Distractible - It's Mark's Birthday (Part 2)
Episode Date: June 28, 2024Happy Birthday Mark! To celebrate, we made some non-artificially dyed punch that you can soak up with your balls! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable.
This episode, Wavering Wade detects dicks and initiates an inquiry about inbebbing
in the Uncanny Valley. Mamed Mark massages his manliness with special sperm
and suggests soaking testes.
Bitter-weed bob of the butthole son
instantly betrays his buddy, roasts the rabbit,
and annihilates atrocious AI.
From mystery mild-cardio mess-ups to helpful Houdini's,
yes, it's time for It's Mark's Birthday.
Part Two. Ha ha ha ha haaaas. It's time for it's Mark's birthday part two
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of distractable
I'm today's host Wade why because I could remember things a little bit better than mark last week from what we were supposed to learn
From Bob, but if he asked us to get right now, I wouldn't remember any of it.
I'm joined. Well, I just mentioned him. Mark and Bob.
Hello. Hello.
I remember several of the answers because it was really fucking funny.
Do you remember the battle in... The Battle of Hastings?
Okay, you're just going to give him the answer, man.
No, that's Hadrian's Wall. Oh, yeah. No the wall right
What do I do if I my arm hurts
You turn it off and on again get an icy hot. That's weird. My left arm hurts. You sleep on it funny You punch it. I don't know kind of hurts to move it around a bit or something
I don't know. It feels like I got restless arm.
Was it SpongeBob that had an episode where he had like
the arm that was just like going its own thing
and carrying him around places?
What show was that?
Rocco's Modern Life.
Was it Rocco?
Sure.
It's actually Hey James Franco.
Someone out there knows what I'm talking about.
It had like the anchor tattoo, the big buff arm.
Was it Rick and Morty?
Cause then they go into like the Mad Max area and they're like fighting and killing people with
it. I think it was Rick and Morty. Honestly, I don't know anything outside of like the first
season of Rick and Morty. I'm gonna be totally honest. Yeah, I don't watch it. Anyway, what do
I do? My arm hurts. What doesn't really hurt? It's more like it's like a discomfort. Does it hurt
like your bone hurts or like your muscles hurt? It's like a deep throbbing vein pain you know like it's a pressure also feels like an
elephant sitting on my chest oh what's up oh no you're probably fine I wouldn't
worry about it how's your breathing is that normal I kind of like it's a hurts
to breathe deep do you feel your shoulder huh yeah I feel it I feel it
really good like a not good, but I feel a lot
Does Wade not get what we're not saying or are you in on this? I can't tell that's a good question
I guess I'll give you a point for not telling you too. I gotta say Wade
It's important that you know what marks hinting yet. Yeah, it's very important
It's for all of us me especially but all three of us
Yeah, my intention is only to worry the audience for you know, the random reasons that I make them worry. Do you,
do you know what left arm pain and chest tightness means, Wade?
I know what left shoulder numbness means.
Okay. That's what does that mean?
Isn't that whenever you are about to have a heart attack?
Left shoulder numbness is maybe also part of it.
The more obvious ones is if you're left arm pain
and chest tightness, not numbness.
Left arm pain and numbness, the numbness is part of it.
But more specifically, the pain and such is.
Nah, you know what?
That's good enough.
Mark's fine, he's young, he's fine.
Yeah, no, I don't know why, but I've had this like,
it's not pain and it's not a heart attack everybody.
I've checked and I have a physical scheduled.
Because ever since I got shingles, I've been paranoid because they say it stays to one side of the body,
but they say in super rare cases it can jump across to the other side of the body.
You would have seen that though, shingles are big.
Well, are we talking like tile or asphalt? I was thinking the new solar roof shingles, you know
So I can generate electricity as I you got the Tesla shingles. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was hoping for
But you know, damn I just got the pox shingles
Well, and you were us you had to spray not spray paint you had to water your your solar panels
Yep, it didn't work. So Amy bought a mop and I'm gonna go there
I'm gonna mop my I'm gonna mop my
So what you really want to do is get a pressure washer and put the highest pressure nozzle on it will not damage the solar
Panels almost guarantee it but that'll get them clean or you get that spray you put on your windshield that keeps the water from like
Oh, yeah, you should rain X your solar panels. That'll fix it.
Okay, alright, I like that.
That doesn't help my shoulder though.
Oh, I can't do anything for that.
Uh, take some aspirin. Call your doctor.
You should pain-ex your shoulder?
Is there such a thing as restless arm syndrome?
Because that's what it feels like.
Feels like I can't relax my arm.
Also, I'm so out of shape, I had a horrible awakening of how out of shape I was.
Restless
arm syndrome, RAS, is a variant of restless leg syndrome that causes a feeling of discomfort
in the upper limbs. Symptoms can include aching or burning, urge to move the arm, involuntary
jerky motion, tingling, numbness, numb, numb, numbness, numb.
Is it worse at night or when you're trying to relax?
It's, whenever.
Does it cause sleep disturbances or loss of sleep?
Oh yeah.
Well, I don't know. It's just like right now.
I think it's just because I'm super out of shape.
I did about 25 squats last Friday,
and my legs are still, still incredibly sore.
I have to hobble around the house.
I don't know how this happened.
I used to be a very, very in shape kind of person.
This is no longer the case. And then yesterday I rode my bike.
I finally got on the old e-bike again and then I rode my sweet custom Super 73 around town.
Which we all got for being on the best podcast on earth.
Absolutely. It was exhilarating. And then until I had to go back uphill,
then it was less exhilarating even at the
highest you know setting of assistance. The hills in LA they do be hillin' um they very big hill so
that was unpleasant. I'm less in shape than you are generally and at any given moment in our lives
I think that's always been true but I had that once one time I did a workout and had exactly what
you're describing yeah I did like a bunch of lunges and squats
and it was like heavy leg workout.
I was sore for like two weeks.
It was the weird,
because I always get sore after a workout.
That's normal, especially if you're not in shape.
But that was like, I thought I was dying.
I like couldn't walk for a few days.
I don't know what that means.
Are you magnesium deficient or something?
Do you need more?
I don't know, probably not getting enough protein. I don't know, something like that.
You need more butthole sun? How much butthole sun do you get?
Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.
What about blood of the youth? Have you gotten a blood of the youth transfused lately?
I've gotten actually a higher than average amount of blood of the youth, but you know,
I just think that it might not be enough. I think I gotta youth it up a little more.
Maybe they weren't young enough. You need more youthiness.
Yeah, okay. How young do you think?
I mean, as long as... as young as you can get, I guess. I don't...
Fresh? Yeah, fresh? You thinking fresh?
Fresh... fresh would be ideal.
Well, what if it gets mixed in with, you know, the old blood around it?
No, there's a... there's a blood barrier. As long as you get it from the right source. You can't do that, it's fine.
Anyway, yeah, so no shoulder solutions?
I have, I know, I got this cream
with a lot of camphor in it.
What's that?
It's camphor.
Oh, okay.
For your cams.
Say it louder.
Camphor!
No, that makes sense,
because your bottom half, like your legs
and your glutes and stuff, those are your yams.. So it makes sense your arms and your shoulders are your cams
I could go get that but then I'd have to leave this
Small talk and I could lose some points and a handshake could happen
So I can't we won't handshake that we won't handshake that we won't I offer you a handshake deal that we will not offer
Are you oh, there we go. All right, I'm gonna go get my cam for all right
Are you up? There we go. All right. I'm gonna go get my cam for all right
Wait do you want to make a handshake deal?
