Distractible - I Was Wrong...

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

The spelling of certain words, sex ed miscommunications, examples of the Mandela Effect: the guys humbly admit when they were wrong... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production with your hosts Morriband Mark, Blissful Bob, and Wandering Wade. This week, the banal bickering bunch bring their brilliance to the bravest of broadcasts. Yes, it's time for what some find the hardest thing to say. I was wrong. Please prepare thy humble pie and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractible. This is a podcast. We talk about stuff, usually not the topic of the day, but sometimes the topic of the day. And I get to set the topic of the day because I'm the host of the day and I will do that. But first... Can I pick? No. Okay.

I was going to introduce you. You talked anyway. That's Wade. Wade is here, everybody. Hey. You know Wade. He's one of those guys. The other one that's here is Mark.

That's me. I wait my turn. A point for waiting your turn, Mark. Excellent job. Thank you. What about a point for eagerness? No. The eager beaver doesn't get the worm.

I... The patient bird gets the worm. Pretty sure that's the same i i thought the earlier you went the more likely you were to find worms no no that has nothing to do with it it's about being respectful gotta have respect anyway for being outside the norm then absolutely not all right uh small talk small talk we usually make small talk uh i got a rug in my office did i talk about that already did i tell you guys about my rug no you asked if we knew about your rug it's purple big helping with the sound bounciness on

the floor yes it's a floor rug and there are some people that put rugs on the walls yeah that is a thing decorative i kind of get that i kind of need some wall rugs because my i my office is a hard box got hardwood floors and hard walls, and I have not sound treated it even though I've been recording and streaming here for months now. You're getting some of those soft walls. Very good for supporting your house. I mean, I do. I need soft walls.

Well, I mean, actually, that's not a bad idea. I look up a lot of like acoustical treatment because I've been doing it lately because I have a new office and it's just like, if I just put a carpet on the wall, like a big shag rug, that would be cheaper than some of these acoustical panels that they have. And it would probably be better. Well, that's the thing, right? They sell those big like sound blankets that you're meant to hang over walls and stuff. They charge out the ass for what is effectively a quilted, you know, synthetic fiber blanket.

You probably could go on like Wayfair or Amazon. I got this rug on Amazon. I think it's seven by 10, like like pretty big rectangle like 90 bucks or less way cheaper than any acoustic treatment stuff i've ever seen online yeah i'm gonna look up a big shag pick up a quilting make your own okay i don't have time to quilt my own rug thank you make a video series out of it i mean you did uh power wash sim do quilting sim hey have you played power wash sim it's a great game very therapeutic it looks great looks stupid quilting could be great too are you saying quilting is bad i'm saying quilting is not my therapy of choice oh it's my therapy of choice

for you i just want to because it hurts me a little inside quilting and rug making are two different things when you quilt you are not making a rug, just to be clear. That's fair. Yeah. Well, make a rug, make a quilt, make a blanket, make a sheet. I don't care. Make a pillowcase. Make a sheet. Make a sheet. Pretty sure that's just cutting the length of fabric. It's a sheet. Well, somehow the fabric has to be put together to make it into a sheet. Dude, this fluffy shag carpet is a hundred bucks. It's eight by 10 feet. If I was to get like an acoustical panel that size it would cost me several hundred dollars yeah and they have designs too yeah they look nice it would look nice why haven't i been doing this you'd have to just maybe get some grommets and some heavy hooks and

you could just grommet the carpet and then hang it up revelations oh my god i could you're right i found a pillowcase for three dollars it's like 18 inches by like two and a half feet good job buddy oh they have fluffy throw pillows which would be perfect base traps in the corners i just make a padded room and it would be incredibly cheap it would be so much cheaper why have i not done this i i i don't i'm you're welcome i have just innovated sound treatment thank you you are welcome thank you i think you have the russians were on to something what excuse me the russians they're the I think you have the Russians were on to something the what excuse me the Russians They're the ones that were you know, they're on to something. They're not those Russians

I'm just saying All right Well, there you have it everyone The Russians were on to something. We don't know what no no They're the ones that typically put rugs on their walls and the't that a russian thing i'm gonna go russian rug wall is that a thing yeah no no it's a thing it's totally a thing look look at this happy russian couple that i'm about to put in the discord look at this happy russian couple with their carpet on the wall look at this well that's just like a hanging i don't know if that's specifically

russian just sort of hanging like a tapestry type thing my parents had one of those is that one just a guy laying on the floor what do you mean on the wall look here's this okay if this doesn't showcase exactly what i'm talking but look at this last picture see oh my god is that andrew driver kylo down there you said andrew driver i know that's not his name it's fine adam adam that's his cousin andrew driver you're probably not wrong that's a non-purpose joke everyone calm down andrew's making a face like he just farted and cleared the room oh that's great yeah well you should get some

russian rugs then mark you know you could save yourself the trouble you don't have to buy rugs just get a sledgehammer smash your walls and make them like uneven jagged surfaces where sound just bounces everywhere anyway okay well that's a little barbaric i have a little more class than that no you know what's under there there's insulation under there probably which is pretty sound absorbent. Yeah. I bet. Listen, this is not what we're here for. Okay, great small talk, everybody. Does the insulation match the drapes?

