Distractible - It's Mark's Birthday (Part 2)

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

Happy Birthday Mark! To celebrate, we made some non-artificially dyed punch that you can soak up with your balls! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:29 Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Wavering Wade detects dicks and initiates an inquiry about inbebbing in the Uncanny Valley. Mamed Mark massages his manliness with special sperm and suggests soaking testes. Bitter-weed bob of the butthole son instantly betrays his buddy, roasts the rabbit, and annihilates atrocious AI. From mystery mild-cardio mess-ups to helpful Houdini's,
Starting point is 00:01:59 yes, it's time for It's Mark's Birthday. Part Two. Ha ha ha ha haaaas. It's time for it's Mark's birthday part two Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of distractable I'm today's host Wade why because I could remember things a little bit better than mark last week from what we were supposed to learn From Bob, but if he asked us to get right now, I wouldn't remember any of it. I'm joined. Well, I just mentioned him. Mark and Bob. Hello. Hello.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I remember several of the answers because it was really fucking funny. Do you remember the battle in... The Battle of Hastings? Okay, you're just going to give him the answer, man. No, that's Hadrian's Wall. Oh, yeah. No the wall right What do I do if I my arm hurts You turn it off and on again get an icy hot. That's weird. My left arm hurts. You sleep on it funny You punch it. I don't know kind of hurts to move it around a bit or something I don't know. It feels like I got restless arm. Was it SpongeBob that had an episode where he had like
Starting point is 00:03:09 the arm that was just like going its own thing and carrying him around places? What show was that? Rocco's Modern Life. Was it Rocco? Sure. It's actually Hey James Franco. Someone out there knows what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:03:20 It had like the anchor tattoo, the big buff arm. Was it Rick and Morty? Cause then they go into like the Mad Max area and they're like fighting and killing people with it. I think it was Rick and Morty. Honestly, I don't know anything outside of like the first season of Rick and Morty. I'm gonna be totally honest. Yeah, I don't watch it. Anyway, what do I do? My arm hurts. What doesn't really hurt? It's more like it's like a discomfort. Does it hurt like your bone hurts or like your muscles hurt? It's like a deep throbbing vein pain you know like it's a pressure also feels like an elephant sitting on my chest oh what's up oh no you're probably fine I wouldn't
Starting point is 00:03:54 worry about it how's your breathing is that normal I kind of like it's a hurts to breathe deep do you feel your shoulder huh yeah I feel it I feel it really good like a not good, but I feel a lot Does Wade not get what we're not saying or are you in on this? I can't tell that's a good question I guess I'll give you a point for not telling you too. I gotta say Wade It's important that you know what marks hinting yet. Yeah, it's very important It's for all of us me especially but all three of us Yeah, my intention is only to worry the audience for you know, the random reasons that I make them worry. Do you,
Starting point is 00:04:25 do you know what left arm pain and chest tightness means, Wade? I know what left shoulder numbness means. Okay. That's what does that mean? Isn't that whenever you are about to have a heart attack? Left shoulder numbness is maybe also part of it. The more obvious ones is if you're left arm pain and chest tightness, not numbness. Left arm pain and numbness, the numbness is part of it.
Starting point is 00:04:51 But more specifically, the pain and such is. Nah, you know what? That's good enough. Mark's fine, he's young, he's fine. Yeah, no, I don't know why, but I've had this like, it's not pain and it's not a heart attack everybody. I've checked and I have a physical scheduled. Because ever since I got shingles, I've been paranoid because they say it stays to one side of the body,
Starting point is 00:05:15 but they say in super rare cases it can jump across to the other side of the body. You would have seen that though, shingles are big. Well, are we talking like tile or asphalt? I was thinking the new solar roof shingles, you know So I can generate electricity as I you got the Tesla shingles. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was hoping for But you know, damn I just got the pox shingles Well, and you were us you had to spray not spray paint you had to water your your solar panels Yep, it didn't work. So Amy bought a mop and I'm gonna go there I'm gonna mop my I'm gonna mop my
Starting point is 00:05:50 So what you really want to do is get a pressure washer and put the highest pressure nozzle on it will not damage the solar Panels almost guarantee it but that'll get them clean or you get that spray you put on your windshield that keeps the water from like Oh, yeah, you should rain X your solar panels. That'll fix it. Okay, alright, I like that. That doesn't help my shoulder though. Oh, I can't do anything for that. Uh, take some aspirin. Call your doctor. You should pain-ex your shoulder?
Starting point is 00:06:15 Is there such a thing as restless arm syndrome? Because that's what it feels like. Feels like I can't relax my arm. Also, I'm so out of shape, I had a horrible awakening of how out of shape I was. Restless arm syndrome, RAS, is a variant of restless leg syndrome that causes a feeling of discomfort in the upper limbs. Symptoms can include aching or burning, urge to move the arm, involuntary jerky motion, tingling, numbness, numb, numb, numbness, numb.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Is it worse at night or when you're trying to relax? It's, whenever. Does it cause sleep disturbances or loss of sleep? Oh yeah. Well, I don't know. It's just like right now. I think it's just because I'm super out of shape. I did about 25 squats last Friday, and my legs are still, still incredibly sore.
Starting point is 00:06:57 I have to hobble around the house. I don't know how this happened. I used to be a very, very in shape kind of person. This is no longer the case. And then yesterday I rode my bike. I finally got on the old e-bike again and then I rode my sweet custom Super 73 around town. Which we all got for being on the best podcast on earth. Absolutely. It was exhilarating. And then until I had to go back uphill, then it was less exhilarating even at the
Starting point is 00:07:25 highest you know setting of assistance. The hills in LA they do be hillin' um they very big hill so that was unpleasant. I'm less in shape than you are generally and at any given moment in our lives I think that's always been true but I had that once one time I did a workout and had exactly what you're describing yeah I did like a bunch of lunges and squats and it was like heavy leg workout. I was sore for like two weeks. It was the weird, because I always get sore after a workout.
Starting point is 00:07:53 That's normal, especially if you're not in shape. But that was like, I thought I was dying. I like couldn't walk for a few days. I don't know what that means. Are you magnesium deficient or something? Do you need more? I don't know, probably not getting enough protein. I don't know, something like that. You need more butthole sun? How much butthole sun do you get?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. What about blood of the youth? Have you gotten a blood of the youth transfused lately? I've gotten actually a higher than average amount of blood of the youth, but you know, I just think that it might not be enough. I think I gotta youth it up a little more. Maybe they weren't young enough. You need more youthiness. Yeah, okay. How young do you think? I mean, as long as... as young as you can get, I guess. I don't... Fresh? Yeah, fresh? You thinking fresh?
Starting point is 00:08:35 Fresh... fresh would be ideal. Well, what if it gets mixed in with, you know, the old blood around it? No, there's a... there's a blood barrier. As long as you get it from the right source. You can't do that, it's fine. Anyway, yeah, so no shoulder solutions? I have, I know, I got this cream with a lot of camphor in it. What's that? It's camphor.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Oh, okay. For your cams. Say it louder. Camphor! No, that makes sense, because your bottom half, like your legs and your glutes and stuff, those are your yams.. So it makes sense your arms and your shoulders are your cams I could go get that but then I'd have to leave this
Starting point is 00:09:11 Small talk and I could lose some points and a handshake could happen So I can't we won't handshake that we won't handshake that we won't I offer you a handshake deal that we will not offer Are you oh, there we go. All right, I'm gonna go get my cam for all right Are you up? There we go. All right. I'm gonna go get my cam for all right Wait do you want to make a handshake deal? I don't know. It should be something funny though What a dummy he left Should I just give you a point from now on every time mark brings up the shoulder the rest of this episode every Every time Mark is suspicious that we made a handshake deal that give me a point. Okay, I can do that You know, it's good. He's gonna continue this bit now where he makes that face. He makes where his all
Starting point is 00:09:53 This is just giving mark what he deserves Anything happen? No. All right. I got my cam for does that wait does that count Wade? No, don't do that don't do that thing where you like, does that count? Oh, I think that was one! Oh, that was two! Ah, ah, okay, alright. I think that was two! I was concentrating! Eeeeh!
