Distractible - It's Over, It's Done

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

Wade honors your mom, Bob gets harassed by a spider, and Mark has a very special announcement. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Fizz. Hey, you know what I like changing every month? PEEF I can read between the lines of your thoughts, Bob. Are you looking for a new mobile provider? Well, Fizz does things differently. They offer complete transparency, no contracts, no hidden fees, no false promises. The more you stay, the more you get rewarded with dollars off and free data.

And you can even roll over unused data each month. Try the other side. Switch to Fizz. Check out Fizz. Check out Fizz.ca. That's F-I-C-Z.C-A. Conditions apply. Good evening, gentle listener,

and welcome to Distractable. This episode, usually balanced Bob tears Wade a new one and gets jumped by an intruder. Moopy making Mark thumps his pole in the bath and catalogs the crushing carnage of creation. Wicked Wade gets double teamed, gives a PSA on delivery etiquette, and caroling betrays his baldness.

From Chapstick Gate to Mr. Villeneuve. Yes! It's time for It's Over, It's Done. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to Distractible, your favorite podcast on Earth. My name is Bob. I'm going to be the host today because I won. And that's the rules that we play by. I host the other two guys who are here, will compete, and the winner of this episode

will host the next episode. And that means I'm the host because I'm the best and I won. Anyway, the guys who will be competing to be the next host and second best on the podcast, I think, are Mark and Wade. Say hi Mark and Wade. Hi Mark and Wade. Hi. Hello Bob. I disagree with what both of you chose to do, but I appreciate that Wade followed my instructions. Uh, hi, yes, hello. Are you guys ready to compete? Yes, I've never been more ready. Okay, that's ominous. I have a thing planned, but traditionally we do before-

Cease! What? Silence! Host? SILENCE! HOST! I'm giving air quotes for those that aren't watching. HOST! I'm frantically trying to look up some- something so I can have an accurate thing to throw in your face!

I'll wait for your insult to load. No, I'm trying to find on the subreddit because there was- there was history in the making! Right. HISTORICAL PRECEDENT HAS BEEN SET! The system works, and it works for Right. Historical precedent has been set. The system works. And it works for me. Because I put a poll.

I put a poll on that subreddit. About the injustice that occurred in 20 questions part 1. Or whatever the stupid name it was named. The extremely fair and good episode. Yeah, I don't recall any injustice. You mean the one where you couldn't figure out what silverware was? It wasn't silverware. I figured out what silverware was. The one where Mark forgot what a fork is and that it can be made of plastic?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Wade had a type of ball and Mark had a type of fork and somehow Mark's was unfair. You picked Wade's passion ball. His ball of passion. You like forks, dude? I've seen you use them all the time ball of passion you like forks, dude I've seen you use them all the time bro. You love forks I am half Korean you can practically say that I was born with one chopstick in my hand I am NOT a fork man. Yeah, the other one had a fork cuz you're half German I don't know what they use in Germany if it's forks damn them. It's definitely forks Germans are big forkers. That's true Yeah, they're huge forkers, but Bob you lost I threw a red flag on the play and for the first time in

Distractable history the audience the viewership the listenership those elegant elegant people were on my side in a landslide. All of them agreed. Almost all of them. A vast majority. Plastic fork was not fair, especially given the circumstances of the answers that Bob was giving,

somehow saying that Wade's could be metal at some point. No, I see, but that was the thing where I originally said it could be metal, but I was like, that doesn't make sense. And then I said, it's not metal because basketballs aren't made of metal. I corrected it in a way that made sense. See, this is the thing. This is the thing that gets me.

Subreddit, all of you in the comments were like, oh, Bob said this, oh, Bob said that. You didn't even listen to the goddamn episode because I didn't say any of that shit. People were just making stuff up to take Mark's side The people putting words in my mouth that I never uttered Either way, the plastic fork was injustice And therefore I invoke article

of the distractable constitution to spin the wheel of fairness Oh god, I forgot that was a thing God, I hate that that's called Bob's One Man Show with no W. Oh, shit. What we decreed was that just because injustice occurred does not necessarily mean that the entirety of the episode must be overturned, even though the entirety of the win kind of hinged on this one thing because we only had one.

It really didn't. You just really sucked at 20 questions. I know that because I hosted one, too. And I won. No, you were terrible at it. My win was awful. I remember. Disgusting. It's fair because I now have a 47% chance to get that win back. It's not guaranteed. We're throwing it to fate and fate decrees that it's not all in my hands it's just a chance that it's my win but also it could still be Wade's win because fate might decide that yeah I gotta say when you loaded it in you

don't have to spin it because it's already declared what it wants I haven't spun it already done Ben spun no it hasn't I think actually it defaults to Bob's one-man show when I first loaded in here, so I do that Case why is it on Wade Wade? Do you want me to reload the I'll reload the goddamn page? Okay. There we go Is that better? All right, so if for the people that are only listening it's a circle you're not missing out on much It's a circle 47% of it says mark wins 47% of it says Wade wins and 6% as decreed by the Constitution says Bob's one man show as written by Mark and Wade

And so what was the deal for that you two write a one-man show for me that I then have to perform as like a bonus Episode yeah, how long is that to be? I don't know like 30 minutes. Oh god. We'll see about that It'll be fine. It'll be fine. It's just like a solo. Let's play without the game. Am I obligated to perform it well No, we don't done anything. Well, hey speak for yourself. Come on now. I am are you prepared to let fate render judgment? Upon it would be really anti climactic if all this happened just for Wade to get the win nothing happened I know we didn't really think that through did we cue the music? Yeah, maybe the editors leave that to the editors. Oh got it I'm going to spin this wheel and fate shall decide what happens in three two

one I don't like how it lags on our end It's like a pixel away from the one-man show happening I mean, yes. Yay. You're right. Mark has vindicated and everything's good and no one has to do a one-man show Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee though justice has been served but oh man fate wanted you to know bob that you're on thin ice yeah that was that was a warning shot across the bow I guess next time I don't know a simple household object I'll just protest to well you have two flags so oh I didn't actually buy any no you got them for free I'm out of flags until the next season what's the next season next year yeah it's like annual oh hell yeah hell yeah, dude. Or it's actually bi-annual, so maybe whenever we get on a boat, I think is when the season ends.

