Distractible - I'm Better

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Xbox vs Playstation, LeBron vs Jordan, Skyline vs Gold Star... A lot of times, strong opinions can be silly, no matter how competitive or passionate people get about them. Learn more about your ad cho...ices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:31 This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH- ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today good evening gentle listener and welcome to distract This week, the gents discuss the competitive nature of mankind. Magnificent Mark laughs at what turns out to be a eulogy.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Meek Goat Bob declares the age of hockey and refuses to compare an active player. And Winsome Wade dishes the dirt on Tyler's apocalypto tag. From LeBron James' record to D-buttons on the PS controller, yes, it's time for I'm Better. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm your host, because Bob couldn't take the win. My name is Wade.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Hello. What's up, Bob? You can be gracious about it. I'm fine. It's fine, I'm fine. It's good. I'm happy for you. Good job.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I mean, how else do I describe it other than like you were literally handed a win and said no, please flip a coin. Bob has such a strong interest in fairness that he felt like he didn't want Wade to feel cheated in an episode where clearly Mark had plans and designs from the beginning. Fair though it may have been, I didn't want you to feel like you were robbed
Starting point is 00:02:17 of any extraordinary fairness in your favor, but not in your favor because it was fair. Theoretically, the subreddit can have no objections. Literally, I'm telling them, literally there's nothing to be upset about. You cannot say that it's not fair, subreddit. To be
Starting point is 00:02:36 completely fair though, at the end of an episode Mark hosted, I won, and I tried to cheat and give you a win, and even in whatever I hosted, I forced you to host the episode. Like we both tried to cheat to help you win. And even we can't stop you from cheating is not,
Starting point is 00:02:55 no one prospers when we cheat. Okay. Cheating is not how you get ahead in life. You have to work hard and really just be persistent and, and do your best best and the good guys will win in the end and with the meek shall inherit the earth and that's i'm the meek baby meek means loses a lot i went to cheat code central or cheat code planet cheat cc.com look for distractible game shark codes and even after trying to find those i couldn't help you
Starting point is 00:03:23 win bob do you guys remember those websites by the way those are kind of that's a really niche reference i mean yeah i used to go because you go look up like inputs or whatever for you know how do you where what's it where's the cheat screen and what's the input oh how to play as minion and twisted metal 2 or game shark codes i didn't have a game shark for a while so i always looked at those and like longingly and i was like oh man i could play as dark tooth if i had a game shark but i don't did you know they're making a a twisted metal movie i saw i heard rumors will it be good no there's no way that it could be good will it inspire another game oh yeah i could would it be good all, I'm glad you feel about those things.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I think it would work as a mobile game. I think there's a world where if you put together a twisted metal mobile game. Now, I've never played it before, but if it was some kind of like endless car driving runner. That's terrible. What do you mean? I'm sorry. I can't sit here and allow you to tell me that one of my childhood favorites belongs in like a gotcha mobile game. Mark is right.
Starting point is 00:04:28 It's a mobile game. What you do is you take Temple Run. You take Temple Run. You replace the guy with a model of Minion. And you replace a temple with a road. And you call it Minion Run. You have to have cheats to get minion you have to be like warthog or sweet okay whatever who cares i don't know anything about
Starting point is 00:04:49 this yeah just because you only play gotcha style shitty mobile games doesn't mean that good mobile games can't possibly exist it's just another planet hair and risk dude risk on mobile is actually pretty fun it's pretty fun it's actually that's pretty fun i mean a lot of people don't like it but the diablo mobile game hat was a pretty authentic experience to diablo even though it was filled with microtransactions if you can ignore the microtransactions and don't get sucked in if you just want to run around and do diablo things it's pretty fun it was yeah i would agree it just got to a certain point where it's like man i sure need to have some upgraded gems what are the odds of getting one ah a hundred thousand dollars worth
Starting point is 00:05:29 of chances yeah well just because you think uh twisted metal is such a terrible game that it can't possibly be adapted in a good way doesn't mean that it's a bad game or it couldn't happen my entire name is built on the foundation of stealing from them welcome to the show everybody i'm disappointed in you where one of us hosts the other two compete for points and obviously you know our relationship by this point i'm legally obligated to care about how you guys are doing today how are you oh good that's great gleefully awaiting the delivery of my quad lock phone case yes i may have already ordered one in the interstitial in the time in between we may have recorded these episodes on the same day and i may have ordered one in between the sessions well what do what do you mean? I'm wearing a whole new outfit today. It's a different...
Starting point is 00:06:25 You can tell I got my hair cut. Yeah. See, I got my hair cut. Sure. Death in just two shirts. I'm great. I'm doing real good. That's great.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I am wrestling with technology, which is a perpetual state of being in my life. So what are you wrestling with, may we ask? Man, I don't want to get into it. So I got that enclosure for the hard drive array so i can copy over the files and i quickly set it up and then it wasn't working and then i came in i dragged the whole enclosure over here and then i was like why isn't it working and then i was like oh i need to upgrade the software license for the raid software
Starting point is 00:06:59 and i dragged it back over to my laptop and i was like okay get going i think it's working and it's transferring but i don't even think it's transferring. It pulls me. It's just like, and then I'm going to have to go over there. I'll be like, well, I probably got to stop this because it said three days to transfer it all. I'm like, oh, my God. Wait, your new hard drive enclosure plays Raid Shadow Legends? No.
Starting point is 00:07:20 That would make a great not mobile game. That would make a great immobile game. I think they have a PC version of that. I'm pretty sure. I like great. Actually, if I'm playing raid, that's what we should call PC games. Immobile games. Immobile games.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yeah, you're right. You're right. Very right. You are. Well, that sounds fun, Mark. Seems like you're doing good, too. Yeah, I'd agree. I don't want to talk about anything.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Can I go home? You are home. No, you are home. This is't want to talk about anything. Can I go home? You are home. No, you are home. This is where you live. No, shh. Oh, I mean, this podcast is where you live. In a room? I assume you're in a building.
Starting point is 00:07:54 You could live there. No, no. Are you in a room that's not enclosed by a building? Are you moments, inches away from nature encroaching upon you? I don't know where I am. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that Wade can't possibly make me lose, away from nature encroaching upon you i don't know where i am i don't know what i'm doing all i know is that wade can't possibly make me lose so i'm just gonna phone this episode in i i think that
Starting point is 00:08:10 i have it in the bag and i'm not even gonna worry about anything you know i don't know how else we can cheat to give bob the win and still have him fail but maybe we'll find a way uh no offense bob try take some points from me you ain't got nothing cheaters never lose okay so cheat all you want it's only gonna make you win harder yeah you're just a bitch baby host who can't even make bob win it's gonna be me no matter what why even try you were the bitch host last time that couldn't make Bob win. The episode was called Bob wins or something, wasn't it? I mean, something like that. And boy, did it deliver. I don't have any crazy gimmicks today.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I'm just going to assign points based on some fun competition between us talking about what I think are relatively interesting topics. Topics about competition. It's weird how competitive everything is, and it's so unnecessarily so. Like, we'll talk about some of these things more in depth, but people are super competitive about like Coke versus Pepsi, Nike versus like Adidas or Reebok or whoever, the console wars, Xbox is better better no playstation's better there's all this competition and we're gonna dive in and talk about how we feel about it whether
Starting point is 00:09:31 it's necessary and i will give points accordingly definitely with no bias toward bob and we're gonna tell anyone who likes anything why they're stupid for liking it and caring so much yes yeah you know you could just name him. We're talking about Tyler, obviously. Mr. Hyper Competitive. That's right. Our guest, Tyler. Did anyone call him?
