Distractible - King of the Friend Zone

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

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This episode is brought to you by Uber One. Do you remember when we used to go get chicken wings, Mark? I know that occasionally I would be like my college grant money got into my college time for chicken wings. And in that case, Uber 1 for students is the best way to save money on Uber and Uber Eat. Members get great perks like $0 delivery fee, 5% off eligible orders, and 5% back in Uber credits on ride. Try it out now and get your first four weeks free. Become an Uber 1 for students member and start saving. on Uber and Uber Eats. Eligibility and member terms apply.

This episode A Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G home internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit T-Mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Guarantee's monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5D internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G networks. Spees very new to factor affecting cellular and networks.

Guarantee exclusions details at team mobile.com slash home internet. Good evening, gentle listeners or watches and welcome to distractible this episode. Bitmining Bob is bagging up. Home labs. Does derelict shafts. creates cards with the cards. Magnified Mark Ayramps's bathroom bates Wade and rambles to righteousness. Wireless Wade snubs

snow snores. Forgetsy podcasts, goes grizzly, masterfully memes, and brilliantly belts up. From hard listening to painful clenching. Yes. It's time for

King of the Friend's Zone. Now sit back And prepare to be distracted And enjoy the show Hello everybody Welcome back to another episode of Distractable That's right

You accidentally listen to this podcast yet again Don't worry, you have plenty of time to turn it off Before Stuff Happens If you never see the show before I'm your host Because I won the last episode And the two people competed to win this episode and host the next one, as always, will be Mark and Wade. Say hi, boys.

Hi, boys. Hello. Mark gets a point for listening. I knew the times I do it doesn't matter when time mark. God damn, I should listen. Oh, does something seem a little to you? Does it seem a little... Do you?

Huh? Oh, it does, but I'm not gonna... That's not even points at stake. You feel a little... It's unfair! Oh, boy. Whoa, all right, he did it. It was a bit, but he just did it.

All right, Wade has declared that Mark getting points for listening is unfair. Yes. I didn't even realize I got a point for that. Oh, okay. Yeah, that does seem. Okay. I thought he just acknowledged me. No, he gave you a point.

You listened. You said hi, but anyway, so all three heads, Wade is correct, and Mark will not get a point for listening, and Wade will get a point for not listening, I guess. Yes. All three tails. Mark gets bonus. points for listening and nothing happens if this is mixed.

Ready, set. I dropped my coin. Fucking shit. Tails. Oh no. Does that count as a flip or do I flip it? I dropped it and it's tails on the floor. Does that count as a flip or do I reflip it?

You got a triangle of fairness up into the screen. But remember, it's surface side up so you'd have to show it backwards. Wait, doesn't that mean, is it tails mean Marcus two points? This is my tails. It's a lion. The lion is tails. Mark gets a bonus point. I faded him into getting me a point.

This is a great episode. I hope it's nice and short and that we can have soon. This is just not my season. It's just not my season. Not your life, buddy. I win and I'm not really the winner. The listeners of the winner. It's just this is not my season.

All right. Well, now that that is made doubly fair, Mark has received his extra super fair, double fair points for listening like a good boy. Yeah, they're competing to win. I said the stuff. I'm the host. Yeah, whatever. Uh, small talk. How's it going there, fellas? How are we doing? Snow! It did snow. It's no, yeah. I heard about this. There's snow on the ground outside, and it's too cold. Oh, it already had to shovel places so the dogs could go out. Why?

I saw pictures of this where you had the fall leaves, only just really getting underway, and then ice in. snow. Literally this past week, I was like, oh, the leaves changed. Oh, fuck, the yard's all fucked with leaves. All right. Now, and I, like, yesterday, or like two days ago, I was like, I got to rake. I got to get out and rake or it's going to be. And then I'd fucking snowed. Yeah, it's, uh, it's fun. To be fair, it is November. It's almost the middle of November. So like, that is kind of the right time for snow, almost. But also, like, three weeks ago, it was 80 fucking degrees outside So also true

Thanks Ohio Some of the leaves that have landed like on the driveway And the sidewalk so it wasn't quite like enough snow Where it like stuck to the sidewalk and the driveway But where the leaves were The snow landed on the leaves So there's just like leaf shaped piles of snow All over the sidewalk and driveway

Because we have like some of the bigger leaves or whatever So there's just like little pockets of handfuls of leaves With piles of snow all over the place It looks really weird That's really funny. Yeah, no, it's cold. I hate it. So, I have a render farm update.

