Distractible - I Wasn't Ready

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

College, customer service calls, pyramid schemes: today the guys discuss the things they weren't ready for when heading into adulthood. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This week, Easy Rider Bob tells us how to outwit the corporate giants on coal trees. Movie-making Mark explains why later seasons of Heroes sucked and relates his encounters with pyramid schemers. 60% farmer Wade starts vexed with call centers, but gets the giggles later.

From Elon Musk to churches for lawyers. Yes. It's time for I Wasn't Ready. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey, everyone. welcome to the podcast. Uh, distractible podcast. Uh, that was an intentional transition from nothing. I hope you're all doing well.

If you've never been here before, welcome to your first time. If you're back, why are you here still? But, you are, so I guess we'll move on. Got him. What kind of pessimistic opening is this? Is this a... Oh, God. What kind of pessimistic opening is this? What's happening to you? I don't know, man.

Are you still recovering from your laugh? That was a week ago, man. I know, but you're still making weird noises. I don't even remember it. Oh. Who are you, me? I never remember anything. Oh boy.

Do we make any secret handshake deals I need to be made aware of before this episode kicks off? No, I don't think so. Okay, good. I don't remember shit. I watched you drink some soda. I drank, or whatever it was, I drank some water and marked down a bowl of chili. Can of water. Oh, okay.

I got bucket, bucket? Bottle of water myself. I got a bucket of water i find it easiest to get access to the bucket what with the open top dude i don't know if you've seen but like starbucks has like a trenta size thing now it's basically a bucket of coffee it's so much to drink what is trenta what does that mean it's bigger than venti i don't know but it's big it's really big but what does that word mean it's 31 ounces but what is trenta man oh i just saw i saw you could get it what does trenta mean it means 30 oh but it's a 31 ounce cup ah so maybe it's trent ish i know how things work. I don't know why I'm laughing so much at that, but good joke, I guess.

You got me. And this was an intrish. It was kind of an intro. If you've never been here, this is a show where we bullshit like we just did. Somebody hosts, they make up shit, give away points, declare a winner, next person hosts, and things happen. We talk about whatever we want to because that's just who we are. And I think I'm legally obligated for

small talk. So how are you guys? I'm saying this because I care, not because of the obligation. You know, Bob, we could leave. The door is right there. The door is right there. Your door is in shot. You don't even have to pretend to leave like I

could. I wouldn't pretend i would leave i would actually i can leave i can leave this room whenever i want that's what they tell you uh kudos to you host you know i wasn't prepared for this bob but two points oh thank you two points to bob what if i do it? Kudos to Waitos. I'll give you one point because it's just, it's not, it's sad. The attempt to recreate. Mark has forgotten how to laugh, everybody.

If you didn't watch last episode, then you have no idea why this is happening and that's okay. Go watch it. If you didn't watch it episode then you have no idea why this is happening and that's okay go watch it if you didn't watch it till the end you definitely don't know what's happening i'm good since you sincerely asked and are generally interested i'm good i'm pretty good it's uh the weather's getting nice here in northern california which is nice that's uh that's a fun time uh yeah it's oh that's it i got nothing else going on you guys don't want to hear about the baby anymore. Baby takes a lot of time. It's all baby stuff still.

I have been doing a lot of research and making a few purchases in relation to camera equipment, and most of it has come in. Look at this thing! Wow. That's a DJI Ronin. Oh, it is a Ronin. It is. It's a Ronin.

I too can read R-O-N-I Ronin. Oh, it is a Ronin. It is. It's a Ronin. I too can read R-O-N-I-N. Hey, I knew that before it was on screen, okay, so. Who didn't do Ronin? No. Awful. Minus two points to you. Alright, cool. No, it's this is one of many things.

I got this. I got the new Komodo X, which I'm very excited to use. I got some sweet lenses that everyone else on the Internet said was garbage and overpriced. But I went, I want those. And I bought them. You silly fool. Shouldn't you have the equipment before you film the movie? Not after anyone tell you now you're just supposed to edit.

You don't need to film it now. Buying lenses for the post process silly fool got him two points to me oh and sometimes it makes me laugh sometimes i'm like a build a bear that got messed up in the build process but you kept it anyway you got it for a discount yeah yeah that's what makes you so adorable uh but with with with this stuff i've been getting i've just been very excited because um one things that i want to do after i'm done with this one of course i don't know is obviously make more um but i want to go back to how we did like not not we you and i but like with who killed mark blier and like day with mark bl, we're just like going out and making something. But now we can make it to such a higher level because I know more.

And like, you know, we all know more and I've had experience with these crews. And it's not like I don't ever want to work on a big project with a big crew again. But at the same time, part of the reason why I love YouTube is just being able to do individual creation. So being able to do that to a level that could be out in theaters or you could watch on any of the streaming platforms and stuff like that is like, that's what I want to do. I'm going to give you a point. I just remember being so brave. When I think about my dream of just making really, really high quality running gun content and just really, it just makes me, you know, I feel i feel the same way man i feel you're creative

trying to escape from your body right now you just want to go create so badly absolutely contained a little longer pal that's actually how mark is on the set the the assistant the ad comes over is like mark we're um setting this up we were well, where do you want, what kind of light do you want? And Mark is just like, hang on, hang on, hang on. Ah! Ah! Alright, I've got it. Hold on a moment. Alright. How'd you like that take, Mark? Oh, it was

awful, awful. Oh, God, it was okay. Oh, God, it was okay. Can I make a bold, and what a time to make a statement like this bold statement about unions? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It means I would love to host the union episode.

Mark does not represent the opinions of this podcast. He speaks only for himself. You mind if I make some sweeping proclamations? All right. Only if you generalize on top of them. No, no, no. Okay. So right now, as everyone knows, a writer's strike is going on.

Probably. Oh, this is going to be bold. I can't wait for where this goes. I mean, it doesn't look like it's going to end, but it could end at any point if the, you know, production companies just are fair. But go on. Apparently it's cost more than they would have asked for by now if they would have just given them what they want.

And also it's fair. Like, I'm a big proponent of unions. Unions are great. Like, especially when you're negotiating for the betterment of the people that are a part of the union and doing that at a constant pace. And regularly, it can work in the favor because they're working towards the future. Now, all that aside, this is not about the writers' union at all. I didn't know that when you, because we did for Iron Lung a union shoot and I wanted to do that because I wanted it to be, you know, buy the books, pay people well, people being taken care of.

But there is a legacy role in film production that requires you to have someone specifically there to do playback. Do you guys know what playback is? Literally, when you just play what playback is? Literally, when you just play what you just recorded, you do a shoot and then you go over to the monitors and you're like, let's watch that back. And you watch what you just did, right? Exactly. Everyone out there, if you ever record a video on your phone, you watch it. That's called playback in the industry. If you are on a set that's a union set, you cannot request playback if you do not have a playback person hired and there and this is a i believe a legacy thing from when film was predominantly literal film because they because they need to

maintain like protect the film so it doesn't get damaged or degradated or whatever from exactly 100 and that's how it went and so this was a new thing to me and also uh it was it was just like i got nothing against like them enforcing union rules i'm not trying to break union rules or anything like that i'm not shitting on the union it was new and it made no sense to me because it was pushing its playback right uh so we heard this rule on one day and it was friday or something uh and then over the weekend uh i think uh evan went to home depot or or uh john evan or john went to best buy and they got two elgato external recorders because on set we have big monitors that have sci cables routed to them from the camera so we can all see what's going on.

