Distractible - I'm Better
Episode Date: May 29, 2023Xbox vs Playstation, LeBron vs Jordan, Skyline vs Gold Star... A lot of times, strong opinions can be silly, no matter how competitive or passionate people get about them. Learn more about your ad cho...ices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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good evening gentle listener and welcome to distract This week, the gents discuss the competitive nature of mankind.
Magnificent Mark laughs at what turns out to be a eulogy.
Meek Goat Bob declares the age of hockey and refuses to compare an active player.
And Winsome Wade dishes the dirt on Tyler's apocalypto tag.
From LeBron James' record to D-buttons on the PS controller, yes, it's time for I'm
Better.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Distractible.
I'm your host, because Bob couldn't take the win.
My name is Wade.
Hello.
What's up, Bob?
You can be gracious about it.
I'm fine.
It's fine, I'm fine.
It's good.
I'm happy for you.
Good job.
I mean, how else do I describe it other than like you were literally handed a win and said
no, please flip a coin.
Bob has such a strong interest in fairness
that he felt like he didn't want Wade to feel cheated
in an episode where clearly Mark had plans and designs
from the beginning.
Fair though it may have been,
I didn't want you to feel like you were robbed
of any extraordinary fairness in your favor,
but not in your favor because it was fair.
Theoretically, the subreddit can have no
objections. Literally,
I'm telling them, literally
there's nothing to be upset about.
You cannot say that it's
not fair, subreddit. To be
completely fair though,
at the end of an episode Mark hosted,
I won, and I
tried to cheat and give you a win,
and even in whatever I hosted,
I forced you to host the episode.
Like we both tried to cheat to help you win.
And even we can't stop you from cheating is not,
no one prospers when we cheat.
Okay.
Cheating is not how you get ahead in life.
You have to work hard and really just be persistent and,
and do your best best and the good guys
will win in the end and with the meek shall inherit the earth and that's i'm the meek baby
meek means loses a lot i went to cheat code central or cheat code planet cheat cc.com
look for distractible game shark codes and even after trying to find those i couldn't help you
win bob do you guys remember those websites by the way those are kind of that's a really niche reference i mean yeah i
used to go because you go look up like inputs or whatever for you know how do you where what's it
where's the cheat screen and what's the input oh how to play as minion and twisted metal 2
or game shark codes i didn't have a game shark for a while so i always looked at those and like
longingly and i was like oh man i could play as
dark tooth if i had a game shark but i don't did you know they're making a a twisted metal movie
i saw i heard rumors will it be good no there's no way that it could be good will it inspire
another game oh yeah i could would it be good all, I'm glad you feel about those things.
I think it would work as a mobile game.
I think there's a world where if you put together a twisted metal mobile game.
Now, I've never played it before, but if it was some kind of like endless car driving runner.
That's terrible.
What do you mean?
I'm sorry.
I can't sit here and allow you to tell me that one of my childhood favorites belongs in like a gotcha mobile game.
Mark is right.
It's a mobile game.
What you do is you take Temple Run.
You take Temple Run.
You replace the guy with a model of Minion.
And you replace a temple with a road.
And you call it Minion Run.
You have to have cheats to get
minion you have to be like warthog or sweet okay whatever who cares i don't know anything about
this yeah just because you only play gotcha style shitty mobile games doesn't mean that
good mobile games can't possibly exist it's just another planet hair and risk
dude risk on mobile is actually pretty fun it's pretty fun it's actually that's pretty fun i mean
a lot of people don't like it but the diablo mobile game hat was a pretty authentic experience
to diablo even though it was filled with microtransactions if you can ignore the
microtransactions and don't get sucked in if you just want to run around and do diablo things
it's pretty fun it was yeah i would agree it just got to a certain point where it's like
man i sure need to have some upgraded gems what are the odds of getting one ah a hundred thousand dollars worth
of chances yeah well just because you think uh twisted metal is such a terrible game that it
can't possibly be adapted in a good way doesn't mean that it's a bad game or it couldn't happen
my entire name is built on the foundation of stealing from them
welcome to the show everybody i'm disappointed in you where one of us hosts the other two compete
for points and obviously you know our relationship by this point i'm legally obligated to care about how you guys are doing today how are you oh good that's great gleefully
awaiting the delivery of my quad lock phone case yes i may have already ordered one in the
interstitial in the time in between we may have recorded these episodes on the same day and i may
have ordered one in between the sessions well what do what do you mean? I'm wearing a whole new outfit today. It's a different...
You can tell I got my hair cut.
Yeah.
See, I got my hair cut.
Sure.
Death in just two shirts.
I'm great.
I'm doing real good.
That's great.
I am wrestling with technology,
which is a perpetual state of being in my life.
So what are you wrestling with, may we ask?
Man, I don't want to get into it.
So I got that enclosure
for the hard drive array so i can copy over the files and i quickly set it up and then it wasn't
working and then i came in i dragged the whole enclosure over here and then i was like why isn't
it working and then i was like oh i need to upgrade the software license for the raid software
and i dragged it back over to my laptop and i was like okay get going i think it's working and it's
transferring but i don't even think it's transferring.
It pulls me.
It's just like, and then I'm going to have to go over there.
I'll be like, well, I probably got to stop this because it said three days to transfer it all.
I'm like, oh, my God.
Wait, your new hard drive enclosure plays Raid Shadow Legends?
No.
That would make a great not mobile game.
That would make a great immobile game.
I think they have a PC version of that.
I'm pretty sure.
I like great.
Actually, if I'm playing raid, that's what we should call PC games.
Immobile games.
Immobile games.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Very right.
You are.
Well, that sounds fun, Mark.
Seems like you're doing good, too.
Yeah, I'd agree.
I don't want to talk about anything.
Can I go home?
You are home. No, you are home. This is't want to talk about anything. Can I go home? You are home.
No, you are home.
This is where you live.
No, shh.
Oh, I mean, this podcast is where you live.
In a room?
I assume you're in a building.
You could live there.
No, no.
Are you in a room that's not enclosed by a building?
Are you moments, inches away from nature encroaching upon you?
I don't know where I am.
I don't know what I'm doing.
All I know is that Wade can't possibly make me lose, away from nature encroaching upon you i don't know where i am i don't know what i'm doing all i know
is that wade can't possibly make me lose so i'm just gonna phone this episode in i i think that
i have it in the bag and i'm not even gonna worry about anything you know i don't know how else we
can cheat to give bob the win and still have him fail but maybe we'll find a way uh no offense bob try take some points from me
you ain't got nothing cheaters never lose okay so cheat all you want it's only gonna make you win
harder yeah you're just a bitch baby host who can't even make bob win it's gonna be me no matter
what why even try you were the bitch host last time that couldn't make Bob win. The episode was called Bob wins or something, wasn't it?
I mean, something like that.
And boy, did it deliver.
I don't have any crazy gimmicks today.
I'm just going to assign points based on some fun competition between us
talking about what I think are relatively interesting topics.
Topics about competition.
It's weird how competitive everything is, and it's so unnecessarily so.
Like, we'll talk about some of these things more in depth, but people are super competitive
about like Coke versus Pepsi, Nike versus like Adidas or Reebok or whoever, the console
wars, Xbox is better better no playstation's better
there's all this competition and we're gonna dive in and talk about how we feel about it whether
it's necessary and i will give points accordingly definitely with no bias toward bob and we're gonna
tell anyone who likes anything why they're stupid for liking it and caring so much yes yeah you know
you could just name him.