It's not going to be exciting. I'll take a nap immediately. So, in my experience, I have had many ups and downs with the render farm, especially in terms of, like, how to get the computers in there, what format. And I'm circling back to this crazy thing that's going to make a lot of people mad. Go out, ourselves. No, no. Oh, no, okay. Don't even need it. I've very much become like no water cooling at all unless it's like an all in one.

And even then, I would rather have an air cooler because it's just going to be consistent. At least I guess that the fan fails, but usually you can have two on them. I was so proud of my ability to go on eBay and find these crate. Wade? Nah, that's fine. I was so proud of my ability to go on eBay, you know, much like the Cincinnati Bengals. I was just going to write a sign that said Wade loses a point for every minute he sleeps while Mark talks

so it's good that you woke up. Anyway, so I did not know this but you know the Intel chip that everyone seemed to not review very well that I've been like it's actually very good they make a workstation grade motherboard for that that takes error correcting RAM and it's the same fucking price as a normal well, and a high end, but a high end normal desktop motherboard.

And why this is huge is error correcting RAM is very important on a server, especially if we're running in a long time, is because when it's doing calculations that are very precise, it needs to not have wrong numbers in the memory, that leads to bad issues. And there's a lot of reasons why it would happen, why it doesn't happen, but error correcting RAM corrects it. And so it makes it really, really uncommon for those to happen. But it's also stupendously cheaper than the even the discounted server hard. where I was getting online.

It is stupendous, and it's more power efficient, and it's like, and I look at it, I was like, ah, what was I fucking thinking with this stupid render farm? So, yeah, I'm going to be overhauling it because now that Iron Lung is wrapping up, I'm going to, I'm going to get it out of my bathroom. I'm going to get it out of the bathroom, and then I'm going to move it so that it could be, because it was always a stopgap. It was always like, this is urgent. I got to do this right here in this bathroom.

There's no other place to do it. apparently and then you know, then one thing or another, but I'm going to be moving it, I'm going to sell and stuff and then I'm going to convert it to a much more optimized, streamlined. And this is once again where I'm like, people, like, again,

you just don't be loyal to AMD or Intel, buy what is useful in the moment. And holy shit, I can, like, they're so discounting because no one wants to get them because the two frames per second, it gets less than the other ones. Who cares? It is such a good productivity chip. It's so good.

I'm doing overhaul of that. So I've got some computer parts coming in. Oh, that's fun. It's very fun. I've already sold a couple things back. So technically I'm up, except I paid for him before, so I'm down. But you got that money back. Full price, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, are you slowly drooping off the bottom of your shot, or is that just me? You look? Oh, I might be. I don't know. I was drawing us. I drew us.

Oh, oh. Wait a minute. I must be far away I'm really far away I like overall I mean it's funny because I'm saying that I was bitching last episode

about moving whenever we cut this recording I have to just my desk into I'm not sure what boxes whatever I can find and take it over to the other house holy fuck am I

not excited for that but I love when you get a new thing as a computer nerd I'm really excited right now because I have an old laptop that I've been like what do I do with it it still works

I'm gonna home lab. Guys, I'm gonna do home lab. Nice. You're gonna get my own, my own NAS. You're gonna get my, I have my, my, my, my videos hosted on a server. Plex server? You're gonna get a Plex? I'm gonna plex.

I'm gonna plex it up. Bro, I'm gonna get Plex so good. Whoa. I don't know what the hell you're saying. I'm gonna, I gotta set up a home VPN and probably compromise the security. My entire home network is gonna be sick. I mean, I'll figure it out once some bad happens. But it's always fun.

Like, I'm going to be really, I'm not a good computer engineer person. I'm going to be terrible. My home lab's going to be garbage. It's never going to work. What the hell's a home lab? It's just like a server. You just use an old computer. You just run a home server.