You can watch it live as it's happening. It was just like playing it again was the problem. So we got two external recorders and then I opened OBS on my laptop and Amy was able to just hit record with a double wide screen, both camera views there and be able to play back things. And this blew the camera department's minds and they kept being like how are you doing this everyone was like how are you doing this how are you capturing both camera feeds on one like it was it was just making everyone and and they were thinking like because in in the camera world, these things cost thousands of dollars. A camera itself costs tens of thousands of dollars if it's a movie camera.

Lenses can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. It's insane. It's insane. And here we are with basically $300 worth of external recorders going into my laptop and a free piece of software. And it is just blowing the minds of these people that have worked in the industry forever. And it got to the point where once, once the, the people got to know me, they realized like, Oh, maybe it was kind of silly to, to enforce this rule because I treat the crew so well. And I want them to be treated well that all the camera department and every

department came over to Amy, who was running, like was our playback person was like, Hey, can I see that again? Even the camera would come over and be like, can you see that again? Hey, can you pull up that shot? It's just like, yeah, exactly. Cause, uh, it's just, it's just interesting. Um, some of these union rules that are old and it's just like, I'm not, I've got nothing against it, but, um, it is just, it is just funny when the solution actually is much, much easier. And I wonder how many more things are just like much easier to solve than they would imagine. Yeah, no, that does happen, right? It's not, I'm sure it's not exclusive

to that industry. There's a lot of, in tech stuff, there's a lot of legacy things where it's like, we've always done it this way. You need this, this, and this. You need these items. And they all put,

but there are like modern versions of it where it's like what you did, where it's like, if you have one tool and a laptop, you could accomplish the exact same thing, but the industry standard is whatever. And I totally get why that person needs to exist in a world where it's recorded on film, you take a shot and at best you have maybe a couple reels of film. If the film gets, I don't even know how delicate it is, but touched, scratched,

exposed to too much light, like I don't know the details of film, but it's incredibly delicate and it's gone forever. There's no digital backup. There's no other film strip. Like, it's gone, gone. So as a legacy thing, like, yeah, I get that why you would want to have someone protecting your physical creation. But that is funny that they didn't know that Elgato's exist. And as streamers, we will buy that shit and plug it

in and be like yeah capture this capture that great sweet awesome god we don't even realize how good we have it because back in the day like we used to use uh what was the software i mean fraps log me in hamachi yeah like gmod we literally had to have hamachi like every time back in the day doing this what we're doing right now which we're doing this on Riverside and that's impossible. It would be you would need a studio to be able to do this a dozen or so years ago. This this tech didn't exist, even though it could have been done. The programming could have been done. The Internet bandwidth could have been done.

It just wasn't put together because there wasn't a need for this. And it's just like the tech. Well, I wade you hosted a show uh back on polaris or maker or whatever it was are you a robot i think it was called are you a robot and it was this format where wade was a host and there were four three or four people who would like do like this where we're all in separate places videoing in the way they did that was with Skype and a really janky like window capture. They had a studio like they actually had a studio, but none of us were physically there. But they used the production process to put us together. That was there was a whole team of people janking that together. And it was not as good as this in

terms of like quality and latency. It was kind of awful. If I'm honest, it did not work very well. Fun fact. Back then, I didn't knowon musk was and we kept getting questions about him and i referred to him as ellen musk for like two years nobody ever corrected me god i'm gonna do an episode in the future that's just like way do you know what this is and i'm just gonna like get a lot of modern answer will probably be no you could mispronounce something i would just go along with it because i'd be like yeah of course yeah i know who ellen musk is the owner of tisla yeah tisla tells uh yeah but anyway unions right you know that was a lot better than i thought this was going to go when you were like i got something to talk about with unions i was like oh boy this is happening no but if if you guys want to talk about with unions. I was like, oh boy, this is happening. No, but if you guys want to talk more about unions,

I don't know. This isn't union related. I'm going to change the topic. Well, it is, but it reminded me because like the annoyance was just like how things have been done. That being a requirement, which made no sense with, like you said, being able to get a laptop and just do it anyway.

I hadn't, we're in the process of moving. moving and whenever you move it turns out you've got a call and have like your electric turned on and your water turned on all that stuff set up knowledge sure so i spent a day it took about four hours to make the phone calls to get all of those things ready to transfer to set up whatever and it was annoying but i had to make like eight calls it was like okay whatever a, whatever. A couple of them took like 20, 30 minutes, but whatever. Got it done. I found out one of the appointments I set up was on a day where we record this. I set it up on a Tuesday. I was like, ah, I'm going to move that so we can keep Tuesday open for recording the podcast. Tuesday's just my busiest day. I want to not add more stress to it. I'm just going to call and move the appointment. Should be a quick, easy phone call. Let me call and do that.

I call. Someone answers. Well, no, you have to go through like the eight robotic steps of for this, press one for this, press two for this, press three for all other press four. It's like one or another. I don't even like one. Maybe I don't know. My question doesn't really apply to any of these things. You go through all those options and finally you get somebody and it's like, yeah, I'm

I had an appointment set up for this date at this time. And I really just want to move it to like the next day or, you know, whenever you guys can reschedule it. Oh, sure. Let me take a look. Well, I can't do that from my post. Let me transfer you to someone who can't. Great. That's fine. Hi, what's your name? What's the address? What's this, this, this, you know, I just went through it, but you know, it's okay. It's a new person. Let me give them everything. Oh, uh, I can't actually help you with that. Let me transfer you to someone that can't. Uh, but I just got transferred to you from yeah, but they thought I was this whereas what you really need is this. Okay. I didn't know that nobody in customer service was qualified to

change the date of an appointment. That's kind of strange to me. But fine. Let's go to the next one. And in my head, I'm saying this. I got transferred seven times to change the date of an appointment. I was sent finally to the right person. No one was in the office. So it went to voicemail. The voice message mailbox is full. Can that happen with a company? So I couldn't even leave a voicemail.

So I just had to call back and go through the process a second time. It took me an hour and a half to change the day and time of an appointment. Well, if you had just done it right the first time, pay a little attention to detail. How can seven different people not be qualified to change the date of an appointment?

What do they do if they can't do that? That seems like such a simple thing. It was like, nah, you'll have to talk to the manager's manager's boss if you want to change the date. You want to change the date? My hands are tied. I can set up an appointment. I can sell you stuff, but change the date? That's madness.

What are you even asking me? I just needed to bitch about that because I had to listen to those. Press one. Here's your hold music. And they were like, all right, let me put your address in here. I'm just going to put you on hold real quick

to talk to. No! And twice that put me on hold real quick turned into disconnect or transfer to somebody like then it starts ringing again and it's like oh god it's ringing again where am i going who will i talk to and i don't know i was in the hedge maze of change the date and it was the worst and i don't know why it's set up like this it's so bad it makes me never want to use these companies i want to find

somebody who god i made another call right after this. And it was like a small, like a family owned business and a person answered. And I was like, Hey, I was trying to reach this person for this. Oh yeah. You're trying to reach. So let me patch them through. Hey, come here and get to the phone. Okay. Hey, what's up?