No. We've officially revolutionized an entire industry that has all its own things and practices. But what we're here for today is to talk about my topic, which I'm kind of excited about. It's one of those ones where this might be embarrassing i hope it's embarrassing but we'll see today's topic of conversation is things you learned way too late in your life everyone has seen like those posts right like i was today years old when i realized that you drink out of the top of a cup i don't know that's a bad example but i i have one everyone at home please try to drink out of the top of a cup i don't know that's a bad example but i i have one everyone at home please try to drink out of the top of a cup yeah i dare you dude you can't do it you cannot drink a glass out of the top of the cup i i challenge you to try no no dude no you can you absolutely can

trust me oh okay yeah i've got a real embarrassing one well i have one that defines kind of my relationship to english language and has still to this day shakes my faith in my knowledge and ability to write and read English. And the way it came up was even more embarrassing because I didn't get to learn it privately. I feel like you don't get to learn it privately. But mine, since I brought this topic up, I'll start it off. The word finish. How do you spell that?

If you're finishing a race, how would you spell that? F-I-N-i-s-h you would be correct until my senior year in high school and living in a world with spell check which i used aggressively because i i'm always paranoid about misspelling things i wrote that word as f-i-n-n-i-s-h ah like which is yeah it's describing culture or things or people from finland close i didn't learn that that was not how you spelled that until i was 18 years old i'd like some oak finish no one told me that's the part that really upsets me i had a bunch of teachers all my teachers until college and people and my parents reading

my, well, I don't know if I ever showed my parents my homework, tried to hide that from them, but no one ever told me. And it's a word. So spellcheck never saved me. But I was working on a group project my senior year of high school with a buddy of mine, the guy who was the best man at my wedding. Actually, we were working on this thing. We were writing something, a paper and proofreading in it. And for some reason,

this paper used the word finish a lot, not the, not the nationality, the other type finishing something. And like 20 times in like a, you know, five pages or something. And I wrote it and I was really happy with it. And he was going over and he was like, Oh dude, I think a spell check screwed you over spelled, uh, spelled finish wrong. Like like every time in this paper and i didn't just like oh yeah oh dang it i was like no no that's that's how you spell it and oh no we had a fight about this because he was like no that is absolutely not how you spell it there's one n in that word and i was like i have been writing this word my entire life my dude i know how to finish writing the word finish and there are four ends in those two finishes we had it out he thought maybe i was joking i'm not sure he didn't take it very

seriously but it was like it's one of those things for me where i couldn't let it go probably because i realized at some point how wrong i was and how embarrassing that was um but yeah spell check really dicked me over and uh i know how to spell finish now both of them different ways and i know when to use them that's good how many points do you get for your story minus five points for being a moron is this just only going to be a negative episode like who's the lowest because we're stupid i don't know it depends what you learned and when it happened i guess i deserve to lose more points than you wait you seem like you've got a real banger what's what's the title of your whatever what happened tell me sell me i'll call it female parts oh no um okay so presumptuous mark so that means stop so stop saying so what are you doing let's feel like saying so stop i'm saying s-e-w so stop how you make drugs stop stop, do you have one or do you seed to wade?

I seed to wade. I don't seed to wade, I concede. I seed, no seed! You concede it. Seed, seed. No, seed is it, I seed my time, is that how I, I yield! Seed. Please don't seed me.

C-E-D-E, seed. Yeah, yeah, you can seed. I seed. Don't S-E-E-D me. He's C-E-D-E-ing you. It's fine. You can finish me. No, no, no.

Neither of those is good. Oh. All right. What was the title, Wade? Ladies part? Women's part? Female part? I don't...

It doesn't fucking matter. I'm excited. So... Tell me. When I was very young, like three, four years old, maybe even younger, my grandparents used to have my cousin and I like take a bath together and um you know we were really little but like I had this image in my mind of like what a female body like looked like just based on being a kid and when we got to the point

in life where we got health class I remember like learning about you know the different anatomies between boys and girls and it dawned on me like wait girls have babies how do they pee while there's a baby in there and then you know through health class i was like oh okay there's a separate tube for that so in my brain that meant there was a separate hole for that which meant like i thought you know at the between the i don't know i don't know what to call this below the belly button i thought there was just a hole not the vagina but just another hole that girls peed out of like on the front of their body just somewhere south of their belly button like on the front of their bodies there was just a hole sure and even through health class all the diagrams were always like internal images they

didn't just show you like the outside of a naked person and so for some reason i continued to believe that and at some point in life i did happen to see a naked person and i was concerned and i asked them what happened to their pee hole and they were very confused and the mood may or may not have been ruined by my wondering of why they didn't have a pee hole if you can remember how exactly did you broach that how did you phrase that question? And how old were you? You were, I assume, you know, making out and or doing whatever with like a girlfriend or whatever.