And the next time we're all on a boat. The boat's the the bipedal episode or something by something. I thought you were the one who knew the word bipedal. I do. We have to stay on the boat. Good job, Mark. A win for you, sir. Thank you very much. Add that to my total. Ta-da! And take it from, well, yeah, take it from Wade. I don't think so. Yes, you have to subtract one from him and give it to me. It's a net zero, Wade count, win count. It's a net, Wade, you're a zero count. I didn't screw up, man.

Why would I lose a win? Cause fate just gave me the win back. You're the one who didn't know what a fork was. You got your win, just be happy. You didn't even know what a basketball was. Why are you pretending like you had any better luck in that episode? Uh, I believe I won that episode by knowing what a basketball was. You did win that episode. That's true. Anyway, fate is decreed. Bob, you're on thin ice. Wade, you lose a win. I get a win and the episode continues. Respin.

Nah, I'm good. I have never been more terrified of anything on this show than of that wheelspin Was there any clause to increase the chance after the next no, but we could do whatever we want I mean the constant what is a constitution anyway? I feel like next successful flag should have 1% more chance for that one-man show fuck double it Percent yeah, what are the odds it'll be you again in the hot seat? Since we're talking about past episodes and people getting screwed over, I just want to put this out there. You've all made a terrible mistake. I in Wade's 20 question episode, I rose quite a stink about the idea of ChapStick being a container and then the subreddit talked it over and it's seemingly unanimously agreed

that somehow Wade's answer was correct, that chapstick is not a container. And I just want to, like, I dare you to show me chapstick that's not in a container. I dare you to go to a store and buy me some chapstick that's not just a plastic tube. I think that that is the most outrageous bullshit. And I just want to say, you've all made a mistake. Chapstick's in a container, it's not a container. The item called ChapStick is a container filled with lip balm. The container is an equal partner in what the item is.

If I gave you a handful of lip balm, you wouldn't be like, oh, ChapStick! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You'd be like, what the fuck is this? Why'd you take the Chap chapstick out of its container? I can't use that, that's disgusting. You just, you ask weird questions. It was a weird question.

I gave you the best answer on the fly that I could, okay? I'd be like, is it medical? And you'd be like, yeah or no. You're like, would you say that it spins? It's like, well, you fucking could spin it. The question I asked is, is it a container? And you were like, well, yeah, no, no Yeah, no

Hey, you know what I did. I shared all of my responses and your questions with Mark and Mark's like yeah I think you did it well. Yeah, of course you did great. Excellent I am NOT gonna say anything about this except that I kind of agree with Bob You literally agreed with me during the episode post actively wait You want to throw a flag about that you do it? It's unflaggable You can no longer challenge the offense plus the subreddit already declared that I was right You know, it's the damnedest thing Wade We went out to eat the other night and I sat down and the waiter was like, what would you have?

What do you want to drink? And I was like diet coke so a bitch just came and poured diet coke all over the table and he was like you didn't Say in a glass if I said that if the option was coke and you said is it a container you would say yes coke is a container I would say it comes in a container I would say a container is a crucial part of it You cannot buy Coca-Cola that doesn't come in a can or a bottle of some sort even if you get Vaseline It does still come in a container. So he's kind of... The container is implied. It comes in a container.

It is not itself a container, which was the question. The item of ChapStick does not exist if there is no container. You know, it's the damnedest thing, Wade. We ordered Dordache for dinner the other night, and I was like, give me some fajitas. And and Mandy wanted like a quesadilla. And they just dumped a pile of Mexican food right on the porch. Now we're getting into cannoli territory we cannot say there's a difference

between containers and cannolis and a fajita is basically a flat cannoli and we can't do anything with it a fajita in a bag is it a super cannoli no no I mean that's just a lay the fajita is basically a cannoli right but a fajita in a bag would be a cannoli and a cannoli no it's just cannoli in a bag yeah it's cannoli in the bag cannoli in a cannoli. No, it's just a cannoli in a bag. Yeah, it's a cannoli in a bag. It's a cannoli in a taco, really. Honestly. Well, technically every fucking thing could be in a container.

I want a bag of house. My house is also in a container. Not things that can be in a container. Things that always come in a container. The container is an important part of it. The chapstick thing, it is a fancy container with a built in mechanism to extrude things from. I got it. Bob doesn't know what lip balm is. I'll never use it again. If you ever ask me for anything that's supposed to come in a container, Wade, and you don't specify that you also want the container that's not part of the item you asked for, God help you.

You better not ask me to bring you any body wash or lip balm. You better be careful what you say. It's all I'm throwing out there. Got it. I'm not upset about this. I've just been thinking a lot about it and think you're going to rue the day. I was upset during the episode because every question you asked was fucking annoying as hell because I didn't know how to answer it. It was like 20 questions.

It was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm fucking presenting my thesis. Just ask if it's medicine. I've never had you two at each other's, going at each other. It's always been me. And finally the rift. Yeah, no, you're the one who threw the flag and I'll just put Bob on the spot.