Starting point is 00:09:53 Is he here? Yeah, maybe. Tyler? Did anybody call him? He's only our guest in spirit. Mark will be possessed by the ghost of Tyler, and that's how Tyler's the guest. It's a Go reference. Tyler, we're only talking about you behind
Starting point is 00:10:06 your back. Just the way you like it. You guys do that, right? Don't you get possessed by the ghost of viewers or something? Oh yeah, absolutely. You guys do, right? Oh, red chips! Oh, I hate red. Oh, I'm so angry I'm leaving. Sorry, Tyler. Tyler, go away. Go to Mark. What? It's your turn to babysit. Have you guys never heard the story?
Starting point is 00:10:21 This is an aside. Tyler doesn't like red chips. Have you ever heard the story of how he this is an aside like red chips have you ever heard the story of how he got the name apocalypto no i assume he was in that movie no it boiled down to a night where some friends and i were gathered together at my mom's house we were i don't know teenage we were probably in high school and we were going to play some like poker with no stakes there was no money involved i just had this cool poker set of like chips and cards i'm like yeah let's just play some cards pointless poker got it so we sat around a table i divvied up chips everyone had the same amount i forget how many different colors of chips there were like four or four whatever the standard thing is it was a standard like poker set usually four colors
Starting point is 00:10:57 and we play i deal out the first bit of cards we're playing standard texas hold'em whatever first round nobody really has anything everyone puts in like the least amount of cards we're playing standard texas hold'em whatever first round nobody really has anything everyone puts in like the least amount of money to bet no one does any raising or whatever it's more so just like two and a jack yeah just gonna call i guess let's see if the river the flop the river the turn let's see what i get from this i said that out of order i'm sorry bet all red chips somebody won the rest of us lost. Whatever. Next hand. Oh man. Don't really like my cards. I got like a three and a nine. Can't get it really straight. They're different suits. I guess I'll just play to see what turns over. Maybe I'll get a pair of three of a kind or something. Nothing. Guess I'll fold. Everyone else kind of felt the same way.
Starting point is 00:11:39 At this point, Tyler stood up and said, this is stupid stupid nobody's even bet anything besides stupid red chips i don't even want to play anymore and he just like walked out and we were like okay apocalypto it's not the end of the world we played two hands of poker before tyler rage quit and his reason he was upset was because no one bet a chip that was a different color than red he wanted people to like go all in on the second hand he was very upset it was i was i gotta say the story i was really waiting for there to be a moment where you were like we were playing poker and tyler was like what do you guys think the apocalypse apocalypse what's that called the end of the world the apocalypto everyone's like you don't know the word
Starting point is 00:12:27 apocalypse we called him that just out of like frustration for what we perceived as overreacting to not wide enough color betting variety in the first two or three it might have been three hands isn't this just white red and blue chips i remember sometimes there's green with you guys were there green i don't even think there were green chips were there i've had four color sets of chips but you know like red was the lowest amount it was like 50 or whatever and then it was like 105 whatever the numbers were but no one wanted to bet their chips on like a offsuit two jack and nobody had anything and the rip like nobody the thing that won those first two rounds was like oh i had an ace high or i had a pair of twos it was really not that interesting but tyler wanted there to be like river card world series of poker finals table like levels of drama in the
Starting point is 00:13:18 first few hands he wanted to see three stacks of red chips. I want to put $500 of blue chips in. No money behind this, mind you, but he just did not like the fact that people weren't bluffing in the first two hands of the game. We played for all of 10 minutes after 20-30 minutes of setup before Tyler was done for the night.
Starting point is 00:13:40 And we called him Apocalypto because it felt like the apocalypse was coming over betting some red chips. That it that's the story i appreciate that there's a motivation for the name i just i was really hoping there'd be more of an explanation i wonder if he'll have more to add that he remembers that's how i remember it is apocalypto a word is that like a term that you call someone that or someone just literally was like he's a real apocalypto i think someone it might be a word but i think someone just called him that i don't remember who it was i can't take credit someone said okay apocalypto wow that's it that's the story if you want more
Starting point is 00:14:16 stories about why tyler's named what he's named you should listen to go my favorite sports team the top sports not sports podcast on the sports podcast charts hell yeah the masters of balls and sticks or balls and holes or other things and also mark is there dude they're master of anything a moment that still lives aren't free in my head i think i've talked about on the show before is literally whenever tyler was reading and he finishes reading this excerpt and mark's like well that's kind's kind of sad. And Tyler's like, dude, it's a eulogy. That's a sad poem. No, you gotta understand.
Starting point is 00:14:53 It was the funniest poem. It was so goddamn funny what he was reading. And then it ended all sad. And I was like, oh man, it was so funny. Why did it have to end depressing? And he was like, dude, it's a eulogy. So yeah, no, it did end sad, but I realized why. That is live right free in my head.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Go ahead. Did you know it was a eulogy? No. And you just wished it had been. Oh, okay. I was sort of hoping Tyler was like, here, can I read you guys this eulogy? And it got to the end and you were just like ah bummer you suck more jokes of course I have to die at the end what kind of story is this yeah that's that is mostly my uh contribution to the show is very much just
Starting point is 00:15:40 like oh man that is just stupid it was a beautiful moment that i very much enjoyed and it's just lived right free in my head ever since but anyway to get back to the topic at hand i'm gonna read you all just a shit ton of statistics about something real quick it's gonna prove a very mundane point okay okay i'm excited tyler i'm sorry i'm probably stealing something from go my favorite sports team but you can you can steal it back from me all. There's this huge debate between who's the greatest of all time in the NBA. And everyone always is like, it's LeBron. It's Michael Jordan. And some other people have other opinions, but those are the two that get like most of the praise. All right. Michael Jordan made six finals. He won all six. LeBron's made the finals 10 times. This is before the NBA's
Starting point is 00:16:24 playoffs are done for 2023, 2024, or whatever this year is. So mind you, he's playing right now in the playoffs as we're recording this. He might've won another one, lost another one. I don't know. I'm excluding that. He's been there 10 times, but only won four, but he made it four more times. He's won 41 playoff series. I think 42 as of now, I think Jordan had won 30 series. LeBron is 42 and 22 in conference finals games. Michael Jordan's 29 and 16. Michael Jordan missed the playoffs two times. Didn't make the playoffs at all seven times in his career. LeBron missed the playoffs four times. Fell short of the finals six times. LeBron is 182 96 in the playoffs jordan is 119 and 60 in the playoffs
Starting point is 00:17:08 uh lebron averages 9.1 playoff wins per season 4.8 losses jordan averages 7.9 playoff wins per season with four losses jordan averages 33.6 points sixounds, 6 assists in finals games. LeBron, 28.4 points, so 5 points less. 10.2 rebounds, so 4 more rebounds. And 7.8 assists, so about 2 more assists per game. All of those numbers, to me, sound like these are two pretty really fucking good players that have some really good pros and similar stuff. They're pretty similar.
