Distractible - It's Okay, We're Engineers

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

This episode has something for everyone: TIkTok miners, Warhammer PowerWashing, and boat sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode, maligned Mark has luck lost the Eagles, loses Wade, and nopes out of Shama 40k. Whiny Wade can't get his dive on, has accounting antics, and collects pee-pee for water sports. Boating Bob the Power Washing Pervert finally admits he's a well-loved entity and tantalizes with Tank Girl Shaft. From ocular agitation to wake nookie. Yes!

It's time for It's Okay. We're Engineers. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to Distractible. How you doing, everybody? I'm your host, Markiplier, joined by the ineffable Wade and the bontificus Bob. Can I say I'm very effable? No, you don't want to be effable.

Yeah, you don't want to be. You can be effable if you want, I guess. You want to be ineffable. That's a good quality to be. I thought you wanted to be effed. I think you get to be effed by one person, but you don't want to be effable. Ineffable means, like, you can't be described. You, uh, like, you have qualities that are mysterious and captivating

and and stuff like that dick is out of this world say if you go in and out of focus constantly while we're recording an episode that makes that makes one ineffable oh god okay ineffable i'll take it yeah i do think it is just this particular one but one of things that shall not be named but i shall never name i shouldn't rub my eye like that. Word to the wise, for all you distractible listeners and watchers, don't rub your eyeballs. What you want to do is take a nail file, so it's not your finger, right? And then just like...

Your eye regenerates super fast. It's good for it. It's like shaving down a callus. You don't want it to get too thick. Or if you think you have a hair in your eye, take the vacuum cleaner. That's awful. I hate that I have a slightly tangent story of that Chica had a hair in her eye, and I didn't know what to do about it because she was fine

She was staring at me, and I saw big hair across her eye, and she's looking at me smiling wagging her tail like yay Yay, yeah, you know how she does and I'm just looking at this gigantic like yay yay yay you know how she does and i'm just looking at this gigantic like hair in her eye and i'm like what do i do do i i can't do anything like i can't reach in there and i try to rub like she loves having her like face rubbed in eyes rubbed i'm like ha ha it moves up towards the center of her eye i'm like oh god she's looking at you through the hair like father father this is the most you've pet me in so long i love it if you move your hand close to the dog's face you know how they'll like they'll flinch you know and so i just do that a bunch so she blinks that eye and it's like ding ding ding ding ding ding and it's

like i see now there's two hairs in her eye but she was fine and then she went away rubbed her face on the floor and it was gone so i'm like no okay all right she knows what to do about that you know you don't have to help her at all she's fine yeah it turns out i i just make things worse but yeah that was probably the most uh the most discomfort that chica's ever had in a day uh was that moment there she's a very very happy dog what about the day she lost her legs oh well she got him back so you know she always she had hope hope you know really fueled her what about the day she ate your brick house that was a good day for her bad day for me okay so uh bob and wade how are your lives um wait i had something for this uh no it's gone mine's hell mark mine's hell you know why it's hell i can't play hell divers i spent four and a half hours trying to get it to work

20 pc crashes later and then i find out it's because well apparently a patch went through a little while ago and it's the anti-cheat or something and apparently the game was built on some ancient engine that hasn't been used since the 1700s but maybe it'll be patched and by the time this airs i'll be able to play but as of right now still hellless listen they have tens of thousands of people angrily trying to get onto their servers i'm sure they're gonna get right on fixing your one specific processor that happens to just not work for unexplainable reasons that'd be nice hey bob you lay off him okay he can't even play hell divers yeah he can't play hell divers you think

how can you be so mean to such a man? Think how much suffering he's going through missing out on the greatest gaming experience of the decade. Maybe even the century. Probably the millennia considering we're so early. I once heard your mom tell a doctor that you were very famous and very important. Maybe you could talk to

Mr. Hell and get me in. Mr. Hell's his father. He goes by Divey. Talk to your dad. Talk to get me in. Mr. Hell's his father. He goes by Divey. Talk to your dad. Talk to Divey. I have to get my mom to talk to Divey. Yes, please. Whatever it takes.

I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I can't guarantee that she won't go off on some tangent and start talking about how famous I am again. I'll take the risk. Something would definitely happen if your mom talked to them. I just feel like it's a really low chance that anything's going to happen for Wade. But I feel like she could make things happen. Your mom is that kind of person.