When was this, Wade? I was a legal adult. Okay. I don't remember exactly how the conversation was broached but i do remember um i was just looking and uh very confused because they looked more like a barbie doll in the front than i imagined because i was like i thought there'd be some kind of hole of some kind like you know how on the tip of our our penis there's like a hole that you pee out of and i expected there just to be like on the lower part of their stomach just a hole and it was mind-boggling to me i was like man they really concealed that

and uh whenever it was explained to me how it all works i was very very embarrassed and it's embarrassing even telling that story but i was much much older than i should have probably been when i learned that did that person explain that to you or did you did that just end that entire interaction and then subsequently somebody no that person explained it to me that that was oh that's very generous yeah um i think that they found it um i don't know cute in a way that i was so fucking stupid so yeah so yeah imagine imagine being in the mood and all ready to go and all of a sudden you stop to figure out that there's not a separate pee hole well what fascinates me is like you know the the hole on the tip of a penis is very small right so how big did you think this hole would be

that you would like how close were you looking like did you really well when i realized there was no pee hole i i looked even closer to i went on an expedition for the people without getting too graphic about it to that point in your life had used all manner of toilets and you had seen that men and women use the same toilets did you ever imagine how a woman might have to sit on a toilet given your expectation of how their systems worked i thought it was low enough i thought it was pretty close uh-huh the vaginal opening right so i figured it was the same idea i just figured they would pee instead of having like the fire hose like a dude i figured it just like trickled down the front and just dripped off okay just just to be clear you you do know that like what you're describing is not too far off

let me just make sure you do know there is a p-hole it's just not where you thought it was right yes he said that i know how it works i just thought it was more in front. Higher up and visible. Right. Okay. The naked eye. Because I didn't want this conversation and people listening at home being like, does Wade still not know that there's a pee hole in his vagina? No, no, no.

I know how it works now. Okay. Okay. Just checking. Believe me. I know. But I thought that, you know, there was the belly button, the pee hole, and the vagina. Right.

Yeah. But you could basically see all three. Well, I mean, yes. Okay, this is where I'm trying to clarify. There is a belly button, a pee hole, and a vagina. But if you're looking at a person straight on, you don't just see like a hole right below their belly button for peeing. Okay.

If I pull up a diagram of a vagina, can you tell me where the... Yes, the urethra is a different thing yes the urethra leads to a different hole than yes i know but it's all contained in one area it's not a separate hole i feel like part of wade's problem might just be that he learns really slowly uh-huh yeah yeah okay all right it could be not that you learn this too late in life it's just that you were continuing to learn it as you continued to age. And at some point that became unacceptable. We are all learners.

Lifelong. Yeah, I think I'm doing a bad job explaining this. No, I get it. I get it. But then you keep going a step further being like, that does not there. And I'm like, it is. It is there. It's just not what you.

You know, you don't just look below the belly button. Just see just a hole Right okay good Yeah, I thought girls basically had two belly buttons. What was a belly button was a pee hole right right, okay? Okay, okay, okay, man. Why don't we put more utility in our belly buttons? I feel like that's a like an overlooked resource that we could tap into what utility i would eat so much healthier if we could just open up our belly buttons and put in like other foods i would eat tacos what utility would you put in your belly button i don't know like it's another access point it could be something you know i don't know it's there we might as well

use it right how big is your belly button it's not big but it could be more capacious like everything could be enhanced i'm sorry are you getting are you gonna stretch out your belly button? It's not big, but it could be more capacious like everything could be enhanced I'm sorry. Are you getting are you gonna stretch out your belly button with like people do when they gauge their ears? Progressively larger belly button gauges so you could fit more stuff in there Yeah, you see this see this my intestines in there or sexual sexual purposes. You could have anal vaginal belly old Sexual purposes, you could have anal, vaginal, belly-al. I want you to tummy fuck me. Never mind, forget it. No utility.

Yeah, no, Mark, I like your idea of tummy fucking. That's a lot. That's good utility. You're right. That's not lot that's good utility you're right you're right my idea that's not right i'm giving you credit mark i don't want credit for anyone that's had to have a tube put into their throat like for breathing that's like a heavy smoker do you think they've ever used that hole for you know breathing no fucking oh no i don't like that image at all i'm imagining any any individual who has a i believe those are called stomas yeah i'm imagining you need to keep that fairly clean and not do sex stuff to it ever because it's probably supposed to but that doesn't mean that shut up I like that you found this nerve for Mark apparently

making anything into something you have sex with is just a big thing for Mark oh I'm sorry yeah it's a big thing for me I'm sure no one listening at home is like no I don't want to hear about that tummy fucking no I don't want to hear about someone's stoma being improperly utilized no I don't want to hear it

would your penis start being digested by stomach acid if you did that? What? Oh, my God, Wade. Please stop demonstrating how little you understand things. What? Never mind. God. Maybe you're assuming someone has acid reflux in this situation.