And I was like, God, I love you guys. Please never change. Oh, this, that reminds me. I mean, that's shit that you went through, but that reminds me of a great customer service experience that I had. I will never buy computers from another person, manufacturer ever again. I want to give a big shout out to Steiger Dynamics. They are by far the best computer company I have ever worked with. And you probably have never heard of them.

I'd never heard of them. They made my most recent computer. And what sold me on it is i was on their website and i was looking through the customization because they made home theater computers which was a niche thing and then they also made like enterprise class workstations with like custom liquid cooling solutions at reasonable prices these are not reasonable prices for everybody but for the parts you're getting it was reasonable and i go on their website and I'm the 4090 had just come out. And I'm like, I asked him like, Hey, do you, uh, offer like custom water cooling for a 4090? And he goes like, Oh, actually we just got those in a day ago. Let me go look. And he, he, he,

in the email, he's in it. This is just an email. He, he goes and looks and comes back. He's like, yeah, yeah. We just got those updated. Uh, I'll get the website updated right now so you can see that option. And then five minutes later, he goes like, OK, refresh the page. And I refresh the customization page and there's a new option for a 4090. And I'm like, what? I've never experienced this before. Someone actually is working there, like right then and there. And like, I couldn't fathom it um and

then i was like well actually i'm looking to get two and i know that's kind of crazy and they're like ah screw it refresh the page again and i'm refreshing with like two options i'm like my god is anyone else here and i was like um and then months later just like a couple weeks ago i emailed the guy because i'm like for some, my computer doesn't have enough storage, even though I got 32 terabytes of NVMe storage. The movie's too big. So it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit on all that. So I go like, hey, do you have any idea how to Thunderbolt to USB-C?

That was that whole deal. The guy emailed me back and didn't stop helping me, like literally came up with four different solutions. Like, I think this might work. This probably doesn't work. Thunderbolt to USB-C is a very troublesome thing. Steiger Dynamics. If you want a computer, if you want a workstation class computer or a home theater computer,

which is a cool thing, Steiger Dynamics. Okay. Before this episode comes out, I need to make sure to reach out because I want to get there before the hordes get there. Yeah. I'm not sponsored by them. I literally just had the best experience in the world i've never had a better experience that's awesome that's the kind of thing i'm talking about that like mom and pop shop type like response where it's not like 80 different robots you talk to before you talk

to a person it's like dude i don't even work here how'd you get transferred to me let me call the company i'll send you there i don't even know i work at a wendy's dude how are you what do you want who am i talking to what are you qualified to do listen grandparents i know back in the day everyone answered the phone with a smile and shook your hand through a telegram and we all yearn for the times when communication took weeks instead of minutes. Bob, I don't want to hear it. This is ripped right out of Bob's fridge episode,

your phone call experience. I saw the animated again recently because I loved it so much. This is the world we live in, okay? This is like I was on the freeway and some guy was going faster than me over the speed limit. I was going five over and he went right past me slightly faster. How could he speed?

I'm jaded. That's what I'm saying. But also, yeah, I mean, every phone call I've ever made to any company ever is exactly what you're saying with the phone trees and the disconnects. I know the Bob's fridge one was a whole saga because that was a particularly rage-filled tirade i went on but yeah that's how every phone call is like you're describing it i'm like yeah that's the first phase you know what i've learned is if you really want to get to the heart of something half the time not all the time but a good amount of the time i just i call and the robot answers and i'm like zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero because if you spam zero it'll just put you to the general like desk it'll put you to like the operator right

and someone will a person will answer the phone and then i'm just like hey i didn't give a shit to go through your stupid menus because i don't have four hours for this phone call could you connect me to this person or place or whatever and almost i would say most of the time that person at least is like yeah i'll connect you and you go directly to the correct phone number. Do it. Abuse the system. Spam zeros. Get through that shit and talk to a human. It's way easier. It just blows my mind that general customer service was not qualified to change the day of an appointment. And when I finally got a hold of someone that was qualified, they had to talk to two supervisors before they could do it.

But thankfully, they were like in the room or something because they were just like, I'm going to put you on a brief hold. But like they were even like, I promise you, sir, you won't be transferred this time. Because I was like, I've been put on hold for questions before and I got sent to the abyss. Don't do it. Please don't put me on hold. Like I was crying. Please don't put me on hold. Don't do it.

Phone trees are just archaic like in the day in 2023 all customer service should just be like online based discord based i don't care you you chat with something someone instantly and they're like oh we should get on the a call it's not a phone call it's just like like it just pops up right then and there and like oh i hear you because almost every device has a has a freaking microphone and camera in it you can just get it's just like these archaic phone companies you know what's been a surprisingly good experience for me there are companies that have uh twitter dms open like they'll have a support twitter account and you can dm a bot through twitter but then you'll dm the bot and give it some info.

And it'll like a person will read that and respond to you eventually. But it's in queue, right? So like I'll be going about my day and it'll be like, oh, I got that Twitter person responded. And then I give them a little more info or whatever. And it's slow, but you could just do it whenever it comes up. And it's not like you have to be on the phone on a call waiting for shit whenever that person reads your message they respond and then you actually surprisingly good compared to phone calls i mean it's still a pain in the ass because you're like sending a dozen messages when it could

be a five second phone call but compared to phone trees and getting on hold and mailboxes being full and shit i prefer messaging the bot on through twitter dms or discord like you said like that's fine give me that as an option please for everyone listening being like man they're complaining about such old shit old person shit look when you become an adult you gotta get on the phone a lot and we're trying to change it don't get mad at us for complaining about it we're trying to change the world i would prefer a world where i never called another living being for the rest of my life unless it was because i wanted to because it's family i would do i would do emails i would do chat bots i would do messages whatever man anything to avoid fucking sitting on a chair just like listening to the whole music like uh-huh i hope they answer this time i even miss the music now you get the thing where they interrupt you

with the same like three cycles of messages they're like hey this is bill i own this company thanks for calling your your call is very important to us oh i hate that your call is very but we'll be right back in a moment and then like you hear music for 10 seconds and that same message cycles but hey this is bill i'm the ceo of this company your call is very important it's like dude you said this literally less than a minute ago please it's been 10 minutes of hearing you say the same sentence stop i like when they play ads during that part too like you're on hold and it's like oh you should get our new ultra premium service and upgrade your thing. And I'm like, I am trying to cancel this shit.