We're talking about Tyler, obviously.
Mr. Hyper Competitive.
That's right.
Our guest, Tyler.
Did anyone call him?
Is he here?
Yeah, maybe.
Tyler?
Did anybody call him? He's only our guest in spirit.
Mark will be possessed by the ghost of Tyler,
and that's how Tyler's the guest.
It's a Go reference.
Tyler, we're only talking about you behind
your back. Just the way you like it. You guys do that, right?
Don't you get possessed by the ghost of
viewers or something? Oh yeah, absolutely.
You guys do, right? Oh, red chips!
Oh, I hate red. Oh, I'm so angry I'm leaving.
Sorry, Tyler. Tyler, go away. Go to Mark.
What? It's your turn to babysit.
Have you guys never heard the story?
This is an aside. Tyler doesn't like red
chips. Have you ever heard the story of how he this is an aside like red chips have you ever
heard the story of how he got the name apocalypto no i assume he was in that movie no it boiled down
to a night where some friends and i were gathered together at my mom's house we were i don't know
teenage we were probably in high school and we were going to play some like poker with no stakes
there was no money involved i just had this cool poker set of like chips and cards i'm like yeah let's just play some cards pointless poker got it so we sat around a table i divvied up
chips everyone had the same amount i forget how many different colors of chips there were like
four or four whatever the standard thing is it was a standard like poker set usually four colors
and we play i deal out the first bit of cards we're playing standard texas hold'em whatever
first round nobody really has anything everyone puts in like the least amount of cards we're playing standard texas hold'em whatever first round nobody really
has anything everyone puts in like the least amount of money to bet no one does any raising
or whatever it's more so just like two and a jack yeah just gonna call i guess let's see if the
river the flop the river the turn let's see what i get from this i said that out of order i'm sorry
bet all red chips somebody won the rest of us lost. Whatever. Next hand.
Oh man. Don't really like my cards. I got like a three and a nine. Can't get it really straight.
They're different suits. I guess I'll just play to see what turns over. Maybe I'll get a pair of three of a kind or something. Nothing. Guess I'll fold. Everyone else kind of felt the same way.
At this point, Tyler stood up and said, this is stupid stupid nobody's even bet anything besides stupid red chips i don't
even want to play anymore and he just like walked out and we were like okay apocalypto it's not the
end of the world we played two hands of poker before tyler rage quit and his reason he was
upset was because no one bet a chip that was a different color than red he wanted people to like go all in on the second
hand he was very upset it was i was i gotta say the story i was really waiting for there to be a
moment where you were like we were playing poker and tyler was like what do you guys think the
apocalypse apocalypse what's that called the end of the world the apocalypto
everyone's like you don't know the word
apocalypse we called him that just out of like frustration for what we perceived as overreacting
to not wide enough color betting variety in the first two or three it might have been three hands
isn't this just white red and blue chips i remember sometimes there's green with you guys were there green i don't even think there were green chips were there i've had four
color sets of chips but you know like red was the lowest amount it was like 50 or whatever and then
it was like 105 whatever the numbers were but no one wanted to bet their chips on like a offsuit
two jack and nobody had anything and the rip like nobody the thing that won those first two rounds
was like oh i had an ace high or i had a pair of twos it was really not that interesting but tyler
wanted there to be like river card world series of poker finals table like levels of drama in the
first few hands he wanted to see three stacks of red chips. I want to put $500 of blue
chips in. No money behind this, mind
you, but he just did not
like the fact that people weren't bluffing in the
first two hands of the game. We
played for all of 10 minutes
after 20-30 minutes of setup
before Tyler was done for the night.
And we called him Apocalypto because
it felt like the apocalypse was coming
over betting some red chips. That it that's the story i appreciate that there's a motivation for
the name i just i was really hoping there'd be more of an explanation i wonder if he'll have
more to add that he remembers that's how i remember it is apocalypto a word is that like
a term that you call someone that or someone just literally was like he's a real apocalypto i think
someone it might be a word but i think someone just called him that i don't remember who it was
i can't take credit someone said okay apocalypto wow that's it that's the story if you want more
stories about why tyler's named what he's named you should listen to go my favorite sports team
the top sports not sports podcast on the sports podcast charts hell yeah
the masters of balls and sticks or balls and holes or other things and also mark is there
dude they're master of anything a moment that still lives aren't free in my head i think i've
talked about on the show before is literally whenever tyler was reading and he finishes
reading this excerpt and mark's like well that's kind's kind of sad. And Tyler's like, dude, it's a eulogy.
That's a sad poem.
No, you gotta understand.
It was the funniest poem.
It was so goddamn funny what he was reading.
And then it ended all sad.
And I was like, oh man, it was so funny.
Why did it have to end depressing?
And he was like, dude, it's a eulogy.
So yeah, no, it did end sad, but I realized why.
That is live right free in my head.
Go ahead.
Did you know it was a eulogy?
No.
And you just wished it had been.
Oh, okay.
I was sort of hoping Tyler was like, here, can I read you guys this eulogy?
And it got to the end and you were just like ah bummer you suck more jokes of course I have to die at the end what
kind of story is this yeah that's that is mostly my uh contribution to the show is very much just
like oh man that is just stupid it was a beautiful moment that i very much enjoyed and
it's just lived right free in my head ever since but anyway to get back to the topic at hand i'm
gonna read you all just a shit ton of statistics about something real quick it's gonna prove a
very mundane point okay okay i'm excited tyler i'm sorry i'm probably stealing something from
go my favorite sports team but you can you can steal it back from me all. There's this huge debate between who's the greatest of all time in the
NBA. And everyone always is like, it's LeBron. It's Michael Jordan. And some other people have
other opinions, but those are the two that get like most of the praise. All right. Michael Jordan
made six finals. He won all six. LeBron's made the finals 10 times. This is before the NBA's
playoffs are done for 2023,
2024, or whatever this year is. So mind you, he's playing right now in the playoffs as we're
recording this. He might've won another one, lost another one. I don't know. I'm excluding that.
He's been there 10 times, but only won four, but he made it four more times. He's won 41 playoff
series. I think 42 as of now, I think Jordan had won 30 series. LeBron is 42 and 22
in conference finals games. Michael Jordan's 29 and 16. Michael Jordan missed the playoffs two
times. Didn't make the playoffs at all seven times in his career. LeBron missed the playoffs
four times. Fell short of the finals six times. LeBron is 182 96 in the playoffs jordan is 119 and 60 in the playoffs
uh lebron averages 9.1 playoff wins per season 4.8 losses jordan averages 7.9 playoff wins per
season with four losses jordan averages 33.6 points sixounds, 6 assists in finals games. LeBron, 28.4 points, so 5 points less.
10.2 rebounds, so 4 more rebounds.
And 7.8 assists, so about 2 more assists per game.
All of those numbers, to me,
sound like these are two pretty really fucking good players
that have some really good pros and similar stuff.
They're pretty similar.
If you count LeBron's two more assists,
every assist is at least two more points, right?
So that's four more points he's responsible for,
which only puts them one point apart,
but LeBron also averages four more rebounds.