I don't know. It should be something funny though
What a dummy he left Should I just give you a point from now on every time mark brings up the shoulder the rest of this episode every Every time Mark is suspicious that we made a handshake deal that give me a point. Okay, I can do that
You know, it's good. He's gonna continue this bit now where he makes that face. He makes where his all
This is just giving mark what he deserves
Anything happen? No. All right. I got my cam for does that wait does that count Wade?
No, don't do that don't do that thing where you like, does that count? Oh, I think that was one!
Oh, that was two!
Ah, ah, okay, alright.
I think that was two!
I was concentrating!
Eeeeh!
Yeah, okay, alright, I don't believe you.
I got tuba goo, and I'm gonna goo my shoulder up real good, so don't-
Editors, put in that sexy song
Uh huh oh was that five oh that's five isn't it
I better not be actually falling into something I swear
No well I could tell you we didn't make a handshake deal while you were gone Mark
We didn't it's on video you can watch for yourself later We're gone, Mark. Uh... Well... Well... Well... Well...
We didn't.
It's on video.
You can watch for yourself later.
This apparently has full spectrum hemp flower extract.
Dude, is your shoulder getting high?
Maybe that's why your arm's been doing whatever it wants.
Your arm's high as fuck right now.
What in the fuck are these ingredients?
Butyra...
Butyrospermum.
A beauty sperm.
My sperm's gonna be so pretty no
No, you're spreading beauty sperm on your skin
All right. Well, it's getting put to good use
I guess if it works it works if it works or look
I don't care where this horse semen came from. I want it on my arm. Are you put enough of those on your shoulder?
You'll be ready to swim in no time. Sorry, everybody gotta get under, you know?
Yeah, sorry.
Oh my bad, everyone!
Just gotta make sure I really get the spot.
It's so sore, you know, so sore.
Actually, Mark, while you've got your arm available, can you tell me, do you happen to know which way the library is?
Oh yeah, it's...
Oh yeah, it's...
Oh yeah it's... That way? You could lie for the bit. Does that have to be real life accurate? Well why would I give you wrong directions? Just because I'm flexing doesn't mean I want to mislead you.
You're smart and strong, okay? All in all, I'm really hoping that I don't have the mysterious
rare case of shingles crossing over because
I looked up and apparently there's a shingles vaccine, but you can you're only allowed to
get it if you're over 50.
Can't you just buy it and have someone put it in there?
What kind of rule is that?
I couldn't get Bosley until I was 35 or 40.
Well, who would need that before they were 35 or 40?
That's what I say.
Was that one?
Maybe.
Anyway, so my, was that my small talk?
Probably.
What else could you have going on?
You're not making a movie anymore.
I try, I'm trying to avoid food coloring of all types.
So you only eat beige food now?
Where do you buy non-colored tomatoes?
Do you think that they, do they color fruit? I'm sorry. Do you mean you're trying to avoid artificial food now? Where do you buy non-colored tomatoes? Do you think that they, do they color fruit?
I'm sorry, do you mean you're trying to avoid
artificial food coloring?
Yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah, artificial.
Oh, okay, because I was like, all food has color, Mark.
Ah, you're right, you're right.
What are you eating, squid ink?
Well, it does now, but back in the 40s and 50s,
it was in black and white.
For the listeners, I'm pointing,
I'm pointing at Wade as if he's made a good point.
I'm like, uh.
There's nobody, as soon as they heard you were flexing on camera,
everyone tuned into the video.
You guys can flex too.
You look so sad, Wade. Why do you look so sad?
Man, I look like I'm 50. I'm bald. What do I have to flex about?
By body weight, you probably have more muscle than I do.
You probably have a better bicep flex than I do Wade
Like I you would marker and competition, but I guarantee you have a better one than I do
Yeah flex do it. I gotta save that for later to keep people tuned in here. I'll go first
My right arm is my bad arm by the way. Oh
Hell yeah, oh
Hell yeah that yeah, that's it where I'm at the library is over there
You're gonna want to take a left. That's where the regional branches over there, but if you want the large
Was that a thing full of liquid dumping onto a thing powered by electricity or are we good no
It's just a light fell. I've got this light bar. I was really hoping mid scream.
It would just be the old,
what frozen Mark is disconnected.
That's, that's really tingly.
The cam for tingling is probably good.
Are you having numbness?
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Super numb.
Actually it's like this has cam for 3% menthol 10%
methyl salicylate 10%.
What's that?
Salicylic acid.
It's a topical analgesic
I gave you one heart attack point mark if you actually have one on camera. I'll give you ten
Thanks. Yeah, no problem. It's piss pants to can we make an official rule?
It's not a guaranteed win it's just points it's like catching the snitch you get a hundred points and the game is over
Yeah, if you have a technological or physical emergency on on camera while we're doing this sure you get points
Technological too. Well, that's too easy. Well, like if you spill something and ruin your computer and you go out you're like
And you're just go to black yeah, I would totally give you points as long as it's not to the point where we lose the footage
We have to get it uploaded.
That's just annoying.
I feel like Mark's done a lot of the small talk.
Bob, you got some small talk stuff going on?
Guys, good news.
My Rabbit R1 has been shipped.
The future will be in my hands in mere days.
Can you say rabbit?
I think of the thing you put on your TV to get cable.
Those are rabbit ear antennas. That's different.
The Rabbit R1 is the future of AI technology.
Is that that?
No, that's not that pin thing.
We talked about it though.
The pin is called the, what is that called?
The Rabbit is the little orange one.
The humane.
The humane AI pin, yeah.
The Rabbit R1 is the little orange box
that's designed by those people who make cool designs,
college engineering or teenage engineering, whatever that company is called. R1 is the little orange box that's designed by those people who make cool designs, college
engineering or teenage engineering, whatever that company is called.
Good old teenage engineers.
Yeah.
Anyway, the joke is, did you guys hear about all the announcements that Apple made at
their WWDC event?
Yeah.
They essentially just made the Rabbit R1 and similar type boxes completely pointless because
Siri is just going to do all that shit that shit now as the joke I was making
But i'll have my i'll have it soon and it might be able to order me door dash and apparently can't get you ubers
Even though it says it can get you an uber. I don't even know what it is
So what can it do that your phone can't do? It's a little discrete ai assistant thing that it connects to
The internet over wi-fi is separate from your phone and doesn't interface with
your phone.
It's just a discreet little AI assistant.
And if you ignore the fact that it doesn't do almost any of the very small number of
things that it's advertised as being able to do, if it worked as advertised, it would
essentially be like what everyone wishes Siri could be, where you can just be like, hey,
I've got to add a meeting to my calendar for Thursday and like book a book travel or something. And it would just, it would take input like that and be like, I've added this to your calendar. I've scheduled an Uber that will get you to your meeting, you know, 15 minutes early, blah, blah, blah. It's like a little, is Mark frozen or?
Oh, no, I was reading. No, I'm fine. Keep going. What's wrong?
I'm just always afraid you're frozen now.
There's a T-Rex looking at him. He's holding very still.
No, but it's like a little, it's like a personal assistant, but instead of a human being, it's
an AI that lives in a box. But if you look at any of the reviews for it in particular,
MKBHD has a very funny review, but all of them are good because it's all the reviews
are people being like, oh, it's cool. It's a little plasticky. It's orange. It's cool. Cool design. And then they try and use
it. And it's only currently supposed to work with Spotify, DoorDash, Uber, and maybe one other thing
are the only apps it's like integrated with. And all of the examples of people trying to do stuff,
they'd be like, order me tacos on DoorDash.
And it's just like, oh, I can't do that right now.