She does not give up. She is strong-willed. I feel like she would make it happen. I don't know what it is, but she would make it happen. Anyway, Bob, I give you a point for nicest. And Wade, I give you two pity points. Do those have the same value as regular points? Even if they don't, their acronym is PP, and I'm okay with that so lives no hell divers for a way that's really really sad i thought but bob was

that your small talk you brought up how sad wade's life was wait no i i'm famous that's my small talk wade wade interrupted my small talk with his you said you didn't remember i i remember this is not what i was gonna say but i'm famous i ordered some stuff from there's not a sponsorship or anything i just buy stuff from these guys order some stuff from d brand company that makes like cases for devices and skins and all kinds i made an order and apparently someone on their like creator management team saw my info and was like is that bob from distractible and sent me an email and was like hey bro thanks for buying stuff we didn't even what and i was like yeah i love i've been dying d brand for years i'm just you just noticed huh hey i know that phone number

and address i sit outside that house all the time you're like oh you're just now noticing me meanwhile my dms and my emails are empty uh yeah no anyway it was nice so thanks d brand i appreciate that and i'm looking forward to the stuff that i ordered they didn't give me anything i think he might have offered in the email but like who would give you some stuff and i was like i just bought the stuff i wanted but maybe you may ship it faster expedited anyway that's like the first time i'm sure you get that all the time mark and people are like oh it's mark player but that's one of the first times ever someone has like just seen my name and been like oh we should send this guy a nice email it seems cool well that's very lovely that's lovely. If the ads I see are true, Mark honestly promotes every company out there.

I've seen him endorse everything. I love this. Yeah, no, dude, Mark, you are just shilling out there, man. There's a lot of ads. Let me tell you, there have been many cease and desist sent out. Many. But they keep using them. And I keep going to my lawyers.

It's like, if we actually just sue them and they go like yeah that's a lot of work oh man I don't know about that I'm like wait a minute isn't that your job don't you isn't that what lawyers are you not that kind of lawyer are you just a letter lawyer they sit on a throne made of Mark's money and Mark goes to them like guys we could just sue them and they're like pull out their cigars from the pile of money they said i'm like that's too much work mark listen you pay us to do our jobs we do it we sit here we tell you we got you ah yeah let's make today the episode of disparaging the lawyers i think that's probably i know some lawyers who deserve that i don't think yours do but some of them do lawyers get them you don't

listen to this but that's fine here's the reality of it is like unless it's disparaging like unless they're using my image in a way that is like very negative obviously negative towards me and harmful towards my likeness brand whatever yeah my person um it's much harder to like have a very clear and cut case and take that to court and stuff. I haven't seen this, but what if they're promoting like alcohol, nicotine, tobacco, stuff that it's like your audience is not necessarily old enough to buy or legally consume? Oh, yeah. Because a lot of the audience is under those age limits, at least in America. Well, the cease and desist do work like most of the time it works. And, you know, the people that originally do it, you know, there's been a lot of companies that

don't do it anymore because it's still not cool. But then you got the companies that are not from America promoting all kinds of nonsense. You can't even get the letter to the right person. So it becomes a little more convoluted. People might be saying like, well, no, wait, Mark, you're just going to encourage people to do it more. And I'm like, no, no. If they do it more, that's easier to sue. So honestly, like, yeah, if they take it a step further,

I'm not too worried about it. Either stop or be way more brazen about it. You're sitting in an annoying zone right now. He's gone from telling people not to do it. More of you need to do this. Mark loves this. Yeah, you're sitting in that legal gray zone where the effort isn't worth the reward. Please push it a little farther.

Because then lawyers get really excited. So now we're going to get the video of someone talking about people using Mark for advertisements. And we're going to have Mark on top of that video saying he loves this. He endorses this. You should just make another set, a green screen set, where you're standing on the other side of the screen. And you're like, he is a liar. I hate this. Just start overlaying that.

That's actually really funny. I'm going to give you a point for creativity on that one. Okay, Wade, how's your life? Well, I still can't play Helldivers, but otherwise pretty good. I've been enjoying Pal World. I've been enjoying Enshrouded. I've been loving Lethal Company. It's tax season.

Love that. I'm in the process of switching accountants because I'm an idiot and I love to do that right before taxes are due. This is a terrible time to do that. Why would you do that? It's like you got like a month. It's a complicated answer, but it's necessary. Was your accountant stealing from you?