To me, all of these fucking numbers go to show me
that these guys are really good,
but we are obsessed with the society as comparing them.
Who is the best
and i've got i've got the numbers here so if you guys have questions feel free to ask
but being as we're talking about good my favorite sports team i figured the first debate we would
talk about is this lebron is a 6 to 24 and then mike jordan was less had four you know what i
think i got the numbers internalized i'm with you i'm with you uh look this this whole thing to me i would cut this off i would nip this at the bud because it's really
stupid to talk about who gets to be considered in the grace of all time when one of them is still
playing the game i understand that lebron is accomplishments that uh potentially exceed or
at the very least are comparable in competitive in terms of like
statistical analysis with mj mj retired what in like 98 or something he's been retired season i
think and then he came back for the 98 season or something like that and then he played baseball
or i don't remember but like he's been he's been retired for a couple decades he ain't dead he's
still around and he needs interviews and stuff but his career is over he's been he's been retired for a couple decades he ain't dead he's still around and he
interviews and stuff but his career is over he's not doing any more basketball stuff so you could
look at it and be like this is what he did so he's at least in the top lebron's not done i know he's
getting older he's it feels like he's been playing basketball my whole life because he's been in the
league since i can really remember it 20 seasons this is his 20th season. Jordan played 15.
This is the 20th for LeBron.
LeBron's not done.
So it's really not.
It doesn't matter if you want to talk about it.
You wait till he's retired and talk about all the old retired guys whose numbers are
all set and who will never accomplish another thing.
And then you could be like, oh, well, he's clearly he's better at this than this.
But LeBron had more of these and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Clearly, I'm not super invested in basketball.
I don't know anything about NBA.
I'm not either.
I literally Google all this right before the recording.
It seems really stupid to me to talk about anyone who's currently playing
in any sort of sport or competition or whatever and be like,
they are the greatest of all time that has ever had been.
They are still having been.
They are being right now.
They're not the greatest of anything yet.
They're becoming the greatest, and when they retire,
then they could be the greatest.
That seems like the end of it to me,
but sports people are ridiculous.
That's fair.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's all the number focus.
I mean, I've had this debate with Tyler a lot, a lot,
more than I would ever have wanted to do
just because I'm not a sports guy,
but it has come up a few times,
but I think he has a good opinion of it. It's guy but it's uh it has come up a few times but it i think
he has a good opinion of it is just like it's impossible to say who the best is because there
are so many other factors especially in a team-based sport this is and it's something that
i've been convinced like yes it is impossible to say because one person's stats could be inflated
by their team's support of them and therefore it could sway things one or another but i i agree it's
like the debate is silly because yeah they're not done they could just i don't know i have no idea
sports people's obsession with talking about who the goat is in any context and but also them
constantly conflating people from different eras of sports where like, I know more about hockey, right? We're in an era of
hockey right now where goaltending is
very good. There's high skill
goalies. They save a lot of pucks.
Like, mid 90%
save percentage is like a good
achievable percentage. There was a long
time where goalies kind of just stood there
and when the puck got shot at them,
they were like, whoa! And if it
went in, it went in it went in and like
that was it that's you know in the era when gretzky scored his his tons and tons and tons of goals
goaltending was not the same as it is now that doesn't mean that gretzky is not the great one
of hockey the greatest of all time who holds so many records by such a wide margin that he's still
like hard to reach people are not going to touch his records for quite a while.
Some of them anyway, but it's completely different.
It's like he was playing a slightly different sport.
And it's like that with all sports like basketball.
When Jordan played, it's not the same as it is now.
Guys are different sizes, different.
There's different strategies.
I don't know basketball, but like it's different.
It seems stupid to try and compare someone who played decades ago
to someone who's playing now and say it's exactly the same sport.
LeBron is just better, clearly.
Or maybe LeBron plays in an era where, you know, rebounds are way more meaningful than points.
And so maybe he scores less points than Michael, but he gets way more rebounds or whatever.
Like, again, I don't know the actual numbers, but it's just different.
Everything is different.
The stats mean different things.
The numbers are not unequivocally valuable.
One point is not equal to one
point if they're 50 years apart in the
same sport. Sports people are ridiculous, though.
They'll argue until they're literally
hoarse and sick and they hate each other
and they storm off screaming.
It's nasty. And it's like, you're both
wrong, I guess. I don't know. You're both right.
Who cares? Aren't we
just out here because we like sports?
Can't we just watch the Super Bowl and not talk about
Tom Brady if he's the greatest of all time?
If there's one thing I've learned,
that is not how it goes.
It's not about that.
It just ain't, is it? Don't even
try to make it just about that. It's not.
So all those sports fans who
listen to this podcast, I guess
what I'm saying is you're stupid.
You heard it here first, everybody.
You're dumb.
Breaking news.
Bob, 16 points for being so brave.
How could I say something so brave but so true?
I don't know.
Can't believe you.
Can't believe you and how right you are.
One that hits closer to home for us three and some other ohio cincinnati residents gold star
and skyline chili oh they are direct competitors but if you like gold star and you're talking to
a skyline person you are getting that judgmental face a lot of people are like well most people
know of skyline skyline is the one that's more known, more recognizable, I guess,
like we talk about more.
Because it's better.
But Gold Star, I like both.
Because it's better.
But that's the reaction you get.
It's like, Gold Star or Skyline?
Dude, Skyline.
I don't want to walk right into this.
I don't want to be an open play.
No, no.
Make a bold claim.
Do it.
No.
God.
Yes.
Do it.
Take your ground. I gold star wow and i thought we
were friends that's wild i like i like both pretty evenly bob's uh skyline marks a gold star there's
one reason because you could you could talk about like the the chili differences and whatever and
that doesn't really matter because when i when i'm there it's about the experience of being at the restaurant but it doesn't boil down the
customer service is the same the difference is the hot sauce provided literally that's the only
reason i prefer gold star because when i go to gold star and i'm not ordering takeout or whatever
from either one it doesn't matter because i have frank's red hot at home gold star has frank's red hot there and it's my preferred hot sauce
and that's it that's my not sponsored but we could be mark puts that i don't everything
it's because like skyline has tabasco style hot sauce where it's mostly vinegar and it's mostly
like watery i'm not saying there's a huge difference between them. There is a difference. Molly loves Skyline Hot Sauce
by the way.
It's so watery.
It's so watery.
Because it mixes in, Mark. It's not supposed to be
its own thing. It adds
to the flavor. It doesn't try and...
No.
To me, the difference...
The difference to me... Obviously the chili's
different. I like both.
If I'm going to get spaghetti, chili, and cheese,
which is called a three-way here in Cincinnati.
No joke, it's called a three-way.
If I'm going to get a three-way, I prefer Skyline.
If I'm going to get chili cheese fries, I prefer Gold Star,
and I like Coney's from both.
And the reason I prefer Gold Star's chili cheese fries is because they use crinkle-cut fries that stay crispy longer
than the shoestring-like fries Skyline uses.
It's true.