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah, okay, alright, I don't believe you. I got tuba goo, and I'm gonna goo my shoulder up real good, so don't- Editors, put in that sexy song Uh huh oh was that five oh that's five isn't it I better not be actually falling into something I swear No well I could tell you we didn't make a handshake deal while you were gone Mark We didn't it's on video you can watch for yourself later We're gone, Mark. Uh... Well... Well... Well... Well... We didn't.
Starting point is 00:10:47 It's on video. You can watch for yourself later. This apparently has full spectrum hemp flower extract. Dude, is your shoulder getting high? Maybe that's why your arm's been doing whatever it wants. Your arm's high as fuck right now. What in the fuck are these ingredients? Butyra...
Starting point is 00:11:00 Butyrospermum. A beauty sperm. My sperm's gonna be so pretty no No, you're spreading beauty sperm on your skin All right. Well, it's getting put to good use I guess if it works it works if it works or look I don't care where this horse semen came from. I want it on my arm. Are you put enough of those on your shoulder? You'll be ready to swim in no time. Sorry, everybody gotta get under, you know?
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah, sorry. Oh my bad, everyone! Just gotta make sure I really get the spot. It's so sore, you know, so sore. Actually, Mark, while you've got your arm available, can you tell me, do you happen to know which way the library is? Oh yeah, it's... Oh yeah, it's... Oh yeah it's... That way? You could lie for the bit. Does that have to be real life accurate? Well why would I give you wrong directions? Just because I'm flexing doesn't mean I want to mislead you.
Starting point is 00:11:56 You're smart and strong, okay? All in all, I'm really hoping that I don't have the mysterious rare case of shingles crossing over because I looked up and apparently there's a shingles vaccine, but you can you're only allowed to get it if you're over 50. Can't you just buy it and have someone put it in there? What kind of rule is that? I couldn't get Bosley until I was 35 or 40. Well, who would need that before they were 35 or 40?
Starting point is 00:12:24 That's what I say. Was that one? Maybe. Anyway, so my, was that my small talk? Probably. What else could you have going on? You're not making a movie anymore. I try, I'm trying to avoid food coloring of all types.
Starting point is 00:12:39 So you only eat beige food now? Where do you buy non-colored tomatoes? Do you think that they, do they color fruit? I'm sorry. Do you mean you're trying to avoid artificial food now? Where do you buy non-colored tomatoes? Do you think that they, do they color fruit? I'm sorry, do you mean you're trying to avoid artificial food coloring? Yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah, artificial. Oh, okay, because I was like, all food has color, Mark. Ah, you're right, you're right.
Starting point is 00:12:54 What are you eating, squid ink? Well, it does now, but back in the 40s and 50s, it was in black and white. For the listeners, I'm pointing, I'm pointing at Wade as if he's made a good point. I'm like, uh. There's nobody, as soon as they heard you were flexing on camera, everyone tuned into the video.
Starting point is 00:13:10 You guys can flex too. You look so sad, Wade. Why do you look so sad? Man, I look like I'm 50. I'm bald. What do I have to flex about? By body weight, you probably have more muscle than I do. You probably have a better bicep flex than I do Wade Like I you would marker and competition, but I guarantee you have a better one than I do Yeah flex do it. I gotta save that for later to keep people tuned in here. I'll go first My right arm is my bad arm by the way. Oh
Starting point is 00:13:39 Hell yeah, oh Hell yeah that yeah, that's it where I'm at the library is over there You're gonna want to take a left. That's where the regional branches over there, but if you want the large Was that a thing full of liquid dumping onto a thing powered by electricity or are we good no It's just a light fell. I've got this light bar. I was really hoping mid scream. It would just be the old, what frozen Mark is disconnected. That's, that's really tingly.
Starting point is 00:14:10 The cam for tingling is probably good. Are you having numbness? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Super numb. Actually it's like this has cam for 3% menthol 10% methyl salicylate 10%. What's that? Salicylic acid.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It's a topical analgesic I gave you one heart attack point mark if you actually have one on camera. I'll give you ten Thanks. Yeah, no problem. It's piss pants to can we make an official rule? It's not a guaranteed win it's just points it's like catching the snitch you get a hundred points and the game is over Yeah, if you have a technological or physical emergency on on camera while we're doing this sure you get points Technological too. Well, that's too easy. Well, like if you spill something and ruin your computer and you go out you're like And you're just go to black yeah, I would totally give you points as long as it's not to the point where we lose the footage We have to get it uploaded.
Starting point is 00:15:05 That's just annoying. I feel like Mark's done a lot of the small talk. Bob, you got some small talk stuff going on? Guys, good news. My Rabbit R1 has been shipped. The future will be in my hands in mere days. Can you say rabbit? I think of the thing you put on your TV to get cable.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Those are rabbit ear antennas. That's different. The Rabbit R1 is the future of AI technology. Is that that? No, that's not that pin thing. We talked about it though. The pin is called the, what is that called? The Rabbit is the little orange one. The humane.
Starting point is 00:15:38 The humane AI pin, yeah. The Rabbit R1 is the little orange box that's designed by those people who make cool designs, college engineering or teenage engineering, whatever that company is called. R1 is the little orange box that's designed by those people who make cool designs, college engineering or teenage engineering, whatever that company is called. Good old teenage engineers. Yeah. Anyway, the joke is, did you guys hear about all the announcements that Apple made at
Starting point is 00:15:54 their WWDC event? Yeah. They essentially just made the Rabbit R1 and similar type boxes completely pointless because Siri is just going to do all that shit that shit now as the joke I was making But i'll have my i'll have it soon and it might be able to order me door dash and apparently can't get you ubers Even though it says it can get you an uber. I don't even know what it is So what can it do that your phone can't do? It's a little discrete ai assistant thing that it connects to The internet over wi-fi is separate from your phone and doesn't interface with
Starting point is 00:16:25 your phone. It's just a discreet little AI assistant. And if you ignore the fact that it doesn't do almost any of the very small number of things that it's advertised as being able to do, if it worked as advertised, it would essentially be like what everyone wishes Siri could be, where you can just be like, hey, I've got to add a meeting to my calendar for Thursday and like book a book travel or something. And it would just, it would take input like that and be like, I've added this to your calendar. I've scheduled an Uber that will get you to your meeting, you know, 15 minutes early, blah, blah, blah. It's like a little, is Mark frozen or? Oh, no, I was reading. No, I'm fine. Keep going. What's wrong? I'm just always afraid you're frozen now.
Starting point is 00:17:05 There's a T-Rex looking at him. He's holding very still. No, but it's like a little, it's like a personal assistant, but instead of a human being, it's an AI that lives in a box. But if you look at any of the reviews for it in particular, MKBHD has a very funny review, but all of them are good because it's all the reviews are people being like, oh, it's cool. It's a little plasticky. It's orange. It's cool. Cool design. And then they try and use it. And it's only currently supposed to work with Spotify, DoorDash, Uber, and maybe one other thing are the only apps it's like integrated with. And all of the examples of people trying to do stuff, they'd be like, order me tacos on DoorDash.