No. Basically, they're going through a merger and a bunch of people are leaving and it's just kind of been a mess. And I've, I just feel like it's not a good spot right now because I've been asked, like we did. So I don't want to get into it too much. People probably don't care, but I did like a tax plan where they go through and they're like, okay, in order to lower your owed tax amount, if you do these things, you know,

we can put that on the form, you know, charitable donation, stuff like that. And they give you like a number that they think is good to do we did one and two months later i got a call they're like hey do you want to do a tax plan for this year and i was like oh this is gonna sound crazy but didn't we do that like a month and a half ago and they were like yeah it looks like it do you want to do another one hold on would it change anything to do too does the benefit keep coming around and we just keep doing them because yeah more i guess yeah like how much more can we mitigate they're like that probably wouldn't change anything that's like then why would i do it billable hours come on help me bill some hours come on and then like obviously this person was like kind of embarrassed on the

phone about it they were like oh i don't know i i honestly don't think you need to and i was like cool anything else nope Have a good day. And that was kind of the first indication in my brain that like, man, this feels like maybe I need to go somewhere else. Yeah, probably. I would have had more respect for them if they had just started doing the bit, but in reverse it where they're like, oh, you're breaking up. Oh, you're driving through a tunnel. Click.

Wade sitting in his basement like, oh, I guess the house is driving through a tunnel click wade sitting in his basement like oh i guess the house is going through a tunnel damn kind of tunnel-y i guess i can't really see what's going on outside oh man that just reminded me of tunnel girl have you been following this escapade oh the saga of tunnel girl on tiktok yes let me guess wade you don't know of course i don't know oh it's okay we can we can fill you in on this, Bob. Do you want to take it? This is a very interesting story. Yes. So this lady has a TikTok and she started, this is not the only thing she's posted.

She's also done some other kind of unhinged stuff, but she started this series where she owns a house and she was like, I am an engineer. I am going to start mining under my house. And originally she was like, I'm going to make like a survival shelter, like a tornado shelter, bomb shelter. Originally, she was like, I'm going to make like a survival shelter, like a tornado shelter, bomb shelter. I'm going to dig out the side of my basement and mine and make a new room underground. Right. And so she started this whole escapade of like she was digging out.

She was extracting dirt. It's in her home, in her basement. So she's doing this in the place where she lives. Right. So it's kind of hard to get stuff out, get big chunks of rock and stuff out. So she keeps escalating. She's's digging she's running into rocks she's getting jackhammers she's running electrical and building like wood you know it looks like a mine shaft right she's building like wood supports and stuff she's putting timber in she builds an elevator to get to like an industrial mining elevator on the side outside of her house to like get big loads of dirt and rocks up out of the basement into the side yard, all this stuff.

And it keeps escalating to where now she's just like, she's just in it, just keeps going. And she starts talking about, oh, I found a really great layer of like limestone. I'm gonna mine it. I'm gonna cut it out in big chunks so I can build a castle with it. These are gonna be my castle stones.

And she just, it just keeps going. A castle? Yeah. And she runs into problems. She runs into problems with water she gets a big pump she starts pumping out the water she runs all this stuff and throughout this whole thing she's kind of people are kind of like on her side and some people are kind of like this is this seems you're digging under your house you're maybe digging in other people's property like this seems sketchy and the whole time she's kind of just like i'm an engineer i'm an engineer it's fine that's usually a good yeah that's legal defense do you want to do the turn mark or do you want me to keep going because it's so it just keeps escalating escalating

it reaches a point and the mark so all of this has been in your mind's eye what you imagine this lady's doing it's true she is digging a straight minecraft tunnel going down she has a minecart bringing things up she's really efficient about this going down. She has a minecart bringing things up. She's really efficient about this whole process. Oh, there's a minecart in tracks. Yeah, I forgot that. Yeah. And in the back of your mind, you might be going like, wow, this is probably required

a lot of permits. Well, the funny thing about that is you're right, but also wrong. Because if you just start digging and don't tell anybody, no one's going to know about it. But here's where Kala made her first mistake. Good thing no one knows about it. She was posting TikToks about it. So the rest of her town, the local government got involved

and things started to get revealed. Kala is not a mechanical engineer, not a, you know. Civil engineer, geological engineering. She's a software engineer, which I'm not looking down on that is an engineer that's a type of an engineer that's not the type of engineer that has any meaningful knowledge about mining geology rock structures building structures anything like that i mean that's the same thing as like having something horrible to go on with your computer and you call a civil engineer or something to come work on it they just don't they're not that's not the one

you want yeah but they can figure it out. It's close enough. How dangerous can it be? I have to annoyingly pause you for a moment. I have to take this call. I'm so sorry. Wow, Bob, I guess you should have kept the story going. I guess I wasn't able to do the turn. You lost him so hard, Mark.

I've never, I thought I was like, you know, setting that up. Oh, wait, hey, Mark, you know, when you left the other day and when you came back, Wade and I were all like, oh, like we did a handshake deal. We didn't. We were just like, let's pretend like we did a handshake deal. So we could do that same bit to Wade. But is there anything you want?