Skyline's fries just get soggy fast. Gold Star's stay crispy longer. the like the shoestring like fries skyline uses it's true skyline's fries just get soggy fast gold star stay crispy longer that's the difference to me
but i like both i enjoy both if someone's like let's go to x you know names one i'm like i'm
happy to go but here in cincinnati like or between you two you see it's like dude skyline's the best
obviously no dude i prefer gold star what can i can i just
say this uh these are these are the these are the big franchises right this is the coke and pepsi of
of cincinnati chili restaurant these are the two that are talked about anyone anyone who is an
actual connoisseur who lives in cincinnati knows blue ash chili chili know is actually better than either skyline or gold scar
gold star and also camp washington chili is an underrated local place that is on the level i
would say with blue ash both of those are good superior like coney three-way type places can i
make an admission i've never had either one i've never had either of those either you have to go
to them right they're not like skyline and gold star have restaurants all around cincinnati and in ohio and in the whole region
you have to go to blue ash you have to go to camp washington to get those those are like local
joints so it's a different discussion but i would highly recommend it i really like camp washington
myself i would say a lot of people i know prefer blue ash and i think blue ash chili is like the
best cincinnati chili place but yeah i know i this is one too where i feel really strongly
but i also don't i'm not gonna i'm not gonna get mad if someone likes gold star i just if i was
gonna choose i would choose to go to skyline but it's like you said like gold stars fries are way
better that's the thing i used to get. Because I went to the University of Cincinnati.
In my opinion.
As we all did.
There was a Gold Star in the student center at UC.
Best chili cheese fries.
I had them a ton.
That was one of my favorite things.
If I needed food and I was on campus and I didn't think ahead to pack lunch,
cheese fries, Gold Star chili, boom.
Best, favorite, delicious.
I'd never really had Gold Star.
My family always goes to Skyline. And so whenever I was going to uc there wasn't one on campus there
was only the gold star so it was like well i guess i'll try it and i was like this is really good
and yeah it was a very frequent lunch because i would go get an order of chili cheese fries from
gold star like work on school work whatever sit there i forget what the building was called but
yeah we'd go there and eat chili cheese t TUC. Tangeman University Center or something like that.
But in the spirit of this episode, and I think this is what you were going for, Wade, let
me just hang on.
I can't believe that you prefer Gold Star over Skyline, Mark.
I think you're a coward.
I think if you need to have Frank's Red Hot Hot Sauce to enjoy something,
then what you actually like is hot sauce
and you're not even judging it based on the chili,
which is what the restaurants are
named for. You fucking idiot!
You don't even know what
good chili is.
Skyline Chili is an embarrassment
to chili nationwide. People mock
it mercilessly. At least
Gold Star has some substance in their chili
and not pure goat feces or whatever the hell they put in there gold star has more weird shit
they have more cinnamon they put chocolate in their chili that's messed up as far as i know
skyline only maybe does that they probably do it's probably i'm sorry you never heard of a mole
yeah no is that what you were going for Wade
is that the vibe
not really
but you know Bob very brief
I'll give you 16 points for so brief
Mark I was going to give you points until you just like
for some reason the moment you said
something about Skyline not being good
it like stabbed me in the heart a bit
because I actually
come here and try it so much
like i'm used to people shitting on gold star because it does get shit on more often even
though i like it i'm just used to hearing that but hearing someone say something negative about
skyline i feel like i've got to defend because it's like that's why i tell people to come to
cincinnati you can't be mean to it i love it can i say listen can i say i was born in michigan right i was born in pontiac a lot of
my family's in the detroit michigan area and i i like skyline now but when i was a kid my family
mocked skyline because we had a skyline near us and and real coney island chili cheese conies
from a from a michigan like from a detroit coney island are a whole other kind of
food it's the same basic food but it's real chili with like beans and shit in it and uh chunky
chili that real coney island conies are kind of better than skyline like i like don't always i'm
sure you two know this but not everyone knows that you can add beans and onions to skyline
and gold star chili i think gold star you can but but that's weird that's not they don't ask you that when you order coney's you say i want a
cheese coney and they're like do you want mustard and onions and you say yes or no to that but then
they're not like and you want i think on a coney you can put it but like if you order it if you
order a five way instead of a three way if you order a five way you're getting beans and onion
if you order a four way you choose beans or onion but it's always chili cheese spaghetti or whatever but i think on a coney you could probably do that too right
i'm sure they would put beans on a coney if you wanted that would just be
ridiculous i mean i guess onions already come on a coney so you just add beans what would that be
a five-way coney put some spaghetti on that bitch too make it a whole pile somebody other day
thought that i mentioned a cheese cone and they were like you put spaghetti on a hot dog
no you could but no what you do is you wrap the hot dog in spaghetti and then you deep fry it
and it's like a crunchy spaghetti dog and then you put chili beans yeah no i i don't i don't
think they would do that the restaurant i gotta be honest i think
skyline might be offended if you tried to order that they'd be confused people get really worked
up about this i have to agree that's another one where i i don't get the food it's all yeah sports
consoles playstation there's a correct answer to this one there is there's a correct answer to this one i i will take whatever bob's opposite opinion
all right i have a strong opinion i actually do have a strong opinion about this
and for one reason and on one specific narrow part of it i think i know what it is
and i think you do know what it is because i talk about this a lot the xbox controller scheme is the correct controller scheme i hate it you do you
know why every third-party controller looks like an xbox controller this is a nintendo switch uh
third-party pro controller i grew up with this i love love it. I need it. You know why they all look like Xbox controllers and not like DualShock piece of shit.
Whoa, I knocked over my Nintendo Switch really aggressively there.
Because people's thumbs can't be in the same spot.
Because you don't play a game like that.
Because this is an inferior design.
Yes, you don't.
Look, I have big hands.
And so this is the first DualShock controller
where I use this, and it's comfortable because it's big enough.
But the joysticks, the two joysticks in the center,
is just objectively wrong.
There are some third-party controllers that mimic this
only because they're PlayStation controllers.
Keep going, Bob. I got to go get some.
Okay, do it.
But all of the third party
controllers that are in any way good or uh in any way popular look like an xbox controller because
this is more comfortable why would you want your thumb that controls your character's movement
to be all crooked and sideways honest to god it doesn't make sense wade i grew up playing
playstation i respect that and i remember when
they first added analog because the first playstation controllers didn't have those at all
it was i don't i forget that it was just the d-pad and the buttons there were none of these
i think there were still buttons on the front but i think they were almost evenly sized they
weren't like the yeah there were there were like two bumper style buttons yeah playing my original
twist the metal 2 you drove around with this.
You held X to go, I think, and you drove with just these.
And that's how you played.
And I think PlayStation 2 introduced the analog controllers.
There was actually a PSX controller, I think, that had analog.
But PS2 was the first DualShock that launched with the console that had analog on it.
I think there are PS1 analog controllers as well, I think.
But I think for me, because I just grew up with PlayStation, I had analog on it. I think there are PS1 analog controllers as well. I think. But I think for me,
because I just grew up with PlayStation, I had the PlayStation 1
and then when PlayStation 2 came
out, I was like, oh, I want, I don't remember
what generation did the first Xbox come out? Was that PS2
or PS3? The Xbox
came out in the same generation as the
GameCube, which was the same generation
as the PS2.
I think that's right. So
I'd already been familiar
with PlayStation.
I believe on PlayStation 2
that's where Twisted Metal Black
was going to be coming out
or one of the Twisted Metals
was coming out on PlayStation 2
and I was in love
with that franchise.