Starting point is 00:17:45 If you count LeBron's two more assists, every assist is at least two more points, right? So that's four more points he's responsible for, which only puts them one point apart, but LeBron also averages four more rebounds. To me, all of these fucking numbers go to show me that these guys are really good, but we are obsessed with the society as comparing them.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Who is the best and i've got i've got the numbers here so if you guys have questions feel free to ask but being as we're talking about good my favorite sports team i figured the first debate we would talk about is this lebron is a 6 to 24 and then mike jordan was less had four you know what i think i got the numbers internalized i'm with you i'm with you uh look this this whole thing to me i would cut this off i would nip this at the bud because it's really stupid to talk about who gets to be considered in the grace of all time when one of them is still playing the game i understand that lebron is accomplishments that uh potentially exceed or at the very least are comparable in competitive in terms of like
Starting point is 00:18:45 statistical analysis with mj mj retired what in like 98 or something he's been retired season i think and then he came back for the 98 season or something like that and then he played baseball or i don't remember but like he's been he's been retired for a couple decades he ain't dead he's still around and he needs interviews and stuff but his career is over he's been he's been retired for a couple decades he ain't dead he's still around and he interviews and stuff but his career is over he's not doing any more basketball stuff so you could look at it and be like this is what he did so he's at least in the top lebron's not done i know he's getting older he's it feels like he's been playing basketball my whole life because he's been in the league since i can really remember it 20 seasons this is his 20th season. Jordan played 15.
Starting point is 00:19:25 This is the 20th for LeBron. LeBron's not done. So it's really not. It doesn't matter if you want to talk about it. You wait till he's retired and talk about all the old retired guys whose numbers are all set and who will never accomplish another thing. And then you could be like, oh, well, he's clearly he's better at this than this. But LeBron had more of these and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Clearly, I'm not super invested in basketball. I don't know anything about NBA. I'm not either. I literally Google all this right before the recording. It seems really stupid to me to talk about anyone who's currently playing in any sort of sport or competition or whatever and be like, they are the greatest of all time that has ever had been. They are still having been.
Starting point is 00:20:01 They are being right now. They're not the greatest of anything yet. They're becoming the greatest, and when they retire, then they could be the greatest. That seems like the end of it to me, but sports people are ridiculous. That's fair. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's all the number focus.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I mean, I've had this debate with Tyler a lot, a lot, more than I would ever have wanted to do just because I'm not a sports guy, but it has come up a few times, but I think he has a good opinion of it. It's guy but it's uh it has come up a few times but it i think he has a good opinion of it is just like it's impossible to say who the best is because there are so many other factors especially in a team-based sport this is and it's something that i've been convinced like yes it is impossible to say because one person's stats could be inflated
Starting point is 00:20:39 by their team's support of them and therefore it could sway things one or another but i i agree it's like the debate is silly because yeah they're not done they could just i don't know i have no idea sports people's obsession with talking about who the goat is in any context and but also them constantly conflating people from different eras of sports where like, I know more about hockey, right? We're in an era of hockey right now where goaltending is very good. There's high skill goalies. They save a lot of pucks. Like, mid 90%
Starting point is 00:21:14 save percentage is like a good achievable percentage. There was a long time where goalies kind of just stood there and when the puck got shot at them, they were like, whoa! And if it went in, it went in it went in and like that was it that's you know in the era when gretzky scored his his tons and tons and tons of goals goaltending was not the same as it is now that doesn't mean that gretzky is not the great one
Starting point is 00:21:36 of hockey the greatest of all time who holds so many records by such a wide margin that he's still like hard to reach people are not going to touch his records for quite a while. Some of them anyway, but it's completely different. It's like he was playing a slightly different sport. And it's like that with all sports like basketball. When Jordan played, it's not the same as it is now. Guys are different sizes, different. There's different strategies.
Starting point is 00:21:58 I don't know basketball, but like it's different. It seems stupid to try and compare someone who played decades ago to someone who's playing now and say it's exactly the same sport. LeBron is just better, clearly. Or maybe LeBron plays in an era where, you know, rebounds are way more meaningful than points. And so maybe he scores less points than Michael, but he gets way more rebounds or whatever. Like, again, I don't know the actual numbers, but it's just different. Everything is different.
Starting point is 00:22:22 The stats mean different things. The numbers are not unequivocally valuable. One point is not equal to one point if they're 50 years apart in the same sport. Sports people are ridiculous, though. They'll argue until they're literally hoarse and sick and they hate each other and they storm off screaming.
Starting point is 00:22:38 It's nasty. And it's like, you're both wrong, I guess. I don't know. You're both right. Who cares? Aren't we just out here because we like sports? Can't we just watch the Super Bowl and not talk about Tom Brady if he's the greatest of all time? If there's one thing I've learned, that is not how it goes.
Starting point is 00:22:54 It's not about that. It just ain't, is it? Don't even try to make it just about that. It's not. So all those sports fans who listen to this podcast, I guess what I'm saying is you're stupid. You heard it here first, everybody. You're dumb.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Breaking news. Bob, 16 points for being so brave. How could I say something so brave but so true? I don't know. Can't believe you. Can't believe you and how right you are. One that hits closer to home for us three and some other ohio cincinnati residents gold star and skyline chili oh they are direct competitors but if you like gold star and you're talking to
Starting point is 00:23:36 a skyline person you are getting that judgmental face a lot of people are like well most people know of skyline skyline is the one that's more known, more recognizable, I guess, like we talk about more. Because it's better. But Gold Star, I like both. Because it's better. But that's the reaction you get. It's like, Gold Star or Skyline?
Starting point is 00:23:54 Dude, Skyline. I don't want to walk right into this. I don't want to be an open play. No, no. Make a bold claim. Do it. No. God.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yes. Do it. Take your ground. I gold star wow and i thought we were friends that's wild i like i like both pretty evenly bob's uh skyline marks a gold star there's one reason because you could you could talk about like the the chili differences and whatever and that doesn't really matter because when i when i'm there it's about the experience of being at the restaurant but it doesn't boil down the customer service is the same the difference is the hot sauce provided literally that's the only reason i prefer gold star because when i go to gold star and i'm not ordering takeout or whatever
Starting point is 00:24:38 from either one it doesn't matter because i have frank's red hot at home gold star has frank's red hot there and it's my preferred hot sauce and that's it that's my not sponsored but we could be mark puts that i don't everything it's because like skyline has tabasco style hot sauce where it's mostly vinegar and it's mostly like watery i'm not saying there's a huge difference between them. There is a difference. Molly loves Skyline Hot Sauce by the way. It's so watery. It's so watery. Because it mixes in, Mark. It's not supposed to be
Starting point is 00:25:13 its own thing. It adds to the flavor. It doesn't try and... No. To me, the difference... The difference to me... Obviously the chili's different. I like both. If I'm going to get spaghetti, chili, and cheese, which is called a three-way here in Cincinnati.