Go to doordash.com if you want to order DoorDash
and like stuff like that.
It's just comically.
I clicked on a review from The Verge
and the top line is just all the rabbit R1 does right now
is make me tear my hair out.
Wade, I love how whenever you say something,
like The Verge is a very well-known website
that a lot of people go to.
I'm not saying it's like reputable,
I don't know what their quality of reporting is,
but anytime you say any company,
it's like, it's Apple says this,
or there's some company called Microsoft
that believes that, you know.
Guys, I found this new thing. It allows you to type questions into the internet
and then it gives you websites that things are related
to what you're looking for.
It's called Goggles.
Oh, I thought you meant Ask Jeeves.
Jeeves still exists.
It's called Jeeves now, or is it Ask Now?
I picked the wrong word.
I've never heard of Verge, okay?
The Verge was like the show hosted like Whoopi Goldberg
and some other ladies. The Verge was, I think, a was like the show hosted like whoopie Goldberg and some other ladies.
The verge was, I think a show.
It's a point.
Was whoopie Goldberg on it?
No, the view is the one you're thinking of,
but the verge was essentially, anyway, look, not important.
Okay.
I never know.
Sometimes I'm afraid I'm gonna like name a website
or something you guys will be like,
don't be like that, don't be like that, it's so bad.
You can't even say the name out loud.
A rubble still skittle up here.
When have we ever done that? You haven't yet, but I'm always careful in case you will. All right, you get a point. You can't even say the name out loud or Rumble still skittled up here. When have we ever done that?
You haven't yet, but I'm always careful in case you will.
All right, you get a point, you get a point.
You know, I gotta prepare it.
Like there's this other one, what's it called?
Wired.
Can't be trusted.
They said, rabbit review, skip.
Anyway, it was just a joke
because it's not artificial intelligence,
it's Apple intelligence when Apple does it.
They announced a bunch of AI features type stuff.
Well, have you thought about getting one of the A U I's?
Artificially unintelligent?
I still don't get why we all just as a species skipped right over virtual intelligence and
just decided to change the definition and put AGI as the next level.
Virtual intelligence is such a great way to label it.
It's such a perfect encapsulation of what it is
because it's not actually intelligent.
It's a virtualization of intelligence.
Well, if you tell people you're selling something
that's not AI, they'll be like,
if you tell them it's AI, it's like, oh, see,
AI's got like a negative connotation now,
but like five or 10 years ago, man,
if you said you had cutting edge artificial intelligence,
that would have been like, holy fuck, how'd you do it?
If you said you had virtual intelligence,
people are like, dude, this guy down the road
has AI in his coat pocket.
He like opened up his jacket, he's like, you want some AI?
They pulled out a bottle of AI,
and I was like, oh my God, I've got AI now.
Dude, we wish AI had a negative connotation.
Even, I mean, Apple is behind the game on this, right?
Because they're like OpenAI and other things have been out for quite a while, quite a few
years now.
But even for Apple, they're jumping in.
They have like, one of the things Apple announces, they have a thing where you can generative
AI make emojis on the fly.
They're called genmojis.
So you could be like, make me an emoji of a lizard drinking a beer on
the toilet. And it'll just generative AI you a picture thing that you can then use as an emoji.
One, that sounds stupid, but if people use that, whatever, that's fine. Two, even Apple is jumping
the gun on AI being like, oh, we can't get left that far behind. Apple, the company who introduces
features that have been on Android for over a decade as new features is already like, well, we've got
to have AI, get some AI in this. It's not good. It does not have a negative
enough connotation that so too many companies are still putting AI into
everything. Like it's good and like it works and like it's already ready for
the market type of product. It's not. It's really not.
And what's fascinating is like the whole Google thing,
everyone knows about the bad Google results.
But I think we're starting to see the plateau,
which is I think we all knew was kind of coming.
The plateau in terms of progress,
in terms of the machine learning models.
And like it's suddenly hit the wall of like,
oh, we don't have the hardware to make it any better.
Bonk.
And then it's waiting for the new generations of hardware,
but those don't exactly come that fast.
According to how fast things have progressed because stable diffusion three
released, uh, publicly, whatever you want to call that release that they did.
Sure. But they,
they made a new model that was available to everybody and it is better at
understanding what you're telling it to do, but its results are actually worse, especially of people.
If you, if you do the infamous example is, um, wait, let me see.
Uh, if I can pull one up for you guys and share.
Describe it for the listeners, Mark.
If I were, if you're, you're imagine your imagination is a machine
learning model, your's some arc. If I were, if you're, imagine your imagination is a machine learning model, your stable diffusion three.
And I tell you to generate a picture
of a man laying in a field, a field of grass,
very green grass, black button down shirt
and blue jeans and white shoes.
So stable diffusion, if you try to do that,
it has made the ones on the right,
I think the one on the left is like an older version of it,
but the ones on the right are the newest version of it.
Uh, the shoes are up at the top of the picture, but still with the soles pointing down.
Then, two, uh, legs, I guess, emerging from the bottoms of the shoe.
From the soles of the shoe.
From the soles of the shoe, going down, some wrinkles in the fabric, a large bulbous tor-
It looks like a black button down shirt from behind maybe?
A really big dick.
Not seeing that.
In the middle one? The big bulge in the middle of the two legs?
Maybe.
I mean that's like a collar or whatever but sure yes.
And then the head sticking out from what would be the neck hole but the top of the head is sticking out from the neck hole
and then this lady's hair as a beard draped down below her
decapitated head. The one on the right is about the same.
If I described to something, it's the same, but it's a guy's head.
Basically the same thing on the right with the guy's head.
It kind of looks like the one on the right looks like an actual person was like
laying on the grass and then someone like shoved something in and started sucking their like body out.
It started like compressing and then the clothes were kind of left behind and then
like the hair shoved someone else's head and neck into their face.
So there's just like the hair and then the face jutting out from that.
It's a guy.
It's a little guy climbing out of a bigger full-sized human costume
And he's it's like a full all-in-one costume
He's climbing out the face hole or he's just got a lot of chest hair just to like a lot
He looks like a Calvin Klein models face the one in the middle comes like Angelina Jolie's face
Yeah, so people are upset because the vast majority of people that use stable diffusion use it for
Making people with most likely less clothing on People are upset because the vast majority of people that use stable diffusion use it for
Making people with most likely less clothing on
But this isn't working and dude, I want to see a naked body formulated in that way. What the shit?
It's just salt knees and dicks
Well your wish is my command everyone what you're about to see is nothing because we can't show
It's like body horror but also somehow body comedy Oh, it's stable diffusion 3 I see I see
what they did there SD 3 this is the quality you could expect. Anyway so I
think we're starting to hit that um diminishing returns threshold. I wonder
if if like they kept training it and it started to hit patches of like data that
was had masks on it to corrupt AI training inputs or something
or what like
It's possible also they probably tried to like train some of the more explicit things
out of it. So for you know, safety reasons, you know, they would probably try to eliminate
some of the things from the training data or at least mask out things that would be
not safe for work.
That's true. I had a great uncle who was killed by boobs.
Which one? Uncle Tim. Left or right?
Oh, left boob. Of course.
Oh, my boob is the evil one.
Anyway, so I'm not saying that it's going to get worse from here.
But I think what you see is a lot of these companies just rushed to implement
these things and there's just, you know, problems with it.
And it's not going to get better as fast as it had in the past.
Just wait for USD for unstable, right? That's what we're going to now.
I thought you were talking about universal scene description.
I thought you were talking about currency 4.0 and the future of the US dollar.