But there's lots of different little things you can do with it to where, like, you could have your own ad blocker on your whole network. I'm not going to do that because I don't mind the ads because that's how I make money on the internet. But there's a video. Wait, if you want to really not know what is going on and also judge someone for spending a lot of money on something that isn't necessarily useful. There's this guy with like an incredible home lab.

Like it's in a separate room in his basement that's noise proof, its own HVAC, a whole power system just for that from the solar panel of the batteries. And he went in there and was like, yeah, this is where I check the weather. This is where I keep the weather reports that I check. It's like that's he might be not saying what he's really doing there, but it seemed like really mundane stuff for all. It was like this room, but full of server racks, like bigger than my render farm. That dude is definitely hosting like terabytes of P2P, like movie downloads type of stuff.

He's doing something where he's like, ah, let's not talk about that, but... I think his job is actually doing kind of server maintenance, so maybe he's mining for Bitcoin. Oh, speaking of Bitcoin mining, I'm not ever going to invest in that, but I did see a little thing that's really fun. It's just, it's literally just like a gidgety gadget that's never going to do anything, but they make these little, I forget what they're called specifically, but it's basically like a little raspberry pie, like a very small computer set up to mine Bitcoin, but it's a, it's an all or nothing mining thing. So it's kind of like gambling. The way, the way mining usually works is your hardware, along with tons of other people's hardware, are solving this one problem. And then you get a fraction of a fraction of whatever the fee was, right? So like, you're sharing with, I don't even know, dozens, hundreds, thousands of other people. So that's why you mine tiny, tiny little bits. This one thing, like, finds a specific blockchain, whatever, transaction, and tries to solve the whole thing all by itself.

And if it does, you get the whole fee, which can be substantially more than what you, but, like, it's never going to do that. Never in a million years, is that going to happen? But it's fun. You can, like, I just sit on your desk and you watch it, and, like, maybe one day it'll be like, oh, you got half a Bitcoin, congrats. Isn't that a lot?

Isn't a Bitcoin work a lot? That's like 50 grand, 60 grand, something? Like, yes, it would be quite a lot. I don't think that's very realistic. But it's, it's a toy, right? It's just a little gadget. But it's fun because you're kind of like, maybe it'll hit.

It won't. But maybe it will. Yeah, Wade, I know it probably sounded dismissive when I said, you asked, this is mining, mining. I said, no. It's just because the Bitcoin mining things now are like building-sized. Oh, I've seen some.

pictures of people that have just like, yeah, like a mine shaft full of nothing but computers. Yeah, it's, it's kind of crazy. Dude, that would be so meta, a mineshaft Bitcoin mine. There was literally an image I saw where it looked like that. That dude who lives in Cerro Gordo should make one of the abandoned mine shafts into a Bitcoin mine. That'd be so fun. Do you know that YouTube channel?

I don't know the guy in Cerro Cordo, no. Sarah Gordo is a town outside of San Francisco. go. It's like one of the old, old mining towns. It was abandoned. And like five years ago, this dude bought it super cheap from like the state or the county or whatever. A whole town? A whole town filled with houses and buildings built a century or more ago. But he just moved out there and has been living in, I think it's called Ghost Town Living is the YouTube channel. I think we've talked about it before. I think I've talked about it before on this. It's fascinating. But he has a bunch of mine shafts and stuff and he goes down and actually the explores them because

the main elevator still functions and but he should have a bitcoin mine shaft that would be so meta dude it would be it would be how much did he buy a whole town for not very much it was literally like an abandoned plot of land on the top of a mountain that's impossible to get to and the buildings are not worth the crappy old rotted out wood that they're built with like like it's it's a fascinating uh journey that he's on uh and like he's built a new hotel and he's like he's hosted people to come on hang out but it's not there's like no no ring water no electricity it was like he bought an empty plot of land in the mountains that nobody wanted so it was not terribly expensive i don't think but also it was a long time ago so i don't remember that's fair

but he could do that that'd be so funny it's one it's one youtube videos worth of content right there for free uh anyway i i forgot we were recording i thought we were just chatting i kind of forgot about the whole episode thing yeah we do a podcast yeah it is kind of like we hang out it's fun to hang out that's kind of kind of what's going on here it does happen yeah there's there's times where i just get so cut up and what we're doing i kind of forget that it's this episode is brought to you by uber you know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most yeah we all need that sometimes and uber knows that uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered it's showing up no matter what i think that might be them knocking on the door and

because they're you know uber's really good about getting on right to where you are to them or the I'm not a hundred percent sure yep when it really matters whatever it is you show up or there's a will we're on our way Uber on our way download the app today well do you guys want to play a game yes yeah you guys heard of vain new like zombie survival game no sounds cool was vain yeah I think it was it V-A-I-N or V-E-I I think is it V-E-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-N-V-A-N-A-N-V-A-N-A-N-E How pretty are these zombies? V-E-I-N, like a blood V-Vey. I want to check it.