So I was leaning
toward PlayStation already
because one,
I'd played it and two,
that's where that game
was coming out.
But there's also
that ingrained,
like the whole point
of this episode
is not for us to fight
over who wins and who's right
I'll kill you. I'm about to fight. Okay. Okay, go for it mark fight. Uh, so but
The parent I was
Okay, well, yeah you finish okay. Oh you finish okay finish
It's more so the fact that I was just used to it comfortable with it
Then after playing three generations of PlayStation consoles,
I was used to those two analogs being side by side.
I remember playing Call of Duty, and I used to care a lot about it.
I was very into it.
I had like a 1.3, 1.4 kill-death ratio.
I was very proud of that.
I forget which Call of Duty it was.
And, you know, maybe that's not the best in the world,
but I was proud of it for me.
I had a couple matches, whichever Call of Duty it was that had the map's jungle and firing range.
I had two matches where I had 40 plus kills and zero deaths, and I was just so proud of myself for those runs.
And then my buddy got an Xbox, and he invited me over to play that same Call of Duty, but on Xbox.
So I went over there and I played it.
Call of Duty but on Xbox.
So I went over there and I played it.
And I was at like a.73 kill death ratio because I could not
get my brain to quickly map
over to using an Xbox controller.
Everything felt alien.
It's not that different. And I just felt terrible.
It was literally almost half.
Your phone just gets to be comfortable on an Xbox
controller. That's the only difference.
It's more ergonomic. I went from
almost a 3 to, what is it? 1.5 kill death. I think you just need to get good. I think that's the only difference it's more ergonomic i went from almost a three to what is it a 1.5
i think you just need to get good i think that's the problem you're just that is your salty mad
boy but seeing that difference in production and just feeling like i was like i don't know what
i'm doing like i felt horrible i never wanted to play on an xbox again and i'd like i had this like
mental barrier against them for a very long time because i was like dude i cannot even start to fathom why someone would prefer this this is terrible because i was just used
to the playstation weight is full of bad opinions on playstation things mark what do you have here
comes an even worse opinion that you both are going to disagree with oh god my favorite controller
of all time even though i agree with bob Bob that the Xbox controller is like a great layout.
My favorite controller of all time.
The Stadia controller.
I knew Stadia was going to come into this somehow.
The Stadia, I still use it even though Stadia was discontinued.
Because the weight of it feels wonderful in the hand.
The buttons aren't like with PlayStation where they're all soft and mushy.
They've got good clicking and tactile feel to them.
It is in the double bottom orientation, which is not my preferred orientation,
but because of the way the controller is shaped
versus the PlayStation's boomerang configuration, it feels great in the hand. It's just wonderful.
It clicks, it clacks. It's just got such good functionality. If only people gave Stadia a
chance, and if Google didn't quit, there was a chance chance but people didn't even give it a chance
Stadia could have made something
I think
I
completely share your opinion
that the build quality and the buttons
and everything on the Stadia controller were very
satisfying were
past tense because it's dead now
but I
it's inescapable that you you just think
that because you're a huge stadia fan boy you're never gonna let it go yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry
i am a fan is that so wrong i'm not gonna gloat about it because it is actually dead now and i
don't yeah i don't need to gloat because clearly i was right. But, um... That's so
bold, Bob. 16 points.
But the Stadia... If the Stadia controller
had the correct joystick
configuration, that would be a strong
competitor for my favorite of all time
as well because it is...
The buttons and everything are nice.
They're very satisfying
in a way that
the PlayStation controller is not.'re very mushy you're right
there's only one scenario that I like
this configuration more is platformers
because like 2D side scrolling platformers
because these are in line and I like to use
the D-pad versus this
for platformers it's more precise in my opinion
and I do in Stadia I did play
a lot of platformers and whenever I need to play
a platformer I grab this controller
and plug it into my computer except the buttons are so mushy you'll never be able to tell if
you're doing a jump and put on the correct frame or not he doesn't even have an answer he's just
gonna ignore us i don't feel mushy it's just a flatter this button feels flatter than like the
xbox button there doesn't feel mushy it's it my thing with stad stadium is like yes of course there was latency it's beaming the
game from across the city and it's still perfectly playable yeah okay no well we know mark i'm very
sorry that your friend died i'm it's my apologies thank you thank you condolences why does it have
to end so sad what kind of poem is this i see what you did there thank you very good thank you thank you condolences why does it only have to end so sad what kind of poem is this i see what you did there thank you good thank you um yeah but no okay so well so we have
strong opinions about the controllers and i respect that even though it makes me want to
uh it fills me with rage and i hate you now uh but can i just say the the idea of the console wars more broadly is one where we are today in
gaming really stupid there are clear winners and losers i feel like all the three main console
companies have very much established their place in the world and i don't think that's going to
change in a meaningful way anytime soon but also it was always stupid i just like if you want to say that you prefer the exclusives that
sony had over the exclusives that microsoft had during the heyday of the console wars i think
that's pretty fair i think sony had some real bangers i do think the fable series as a microsoft
exclusive was very underrated i do think halo dominated the market early but faded pretty hard
after the original four or five games in that franchise
came out and people kind of got over it but exclusives are exclusives there's exclusive
shit everywhere there are even games that are on pc the least exclusive platform but they're on epic
games exclusively and that means you have to interface with the epic game store which is just
just really mediocre and not getting any better or different at all as far as i can tell
it's i mean you can spend money on it and you can download games on it but why isn't it
just steam like at least for the love of god copy steam like jesus christ steam clearly has
established the baseline everyone expects steam to be the gold standard even if steam has its
issues which it does we all know it does everyone expects that and why is epic games so different from steam it's just annoying because
everyone expects it anyway but the actual idea that sony is better than microsoft or vice versa
that whole thing that's the most tiresome exhausting shit i've ever seen on the internet
what is people's problem with that unless you're talking about the controllers get out of my face
with that energy but the controllers i will fight you to the death about as i've gotten older like i feel this way about sports teams too i'm a
bengals fan i love the bengals to death i followed them i've gone to games i watched them i've dealt
with the heartbreak my entire life finally the last couple of years we've had some good success
we still have never won a super bowl almost and believe me all of my friends are of course they're
either patriots fans or Steelers fans.
Their team has Super Bowl wins.
And no matter how good the Bengals are,
they always, at the end of the year, I'm like,
well, hey, we at least made the Super Bowl this year.
How many rings do you have?
Count my rings.
I've got zero because I'm just a fan.
But count them.
There's more than your whole franchise.
Every time.
And what I have come to realize
in the last few years is that
we are all stupid who are
big sports fanatics, because ultimately
we're spending money and
cheering for people we don't know
to go play a game against each other
that the result has literally zero
impact on our lives, but we act
like would be the most crazy, amazing thing to watch our team win.
And then like the next year, you're like, yeah, we won last year,
but that's how everyone seems to be.
It's like, well, yeah, we won last year, but can we do it again?
Like you guys just won a championship.
Is your whole life not different?
Do you not have like six yachts now?
You're married to six models because your team won?
Your life's the same?
That's crazy.
I can't believe we hate each other because you're a Steelers fan and I'm a Bengals fan
or vice versa, whatever.
It's the dumbest thing.
It's so dumb.
What I'm hearing is that you're not a sports fan, Wade.
Yeah, exactly.
I've lost my rabidness.