You guys know too many things from my jokes to work.
Can you guys be dumber so I can make a joke?
Whatever he's talking about, whatever joke punchline he's looking for,
it's related to whatever was just said and nothing else ever.
Yes.
Got it.
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Anyway, I'm gonna reel this in a little bit.
Okay, Mark got to do a small talk for like an hour and a half and then he also
You brought up that! That was all you!
He also took over my small talk to talk
The stable diffusion thing was 100% Mark.
Well no, that wasn't you. I guess that's true. You were the rabbit.
Well, I was just throwing it in there. I didn't know it meant that wasn't you I guess that's true you were the rabbit well I was just throwing it in there I didn't know I didn't know it meant that
much to you also my life is a tragedy we got our car wrapped a very nice purple
wrap and somebody dinged it with their door today so that's a big tear in the
wrap and we've had it for less than two weeks so I was gonna say you were just
excited about getting that done look upon me with pity my very nice car has
got a very surprisingly expensive
vinyl wrap on it and it's damaged now.
Life is unfair.
I'm sorry.
That sucks.
That was my personal small talk.
It's fine.
But I was upset about that.
I have another thing that might cheer you up.
That's a TikTok update.
Have you seen the latest trend of using like some,
whatever AI like video generator
Yes, that guy released to extend vines or to turn meme pictures into videos. I fucking love it
It's so funny. Did you see the 9 plus 10 one? No. No, I don't that was actually horrifying
I think I just got to pull it up on my I could probably find it if it's, if it's actually on tick tock.
Actually terrifying. I don't know why.
Oh God. I love it.
Yeah. What the AI usually does is have the person turn immediately and then someone else walks into frame.
That's how all of these kind of like template out to be.
But that would work particularly well.
I love the lighting in it and how it actually like captured it.
No, have you seen the one, the one of the little girl standing in front of the house
on fire and then it like it zooms out a little bit and then it pans over to a couple of firefighters
who are just like
That one is also a very good out come but yeah, those are fucking amazing. I love it good small talk Everyone got lots of points for small talk
I'm going to get mine and save it for another episode and I'm gonna jump into okay
I've got a couple things to talk about a full time to get to the mall
I have a question
Have you guys all played at some point in your life, some variation of a
Dungeons and Dragons game?
Like a tabletop RPG of some sort?
Any tabletop RPG.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yes.
Yes.
You guys are aware of health potion.
Sure.
Even I mean, you know, video games obviously have them too.
Do you think a health potion would work the same worse, stronger, and
or faster if butt chugged.
It would have to work faster
and be slightly more effective, I think.
It wouldn't grant additional effects,
but butt chugging it would get the magic into your system
or the whatever chemicals into your system
just more effectively.
Cause I tweeted this out and I've had discussions
in like my D&D group about it.
And some people, there's like a very staunch number of people that
Are just like keep the brand pure. We must not have but chugging. Do you know what my book says? It says
Imbebe which means drink the potion
I
Okay, cuz this is magic right? It's magic. magic so that's debatable sometimes health potions are magical sometimes
They're just alchemical made with herbs and stuff it depends feel like that's still like kind of magical yes
But like they're just different
it's all a question of okay is it just about getting in the bloodstream because
Then you crystallize it crush it up and snort it and yeah, that's gonna get you healthy real quick
or you get it in a magical syringe
and you blast it in a vein
and you'll get healthy real quick.
Dude, in the 80s period, TTRPG, where health potions
are just little cocaine bumps that you have to do
during a while, you're like, wait a second,
I need a bump.
You slay the troll you get it out your potion
You put it across the trolls belly grab your straw
In
Born it was basically the health potion was other blood that was the whole thing in the story and you had
Injected right in your leg
You lose some blood pump it back in which is kind of how it works today. I mean, it's not really that wrong.
That's the main thing about health.
You just need enough blood in there.
So it just depends on whether it needs to be digested.
That's the question I have about health potions.
Is it dependent?
Is the imbibe so important that it needs to be digested and broken down
and doesn't need to interface with all the different gut bacteria?
Does it work in that capacity where there's some kind of like chemical that's
extracted from your, your pancreas or your liver?
Is there some other thing it's depended on?
It really depends on the system. Baldur's gate three,
you can literally just throw a health potion at the ground.
It'll explode and like the fumes that come up will heal you and anyone around
you. Some games you have to drink it. Like you said, bloodborne, you inject it.
So it really depends on the system as to.
The heart of my view on this would be,
if the system allows you to be healed,
basically instantaneously,
if you take the health thing, however you take it,
and you gain your health points back immediately,
then it can't rely on digestion.
If it's a thing where it's like you take this
and it heals you for X amount of points
over the next hour or something.
Maybe but that's not how health potions tend to work.
Health is a magical and or chemical thing where it's like you stab it and you're and
then you're healthy again.
So it doesn't really, it's about getting whatever it is into your body.
I don't know if it means it's getting it into your bloodstream necessarily, but like that's
how humans work.
So it's fair assumption I feel like that it needs
to get into your bloodstream. So like in a video game if you heal usually a health potion heals
you the same amount every time but in like D&D you roll a dice it's like oh this is a 1d4 health
potion it kind of has variable effects and I was reading into this a bit and whenever you take
medicine through your mouth it's a lot more like uncertain how the absorption process will work
compared to like taking medicine rectally. It's usually more consistent that way. So in my thought
process is like, okay, maybe it's a 1D4 if you ingest, maybe it's just always four if you take
it up the ass or maybe it's stronger. Maybe it's a 1D6. I was wondering if you needed to do like an
acrobatics check or something just like if you- You don't do it during combat. I don wondering if you needed to do like an acrobatics check or something. Just like if you don't do it during combat, I don't imagine you doing this during combat.
No, but it's like a thing where it's like I want to butt chuck this.
It's like if you fail, you don't get any.
You either you either get it in you or you spill it or something.
And so you have to do some kind of like skill check.
And I feel like we're kind of glossing over the ease of butt chugging in general.
Like what is is it a funnel?
Are you using the glass vial?
Cause that's a danger of its own.
Yeah, see.
A glass bottle with a tapered,
as long as it's thick glass though,
that's kind of the ideal shape.
But I mean, you run the, any glass.
Did you clinch?
That's true.
No, that's true, that's true.
It can be catastrophic.
Maybe if you get like one of those bottle nipples on top
and you like.
If you have a butt chugging funnel in your pack though,
you could just get that out and use it.
Maybe.
But yeah, I'm thinking a funnel.
I'm thinking a funnel is during like a shorter,
a long rest and you have someone assisting you.
You call your barbarian over to pour the potion
in the funnel.
You gotta, you gotta, I need to butt chug this.
I'm almost dead.
You gotta come help.
I don't, Gurmoth is not comfortable with that.
I don't know.
We got a cleric.
He can come heal you.
No, no, no, no.
You have to help me.
Here's my ass.
Someone suggested like a Bane like Batman villain style delivery system up your butt
while you're in combat.
Why not just go in the veins like Bane does?
Why did it have to be butt Bane?
Why do you have to go in the ass still?
He has things injecting into his bloodstream. That's the whole thing. That's true. That's exactly what that is
I was with you until why did they go back to butt? Maybe they did maybe I just thought but I don't know
I thought maybe I'm misunderstanding how Bane's power works, you know in Batman you were born in the dark
I was born in the dark
Ever just has the mouth crab
Molded by it
Ever just has the mouth crab. Molded by it.
OK, so the conclusion, the conclusion, I would say the majority have come to it.
Was that a regen potion?
100% would heal faster if you butt chug it.