I've not got to play it yet. I want to check it. Reminds me a G-T-F-O. Ooh, that was a fun one. This is a thief simulator-style zombie game, right? You got big into G-T-F-O for a minute. I don't remember that. I did, yeah.

I think it's been described as like a first-person zomboid. Hmm. Well, Project Zoboid is really fucking difficult, so that's... Sounds like the kind of thing Mark might get into. I tried it. I did an episode where it ends when I died and I lasted about an hour That's not bad for a first attempt

I think it's supposed to be a hard game, right? I think people die pretty fast usually, don't they? I was destined to die like 10 minutes in but it was a slow like withering away kind of death and then I got chased down and eaten Yeah, so did not go well But yeah, I would like to play that

No, we're gonna play my game which was probably way worse than that because I invented it I was the other day was Mandy's dad's birthday and we were going out to dinner and we had to go and pick out a card and by which I mean

I let James run around and generally tried to keep him in an area that made sense and let him pick a card picked a card with dogs on it and it was very cute said something like you can teach an old dog new tricks or you know something like that greeting cardsy very generic but the picture was cute

and I was like man there are a lot of cards here but they're all for like the same three things there's like the birthday cards there's like the whatever seasonal holiday cards and then there's like get well soon cards there are a lot of other occasions that you might want to send

someone a card for so today I want you guys to help me come up with some ideas or greeting cards that you could send for some of these occasions that I have put down onto my list here and we're just brainstorm

and you know if you're like your ideas you earns points or whatever This is not birthdays and shit This is like unusual ones But I think that they'll be useful potentially Okay And what I want to start with is I want a card that you send someone

When they start having their midlife crisis This is like a congratulations on your midlife crisis Greeting card or something Can be anything We live in a world where I can take any picture I want Or I can buy stock photography And get things printed So the world

The world is your oyster Got it Mark On the front Right Uh huh It's not so bald You open it up

Packet of hair Stapled inside Like You can have it as a keepsake So it's like And it can pop out at you too Be like here It's on like a spring

You open it And the hair is just like Boing boing Exactly Yeah yeah Yeah And then it's got a sound bite in there But it's that guy

From SpongeBob going My eyes My eyes My eyes I don't have to go bald in their midlife crisis You can just be bald The crisis is not because of the bald But that is I feel like

A lot of people will like Get hair transplants Because they're having a midlife crisis And they're like I can't be bald I can't stay like this I don't think you have to do that I think some people look really good

With a fully shaved head Yeah So I had a different idea So you remember like the old Captain America so you're having a midlife crisis. Sure. So it doesn't have Captain America,

but it says, so you're having a midlife crisis. And it shows like, I don't know, a middle-aged guy, maybe full head of hair, but graying or bald. And then like,

I don't know, like a strapping model in the front seat of like a Corvette convertible going down like a nice gold paved road. And then you open it up and the Corvettes crashed it on fire and there's bodies on the ground.

It just says expectations versus reality. You're going to die. Is that a threat or? It's just as expectations versus reality. It just has, that gives it a threatening aura to me. Yeah, don't go through it. Don't do it.