Starting point is 00:17:45 And it's just like, oh, I can't do that right now. Go to doordash.com if you want to order DoorDash and like stuff like that. It's just comically. I clicked on a review from The Verge and the top line is just all the rabbit R1 does right now is make me tear my hair out. Wade, I love how whenever you say something,
Starting point is 00:18:04 like The Verge is a very well-known website that a lot of people go to. I'm not saying it's like reputable, I don't know what their quality of reporting is, but anytime you say any company, it's like, it's Apple says this, or there's some company called Microsoft that believes that, you know.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Guys, I found this new thing. It allows you to type questions into the internet and then it gives you websites that things are related to what you're looking for. It's called Goggles. Oh, I thought you meant Ask Jeeves. Jeeves still exists. It's called Jeeves now, or is it Ask Now? I picked the wrong word.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I've never heard of Verge, okay? The Verge was like the show hosted like Whoopi Goldberg and some other ladies. The Verge was, I think, a was like the show hosted like whoopie Goldberg and some other ladies. The verge was, I think a show. It's a point. Was whoopie Goldberg on it? No, the view is the one you're thinking of, but the verge was essentially, anyway, look, not important.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Okay. I never know. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm gonna like name a website or something you guys will be like, don't be like that, don't be like that, it's so bad. You can't even say the name out loud. A rubble still skittle up here. When have we ever done that? You haven't yet, but I'm always careful in case you will. All right, you get a point. You can't even say the name out loud or Rumble still skittled up here. When have we ever done that?
Starting point is 00:19:05 You haven't yet, but I'm always careful in case you will. All right, you get a point, you get a point. You know, I gotta prepare it. Like there's this other one, what's it called? Wired. Can't be trusted. They said, rabbit review, skip. Anyway, it was just a joke
Starting point is 00:19:20 because it's not artificial intelligence, it's Apple intelligence when Apple does it. They announced a bunch of AI features type stuff. Well, have you thought about getting one of the A U I's? Artificially unintelligent? I still don't get why we all just as a species skipped right over virtual intelligence and just decided to change the definition and put AGI as the next level. Virtual intelligence is such a great way to label it.
Starting point is 00:19:47 It's such a perfect encapsulation of what it is because it's not actually intelligent. It's a virtualization of intelligence. Well, if you tell people you're selling something that's not AI, they'll be like, if you tell them it's AI, it's like, oh, see, AI's got like a negative connotation now, but like five or 10 years ago, man,
Starting point is 00:20:03 if you said you had cutting edge artificial intelligence, that would have been like, holy fuck, how'd you do it? If you said you had virtual intelligence, people are like, dude, this guy down the road has AI in his coat pocket. He like opened up his jacket, he's like, you want some AI? They pulled out a bottle of AI, and I was like, oh my God, I've got AI now.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Dude, we wish AI had a negative connotation. Even, I mean, Apple is behind the game on this, right? Because they're like OpenAI and other things have been out for quite a while, quite a few years now. But even for Apple, they're jumping in. They have like, one of the things Apple announces, they have a thing where you can generative AI make emojis on the fly. They're called genmojis.
Starting point is 00:20:42 So you could be like, make me an emoji of a lizard drinking a beer on the toilet. And it'll just generative AI you a picture thing that you can then use as an emoji. One, that sounds stupid, but if people use that, whatever, that's fine. Two, even Apple is jumping the gun on AI being like, oh, we can't get left that far behind. Apple, the company who introduces features that have been on Android for over a decade as new features is already like, well, we've got to have AI, get some AI in this. It's not good. It does not have a negative enough connotation that so too many companies are still putting AI into everything. Like it's good and like it works and like it's already ready for
Starting point is 00:21:21 the market type of product. It's not. It's really not. And what's fascinating is like the whole Google thing, everyone knows about the bad Google results. But I think we're starting to see the plateau, which is I think we all knew was kind of coming. The plateau in terms of progress, in terms of the machine learning models. And like it's suddenly hit the wall of like,
Starting point is 00:21:41 oh, we don't have the hardware to make it any better. Bonk. And then it's waiting for the new generations of hardware, but those don't exactly come that fast. According to how fast things have progressed because stable diffusion three released, uh, publicly, whatever you want to call that release that they did. Sure. But they, they made a new model that was available to everybody and it is better at
Starting point is 00:22:02 understanding what you're telling it to do, but its results are actually worse, especially of people. If you, if you do the infamous example is, um, wait, let me see. Uh, if I can pull one up for you guys and share. Describe it for the listeners, Mark. If I were, if you're, you're imagine your imagination is a machine learning model, your's some arc. If I were, if you're, imagine your imagination is a machine learning model, your stable diffusion three. And I tell you to generate a picture of a man laying in a field, a field of grass,
Starting point is 00:22:34 very green grass, black button down shirt and blue jeans and white shoes. So stable diffusion, if you try to do that, it has made the ones on the right, I think the one on the left is like an older version of it, but the ones on the right are the newest version of it. Uh, the shoes are up at the top of the picture, but still with the soles pointing down. Then, two, uh, legs, I guess, emerging from the bottoms of the shoe.
Starting point is 00:22:57 From the soles of the shoe. From the soles of the shoe, going down, some wrinkles in the fabric, a large bulbous tor- It looks like a black button down shirt from behind maybe? A really big dick. Not seeing that. In the middle one? The big bulge in the middle of the two legs? Maybe. I mean that's like a collar or whatever but sure yes.
Starting point is 00:23:17 And then the head sticking out from what would be the neck hole but the top of the head is sticking out from the neck hole and then this lady's hair as a beard draped down below her decapitated head. The one on the right is about the same. If I described to something, it's the same, but it's a guy's head. Basically the same thing on the right with the guy's head. It kind of looks like the one on the right looks like an actual person was like laying on the grass and then someone like shoved something in and started sucking their like body out. It started like compressing and then the clothes were kind of left behind and then
Starting point is 00:23:52 like the hair shoved someone else's head and neck into their face. So there's just like the hair and then the face jutting out from that. It's a guy. It's a little guy climbing out of a bigger full-sized human costume And he's it's like a full all-in-one costume He's climbing out the face hole or he's just got a lot of chest hair just to like a lot He looks like a Calvin Klein models face the one in the middle comes like Angelina Jolie's face Yeah, so people are upset because the vast majority of people that use stable diffusion use it for
Starting point is 00:24:25 Making people with most likely less clothing on People are upset because the vast majority of people that use stable diffusion use it for Making people with most likely less clothing on But this isn't working and dude, I want to see a naked body formulated in that way. What the shit? It's just salt knees and dicks Well your wish is my command everyone what you're about to see is nothing because we can't show It's like body horror but also somehow body comedy Oh, it's stable diffusion 3 I see I see what they did there SD 3 this is the quality you could expect. Anyway so I think we're starting to hit that um diminishing returns threshold. I wonder
Starting point is 00:25:16 if if like they kept training it and it started to hit patches of like data that was had masks on it to corrupt AI training inputs or something or what like It's possible also they probably tried to like train some of the more explicit things out of it. So for you know, safety reasons, you know, they would probably try to eliminate some of the things from the training data or at least mask out things that would be not safe for work. That's true. I had a great uncle who was killed by boobs.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Which one? Uncle Tim. Left or right? Oh, left boob. Of course. Oh, my boob is the evil one. Anyway, so I'm not saying that it's going to get worse from here. But I think what you see is a lot of these companies just rushed to implement these things and there's just, you know, problems with it. And it's not going to get better as fast as it had in the past. Just wait for USD for unstable, right? That's what we're going to now.
Starting point is 00:26:08 I thought you were talking about universal scene description. I thought you were talking about currency 4.0 and the future of the US dollar. You guys know too many things from my jokes to work. Can you guys be dumber so I can make a joke? Whatever he's talking about, whatever joke punchline he's looking for, it's related to whatever was just said and nothing else ever. Yes. Got it.