I got my rabies shot.
Now all of a sudden I've lost my sports fanaticism.
I do love because I think in that moment we just found Wade's mocking voice.
Because like, Bob, you have yours.
And then Wade, you just discovered your true hilarious.
Wings.
Oh, you beat us in one game.
Tom Brady has 37 championships.
Goddamn, Tom Brady has how many championships? I don't't even know i don't even know how many it is now seven ten i actually don't know anymore that no that is
an important and beautiful discovery and thank you for pointing it out mark because that is a
true breakthrough didn't realize that was a thing i hope it stays i hope i remember it well you know
i i have i have such an iconic mocking voice.
We've just been waiting.
Mark, what's your voice?
Is it just the same one as mine?
I don't know.
I haven't found it yet.
Someday I will.
We need to talk about something that you feel as strongly about as Wade feels about sports
and give you the chance to just completely, sincerely mock some person unabashedly.
What do people who shit on Stadia
sound like to you?
All those people that hated Stadia for so
long, Mark. How do you feel about them?
What do they always say to you, Mark?
They were right.
He's not going to mock them.
He's just defeated.
That was just sad. Mark, I'm going to give you
five pity points.
Thank you.
No, they were right about, like, Google canceling it,
but it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Man, all right.
I didn't mean to kick you while you were down.
Jeez, I was just trying to...
All right.
I guess to jump into another one we'll try to talk about the other ones a little bit more briefly TikTok versus Vine versus Snapchat obviously we all know Vine is gone but I feel like a lot of
people shit on Vine while it was around then after it left everyone acts like it was this godly place
that was so much better than TikTok whereas in reality they accomplish pretty similar things
Snapchat you can't I don't know if you can watch Snapchat compilations somewhere
or something like that, but that's what people talk about. I don't know. I've heard that.
Those don't seem connected to me, but. I was looking into it before I did the episode and
I saw people that were like Snapchat versus TikTok. And I was like, are those comparable?
Are there people that are like Snapchat's's better because they seem different to me but tick tock and vine i think are comparable to talk about
even though vine's gone but i feel like when tick tock came out people like the vine people were
like dude they're just vine but worse boo and it's like i watched a compilation of both they're
pretty similar to me i for a while i i don't think it's as the case as much anymore
but for a while tiktok i think caught a lot of shit because it was musically and that became
tiktok i don't remember if they got bought or what but musically was cringy right because it's
basically just lip syncing along to songs like that was the whole thing about musically it became
more of what tiktok is as it like developed but the original idea about musically it became more of what tiktok is as
it like developed but the original idea of musically i did not like i did not appreciate
that it was really cringy it it is sometimes difficult to say what is cringy and what you're
just out of touch with but i think even people that use tiktok to this day can say musically
is a little cringy but for the people that used it they liked it and so who are we to
shit on something that people like yeah i mean i'm definitely not i'm definitely if anyone's out
of touch it's i'm a ripe candidate for that so it might just been not for me but tiktok and snapchat
is that really the one we're going that i those just seem so different it's just snapchat not
they do to me too i don't know snapchat is primarily for like more direct communication
right like you send videos that are in the same style as tiktoks but you send them send them back
and forth to people or like you can post like stories on snapchat i don't know what they're
called i don't use it but they still go away right it's not like you have a page where all of your
snapchats are posted they go away after some amount of time that's the whole thing i thought
snapchat was you take a picture or video of something type a little message and send it to like a person or several people and that was
like yeah there's a whole breadth of video production in snapchat with stories because
people forget snapchat was the first app that offered stories because it fell right in line
with their temporary aspect of things and then every single other social media adopted and copied
over stories for better or for worse uh but at the same time yeah a lot of features i don't use
snapchat i haven't for years but when it comes down to it like yeah there is a very loyal base
of people that are like snapchat oh i love i watch stories on snapchat all the time because
maybe that's what the competition is but it just just that's another I mean Marvel versus DC wait wait
wait wait I was gonna say
something about the Snapchat thing
can I say the one thing that I think Snapchat
ever has to come from Snapchat
that I think is cool and I wish
was still supported because it's been completely
deprecated did you guys ever see
these did you guys ever have these or
see these yeah sunglasses case
I bought this pair of Snapchat Did you guys ever see these? Did you guys ever have these or see these? Yeah! Sunglasses case? I think I have those in the other room.
I bought this pair of Snapchat glasses at Universal Studios Orlando when I was on a family vacation
because they had a vending machine, and I just saw it, and I was like, whoa.
And I saw it, and I went and did some research, and I looked at it, and I was like, wait,
that's actually really sick.
This is a little charging case. It charges on pogo pins and then these glasses have like a little
button and they have this is a camera you could shoot snapchat stories just like wear these like
sunglasses and you could be like oh that's cool boom and like record a video from your first
person perspective i know it was a thing these are super cool and they don't work anymore because
they're not software supported by any software including the current snapchat app coolest thing that snapchat ever did right here
you should make a new version of these that's a little less dweeby looking you put those with
mark stadia controller and you've got a whole bunch of relevant cool stuff this is still useful
i can still use this okay yeah no i still use this controller has has used these i only they sit next to me and i wish
they worked but they are it's a cool it's a little bit feeding into toxic social media and obsessively
sharing every moment of every day but but it's cool like i would do that and i would use them
for my own purposes because i would just take videos and then put them on my you know my home
my what are those fucking things called? Help. Wait a minute.
God damn it. The thing.
It's a screen and there's
pictures on it. Digital photo
frames. Those. I would put it on those.
I'm gonna give you 16 points.
Fuck. Thanks.
Fuck, apparently.
How many points did Mark earn for that?
Hey, look, guys. They're charging. The case
has batteries still. Mark, how many points do you want for that hey look guys they're charging the case the case has batteries still uh mark how many points you want uh 30 all right oh whoa wait wait a minute i didn't realize
hang on well you asked i didn't have an answer so i can't ask mark
but yeah we could sorry i just i just happen to have those well it's we i didn't mean to hijack
the whole thing the last one i'll i mean i've got a whole list here but just to wrap it up marvel versus dc is another one now i know movie
wise in the last 10 20 years marvel's had a lot more success than dc has but the comic books
themselves and growing up like growing up batman and spider-man were like the two big things in my
brain that i remember i had like spider-man toys like watching spider-man on tv batman had like
all kinds of different movies and shows and stuffman on tv batman had like all kinds of
different movies and shows and stuff on there was batman beyond that came out good show there was so
much batman and dc was pretty much like thriving because of it and i loved batman still do but
you know more recent years i mean people now are thinking like oh okay well obviously the
marvel has had so much more cinematic success and some of the dc movies bombed but that's a relatively small time sample compared to like the longevity of how long they've been
around and in my lifetime I've really seen it flip right because like I said I feel like DC was more
well then I think there was like a um X-Men show like a cartoon but I didn't watch that nearly as
much as I watched the Batman shows as a kid so I don't know as much about that or how popular that
was comparatively the X-Men cartoon was really good i didn't watch it too much i didn't realize what you were doing wade for just
it took me a second like where you went like this and i was like what what is this really
yeah i picked up on that later i hope that some people who are watching you want to see me do it
it was just such a random action i didn was totally blown away and thrown off by it.
Just suddenly doing that.
I mean...