Because I'm here for some chaos. Oh, some chaos? I don't think it's against the Constitution to do anything. So just think, is there anything you want? Oh, yes. I'm sorry about that. It's the thing where I have someone coming to my house and they were calling and it's like, don't show up now, don't show up now. We're good.

So yeah, so they had inspectors coming over and looking and they went in there and you know, if you were to go into someone's mine under their house and you look at it, you could probably imagine their faces. They were a little like this. Oh, my God. You know, looking around. Well, looking down, actually, like what the fuck? You know, because it's not common to dig a tunnel under your home. It's a unique hobby. Yeah. And this this tunnel goes about, I believe it's like 10 meters down and in one direction.

Then it makes a 90 degree turn, goes 10 meters down until she hits the water table. Had to drain that out, which you know the thing about the water table is... It doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. There's just water in there forever. Well, they call it the water floor. Table's very finite. But the thing is, the thing is the thing is there was

sensationalist reporting on both sides of the story because at first it does seem ridiculous right however people dig tunnels all the time and in reality when the inspectors went down there to actually look the engineers uh who were you know they have degrees that pertain to this particular discipline they went down there and they're like yeah you know she's doing everything right uh if she gets the right permits she can keep doing this so long as it doesn't interfere with like the foundation of her neighbor's homes or her own foundation everything's good and so long as she doesn't hit any kind of like uh wiring which was like kind of a bigger thing when you when you have to do any kind of excavation in construction you have to get permits and also get diagrams and schematics of where all the wiring is or gas lines yeah they come out they spray the ground to show you where not to dig

and all that yeah exactly or you hit the rainbow roots or you hit the smelly roots that cause explosions you know these are not good things that you want to hit but usually under a house is not likely to get there once you get below a certain level they only dig down so far to get these uh pipes and lines yeah because sometimes pipes break they don't have to dig a mile to replace them so she started in her basement and then went down from there so she was actually already past that so she had checked a lot of boxes either by accident or through planning we don't really know because some of some of this this lady's's Instagram content is relatively unhinged. She recently went to a partially decommissioned industrial plant in Ohio

that used to be the sole producer of uranium and plutonium-based metal extrusions in America. That part has been decommissioned, but the other half is partly working. And all she did was put on a hard hat and walk right in and started looking at all the scrap around there. And she was like, I'm not going to take anything because that'd be illegal. But I am looking at things to talk about later because there's some really cool gizmos they got in there, probably irradiated and probably horribly contaminated. Neat.

Well, she had a hard hat on, so she was safe. I want to say one of the other things that I think was the funniest that i saw her post about was she i think it was on her property it may not have been there was this little tree like not quite a sapling but like a little tree barely a tree and it like the trunk snapped you know and it sort of like fell over halfway up and like that's sad and she was like oh i'm gonna save tree. And she like glued it back together inside the crack, the living part of the tree. She took like super glue and was just like, ah, wood glue exists. And it's good for wood. No, that's not how you keep it.

That's not good either. Okay. Water tables, fine. Wood glue. In case it's not apparent, that kills the tree also, because that middle part is where all the water and stuff goes. But anyway. We assume that she is an adult engineer.

As an engineer, she probably knows. Well, that's true. You know what? I'm not giving her enough engineer credit. You're saying that she checked a lot of the boxes? I do feel like a lot of her interaction is she'll she would post a thing where she's like i made progress look i built this new and it'd be like a cut out you know like a mine shaft thing with no supports or anything and people would be like but build some stuff in there jesus christ

but in the next video she's like look i built some supports so it's all good guys don't worry about it and there i think there was one where she was down sort of deep in the shaft after it had been going and she had a geiger counter and it was just like and people were like radon radon and then at some point like so one of the next videos she was like it was full of radon don't worry i got some fans yeah you know about that weird right you're swimming in radon yeah did you know uh whenever the fan of your radon mitigation system goes out it goes every six minutes non-stop for a week and a half it was like every three to eight minutes it was an average probably a six it started off it got faster and faster as the week went on but i will say this it sounds like she's listening to feedback she's an engineer she's an adult with a degree we normally trust this kind of stuff to minors so why couldn't we trust an adult

he's got a point i'm gonna give you one pun point for that thank you you got a lot of p points here many many p points it has just swimming in pps jealous bob a little uh why man this freaking thing hey hi, everybody. If only you owned other lenses, huh? Well, I like the look of this one, and it's one of the few, like, cinema lenses that has autofocus, but being one of such as that, it, it, I, it, but literally, I think it's just, I, this particular one is faulty. The rest don't do that. I think this one just is a bug.