Starting point is 00:25:30 No joke, it's called a three-way. If I'm going to get a three-way, I prefer Skyline. If I'm going to get chili cheese fries, I prefer Gold Star, and I like Coney's from both. And the reason I prefer Gold Star's chili cheese fries is because they use crinkle-cut fries that stay crispy longer than the shoestring-like fries Skyline uses. It's true. Skyline's fries just get soggy fast. Gold Star's stay crispy longer. the like the shoestring like fries skyline uses it's true skyline's fries just get soggy fast gold star stay crispy longer that's the difference to me
Starting point is 00:25:49 but i like both i enjoy both if someone's like let's go to x you know names one i'm like i'm happy to go but here in cincinnati like or between you two you see it's like dude skyline's the best obviously no dude i prefer gold star what can i can i just say this uh these are these are the these are the big franchises right this is the coke and pepsi of of cincinnati chili restaurant these are the two that are talked about anyone anyone who is an actual connoisseur who lives in cincinnati knows blue ash chili chili know is actually better than either skyline or gold scar gold star and also camp washington chili is an underrated local place that is on the level i would say with blue ash both of those are good superior like coney three-way type places can i
Starting point is 00:26:38 make an admission i've never had either one i've never had either of those either you have to go to them right they're not like skyline and gold star have restaurants all around cincinnati and in ohio and in the whole region you have to go to blue ash you have to go to camp washington to get those those are like local joints so it's a different discussion but i would highly recommend it i really like camp washington myself i would say a lot of people i know prefer blue ash and i think blue ash chili is like the best cincinnati chili place but yeah i know i this is one too where i feel really strongly but i also don't i'm not gonna i'm not gonna get mad if someone likes gold star i just if i was gonna choose i would choose to go to skyline but it's like you said like gold stars fries are way
Starting point is 00:27:21 better that's the thing i used to get. Because I went to the University of Cincinnati. In my opinion. As we all did. There was a Gold Star in the student center at UC. Best chili cheese fries. I had them a ton. That was one of my favorite things. If I needed food and I was on campus and I didn't think ahead to pack lunch,
Starting point is 00:27:39 cheese fries, Gold Star chili, boom. Best, favorite, delicious. I'd never really had Gold Star. My family always goes to Skyline. And so whenever I was going to uc there wasn't one on campus there was only the gold star so it was like well i guess i'll try it and i was like this is really good and yeah it was a very frequent lunch because i would go get an order of chili cheese fries from gold star like work on school work whatever sit there i forget what the building was called but yeah we'd go there and eat chili cheese t TUC. Tangeman University Center or something like that.
Starting point is 00:28:09 But in the spirit of this episode, and I think this is what you were going for, Wade, let me just hang on. I can't believe that you prefer Gold Star over Skyline, Mark. I think you're a coward. I think if you need to have Frank's Red Hot Hot Sauce to enjoy something, then what you actually like is hot sauce and you're not even judging it based on the chili, which is what the restaurants are
Starting point is 00:28:31 named for. You fucking idiot! You don't even know what good chili is. Skyline Chili is an embarrassment to chili nationwide. People mock it mercilessly. At least Gold Star has some substance in their chili and not pure goat feces or whatever the hell they put in there gold star has more weird shit
Starting point is 00:28:52 they have more cinnamon they put chocolate in their chili that's messed up as far as i know skyline only maybe does that they probably do it's probably i'm sorry you never heard of a mole yeah no is that what you were going for Wade is that the vibe not really but you know Bob very brief I'll give you 16 points for so brief Mark I was going to give you points until you just like
Starting point is 00:29:16 for some reason the moment you said something about Skyline not being good it like stabbed me in the heart a bit because I actually come here and try it so much like i'm used to people shitting on gold star because it does get shit on more often even though i like it i'm just used to hearing that but hearing someone say something negative about skyline i feel like i've got to defend because it's like that's why i tell people to come to
Starting point is 00:29:38 cincinnati you can't be mean to it i love it can i say listen can i say i was born in michigan right i was born in pontiac a lot of my family's in the detroit michigan area and i i like skyline now but when i was a kid my family mocked skyline because we had a skyline near us and and real coney island chili cheese conies from a from a michigan like from a detroit coney island are a whole other kind of food it's the same basic food but it's real chili with like beans and shit in it and uh chunky chili that real coney island conies are kind of better than skyline like i like don't always i'm sure you two know this but not everyone knows that you can add beans and onions to skyline and gold star chili i think gold star you can but but that's weird that's not they don't ask you that when you order coney's you say i want a
Starting point is 00:30:30 cheese coney and they're like do you want mustard and onions and you say yes or no to that but then they're not like and you want i think on a coney you can put it but like if you order it if you order a five way instead of a three way if you order a five way you're getting beans and onion if you order a four way you choose beans or onion but it's always chili cheese spaghetti or whatever but i think on a coney you could probably do that too right i'm sure they would put beans on a coney if you wanted that would just be ridiculous i mean i guess onions already come on a coney so you just add beans what would that be a five-way coney put some spaghetti on that bitch too make it a whole pile somebody other day thought that i mentioned a cheese cone and they were like you put spaghetti on a hot dog
Starting point is 00:31:09 no you could but no what you do is you wrap the hot dog in spaghetti and then you deep fry it and it's like a crunchy spaghetti dog and then you put chili beans yeah no i i don't i don't think they would do that the restaurant i gotta be honest i think skyline might be offended if you tried to order that they'd be confused people get really worked up about this i have to agree that's another one where i i don't get the food it's all yeah sports consoles playstation there's a correct answer to this one there is there's a correct answer to this one i i will take whatever bob's opposite opinion all right i have a strong opinion i actually do have a strong opinion about this and for one reason and on one specific narrow part of it i think i know what it is
Starting point is 00:31:58 and i think you do know what it is because i talk about this a lot the xbox controller scheme is the correct controller scheme i hate it you do you know why every third-party controller looks like an xbox controller this is a nintendo switch uh third-party pro controller i grew up with this i love love it. I need it. You know why they all look like Xbox controllers and not like DualShock piece of shit. Whoa, I knocked over my Nintendo Switch really aggressively there. Because people's thumbs can't be in the same spot. Because you don't play a game like that. Because this is an inferior design. Yes, you don't.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Look, I have big hands. And so this is the first DualShock controller where I use this, and it's comfortable because it's big enough. But the joysticks, the two joysticks in the center, is just objectively wrong. There are some third-party controllers that mimic this only because they're PlayStation controllers. Keep going, Bob. I got to go get some.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Okay, do it. But all of the third party controllers that are in any way good or uh in any way popular look like an xbox controller because this is more comfortable why would you want your thumb that controls your character's movement to be all crooked and sideways honest to god it doesn't make sense wade i grew up playing playstation i respect that and i remember when they first added analog because the first playstation controllers didn't have those at all it was i don't i forget that it was just the d-pad and the buttons there were none of these
Starting point is 00:33:33 i think there were still buttons on the front but i think they were almost evenly sized they weren't like the yeah there were there were like two bumper style buttons yeah playing my original twist the metal 2 you drove around with this. You held X to go, I think, and you drove with just these. And that's how you played. And I think PlayStation 2 introduced the analog controllers. There was actually a PSX controller, I think, that had analog. But PS2 was the first DualShock that launched with the console that had analog on it.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I think there are PS1 analog controllers as well, I think. But I think for me, because I just grew up with PlayStation, I had analog on it. I think there are PS1 analog controllers as well. I think. But I think for me, because I just grew up with PlayStation, I had the PlayStation 1 and then when PlayStation 2 came out, I was like, oh, I want, I don't remember what generation did the first Xbox come out? Was that PS2 or PS3? The Xbox came out in the same generation as the
Starting point is 00:34:18 GameCube, which was the same generation as the PS2. I think that's right. So I'd already been familiar with PlayStation. I believe on PlayStation 2 that's where Twisted Metal Black was going to be coming out
Starting point is 00:34:30 or one of the Twisted Metals was coming out on PlayStation 2 and I was in love with that franchise. So I was leaning toward PlayStation already because one, I'd played it and two,
Starting point is 00:34:38 that's where that game was coming out. But there's also that ingrained, like the whole point of this episode is not for us to fight over who wins and who's right
Starting point is 00:34:45 I'll kill you. I'm about to fight. Okay. Okay, go for it mark fight. Uh, so but The parent I was Okay, well, yeah you finish okay. Oh you finish okay finish It's more so the fact that I was just used to it comfortable with it Then after playing three generations of PlayStation consoles, I was used to those two analogs being side by side. I remember playing Call of Duty, and I used to care a lot about it. I was very into it.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I had like a 1.3, 1.4 kill-death ratio. I was very proud of that. I forget which Call of Duty it was. And, you know, maybe that's not the best in the world, but I was proud of it for me. I had a couple matches, whichever Call of Duty it was that had the map's jungle and firing range. I had two matches where I had 40 plus kills and zero deaths, and I was just so proud of myself for those runs. And then my buddy got an Xbox, and he invited me over to play that same Call of Duty, but on Xbox.