I was like, wait, are you alright?
Mark, this is the cool way to wear headphones.
Have you not seen this?
I didn't know that.
This is why you've got to be on Snapchat.
Everyone on Snapchat is sharing that.
With my hair, it doesn't even look like it's off my hair.
So I'm not as cool. You get your prop cigar and yeah he works it into every episode i don't know how he
does it he really needs to get his money out of that cigar i guess i really do i gotta earn it
i was like can i write this off on taxes like it's a toy cigar no and i was like but i use it
do you want the lead on marvel versus d DC Mark do you have strong opinions about this no not really I just I if people are going for a certain faction like I
think they're missing the point and that's what I never really liked about the whole Marvel DC
thing is like why do you need to grab bag all of the universe because there are things in Marvel
that I definitely don't like or there's no reason to like it or whatever it's just like it's so strange to be so incredibly married to one whereas there are heroes from both that are
really appreciable and you don't have to be like there's batman doesn't go around like
little dc for life you know and then spider-man doesn't like i'm glad i'm in marvel you know it's
like it's not can you imagine if they did god that would be so off-putting. I'm an Avenger.
A Marvel Avenger.
I'm a Marvel's Avengers.
I'm a DC Avenger.
I mean, I guess, Bob, if you have a strong opinion, you can jump in, but I do have a
follow-up from Mark.
My take would be, if you want to talk about their media plan over the last couple decades,
yeah, the MCU has been wildly successful.
If you want to talk
about how much of the mcu i have given a shit about because it's so flooded and saturated with
content that it feels like they're just vomiting out an endless stream of meaningless content
that never stops and none of it is very bad but none of it is very good either basically since
marvel phase two i have kind of been like over it and like i
i don't know how people watch 30 marvel movies a year plus six tv shows plus all this like there's
so much shit it's easy to say like yeah dc has really fumbled their you know the the justice
league franchise not so great some of their movie franchises really not so good movies
hit and miss like yeah that has to do with them as a media company and that's like that doesn't
really have to do anything to do with the characters and the universes i'm 100 with mark
but i'm really sick of all of the superhero shit let's come up with a new type of movie and tv show
to put out because holy fuck do i not need to watch another Thor movie where Thor is randomly
friends with some new Avenger now
and it's the 80s. God, I
don't fucking care. Holy crap.
The Guardians of the Galaxy Volume
3 came out. I'm glad it's over.
Jesus Christ.
I don't care that there's hair metal songs
on the soundtrack to your movie.
Stop making them.
God damn. It's a talking raccoon got it very
cool the tree is screwed good it's over now jesus christ so brave 16 points but yeah no i'm just
like they put out so much shit in the in the more recent phases of the marvel cinematic universe
it's like it's just a flood of mediocre stuff is how it feels like none of it's that good they're just
catching in on it fine if you like it it's fine but it's like mark you want 30 more points i'll
take 30 more points mark had said like at the end of his how he really didn't care and didn't think
there was no reason to alienate one versus the other i'm kind of paraphrasing but that was like
the gist of it yeah and that's kind of like the whole point of this episode was not for us to have strong opinions it was to talk about how kind of silly it is to
have strong opinions because i like skyline and gold star i like coke and pepsi depending like
sky if you go to skyline or gold star you're having pepsi with it or pepsi products unless
you get water they only serve that so unless you get skyline to go and have like a coke with it at
home if you want a soda with your chili and you're eating at the restaurant, you're having a Pepsi product.
So I kind of grew up pairing Skyline with Pepsi.
So whenever I have chili, I kind of crave Pepsi because in my brain, that's how I've always paired them.
Whereas at home, I'll buy Coke, vanilla Coke, whatever, but I will drink both.
All of these things we've talked about.
I loved watching Michael Jordan growing up.
I loved watching LeBron.
I think they're both amazing players. Different fast food franchise. We didn't talk
about it, but like McDonald's versus Burger King was a big thing growing up. Wendy's obviously
comes in and like trounces on them in a lot of ways, but people still prefer one of the other
different sports teams, chili places, pizza places, Snapchat, Vine, TikTok, different clothing
companies, shoe companies, Marvel, DCc they can all really be enjoyed and
appreciated the one thing about fantasy football whenever i played fantasy football 20 years ago
that i appreciated was the fact that i started caring about players and teams other than the
bangles because it's like well dude i've got this wide receiver on my team i wanted to see him do
well and it's like wow i'm rooting for this guy who's not on the bangles this has never happened
and then like he would get traded somewhere else and it's like well i, I'm rooting for this guy who's not on the Bengals. This has never happened. And then like he would get traded somewhere else.
And it's like, well, I like that guy.
He helped me win that thing.
And I've also kind of followed his career a little bit.
I know his ups and downs.
Like I've started, I started humanizing the sport for me where it was like, I'm still
a Bengals fan, but I no longer have like a passionate hatred towards like Pittsburgh
or whoever else.
Cause now it's like, now I'm seeing the more, the side that the fact that we've gotten so
rabid that we don't even see the fact that there's people just playing a sport
they love and making a career it was my team you've wins your team sucks you cheaters I hate
you all and a lot of this is just unnecessary competition it's just we've made everything into
a competition that doesn't need to be it's us versus them or me versus you in ways that we
could just be like I just enjoy these things I don't know to me the whole point of this be it's us versus them or me versus you in ways that we could just be like i just enjoy
these things i don't know to me the whole point of this is it's unnecessary we really don't get
anything out of it it's fun to be competitive sometimes but i feel like everything i mean even
politics you name it it's gone everything's competitive and everything's about winning
versus losing and i don't know i i just feel like it's gotten too far to some extent maybe it always
has been but i'm just old enough now to see it for our lifetimes,
and I know our more recent examples.
But at the end of the day, you can enjoy a lot of things that are different,
even if they are competitors with each other.
These brands competing with each other don't mean shit to us on an individual level.
For the majority of us, it's literally just, there is that much more entertainment we can either enjoy,
or not enjoy because it's expensive buying there is that much more entertainment we can either enjoy or not enjoy
because it's expensive buying all these fucking consoles and shit but there's just more variety
of stuff out there to try and enjoy especially with food i guess so not wanting to pick a side
like marvel or dc to me makes more sense nowadays but everyone i don't know i guess i say everyone
very it's a very sweeping generalization but a lot of people seem to be very passionate about
their brand even though their brand doesn't
know they exist and would do nothing for them if given the chance yeah i would do nothing for
anyone man i'm uh i love those guys yeah it's very brave bob 16 points i feel like being brand loyal
to one particular thing excludes you from opening your eyes to so much more it's like the stories
with just sports but also just in terms of like tech and the landscape,
I was forever just like,
I will never do Mac at all.
Cause PC versus Mac is another big thing.
Windows versus Mac specifically.
Oh yeah.
I've got Apple versus Android on here.
Yeah.
But when it comes down to it,
once I got my Mac book,
I appreciated it for what it was.
And it became like a very useful tool for a very specific thing.
It had better battery life.
It had better, especially when the new M chips.
The M1 MacBook has such ridiculous battery life.
The M chips are crazy.
Oh, yeah.
No, my MacBook Pro with like the M2 Max chip, like the best chip it has, can tackle video editing.
It can tackle file management.
It can tackle data transfer.