I'm the one under assault. I asked if it's medical. And you were like, eh, kind of. I need to rewatch this episode. I feel like I gave great answers. No, see, this is fine. You're just trying to get me worked up. I'm not gonna fall for your trap.

Also, are you still hosting? Didn't Mark just like usurp a win? I think it's just the win goes in my bucket. There's a season champion, so the season, the win numerically is important. Wait, you won last season. Do you not remember that? I did?

Oh, hell yeah, dude. I can't think of anyone more deserving. Ah. Anyway, so I think before mark started all of this I was about to say we usually do small talk first. Oh, yeah You guys got any small talk. I forgot we were recording. I thought we were just chatting I forgot we were live this whole time I'll let Wade go first Oh, I would love to go first before he talks for like half an hour about his dumb lenses

or his movie or whatever. I got stuff too. Yeah, and Mark's definitely gonna talk about lenses today. That's what's on his mind. This whole episode has been about Mark so far. It's not been Wade central enough. All right. I don't know what happened recently.

I had a great Mother's Day. Thank you for asking. Yeah, Did you get the praise you deserve? I got none, which is probably fair because I don't think I'm a mom. Okay. Here's, here's a question for you boys. Cause this is something I talked about with Molly and I was like, do we wish everyone we know that's a parent a happy mother's day or is it like, do you keep it like close family? Cause I was like, I was going to reach out to like Mandy and Addie and like all these people's really like, I should say happy Mother's Day. And Molly's like, I think you just say that to like close family.

And I was like, do you, so do you guys wish like everyone to have to use Mother's Day or like just your mom and maybe like a grandparent? I think for me it's anything beyond like a text or if you happen to see someone just being like, Hey, happy Mother's Day. You're a mom. Happy Mother's Day. Anything beyond that, like sending a card or a gift is too much.

Okay, do you text all your friends that are moms? I did not, but like if I was talking to someone, I would be like, oh, it's Mother's Day. Yeah, happy Mother's Day. I mean, we're talking about other stuff. Yeah, that's fair, but you don't reach out to- No, I wouldn't like go reach out specifically and talk to them.

So I was going to Molly's like, I don't think that's normal. And I was like, is it not? Cause I'm a social person. So I just over socialize, I guess. It really sounds funny. If you would have done that, I wish you would have cause I would want to know

what people's responses would be. I've done it before. They're just like, oh, thank you. But also if it's like you just text your friends, I think about you being a mother, you're a mother in my eyes and I'm honoring you today. I text people I don't even know, like text my ex, like, Happy Mother's Day!

That child is of your womb and is fed of your bosom, and I think about it often. Yes, yes, yes. It fills me with joy to think about your child and you and how your mother and... May you have a bountiful existence as a mother, the only definition of you in my mind Congratulations. No, I don't think if you had done that

I don't think that would be weird But I think that's like the maximum extent and I think not wishing people out like in your friend group Happy Mother's Day is perfectly fine I don't think I don't think anyone is sitting there like how the fuck is wait not gonna text me Happy Mother's Day on the one day a year as As the main character, I feel like people want me to. You feel like they really need that from you because it means so much. I did have a funny interaction though.

We actually, we ordered food on Mother's Day and had it delivered because my, whatever, long story short, we ended up cooking over at my mom's house. We did delivery. The person who delivered the food, it was a mom and a daughter. And so I was like, oh, well, happy Mother's Day. Whenever I took the picture, she's like, oh, thank you.

Happy Mother's Day. And I was like, thank you. It was that thing like where you're going on the airplane, have a safe flight. You too. Because she said Happy Mother's Day back to me. And I was like, do I laugh? Thank? No. How do I respond? Because I'm not a mommy. That would have been a good response. You should have gone with that. I've always been like, it's your mother. So you would honor your mother on such a mommy. That would have been a good response. You should have gone with that I've always been like it's your mother, you know, so you would honor your mother on such a day

I've never really thought of it like honors a strong word Wait, where's wait, I think I feel like honor honor is a good word for it. Why is that too strong of a word? I guess it's the perfect word for it It's pretty spot on, probably. Well, I guess from your perspective of texting your friends who are mothers, if you texted them, I honor you this Mother's Day, yeah, that would be a little strange. Next Mother's Day, Mandy better be ready.

Everyone better be ready. Don't even include context, just send a big group text that just says, I honor you, all of you. What? You, you know what day it just says I honor you all of you. What you you know what day it is I honor you today. I shall bow before the Sun a hundred times for each of you today I'll do like upcoming event. I honor you day. Wait, it's invited you to his iCalendar event honoring you

I mean honestly that I would be pretty cool. I'd go. Can I go? I'll get some like teal carpet to roll out. When is friendship day? When do we get honored? By Decadal, I think. By Decadal actually is what it's really called. Where's Decadal?

On the stove? Is this the pot calling Decadal black? For those who aren't watching, Mark looked very sad when Wade said that out loud. What? Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha For those who aren't watching, Mark looked very sad when Wade said that out loud. No, I was laughing. What do you mean? No, I was laughing! You like, your head went down, you were all... No, I was... I was chuckling to myself. What do you mean? Just because I'm in a tub doesn't mean I'm sad. He laughed, but he was sad that he laughed left because he doesn't like laughing at my jokes

An inch from your microphone chuckling so quiet no one could hear it Push the gain on my you'll hear It's like those crunchy beans, it's just more like Exactly it's there it's actually the Freddy Fazbear chuckle. Okay. All right. Water. Water. The other small update I had was this is more of a, don't do this. If you work at a place where your job is to go to people's houses for, I don't know, repair, lawn care, installation, delivery, double check the address, especially if it's going to be, I don't know, repair, lawn care, installation, delivery, double check the address,

especially if it's gonna be, I don't know, in the middle of the night or first thing, 7.30 in the morning or whatever else. And even if you get it wrong, mistakes happen. Whenever an owner answers a door, looks like he just woke up and is very confused about your presence and you say you're there to install or turn something on they're like I don't even own that your

response shouldn't be well you must I'm supposed to be here it should be oh I must have made a mistake and you double check your address because I had someone show up at my door at 730 in the morning and I was very confused having only been asleep for a couple of hours and they were like yeah I'm here for such-and-such and I was like we don't have that here. And they're like, oh, well, says here you do. Something's wrong, cause we do not. So I don't think you're coming into my house, sir. Get away.