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Starting point is 00:27:02 What does Be Love mean to you? I definitely would say my be love role model is for sure my sister. Unconditional infinite love. Something that is never ending, that you know is always there. Never questioned. Never questioned.
Starting point is 00:27:17 No matter if you fall off a cliff, she's there to catch you, you know? Be love. Shop now at Pandora.net Anyway, I'm gonna reel this in a little bit. Okay, Mark got to do a small talk for like an hour and a half and then he also You brought up that! That was all you! He also took over my small talk to talk
Starting point is 00:27:38 The stable diffusion thing was 100% Mark. Well no, that wasn't you. I guess that's true. You were the rabbit. Well, I was just throwing it in there. I didn't know it meant that wasn't you I guess that's true you were the rabbit well I was just throwing it in there I didn't know I didn't know it meant that much to you also my life is a tragedy we got our car wrapped a very nice purple wrap and somebody dinged it with their door today so that's a big tear in the wrap and we've had it for less than two weeks so I was gonna say you were just excited about getting that done look upon me with pity my very nice car has got a very surprisingly expensive
Starting point is 00:28:05 vinyl wrap on it and it's damaged now. Life is unfair. I'm sorry. That sucks. That was my personal small talk. It's fine. But I was upset about that. I have another thing that might cheer you up.
Starting point is 00:28:17 That's a TikTok update. Have you seen the latest trend of using like some, whatever AI like video generator Yes, that guy released to extend vines or to turn meme pictures into videos. I fucking love it It's so funny. Did you see the 9 plus 10 one? No. No, I don't that was actually horrifying I think I just got to pull it up on my I could probably find it if it's, if it's actually on tick tock. Actually terrifying. I don't know why. Oh God. I love it.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Yeah. What the AI usually does is have the person turn immediately and then someone else walks into frame. That's how all of these kind of like template out to be. But that would work particularly well. I love the lighting in it and how it actually like captured it. No, have you seen the one, the one of the little girl standing in front of the house on fire and then it like it zooms out a little bit and then it pans over to a couple of firefighters who are just like That one is also a very good out come but yeah, those are fucking amazing. I love it good small talk Everyone got lots of points for small talk
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'm going to get mine and save it for another episode and I'm gonna jump into okay I've got a couple things to talk about a full time to get to the mall I have a question Have you guys all played at some point in your life, some variation of a Dungeons and Dragons game? Like a tabletop RPG of some sort? Any tabletop RPG. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Sure. Yes. Yes. You guys are aware of health potion. Sure. Even I mean, you know, video games obviously have them too. Do you think a health potion would work the same worse, stronger, and or faster if butt chugged.
Starting point is 00:30:05 It would have to work faster and be slightly more effective, I think. It wouldn't grant additional effects, but butt chugging it would get the magic into your system or the whatever chemicals into your system just more effectively. Cause I tweeted this out and I've had discussions in like my D&D group about it.
Starting point is 00:30:22 And some people, there's like a very staunch number of people that Are just like keep the brand pure. We must not have but chugging. Do you know what my book says? It says Imbebe which means drink the potion I Okay, cuz this is magic right? It's magic. magic so that's debatable sometimes health potions are magical sometimes They're just alchemical made with herbs and stuff it depends feel like that's still like kind of magical yes But like they're just different it's all a question of okay is it just about getting in the bloodstream because
Starting point is 00:31:00 Then you crystallize it crush it up and snort it and yeah, that's gonna get you healthy real quick or you get it in a magical syringe and you blast it in a vein and you'll get healthy real quick. Dude, in the 80s period, TTRPG, where health potions are just little cocaine bumps that you have to do during a while, you're like, wait a second, I need a bump.
Starting point is 00:31:22 You slay the troll you get it out your potion You put it across the trolls belly grab your straw In Born it was basically the health potion was other blood that was the whole thing in the story and you had Injected right in your leg You lose some blood pump it back in which is kind of how it works today. I mean, it's not really that wrong. That's the main thing about health. You just need enough blood in there.
Starting point is 00:31:48 So it just depends on whether it needs to be digested. That's the question I have about health potions. Is it dependent? Is the imbibe so important that it needs to be digested and broken down and doesn't need to interface with all the different gut bacteria? Does it work in that capacity where there's some kind of like chemical that's extracted from your, your pancreas or your liver? Is there some other thing it's depended on?
Starting point is 00:32:11 It really depends on the system. Baldur's gate three, you can literally just throw a health potion at the ground. It'll explode and like the fumes that come up will heal you and anyone around you. Some games you have to drink it. Like you said, bloodborne, you inject it. So it really depends on the system as to. The heart of my view on this would be, if the system allows you to be healed, basically instantaneously,
Starting point is 00:32:31 if you take the health thing, however you take it, and you gain your health points back immediately, then it can't rely on digestion. If it's a thing where it's like you take this and it heals you for X amount of points over the next hour or something. Maybe but that's not how health potions tend to work. Health is a magical and or chemical thing where it's like you stab it and you're and
Starting point is 00:32:52 then you're healthy again. So it doesn't really, it's about getting whatever it is into your body. I don't know if it means it's getting it into your bloodstream necessarily, but like that's how humans work. So it's fair assumption I feel like that it needs to get into your bloodstream. So like in a video game if you heal usually a health potion heals you the same amount every time but in like D&D you roll a dice it's like oh this is a 1d4 health potion it kind of has variable effects and I was reading into this a bit and whenever you take
Starting point is 00:33:20 medicine through your mouth it's a lot more like uncertain how the absorption process will work compared to like taking medicine rectally. It's usually more consistent that way. So in my thought process is like, okay, maybe it's a 1D4 if you ingest, maybe it's just always four if you take it up the ass or maybe it's stronger. Maybe it's a 1D6. I was wondering if you needed to do like an acrobatics check or something just like if you- You don't do it during combat. I don wondering if you needed to do like an acrobatics check or something. Just like if you don't do it during combat, I don't imagine you doing this during combat. No, but it's like a thing where it's like I want to butt chuck this. It's like if you fail, you don't get any. You either you either get it in you or you spill it or something.
Starting point is 00:33:54 And so you have to do some kind of like skill check. And I feel like we're kind of glossing over the ease of butt chugging in general. Like what is is it a funnel? Are you using the glass vial? Cause that's a danger of its own. Yeah, see. A glass bottle with a tapered, as long as it's thick glass though,
Starting point is 00:34:12 that's kind of the ideal shape. But I mean, you run the, any glass. Did you clinch? That's true. No, that's true, that's true. It can be catastrophic. Maybe if you get like one of those bottle nipples on top and you like.
Starting point is 00:34:24 If you have a butt chugging funnel in your pack though, you could just get that out and use it. Maybe. But yeah, I'm thinking a funnel. I'm thinking a funnel is during like a shorter, a long rest and you have someone assisting you. You call your barbarian over to pour the potion in the funnel.
Starting point is 00:34:37 You gotta, you gotta, I need to butt chug this. I'm almost dead. You gotta come help. I don't, Gurmoth is not comfortable with that. I don't know. We got a cleric. He can come heal you. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:34:49 You have to help me. Here's my ass. Someone suggested like a Bane like Batman villain style delivery system up your butt while you're in combat. Why not just go in the veins like Bane does? Why did it have to be butt Bane? Why do you have to go in the ass still? He has things injecting into his bloodstream. That's the whole thing. That's true. That's exactly what that is
Starting point is 00:35:08 I was with you until why did they go back to butt? Maybe they did maybe I just thought but I don't know I thought maybe I'm misunderstanding how Bane's power works, you know in Batman you were born in the dark I was born in the dark Ever just has the mouth crab Molded by it Ever just has the mouth crab. Molded by it. OK, so the conclusion, the conclusion, I would say the majority have come to it. Was that a regen potion?