Did you wash it in the sink with soap and water, Mark? Yeah, I did as the guide instructed goodbye i'm hello and then i did as the guide instructed on reddit from the reputable people and they might have led me astray my camera's never been cleaner though so that's very nice yeah that is nice so this was described as a turning point is she still still doing it right now or did like they no it's she's not allowed mark painted i think a rosier picture than i got of they basically were like you can keep doing this we'll give you the permits if you can find like an engineer firm to look at what you've done write up some official plan type things which then we can approve retroactively and my understanding is that there's a zero percent

chance that any engineer that knows anything is gonna put their stamp on that shit and be like yeah yeah yeah let her keep going like so my my understanding is it's done unless she wants to go about it covertly and starts doing it against the rules of her city or whatever it's it's done she's done what happens with the hole it's just a big hole just a big hole it's a tunnel i mean she could build stuff in it her plan was to make it like a like a livable part of her house right so now she could build it out as her survival shelter slash fun bunker well i hope she gets lots of extra fans for radon and has a nice big pipe to blow it all out plus she's in the water table so free water you know so

that's that's something uh speaking of free water it's finally stopped raining in la which has been nice wow i can see the sunshine on your face thank you well i can't it's an artificial light okay is the la river clean yet is all that stuff in there washed away forever now that it's been an absolute tirade let me let me look uh let me look at like the la river uh webcam this was streamed one year ago no no no all right i don't know where it is i don't know if that's the information we're looking for the webcam got washed away yeah probably um but yeah no it's been it's been pretty rainy and that's all nice and finally some sun is out there so it's like man i i sometimes forget when you live in like los angeles people are always like it's sunny all the time here and

that became my default it's been cloudy and overcast for like two months straight like a cincinnati winter out there i know i know i do miss it but also i kind of i i never realized how much i took it for granted just how much sunshine we got here and how nice that was all the time to have sun just constantly flooding in. Because you usually get to the point where like, ah, that glare on my computer screen. Ah, that glare on my TV. Get that sun out of here. Stupid sun. Go away.

But yeah, no, I miss it a lot. Anyway, I have a very limited amount of time for this episode today. Oh, who won? Hmm? What? Who won? No, we're not done. Oh, Mark, I know that you're saying you have not very much time, but I have an important announcement for you. Alright, I'm ready. The release date has

been revealed for the crossover between Power Wash Simulator and Warhammer 40k. I saw! It's like a match made in Mark's brain and they're calling it power washer power war shammer 40k oh man that's another pun point for way i've only taken pp today but you know a lot of people have been like you know looking at me and you know the soy jack like pointing like you know just cry tears of joy looking at it see the thing is like this kind of falls in the same zone uh goodbye uh this falls

in the same zone as another facet of warhammer that i have no interest in whatsoever which is miniatures and i know that's like the bread and butter of what warhammer 40k and warhammer in general is all about it's a toy company right they sell miniatures that you're supposed to paint these washing a model of like a 40k thing gives me no greater joy because there's no lore in it what if they did hide lore in it you wash it and there's hidden lore revealed oh that is something that 40k would do if any franchise would would do that, that would be a thing. But here's the problem. I know almost all of it.

And the lore that they would put into a power washing game would probably just be reiterations of things that I already know. Baldemort is in the same boat as this, as he is one of the lore masters of Warhammer 40K, in that he's told so many stories and written stories himself. If people didn't know, the narrator at the beginning of this podcast, his name is Baltimore, and he does Warhammer videos as well as other videos that we have shouted out on his other channel about history. And if you want more of his voice, you can go to his YouTube channel, Baltimore, and then through his associated channels there, you can find more content if you want more

of that. And he talks in his videos, so you do get the voice that's uh they're not just silent movies be really weird to have a silent lore video just him no him sitting there holding books like we are lucky to have him as part of this oh thanks guys are we in 40k can we be putting 40k i don't have that what do you mean you ask me? You said you guys have stories Can you talk to Mr. 40k for us, Mark? Right after Mr. Hell Yeah, I'll get right on that, guys

Oh, actually, get your mom to do it. She'll get it done Oh, okay, cool. Right, yeah She would, actually. That makes a lot of sense Uh, what was I talking about before this? I interrupted you You said you were saying you don't have a lot of time Something, something. Right.

Okay. I think I'm going to shift gears because what I have is a bit more discussion than, well, it's more of like a structure than what we have time for. Sorry, everybody. We have, this episode is going to be just a little bit shorter, but we're going to jam pack it with entertainment. The likes of which you've never seen. It's going to from here on out, pull over to the side of the road.