Don't get the hair transplants or? Maybe. I see what you're going for. Little ominous, little threatening. You could kind of read that as opening. It's like, it's already over. You know, you might as well accept that, you know, the inevitability of your.

demise it could happen at any moment you know so why even try it was really dark why is why so dark it's hey they're allowed to be dark i'm looking for interesting you know i want the person who gets these cards to open them up and and it's going to make them think it's going to make them feel it's not just like you know because a lot of i appreciate when people get you a card for an occasion but a lot of times it's like oh and i got your card oh yeah oh because there's a camel oh thanks and that's it and it's like i want this i want this card to give a person pause. So dark is fine. Dark is allowed. I want to stop them dead in their tracks. See, I'm the kind of card shopper rather doesn't do it at all, or if it's not in the first five

cards I picked, I pick one of those cards anyway. So you're saying you're a thoughtful card buyer? No. Hate gifts, hate cards. All right. Well, I have another one. This one, this one maybe is not so specific as the example I want to give, but like a card with this vibe. congrats on deleting your ex's Netflix profile right like it doesn't have to specifically be Netflix but that thing right like yeah you deleted your exes user profile off your whatever thing right

like that sort of I want a card for that vibe because I feel like that in a modern world that's kind of a step right and when you're going through the process of a breakup if you were close enough with a person that they have profiles on your whatever deleting those big deal

I've got it can be a whole thing oh boy all right so you know the meme of like the guy walking with the girl and is looking over his shoulder at the other girl passing sure it's that but the the person who's like turned looking around

has like a name tag is like hi my name is but it's blank so you can fill it in so that way with whoever your ex is you can write their name on that like the person looking at the other person and you open it up and it's It's the girl who was like mad that the dude was looking at the other guy,

looking at like a Netflix account and has that name on the name tag. You write it in again. And it shows them going to delete profile with like a bucket of popcorn and smiling. It's convoluted, but it's memes, which I like. And I feel like it does deliver the message, which I appreciate. I thought it was going to get way worse. I think you built it up like there was going to be more threats of violence or death or something. No, no.

Not everything could be violent on fire. I'm just a little off balance, but like, I, I like that. That's good. That works. Midlife crisis full of flames. Midlife crisis, basically dead soon. Breakups, casual. They happen.

They happen. Okay, I'm going to combine mine with the midlife crisis as well. Sure, sure. That can happen. It happened. So on the front is like Netflix and chill. Overrated, right? You open up, how about Netflix and Biddle?

that you still have to pay. Netflix and Hills which you're already over. Netflix and pills which you now have to take and Netflix and thrills which you'll never have again. Congrats. Man Mark just Netflix that killed the vibe. Netflix and lost your will to live. I feel like yeah I feel like that's one there is a situation for that but maybe that's someone that you're trying to sort of send a message You're trying to get them to delete your profile. Yeah, okay, yeah. Or uninstall, you know, Netflix, like, stop using my account. We're never going to get back together. Yeah, those, I think those are both usable.

Don't tell Mandy, that was one of my categories. I am not secretly considering breaking up with her. I just, you like to have stuff in the back pocket, you know, so we're all married now. So this is all theoretical. A lot of relationships end at, like, the end of the honeymoon phase. Is your midlife crisis just the end of your life's honeymoon phase? maybe I don't know I haven't thought about a lot but it always struck me as like the point where you realize like as you approach your midlife crisis in your like late 30s whatever 40s whatever it hits usually that's the point where you're you start to sort of like your knee start to hurt and like your back or your back hurts or like right you're like getting old enough that you're like my body is starting to fail me right so I thought I was associated with like you've realized you're going to die. Now you're coping with

mortality by freaking the fuck out and buying a sports car or whatever. But it could be more connected to like the honeymoon phase because I don't know as millennials, we've had a lot of shit happen already pretty early in our lives but maybe it's not supposed to be like that for other generations.

Who knows? Honestly, like there's no way to actually ever know. Tells about your midlife crises in the comments. Yeah, if you're having a midlife crisis, I want to hear about it. Let me know what cool stuff you got going on. I'll be there soon. I assume. Maybe we're already there.

This one is sort of the last in a series of events for which you might want to send a card. But I feel like this one is one that's hard to find for. And I want a card for happy last day under house arrest. Or like happy conclusion of your court mandated house arrest. Something to go for that, right? It's like you send, you send like, you know, a gift card to Top Golf and a card that says, congrats, you can go to Top Golf now. You know, so I'm cool.

I got it. Okay. So this is niche. This is if you, no, it could be anybody. Anybody gives us to you. But you just got free. The bracelets off. You get this car.