Don't sell me things. Or when you are trying to get the service, they're like, have you heard of fiber internet? Would you like that? We offer. That's what I'm calling. Give it to me. You should sign up for our service today. All you have to do is call.

for our service today. All you have to do is call. This brings me to, it's kind of late to introduce it now. We've kind of been going for a while, but that does bring me to today's topic. Mark, you pretty much segwayed it perfectly. The topic is things in life we just weren't prepared for

when I, you know, just weren't prepared for. It can be any time in life. In my brain, it was like becoming an adult and kind of going off on your own. But really, it's just anything. Dealing with phone call customer service seems like it should be any time in life. In my brain, it was like becoming an adult and kind of going off on your own. But really, it's just anything. Dealing with phone call customer service

seems like it should be so simple. And the further we get into the future, it's like, dude, I should be able to press three buttons and be done. Instead, everything is so compartmentalized that you can't even move an appointment time without getting some super specialist that's only in the office one day a week

for one hour at a time. It's wild to me, but that's something I wasn't prepared for. Being a homeowner and dealing with all of the stuff where you have to call somebody and they're just like, hey, you want to get scammed, little boy? It's like, no, please just help me. I've got a leak. Oh, I'm going to scam you. I need more mud.

Press one for more mud. Press two for even more mud. Just can you replace the mud wasn't ready but that's life things we weren't ready for I've got topics I can go into but you guys if you have something you come up with are we being boomery oh yeah no

we are boomery this feels this feels old I miss when phones were connected to the wall in the kitchen with that tangly cord. You know, honestly, I do miss that. That was like a very small portion of my childhood that that existed. But I miss the curly things. Good point.

You wind it around your finger and your finger would start to turn purple. Dude, my childhood house, we had like one of those cut out walls and the phone was like on that little portion of wall that was left but you could dial the phone pass it around the wall and go like sit on the chair like while you were on the phone it's like i could kick back in that chair while on my phone and you could have the cord to play with and stuff it was so how old were you when this was a what? I don't know like Second grade ish. I was about to say yeah, I remember when I was like six or seven I was called I accidentally well not accidentally my brother told me to called the cops

Did you like not know what the cops were? Did he just tell you to call a phone number? Yeah, he called and told me to dial 911. And I'm just like, I don't know. What's the emergency? And I'm like, I don't know. And he's like, you want cops over at your house right now? Biggest nightmare for a kid was realizing the cops can call back.

Because when that phone started ringing again after I hung up I was like it can't be and I pick up the phone and I'm like I'm sending cops to your house and I'm like I don't want to die I thought that was you for a second but child Mark

answers the phone and is like I'm sending cops to your house the police the other guy on the other end is like oh I'm sending cops to your house! The police, the coon guy on the other end is like, oh, you know what? No one's done that before. Shit. I don't like that. I don't like that at all.

That's very threatening. I regret that I've done that so many times now. That was horrible. Very, very scary. That was something you weren't prepared for. They could call back. Doink, doink, doink, doink, doink. No, you know what? You know what I wasn't prepared for? This is older, but

still youthful ignorance and shenanigans. How easy it is to get a motorcycle and just have one of those. I had a motorcycle in college and I literally took, I had 700 bucks in college and i literally took i had 700 bucks in cash and i went on craigslist and i was like what kind of motorcycle can i get for 700 bucks

probably a good one and i found this guy who lived in kentucky who just crossed the river in kentucky and who was selling this old 1970s have you told this story on here i've talked about my motorcycle but not this specifically. Okay. I did not have to take any classes. You can get a learner, like a motorcycle learner's permit license in Ohio by filing paperwork. I turned in like a sheet of paper and it was like, I want to ride a motorcycle. And the DMV was like, okay, yeah, just go ahead, I guess.

Come back and do the test at some point and we'll give you a real license but this is a fake license you could totally ride a motorcycle with this no worries i never learned how to do it and i just bought this motorcycle from this dude with cash i met him in a parking lot in kentucky and i like i like had a helmet and a jacket and i looked at it and i was like i mean he was like do you uh you're gonna ride this home right now right which requires like going on the highway and some stuff um do you know how to ride a motorcycle and i was like i've ridden a bike so i don't know uh and i drive a stick shift car so i know how like gears work right and this dude just happened to be have some free time he taught me how to ride a motorcycle in that parking lot.

He was like, now just go real easy. And it was like a kid with his dad. I was like going up and down the parking lot like, whoa, whoa. And then at some point he was like, okay, stranger, I'm going to go. You hadn't even introduced yourself. I hope you don't die in a fiery accident on the way home on this motorcycle you've clearly never ridden anything like this before he just drove away in his truck he's like my conscious is clear i gave you some instruction i won't feel bad if you're splattered now see you

later good luck i lived so uh it was fine and i actually really enjoy motorcycles but they're uh they're a little dangerous and now that i have like a kid and stuff that i can see why it's maybe a little irresponsibly risky to like have a motorcycle instead of just a car where if i get in an accident i don't die or you know become maimed and terribly injured and road rash all over my body just from a simple accident but yeah like i love that motorcycle i had a good time but I was not prepared for how easy it was to buy one. And then I'm just standing in a parking lot like,

oh, I guess let's go home. OK, me, you're in charge. It was really scary. I had a family member who just got licensed to drive like semi trucks and it was like a four week class, which about as long

as it took to get your general license. But for me, it was like, dude, if you're going to drive one of those giant semis around you gotta be in school for like years there's probably like semi-college you have to go to you have to like go get your semi-master's degree like those things are so big and dangerous and there's so much stuff you have to like learn to pack and undo the trailer and all this that's gonna take years to get that and he was just like uh i'm done i was like what i wasn't done thinking about how long it must take to get your license like no i got it like that quick and that blew my mind i don't know

those those have never intimidated me that much i got hit by one so i guess my brain's a little different tractor trailer backing up even in a video game which i'm good at i'm like how i couldn't even do the math in my head i feel like there should be at least a class. Well, there was. There was a class. It was just very short. It's probably very intensive. But I mean, it's it's you just a lot of it is is learning about how the truck works and

like, you know, check the brakes, check the fluids, whatever. I'm sure it's it's like a checklist. It's not that the driving skill. Yeah, you I might hope they would develop that a little bit more but it's not like that it's like a big car you know how cars are way and i know you don't know you don't have a car but you're familiar with cars anyway um you both get three points for whatever that was oh thank you that was sincere i just i hadn't turned it off yet what were your topics wade well things i mean i've got several one thing i wasn't prepared

for this kind of a sillier one is like whenever a show you really like either ends or is canceled is it really that bad i remember i forget what show it was i think i remember loving are you afraid of the dark but i remember when like i was really upset when angry beavers didn't last very long. It was like a Nickelodeon show. And I loved angry beavers. Angry beaver. I loved angry beavers, man. And when that went away, I was just like, well, it's got to come back.

Mom, make it come back. Like fix it. I want more angry beavers. And I just wasn come back. Like, fix it. I want more Angry Beavers. And I just wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared for that to happen. I know people that only got the one season of Firefly were pretty devastated by that. Apparently, a lot of Netflix shows, like they get like two to five seasons and don't keep going.

There's a lot of people that are like, man, I want that show back. I don't know. Just that's something I wasn't ready for whenever it happened, because it's like this has existed my whole life. I'm like seven. I've always loved this show it happened, because it's like this has existed my whole life. I'm like seven. I've always loved this show from the two years it's been on. I can't remember life before it. And then it ended.