And he fought me on it for a few minutes. Well, probably like 20 seconds. It felt like a few minutes. But like, instead of just admitting he might've made a mistake, he was like convinced, no, I'm here for, you're the one who's wrong. And I was like, you have the wrong address? Nope, this is the way of place it took me. And I gave him my address. He's like, that's not right. It was like, that's crazy. Isn't it? And then he left. Why would you argue

with a homeowner that says that you're not supposed to be at their house? Look, people are stupid. They don't know. People, people don't even know their addresses anymore. You can't trust them. The dude knocked, rang the doorbell, knocked. Like he rang the doorbell before the doorbell was even done ringing. He was knocking and it's like, dude. Oh, you know what? I will say I don't understand people that do that. I get it where it's like you ring the doorbell, you don't hear anything. Maybe you knock and see if that, but people where it's like the note, the doorbell and the knocking start simultaneously and it's multiple doorbells. Like I get you're here to do a job or whatever, but that's rude.

Is that not rude? The man is sitting there like... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Brought to you by Fizz. Hey, you know what I like changing every month? Pete, I can read between the lines of your thoughts, Bob. Are you looking for a new mobile provider? Well, Fizz does things differently. They offer complete transparency, no contracts, no hidden fees, no false promises. The more you stay, the more you get rewarded with dollars off and free data.

And you can even roll over unused data each month. Try the other side. Switch to Fizz. Check out fizz.ca. That's F-I-C-Z.C-A. Conditions apply. Well, that's good small talk. Since nothing else is going on, you guys wanna move on to the topic of the episode? Wait! Wait! Yeah, what's the topic? Wait! Oh, Mark, what's going on? What happened with you? I have news. I have news. I did it.

Ewwwww. You used the toilet. I'm in a tub for that. I did it. You made a poopy. You ate soupy. You went out to lunch with Snoopy. You agree that chapstick isn't liquid. It's goopy. Chica had a poopy that was gloopy. You're tired. You're feeling a little loopy.

Yes. Yes. All of this is true. You watched an episode of Snoopy He already said Snoopy. You had to run away in public from a groupie. No, no that no You're the little nosy got a boopy I made a movie. That's a rhyme. That's a near rhyme. Alright, okay. I made a movie That doesn't rhyme, that's a near rhyme. Alright, okay. I made a moopy! Eyyy! Moopy! Eyyy!

I did it! Ah, well, okay, so alright, here, before I get ahead of anything, there's a little more- Are you in the final stretch of something? Sure. No, it's like, there's a little more to do, this is the final stretch, guys, but- but my part in sprinting at it is done. I did it.

For now? Yeah, well, technically for now, but I did it. Does it feel good? Are you happy? Yes, actually it feels really, really good. Can you share like a title of the movie or anything with us? Oh yeah, big spoiler guys.

Hold on to your hats, everyone. Keep this to yourselves They pronounce it iron yeah, yeah weird weird how do you pronounce iron iron? Alright iron over here. Mr. Pirate you Ron me Wade Iron it's iron lone you would know you made the movie about it. Oh, man I wish I could talk about like a bunch more stuff around it too because there's been some hilarious calls of brand Just in the middle of the movie it's just like Diet Coke I would love I wanted to do something like that for space.

Is it Truman Show-like where you go like to the middle of like some action scene you're like, Oh shit, if only I had Band-Aids. I choose Band-Aid, Brent, cuz Band-Aids stick on me. For In Space, I wanted to- I wrote a sponsored universe There was going to be a choice that led to the sponsored universe and it was gonna have all of these brand deals in it And everything fell through like it didn't work. No one wanted to do it They like where was it in it? And I'm like, it's buried in like the 16th layer. Oh, I don't know Dude that people would have sought that out

If as soon as someone found that they would have posted online and been like wait, there's this there's a sponsored one What and everyone would have been like I have to see this and would have done They would have made the map and everyone would have looked it would have been very funny It would be very fun. But no, this isn't stuff in in the movie It's stuff like, you know movie integration integration in other things. Uh, so just some very funny calls. I can't talk about any of it, but it's like, one, I had to call David, the developer of the game, immediately after I got the call, and I was like, what do you think of this idea? And he just, I, all I heard was laughing on the other end, but then at the end of it he was like, you know? It's so dumb, I think it circles back around to being awesome.