Starting point is 00:35:31 100% would heal faster if you butt chug it. Now, see, I would disagree with that because I feel like a regen potion is like necessitated on the digestion process because that's why it's regenerative over time. It's meant it's meant like a time release thing. And there's many time release medications that you cannot, literally cannot take rectally because it need, the breaking down of it needs to be digested.
Starting point is 00:35:52 You need your stomach acid to break down the capsule or whatever. So I would believe that regen potions would be more likely to be half to be ingested. Yeah, I guess I was imagining if you're not in combat, why would you need to butt chug it? So imagine a world where like potions are more rare, more expensive or like two of your party need heal, but you've only got one potion.
Starting point is 00:36:10 So like splitting a potion typically you can't do, but if you both butt chug half of it, maybe it does the same amount as it normally would, but you can split it. All right. Here's a different approach that I bet no one has suggested. I was watching there's this, there's this YouTuber, something emu. He's that doctor that's presenting to the emergency room. You know that guy? Lee, Mui, Mui and Doug.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, it's Lee Mui. Lee Mui Mui is YouTube channel. Yes. Yep. Yeah, that's it. Is it? So there was this case of a kid who was dared to put like an entire tube of Bengay on their balls for some reason. I don't know why, but this was what they did. And so they did it and it's like, oh, it burns, it burns, kind of like this. This whatever this is, it's got, you know, certain ingredients in there
Starting point is 00:36:53 that are meant to be absorbed. And then they they are either numbing or something like that. But the problem is the testicles are like 20 times more permeable than other skin on the body because of the blood supply So a lot more medication will actually diffuse directly into the bloodstream. Now, here's where I'm going with this What if you don't need to drink it at all? What if you soak your nuts in the health potion juice and then you will absorb you won't waste anything You don't need a butt-chug it, you could have specially designed underwear that has a whole potion just constantly in there and you'll have the healthiest balls
Starting point is 00:37:33 anyone's ever seen and it will absorb into your body. But how do you heal like your female companions? Just, it's probably the same way, probably the nether regions of most people in some way or another are more permeable because of the blood flow that goes in there. You probably need a different type of container or system for women to take advantage of that. There might be, you might need different formulations because men is all like skin on the outside which is meant to be like exterior to the body. That region for women, like what if it goes in up in? That might just be really painful or something like that would be... No it would absolutely be as
Starting point is 00:38:09 permeable because that's the other thing like that that is very permeable. I would say it's more it's probably more permeable because it's more like a mucous membrane. There was a problem where someone would would soak their tampons in like vodka and they would insert the tampon and it would absorb into the body but it Intrused so many other issues. Isn't that still better to use that in your rectum? I don't know if any of its better Let me be clear. Nobody do any of this. This is all bad for you. No, this is not advice There are no health potions vodka is not health potion
Starting point is 00:38:41 I'm saying what occurred and it was still bad all across the board with vodka specifically because microbiomes being what they are and the sensitivity of skin and alcohol actually is something that kills cells very easily, including those in the human body even though we drink it, I don't, but a lot of people drink it every day. That's also not good. Don't do that. Long story short, soaking your testes into health potion can only be good. So if we get a fountain and it's one of those fountains that like has something that pours out the health potion into like a little pool area, we could attach our female companions to the outpour sections and we can soak our balls in the
Starting point is 00:39:25 fountain portion. I'm saying everyone can just dunk in the posh- posh-coozie. I misunderstood. In the health coozie. You don't need to insert your female companions on the outpour. Was that your words? I blacked out while Wade was trying to explain whatever his thought was. The visual I had was not a good one. I think what based on what Mark is saying, that what you should really do is find a hot spring, splash your potion in there and then have everyone just get in the hot spring
Starting point is 00:39:52 and soak it up. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, that sounds nice. I feel like one vial of health potion inside of a hot tub is pretty diluted, though. Well, you got to be in there until you suck it. I don't know. It's supposed to be enjoyable, man. You just like you're healing. Everyone's open wounds in the jaw.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And the coos. All right. Well, that was my burning question of the day. Was that the topic for the episode? No, it was just a bonus topic, but I don't know how much time we have for actual topic. We had a lot of small talk. You really came to the experts to talk about that one. Well, now I've got, well, listen, I've got my social media, I've got my D&D crew. I went to five different people's live streams
Starting point is 00:40:27 while they were streaming and posed that question to them. Some of them were like, oh, I don't know. And then moved on, some of them like really debated it. But now we've got the subreddit and everyone that watches this to give me their feedback. But don't give me those like, I'm D&D is too pure to think about that kind of stuff, man. Don't ruin my D&D. You can only take a health potion through the mouth because the book says so
Starting point is 00:40:48 it's like think outside the fucking box you little bitch that's what I say to those Puritan D&D GMs out there who don't want to think about butt-chugging if we're talking about in the most practical sense you have to get healed by something and if we decide if we all decide to agree that the end goal is to get into your bloodstream which we didn't conclude but like in a lot of scenarios I feel like that's a fair conclusion about how exactly the health potion works if it's not magic if it's alchemical Probably the optimal thing to do would be to inject it Yeah, you would just you would want like an EpiPen type thing like they do in a lot of video games
Starting point is 00:41:21 Where you just get pop it out and just go like they do in a lot of video games where you just pop it out and just go just thinking about like old style dnd where it's like swords and bows and shields it's like i doubt they have syringes back then so i don't know if they have that option oh they got alchemical concoctions but they don't have syringes okay look i don't want to break the realism of the world my immersion like i feel like butt chugging makes sense in a world. It's like the cocaine thing joke that we did. If you're in like a frat pot, a frat bro world, and you're role playing, like you're at a frat party
Starting point is 00:41:53 or you're something, butt chugging kind of makes sense. That's where that happens primarily, I would assume. But if you're like in a high fantasy adventure, it makes less sense that they would do that. No, you'd have to have someone that thought of it. You'd have to have a bro in the party that It's like, yeah, bro character in the party. I feel like go for it. Role play. Probarian.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yeah, could work. Barbaro, bro. I was looking it up because I thought that maybe the eyeballs would be more permeable. But actually they're not. Cause I was thinking that like an eye wash station of potion, where you just press the lever into your eyes, but it's actually not very permeable for. And I realized like for good reasons, because it's constantly exposed to the environment. So it'd be bad if that was always permeable.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Yeah. The rectum is where it's at. Yeah. No, your eyes are like separate. I forget exactly how it works, but you're you actually your eyes are not connected into the rest of your body's immune system and stuff in the same way or whatever. Something like that. What if we can measure to see what's more permeable, like your balls or your ass? into the rest of your body's immune system and stuff in the same way or whatever. Something like that. I wonder if we can measure to see what's more permeable, like your balls or your ass. I could ask.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Let me ask. Well, it's prop weighed up upside out. We'll get one bucket of alcohol on his balls and then we'll get a hose up his ass. We'll start it all at the same time. You'll have to tell us which goes first, your balls or your ass. Where does your drunk start? Well, if you're plugging up both of my holes, they're going to come out of my mouth or my eyes or my nose or I'm going to come out of my mouth or my eyes or my nose,
Starting point is 00:43:05 or I'm going to get bigger and bigger and bigger to explode. Do you pee out of your balls? You don't. Anyway, it's, uh, most permeable membranes are the mouth, nasal passages and genital and anal regions. I guess if you put it in your mouth and just hold it there, that would also be just as good as soaking it in your in the jaw. So whenever we eat food we shouldn't swallow, we should just hold it in the mouth for a
Starting point is 00:43:29 long time. Technically, there's if you've done that in science class, if you take a saltine cracker or something like that, and you chew it in your mouth for 20 minutes, it will start to turn sweet because the enzymes in your mouth will turn it in sugar. But also, the mucus membranes in the mouth are permeable to the bloodstream. So yes, you would start to absorb things. Dude, why am I wasting my life fucking swallowing then? I should just lay down in bed, open my mouth, put in the food for the next day and be done with it. It's just fucking chipmunk cheek weight over here with all of his meat
Starting point is 00:44:00 stuffed into the sides. Turn on an audio book and just fucking mouth digest. You go to, you go to that Brazilian steakhouse and the triosco comes over and you're getting more please. I have them roll me in on like a gurney and it's ah. Wait, why can't you walk? Wait, why can't you walk? So I'm laying down. He doesn't want to have to move.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Wait, it's goal in life is to move the minimum amount possible. Okay, well here's the actual topic for today. Name some shows, movies, video games, etc. books that either should have a sequel and don't, or that shouldn't have a sequel that do. This was an idea I had, I don't know how many weeks ago, and I kind of forgot about it. So I don't remember what exactly brought it to my mind. What's something you're like, oh man, I want that sequel.