It's like, congrats on finally being free. You open it. It says now no one is watching you, but you hear that little air tag. chirp it's got a sound there so you hear the air tag go off and then once you open it it will always go off until the battery dies yeah it'll stay on you even if you close it again it won't stop that's really they have to be really spread out though like there has to be a delay on the first chirp even threatening i like that similar vibe on the front as far as like you have a person like sitting in a dark room on a chair with like maybe like the TV light flashing on their face just

looking like sad and not clean shaver and whatever have you and it just says you fucked up and when you go to open it there's like a handcuff holding the two parts of the card together connected by a magnet so when you open it it breaks the magnet and the cuffs are like separated and then it says on the inside but you paid the price congrats on freedom but you paid the price and then it's the guy like the picture on the inside is the guy like opening the door and seeing sunlight for the first time and looking like blinded by it?

Sure, sure. That one's strangely optimistic. It sounded like it was going to be mean, but I actually liked that. And also you can put the air tag chirp in that one so that when they file that card away somewhere, it just starts doing that at a later date. I'll just sell that as an add-on to any card.

That could go in anything. Congrats on getting married. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep. Do you guys do this? Actually, a total sidebar. A real distractible moment here. Do you guys share your locations constantly with your spouses?

No, I don't think I ever have. Well, it's like an on or off thing, right? My location has been shared constantly for years now. I'm not even sure when it started, but it's just always been on. And I remember every once in a while, like, man, my battery life sucks on my phone. Why is this? Because the GPS is always on with it. But I just do that all the time anyway.

And I know that people probably have very strong opinions about that, but it's always been a no-brainer because if I'm coming back from somewhere, you can see if I suddenly stop, you know, and there's no traffic there. I'm like, hmm, that might be something. I'm not opposed to it. I just have never set it up. And so knowing me, I never will. So if it comes on by default, that's fine. Honestly, I had never thought, I'm kind of like you, Mark, I had never really thought about it. I think I had been, because I, on like, iOS or whatever, Mandy and I were spouses or family or however it were.

But then since we've had James, it really helps because like if one of us takes him somewhere, like take him to the park or whatever, then it's like he has like his own air tag thing. And it's just like an extra layer of like if one of us has him out, we're potentially way too busy to like send a quick text or whatever like if he's being completely crazy. But the other one can be like, I wonder what they're doing. Ah, they're in the car on the way home or like, oh, they're over at this part, whatever. just like for the that reason we we keep that up and running yeah so it's just like always been a thing that i do it's a little stockery like i definitely have had times where i like i i looked and i was like it's weird that i'm looking right now i don't need to know where mandy is but i'll look anyway i actually never looked like because well i mean i know i should but i don't

know we're work from home so where do we go yeah i'd have the most boring tracker ever it's like Wade's in the house, there he's still, yep, that's how it goes, 30 day streak. Speaking of all of our self-imposed house arrests, one more, and I feel like this again is maybe not one that we're going to use necessarily, but this is more like a public service one. I feel like it would be valuable. I want a card for the friend's own anniversary. There are infinite number of cards for anniversaries, for dating anniversaries, for wedding anniversaries for your parents anniversary, whatever. I think it would be polite if you have someone who is, you have seriously friends owned

and maybe they don't know, maybe it's unclear, but like you know that they're, just send a card, hey, happy friend's own anniversary. You know what? We're good. I appreciate you. I friend zoned you. And I acknowledge that. And here's a card.

And maybe a Starbucks gift card or something. Like, you know. Got it. Have a coffee. You guys have all seen Robin Hood men and tights. Yep. So we're going straight for the opening of the card is the chastity belt And there's a ring of like keys to open up the card, but none of them work

And all it says on the card is you tried, denied Oh, fuck, that's so good Can't open the card Damn it That's so good Every now and then a good idea pops up in here I don't think I could get one better than that I was working on a loose idea, but all

my confidence got deflated out of me. I'm sorry, I just, I had a great idea and I had to share it. I just, I've never been friend zone, so I don't know what this is like. Oh, yeah, I don't have any experience to pull from here. So I don't know. I'm trying a real blank here. That's fine. You know what?

If I just start talking, it'll, something will happen. And that's never fail to make before. Always works. All right. Card. Color? It's color. There is color.

Cosmic Latte? Cosmic Latte. Stars. Shooting stars. No. Squuss it. A line. Uh-huh.