Now, see, I would disagree with that because I feel like a regen potion
is like necessitated on the digestion process because that's why it's regenerative over time.
It's meant it's meant like a time release thing.
And there's many time release medications
that you cannot, literally cannot take rectally
because it need, the breaking down of it
needs to be digested.
You need your stomach acid to break down
the capsule or whatever.
So I would believe that regen potions
would be more likely to be half to be ingested.
Yeah, I guess I was imagining if you're not in combat,
why would you need to butt chug it?
So imagine a world where like potions are more rare, more expensive or like two of your
party need heal, but you've only got one potion.
So like splitting a potion typically you can't do, but if you both butt chug half of it,
maybe it does the same amount as it normally would, but you can split it.
All right.
Here's a different approach that I bet no one has suggested.
I was watching there's this, there's this YouTuber, something emu.
He's that doctor that's presenting to the emergency room.
You know that guy?
Lee, Mui, Mui and Doug.
Yeah, it's Lee Mui.
Lee Mui Mui is YouTube channel. Yes.
Yep. Yeah, that's it. Is it?
So there was this case of a kid who was dared to put like an entire tube
of Bengay on their balls for some reason.
I don't know why, but this was what they did.
And so they did it and it's like, oh, it burns, it burns, kind of like this.
This whatever this is, it's got, you know, certain ingredients in there
that are meant to be absorbed.
And then they they are either numbing or something like that.
But the problem is the testicles are like 20 times more permeable than other skin on the body because of the blood supply
So a lot more medication will actually diffuse directly into the bloodstream. Now, here's where I'm going with this
What if you don't need to drink it at all?
What if you soak your nuts in the health potion juice and then you will absorb you won't waste anything
You don't need a butt-chug it, you could have
specially designed underwear that has a whole potion just constantly in there and you'll have the healthiest balls
anyone's ever seen and it will absorb into your body.
But how do you heal like your female companions?
Just, it's probably the same way, probably the nether regions of most people in some way or another are more
permeable because of the blood flow that goes in there. You probably need a different type of
container or system for women to take advantage of that. There might be, you might need different
formulations because men is all like skin on the outside which is meant to be like exterior to the
body. That region for women, like what if it goes in up in? That might just
be really painful or something like that would be... No it would absolutely be as
permeable because that's the other thing like that that is very permeable. I would
say it's more it's probably more permeable because it's more like a
mucous membrane. There was a problem where someone would would soak their
tampons in like vodka and they would insert the tampon and it would absorb
into the body but it
Intrused so many other issues. Isn't that still better to use that in your rectum? I don't know if any of its better
Let me be clear. Nobody do any of this. This is all bad for you. No, this is not advice
There are no health potions vodka is not health potion
I'm saying what occurred and it was still bad all across the board with vodka specifically
because microbiomes being what they are and the sensitivity of skin and alcohol actually is something that kills cells very easily,
including those in the human body even though we drink it, I don't, but a lot of people drink it every day.
That's also not good. Don't do that.
Long story short, soaking your testes into health potion can only be good.
So if we get a fountain and it's one of those fountains that like has something that pours
out the health potion into like a little pool area, we could attach our female companions
to the outpour sections and we can soak our balls in the
fountain portion. I'm saying everyone can just dunk in the posh- posh-coozie. I
misunderstood. In the health coozie. You don't need to insert your female
companions on the outpour. Was that your words? I blacked out while
Wade was trying to explain whatever his thought was. The visual I had was not a
good one.
I think what based on what Mark is saying,
that what you should really do is find a hot spring,
splash your potion in there and then have everyone just get in the hot spring
and soak it up.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Oh, that sounds nice.
I feel like one vial of health potion inside of a hot tub is pretty diluted, though.
Well, you got to be in there until you suck it.
I don't know. It's supposed to be enjoyable, man.
You just like you're healing.
Everyone's open wounds in the jaw.
And the coos.
All right. Well, that was my burning question of the day.
Was that the topic for the episode?
No, it was just a bonus topic, but I don't know how much time we have for actual topic.
We had a lot of small talk.
You really came to the experts to talk about that one.
Well, now I've got, well, listen, I've got my social media, I've got my D&D crew.
I went to five different people's live streams
while they were streaming and posed that question to them.
Some of them were like, oh, I don't know.
And then moved on, some of them like really debated it.
But now we've got the subreddit and everyone that watches
this to give me their feedback.
But don't give me those like,
I'm D&D is too pure to think about that kind of stuff, man.
Don't ruin my D&D. You can only take a health potion through the mouth because the book says so
it's like think outside the fucking box you little bitch
that's what I say to those Puritan D&D GMs out there who don't want to think
about butt-chugging if we're talking about in the most practical sense you
have to get healed by something and if we decide if we all decide to agree that
the end goal is to get into your bloodstream which we didn't conclude but like in a lot of scenarios
I feel like that's a fair conclusion about how exactly the health potion works if it's not magic if it's alchemical
Probably the optimal thing to do would be to inject it
Yeah, you would just you would want like an EpiPen type thing like they do in a lot of video games
Where you just get pop it out and just go
like they do in a lot of video games where you just pop it out and just go
just thinking about like old style dnd where it's like swords and bows and shields it's like i doubt they have syringes back then so i don't know if they have that option oh they got alchemical
concoctions but they don't have syringes okay look i don't want to break the realism of the world
my immersion like i feel like butt chugging makes sense in a world.
It's like the cocaine thing joke that we did.
If you're in like a frat pot, a frat bro world,
and you're role playing, like you're at a frat party
or you're something, butt chugging kind of makes sense.
That's where that happens primarily, I would assume.
But if you're like in a high fantasy adventure,
it makes less sense that they would do that.
No, you'd have to have someone that thought of it.
You'd have to have a bro in the party that It's like, yeah, bro character in the party.
I feel like go for it. Role play.
Probarian.
Yeah, could work. Barbaro, bro.
I was looking it up because I thought that maybe the eyeballs would be more
permeable. But actually they're not.
Cause I was thinking that like an eye wash station of potion,
where you just press the lever into your eyes, but it's actually not very permeable
for. And I realized like for good reasons,
because it's constantly exposed to the environment.
So it'd be bad if that was always permeable.
Yeah. The rectum is where it's at.
Yeah. No, your eyes are like separate.
I forget exactly how it works, but you're you actually your eyes are not connected
into the rest of your body's immune system and stuff in the same way or whatever.
Something like that.
What if we can measure to see what's more permeable, like your balls or your ass? into the rest of your body's immune system and stuff in the same way or whatever. Something like that.
I wonder if we can measure to see what's more permeable, like your balls or your ass.
I could ask.
Let me ask.
Well, it's prop weighed up upside out.
We'll get one bucket of alcohol on his balls and then we'll get a hose up his ass.
We'll start it all at the same time.
You'll have to tell us which goes first, your balls or your ass.
Where does your drunk start?
Well, if you're plugging up both of my holes, they're going to come out of my mouth or my
eyes or my nose or I'm going to come out of my mouth or my eyes or my nose,
or I'm going to get bigger and bigger and bigger to explode.
Do you pee out of your balls? You don't.
Anyway, it's, uh,
most permeable membranes are the mouth,
nasal passages and genital and anal regions.
I guess if you put it in your mouth and just hold it there,
that would also be just as good as soaking it in your in the jaw.
So whenever we eat food we shouldn't swallow, we should just hold it in the mouth for a
long time.
Technically, there's if you've done that in science class, if you take a saltine cracker
or something like that, and you chew it in your mouth for 20 minutes, it will start to
turn sweet because the enzymes in your mouth will turn it in sugar.