I was just like, but it's gone. And I remember it. Where is it? I want it back. And I've always had a pit in my stomach for angry beavers. You know what? I realized something that ties back into what we were talking about before, but also is just like was news to me because the writer's strike is going on right now and there was another writer's strike back in 2008 and there was a show that i watched in that year called heroes yeah heroes

that i really liked i didn't learn until this writer's strike that the reason heroes was so good in the first season and so ass in the second is because of the writer's trek is because they tried to just push the show through and just be like we'll figure it out as we go and i don't know who they hired to write it if it was just like the director or something like i have no idea yeah well it was a complex show right the thing it was chat gpt alpha i don't i don't know if that was out there but that was the thing right heroes they had a ton of like characters right there were like a lot of intertwining stories and in new characters that were sort of introduced in the second season and then when the writer's strike happened they were

just like shoot some stuff fill the scene oh my god and none of the characters got developed and all the stories just like fell flat and sucked. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it was bad. It was very bad. And it was because of the writer's strike. And I'm like, if you guys had just waited like a couple months, like just a few, just a few, it would have been fine. It would have been totally fine. Why did you have to fight for your employment rights now?

Wait until the season break. No, no, no, no. Not the strike. Not the strike. No, no. Oh, you mean delay filming the show. Just delay the filming. Okay, I'm with you.

These uppity writers. Stupid selfish writers. Why couldn't you just wait for these shows to finish? Can't you build your strike around my show no no i'm with you that makes more that makes more set postponed i mean what i can't imagine what people think though right because that is i've been hearing stories about that heroes was a big one but there were other movies and shows where they like what they had like a what was it one of the transformers movies started filming during that 2008 strike and apparently like they michael bay or someone

just showed up with like one piece of paper that had like a outline of the movie on it and they were like yeah we can start filming stuff like that has to be just like a rumor right that can't be real the writers are not the only ones that make the show happen or the movie happen but i can't imagine what people think where they're just like oh we'll just start filming it it'll come together just get some shots get some set do some setups it's like you don't you know no one is steering this bus you're just letting hitting the gas on a bus and letting it go over a cliff or like wherever no it is exactly like that it is so much like yes why do you think it would be otherwise why it should be otherwise that's

according to who i i can't man no this no no there is a this is like styrofoam to my innards no it's it's not planned like you think it is it It's not like, ooh, this is a great idea. Let's do it now. It's like, oh, we have a gap in our schedule that needs to be filmed. Transformers! That did good before. Yes, yes, yes. Go, go. You're going to get this guy and this guy. And you guys going, whose schedule's open?

Who's available? You, you, you. And that's how it happens. Literally. There is no other way. But it's so much money to just toss shit together like that it's millions and millions of dollars to be like we better make this happen just start filming i don't care if there's no script you talk you talk you talk third all right it's a scene let's go like

really think of how much money would be lost if they didn't go for that time slot and actually thought about what they were doing no no no no not at all i choose not to believe this i can't it's a fact that i don't believe you mark and i only deal in facts okay all right well it's a fact that i don't want to believe you you caught me uh con 4k with the facts on my end uh anyway that's wild jinx uh we're so goofy oh my gosh tv shows was one um there's the obvious ones right like taxes no one knows being self-employed there's no planning for that money in general is just very confusing sometimes like trying to plan things out knowing like how to like when i was working um at udf doing ice cream years ago it was like trying to budget out like what i was making to help

pay bills and be prepared for everything like you learn how to balance a checkbook or at least we used to i don't know if they do it anymore but i remember learning how to balance a checkbook in like ninth grade and other than that there was no help whatsoever with like finances and stuff and it was like i got a paycheck great what how i gotta pay a bill somehow how do i like there's nothing there's no help for that i had no idea what i was doing and i remember i had like a car payment and student loans and stuff and i was just like how am i supposed to know how to do this what do i do how i'll tell you what i wasn't prepared for in that similar vein is just college in general. And I'm not talking like, oh, the workload.

Oh, the you got to like be responsible, stuff like that. I went into college not even knowing what college really was. I'm dead serious. I would agree. No, I agree with you. I feel that too. Yeah. It's just like I didn't understand. I would agree. No, I agree with you. I feel that too. Yeah. It's just like, I didn't understand.

I barely understood what high school was. I barely understood why school occurred. It was just something that you did. You showed up and that happened and you go to class and that on a conceptual level was all it was. College as a nebulous idea was just like, it's high school plus. Yeah. Yeah.

But I didn't even understand what high school was, let alone going to college, suddenly being thrown into this cocktail of not only responsibility in classes and then the student loan debts and how easy it is for getting a credit card and that whole experience there. But just like, I didn't understand why I was there. I did not know why I needed to all i needed all that's how you get lots of money to have a family and a picket fence duh you go to college exactly yeah that's

it people just went like of course you did and no one explained it on the way it was so such a given didn't you pick your job in junior high like the rest of us literally there was one day in junior high where we went to like our computer room because we had a computer room in the high school or the junior high school i don't know if you guys remember and they like had us fill out this little survey and this survey popped up with like a little wheel uh or a pie chart rather than wheels a pie chart it was just like oh i matched with 60 farmer 30 lawyer 10 like it told me how i matched with different careers and i was just like so i pick one of these and that's my job i guess i'll go

lawyer those make good money that is literally why i was pre-law because i took something in eighth grade that told me i might be okay at it i love that you're 30 farmer i just that i'm gonna remember that 60 farmer 60 farmer oh he's a man he's a gone farmer he's so farmer i like that all those tests only had the cliched ones too they're like i'm i'm 12 firefighter i'm 16 police officer oh man thank god i didn't match with factory floor worker and they didn't have health insurance uh you know actuary on there or whatever they didn't have stuff like that it was very specifically like the broad topics they were like you could go into law medicine farming or cooking or you, shit like that. It was like, I guess those are the things I matched with. So I literally went through college thinking like, okay, well,

that's the one that was one of the things I did. I liked watching Law and Order. I liked doing my pre mock trial stuff and all that. I was like, okay, I guess I'll go do that. And then I finished college. And it's like, after I finished college, it was like, that was the first time I was even adult enough in my brain to have the thought of like what do i want to do now that i have this degree i owe thousands and thousands of dollars for i did not um care very much about like being responsible and planning all of us did we were kids for like high school and college like i got to college and i was like this is fun this is like a party but i have a striking memory of after I graduated looking and like I still was working at Jimmy John's at the time. And I was like, oh, I should get like a job, like a career job, you know, because I I didn't really have a plan for that. And I started looking into stuff and applying for for jobs just like desk jobs. And I remember I took several several interviews more than several i had a lot of interviews and went and did like you know some of them were like scams and some of them were like

come shell insurance for us it's great total scam type job things and every time i'd get there and i'd be in in the middle of the process just like why would i want to do this what's my motivation here it was such a weird realization that it was i've gotten through college and not even ever thought about like why did i do all that yeah people would ask you like what do you want to do and it's like i don't like you have to like make up an answer like they would push you till you answered it was like here's my answer i guess and it was just like i lived on that until like for some reason something finally like triggered internally it was just like no what do i want to do and it was was like, well, now it's too late.

I've gone through all this. I took my LSAT. I'm so invested. Like I can't change now. And that's why I just kept working at like this ice cream place for a while because I was not motivated to apply to law schools because I knew deep down I didn't want it.