Starting point is 00:35:41 So I went over there and I played it. Call of Duty but on Xbox. So I went over there and I played it. And I was at like a.73 kill death ratio because I could not get my brain to quickly map over to using an Xbox controller. Everything felt alien. It's not that different. And I just felt terrible.
Starting point is 00:35:56 It was literally almost half. Your phone just gets to be comfortable on an Xbox controller. That's the only difference. It's more ergonomic. I went from almost a 3 to, what is it? 1.5 kill death. I think you just need to get good. I think that's the only difference it's more ergonomic i went from almost a three to what is it a 1.5 i think you just need to get good i think that's the problem you're just that is your salty mad boy but seeing that difference in production and just feeling like i was like i don't know what i'm doing like i felt horrible i never wanted to play on an xbox again and i'd like i had this like
Starting point is 00:36:20 mental barrier against them for a very long time because i was like dude i cannot even start to fathom why someone would prefer this this is terrible because i was just used to the playstation weight is full of bad opinions on playstation things mark what do you have here comes an even worse opinion that you both are going to disagree with oh god my favorite controller of all time even though i agree with bob Bob that the Xbox controller is like a great layout. My favorite controller of all time. The Stadia controller. I knew Stadia was going to come into this somehow. The Stadia, I still use it even though Stadia was discontinued.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Because the weight of it feels wonderful in the hand. The buttons aren't like with PlayStation where they're all soft and mushy. They've got good clicking and tactile feel to them. It is in the double bottom orientation, which is not my preferred orientation, but because of the way the controller is shaped versus the PlayStation's boomerang configuration, it feels great in the hand. It's just wonderful. It clicks, it clacks. It's just got such good functionality. If only people gave Stadia a chance, and if Google didn't quit, there was a chance chance but people didn't even give it a chance
Starting point is 00:37:46 Stadia could have made something I think I completely share your opinion that the build quality and the buttons and everything on the Stadia controller were very satisfying were past tense because it's dead now
Starting point is 00:38:02 but I it's inescapable that you you just think that because you're a huge stadia fan boy you're never gonna let it go yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry i am a fan is that so wrong i'm not gonna gloat about it because it is actually dead now and i don't yeah i don't need to gloat because clearly i was right. But, um... That's so bold, Bob. 16 points. But the Stadia... If the Stadia controller had the correct joystick
Starting point is 00:38:31 configuration, that would be a strong competitor for my favorite of all time as well because it is... The buttons and everything are nice. They're very satisfying in a way that the PlayStation controller is not.'re very mushy you're right there's only one scenario that I like
Starting point is 00:38:48 this configuration more is platformers because like 2D side scrolling platformers because these are in line and I like to use the D-pad versus this for platformers it's more precise in my opinion and I do in Stadia I did play a lot of platformers and whenever I need to play a platformer I grab this controller
Starting point is 00:39:04 and plug it into my computer except the buttons are so mushy you'll never be able to tell if you're doing a jump and put on the correct frame or not he doesn't even have an answer he's just gonna ignore us i don't feel mushy it's just a flatter this button feels flatter than like the xbox button there doesn't feel mushy it's it my thing with stad stadium is like yes of course there was latency it's beaming the game from across the city and it's still perfectly playable yeah okay no well we know mark i'm very sorry that your friend died i'm it's my apologies thank you thank you condolences why does it have to end so sad what kind of poem is this i see what you did there thank you very good thank you thank you condolences why does it only have to end so sad what kind of poem is this i see what you did there thank you good thank you um yeah but no okay so well so we have strong opinions about the controllers and i respect that even though it makes me want to
Starting point is 00:39:57 uh it fills me with rage and i hate you now uh but can i just say the the idea of the console wars more broadly is one where we are today in gaming really stupid there are clear winners and losers i feel like all the three main console companies have very much established their place in the world and i don't think that's going to change in a meaningful way anytime soon but also it was always stupid i just like if you want to say that you prefer the exclusives that sony had over the exclusives that microsoft had during the heyday of the console wars i think that's pretty fair i think sony had some real bangers i do think the fable series as a microsoft exclusive was very underrated i do think halo dominated the market early but faded pretty hard after the original four or five games in that franchise
Starting point is 00:40:46 came out and people kind of got over it but exclusives are exclusives there's exclusive shit everywhere there are even games that are on pc the least exclusive platform but they're on epic games exclusively and that means you have to interface with the epic game store which is just just really mediocre and not getting any better or different at all as far as i can tell it's i mean you can spend money on it and you can download games on it but why isn't it just steam like at least for the love of god copy steam like jesus christ steam clearly has established the baseline everyone expects steam to be the gold standard even if steam has its issues which it does we all know it does everyone expects that and why is epic games so different from steam it's just annoying because
Starting point is 00:41:29 everyone expects it anyway but the actual idea that sony is better than microsoft or vice versa that whole thing that's the most tiresome exhausting shit i've ever seen on the internet what is people's problem with that unless you're talking about the controllers get out of my face with that energy but the controllers i will fight you to the death about as i've gotten older like i feel this way about sports teams too i'm a bengals fan i love the bengals to death i followed them i've gone to games i watched them i've dealt with the heartbreak my entire life finally the last couple of years we've had some good success we still have never won a super bowl almost and believe me all of my friends are of course they're either patriots fans or Steelers fans.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Their team has Super Bowl wins. And no matter how good the Bengals are, they always, at the end of the year, I'm like, well, hey, we at least made the Super Bowl this year. How many rings do you have? Count my rings. I've got zero because I'm just a fan. But count them.
Starting point is 00:42:21 There's more than your whole franchise. Every time. And what I have come to realize in the last few years is that we are all stupid who are big sports fanatics, because ultimately we're spending money and cheering for people we don't know
Starting point is 00:42:37 to go play a game against each other that the result has literally zero impact on our lives, but we act like would be the most crazy, amazing thing to watch our team win. And then like the next year, you're like, yeah, we won last year, but that's how everyone seems to be. It's like, well, yeah, we won last year, but can we do it again? Like you guys just won a championship.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Is your whole life not different? Do you not have like six yachts now? You're married to six models because your team won? Your life's the same? That's crazy. I can't believe we hate each other because you're a Steelers fan and I'm a Bengals fan or vice versa, whatever. It's the dumbest thing.