I don't know. Not the throat. I mean, if you tummy. If you went right into the tummy. Oh, I see what you're saying. Is your belly button open to the inside of your stomach weight Is that what you're operating under right now? I don't know how so to be honest I don't know how long the cord or whatever the tube is on the inside the tube the tube explain But whatever explain expand alright, so then alright, so listen. This has been fucking 30 years

I've had to think about this. I'm not a parent okay okay so whenever you're born you have an umbilical cord right and they cut the umbilical cord yeah the umbilical cord is how you are fed as a baby right nutrients pass through and yeah sure and what part of you does that not go into your stomach as it like where does the umbilical cord on the inside lead part of me wants to laugh in your face but part of me also does have to admit i don't know for sure that the umbilical cord doesn't somehow interface with the digestive tract but i would bet a fair amount of money it don't but it's gotta it's gotta get into your system at the point where like the nutrients are distributed through your body and that typically is the digestive system so what does it do does

it just go straight into your stream does it you know that's actually a good question i gotta look it up i don't think it goes to the intestines i don't actually know that all right listeners here we go we're we are 30 plus years old and today we're learning what the umbilical cord does okay how does a baby in the womb eat the umbilical cord contains wharton's jelly i don't like that name whatever you just said the umbilical cord contains wharton's jelly, a gelatinous substance made largely from mucopolysaccharides that protect the blood vessels inside. Okay. Okay.

Unusual. Okay. Umbilical cord is approximately 35 milliliters per minute. Is it just blood? Is it? Connection to the fetal circulatory system. Enters via the abdomen, at which point after separation will become the umbilicus or navel.

Continues towards the transverse fissure of the liver where it splits into two. One of these branches joins the hepatic portal vein, which carries blood into the liver. The second branch known as the ductus venosus bypasses the liver and flows into the inferior vein of kava, which carries blood towards the heart. So it's just a blood supply because that's right. The placenta is an external organ of the baby. Yeah, right. That makes sense. That's right. So it's already just ready to go and just be nutrients at that point.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. See, I always thought it was like food that had to be digested, but it makes sense that you wouldn't make a baby digest a fucking chunk of steak. So yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, man, that's ignorance on us. Food doesn't go through the umbilical cord.

Wow. Why did we even think that? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I did not for a moment think food went through the umbilical cord. Just to be clear. I thought that. Yeah, us either. I did not think that you swallowed a piece of food and your body was like, tummy, umbilical cord.

Tummy, umbilical cord. I thought there was a little dude inside the woman's stomach that takes the the steak it's like you get a third you get two thirds i was just unclear if the nutrients required for the baby to grow would would be absorbable through the blood or if there was some other way that that was absorbed in the body just to be clear that's my uncertainty but you can see how like because i knew i knew that the placenta had a blood barrier separation between the mom's blood and the baby's blood. And it was nutrient through diffusion, which is similar to how the intestines work. I knew all that. But then for some reason, when I forget if it was Wade or you said nutrients, I'm like, oh, yeah, nutrients are flowing.

And I forgot, like, that's not not blood. You know, blood has all the nutrients in it. Right. And it's just like, oh, oh, right. It's like, oh, oh, right. So what you're saying is the placenta is like a little creature and he eats all the food and then feeds the baby through his special cord. I mean, pretty much. Yeah.

Actually, that's a weird way to think about it. Is the placenta like just an external organ of the baby that just dies when its purpose is over? Or is it another creature that will sacrifice itself so that all of us may live it's darker than i thought that would be yeah random thing here whenever babies are born people eat placentas after the fact sometimes right like that's a thing okay it's not a i've heard of that thing like it's it a regular thing, but I have heard of this. I think Tom Cruise did this, didn't he? That wouldn't surprise me, I guess.

Apparently, the most common placenta preparation is creating a capsule. This is made by steaming and then dehydrating the placenta or processing the raw placenta and then processing that into a capsule form that you take. I don't like that sentence does that make you a cannibal if you eat a placenta it is kind of cannibalistic yeah wait no is that cannibalism i mean that'd be technically that'd be like auto cannibalism or cannibalism if it's the father partaking as well yeah okay the next sentence after what i read initially about the capsule is way worse people have also been known to eat the placenta raw, cooked, or in smoothies.

Which, even an A5 Wagyu steak made into a smoothie makes me want to hork up everything I've eaten in the last week. I cannot. Okay, you know, it's like, it's so strange because okay yeah sure you can look at the idea of it like it must be an incredibly nutritious meal but it cannot be so nutritious that it's life-changing in any way shape or form right it cannot be there's no way it was life-changing for that baby well okay all right sure why can't it be for me yeah but you don't that baby doesn't look like the picture of health when it pops out does it not screaming it's blue it's covered in schmoosh that baby don't look like it's about ready to go compete you know so i don't

know what the mother or the father thinks they're going to get out of a placenta i think they're going to get some kind of human growth hormone burst of it like just got all the stem cells i don't know but what i'm finding is that there are a lot of claims about how it can help with postpartum depression or avoid the post-pregnancy issues or lots of stuff and every one of these is followed quickly by the sentence and these claims have not been fully tested in a meaningful scientific way but everybody loves it every everybody everybody loves placenta you never had placenta oh come on what i'm learning is we need a better health class or i need to be smarter with anatomy no dude we definitely need better health and sex education in general in this country in kind of similar vein um to wade uh so this must have been

like junior year right and i had a high school- High school or college, I'm assuming. High school, high school, high school. And I forget the name of the kid. Wade, you would know him, but I don't remember his name. But we were talking in the locker room after gym class. And, you know, he would just be the type of guy that says crass things to say crass things.

