the window and the thing is just frantically pointing at guests. The Ouija board is all up against the window and the thing is just frantically pointing at yes. The Ouija board is all yes, yes, yes. Yeah. But that was the only thing that could possibly have explained jalapeno until she told me what the hell was going on. But ghost hunting, man, is it more expensive

than I thought? And it's like four or five hours of being in a very uncomfortable building uncomfortably with not much happening. You make it sound so fun. Okay, well you could make it fun. You don't have to sit there and be unfun. We could have. We could have pretended and shit. I think one of my friends did. I have a dream of us filming

an episode of this in a haunted location and doing like, you know, Cryptids Part 2 or something. But like... I have one requirement if we do. I don't want to go to a dilapidated building or something like condemned or like sketchy. the bottom the basement of bobby mackie's part of the floor they're like this is the gateway to hell it was like a bootlegging tunnel that's so ill-maintained it's like collapsing on itself and they were like don't go stand there unless you

really want to and it's like no i don't want a fucking broken ankle i'm not gonna stand there i don't think modern air-conditioned spaces are haunted way and i think that's sort of part of the they could at least repair the floor look if you could disturb the ghosts okay if the thing is is that it's a haunted space you don't want to do anything that's gonna oh that's true ghosts hate carpenters it's a known fact that they do that they do. Yeah, obviously. Bobby Mackey's is a bar that functions on Friday and Saturday nights.

So a bunch of people go down there and become drunken assholes. They're like, the ghosts don't mind that. But they're like, oh, this floorboard's collapsing on itself. Now we couldn't possibly touch it or the ghosts might be disturbed. Are you familiar with ghost behavior? Throwing things across rooms knocking things off of walls slamming doors ghosts are here for shenanigans they love drunk people i sat under things i was like you can collapse this whole shelving unit on me throw this cue ball at me

punch me in the dick bite me in the dick do something ghost i'll regret it but at least i'd have some evidence of something. And, well, my friends had some evidence they claimed. I've got to look through the footage and see what they got, but I got fucking nothing. Apparently, they don't like bald, middle-aged men or something. Maybe your pessimistic attitude scared them away. Yeah, maybe it's more that one. Maybe it's your non-believing. If you actually were afraid of a Ouija board, they might be more into you.

And your avant-garde Ouija board usage. Yeah. Maybe it's because you got a cheap Parker Brothers one and not an actual authentic. I thought that was authentic. Is there a brand of authentic Ouija board? Real Ouija boards are hand-hewn by Monsieur Ouija himself, obviously. They only come from the Ouija part of France. Yeah, everyone knows that.

You were using a sparkling board. That joke really landed. It's the same board that we used for Drowned Man. Oh, well then you know it works. Yeah, that's extra cursed. So you're going to burn that house down now that you moved into the new one? The Fiery Man! I don't want to be the Fiery Man.

Please don't wish that upon me. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no. What other disaster is funniest? What disaster would be funniest to befall you? The Gas Leak Man! Yeah! Dude, I just had propane work done.

Don't wish that upon me. The Carbon Monoxide Poisoning Man! The Bad Grading Man! All the water's gonna drain right up Against your foundation Your basement's gonna be so moist The sinkhole man Ooh, that one sounds dangerous

No, oh the other ones are safe Yeah, probably, I don't know I don't like any of this shit for the record You know what's gonna be cursed is your car You ever get a car, that's where it's gonna be Well, I've beat them to the punch. If you don't have one, they can't curse you. The semi-man.

The crashed man. The crushed man. Well, that sounds violent. Oh, yeah. The fired man sounds so less violent. You can run away from a fire if you're crushed. What are you going to do? Uncrush yourself?

I don't know. All the people that have died in fires, they just didn't run fast enough. Yeah, idiots. Obviously you just run away from it. Fire can't be that fast. Silly, silly. Hey, speaking of houses we used to live in, we sold our house in the interim there. Wow.