But also, the mucus membranes in the mouth are permeable to the
bloodstream. So yes, you would start to absorb things. Dude, why am I wasting my life fucking
swallowing then? I should just lay down in bed, open my mouth, put in the food for the next day
and be done with it. It's just fucking chipmunk cheek weight over here with all of his meat
stuffed into the sides. Turn on an audio book and just fucking mouth digest.
You go to, you go to that Brazilian steakhouse
and the triosco comes over and you're getting more please.
I have them roll me in on like a gurney and it's ah.
Wait, why can't you walk?
Wait, why can't you walk?
So I'm laying down.
He doesn't want to have to move.
Wait, it's goal in life is to move
the minimum amount possible.
Okay, well here's the actual topic for today.
Name some shows, movies, video games, etc. books that either should have a sequel and don't,
or that shouldn't have a sequel that do.
This was an idea I had, I don't know how many weeks ago, and I kind of forgot about it.
So I don't remember what exactly brought it to my mind.
What's something you're like, oh man, I want that sequel.
I think Half-Life 3 came to mind.
Maybe it was when Abiotic Factor was coming out.
I was like, dude, this is so fun.
This is like our Half Life 3 we never got.
What's something that got a sequel that you're like, mm, mm, mm, that's bad?
Or something that didn't and you're like, where is it?
Please.
You know what didn't need a sequel?
Lion King.
None of the subsequent Lion King moves, and I don't mean the live action remake, that's not a sequel, but there's like I think two or
possibly three Lion King sequels. Yeah, they did the straight to DVD stuff.
They were doing that a lot more. Those don't need to exist. Like I have no
problem with those stories existing and going straight to DVD. The Lion King is a
great, fantastic story, great movie, it's very beautiful. You didn't need anything
else. Leave the Lion King alone and make some other animal stories if you want to do that
But didn't Little Mermaid also get a sequel like that like a straight to DVD sequel. Oh, they all did they all did
Yeah, like every Disney movie if it doesn't have sequels
You know about it has sequels that were straight to DVD sequels like guaranteed
But I will say with Aladdin's straight to DVD sequels. Oh no, yeah, yeah.
I love Return of the Jafar and I love Prince of Thieves more than the original.
I liked Prince of Thieves a lot. I watched that a lot as a kid.
I think about that Turtle City all the time.
I know! I know!
That dude being turned to gold is burned into my brain is like a horrible, horrible fate.
And it was just like, it's so visceral with like,
and I loved the hand, the hand of Midas.
I wanted to lick the hand
because it looked like a big ice cream cone,
but I was like, oh no, I can't, I turned to gold,
but oh, it looks so tasty.
What a movie like merch thing that would have been
hand of Midas popsicles, oh my God.
Oh, then why not?
Yeah, it's like they want to forget about that.
But those return of Jafar people and say the quality of it.
You got Homer Simpson as the genie, whoever the voice actor for that.
That's not good.
But Robin Williams came back for Prince of Thieves.
And it's like really it's not quite the same quality as original Aladdin,
but it's way better than Return of Jafar in terms of quality and like actual animation and cinematic quality
No, it's like a good movie. It's good all around very good. I love that movie. I still to this day say
OPEN CARAWAY
Yeah, you know the fucking sheriff guy whatever he is
He says that to try to open the passage and it's like I'd still to this day
What's the poor dude with my hairline who's like the bad guy at the start of Prince of Thieves or whatever? Is it Prince of Thieves?
Oh
What is his name?
With a big bottom lip Bwubububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububub Right, I get it now. I get what the name is. Abismal. Abismal. I get it, that's funny.
Oh, the King of Thieves, not the Prince of Thieves, it's the King of Thieves.
It's been 20 years since I've seen it, so I, whichever one.
Okay, so we got some Disney, we got good Disney, we got bad Disney.
I feel like I have to put this out there because it's one that I, it's not interesting to talk about to me anymore because it's done to death,
but the fact that Firefly only has one season is a tragedy.
By the end of season one of Firefly, you feel, for me anyway,
it feels like they found like their whole,
they found the voice they were looking for.
They hit their stride, that you get to the end of the season
and you're like, holy fuck, let's go.
And then it's over and you're like, oh god, they had it.
Because the beginning of Firefly, it's not like it's every single episode
is a masterpiece. I would say they're all good.
But at the beginning, you kind of take some minute if you stick with it.
By the time you get to the end of that season, holy shit, it feels like they found it.
They found the thing.
And the next season would have just been like, oh, just perfect.
Explosive. Nope, nothing forever said.
You know, I'm a very probably in the
minority about this one but i actually enjoyed mass effect andromeda i was enjoying it a lot
too actually i was enjoying it yeah some people would probably say like oh that's one of the
sequels shouldn't have been made but i'm like i was so down with new galaxy i love the idea of
going to andromeda and there were so many drop storylines that were supposed to be like pursued
I'd ever actually finished the game. So what can I really say?
But there was the whole thing about the Corian arc ship didn't make it why that's weird
But it's somewhere there was all these mysteries of these other races going along and I think people people were so
hung up on that it
Wasn't shepherd or it wasn't like the same kind of story or something like
that. There was a chance to expand it, but you know, it just wasn't something. I feel
like even the development of it was like, it's too big. It should have been smaller
to start with because that's the problem with these sequels that try to like establish something
new is like they start way too big and then they can't expand it any farther. It's already
huge and Mass Effect was already problematic because it was like a spanning storyline
that was getting bigger and bigger.
So I feel like it just needed to be a little more contained,
but what do I know?
I thought it was great.
It was just kind of came out half baked.
Like, I don't know if you remember
when it first launched the graphics.
Spoilers, I apologize, spoilers.
The character you play as loses, you know,
a parent early in that game.
And I remember a scene where he's talking about that.
I played the male version, but he or she is talking about losing their parent.
My character's eyes just started looking outward as they were like, I really miss my dad.
It's like, do you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
How do you handle trauma?
You don't just start to dissociate and your eyes go in different directions?
But dude, it was really just the graphical like if they'd baked it a little bit longer
They just stayed the oven a little bit longer where it didn't come out and they looked like the oh god
What's that effect where you look at something human? Oh wait, but it doesn't look human uncanny Valley
Yeah, it was very uncanny Valley looking at the characters like having this is a very serious conversation
but like
One of them like tilted their head and like smiled creepily or something. It's like no I really like that specific
shot was like a big meme for me for a minute of the one who's just like yeah with the head snap
and this. So the game itself was great but it was just hard to stay in it because there were so many
things that just like took you out where you weren't like still bought into the environment and you know
fully invested. But no the game itself once got, if you could get past that or
you know, once the, I think they patched it, updated it and made it better. But like once
that you get out of that point, it was a really fun game. I really enjoyed it. It's just like,
that was hard to start with whenever they give you a serious moment and they're like
faces do not line up at all with what they should be with what they're saying and how
the voice acting was.
And it's also like it tried to, the other issue I would have liked to see in something is
not only smaller, but just like trying to not be exactly what Mass Effect was like introducing
your cast of characters and your crew like as much as it's like, oh yeah, of course,
that's what Mass Effect is all about. But if this is like a two and drama and a kind
of thing, I kind of want it to start out more lonely.
You know, kind of that's, to me,
that would be the whole story of it.
And then, you know, I know that's kind of what it was
of like assembling people and pulling people together,
but just like go more lonely.
Have people miss the crew,
have people miss anyone being around
and just like start from there where everything's hostile
and everything, like it's not the same kind of vibe to it.