Like we were talking about popping the cherry, right? And I'd heard the expression because I'd played Grand Theft Auto. And you remember there's like the ice cream van that's like cherry poppers and like the whole concept of that i understood that it had something to do with having sex for the first time like i got to that point but this guy let's call him vaughn vaughn vaughn vaughn let's call him vaughn right so vaughn here was talking about and trying to explain it to me because i said that i didn't know what it meant exactly actually i think it came up like we was talking about and trying to explain it to me because I said that I didn't know what it meant exactly

Actually, I think it came up like we were talking about he says like you know what that is, right? I was like, yeah, maybe and he's like, okay What it is is in the vagina way up in there like way way up in there if you stick your arm up Okay, I like this keep going keep going this sounds. You rummage around for a little bit. Eventually, you're going to find like a small ball. And you squeeze it. It'll pop like a cherry. The girls really love it.

Yeah, the girls love it. The girls love it. So he said with full confidence, and I don't think he was messing with me. I don't think he was. And he's like, and that's what Papa Cher, that's what you gotta do the first time you have sex. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I, being just a junior in high school, was like,

I took that to heart. I was like, okay, alright. Oh, wow. I gotta be ready for that. She takes off her clothes clothes you get out your surgical glove yeah yeah i i legitimately thought that was how it went for like at least another year at least another year i carried that knowledge with me as if that was gospel truth right and i don't remember where i came across the information that said otherwise and I learned about the hymen But as soon as I did I was like Vaughn is a fucking idiot

I don't know which person this is obviously right now I haven't specified but was this someone that was dating at the time does that no okay? I hope not Is that girl okay? I hope not. God, I hope not. Says to his girlfriend, I'll find it next time, baby. Let me rummage around a little more. I love to think Vaughn takes his girlfriend back to his room. They sneak up there.

They're, like, fooling around. Yeah. Starts to get serious, and he's like, oh, it's going to happen. He's real excited. They start taking off different clothes and stuff, and he's like, yes, yes, I'm going to pop a cherry finally. And then like, it's about time. It's about to be time to like start doing sex. That's funny.

Say that. That's fun. Start having sex. And he just gets out like a huge thing of lube. Starts lubing up his whole arm. And the girl is just like, um, what you doing? And he's like, I'm going to find it. Lay back.

He pulls on one of those gloves that you use for sticking your hand up a cow's ass, like all the way to the elbow. For inseminating a farm animal. Yeah, yeah. Snap. All right, I got it. Got like a 55-gallon of lube that he dips his arm in. Don't worry, baby.

I'm going to pop your cherry. It's going'll be awesome yeah so um i am so sorry i started us down this line of thinking you know too he believed that sincerely because like his older brother who was away at college one time von was like what's it like to have sex with a girl and his brother was like oh you want to you know just like to pop a cherry i'll tell you what it's like yeah and mom was like sweet i'm gonna do that soon yeah what do you think this is just information passed down from his father like no one in his family has ever known what how do they keep having kids you're're a young man and your parents are like, it's time for the birds and the bees.

One of your parents sits down with you and is like, what you're going to want to do? Reach really deep in there. Way up in the back. I've never found it myself, but I know there's a cherry in there somewhere. It's not actually a cherry. I checked. You get this whole talk from your parents, your dad or whoever, and it's like actually a cherry. I checked. Like, you know, it's like you get this whole talk from your parents,

your dad or whoever, and it's like, all right, I'm going to make you proud. I'm going to be the best at sexing. Well, I had a couple other ones in my mind of things that I learned too late, but now I can't think of anything

uh yeah i kind of got us uh listen that's my bad i will take however many points you want to take away for my lack of knowledge of the p-hole and the umbilical cord oh i'm keeping track of the points don't yeah that's good it's all it's all in the in the back all right i have one and i don't even know if this is true but it blew my mind this is one a little one you guys are familiar with the uh game of tag yes where you tap somebody and they're it yes i've heard of it sure do you know that that is not a word that tag is an acronym what wait what what i learned this not that long ago and i i've i've googled it and it's not entirely clear to me if this is like true or if it's only true in certain types of tag stands for touch and go no no that's what i've been led to believe no yes well there's like a dog tag right so like that well that that is a tag

right tag is definitely a word but it's not the the actual game you put a tag on something but if you're playing tag apparently at least to some people that is just an acronym for touch and go oh no no no no no no no no no no, no, I'm looking on Snopes.com. Okay, the name of children's game tag originated as acronym. False. There's no way. There's no way. That's false?