Starting point is 00:43:11 It's so dumb. What I'm hearing is that you're not a sports fan, Wade. Yeah, exactly. I've lost my rabidness. I got my rabies shot. Now all of a sudden I've lost my sports fanaticism. I do love because I think in that moment we just found Wade's mocking voice. Because like, Bob, you have yours.
Starting point is 00:43:30 And then Wade, you just discovered your true hilarious. Wings. Oh, you beat us in one game. Tom Brady has 37 championships. Goddamn, Tom Brady has how many championships? I don't't even know i don't even know how many it is now seven ten i actually don't know anymore that no that is an important and beautiful discovery and thank you for pointing it out mark because that is a true breakthrough didn't realize that was a thing i hope it stays i hope i remember it well you know i i have i have such an iconic mocking voice.
Starting point is 00:44:06 We've just been waiting. Mark, what's your voice? Is it just the same one as mine? I don't know. I haven't found it yet. Someday I will. We need to talk about something that you feel as strongly about as Wade feels about sports and give you the chance to just completely, sincerely mock some person unabashedly.
Starting point is 00:44:26 What do people who shit on Stadia sound like to you? All those people that hated Stadia for so long, Mark. How do you feel about them? What do they always say to you, Mark? They were right. He's not going to mock them. He's just defeated.
Starting point is 00:44:41 That was just sad. Mark, I'm going to give you five pity points. Thank you. No, they were right about, like, Google canceling it, but it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Man, all right. I didn't mean to kick you while you were down. Jeez, I was just trying to...
Starting point is 00:44:59 All right. I guess to jump into another one we'll try to talk about the other ones a little bit more briefly TikTok versus Vine versus Snapchat obviously we all know Vine is gone but I feel like a lot of people shit on Vine while it was around then after it left everyone acts like it was this godly place that was so much better than TikTok whereas in reality they accomplish pretty similar things Snapchat you can't I don't know if you can watch Snapchat compilations somewhere or something like that, but that's what people talk about. I don't know. I've heard that. Those don't seem connected to me, but. I was looking into it before I did the episode and I saw people that were like Snapchat versus TikTok. And I was like, are those comparable?
Starting point is 00:45:42 Are there people that are like Snapchat's's better because they seem different to me but tick tock and vine i think are comparable to talk about even though vine's gone but i feel like when tick tock came out people like the vine people were like dude they're just vine but worse boo and it's like i watched a compilation of both they're pretty similar to me i for a while i i don't think it's as the case as much anymore but for a while tiktok i think caught a lot of shit because it was musically and that became tiktok i don't remember if they got bought or what but musically was cringy right because it's basically just lip syncing along to songs like that was the whole thing about musically it became more of what tiktok is as it like developed but the original idea about musically it became more of what tiktok is as
Starting point is 00:46:25 it like developed but the original idea of musically i did not like i did not appreciate that it was really cringy it it is sometimes difficult to say what is cringy and what you're just out of touch with but i think even people that use tiktok to this day can say musically is a little cringy but for the people that used it they liked it and so who are we to shit on something that people like yeah i mean i'm definitely not i'm definitely if anyone's out of touch it's i'm a ripe candidate for that so it might just been not for me but tiktok and snapchat is that really the one we're going that i those just seem so different it's just snapchat not they do to me too i don't know snapchat is primarily for like more direct communication
Starting point is 00:47:05 right like you send videos that are in the same style as tiktoks but you send them send them back and forth to people or like you can post like stories on snapchat i don't know what they're called i don't use it but they still go away right it's not like you have a page where all of your snapchats are posted they go away after some amount of time that's the whole thing i thought snapchat was you take a picture or video of something type a little message and send it to like a person or several people and that was like yeah there's a whole breadth of video production in snapchat with stories because people forget snapchat was the first app that offered stories because it fell right in line with their temporary aspect of things and then every single other social media adopted and copied
Starting point is 00:47:45 over stories for better or for worse uh but at the same time yeah a lot of features i don't use snapchat i haven't for years but when it comes down to it like yeah there is a very loyal base of people that are like snapchat oh i love i watch stories on snapchat all the time because maybe that's what the competition is but it just just that's another I mean Marvel versus DC wait wait wait wait I was gonna say something about the Snapchat thing can I say the one thing that I think Snapchat ever has to come from Snapchat
Starting point is 00:48:14 that I think is cool and I wish was still supported because it's been completely deprecated did you guys ever see these did you guys ever have these or see these yeah sunglasses case I bought this pair of Snapchat Did you guys ever see these? Did you guys ever have these or see these? Yeah! Sunglasses case? I think I have those in the other room. I bought this pair of Snapchat glasses at Universal Studios Orlando when I was on a family vacation because they had a vending machine, and I just saw it, and I was like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:48:38 And I saw it, and I went and did some research, and I looked at it, and I was like, wait, that's actually really sick. This is a little charging case. It charges on pogo pins and then these glasses have like a little button and they have this is a camera you could shoot snapchat stories just like wear these like sunglasses and you could be like oh that's cool boom and like record a video from your first person perspective i know it was a thing these are super cool and they don't work anymore because they're not software supported by any software including the current snapchat app coolest thing that snapchat ever did right here you should make a new version of these that's a little less dweeby looking you put those with
Starting point is 00:49:13 mark stadia controller and you've got a whole bunch of relevant cool stuff this is still useful i can still use this okay yeah no i still use this controller has has used these i only they sit next to me and i wish they worked but they are it's a cool it's a little bit feeding into toxic social media and obsessively sharing every moment of every day but but it's cool like i would do that and i would use them for my own purposes because i would just take videos and then put them on my you know my home my what are those fucking things called? Help. Wait a minute. God damn it. The thing. It's a screen and there's
Starting point is 00:49:50 pictures on it. Digital photo frames. Those. I would put it on those. I'm gonna give you 16 points. Fuck. Thanks. Fuck, apparently. How many points did Mark earn for that? Hey, look, guys. They're charging. The case has batteries still. Mark, how many points do you want for that hey look guys they're charging the case the case has batteries still uh mark how many points you want uh 30 all right oh whoa wait wait a minute i didn't realize
Starting point is 00:50:12 hang on well you asked i didn't have an answer so i can't ask mark but yeah we could sorry i just i just happen to have those well it's we i didn't mean to hijack the whole thing the last one i'll i mean i've got a whole list here but just to wrap it up marvel versus dc is another one now i know movie wise in the last 10 20 years marvel's had a lot more success than dc has but the comic books themselves and growing up like growing up batman and spider-man were like the two big things in my brain that i remember i had like spider-man toys like watching spider-man on tv batman had like all kinds of different movies and shows and stuffman on tv batman had like all kinds of different movies and shows and stuff on there was batman beyond that came out good show there was so
Starting point is 00:50:49 much batman and dc was pretty much like thriving because of it and i loved batman still do but you know more recent years i mean people now are thinking like oh okay well obviously the marvel has had so much more cinematic success and some of the dc movies bombed but that's a relatively small time sample compared to like the longevity of how long they've been around and in my lifetime I've really seen it flip right because like I said I feel like DC was more well then I think there was like a um X-Men show like a cartoon but I didn't watch that nearly as much as I watched the Batman shows as a kid so I don't know as much about that or how popular that was comparatively the X-Men cartoon was really good i didn't watch it too much i didn't realize what you were doing wade for just it took me a second like where you went like this and i was like what what is this really