Brilliant. Let it flow. Wait. It's a line of people. And it says on the front, there's an arrow pointed to some guy way back here. And it's a line. goes and then you open the card it's the whole globe and it's like and then it's me like you know to girl or whatever on the other side of the earth and the whole line is like I know you'd wait in line forever for me

thanks for being my friend nailed it never fails never fails It always works. You just start talking. You just start talking. Oh, when you yes and yourself for long enough, you'll eventually get there. Yeah, Wade, you're just so good. It shouldn't rocked me. I'm sorry.

I can't deny. Ultimate friend zone. Well, I think those are really useful. And look, I'm not greedy at watchers, listeners. If you like any of these ideas, these absolute gems that we've come up with today, you're welcome to use them. Go on to one of those websites where you can use your own images and stuff.

You can tweak it. You could apply it directly to your own situation. Maybe you had shared Hulu accounts instead of Netflix. Who knows? Customize it any way you might need. But I think that's where we're going to leave it. We don't want to let too much genius out all in one big rush. It'll disrupt the balance of the universe.

So in no particular order, Wad, you got points for Snow drawing us accurately bringing up Bitcoin mining your expectation versus reality card

your but you paid the price card and the chastity belt you tried denied none of the keys open none of the keys

open it yeah beautiful Mark you were in points for saying hi boys I got two right oh that's right I got two points for that it was yeah you got a double fair

point. You got a render farm point. You got a not so bald point. You got a Netflix and Pills point. You got the air tag torture point. You got a point for a line. And also, thanks for being my friend,

with friend heavily emphasized. Leaving the final score today at a cheek clenchingly tight eight to seven in favor of Mark. Mark is up 8 to 7 That double fair point

Really really eeked it out for you a little bit It's fair It's so fair It's so it's painfully fair It's very painfully fair It's unbelievably fair It's a good thing Mark baited you into doing that We just had to know how fair

It felt so fair to both of us We had to share it Anyway We'll spin I'm feeling a nice one I'm predicting it. I win by tie. Three.

Three. Three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, two. We split the difference. We're both wrong. Hooray. And I have to add a bonus point to the thingy. Fairness Amplifier. If something has been made doubly fair, it shall be once again made doubly fair.

Oh, fuck. It doubles the doubley fair. Well, so should it be an amplifier or should it be a fairness inversion? We have an inversion. I believe we do. Wait, do we? Wait, we have something with the fairness going to know on the thing already. Free parking.

Oh, free parking. Oh, wait. Was the monkey's paw go into the free parking? No, when we spin the same thing. When we re-spin, we're supposed to put ones in the fair parking, I think. Oh, is that it? I forgot about that. Free parking.

Free parking. I don't remember how... I know free parking gets points, but I remember how it's supposed to get points. We should write down what these mean. Lye points doubled. Minus one to current loser. No point.

Fuck you. Add two spins. Oh, I forgot that was in there. That's fun. Oh, here's the add 10% chance to one-man show. That's its own thing. Okay. Add 10, lose seven.

No. God, we have so many of that have never landed. I know. We have so many. Worst luck is one, but that's the... The coin has not been flipped. Flip and apply to the last contentious thing.

Okay. I think that's one when we have. I don't remember there being one for. I love the doubling the doubler because that could be positive or negative because if someone gets true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, fairness amplifier. That's a good one. Fairness.

Now we're going to see this in like a year. Be like, what the hell's fairness amplifier? You can put parentheses doubles the doubles if, if it happened, I guess. It would be double no matter what because double zero, zero, double negative, double positive. Yeah, doubles coin flip results is what I'll put on here Because it makes it doubly doubly-doubly fair or doubly-dly-unfair Either way, it will amplify it or yeah, or doubles-0 And then we don't have to re-spin, we just take the doubles nothing

So we got two spins and we got the fairness amplifier in play All right, can't wait to C-point for listeners Wade is up, nope, Mark is up by one, eight to seven, Mark is winning Come on, hold on to it, baby. Spin number one Sung the most Did any of us sing? I definitely didn't sing

Because I was just thinking Man my voice is a little tired From all the impressions we did I don't think we sang I wish I could say I sang We could have That could have come up in the greeting card stuff But I don't think it did

Yeah I rhymed I don't think that counts I'll say re-spin Yeah I can't think of a song Spin number one, take two. Most cursed. Well, I guess Wade lost. I don't know if that counts. Yeah, you lost the coin flip.