Starting point is 00:44:44 I think Half-Life 3 came to mind. Maybe it was when Abiotic Factor was coming out. I was like, dude, this is so fun. This is like our Half Life 3 we never got. What's something that got a sequel that you're like, mm, mm, mm, that's bad? Or something that didn't and you're like, where is it? Please. You know what didn't need a sequel?
Starting point is 00:45:00 Lion King. None of the subsequent Lion King moves, and I don't mean the live action remake, that's not a sequel, but there's like I think two or possibly three Lion King sequels. Yeah, they did the straight to DVD stuff. They were doing that a lot more. Those don't need to exist. Like I have no problem with those stories existing and going straight to DVD. The Lion King is a great, fantastic story, great movie, it's very beautiful. You didn't need anything else. Leave the Lion King alone and make some other animal stories if you want to do that But didn't Little Mermaid also get a sequel like that like a straight to DVD sequel. Oh, they all did they all did
Starting point is 00:45:33 Yeah, like every Disney movie if it doesn't have sequels You know about it has sequels that were straight to DVD sequels like guaranteed But I will say with Aladdin's straight to DVD sequels. Oh no, yeah, yeah. I love Return of the Jafar and I love Prince of Thieves more than the original. I liked Prince of Thieves a lot. I watched that a lot as a kid. I think about that Turtle City all the time. I know! I know! That dude being turned to gold is burned into my brain is like a horrible, horrible fate.
Starting point is 00:46:05 And it was just like, it's so visceral with like, and I loved the hand, the hand of Midas. I wanted to lick the hand because it looked like a big ice cream cone, but I was like, oh no, I can't, I turned to gold, but oh, it looks so tasty. What a movie like merch thing that would have been hand of Midas popsicles, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Oh, then why not? Yeah, it's like they want to forget about that. But those return of Jafar people and say the quality of it. You got Homer Simpson as the genie, whoever the voice actor for that. That's not good. But Robin Williams came back for Prince of Thieves. And it's like really it's not quite the same quality as original Aladdin, but it's way better than Return of Jafar in terms of quality and like actual animation and cinematic quality
Starting point is 00:46:46 No, it's like a good movie. It's good all around very good. I love that movie. I still to this day say OPEN CARAWAY Yeah, you know the fucking sheriff guy whatever he is He says that to try to open the passage and it's like I'd still to this day What's the poor dude with my hairline who's like the bad guy at the start of Prince of Thieves or whatever? Is it Prince of Thieves? Oh What is his name? With a big bottom lip Bwubububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububub Right, I get it now. I get what the name is. Abismal. Abismal. I get it, that's funny.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Oh, the King of Thieves, not the Prince of Thieves, it's the King of Thieves. It's been 20 years since I've seen it, so I, whichever one. Okay, so we got some Disney, we got good Disney, we got bad Disney. I feel like I have to put this out there because it's one that I, it's not interesting to talk about to me anymore because it's done to death, but the fact that Firefly only has one season is a tragedy. By the end of season one of Firefly, you feel, for me anyway, it feels like they found like their whole, they found the voice they were looking for.
Starting point is 00:47:56 They hit their stride, that you get to the end of the season and you're like, holy fuck, let's go. And then it's over and you're like, oh god, they had it. Because the beginning of Firefly, it's not like it's every single episode is a masterpiece. I would say they're all good. But at the beginning, you kind of take some minute if you stick with it. By the time you get to the end of that season, holy shit, it feels like they found it. They found the thing.
Starting point is 00:48:18 And the next season would have just been like, oh, just perfect. Explosive. Nope, nothing forever said. You know, I'm a very probably in the minority about this one but i actually enjoyed mass effect andromeda i was enjoying it a lot too actually i was enjoying it yeah some people would probably say like oh that's one of the sequels shouldn't have been made but i'm like i was so down with new galaxy i love the idea of going to andromeda and there were so many drop storylines that were supposed to be like pursued I'd ever actually finished the game. So what can I really say?
Starting point is 00:48:48 But there was the whole thing about the Corian arc ship didn't make it why that's weird But it's somewhere there was all these mysteries of these other races going along and I think people people were so hung up on that it Wasn't shepherd or it wasn't like the same kind of story or something like that. There was a chance to expand it, but you know, it just wasn't something. I feel like even the development of it was like, it's too big. It should have been smaller to start with because that's the problem with these sequels that try to like establish something new is like they start way too big and then they can't expand it any farther. It's already
Starting point is 00:49:22 huge and Mass Effect was already problematic because it was like a spanning storyline that was getting bigger and bigger. So I feel like it just needed to be a little more contained, but what do I know? I thought it was great. It was just kind of came out half baked. Like, I don't know if you remember when it first launched the graphics.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Spoilers, I apologize, spoilers. The character you play as loses, you know, a parent early in that game. And I remember a scene where he's talking about that. I played the male version, but he or she is talking about losing their parent. My character's eyes just started looking outward as they were like, I really miss my dad. It's like, do you? Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:49:58 How do you handle trauma? You don't just start to dissociate and your eyes go in different directions? But dude, it was really just the graphical like if they'd baked it a little bit longer They just stayed the oven a little bit longer where it didn't come out and they looked like the oh god What's that effect where you look at something human? Oh wait, but it doesn't look human uncanny Valley Yeah, it was very uncanny Valley looking at the characters like having this is a very serious conversation but like One of them like tilted their head and like smiled creepily or something. It's like no I really like that specific
Starting point is 00:50:29 shot was like a big meme for me for a minute of the one who's just like yeah with the head snap and this. So the game itself was great but it was just hard to stay in it because there were so many things that just like took you out where you weren't like still bought into the environment and you know fully invested. But no the game itself once got, if you could get past that or you know, once the, I think they patched it, updated it and made it better. But like once that you get out of that point, it was a really fun game. I really enjoyed it. It's just like, that was hard to start with whenever they give you a serious moment and they're like faces do not line up at all with what they should be with what they're saying and how
Starting point is 00:51:02 the voice acting was. And it's also like it tried to, the other issue I would have liked to see in something is not only smaller, but just like trying to not be exactly what Mass Effect was like introducing your cast of characters and your crew like as much as it's like, oh yeah, of course, that's what Mass Effect is all about. But if this is like a two and drama and a kind of thing, I kind of want it to start out more lonely. You know, kind of that's, to me, that would be the whole story of it.