And man. But you look so the same location. Yeah, no, we don't move for a while, but it's... Your lighting's great, though. Yeah, well, I had to take the... I had windows up here that used to be covered, and I had to take the covers off because we're showing the house to people,

and it looks so much better this way. I could have had it this way the whole time. I'm stupid, though. Do you want to see what I've got? Unless you're outside, I think everyone knew it was going gonna be a wall fuck you know what else that i've done that has changed my life forever bought a couple lights and put them right behind you in shot i am now an apple and mac guy oh weren't you already friendship with windows is over aren't you on a windows

computer right now okay never mind aren't you on a mac pro right now didn't you literally don't you have a quote on steiger dynamics website that's like a month old it's like i will never buy a computer from anywhere else you're their mascot

why are you an apple man okay sir what happened why did this change your life you know i've had all those thunderbolt problems and like you mean how you don't understand the simplicity that is the usb universe sure go on uh it turns out you know what what Apple is saying about how, like, it's really good for creative, quote unquote, things. What they didn't say about that is that if you just use a Mac and you connect to your NAS, which you've been bashing your head against the wall about trying to get full speeds through your 10 gigabit, you know, local network. And it's not getting 10 gigs down. It's not even getting close, getting 700 megs read speed on an ssd nas and you ask yourself why is that but turns out if you just plug a mac into it it goes full speed and you don't do a thing wow turns out that the the new ones the processors i could have

been editing on my laptop this entire time and i could have done 8k raw on my laptop really all the problems you pretty surprising but also somehow less surprising than it seems like it should be so yeah so you're literally gonna edit what you're gonna edit the movie on a macbook now no i bought a mac studio i bought a last generation one because there's delays on this one but i'm trying to schmooze my way into some good deals so yeah i'm big fan of apple now you know how they like to sponsor people and just toss stuff around apple needs apple needs the exposure look if there was a use case for it because i don't know if they need like people to spout out how great they are like a windows user converting because i still i'm going to use windows but it's like holy crap my eyes were

actually open because i'm like these new processors they're making are actually good for the specific my specific job except for the recording part obviously i need to play games and a lot of them are windows only but it's like for specifically the editing part of everything holy crap it does work so yeah i quit windows wasn't that the name of this episode? I quit Windows! We didn't get to that, but yes. Oh, right. Nice segue, Mark. Aha!

38 minutes into the episode. Look, we might not even talk about the topic. I do have a topic, but we just had so much to catch up on. We needed to have a discussion. Technically, the topic and i guess the title of this episode is i quit um because i was gonna ask you guys if you had any funny you know quitting stories one of my current obsessions online is i i read on reddit and other you know where it's wherever it's posted social media places people's funny stories about quitting

right where the the quintessential one is like i i scheduled time off i'm off this weekend you know it was just the fourth of july in the u.s so it's like i scheduled off so i could be with my family for two days i scheduled this months ago and my boss texted me the day before and was like hey i'm gonna need you to work tomorrow and the person they always start the same right the boss says that and the person's like oh i actually have scheduled time off uh you approve that you know back in april or that and the person's like, I actually have scheduled time off. You approve that back in April or whatever. And the boss is like, yeah, well, I'm unapproving it. So I'm going to need you to come in tomorrow and the next day.

Sorry, no time off. I'll be there too. And the person is like, well, I'm out of the state visiting family. So I'm not coming in. And it always escalates. I don't know what it is with managers, but it always escalates to like, well,'re gonna come in or i'm gonna fire you and then the person is just like all right fuck you i quit this is awful i hate you so much but

like you know that's i love that there's so many stories of that that's just so satisfying and i was just curious if you guys had any like before we get into it if we're getting into the topic 40 minutes in isn't this gonna be like a two-hour episode i was just gonna let you each tell like one story and then end it i only have one but if we only have one then we can make we can be really efficient about content and we can make an i quit too people love that that's true weird no you're right people were so about it universally loved except by all those people who didn't i don't know who they are they loved it though they loved it so we could stop declare a winner based on the person that said most and had the coolest interesting stories i think i've aged 30 years in the last 20 seconds.

No, you know what? I'm going to stop you right there, Mark. And I'm going to say that's the end of the episode. Yes. We introduced the topic. We're not going to talk about it. If you want to hear about stories about quitting, you're going to have to listen to I Quit Part 2.

And that's not going to be the next episode because that one already existed it's something else but i like i like everything that you said mark except for one part and we'll get to that but i agree with you we should definitely give points and decide the winner based on who said the most i think that makes a lot of sense uh also maybe who had the most compelling trying and and personally challenging time over the last week or so since we've really talked to each other. If there were any, I don't know, any heavy stress or any big moments, life events, things that just, it all factors in. And if you really look at it, I think there's a clear winner. You look like you're expecting something, Mark.