It's about to get wild. It's like a quickie. I mean, it's of the road. It's about to get wild. It's like a quickie I mean, it's really fast sex Yeah, best sex go I think we're married. We have to say our spouse man. Very boring question What are we just the type the person the location? What are we me? I'm the best sex best location This is theoretical. It doesn't have to be experience. What is the best place to have sex? A boat.

No, you know what? A boat, boat, boat seems right. If you're having sex on a boat, that's, that's an, that's a pretty good experience. I probably. You want sex to make waves and what better way to make waves than on a boat? That's a good point. That's a very good point. I don't know who said it first.

Was it you, Wade? Me. I said it first. All right, Bob, you get that point. You get the boat point. don't know who said it first was it you wade me i said it first all right bob you get that point you get the boat point yeah boat point that feels fair can i get the power wash point thing because it still says has pp as an acronym no because i i disputed that one look if you are you saying that bob did not say boat first no one's saying that well it's not disputing all right okay all right we're going with that i can't because it's not a pp what if it was a pontoon boat wait Wait. Oh, I'll take the pontoon point. But no one said pontoon.

I did say that pontoon point pontoon boat. Well, Bob actually just said pontoon. So no, no. I said it first. Yeah, I said it first. So I'm disputing that Bob said it first. No, I was here when it occurred. So I know when you were also here when I said boat.

But like you somehow forgot that. But I asked for a clarifying question because i didn't remember who said it first he said boat i said pontoon and then he said and then you didn't dispute it he said boat i said pontoon i feel like wait she's trying to change the facts here all right i don't know how to score this i might have to scrub all boat related points because i can't keep track of them that's fair we're gonna power wash boat points yeah i'm removing all boat points imagine being power washed while on a boat during sex someone just like spraying you down that doesn't sound good at all yeah that sounds relatively unpleasant i don't know i've never tried it but knock it till you try it you want

to try it wait i will be your power washer i feel like i can't just ask on my own i might need to talk to my no no let's commit to this right here right now like sweetheart i rented this boat let's fuck by the way bob's here no you know that's the thing that has to be a surprise to get the full effect i'm i'm in the back in the pontoon boat i'm in the back by the gas cans with the power washer and as soon as you there's a code word you shout the code word and i spring out and just like i have to look up what a pontoon looks like because i just didn't think there were many places to hide in a pontoon no a lot of pontoon boats have things you can absolutely hide a human in a lot some of them have changing rooms where it like pops up so

you can change into your bathing suit the seats themselves even the older ones you can like the seats lift up that's where you store your life jackets and stuff for some reason i was thinking like a navy seals like all black like jet boat like a thing but made of rubber i thought that was a pontoon i thought bob you were just like in in like a full black wetsuit you know with a baklava on top with a power washer that's also just like pure black and you're just laying in the corner i would be up i would be up for that dude that's funny that that came up. I saw a video online last night of a woman who did that to her husband. His gaming room is all blue. She painted herself blue and hid against the wall.

And then he was like gaming and she was just like chucking stuff at him and then being like, he couldn't see her. It was really funny. Oh, yeah. I have a weird boat related story to a pontoon because I looked up pontoons and some of them have a slide on them. Right. And so when I was up filming in Canadaada for edge of sleep uh the director was like

i'm gonna rent a boat and we're all gonna go out on a boat and i'm like okay cool this guy has driven boats before he must have that's not a requirement to rent a boat yeah i know but in my ignorance i would assume like ah he has experience in this. We're going to be fine. It didn't even cross my mind of like, like there's going to be no problems. Didn't even think about it. We get in the boat and he's looking around the control panel, like turning the wheel. Where's the gas pedal?

I thought there'd be some kind of gas pedal. Yeah. And he's looking around for a little bit. You know, I don't think anything of it. You know, some of the cast and crew are there. And the boat is in the middle of the marina that they're in, like the middle, like the center closest to the shore. And if you ever know, like, a boat dock, there's a lot of little alcoves and narrow channels for this thing. And a pontoon, I'm looking at it.

It's about the size of the pictures I see. It's quite long, quite wide. It's basically a rectangle that is a boat He gets it going with the help of the dock workers and there I look at the dock workers and they're like Like they're worried Talking to people because I believe they've encountered situations like this before I didn't know what was going on the director hits the the throttle which is on the side, goes and it just starts going forward right towards

another boat. And you just see the teenage dock where he's going and sprinting along the wooden docks, jumping on this other boat and just like physically going like this to prevent it from hitting. You know, the director starts turning and then this just means he's gonna

hit it broadside. It's because of momentum. There's a boat secret service. They have to take a boat to save the other boats. Yeah, exactly. You can have the submarine come up and just the buoy submarine. And then he eventually works it out.