But I felt like I was stuck and compelled to do it. And then we fell into doing this with Drunk Minecraft and then obviously you taking off and all that. But it was just like. In terms of not being prepared for how college works, law school was hilarious to me. I went to law school and I knew nothing about it. I didn't know how the classes worked.

There's a specific method they use in law school. It's called the Socratic method. It's much more discussion-oriented than a lot of higher-level education stuff where it's just a lecture. You sit there, you listen, you take notes. In law school, everyone is expected to participate in a conversation. So you're expected to have read whatever material, usually read, you know, a handful of cases and have some analysis and some something ready to add to the conversation.

And I was completely unfamiliar with that. And I showed up on the first day of law school. They were just like, orientation starts at like 9 a.m. Wear a suit and a tie. Wear your nice suit. Come to this room for first year orientation. And I got there and I was like, okay, okay, cool. We're lawyers.

Everyone's in suits and stuff. And it's like, cool. Yeah, all right. This is where. And immediately they were like, all right this is where and immediately they were like all right so here's all your homework have these cases and stuff uh read and brief them and uh be ready to have discussion on you know tomorrow classes start or whatever so read this uh you should have already read this but here's your homework just

and i was like what's a brief what's a hey how do i analyze a case what they just started saying shit you're supposed to extract things like a holding from the case which is you know the actual decision of the judge the issue of the case which is where you distill down the core legal thing that's in dispute in the case all this stuff and so we did we sat through that and i was kind of like i'll figure out how to do that uh that's a later issue. And then the next part of orientation, they took us to a church where they were going to have some speeches. But before the speeches started,

we were all sitting a bunch of 1Ls in suits sitting in this church. A woman in full costume comes out of the side of like the stage front area of the church and just starts singing. It's a song from the Disney movie Hunchback of

Notre Dame called God Save the Outcast or God Help the Outcast or something. This woman just comes in. She's holding a rose. She's in like a costume and she just starts going, God help the outcast. And I think I'm having a fever dream or some shit. I'm sitting

here in my suit and tie just like I forgot that church was a mandatory requirement of law school. Well I was a pretty conservative private law school that I went to but yeah no like she just comes and she's singing it and I'm sitting there like oh my god

I've lost my fucking mind. What is happening? And did I apply to a joke law school? Oh no! Like, that was the weirdest shit! That was orientation! She sings the whole song, nobody introduced her. There was, she just did it. And she finished, she like walked through the aisles of the pews and through the audience

and we're just like... She collects money. Oh, hey! Okay, yeah, oh cool. She's singing in the audience. This is cool when they do it in musical theater. This must be pretty neat, I guess. And then, like, that finished.

The dean gave a speech, and he was like, all right, go home and start reading and never stop reading for the rest of your life. They never acknowledged it? That's it. Yeah. No. No explanation. On my way out, I grabbed a program because I didn't get one on the way in and I looked and it was like you know

meet and greet take your seats musical performance speech from the dean and I was like ah shit wow that was so I wish it was unscripted there was just a lady who knew that you guys would be there and she was just like I'm gonna get dressed up and perform for them

it still is one of the most unbelievable moments because I just for a long time it was like a five minute long song right so i'm just sitting here like no one else is getting up or saying anything so i'm not gonna be that guy who's like oh what are you doing i'll just listen and clap along and and uh do we participate or what do i sing is there am i in the chorus for this or what is this like street performance art? I don't know, man. But yeah, nobody explains shit in law school and they're just like, read these

cases. Here's a song. This lady's gonna sing at you and be real sad. Alright, be a lawyer. Nobody fucking prepared me for that, man. It was tough. Here's your homework. Here's a song. Every day you get done with classes and they're like, wait, the song's starting. Everyone gather in the atrium for the song of the day you get done with classes and they're like, wait, the song's starting.

Everyone gather in the atrium for the song of the day. Big part of law school. Have I ever told you, have I ever talked on this podcast, Bob, you know about this, but the time I almost got roped into a pyramid scheme? Oh yeah, I remember that. I don't know if you've talked about that. I went to a couple of meetings for pyramid schemes, but go ahead. Yeah, that was the thing.

It's just like, um like um in i think this was freshman year of college uh this was in around the same era as when we got signed up for that credit card real easily at the peace party yeah and i think some friends of mine had talked to me about like oh they wanted to get started this business opportunity and right now we all know that that's code word for pyramid scheme but at the time time, I had no idea. I'm like, oh, business, that sounds pretty cool. You start in your own business. And they go like, yeah, I'm starting my own business. I'm like, good for you, man. Good for you. And he's like, you want to be a part of it? Oh, I don't know if I'm ready for that. And then they start,

they give the spiel. And at this point, I didn't know what the spiel was. And so I'm like, oh, it sounds pretty cool. So you have this company that you buy products from, and then you sell those products, and then you can get rank up for every referral that you have. It sounds great. I have friends that I can refer into it. Oh, this is easy. You only need to sell how much per month?

Oh, you can buy your own. It's easy. The money comes from the river that's why i talked to you about it and it was just like even i don't even think you fully were aware i think you had a clue that it was like a pyramid you talked to me about it and i was like that sounds weird but also i want to make money like i was kind of into it i was like yeah no i could see how you would make money doing this that's interesting so the turning point for me was like yeah this sounds great because uh they invited me out to this seminar right i think i went with you to that there was like a big thing at like a i remember

you and i going to like a big it was like a like a ballroom kind of thing you were there awesome i went to one of them i went to that yeah then you can corroborate this because this is how insane it was because it's what it was like what you were corroborate this because this is how insane it was because it was like what you were talking about reminded me of this. It's a room of maybe 1,000 people. Wade, think like when we did a panel at an event. I went to a couple of these seminars. I don't know if I was at the one you're talking about.

You were there too? I wasn't with you guys, but I also had friends who were like, dude, there's a way we can make lots of money. All we need is like an $80 investment, and then we can make hundreds back go ahead exactly it might have been something else there were a lot of scams flown by um but it was like a room everyone was in great suits like my buddy was there and he was in this fantastic suit with like a tie chain and everything and this guy comes up like and everyone's like people lost their minds yeah it was like being in the audience

for like a daytime television show whenever you go to seminars and he was talking about you wanna make money everyone was like I was like I've worked so hard to bring you guys here and let me tell ya it was an investment

but I'm here now at ruby level or whatever the shit was he was talking about these different levels and it's like i've recruited a thousand people therefore i'm making six figures when i hit ruby level last year the company sent me this rolex which is worth twenty five thousand dollars yeah if you want to get your own Rolex what do you gotta do get to ruby level it's like a fucking cult man it's crazy it is like a cult

it is so much like a cult it is so like a cult but I could see how people would be roped into that because it was just it was infectious you wanted to be like yeah I want to be a ruby like and so I was not prepared for what a pyramid scheme was uh and he would be like he had his money he was like this year is a ten thousand dollars he was