I got a bad feeling all of a sudden. No, no, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right, except for one thing. And despite the fact that you're the clear winner and also you deserve it, and also I want to give it to you because it's just like a nice gesture. And I, you know, I want you to have that. Wade already hosts the next episode. Oh my God. Am I getting a fucking i have to

win so despite the fact that um wade uh you know sort of was just a passenger here and this was very much a mark vessel episode i think we all know that the winner already is wade they don't because the episode doesn't come no we talked we talked about that but before i start getting hate for this win and the pity for mark comes in just remember who told wade he was hosting the next episode he's sitting in a purple fucking throne of lies i feel like what if i give you a delayed win mark what if i what if i go into debt here? Wade has to take this victory, but what if I promise you the next time I host, you win

no matter what, so you get an obligatory win. Hopefully Wade has an absolute banger of an episode, and then you win despite that, and then it will really balance out. I'm taking a vacation day. Do I get that shit? No. God damn it. Oh, sorry.

I quit. Wait, that means that Mark wins I Quit Part 2, I guess, technically. The next episode's already done. Yeah! Well, that's not the next episode, but my next hosting episode, maybe? I don't even honestly remember. This is a real puncture through the fourth wall of the distractible universe here. I gotta be honest.

I think that this somehow is both extremely fair and extremely unfair i think it both honors my family and dishonors them hashtag blame wade hashtag blame wade everything can be summarized in one very succinct and completely if you fuckers are going to spam me with hashtag blame Wade, at least reply to one of my fucking tweets so I get the goddamn interaction for it. I get so much interaction off of people being mean to you, Wade. You know what? I'm preemptively tweeting for replies to next distractible episode.

Put your thoughts here here future watchers. Congratulations to Mark on a moral victory and a guaranteed future success. More importantly in this moment, congratulations to Wade for me being completely incompetent and forcing you to incorrectly host the next

episode, leading to a whole sequence of events that ultimately led to Distractable taking a week off. I take the blame. I know I put it on your shoulders on Twitter, Wade, but I take the blame. And I will give you the honor of winner speech, even though you really, really didn't earn it this time. I both feel

like I'm being honored and dishonored by the words you're using. No, I'm pretty sure it was mostly positive. Right? Give your winner speech. Come on, buddy. Don't quit on your dreams, because someone in your life might fuck up bad enough to grant you a temporary win.

It's not temporary, it's just empty and hollow. It's permanent. Okay, well, thanks, man. I'll put that tally on the empty and hollow win list. There's a lot of those. Okay. You know, we could just not. If it wasn't both chaotic and insulting, would it

really be an episode that I hosted? Isn't that my entire thing these days? That's all I got. I wish I could quit, but I will be here because I'm either contractually obligated or I'll forget about all this stuff because I have a bad memory. One of the two. Congratulations. Mark, I want you to give what is

realistically a loser speech, but what I'm going to call a future winner's speech. Because that's what I am, a future winner. I think it's very clear where distractible as a group's morals and opinions stand. And I think that everything that we've said today, we can stand by for the rest of our lives with our heads held high and our dicks out i applaud our efforts to stay the course in our own moral victories which i have both that and future victories thank you for your time love you grandma well i can't be mean to you now because

that was like a sweet thing to add on there, so fuck you. That felt mean. All right, no, you know what? Excellent speeches both. Congratulations, both current and future winners. And yeah, that's what an episode. I wish I wasn't the host who was known for episodes that derailed so badly that they embarrassed me in the actual moment we were filming them, but what can you do? Welcome to being the asshole. I've spent 10 years in that role, Bob.

Enjoy it for a week. It's been more than a week. But I'll take it! That's the end of the episode. Make sure you get some merch. There's definitely merch restocked at this point, because people have been ordering it and getting it! It's out there! Fuck, I need to get some. It's a thing! I have bought zero distractible

merch. I'm not gonna promise it didn't immediately go back out of stock, but if you may have had a chance or is it stored up yes door.structablepodcast.com that's the place and make sure to check out mark and mark flyer wait is lord minion 777 or minion 777 then you know they do stuff online I am my skirm bob mark's friend whatever you google it'll come up that's the end while mark and wait order some merch I'm just gonna say the thing. Podcast out.