Starting point is 00:51:34 yeah i picked up on that later i hope that some people who are watching you want to see me do it it was just such a random action i didn was totally blown away and thrown off by it. Just suddenly doing that. I mean... I was like, wait, are you alright? Mark, this is the cool way to wear headphones. Have you not seen this? I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:51:57 This is why you've got to be on Snapchat. Everyone on Snapchat is sharing that. With my hair, it doesn't even look like it's off my hair. So I'm not as cool. You get your prop cigar and yeah he works it into every episode i don't know how he does it he really needs to get his money out of that cigar i guess i really do i gotta earn it i was like can i write this off on taxes like it's a toy cigar no and i was like but i use it do you want the lead on marvel versus d DC Mark do you have strong opinions about this no not really I just I if people are going for a certain faction like I think they're missing the point and that's what I never really liked about the whole Marvel DC
Starting point is 00:52:36 thing is like why do you need to grab bag all of the universe because there are things in Marvel that I definitely don't like or there's no reason to like it or whatever it's just like it's so strange to be so incredibly married to one whereas there are heroes from both that are really appreciable and you don't have to be like there's batman doesn't go around like little dc for life you know and then spider-man doesn't like i'm glad i'm in marvel you know it's like it's not can you imagine if they did god that would be so off-putting. I'm an Avenger. A Marvel Avenger. I'm a Marvel's Avengers. I'm a DC Avenger.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I mean, I guess, Bob, if you have a strong opinion, you can jump in, but I do have a follow-up from Mark. My take would be, if you want to talk about their media plan over the last couple decades, yeah, the MCU has been wildly successful. If you want to talk about how much of the mcu i have given a shit about because it's so flooded and saturated with content that it feels like they're just vomiting out an endless stream of meaningless content that never stops and none of it is very bad but none of it is very good either basically since
Starting point is 00:53:42 marvel phase two i have kind of been like over it and like i i don't know how people watch 30 marvel movies a year plus six tv shows plus all this like there's so much shit it's easy to say like yeah dc has really fumbled their you know the the justice league franchise not so great some of their movie franchises really not so good movies hit and miss like yeah that has to do with them as a media company and that's like that doesn't really have to do anything to do with the characters and the universes i'm 100 with mark but i'm really sick of all of the superhero shit let's come up with a new type of movie and tv show to put out because holy fuck do i not need to watch another Thor movie where Thor is randomly
Starting point is 00:54:26 friends with some new Avenger now and it's the 80s. God, I don't fucking care. Holy crap. The Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 came out. I'm glad it's over. Jesus Christ. I don't care that there's hair metal songs on the soundtrack to your movie.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Stop making them. God damn. It's a talking raccoon got it very cool the tree is screwed good it's over now jesus christ so brave 16 points but yeah no i'm just like they put out so much shit in the in the more recent phases of the marvel cinematic universe it's like it's just a flood of mediocre stuff is how it feels like none of it's that good they're just catching in on it fine if you like it it's fine but it's like mark you want 30 more points i'll take 30 more points mark had said like at the end of his how he really didn't care and didn't think there was no reason to alienate one versus the other i'm kind of paraphrasing but that was like
Starting point is 00:55:21 the gist of it yeah and that's kind of like the whole point of this episode was not for us to have strong opinions it was to talk about how kind of silly it is to have strong opinions because i like skyline and gold star i like coke and pepsi depending like sky if you go to skyline or gold star you're having pepsi with it or pepsi products unless you get water they only serve that so unless you get skyline to go and have like a coke with it at home if you want a soda with your chili and you're eating at the restaurant, you're having a Pepsi product. So I kind of grew up pairing Skyline with Pepsi. So whenever I have chili, I kind of crave Pepsi because in my brain, that's how I've always paired them. Whereas at home, I'll buy Coke, vanilla Coke, whatever, but I will drink both.
Starting point is 00:55:59 All of these things we've talked about. I loved watching Michael Jordan growing up. I loved watching LeBron. I think they're both amazing players. Different fast food franchise. We didn't talk about it, but like McDonald's versus Burger King was a big thing growing up. Wendy's obviously comes in and like trounces on them in a lot of ways, but people still prefer one of the other different sports teams, chili places, pizza places, Snapchat, Vine, TikTok, different clothing companies, shoe companies, Marvel, DCc they can all really be enjoyed and
Starting point is 00:56:25 appreciated the one thing about fantasy football whenever i played fantasy football 20 years ago that i appreciated was the fact that i started caring about players and teams other than the bangles because it's like well dude i've got this wide receiver on my team i wanted to see him do well and it's like wow i'm rooting for this guy who's not on the bangles this has never happened and then like he would get traded somewhere else and it's like well i, I'm rooting for this guy who's not on the Bengals. This has never happened. And then like he would get traded somewhere else. And it's like, well, I like that guy. He helped me win that thing. And I've also kind of followed his career a little bit.
Starting point is 00:56:50 I know his ups and downs. Like I've started, I started humanizing the sport for me where it was like, I'm still a Bengals fan, but I no longer have like a passionate hatred towards like Pittsburgh or whoever else. Cause now it's like, now I'm seeing the more, the side that the fact that we've gotten so rabid that we don't even see the fact that there's people just playing a sport they love and making a career it was my team you've wins your team sucks you cheaters I hate you all and a lot of this is just unnecessary competition it's just we've made everything into
Starting point is 00:57:19 a competition that doesn't need to be it's us versus them or me versus you in ways that we could just be like I just enjoy these things I don't know to me the whole point of this be it's us versus them or me versus you in ways that we could just be like i just enjoy these things i don't know to me the whole point of this is it's unnecessary we really don't get anything out of it it's fun to be competitive sometimes but i feel like everything i mean even politics you name it it's gone everything's competitive and everything's about winning versus losing and i don't know i i just feel like it's gotten too far to some extent maybe it always has been but i'm just old enough now to see it for our lifetimes, and I know our more recent examples.
Starting point is 00:57:49 But at the end of the day, you can enjoy a lot of things that are different, even if they are competitors with each other. These brands competing with each other don't mean shit to us on an individual level. For the majority of us, it's literally just, there is that much more entertainment we can either enjoy, or not enjoy because it's expensive buying there is that much more entertainment we can either enjoy or not enjoy because it's expensive buying all these fucking consoles and shit but there's just more variety of stuff out there to try and enjoy especially with food i guess so not wanting to pick a side like marvel or dc to me makes more sense nowadays but everyone i don't know i guess i say everyone
Starting point is 00:58:18 very it's a very sweeping generalization but a lot of people seem to be very passionate about their brand even though their brand doesn't know they exist and would do nothing for them if given the chance yeah i would do nothing for anyone man i'm uh i love those guys yeah it's very brave bob 16 points i feel like being brand loyal to one particular thing excludes you from opening your eyes to so much more it's like the stories with just sports but also just in terms of like tech and the landscape, I was forever just like, I will never do Mac at all.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Cause PC versus Mac is another big thing. Windows versus Mac specifically. Oh yeah. I've got Apple versus Android on here. Yeah. But when it comes down to it, once I got my Mac book, I appreciated it for what it was.
Starting point is 00:59:03 And it became like a very useful tool for a very specific thing. It had better battery life. It had better, especially when the new M chips. The M1 MacBook has such ridiculous battery life. The M chips are crazy. Oh, yeah. No, my MacBook Pro with like the M2 Max chip, like the best chip it has, can tackle video editing. It can tackle file management.