And then people can't draw as many conclusions like it's not the same kind of vibe to it and then
people can't draw as many conclusions to it and miss the same things that were trying to be
replicated from the original trilogy you know i think they could have done things a little
bit differently with it but overall i think if they had just worked on it for another year and
then released it it's like diablo 4 you know diablo 4 we did an episode and i complained about
there being like no pets and other stuff and I think like the day before that episode came out Diablo was like hey look there's pets now
And so I looked like a fucking idiot point being is Diablo 4 right now is actually in the best shape
It's ever been in it's really fun right now
But it's literally the end of their one-year anniversary of release it took them a year for their game to feel like
How it should have felt on release. It's like I don't know why it must be publishers or something, I don't know.
Games just release, aren't great.
And by the time they get great, everyone's given up on it.
And it's like, dude, but it's so good now, you should try it.
I just, I don't understand.
There was something with the Diablo four team
and they were like, man, people like all this stuff
from Diablo three, we're better than them.
We won't use that shit.
Woo.
And now they're like, oh man, we should probably
introduce some of that stuff they liked from Diablo three.
And they're like slowly, they're introducing it as if it's new content. It's like
BITCH I HAD A PET GET MY GOLD TEN YEARS AGO!
What do you mean this is new content?
I'm glad they're doing it but like why did it take so long?
Uh, Bob, what you got?
This is a complicated one and this is sort of a half-baked idea, but since you asked this question, I've been trying to get creative with it
I generally am not a big fan of games as a service. I certainly play games that are a service
video games as a service is a thing that's very common there are just some
games where I like the game so I want to play it even though supporting the game
makes companies think that that's an okay thing to do but if there is a kind
of game that I think should be a game as a service instead of constant new sequels
coming out it should fucking be sports
games. There should be one Madden football. There should be one NHL game. There should
be one of each of those. And it should be a game as a service where every subsequent
season I don't care. I don't buy them or play that the ultimate team modes where you collect
the little cards and you spend your V bucks on whatever.
You mean their money making will start.
They can do that.
I think that's bullshit, but people like there are tons of people who love that and spend
all their money on it and like they're adults.
They could spend their money on that if they want to.
I just want to own like I play sports games, but I play them to just play like franchise
mode where it's like, I want to play a season as my favorite hockey team.
I don't care if they suck.
I'm playing a season as the Blue Jackets right now in NHL.
They're awful.
They were one of the worst teams in the league last year.
They're awful in the game.
It's really hard to win, but it's fun.
It's teams as the players.
I enjoy it as a hobby.
I don't want to have to keep buying new titles every year just to get a new the new updates
to the game because it to get a new the new updates to the game
because it's not a new game it's the exact same code with at best
incremental updates to parts of it it should be a game it should have no
sequels there should be a game as a service version of all the EA sports
games and I would probably still buy a season pass or whatever like I would
want if there was a new thing like they had a new game mode or they changed how something worked. I'd give them money every once in a while even. It's not even
that. Like that does suck, but that's just the world we live in. Just doesn't need to be a sequel.
I don't need that. That's a stupid way to do it. And run it as a game as a service, make your money
on microtransactions and just let me go and play my little offline seasons that I like to play where
I don't want the online stuff. I don't want the collecting cards. I don't want any of that shit.
I'm going to pretend I'm a hockey player for 40 minutes while I sit here and
relax.
That's fair because it is really annoying. It's like, ah, Madden.
Cause I don't know if you remember, but Madden, like,
I don't know over 10 years ago they had Madden 25.
It was like the 25th anniversary of Madden. And now it's like,
now they have Madden 25. Madden 20, 25 has to come up. They're like, oh,
Madden 25. And it's like, didn't I, well hold on,
didn't we already have that title?
How does a game that has gear-based naming
still have confusing titles?
What happened?
And what's strange is like,
this is EA that does this, right?
That's EA.
Doesn't EA also own The Sims?
Yes.
They know, yeah, I think it's still EA that owns The Sims. They know how to do this. You release one per generation and then you sell expansion packs, DLC for crazy money, insane amounts of money.
Yeah, we're still on Sims 4, right? Which released in 2014, 10 years ago, we're still on Sims 4, they just keep putting expansions out for it and everything. Why don't they do that with the the sports games? It is an impossible
cycle to put out a new novel game every year, especially of that caliber. It's
impossible. All they're doing is incremental updates. They're wasting
resources doing that. They would make more money and people would be happier
if it's the same game and you release DLC for it. And this is a thing where I
know people are out there like, well, just don't buy the new one. And I don't always.
I played NHL 22 for a few years and I just like in the last year at some point,
I got NHL 24 because I wanted the new one.
It's not really any different. That's not the point.
The point is at some point they deprecate support for the past games.
At some point, if you have,
I couldn't just have a copy of NHL 2019 and still be getting the new rosters
and still like there's a new team in the league now.
I wanna have the Seattle Kraken in my game.
The old games that predate the Kraken existing,
they don't just go back and add that in,
you just don't have that.
I'm not saying that it makes sense
to buy the game every single year
and I know people do that and I don't own every single one,
but I would rather have all the seasonal updates where it's like, oh, there's a new
team and this team redesigned their jerseys and I want all of that stuff, which is I would
happily pay some seasonal fee for instead of just having to get a new game to get all
these tiny little meaningless features that I just want because I'm a fan of the league
and the sport.
I get that it's stupid.
I'm not arguing that.
I'm sure there's people out there who are like,
oh, you stupid, you pay EA money, you're a goober.
I get it, but I like hockey.
This guy's some kind of stupid, you're a goober.
College football's coming back for the first time
in 10 years this year.
And it looks just awful.
And it's only releasing on console.
It's not having a PC release.
And I feel like there was another big negative thing to it too
that I can't remember off the top of my head.
So far what I've heard the gameplay engine is hilariously.
Like people assumed it would just be Madden,
but with college skins,
somehow it's a different gameplay engine
and all the physics and tackling
is all janky as fuck and hilarious.
Well, it's been, they're a little rusty.
It's been 10 years since they've had a working football game.
Yeah, they haven't been making football games
this whole time.
It's a totally new thing.
I will say everyone hates Madden 24 with like,
everyone I see that plays Madden 24
is just always bitching about how horrible it is.
I was watching a guy play,
he was doing like a, called a rebuild of the Bengals,
and at one point he hops,
like he's like simming a game or whatever,
then he hops into play and he's on defense,
and Joe Burrow is lined up at EdgeRusher.
One of the offensive linemen is playing corner, and he's on defense and Joe Burrow is lined up at edge rusher one of the offensive
linemen is playing corner and he's like what is happening like you just see the entire
Bengals offense trying to play defense and it's going horribly wrong apparently imagine
24 which is like the 30th installment of this game still doesn't know how to fucking work
there are times you go to level up your player like you'll unlock skill points to level up your player and it'll show the player
standing there with like three ghost people also standing in the same spot so it'll be like some
horrible like ghost amalgamation it's supposed to be the player you're leveling up. Maybe they just
unlocked wraith form and didn't remember that would be a really useful football skill I feel like. I
love Joe Burroughs wraith form. Mark I'm sorry you're gonna say something? No no I never. How's
your shoulder? It's better now it's actually way way better that stuff
worked it's tingly. Oh that's good Bob. Oh. Well that's better. Why wouldn't I why
would I think that wasn't directed at me the guy who was talking about a
shoulder from the very beginning of an episode I thought you cared you thought wrong you goober you goober no no take those points away I don't want them I
didn't give you any oh I just thinks everything's about him man
imagine you're in Ottawa strolling through artistic landscapes at the National Gallery of Canada.