And I was like, I think it circles back around to being awesome. And I was like, I think I'm in the same boat. So I have officially finished my main part in getting the movie to the end, which is, I've been doing basically every part, or I've been involved in every part. There were a lot of words in there that remind me of like legal things, where like a lawyer's giving an argument, what argument where they call like weasel words We're like I have done most of my main part for getting this movie Kind of near the end I'm just trying to say that I I'm not trying to take credit for everything right because there's

Over a hundred people that have put like their time and their sweat. I've not heard a single name other than you David Dr. David. Yeah, I mentioned David. So yeah, ha he's wrong Yeah, that's true. That was literally another name. He just said in like the previous paragraph. Yeah, I know I amended my laughter well anyway there's a ton of people that have put a lot of work in but a lot of people have been like curious why I've Been so busy in this and I'll give a little explanation of this as in like let's just say the past week right so for the past week as I've been gearing up for what I

do all the time which is cast and crew screening which I show them a version of the movie as soon as it's like well I've shown done this for heist and in space but I haven't done it for obviously a movie so this was like the first version where I could finally step back and look at it as a whole and be like that is the complete story it still needs polish and there's still like some VFX shots that need to get up there. But this has everything in it. And then for the final version, it will be an optimized version of this version. Right. So that's what I was gearing up towards every day.

Leading up to it for the past week has been, well, pretty much the same as every day before that, which is I wake up at six, I fix up some edits that I needed to do for the night before, I get some files ready for handoff, I get into the office at like 930, the post production house, I start handing off to the editor on site who's doing the conform cut, and then I get them the files they need. I have to drag my entire raw hard drive array, bringing up hard drives again, but this was important

because I needed to learn about that to be able to manage the 120 some terabytes of footage and things that needed to go with this. I disassemble it every day from my house. I bring it to the office, reassemble everything, get it all set up, I have already copied the files over that needed to be copied, hand them off to the dude. 1030. I can finally get a cup of coffee. And then I go into sound mixing with Brad to go through the story. And if you guys know anything about

sound mixing for these projects, Brad is an Emmy award winning sound mixer. He is a professional of the utmost degree and he's a really cool guy. His name is Brad Engelking. He's just like super solid, really talented and down to earth and he's a really cool guy. His name is Brad Engelking. He's just like super solid, really talented, and down to earth and has been like really instrumental in making this sound amazing. He has over a thousand layers of sound in his Pro Tools session. And that's not even the most that could be in a movie,

but he works like with thousands, thousands of layers. His computer does crash all the time, so he has to deal with that, but that's on him. And then we go through every sound. We have to go through every single one. That will take me, unless I have a step out, which every day I do, to help with conformed stuff, give other notes, VFX things, talk with other people.

That will take us until about seven o'clock. Then, at the end of the day, I know what I needed to change from there to get him what he didn't have because some things have fallen through. I take that home, I work on that until I pass out at 10, wake up at 6, get at it all over again. So that's the usual. That's the usual schedule.

Last week has been, especially the past three days, I was supposed to fly to LA on Saturday. It's Tuesday for those watching. It's Tuesday, yes. I was supposed to fly to LA on Saturday. It's Tuesday for those watching. It's Tuesday. Yes. I was supposed to fly to LA on Saturday for the A100, which is the Asian Pacific Islanders event. It's like the top 100 or something. Most influential. I was on the list or I was at least adjacent to the list. I actually don't know because I didn't go. I didn't end up going because on Friday night we were late. It was 1 a.m. because we were sprinting to the finish. And we'd been mixing all day and Brad was running into some trouble. And so I was looking at it and

I was like, man, I guess I probably shouldn't go. I really wanted to go, but I couldn't go because there was so much left to do. So it was like, we were like really going. And he doesn't usually come in on weekends, but I asked him if he could. And he was very nice. And he said he could. Because we needed a few more hours. I don't go I get up at 4 a.m I'm sure we're going on the stuff He gets in at 9 and we're going through the day and then he renders out the sound for the screening and it's like, okay This is good. We're good. Everyone's happy So we watch it back because I want to watch it to make sure everything is working right at 9 30 at night

We realize that the entire third act has no There's no sound effects has no music and has only my So it is it's weirdly it was still enjoyable to watch but there was there was quite a lot missing So I text Brad at 10 o'clock at night and we were like we're Jumping around taking notes as we go and I asked if he could come in the next day and he does and we noticed some more fixes and so we get out of there from watching and touching up everything at 2am. I get up at 4, I start working on the tweaks, I get them in and then I think the showing was at like 5 and I walk out of TBD on the way to the theater at 4.15pm.

And so, I got there and then even at the theater, I fucked up the settings. So there's 10 bit video and there's eight bit video. I've played the whole movie in eight bit and it was really dark. I just felt so stupid. All that work. I just felt so stupid.

Like everyone at the post house was like, you gotta make sure you use this thing, the setup. We set it all up for you perfectly. And I get there and it's like, and I I'm so late there that I don't have time to test anything. So I get there and I have, I have just like, I hear sound and I'm like, okay, perfect. I don't look at the screen. And they're just going, does it look right? And I go like, yeah, it's fine. It was an audio only movie.

I get up in the up in the first five minutes and I get the microphone out, cause the cast agree, you know, it's like, they all know who I am. And I go like, I'm so sorry. Can I please try some fix this? It's not supposed to be that dark. I could hear like the DP Phil was just like,

oh no, he threw up the color, it's so dark. We haven't even done the color pass. I was just like, Phil, I promise it's not that dark, I promise. And I couldn't fix it. So I was just like, is it okay that it's dark? And everyone's like, it's fine. No.

No. No. No. No. May I fast forward a little bit in your story to Monday, whenever, Bob, I don't know if you want to take over, but you texted Mark. Yeah, well, so you didn't, you weren't in Austin were you, Wade? No, so you't know if you want to take over, but you texted Mark. Yeah, well, so you weren't in Austin, were you, Wade?

No, so you and I were both invited to this screening, but Mother's Day made it a little bit complicated, because Mother's Day is when the screening was, and it was like, well. And we had both Manny's and my parents over, and it was a nice Mother's Day, we had a good time. But I felt bad, because I know you've been literally working on this for years.