That's false. Confirm false? It's false. Oh, man. Okay, because, okay, tag is probably one of the oldest, mostly because it's children's games. If Arian is even mentioned in ancient Greek poetry written 500 years before the birth of Christ.

Touch and go. This seems like something. Yeah, there's like information out there that people just post like that to make people even more confused about things. But I feel like this this has to be this has to be false. It cannot be. Oh, just like the same thing where people try to make a claim that the word news stands for notable events weather and sports what but he doesn't that's not true but i would totally believe that i believe it now yeah exactly or that fuck is an acronym for fornication under consent of the king my king may i fornicate today

wait oh my god what amy was just telling me something about this similar where there's like this false information that people to claim Oh god, it was just like this meme of it was two pictures from Pirates of the Caribbean where Jack Sparrow's like and this will be the day that you will always remember that you almost caught The Pirates of the Caribbean is what it said in the captions and there's someone on Twitter replied to that and was like That's that's not what it says, but this guy just constantly like hammered into this dude like no that's what it is and the other guy's like no i love this movie i've seen it so many times no no that's what he says and it's like he creates other screenshots of just that phrase of being like man that's the greatest pirate of

the caribbean i've ever seen it's hard man you gotta be wary yeah so we've all seen that sinbad movie shazam right you guys seen that i have yes i i oddly enough this is so weird synchronicity we were just talking about shazam last night so right does that exist or does it not exist you mean like the the shaquille o'neal kazam oh kazam are you talking about kazam yes have you seen this i've heard i know what you're talking about there's apparently this huge thing on it was is like on the internet on reddit i think there is a movie called kazam yes shaquille o'neal yes there is not a movie called shazam starring sinbad oh but like the internet believes yeah that there is what what yeah what are those called there's like a name for those things um i thought we talked about the

mandela yeah the mandela there's a bunch of yeah yeah that's like a big one that one doesn't hit me like it does other people but i've heard people have that one a lot yeah i swear half the things you see online like you like the tag thing right i saw that and my brain was like that's entirely believable i was skeptical but i still like you know i brought that to you guys wait and i believed it enough but what the fuck is this what is this picture i just posted photoshop probably yeah so as part of the meme of shazam, Sinbad has steered into this. Sinbad has tweeted. There's a tweet from September 7th, 2016 from Sinbad.

And he tweeted, have you noticed no one my age has seen the so-called Sinbad genie movie? Only you people who were kids in the 90s, which is unclear. He's implying that it doesn't exist, but he's not saying it. Also, he's done. There's a YouTube video or something that he did with College Humor. What? Where it's like a weird, crappy quality, like lost footage of Sinbad in a genie movie. What?

Where is this? Where is this link? It's College Humor on YouTube. College Humor, we found Sinbad's Shazam genie movie. Okay. It's not real real but the internet is trying to make it real oh what the frick all right anyway it's stories out what is this then why do i keep is this just a shit that people make this is exactly what i was talking about

on twitter that like people just make shit i'm finding there's like a vhs tape wait there's a different vhs tape oh my god oh my god yeah so even if you thought you learned something that you didn't know for your entire life it's probably not true i don't know uh that's fascinating that's fascinating yeah the mandela's effect is probably just like a long running thing of exactly what you're talking about like learning things way way too late the berenstein bears was the berenstein bears that was one yeah exactly which one is it i think it's a i n but everyone thought it was e i n is that the difference i think so it might be the pronunciation but i've always seen the spelling oh yeah, yeah. I always thought it was the Berenstain Bears and it's the Berenstain Bears. Yeah, Berenstain Bears.

Michael Cera was in that? I'm sorry, what? Michael Cera was the cast of the Berenstain Bears. He was the brother there. There's a movie of that? No, I mean, it was a show. They had a show, too. Oh, that's weird.

Yeah, no. I had the books all the time as a kid. I only read the books. I read all of those. Yeah, yeah. Oh, weird. I fucking love those bears. no i had the books all the time as a kid i i only read the books i read all of those yeah yeah oh weird i can love those bears they're um people always thought the monopoly man had a monocle that's one of the wait no hold the phone here we go no monopoly man does not have a monocle no no mr peanut the monopoly man does not. What? Something about Mr. Peanut.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. But there are pictures of him with and, oh, not having one. Oh. What? But he should have a monocle. No, he doesn't have one. How's he going to not have a monocle? Wow, that's weird.

You'd think with all the Monopoly we played, we'd know that. Anyway, I don't know what's real. Apparently elk rutting season in colorado is now in full swing that is the next article in this people don't remember the flint stones the flint stones they don't remember the t in flint they think it's flint stones they're flint stones well they're just idiots what that's stupid that's dumb and they're dumb they're called the flint stones okay no way you're just joking well then why is the theme song meet the flintstone no it's meet the flintstones but it's not yes it is singers enunciate flintstones i'm gonna go pull

it up right now no they do not i don't know what to tell you man it's right here play it i i don't believe it i am am playing it. They say Flintstones. Yabba-dabba-doo. If you're singing something, you don't go Flintstones. They say Flintstones. There's no first T. You go Flintstones. They do not. I'm enunciating right now.