But through the sheer power of these, like Doc Rooker sprinting from one side, pushing it the other way, he drifts towards the other boats on the other side and eventually we make it out so that's my i was wondering i was like i don't know what a modern pontoon is my grandparents had one but the but they got the boat in like the 80s or 90s or something there was a key then you just have the little speed geary that's pretty much it that and a steering wheel like there wasn't that much to work with there's a lot of other buttons on a boat well excuse me not not

that one i hope the engine had trim on it at least where you angle the engine up and down nothing this is why i wouldn't be driving the boat well okay well you their engine you could lift up and but i'm saying like if you're just driving the boat and the engine's already in the water that's a very simple cockpit setup for a boat but well this was an old one too but literally there's like there's the horn there's the steering wheel the horn i think was a separate button there were no lights on this boat no my grandparents boat no well there actually you know there might have been but we didn't go out at night very often i'm pretty sure it has to have lights to be registered is the thing i think there was a light switch but we never have really

had to use it we never went out at night i'm also trying to remember 30 years ago yeah well being out on a boat sounds terrifying i've at night time like i i've never been on anything that wasn't like a rental but i can't imagine wanting to go out in the middle of the night and be like we'll find that one dark spot on the shoreline back don't worry guys when i was very young we slept out on the boat one time and it wasn't terrifying it was just really cold like really cold like anchored the boat on the water and slept on it well so we went into like an alcove we dropped anchor but we also like roped because the pontoon had like i don't know if they all have this but it had like little hook spots on all four corners so

we actually like roped it to trees and rocks on the shore and then we just slept on the boat and we woke up and like the water was like glass it was so still it was really cool that does sound kind of cool damn i don't remember using like it had lights it had a horn but like it was steering wheel then it was just key throttle and uh whatever the fuck the other thing was called but that was it the thing that you're thinking of is the throttle the big lever that makes it go forward and backward there was another thing where you could like give it more gas without having... Because sometimes it would have trouble starting up, so he would lift some little lever. That's probably a choke.

The choke, that sounds right. But I mean, sure, there was two gas tanks on the back that you'd hook up to, and then there was the engine. And the engine, sure, you could lift up and then prop up. But it was like you manually lifted it, put down the metal thing to hold it in place, and then there was another lock on it. Yeah, so it didn't even have hydraulic trim. was pretty much it there were no other buttons my grandpa

eventually put a fish finder on there or something but like oh those are fun that was its whole separate contraption and we're talking like an ancient fish finder that would show like little like five pixel fish or if it was a big one it'd be a seven pixel fish and then sometimes it was this 300 pixel take up the full screen and you see this giant fin go across. It's very strange. Shit's broken. That would have been awesome, but terrifying.

But no, I didn't see that one. Uh, okay. The worst place to have sex. Oh, on your parents. On your parents. Can you think of much worse? That might have mind beat. What? That was quick, but that just came to me

time travel back to when you were in sixth grade on your childhood school bus while you're on it with your classmates that would be a terrible crime there are some moral and ethical questions about yeah that might be a criminal act actually probably but also that would that would be a terrible place to have sex do you have to time travel well i just you're doing it to yourself at that point i feel like that makes it worse that's fair there's a lot of interesting not interesting i guess you wouldn't know that it was you so maybe while you're doing it you have to lock eyes with your past self and be like i'm you that's an important part of it i guess that's right you're gonna tap this one day all right my might have might might be a

little convoluted and or concerningly uh criminal and horrifying but it's not not good at a funeral home during a wake i that has definitely happened that probably happens more regularly than you might think so on on your dead parents is what you're saying. During their wake. At the funeral, during the wake. You asked worst, man. You made our brains go here. Did you mean most uncomfortable?

I just said worst and you both said the worst. There's no need to go deeper. You went worst. Although sometimes there's a need to go deeper, man. I'm deducting myself more three more points for uh being responsible for this that's fair man the next question that i actually wanted to ask was if you could try and travel what would you change and i don't think i want to ask that. I wish I didn't see my future self

having sex. There's another question below that says, if you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done? And I'm like, they would never guess that. Wade wins that a point for that one. I lose the most points across the board for, well, they said beating Mark. Yeah. Yeah yeah you both are beating me handily like extremely handily oh man man time sometimes you look at it and it's marched forward so quickly that you never had time to sit back and appreciate it for what it was what's the weirdest body part to be attracted to you think no i like that question that's a a good question. Like a tooth, a fingernail. The weird, absolute weirdest body part. To be like, oh God, show me that.