Starting point is 00:51:28 And then, you know, I know that's kind of what it was of like assembling people and pulling people together, but just like go more lonely. Have people miss the crew, have people miss anyone being around and just like start from there where everything's hostile and everything, like it's not the same kind of vibe to it. And then people can't draw as many conclusions like it's not the same kind of vibe to it and then
Starting point is 00:51:45 people can't draw as many conclusions to it and miss the same things that were trying to be replicated from the original trilogy you know i think they could have done things a little bit differently with it but overall i think if they had just worked on it for another year and then released it it's like diablo 4 you know diablo 4 we did an episode and i complained about there being like no pets and other stuff and I think like the day before that episode came out Diablo was like hey look there's pets now And so I looked like a fucking idiot point being is Diablo 4 right now is actually in the best shape It's ever been in it's really fun right now But it's literally the end of their one-year anniversary of release it took them a year for their game to feel like
Starting point is 00:52:20 How it should have felt on release. It's like I don't know why it must be publishers or something, I don't know. Games just release, aren't great. And by the time they get great, everyone's given up on it. And it's like, dude, but it's so good now, you should try it. I just, I don't understand. There was something with the Diablo four team and they were like, man, people like all this stuff from Diablo three, we're better than them.
Starting point is 00:52:38 We won't use that shit. Woo. And now they're like, oh man, we should probably introduce some of that stuff they liked from Diablo three. And they're like slowly, they're introducing it as if it's new content. It's like BITCH I HAD A PET GET MY GOLD TEN YEARS AGO! What do you mean this is new content? I'm glad they're doing it but like why did it take so long?
Starting point is 00:52:55 Uh, Bob, what you got? This is a complicated one and this is sort of a half-baked idea, but since you asked this question, I've been trying to get creative with it I generally am not a big fan of games as a service. I certainly play games that are a service video games as a service is a thing that's very common there are just some games where I like the game so I want to play it even though supporting the game makes companies think that that's an okay thing to do but if there is a kind of game that I think should be a game as a service instead of constant new sequels coming out it should fucking be sports
Starting point is 00:53:26 games. There should be one Madden football. There should be one NHL game. There should be one of each of those. And it should be a game as a service where every subsequent season I don't care. I don't buy them or play that the ultimate team modes where you collect the little cards and you spend your V bucks on whatever. You mean their money making will start. They can do that. I think that's bullshit, but people like there are tons of people who love that and spend all their money on it and like they're adults.
Starting point is 00:53:54 They could spend their money on that if they want to. I just want to own like I play sports games, but I play them to just play like franchise mode where it's like, I want to play a season as my favorite hockey team. I don't care if they suck. I'm playing a season as the Blue Jackets right now in NHL. They're awful. They were one of the worst teams in the league last year. They're awful in the game.
Starting point is 00:54:13 It's really hard to win, but it's fun. It's teams as the players. I enjoy it as a hobby. I don't want to have to keep buying new titles every year just to get a new the new updates to the game because it to get a new the new updates to the game because it's not a new game it's the exact same code with at best incremental updates to parts of it it should be a game it should have no sequels there should be a game as a service version of all the EA sports
Starting point is 00:54:37 games and I would probably still buy a season pass or whatever like I would want if there was a new thing like they had a new game mode or they changed how something worked. I'd give them money every once in a while even. It's not even that. Like that does suck, but that's just the world we live in. Just doesn't need to be a sequel. I don't need that. That's a stupid way to do it. And run it as a game as a service, make your money on microtransactions and just let me go and play my little offline seasons that I like to play where I don't want the online stuff. I don't want the collecting cards. I don't want any of that shit. I'm going to pretend I'm a hockey player for 40 minutes while I sit here and relax.
Starting point is 00:55:10 That's fair because it is really annoying. It's like, ah, Madden. Cause I don't know if you remember, but Madden, like, I don't know over 10 years ago they had Madden 25. It was like the 25th anniversary of Madden. And now it's like, now they have Madden 25. Madden 20, 25 has to come up. They're like, oh, Madden 25. And it's like, didn't I, well hold on, didn't we already have that title? How does a game that has gear-based naming
Starting point is 00:55:31 still have confusing titles? What happened? And what's strange is like, this is EA that does this, right? That's EA. Doesn't EA also own The Sims? Yes. They know, yeah, I think it's still EA that owns The Sims. They know how to do this. You release one per generation and then you sell expansion packs, DLC for crazy money, insane amounts of money.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Yeah, we're still on Sims 4, right? Which released in 2014, 10 years ago, we're still on Sims 4, they just keep putting expansions out for it and everything. Why don't they do that with the the sports games? It is an impossible cycle to put out a new novel game every year, especially of that caliber. It's impossible. All they're doing is incremental updates. They're wasting resources doing that. They would make more money and people would be happier if it's the same game and you release DLC for it. And this is a thing where I know people are out there like, well, just don't buy the new one. And I don't always. I played NHL 22 for a few years and I just like in the last year at some point, I got NHL 24 because I wanted the new one.
Starting point is 00:56:34 It's not really any different. That's not the point. The point is at some point they deprecate support for the past games. At some point, if you have, I couldn't just have a copy of NHL 2019 and still be getting the new rosters and still like there's a new team in the league now. I wanna have the Seattle Kraken in my game. The old games that predate the Kraken existing, they don't just go back and add that in,
Starting point is 00:56:57 you just don't have that. I'm not saying that it makes sense to buy the game every single year and I know people do that and I don't own every single one, but I would rather have all the seasonal updates where it's like, oh, there's a new team and this team redesigned their jerseys and I want all of that stuff, which is I would happily pay some seasonal fee for instead of just having to get a new game to get all these tiny little meaningless features that I just want because I'm a fan of the league
Starting point is 00:57:21 and the sport. I get that it's stupid. I'm not arguing that. I'm sure there's people out there who are like, oh, you stupid, you pay EA money, you're a goober. I get it, but I like hockey. This guy's some kind of stupid, you're a goober. College football's coming back for the first time
Starting point is 00:57:36 in 10 years this year. And it looks just awful. And it's only releasing on console. It's not having a PC release. And I feel like there was another big negative thing to it too that I can't remember off the top of my head. So far what I've heard the gameplay engine is hilariously. Like people assumed it would just be Madden,
Starting point is 00:57:51 but with college skins, somehow it's a different gameplay engine and all the physics and tackling is all janky as fuck and hilarious. Well, it's been, they're a little rusty. It's been 10 years since they've had a working football game. Yeah, they haven't been making football games this whole time.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It's a totally new thing. I will say everyone hates Madden 24 with like, everyone I see that plays Madden 24 is just always bitching about how horrible it is. I was watching a guy play, he was doing like a, called a rebuild of the Bengals, and at one point he hops, like he's like simming a game or whatever,
Starting point is 00:58:19 then he hops into play and he's on defense, and Joe Burrow is lined up at EdgeRusher. One of the offensive linemen is playing corner, and he's on defense and Joe Burrow is lined up at edge rusher one of the offensive linemen is playing corner and he's like what is happening like you just see the entire Bengals offense trying to play defense and it's going horribly wrong apparently imagine 24 which is like the 30th installment of this game still doesn't know how to fucking work there are times you go to level up your player like you'll unlock skill points to level up your player and it'll show the player standing there with like three ghost people also standing in the same spot so it'll be like some
Starting point is 00:58:53 horrible like ghost amalgamation it's supposed to be the player you're leveling up. Maybe they just unlocked wraith form and didn't remember that would be a really useful football skill I feel like. I love Joe Burroughs wraith form. Mark I'm sorry you're gonna say something? No no I never. How's your shoulder? It's better now it's actually way way better that stuff worked it's tingly. Oh that's good Bob. Oh. Well that's better. Why wouldn't I why would I think that wasn't directed at me the guy who was talking about a shoulder from the very beginning of an episode I thought you cared you thought wrong you goober you goober no no take those points away I don't want them I didn't give you any oh I just thinks everything's about him man
Starting point is 00:59:41 imagine you're in Ottawa strolling through artistic landscapes at the National Gallery of Canada. Oh. Then cycling past Parliament Hill. Ah. Before unwinding on an outdoor patio. Oh. Then spending an evening on a cruise along the historic Rideau Canal. Ah.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Exploration awaits in Ottawa. From oh to ah. Plan your Ottawa itinerary at autowatourism.ca. Oh, eco-friendly towels? They're quick dry. Yeah, you know, Homesense always has a lot of great towels. Let me see that. Quick dry. Will it dry quickly enough that I won't notice when you use my towel? Okay, that happened once. Maybe more than once.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Anyways, these are only $13. $13? Okay. Let's get you this navy one. And for me, this soft beige one. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. All right, I should probably wrap this up. I've got other things we could talk about.