fanning it you were like this is less than i make in one month this is just one of my checks blah that sort of shit and so uh afterwards like everyone take a picture of me and my money. And I remember this very distinctly is I didn't get a picture. But I remember him panicking because he let people hold his money. And there was less money than there should have been by the time he got back. So somewhere in there in the chain of picture taking, someone just started taking money from him. Oh, how are you going to do that with not prop money who's gonna use real cash for a bit like that holy crap they couldn't afford to waste money on the prop money yeah so this was like back then i was not prepared for the credit cards the scams the schemes

the pyramid schemes what is the one that goes around today that people know now but not people in it uh i don't know there's a few i mean there's herbal life is like a kind of a pyramid scheme yeah they call it multi-level marketing right now yeah mlms right dude they focus so little i don't know about the one you went to they focus so little on the product it was like some kind of like people are going through a hard time this this book will help them and help you feel better about yourself and you can spread the message and make money while you do it and then that was like that was all we knew about the product after that it was how we could make money it was three minutes on talking about the product

and like an hour about how we could make money doing it how many referrals you need to get like you said get to certain levels and stuff how much much money they make. Like it was all focused on how much money you could make and so little on what the product itself was. They very much knew that you were there to make money, not for the product. Someone else needs the product. You just need the money. They would always have like the hype guy,

like Mark was talking about, but they always have someone who followed them who would kind of explain how you make the money. And it was listening to them was always like, like trying to figure out how the Fortnite battle pass works pass works right it's one of those things where it's like oh well if you sell 500 a month you get six quality points you spend your quality points to upgrade your level but you don't want to upgrade level too fast because you can spend your quality points to get discounts so you could buy even more product if you spend three quality points

you get a 20 discount then you spend a thousand a month that gets you 12 quality points a month but you're only spending three of those qualities but then you have nine quality points left on the month you use that to scale yourself up to the platinum level on your first month all you need and it's like whoa what the fuck it sounds like you're explaining a way that i could make money by doing nothing and by spending money on products buying me buying things from you somehow makes me money is what it sounds like you're explaining yeah you gotta move the product and it it sounds like you're explaining. Yeah, you got to move the product. And it's like it always felt like that to me because it's like, well, if you just recruit three friends, they recruit three more friends and they recruit three friends. And you have nine thousand people working for you that you get commissions from those nine thousand people who are all underneath you.

But and that'll get you all the way up to the gold, gold, gold platinum level. And it's like, you know, the only reason I never actually got roped in was because I didn't have enough money to make the initial investment. There were times where I was like, dude, if I had $80, I would do this. I've got like 40 bucks to my name. And they were like, just save up. Give me a call when you've got the money and we can get you in. It'll be perfect. By the time I got home and thought about it, I was like, why would I buy this? Shouldn't I just be selling it to other people? Why do I have to buy it first? Wouldn't I just have a garage full of that product and then they would just have the money and I would have nothing except that product? I won't name names, but some of my friends had trunks full of these like knockoff energy

drinks and like things like, all I do is I buy the stuff myself. And I drink energy drinks anyway. That was like the pitch. It's like, you're drinking it anyway. Buy it for yourself and make money. Make money on that. There's so many different kinds of products that they do this with. That's how the stock market works.

The stock market works just by go like, you buy me and I buy mine and you buy mine. We trade that and it's no value is created but everyone's making money do you remember when people like started catching on and companies would try to be like it's not a pyramid scheme because the pyramids like upside down they're like you start up here and you work your way down to the point it's like so like a pyramid but upside no not a pyramid pyramids go up this one you work your way down. They found different ways to try to design it. We prefer to call it an invertimid scheme. Invertimid.

Scheme is such a strong word. It's more like a pyramid special. It's a plan. It's the tetraparabahedral. There's another word for three to four dimensional pyramid I'm not going to get you there sorry it's not a thing I know tetrahedron

that's something with three tetrahedron tetrahedron yes it's a tetrahedron tetrahedronal plan I also I want to qualify i'm not commenting at all on the products themselves because i don't know the quality of any of these companies products i assume a lot of them are schemish to the point where they're bad but some of them might be decent

products that actually work but the layout of the company the way it's presented historically whenever i was in high school college was always very like shady scummy very charismatic person and then usually be like we didn't have a money person. The one I remember there wasn't like a money guy that came out to talk about points, but there was like, and here's the guy that started it all. It was like the CEO would step down and he was the one swagged out and what looked like very expensive stuff with the Rolex. And he was talking about, I started this in my garage like two years ago. And look at me now, I have a vacation home down in the bahamas i've got a yacht over here

and you could be me in two years too with enough effort like that was the guy that was the follow up was like the rich look at me guy it was charismatic i'm working my way up guy and then ceo would step in and be like fucking loaded buy my shit and you'll get rich somehow there needs to be like high school courses on that sort of stuff where yeah it just it needs to be a class where the theme is if it sounds too good to be true go with that gut feeling yeah because that's so that's always the case if there's a credit card where it's like no interest and basically free money nope that's gonna screw you over somehow it's a it's a pyramid scheme or it's a mainstream main multi-level marketing, whatever, one of these things. And they're like, you'll

make money just by buying product and having it. And no, that's not how that works. You should trust your gut on that. I would have invested too, man. I'm telling you, if I had the money, I would have invested because they were so persuasive. I was in the same boat as you would. I was, when Mark told me, I remember I was like, Hmm. I was an honor roll smart kid but like just when you don't know something you don't know something and so when someone's presenting you an opportunity to make money what sounds like an easy way and you've got none it's so tempting to be like i got nothing to lose except for this 80 investment i guess like it literally does it's not though so don't do that i wonder if anyone's listening to this right now and being like, but not my business.

Oh, no. My garage full of stuff is great. Yeah. And I sell some. Oh, I haven't sold anything in a while. Uh-oh. Yeah. So just be careful out there, everybody.

I've got a whole list, but like looking at the the time we'll let the wrap up maybe we'll do a follow-up sometime but there's a lot to this that i wish we had known but alas we are where we are um well we're older now so now we know i had a whole section on getting older man i was so i was like the big reveal getting older no one prepared it but you know next time next time um all right looking at the points i quit calculating after about the 20 minute mark that was a while ago let me assign some points real quick remember how good and insightful all my stories were you know i'm tempted to put this down to a coin flip that doesn't sound very good to me interesting mark how do you feel about a

coin flip i feel indifferent about a coin flipped in fact i am eager for a coin flip man oh man the score is real close but is it not is it not tied if it's not tied then there is a winner and a loser so we don't need to do a coin flip okay back when i was assigning points at around however long ago it was it was seven points mark six points bob and i don't know how many points to give since then so i'm just gonna give an amount. That would put Mark one point ahead at the end. That would. Why do you say that would? Does it?

Does it or not? Well, it does, but that was, you know, the argument about the coin flip. Wade, I, you know, what else I have to say about that is that you did an excellent job hosting the episode. It was a very interesting topic. Thank you. Let me give you a point for that. We had a wide-ranging discussion, and I feel like it was really like an old-school classic episode of Distractible

and I commend you for such an excellent thing, job, that you did. Thank you. Mark, would you like to kiss my ass for a point? You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Okay, I'll give you a point. I know you're playing me, but I'm gonna let you. It's just stunning.