Oh.
Then cycling past Parliament Hill.
Ah.
Before unwinding on an outdoor patio.
Oh.
Then spending an evening on a cruise along the historic Rideau Canal.
Ah.
Exploration awaits in Ottawa.
From oh to ah.
Plan your Ottawa itinerary at autowatourism.ca.
Oh, eco-friendly towels? They're quick dry. Yeah, you know,
Homesense always has a lot of great towels.
Let me see that. Quick dry.
Will it dry quickly enough that I won't notice when you use my towel?
Okay, that happened once. Maybe more than once.
Anyways, these are only $13.
$13? Okay.
Let's get you this navy one.
And for me, this soft beige one.
Deal so good, everyone approves.
Only at HomeSense.
All right, I should probably wrap this up.
I've got other things we could talk about.
I'm sure there's other games and movies and things,
but I'm gonna call it, we can always have a part two.
You know, we do that sometimes.
You always say that.
Oh no, I thought I just realized something, but we're not.
The Sims 2 came out in 2004,
but the Sims 3 came out in 2009.
This is Sims 4 now, right?
I know, well, Sims 4 came out in 2014,
so it's been 10 years, so I was like,
Sims 5? Probably not.
Or do for one, but like, I don't know.
I don't know how much it changes from version,
like I don't know how much 10 years would change
in a game like that, maybe.
I feel like they could fundamentally add a lot
to the game from what it was in 2014,
but also no one cares.
They'll just keep releasing updates.
Think of all the AI features they could cram into there.
AI conversations in, what's their language called?
Simlish.
Simlish. Simlish.
Simoleon.
Anyway, that's it, that's the episode.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Ryan, our friend Ryan, the only Ryan.
Fuck you.
Oh.
Wow.
I don't know, I wrote down a note.
I talked to Ryan and he was like,
what are you gonna do, call me out in your podcast again?
And I was like, you know what, I fucking will.
So I wrote down in my notes, shout out Ryan, but like mean. All all right mission accomplished. It's a new segment. Are we airing grievances? I don't really have any grievances
I just said I was gonna be mean to him. So that was that yeah, let me tabulate our points here mark
I've got shoulder t-rex flex
Errder-der-der. What's this thing? What?
Heart attack, heart attack.
Um, dalga diffusion, stable diffusion.
Aladdin abysmal,
Tic-Tac mass effect.
And you've got 12 points.
That's not very many points.
Bob, I've got for two weeks.
Flex rabbit RL.
R1. Cardinged flexing flex firefly that's it finally firefly Lion King sports games which has you at 10 however I've also cut handshake
points for Bob which is not we didn't make a handshake deal
no handshake deal however every time Mark thought there was a handshake deal. No handshake deal. However, every time Mark thought there was a handshake deal, I agreed to give Bob points
and Mark you literally six times.
How is that not a handshake deal?
Because there was no handshake deal.
I didn't I didn't give him anything.
He just offered to do that.
How is that not an agreement made outside of me knowing about it?
What am I going to disagree when he brings that up?
You know what? You know what? G-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh- Your shoulder? It's all better now. Oh cool. Well, um, Bob, you still have more points, so...
What did I change then? Oh god, what did I change?
Oh.
Oh no!
What are we gonna, what are we gonna see in the future?
I don't know, I don't know, what did I do?
Everyone stay tuned, next week should be the biannual Distractable Plane episode,
so stay tuned for that, and I guess uh, I will be hosting. Uh guess I'll be hosting. Good. What? No that's what we all said. I was
implying that's what he changed it was a funny joke. I know I'm just being upset I
was gonna okay well. Alright well Bob you win you have a winner speech. Somehow
winning in this way feels less sweet than it used to I'm not gonna give it
back it's my win, fair and square.
But I do feel bad, so hopefully that makes you feel
better about it, Mark.
Ah, if it makes you feel any better before Mark gives
his loser speech, I was giving Mark like easier points
the rest of the way to try to make it more interesting.
So I did try to balance it back out.
You were just, you're just better, Bob.
Mark literally counted to six in his bit about talking
about it and we were like, well. It was a low scoring game so it was hard to make up six points but
he I was trying to give him as many points as I could. Did you give him any
heart you gave him heart attack points even right? I mean oh yeah heart attacks on
here shoulder and heart attack he got it twice technically. So if I have a heart
attack. That's ten points and you will win right now.
That's ten points and you'll win right now.
Either do that or have a loser's speech. One of the two is up to you.
Editor, show Mark his bank accounts all at zero. Well, it wouldn't do anything to me.
Have Mark flex and show nothing.
Ah!
Oh, wait, yeah, wait. You are gonna flex. You have to flex now.
Oh.
Is that flexing?
Are we all doing it?
All right, is it my turn yeah, did you have a heart attack? No, I say yes I'll give you two points for telling the truth you still lose
Honestly, honestly gets you nowhere kids take that lesson with you. Anyway, my turn. Yeah, it's your turn. It's your turn
You're up. All right before mark gives his louis's speech though
If anyone out there knows who Dini not the songs the
Magician yeah, if anyone knows him personally, that's cool and all but not what I'm interested in if anyone knows who Dini the software
Very well post on the subreddit. I need I need some guidance and I'm not talking like hey you've dabbled in it
I need someone that's like I have five years of experience in the field. This isn't a job offer
I'll compensate you for your time. I get I don't know
It's not a job. I just need some advice. It's a paid job, but not a job
Is that what it is?
I just need some advice.
And then when I get that advice,
I'm gonna kick you to the curb.
It's called consulting.
So if you guys wanna do that, do that.
Also just feel free to offer Mark any unsolicited advice
you would like also on the subreddit.
Can someone give me guidance on how not to get goofed
so hard?
I seem to be getting goofed a lot.
Hope you don't get goofed.
That's it, that's the episode.
Good small ending, beach. I think I'm having a stroke. Does your arm hurt?
Not you, Mark. Happy anniversary wedding everyone. Don't remember that reference? That was a
reference to Antonio Brown's little like videos he used to do. We talked about this on like three
peens. I thought you were referencing that because this episode I think literally comes out on mine and Mandy's 10 year wedding anniversary
I don't know when this comes out, but does it? Oh god is it my birthday episode and I lose
Mark
Yeah, that's true mark happy birthday does that mean he has to win because it's his birthday is that like how life works or no
It's too late. He declared the speeches were given the speeches were given but I feel like until the host gives up power by ending the episode
Those basically can do whatever the hell they choose
No, we that was actually part of the rules
We agreed to is you can't yeah once the speeches are given then it's impossible to change
I'm pretty sure anyway, but it's like when the speeches are given then it's final
We could throw out the rule book entirely and I could give you points and you could win
I'm the host I have the power right now to do it. No, we we resolve that power
Yeah, but together but individually I can still claim it back. I kept mine. I didn't throw it away
I kept in the box just in case
Happy birthday mark. Happy birthday, loser.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hope it was good.
Happy anniversary of wedding Bob and Mandy.
I guess it takes two to yeah, she's part of it.
She gets it.
It's just the hurt.
She's here too.
Yeah, I guess.
Stay tuned for the next one.
Y'all or Bob will host, you know, for his his anniversary.
He deserves it for his Mark's birthday.
He deserved this win.
If you haven't already go check check out Bob, my skirm,
Mark, Markiplier, me, Minion777,
or LordMinion777, and I guess we'll see you next one.
We have merch.
StoreDestractableStore.com.
Until next time, podcast out.
Happy birthday, boss.