What am I saying? What am I saying? Flintstones. You're saying Flintstones. No, I'm saying Flintstones. That's just bad. Just badly done. Well, how do you say it?

How would you say Flintstones? Flintstones. Flintstones. You just said what I said. Flintstones. That's just bad. Just badly done. Well, how do you say it? How would you say Flintstones? Flintstones. You just said what I said. Flintstones. You have to pop the T. Flintstones. It's a forward T. Flintstones.

Flintstones. Uh-huh, and that's what they're doing. They're not. This is not an argument. I'm just telling you what reality is, Mark. Calm down. I'm telling you what reality is. You need to calm down because they absolutely say Flintstones.

Here's another one. The Fruit of the loom Logo people think it's a cornucopia with fruit spilling out. Whereas is always apparently was just a pile of fruit No, don't know I that one's a pile of fruit. I know that no it was a cornucopia So we just swamped back and forth on a notebook. There's a cornucopia. What do you mean there's not a cornucopia? It's a pile of fruit. Did you wear fruit on the loom when you were a kid? Because I did.

The only reason I know what a cornucopia is is because I had fruit of the loom underwear with a cornucopia on it. And I asked my dad what it was. Gentle listeners, I am sorry for what i've caused on this day no he how else would i know what a cornucopia was how else would anybody uh the hunger games what about the hunger games don't don't lie to me there's a cornucopia in the field of the what what do you mean they that's so much later i learned about a cornucopia when I was a kid. Also, not being a moron.

Okay, all right. You don't know that it's not Flintstones, so you can't talk. Listen, I didn't watch Hanna-Barbera cartoons. I found them childish, even at a young age. Oh, so it's too good for Hanna-Barbera. This one got me. Febreze only has two E's in it, technically, but only one after the R. So Febreze, it's not E-E-Z-E. It's only one E. I always thought it was but only one after the r so febreze it's not eeze

it's only one e i always thought it was two what the hell are you talking about sketchers doesn't have a t in it catchers i know different mandela effect things no i know but febreze only has one e it's f e b r e z e i thought it was b r e e z e but it's only the one e at the after the r okay well that's not as earthsharing because who cares about febreze yeah i mean i haven't even had febreze and you know i don't even drink that shit anymore uh the tinaman square do you guys remember the famous image of the tinaman square the guy standing in front of the tank yeah yeah everyone talks about how he got run over by the tank and died but actually he was removed from it but everyone remembers him being killed who talks about it i know that that's not what happened that's just one of the famous mandela effect

ones i don't that's one of the ones listed here all right these are these are really going downhill yeah that's gone i don't know the cornucopia and the flintstones got you guys well okay the flintstones one was dumb but the cornucopia one is perfectly valid no i'm pretty sure the flintstone one is just poorly recorded theme music from a show i never okay all right and not knowing what a cornucopia is is really i know what a cornucopia is is really stupid. I know what a cornucopia is. I'm aware of it. I learned it from early age. Cheez-It or Cheez-Its with a Z? Cheez-Its.

Well, it's Cheez-It, but it's plural, right? So you would always say Cheez-Its, but I imagine it's with an S. It's with a Z. Everyone thinks it has the Z. The Z does not exist. No! I know that. I am the Cheez-Its guy. Whoa, whoa.

I know that. No, there's a Z in it. What are you talking about? That's what it says here. No, at the end, at the end, he's saying the brand name is Cheez-It. Oh. You get a Cheez-It. Oh, yeah.

Well, yeah. The brand name is not Cheez-It. This is called plural of Cheez-Its. With a Z. I thought you were saying it was like C-H-E-E-S. No, no. Just the brand. Just the brand.

I always call them Cheez-Its, but that's because they're plural. Yeah plural yeah yeah you don't need a box of cheez-it that's fucked up yeah a singular cheez-it is a cheez-it but the whole box is a box of cheez-its cheez-its see how you're enunciating there really clearly yeah yeah just because my ears work properly i'm sorry those professional voiceover artists of the early era weren't good enough for you or the technology wasn't quality enough to get the tuh in there. I've listened to plenty of old music. I'm a huge, what's that movie called?

White Christmas? Huge fan. They could have gotten a better take than they did. Express that it's Flintstones, not Flynn flint stones 90 of our audience probably does not get this reference at all but you guys know the show i love lucy i know yes i know of it you guys never really okay well i remember watching that as a kid and uh one of the famous lines ricky ricardo is everyone always quotes is lucy you have some explaining to do uh-huh he never said that he said explain that if you can and lucy splain there was never you have some explain it there's no that's the line everyone quotes from that wow really yeah

i've never watched that show but i've heard that line so much that that's the main thing i would say i know about that show just like uh darth vader doesn't say luke i am your father he says no i am your father but everyone's like luke i am your like that's always misquoted okay that's fine i'd be like that's just for context monopoly man in the monocle got me that one got me i never really thought about that but how does he not have a monocle like it seems like he should doesn't it he's the guy who monocles exist for isn't an ace ventura when nature calls that guy has a monocle right maybe that's where it comes from and he's all you must be the monopoly man yeah, collect $200. That guy has a monocle because he's grasping his monocle. He does.