And so on Monday, late in the morning, like I didn't know if I was gonna sleep in or what, I texted you casually, and I was like, hey man, I'm sure the screening went well. Just like congrats, you know, you did it. You finally have like some time for yourself for a minute. So I, you know, I hope that's good. Something like that. Something casual just to be like, hey, congrats. And the core of it was like, I know the screening went well. I'm sure it was awesome. And it sort of took a minute. And then at one point Mark texted back and let me pull it up so that I don't

misquote anything here. I say what I said and Mark goes, yeah, it didn't. It's great to have the weight off the shoulders for now. And I text back, oh no, it didn't? Like, oh dude, crap. That exchange happened at like 9.30 in the morning. Yeah, 10. Yeah, 10 AM is whenever you said, Oh no, it didn't at one 30 mark text back.

Cause several hours later it is like, Oh, it did. That's a weird auto correct. Waits immediate text was like, Oh my God, I was trying to figure out what to say to that. I was sleeping. I woke up to my phone buzzing at whatever was 10 a.m. and I read the exchanges like sure the screen went well. I read. Yeah, it didn't great to have the weight off the shoulders for now.

I was like, oh fuck. It really did because even though it was dark, it was fine. It wasn't that dark. The difference would like to have been the shadows were just a little like super dark, but you can still see most of everything and all the cast crew loved it. It went great. I was super happy to do that. And I was able to see it in full context, step away from it a bit

and look at and be like, OK, I know what the polish that it needs is now. But at least it's so much easier to polish from a working like it's all there kind of deal than still try to get in there with a surgical knife. And it did go well. But I was helping like my editors who came into town move out of the Airbnb in the interim there. So it's like, I texted that like, yeah, it did. Great to have that off my shoulders for now.

And then I was like, I gotta go work. How did it auto correct to didn't? That is a complete reversal of the intention of my message. I don't know, but I woke up to the text and I woke up and I was like, dude, I am too like out of it to respond. Oh no, what do I say? And then I woke up a couple hours later I woke up and I was like, dude, I am too like out of it to respond. Oh no. What do I say? And then I woke up a couple hours later because my sleep schedule has been whacked lately because the animal, whatever, long story.

Woke up later and I was like looking at it again. I was like, okay, how do I console like encourage? And I'm thinking this through. Like how do I word this? Several years of his life built up to this moment. Yeah. And the casual dismissal of just, yeah, it didn't. I was like, he was just so like, what is he OK? Like, we're offering to go down there. What do I do?

And then you're like, oh, it did. That's a weird autocorrect. And I was like, my just my brain was trying to wrap around that just flip of like hours of like pondering what to say to you. And it was like, oh, cool. Yeah, I have no idea. But it was so good because no one's seen any of this. And still it's not ready, but the cast and crew, they were there and they were able to

like give me their thoughts and really like they all of them were super ecstatic to see it come together finally and to like see the visual effects in there and all of the, even though I told them like there's still a little bit left to go. They were like, I didn't notice anything even missing. So it's super cool. It's, it's really good. And the final version will be even better. I just, I'm so, I'm so glad to be at this point. It's super, it's been a lot of work, like a lot of work and I can go into the nitty gritty later. I'll probably do a video on my channel talking about it in deeper, but yeah, it's over.

Well, I'm glad it went well. Cause I don't know how Bob felt, but I was like, dude, he just casually dismissed years of his life's work. Just like, yeah, it didn't go well, but you know, I'm glad it went well because I don't know how Bob felt but I was like dude He just casually dismissed years of his life's work just like that didn't go well, but you know, I'm done with it Yeah, I was a little concerned about that. I wasn't sure I was ready for some long phone calls or no, it's good Hey went well, that's good. So for my fuck-ups in the Video, but it's fine. I did feel bad that it got to Mother's Day because it was originally that Saturday But then I got an email the day after I was like it's gonna be this day hey you're gonna be on the list for the A100 and I'm like fuck Sunday and then I didn't even go I didn't even go for the reason that we

were but I needed that extra day because of the whole- but you needed Saturday so I did I didn't need Saturday. Imagine if you had it on Monday. You could have had your 10-bit and everything just keep pushing it back It'll have everything if you just keep waiting Well the final when it actually when it goes to everyone it'll it'll have everything because I won't be running it off of my laptop That's that's what that'll be well you say that but I hope you have to go to every theater that wants to play it You're like Oh god, here you go with what you want You think I would have learned by this point now? I have so many theaters left with tears just so disappointed

Is this how they do movies? You have to fly to every theater and play it from your laptop? Yeah, that's true movie magic man movie magic. I feel really bad for seeing Avatar twice. James Cameron must have hated me Yeah, the dune man. Mr. Dune was really pissed off at me I couldn't believe it is he is he like in my attic when I watch it at home or how does that work? Yeah, yeah, he has well he has to make that sound Climb up there The villain ovey the villain oof That is Villanova. Villanova.

Villanova. Villanova. I don't know. I gotta say though, before I forget, I looked up Brad. Brad is a, he's got a lot of accolades. I wish I wasn't bald for the first time in many years because I love his hair. The way I would recreate his hairdo is I would get a balloon

and rub it on my head and like, he's got like this wild hair look, but like it works. I feel like this is kind of a backhanded compliment. I'm like, don't you dare. It's not meant to be. I'm just saying the picture that came up is like him with like a dress shirt looking and his hair is just like all over the place on top, but like it works.