That's bad luck. Bad luck. Wade's expectation versus reality card idea was kind of cursed. I'm not going to argue against my point. Yeah, I can't see it going my way and I can see it leaning Wade. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I think it leans Wade. It does lean.

Plus, generally, Wade has a much higher. average level of cursingness. You know, graying first, balding first, no car for four years. Car fell in the ocean. All of it was worth it for this point. All right. Second spin. We're all tied up at eight.

Please God give one of them a point. Hosted previous episode. Wait, is that technically the listeners? No, no. You hosted. You just weren't the winner. It doesn't say winner. You did host it.

All right. Thank you. Thank God. It didn't fucking involve the fact that I let the listeners win an episode. Of course we would get the one thing that would bring that back up again.

Anyway, as per usual, the wheels had some impact, you could say. Some. Some may have affected the outcome. Mark, you end up with eight points. And Wade, if I'm counting

correctly, Wade ends up with a total of nine points. That sounds incredibly fair. And if you listen to the title of the episode, which I said at the very beginning, uh, no, there's no surprise golf rules. Thank you, Jesus. No, Wade just wins. Uh, congratulations, Wade. Honestly, Mark, I thought you had it.

That was some rough, a rough luck with the wheel. That was rough spins, rough spins. That's, uh, you know what? We got some that hadn't come up before. I didn't care for them. I feel like maybe on the next constitutional one, we should get a thing where if something comes up and like we hate it, we could just delete it.

And it'd be like, fuck that. Because there are definitely some that are like, it's funny. Yeah, there should be some way to delete them. Yeah. Maybe not so much as a whim, but something should. Or like if it comes up twice in a row, like, or twice in the same set of spins, it gets deleted or something.

because that also has happened. Yeah, that could happen. I don't know. We can't do anything out now. I won once because of three half points. I kind of like those. But yeah, anyway, Mark, loser speech. Well, you know, I cannot even say that this is fair or unfair

because that's already been said and it's already been won. I had a crazy good tactic in the beginning, playing off of my opponent's weaknesses. But it turns out that even if luck wasn't on his side in the beginning, It was somehow on his side at the end And everything balances out In the end, I guess But he still didn't win last episode

So technically he's only up one more win over this Even though he's hosting twice So honestly he has to do twice to work for one of the win So I'm okay with that He's a sucker really I think it's what I have to agree with We're playing him for a full universe I know that there's a plan here

Wade Winner's speech Listen boys It was well fought I was really down on my luck at the start, as mentioned, but this win is my win. This counts. This is a win. And even though taking it away was what you guys were trying to do, you tried, denied.

We didn't try and do anything. The coins are fair. The coins determined what was fair. We didn't do nothing. You just, nice win. You both just try to diminish my wins. We did diminish your win very successfully. No, it's, your win is half of half of the normal win.

But you still have a win. You tried. Denied. You're all six, seven, and about it. This, this win is prorated with your previous hosting, so you basically had two half wins because of how math works. It's not very on fleak, boys, I win. I don't have to do anything to make you look bad on that one.

Uh, thank you for your winner speech, Wade. Look forward everyone to Wade hosting another one. And hopefully it will not be a list. listener-focused episode because, yuck. Ah, voice impressions take two! Oh, yay, hooray. I mean, I was baiting you. You got reverse psychology.

It'll be my... It'll be physical impressions. Now you have to sing while doing the impressions. Two sentence impressions songs. And Dan the Piano Man comes out of the shadows behind us to start playing music that we have to sing to. We get music, Bob gets to rap. Yay, rapping. My favorite.

I'm good at rapping. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for more for watching. Make sure you follow the podcast so you know when the episodes come out, even though it's the same time every week. Some of you still forget. Follow Mark, Wade, and myself on our channels. Mark Plyar, Lord, Minion 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, and Micekerm.

That's it. Thanks so much for being here. Come back for the next one, or I'm sure Wade will not torture us at all. Baldonk, coming at you. Until that joyous day, podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.