Yeah. Oh, wow. He does say that. Maybe that's where we get it from. Yeah. Fucking Jim Carrey. I love Ace Ventura return Call of the Wild more than I do the original one. I love it just for the hippo birth scene.

I know, right? Wait, yeah. Did you say Return of the Wild? What is it? Call of the Wild? Call of the Wild call the wild when nature calls everyone remembers the third movie in the franchise call of the wild with harrison ford and his big dog when they come in and interact with jim carrey god i would love another ace ventura movie with older jim carrey oh man old ace ventura would be fantastic but dude he's kooky now oh he's well are you

saying he wasn't kooky then no but like he's a different kind of kooky now uh he was always very like goofy and making faces and stuff but now now he's like i don't know watch jim and andy it's a good it's a good thing yeah i feel like he has every right to be kooky that man died as he lived but he's not dead yet i remember an interview with him where he did um he did batman forever which was a kooky batman movie yeah it was uh him and tommy lee jones were like the riddler and two-face and apparently tommy lee jones really hated him yeah i can see that you want to get a an art set of the monopoly guy from ace ventura when nature calls i just put it in the discord oh my god there's a whole paneled art set that you can hang behind your, over

your bed, I assume. Only place to have it, really. Honestly. But I wonder if that image, that guy with the monocle is where everyone gets the Monopoly confusion from. Maybe. Could be. Or maybe it's because he should be wearing a monocle. Probably should be. Yeah, it's like he should be wearing a monocle, the Monopoly guy. It's in his name, Monopola

Monocle. Mononical guy. That's in his name Monopola Monopola Monocle Mononical guy That's his name Monopola Mononical Their family name Monopoly Mononical Monopola Mononical Monopola Mononical guy. Yeah guy Monoponononical Monponononical guy That's him should be where okay that's enough of that um anyway last one this one doesn't really affect me all that much but last one sex and the city sex in the city i don't fucking know a single

thing about that show isn't it sex in the city mark which one do you think it's sex in the city that's what everyone thinks it's and well but i never really watched it so that one really wasn't that close to me but so i wasn't sure sure I think everyone just says and like shorthand But like that one didn't really super affect me, but it was like oh, I would have thought in I think the people who made That show wrong I'm really happy that the monocle thing got you guys and the Flintstones debate was fun for me. I enjoyed that Oh, okay. No cornucopia for the loom. I thought there was two. I didn't think that any you know what? You know what it is, you know what part of that is?

Mark's an idiot. Okay. You know what others say? Like, Bob can't hear. Yeah, right. Okay. As the judge, I decide that conversation is over about that topic. Okay.

And let me tabulate the points real quick. Keeping it fair, despite mark's comments about my uh ability to hear things and uh you know honestly i was gonna make it a joke that uh mark loses just because i'm mad at him but all of those mandela things you brought up with that's points that's good points that's fair how many do i lose though for my lack of vagina understanding uh you know what i think that is a failure on the part of our educational system i don't i don't hang that i don't hang that only on you i think you could have probably found that information you know on your own if you were really motivated i did find it on my own just at an unfortunate time somebody did a very poor job of teaching you about anatomy

and explaining to you what those diagrams mean and why what you thought was not it's not your fault buddy basically what i'm saying and also thank you as a consolation wade wins with more points than mark oh hell yeah back baby all right okay that was fun that did not go the direction i thought it would as pretty much always happens on this podcast remember my whole thing about finish and how innocent and silly that was and then yeah and then you guys talked about all the stuff you don't know about sex i mean didn't know you know now we know it all now i'm sure you figured it out

i'm sure you found that cherry mark i i am searching for it to this day found that cherry mark i i am searching for it to this day okay well thank you so much listeners for listening to this episode of distractible make sure that you're subscribed to this podcast on apple podcast or spotify or wherever you listen and then it'll tell you when new episodes come out but you should know when new episodes come out because it's every monday monday is the day that you should feel good because we're here tickling your ear balls with delightful discussions about all that terrible stuff we talked about today that's going to be the end of the episode thanks so much mark and wade for joining me on this one you can find mark at markiplier on youtube and places wade at lord minion 777 or minion 777 on twitch you can find me mainly on this podcast i don't do anything else i just

wait for these recording sessions you guys have any last words victory speech win anything uh i don't know if i feel like i deserve to win i'm glad to win but uh this was one of the more embarrassing revelations that i've kept close to the vest for many years. I'm glad it's out there now and everyone knows. And hopefully someone else out there that thought there was a separate external pee hole has learned something today. Go pop those cherries, listeners.

And with that, we out of here. Podcast out.