Starting point is 01:00:41 I'm sure there's other games and movies and things, but I'm gonna call it, we can always have a part two. You know, we do that sometimes. You always say that. Oh no, I thought I just realized something, but we're not. The Sims 2 came out in 2004, but the Sims 3 came out in 2009. This is Sims 4 now, right?
Starting point is 01:00:56 I know, well, Sims 4 came out in 2014, so it's been 10 years, so I was like, Sims 5? Probably not. Or do for one, but like, I don't know. I don't know how much it changes from version, like I don't know how much 10 years would change in a game like that, maybe. I feel like they could fundamentally add a lot
Starting point is 01:01:11 to the game from what it was in 2014, but also no one cares. They'll just keep releasing updates. Think of all the AI features they could cram into there. AI conversations in, what's their language called? Simlish. Simlish. Simlish. Simoleon.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Anyway, that's it, that's the episode. Oh yeah, I forgot. Ryan, our friend Ryan, the only Ryan. Fuck you. Oh. Wow. I don't know, I wrote down a note. I talked to Ryan and he was like,
Starting point is 01:01:38 what are you gonna do, call me out in your podcast again? And I was like, you know what, I fucking will. So I wrote down in my notes, shout out Ryan, but like mean. All all right mission accomplished. It's a new segment. Are we airing grievances? I don't really have any grievances I just said I was gonna be mean to him. So that was that yeah, let me tabulate our points here mark I've got shoulder t-rex flex Errder-der-der. What's this thing? What? Heart attack, heart attack. Um, dalga diffusion, stable diffusion.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Aladdin abysmal, Tic-Tac mass effect. And you've got 12 points. That's not very many points. Bob, I've got for two weeks. Flex rabbit RL. R1. Cardinged flexing flex firefly that's it finally firefly Lion King sports games which has you at 10 however I've also cut handshake points for Bob which is not we didn't make a handshake deal
Starting point is 01:02:40 no handshake deal however every time Mark thought there was a handshake deal. No handshake deal. However, every time Mark thought there was a handshake deal, I agreed to give Bob points and Mark you literally six times. How is that not a handshake deal? Because there was no handshake deal. I didn't I didn't give him anything. He just offered to do that. How is that not an agreement made outside of me knowing about it? What am I going to disagree when he brings that up?
Starting point is 01:03:05 You know what? You know what? G-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh- Your shoulder? It's all better now. Oh cool. Well, um, Bob, you still have more points, so... What did I change then? Oh god, what did I change? Oh. Oh no! What are we gonna, what are we gonna see in the future? I don't know, I don't know, what did I do? Everyone stay tuned, next week should be the biannual Distractable Plane episode, so stay tuned for that, and I guess uh, I will be hosting. Uh guess I'll be hosting. Good. What? No that's what we all said. I was
Starting point is 01:03:49 implying that's what he changed it was a funny joke. I know I'm just being upset I was gonna okay well. Alright well Bob you win you have a winner speech. Somehow winning in this way feels less sweet than it used to I'm not gonna give it back it's my win, fair and square. But I do feel bad, so hopefully that makes you feel better about it, Mark. Ah, if it makes you feel any better before Mark gives his loser speech, I was giving Mark like easier points
Starting point is 01:04:15 the rest of the way to try to make it more interesting. So I did try to balance it back out. You were just, you're just better, Bob. Mark literally counted to six in his bit about talking about it and we were like, well. It was a low scoring game so it was hard to make up six points but he I was trying to give him as many points as I could. Did you give him any heart you gave him heart attack points even right? I mean oh yeah heart attacks on here shoulder and heart attack he got it twice technically. So if I have a heart
Starting point is 01:04:39 attack. That's ten points and you will win right now. That's ten points and you'll win right now. Either do that or have a loser's speech. One of the two is up to you. Editor, show Mark his bank accounts all at zero. Well, it wouldn't do anything to me. Have Mark flex and show nothing. Ah! Oh, wait, yeah, wait. You are gonna flex. You have to flex now. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:02 Is that flexing? Are we all doing it? All right, is it my turn yeah, did you have a heart attack? No, I say yes I'll give you two points for telling the truth you still lose Honestly, honestly gets you nowhere kids take that lesson with you. Anyway, my turn. Yeah, it's your turn. It's your turn You're up. All right before mark gives his louis's speech though If anyone out there knows who Dini not the songs the Magician yeah, if anyone knows him personally, that's cool and all but not what I'm interested in if anyone knows who Dini the software Very well post on the subreddit. I need I need some guidance and I'm not talking like hey you've dabbled in it
Starting point is 01:05:49 I need someone that's like I have five years of experience in the field. This isn't a job offer I'll compensate you for your time. I get I don't know It's not a job. I just need some advice. It's a paid job, but not a job Is that what it is? I just need some advice. And then when I get that advice, I'm gonna kick you to the curb. It's called consulting.
Starting point is 01:06:11 So if you guys wanna do that, do that. Also just feel free to offer Mark any unsolicited advice you would like also on the subreddit. Can someone give me guidance on how not to get goofed so hard? I seem to be getting goofed a lot. Hope you don't get goofed. That's it, that's the episode.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Good small ending, beach. I think I'm having a stroke. Does your arm hurt? Not you, Mark. Happy anniversary wedding everyone. Don't remember that reference? That was a reference to Antonio Brown's little like videos he used to do. We talked about this on like three peens. I thought you were referencing that because this episode I think literally comes out on mine and Mandy's 10 year wedding anniversary I don't know when this comes out, but does it? Oh god is it my birthday episode and I lose Mark Yeah, that's true mark happy birthday does that mean he has to win because it's his birthday is that like how life works or no It's too late. He declared the speeches were given the speeches were given but I feel like until the host gives up power by ending the episode
Starting point is 01:07:09 Those basically can do whatever the hell they choose No, we that was actually part of the rules We agreed to is you can't yeah once the speeches are given then it's impossible to change I'm pretty sure anyway, but it's like when the speeches are given then it's final We could throw out the rule book entirely and I could give you points and you could win I'm the host I have the power right now to do it. No, we we resolve that power Yeah, but together but individually I can still claim it back. I kept mine. I didn't throw it away I kept in the box just in case
Starting point is 01:07:41 Happy birthday mark. Happy birthday, loser. Thank you. You're welcome. Hope it was good. Happy anniversary of wedding Bob and Mandy. I guess it takes two to yeah, she's part of it. She gets it. It's just the hurt.
Starting point is 01:07:55 She's here too. Yeah, I guess. Stay tuned for the next one. Y'all or Bob will host, you know, for his his anniversary. He deserves it for his Mark's birthday. He deserved this win. If you haven't already go check check out Bob, my skirm, Mark, Markiplier, me, Minion777,
Starting point is 01:08:07 or LordMinion777, and I guess we'll see you next one. We have merch. StoreDestractableStore.com. Until next time, podcast out. Happy birthday, boss.

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