I have a much better appreciation now, especially than before
for Thunderbolt. Originally, I was like, oh,
screw Thunderbolt. Much I was like, screw Mac.
You mean USB-C? Oh, God,
don't talk to me about USB-C.
I never want to hear you.
30 points for your pain.
Thank you. Everyone knows what
USB-C is, Mark. It's not complicated.
Oh, God, definitely not complicated
at all. It's so ubiquitous. It's ubiqu complicated. Calm down. Oh, God. Definitely not complicated at all. It's so ubiquitous.
It's ubiquitous.
I like your points, guys.
You can make some good points.
All right, wait.
Let's decide the winner of this competition.
Snap, snap.
Come on.
All right.
I'm ready.
Only because I have to.
All right.
I'm tallying the points.
Bob, I gave you 16 points a lot.
I don't know why.
That was just an arbitrary number.
I thought there was going to be some meaning to that but there wasn't no it's sure however
this is a complete coincidence and this was not planned i swear to you no matter what mark i gave
you five points early on for something i don't remember what but then i gave you 30 points three
times there's no way i gave you 30 points three times, and I gave you five points.
Bob, I gave you 16 points however many times.
You guys can do the math at home.
If I am one point...
Are you telling me I'm one point short of Mark if I'm doing the rough math?
I'm telling you you are one point ahead.
It's 96 to 95.
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ.
If you want to accept the results of this, Bob, you won by one point.
Wow.
I mean, whenever I gave the last 30 to Mark there, I saw that it would have gotten to 95,
and I was like, that's kind of funny.
No, listen.
You know what, though?
Wade, your point, your statement, your conclusion at the end of this episode has moved me.
Plus, I'm a stubborn man, and I demand satisfaction.
Don't do this.
I want this episode to be decided by a coin flip.
Bob, I'm running out of ideas.
Mark will call it in the air, and if I lose, I will take a pity victory,
but it will be very unsatisfying.
How about that?
I cannot believe this, man.
I will actually host the next one, but I will take no victory,
but I will host the next one as a form of penance for my stubbornness.
All right.
Well, you're the host.
You don't have to do what I'm saying.
I do because I also have to see this.
I can't lose another one right i i understand that the
the odds don't change that it's fine but like i can't possibly lose another what color bob
make it green okay and mark's calling this in the air yeah mark you call it in the air okay call it
whatever you want and there's just no way that
i'm gonna lose this again you literally don't have to you're winning right now you could take
the win click the button okay i'm gonna click and mark be ready to call it ready three two one
call it tails Colin. Tails. Oh! Oh! He's done it!
Bob wins!
This trick is over!
Fair and square!
Oh, man. Both on points
and the coin.
Double fair.
Double victory. It only
counts once, but whatever.
Bob, do you want to see if you also win
on the wheel?
Yeah, roll it! Keep it rolling!
Let it roll, baby! Bob went on the wheel, too!
Come on!
Can he go three for three?
Wait, wait, wait.
He's three for three!
He's three!
I think he's actually crying.
The purest form of victory that can be achieved
has been achieved.
You broke all the curses.
That's incredible.
I am so proud of you, Bob.
I'll take this loss this loss however today is opposite
day i'm just kidding congratulations you wanted everywhere imaginable and i will not take it from
you no one can no one can No one can take this from me.
I earned this.
I don't know if either of you are ready for this because this doesn't happen anymore.
But Bob, do you have a winner's speech?
I do.
You know what?
Your theme of today's episode was grandiose and perhaps ahead of its time.
Some may say you were a fool for even thinking such things.
But I think you
were right. I gave up on the notion of winning and competing and making it all about me versus you,
and I embraced chaos and luck, and I was rewarded by finally having all the curses that have been
laid upon me thrown aside and broken to pieces. I am a free man.
I claim this victory in the name of fairness and peace among friends. And I just want to say thank
you to everyone and especially whoever coded that website that flips the coin. Thank you for making
sure I finally won one. So Wade and mark don't have to keep hosting
and burning through their ever shortening list of of episode ideas that i'm sure they really wish
they had a lot more of none of the episodes using that coin have come out yet so they have no idea
we even use their website for the coin because we recorded both of those today oh well then god just
wanted me to win that was just just, I just deserve it then.
Anyway, I love you guys, and I feel better.
That weight has been lifted, and I feel like a new man.
I'm relieved but also disappointed because it was one of the best, funniest things that has happened on this show in a long time.
However, you deserve to have a break from that losing streak.
No one will ever believe that wasn't just a straight- there will always be someone some conspiracy theorist who will think
that we staged this we did not stage a single flip a single spin not one the last time i
legitimately and fairly won an episode of this podcast was on april 24th 2023 when i won the riddles and rhymes episode
where i was the only competitor it has been a while what did you have prior to that the one
the last win i had before that was on april 17th the million dollars but episode hosted by mark i
won that one so april 17th when does this one air that we just recorded? Do we know? 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 episodes later, I have finally won.
That is an entire month of two episodes a week, plus a few that I did not successfully
win an episode of this podcast.
I thought I had a really long streak before, but mine was a really long streak time wise because you only do one episode a week yours was i think longer and it was during the two
episode a week time period this has been unparalleled on our show but it's finally over
i truly am the goat of losing episodes yes but not anymore now one of us will be mark what's
your loser speech speaking of losing thank goodness
i was really running out of ideas uh to come into a new episode man we've hosted a lot yeah so i'm
glad to be off the chopping block for a bit and i can't wait to see how fair and if definitely bob
won't make himself win again i hope bob wins his own episode. We both need some time off, man. Just wait and see.
You'll see how fair it is.
It'll be the most fair.
I don't like the way he's saying that, but
don't even worry about it. It's very fair.
I accept this loss graciously
with lots of grace and graciousness.
Good episode, boys.
I can't believe it was one point apart
and you still wanted the coin flip, but I'm glad
the fate smiled upon you today.
The wheel too.
Both of those had never really gone your way.
I feel very vindicated.
I was very lucky that that happened and I could have thrown it all away once again,
like an idiot, but I feel very satisfied.
What a big catharsis.
I'm good.
I'm happy.
I'm excited.
Yeah, and I cannot honestly reiterate enough.
None of this was staged every coin flip was the only
attempt for each particular one
it wasn't like we were like
just flip it till he loses
no it was all legitimate
and the statistic
I don't even know what the odds are
of it happening the way it did
we don't need to explain how much of a loser
I am anymore. God, fate hated you
for a long time. It's okay.
Yep, no.
Never seen worse luck in my life.
Well,
now that it's broken, I should definitely
place a very large bet on
something or buy a lottery ticket or whatever.
Yes, lose everything on a different bet.
I'm a lucky man now. I have the luck.
So I'll look forward to that.
Next episode, I'll tell you how I won.
And for all of you at home,
you can watch Bob's other bad luck at MySkirm on Twitch and YouTube.
You can find Mark at Markiplier.
I'm Wade.
You can find me at LordMinion777 or Minion777.
We have merch for the podcast that hopefully is restocked.
Oh, it's definitely by this point in time.
It must be restocked.
Store.destructfulpulqueus.com.
I don't know what happened to me there, but that's the website.
Look forward to the next episode where Bob will legitimately host for the first time in a month.
Stay tuned for that.
Congrats again.
Until next time, podcast out.