Starting point is 00:59:23 It can tackle data transfer. I have a much better appreciation now, especially than before for Thunderbolt. Originally, I was like, oh, screw Thunderbolt. Much I was like, screw Mac. You mean USB-C? Oh, God, don't talk to me about USB-C. I never want to hear you. 30 points for your pain.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Thank you. Everyone knows what USB-C is, Mark. It's not complicated. Oh, God, definitely not complicated at all. It's so ubiquitous. It's ubiqu complicated. Calm down. Oh, God. Definitely not complicated at all. It's so ubiquitous. It's ubiquitous. I like your points, guys. You can make some good points. All right, wait.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Let's decide the winner of this competition. Snap, snap. Come on. All right. I'm ready. Only because I have to. All right. I'm tallying the points.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Bob, I gave you 16 points a lot. I don't know why. That was just an arbitrary number. I thought there was going to be some meaning to that but there wasn't no it's sure however this is a complete coincidence and this was not planned i swear to you no matter what mark i gave you five points early on for something i don't remember what but then i gave you 30 points three times there's no way i gave you 30 points three times, and I gave you five points. Bob, I gave you 16 points however many times.
Starting point is 01:00:27 You guys can do the math at home. If I am one point... Are you telling me I'm one point short of Mark if I'm doing the rough math? I'm telling you you are one point ahead. It's 96 to 95. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. If you want to accept the results of this, Bob, you won by one point.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Wow. I mean, whenever I gave the last 30 to Mark there, I saw that it would have gotten to 95, and I was like, that's kind of funny. No, listen. You know what, though? Wade, your point, your statement, your conclusion at the end of this episode has moved me. Plus, I'm a stubborn man, and I demand satisfaction. Don't do this.
Starting point is 01:01:06 I want this episode to be decided by a coin flip. Bob, I'm running out of ideas. Mark will call it in the air, and if I lose, I will take a pity victory, but it will be very unsatisfying. How about that? I cannot believe this, man. I will actually host the next one, but I will take no victory, but I will host the next one as a form of penance for my stubbornness.
Starting point is 01:01:37 All right. Well, you're the host. You don't have to do what I'm saying. I do because I also have to see this. I can't lose another one right i i understand that the the odds don't change that it's fine but like i can't possibly lose another what color bob make it green okay and mark's calling this in the air yeah mark you call it in the air okay call it whatever you want and there's just no way that
Starting point is 01:02:06 i'm gonna lose this again you literally don't have to you're winning right now you could take the win click the button okay i'm gonna click and mark be ready to call it ready three two one call it tails Colin. Tails. Oh! Oh! He's done it! Bob wins! This trick is over! Fair and square! Oh, man. Both on points and the coin.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Double fair. Double victory. It only counts once, but whatever. Bob, do you want to see if you also win on the wheel? Yeah, roll it! Keep it rolling! Let it roll, baby! Bob went on the wheel, too! Come on!
Starting point is 01:02:51 Can he go three for three? Wait, wait, wait. He's three for three! He's three! I think he's actually crying. The purest form of victory that can be achieved has been achieved. You broke all the curses.
Starting point is 01:03:21 That's incredible. I am so proud of you, Bob. I'll take this loss this loss however today is opposite day i'm just kidding congratulations you wanted everywhere imaginable and i will not take it from you no one can no one can No one can take this from me. I earned this. I don't know if either of you are ready for this because this doesn't happen anymore. But Bob, do you have a winner's speech?
Starting point is 01:03:52 I do. You know what? Your theme of today's episode was grandiose and perhaps ahead of its time. Some may say you were a fool for even thinking such things. But I think you were right. I gave up on the notion of winning and competing and making it all about me versus you, and I embraced chaos and luck, and I was rewarded by finally having all the curses that have been laid upon me thrown aside and broken to pieces. I am a free man.
Starting point is 01:04:26 I claim this victory in the name of fairness and peace among friends. And I just want to say thank you to everyone and especially whoever coded that website that flips the coin. Thank you for making sure I finally won one. So Wade and mark don't have to keep hosting and burning through their ever shortening list of of episode ideas that i'm sure they really wish they had a lot more of none of the episodes using that coin have come out yet so they have no idea we even use their website for the coin because we recorded both of those today oh well then god just wanted me to win that was just just, I just deserve it then. Anyway, I love you guys, and I feel better.
Starting point is 01:05:09 That weight has been lifted, and I feel like a new man. I'm relieved but also disappointed because it was one of the best, funniest things that has happened on this show in a long time. However, you deserve to have a break from that losing streak. No one will ever believe that wasn't just a straight- there will always be someone some conspiracy theorist who will think that we staged this we did not stage a single flip a single spin not one the last time i legitimately and fairly won an episode of this podcast was on april 24th 2023 when i won the riddles and rhymes episode where i was the only competitor it has been a while what did you have prior to that the one the last win i had before that was on april 17th the million dollars but episode hosted by mark i
Starting point is 01:06:00 won that one so april 17th when does this one air that we just recorded? Do we know? 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 episodes later, I have finally won. That is an entire month of two episodes a week, plus a few that I did not successfully win an episode of this podcast. I thought I had a really long streak before, but mine was a really long streak time wise because you only do one episode a week yours was i think longer and it was during the two episode a week time period this has been unparalleled on our show but it's finally over i truly am the goat of losing episodes yes but not anymore now one of us will be mark what's your loser speech speaking of losing thank goodness i was really running out of ideas uh to come into a new episode man we've hosted a lot yeah so i'm
Starting point is 01:06:52 glad to be off the chopping block for a bit and i can't wait to see how fair and if definitely bob won't make himself win again i hope bob wins his own episode. We both need some time off, man. Just wait and see. You'll see how fair it is. It'll be the most fair. I don't like the way he's saying that, but don't even worry about it. It's very fair. I accept this loss graciously with lots of grace and graciousness.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Good episode, boys. I can't believe it was one point apart and you still wanted the coin flip, but I'm glad the fate smiled upon you today. The wheel too. Both of those had never really gone your way. I feel very vindicated. I was very lucky that that happened and I could have thrown it all away once again,
Starting point is 01:07:35 like an idiot, but I feel very satisfied. What a big catharsis. I'm good. I'm happy. I'm excited. Yeah, and I cannot honestly reiterate enough. None of this was staged every coin flip was the only attempt for each particular one
Starting point is 01:07:50 it wasn't like we were like just flip it till he loses no it was all legitimate and the statistic I don't even know what the odds are of it happening the way it did we don't need to explain how much of a loser I am anymore. God, fate hated you
Starting point is 01:08:06 for a long time. It's okay. Yep, no. Never seen worse luck in my life. Well, now that it's broken, I should definitely place a very large bet on something or buy a lottery ticket or whatever. Yes, lose everything on a different bet.
Starting point is 01:08:22 I'm a lucky man now. I have the luck. So I'll look forward to that. Next episode, I'll tell you how I won. And for all of you at home, you can watch Bob's other bad luck at MySkirm on Twitch and YouTube. You can find Mark at Markiplier. I'm Wade. You can find me at LordMinion777 or Minion777.
Starting point is 01:08:39 We have merch for the podcast that hopefully is restocked. Oh, it's definitely by this point in time. It must be restocked. Store.destructfulpulqueus.com. I don't know what happened to me there, but that's the website. Look forward to the next episode where Bob will legitimately host for the first time in a month. Stay tuned for that. Congrats again.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Until next time, podcast out.

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