His Emmy pick is pretty badass. I'm not gonna lie. And I could never forget to do with my hair because I have weird hair whenever I had hair. But like that look works for him. It wasn't meant to be backhanded, but it's like that messy but like but it was but you guys took it that way Brad I know you're a big watcher of the show it was just it was just a compliment there were no hands yeah Brad Brad only

listens to good audio I don't think he probably no that's an insult to our editors wait I meant that as an insult no no hold on wait hold on not even content you just insulted the editors. Listen, he's got an Emmy. We weren't in Emmy losing work. Yeah. I don't think that's how they phrase that, Wade. I think it's an Emmy nominated work.

No, we have a title of an episode that's literally the Emmy losing episode. You guys already did it, you can't take it back now. Holy Jesus. Ooh. A spider just jumped out of my sun somewhere to in front of me. Ah, somewhere. I thought you said your sun where I was like, you have like a sun hat. Like literally, I was looking at my desk and just out of nowhere was just like, and now there's a spider on my desk.

Hey bro. Hey, we have two guest episodes this year. Spider. How are you doing? You want to be on the show? Hey, arachnophobia warning for those out there don't like spiders in case it kills Bob. I'm yeah, hang on. Can you like trap it in something and run it outside or throw it out a window? I'm trying to trap it, but I don't want it to touch me. Hey, Mr. Spoo. Hey, no, don't go over there. Oh, you're a jumping. You're a jumping fellow.

I think this episode of our podcast is going to win us an Emmy. Can you get an Emmy for an episode of a show like this? Oh, no. God, hell no. Maybe. Oh, God. What happened? Oh, he jumped away. Son of a bitch. Well if it's a little jumping spider, it's not gonna hurt you. Ah, but I don't like it. I know that it's not gonna hurt me, but if it touches me, I'm gonna- also I spilled liquid on my desk.

Where the hell did you go, you son of a bitch? Oh man, I didn't tell you guys. Two weeks ago, you know I've been doing everything for my MacBook, right? Two weeks ago I spilled Red Bull on it. Oh. And the keyboard, the whole right side of the keyboard is Completely sticky like every button you press it and it comes up like a second later I have not had time to fix it. It has been just the biggest nightmare

Well, you learned your lesson in drunk Minecraft. You always keep an extra keyboard around I had to go buy an external one, but sometimes I don't have space to do it So I have to look it's oh man the last two weeks. It's been so crazy That's like it's been fun. If you could relive the last two weeks all over again, would you do it, so I have to live it. Oh man, the last two weeks have been so crazy. Sounds like it's been fun. If you could relive the last two weeks all over again, would you do it? If I had to, yeah, of course.

Would you want to? Kinda. Let's see, okay, this is the thing. I love the times when you're working on something that you have to put, and you have all the momentum to put everything into it. I love being in that situation. It's not what I would call fun in the moment.

Losing sleep is not fun, but it's satisfying to know that you're doing everything you can. You're putting every fart, it's that every fart of it. Every, it's the flow state. Right? It's the fart flow state. God, man, that was about to be profound and I ruined everything.

I liked the way you took the direction you went with that. That was interesting. We went from Emmy nominated speech to Emmy losing right there. Every single fart of it. But there is something magical about that. It is nice. You know, speaking of Emmy, Brad last week, he grabbed his Emmy because they have it in the office. It's in the shelf outside.

They grabbed it. I thought you just brought it to edit like, see guys, I won. Yes, exactly. He brought it in at midnight because we were up there late and he slams down on the desk He's like, all right, I can do this Yeah, yeah Come on, mr. Emi, give me your juice He told me his story about there was someone else who won an Oscar for sound editing and every time like someone he was working

With someone and they gave him a note he would turn to his this is some not him but someone else I'm not gonna name I don't even remember the name he would turn to his Emmy and he'd go like I don't know what do you think hmm no I'm not gonna do that I don't know who that was I'm deeply uncomfortable can I just reiterate that, you want to take care of that? I can't find it. It jumped away into my desk area and I'm not saying my desk is messy, but I am saying that I lost the spider. Is it because your desk is messy? It might be. Okay, you know what? He's fine. He doesn't want to mess with me. It's fine. I'm fine. Until you're not.

You know what? We did the whole episode of Small Talk anyway, so unless anyone else has important things to talk about, we can just end it here so that I can burn my office down. Oh no, I got plenty of things to talk about to keep you from getting that spider out. Oh, okay. What's going on with you, Wade? Is it good?

Oh, I defer my time to Mark. Mark, talk some more. Oh, I mean, I got tons to talk about if you guys want me to. I'll talk about my kind of exploration into starting to do visual effects myself. That's something I've been doing and also learning about the nightmare that is trying to render things.

Yeah, it's really boring. But is it rewarding? Not that part yet, but it will be some day. Are you okay? He just really wants to end the episode so we get rid of the spider, which is why I'm drawing it out. There's a little spider somewhere around here. I don't know if I mentioned that just a little jumping.y they're very cute you know those spiders are very cute.

It's fine it's fine if he jumps on me and then bites me I won't be mad at you for saying that he's cute. He's not one of those like really funny dancing jumping spiders that people keep as pets he's just like a little brown jumpy bitch spider. Bob I sympathize with you whether a spider is good or not I do not want it in my office in my house near me it could be outside like on the porch is fine you can have a web like in the tree in the front yard that not want it in my office, in my house, near me. It could be outside, like on the porch is fine. You could have a web, like in the tree in the front yard, that's fine. As soon as it's in my house, it is my enemy. Mark, you're doing Blender and whatnots and it was very...