Like the stars on a clear moonless night. the way that your beard frames your chin the jawline that that's creating okay i've got to stop this boys okay god we got to move on from me enough about me you know there's a reason why i only had wubba reprised in space and not bubba because bob had Bob had to leave, but I'll take it. But you were so loyal, and you stuck it through. I was. WOG! Yes. I could see why you wear red shirts

all the time. It does wonders for your complexion, which is good to begin with, but the red really brings out those lowlights, which is such a hard thing to accomplish. It's such a savvy move that you have this perfect shade of red, and it just, I mean, you get like rosy cheeks, but the perfect amount, not too much.

Just like it's, who does? I gotta say this felt nice, and now I just start to feel dirty and objectified after a minute or two, I think. But thank you. Thank you. Well, after all of the ass kissing that's happened, I still have Mark up by one point

i think we should do a coin flip guys i've always been a big fan of coin flips i'm okay yeah so he's okay so he's okay if we do it so we should do a coin flip i think he said he's in that's what he means we don't need a coin flip i don't know what you're afraid of mark i don't win coin flips i believe in wade's ability to make smart and passionate decisions i believe wade had a passionate all right idea to do the what no i want a coin flip oh you do want a coin flip yeah let's do a coin flip all right i unwin so do i flip this or i do the one on the website which one you want bob let's cap it baby which one is heads that's tails that's heads i gotta move some stuff so i'm gonna have to do mark's like lifty here. I think.

I know. Yeah. See, it's the only way. The fair, the fairness triangle. Yeah. All right. So here is tails. Black circle.

Got it. I trust you inherently. I don't even need you to show this to me. I believe you. I know that you know what you're doing. This seems fair. Mark, you technically had the most points. So I'll allow you to call it. Heads.

I haven't flipped it yet. It'll still be heads when it's here. He's pre-calling heads. He's committing. Oh, shit. Jesus Christ. The fuck? It was about to maybe hit a cable or a key that would have ended this call, so I had to catch

it. Okay. Oh, fuck. Okay. You want to call it, Mark? I'm going to go get it. He called heads. He called heads already. I called heads.

Jesus. Oh, boy. I should have just taken it. You should have, because it's tails. The triangle of fairness says it's tails. It looks like heads to me. I don't know what you're talking about. That's a head. No, it's tails. The triangle of fairness says it's tails. It looks like heads to me. I don't know what you're talking about. That's a head.

No, it wasn't. My knees really hurt. This floor is very hard. All right, but what was it on the first three times you flipped it? You just allowed that to be tails. I call bullshit on this because- Okay, you know what? We'll do two out of three.

Call it again. Heads! Why don't you know how to flip things how are you not doing this it's tails you can't just let it fall on your lap you don't even try i don't have a lot of desk space we'll edit this all out cut the episode right where wade, and Mark has one more point than Bob. And then none of this ever had to happen. Wow, it's Tails a third time.

Well, that doesn't make any sense then. Is this like a weighted? Is this the same as yours? No, it's not. Mine's at least even. Wait, show it to me again. Doesn't yours have a bulbous tip on one side hold it up horizontal what is happening it's got a bulbous tip on one side it is much heavier on the head side

the head side very fair no no no i call bullshit on that that's not fair at all you can't have a weighted lens cap at least this one was even mine's evenly bulbous it's as much in on one side as it is out on the other that's not how that works at all god i i refrain i abstain from losing i don't i i abstain from losing what what happens if i in out of respect and honoring the position that you're in, because I can relate, what if I abstain from winning? What does that leave us? You know what?

Hold on. I've got a solution. Uh-oh. Oh, not the wheel. Oh, I've got a solution. I don't want the wheel. It's not the wheel. It's the flippy.

What in the hell? Oh, okay. All right, Mark, what color you want? Huh? Give me green. All right, I'm going to click, and whenever I say three, two, one, and click, you call it after I say that, okay?

There's always a latency. I'm just going to say heads. No, tails! Ah, no, heads! Ah, freaking... Heads! Three, two, one, call it... Heads!

Yes! Yes! two one call it hands yes yes i think i think we need to make an agreement that there's there's got to be at least a cool down period on coin flips to end episodes for a little bit here i think this is i mean i was just gonna call mark the winner then you said wait actually i want a coin flip no all you know what i regret I lived to regret that, didn't I? I'm already regretting it. I didn't even have to live that long, so. Best five out of seven? No. I win. Period. It's a fair win. You

had more points. Then Bob asked for a coin flip. You agreed, and the coin said I was right to begin with. So, um, Bob, sorry. I know you've done a lot of these, but do you have a loser speech? It feels good to know that your lens cap is on my side. I'm going to keep that in my back pocket.

Some point in the future, I'm sure we'll circle back to the lens cap situation. I just want to apologize to the viewers. I should not have encouraged the coin flip to happen. That's entirely my fault. Come at me in the subreddit. I deserve it. I will never, ever advocate for a coin flip to happen that's entirely my fault uh come at me in the subreddit i deserve it i will never ever advocate for a coin flip or wheel spin ever again and that is my solemn vow what about

paper rock scissors uh that's a whole different that's a gentleman's game that's not a coin flip so that's an entirely different situation okay cool uh mark winter speed uh i think somehow in this episode i broke my nose again. I don't know how. What? See, look, it started to get red right here and there's a little, it's sore. I, I, it's so fragile. Like if I crack it, like if I rub my nose really hard or scratch my nose or like rub my eye and like poke it, see, like it's, I don't know what.

That's not good, man. I, dude, I don't know. I, I broke it once at the beginning of filming. I swear, like it just just, like, gets sore. You think it was your laugh? Your Pluto laugh? Did that break your nose? No, no.

It was in this episode. Listen to my words. As winner, I declare that in the future, all words will be listened to. Period. That seems like a dangerous declaration. As winner. Fair, I guess. And coin flips are banned forever. I am on board

with that. As long as you're host, I agree. All future episodes will be judged purely on skill. So long as you brave, brave watchers and listeners vote for me to be the winner in the future, I will always make sure everything is fair.

I like the wheel. I will make sure all future elections are fair. We will do the hard things and the other things, and we will make sure it's fair. Thank you all for joining in. Thanks for our fair results from our contestants. I appreciate the fairness that is always so fair here at Distractible. If you haven't already, go follow Mark, Markiplier.

Go follow Bob, MySkirm. I'm Wade, Minion777, or LordMinion777, depending. distractible um if you haven't already go follow mark markiplier go follow bob my skirm i'm wade minion 777 or lord minion 777 depending we might do another reprise of this i i enjoyed talking about it i think we have a lot more we could talk about so hopefully you all enjoyed it let us know in the subreddits plural now we have merch maybe probably hopefully we should just stop promoting that that's never gonna it's fine podcast.com it'll restock one day maybe yeah maybe i don't know listen we just gotta get through all the phone calls once we get through the eight customer service calls someone will answer and they'll be like yeah we'll restock it right it always works with other companies so why

wouldn't it work somebody there will be merch maybe i don't can look. But until then, thank you all for listening. Watching on Spotify. Preferably watching because you can see all of our fun antics like lens flip and Bob dancing. Mark breaking his nose. You can see it all live here. Anyway, until Mark hosts next time podcast.