Like a cheekbone? No, that's probably pretty common. I would imagine cheekbone is probably pretty common. Show me an x-ray of your kidneys. Yeah, if you're counting internal, that like opens up a whole bunch of... Yeah, let's leave it external then. Let's leave it external. How external does it have to be?

I was thinking like the inside of the nose. Like your... I feel like holes are pretty well enjoyed. The part you pick. The part you pick. The part you pick. Somebody wants to be nose fucked. Yeah, no, that's probably true.

That's probably true. Oh, God. Am I responsible for this as host of this episode? I don't... Somehow you are, Mark. I read a Nuzlocke comment where someone got eye socket fucked. I told Sean... Mute him! Mute him! told sean i don't i'm not gonna do that i'll give you a point if you mute him oh okay you're not even gonna put up a i was giving you a chance to fight wade that's uh

if you're not watching the video wade just made a jester, which I'm pretty sure is not the American Sign Language sign for eye fucking. Oh my God. Okay. All right. I'm ending it. I'm ending all of this. We're short on time today, but boy, howdy, did we waste it.

I've never felt more irresponsible for moments of life that have seeped away from our existence. If you little shits could hear me, you'd answer my question. We can hear you. I turned you back on. You're fine. Oh, hey, guys. I didn't get to answer my question. What's the weirdest body part?

I don't know if there's a really a super weird part. Okay. You know how some people in the back of their head, they have like back neck rolls sometimes probably that. I don't know if like rolls could be fun, but all right. That's fair. I was thinking like a toe, like, oh man, show me your third toe yeah no i guarantee you i guarantee you yeah no that's the thing i was gonna say something about feet earlier but people are definitely into

feet that's yeah i doubt there's a part of the human body that people aren't willing i keep thinking of things like i just thought of like oh third nipple but like i bet there are some people out there who would be like oh you have third nipple huh fascinating you know how rare that is fascinating love to see that someday let me lick your lifeline yeah i don't know if people are as into hands as they are into feet but i guarantee you it exists so no i i can't really think of a part that i think i would say is weird here's the thing the human body is a beautiful thing and no part of it is ugly and everyone should be happy put your nose in my belly button baby everyone should be happy except for wade molly lives a wonderful life i tell her that before or after she puts her nose in your belly button you live a wonderful life you live a

wonderful life you live a wonderful life put your nose in so i can tell you remember boat remember boat remember boat okay so tabulating the points bob led led off strong with, um, what did you, what the fuck was that first point? I wrote descriptions for every other point except the first point that I gave to Bob. I think it was small talk. What did I talk about? Oh, I'm famous at D-Brand. Oh, yeah, famous.

That's right. So that was the famous point. Okay, all right. Wade kicked it off with two pity points, and then Bob earned multiple points for the tunnelated discussion. Three points there. You had two tax points for both of your tax plans, Wade. Wade, you got a pun point. You both got various boat related points that had to be scrubbed.

And then you both got horrible sex crime related points that I felt bad to give. Not a crime to fuck on your parents. Well, you know what? That might not be a crime, I guess. I lost three points in the beginning for some horrible thing that I did and then I lost three more points for bringing up this topic of discussion

that led to the train wreck of this episode and wreaked devastation and havoc across the countryside. So the big loser today is me and the big winner today is Wade with one point! What? Wait, hold on. By one point or with one point? across the countryside. So the big loser today is me, and the big winner today is Wade with one point! What?

Wait, hold on. By one point or with one point? By one point. Surplus one point. Oh, okay. You gave us a lot of points for me to only have one. It's like a jigsaw puzzle

where there's one point, but we had to build to it. No, no, that's how it goes. You get the one famous point, the three... Wait, does that mean that you have to give the loser speech, Mark? Yeah, I think so.

I'm the Omega loser. You give winner speech. Well, thank you for hosting this short episode. I think it was a good quickie. It was just long enough to get everything in I wanted to get in and get out everything I wanted to get out. So appreciate it. Well, thank you guys so much for participating.

Thank you, everybody, for listening and watching at home. Be sure to follow the podcast and share it with all your friends and family. That means you, because you are the future of this podcast. And without you, we are nothing. We are dust in the wind. We are sand between your toes. Lick it. Sad.

Ew. Or don't. Okay, whatever. Anyway, follow Bob and Wade at their respective channels, MyScravenLord, Minion777. I've been Markiplier. But more importantly, this has been Distractible. I'm Podcast.

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