What were you doing? Blender video effects? Yeah, a little bit of Blender, Unreal. I was starting to look into Houdini. Houdini is like the industry standard for certain types of simulations and a lot of final effects. It's a very, very... It's not casual software. Let's just say that it's not meant to be used like in a very,

I'll try this out kind of way. I mean, you could do that, obviously, but it's meant for huge, huge simulations. And like it's meant to be expanded and it's licensing kind of costs an arm and a leg. You should try Penn and Teller. It's a bit more modern. Even David Copperfield. This is me sad not laughing That's what you looked like when you left and it was just as quiet. No, no, no, I wasn't All right, whatever. I'm done. Okay. Okay. Hey Bob. Can I have a sympathy point for agreeing with you?

Uh, I already gave you all right. You know what? We'll go through the points now. I actually kept track of points I have to or I'm gonna get the goddamn wheel again, aren't I? points I have to or I'm gonna get the goddamn wheel again aren't I? I fucking better keep track of points! That nothing puts the fear of God into you like watching a wheel spin that where a chunk of it says Bob's one-man show written by Mark and Wade yeah I wrote down points and explanations that probably make sense and everything man fate really knew what it was doing when it was that close to giving you the one man show anyway I I do want to say I had a topic for this episode but I had a Man, Fate really knew what it was doing when it was that close to giving you the one-man show.

Anyway, I do want to say I had a topic for this episode, but I had a sort of a side rule And I'm gonna go ahead and apply that to this episode anyway. It's sort of a tiebreaker situation But we'll get to that if we need it. Oh, it means we tied. Mark, hell yeah. Wade, you gained points for Living in the wrong house, other stuff, ignoring Mark's sadness, David question mark, complimenting Brad's hair, and commiserating with me about the spider, which gives you a grand total of six points for today's episode. Sounds like a lot for this, this is well thought.

Mark, you got two points for making a movie. Oh, sweet. You made a movie, it's worth two points on this podcast, Mark. So I hope it was worth it. You got a point for sounds. You got a point for confusing texts. You got a point for ignoring your heritage and staying in Texas to work on your movie.

You lost a point for insulting our editors. But you gained another point for Red Bull on the movie, and then you gained the last point that you gained was, I wrote down blended Houdinis. Oh, because of the blender, yeah, no, sure. Which leaves you, Mark, with a grand total of six points. Look at that, we do need the tiebreaker. So there was a secret tiebreaker rule.

Who's taller, who's taller, who's taller? And Wade, it was basically in your hands to decide who wins this tiebreaker. And I got bad news for you. The rule was if Wade complains more than three separate times about something being unfair towards him in the episode. Oh, God. Yeah, I wasn't going to win that. He loses in the event of a tie. What did I complain about? There were four times that I noted and they were almost all within the first like 20 minutes of the episode where you were complaining about when we were talking about the Constitution

stuff and the wheel spinning. One of them may have been kind of jokingly, but there were three pretty serious complaints where you were like talking to the subreddit. Only three or four? That's not bad for me. I'm sure the subreddit will go and audit this and will have strong arguments and feel very vehemently that I am wrong. And if you do so subreddit, I just want to warn you, I don't have to read you.

I can just leave. I don't have to go over there. I can get my stuff from other parts of the internet that are nice to me. Should I throw another flag just to put Bob on the spot again? You gotta win it though. Yeah, no, it has to succeed.

They could not possibly say that something in this episode that used to be flagged. And before anyone challenges that, congratulations to Mark, who wins in the event of a tie. And congratulations to Wade on the loser speech you're about to give. Wait, Mark wins in the event of a tie? Yeah, because of the rule that I was just talking about

and how you were complaining. I dislike that. I wanna complain about this. I don't like that rule. I think we should have better rules I think you know I complain and the deck was stacked against me to start what I think this qualifies as a complaint exactly so I can't even complain about the rule without violating the rule which thereby makes the rule unfair well it was a

secret rule that only it took place if we tied and all you had to do was not complain yeah but that's who I am you're wait, don't be you for a day, bitch. Alright, I'm gonna count this as your loser speech. Got anything to add as the end of your loser speech? Uh, ta-da! Mark, you made a movie and now you won an episode of the world's favorite podcast. Congratulations. Give us a winter speech happy to be at this point I'm going to be back into normal videos after this crazy to think about I Gonna be gearing up to leave, you know here soon I'm gonna take a little bit to visit some family, but I'm like this week is just gonna it's gonna be weird

I'm just gonna be back to recording. I'm not going into evidence of waters on Just in case that I lost oh that was so much water how long has it been going Thank God we don't have like two more episodes to do today It's almost like you're not supposed to hang out in a bathtub with pillows like that. I don't know when that happened The washed man all my pants. Oh, you can't see that but it's all Now if only your camera wasn't an 8-bit. Oh no This was in 10-bit we could see the wetness. Here, if I stand would you see it? Oh yeah, right there, that thigh, look at that wet thigh. Thank you, thank you.

Anyway, that's my winter speech I guess. Good winter speech I guess. You coming to Cincinnati? Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna say we live where your family lives, so that's cool. If you ever want to see him again, you'll come to Ohio. We gotta do the boat episode, we can get in the hot tub and do the boat episode. Yeah, we can watch the movie too if you want to see it Oh hell, yeah, so thank you so much for listening and or watching don't forget

You can watch these videos on only on Spotify they check out the merch store distractible. Oh fuck. I always make fun of you guys for this Cut that out cut that out Distractible store calm that's the one. It was just a hitch in my recording. It's fine, I said it real smooth. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, plus button Whatever so they always know when the next episode comes out because we do a lot of these Congrats on two big wins today mark big maybe Big episode win and weights here to good job, buddy. Damn. You gotta get a couple plates more Yeah, but I'm gonna tell you in podcast out this is bullshit. I hate it. I'm sad. I'm mad

I'm horny all of the worst emotions. I want pizza. That sounds good. It's because your pants are wet, makes you want pizza? It might be connected, I don't know.